Thug Apologists Welcome Matt Jones to the Fold

Eazy E is proud to announce that he has landed a new customer....errrr player to the Thug Apologists roster. Matt Jones! he loves him some cocaine and suddenly he also loves being the Jaguars go to receiver. who knew? it must be the sweet 'stache that he grew after getting busted for doing blow. whatever it is we is proud to have his freakish cracker ass on our fantasy team.

We were sorely lacking in the dumbass department on this team...mostly hoping Favre would have a painkiller and booze relapse under the pressures of playing in the NYC. now we got us a go to receiver/coke head to make this team way more interesting.

I'm Pretty Sure Chris Todd Can't Do This

so here's the clip of the awesome play Kodi Burns made in the Tennessee game i was takling about in my Pro-Kodi post this morning.

too bad this drive ended in Wes Byrum missing a field goal.

thanks to the Auburner for posting a link to this video as i'd been searching for it all day. also i liked their spin on Bama being #2 in the AP Poll. it's never to early to start talking shit about the Iron Bowl.

FALCONQUEST 08 hits another snag

The Falcons quest for a Fanger Rang hit another bump in the road as they got they damn ass whooped by the fucking Panthers. i guess Atlanta just needs to ask the league if they can play all their games at THE DOME so we can get this championship season back on track. sadly Fucknuts McWhitey didn't throw any picks. how the fuck is he ever gonna challenge that NFL record if he doesn't toss interceptions in losses? damnit! you are giving me false hope with all these halfway descent rookie performances! actually this loss had nothing to do with Ryan and everything to do with the Falcons inability to get their running game going. Atlanta really could've used this game as they are about to go into the meatgrinder portion of their schedule. oh well, maybe Aaron Rogers is too hurt and the Falcons can upset the Packers....okay, yeah that probably won't happen.

The NFLs Week 4, Cowboys Can Eat A Dick

-another week in the NFL, another former Auburn player puts a hurt on one of the NFL's elite teams. Jason Campbell was hardly the destroyer of worlds like Ronnie Brown was last week, but still he's proving to be a pretty solid NFL QB and worth a 1st round draft pick. War Eagle, Jason.

-The Titans are the closest thing to an SEC team the NFL has. awesome running game. awesome defense. some old piece of trash at QB. actually they sound pretty much like Alabama, although the Tide may have a better receiving corp.

-hey Larry Johnson is still good a football. who knew?

-Brett Favre is your KING OF THE NFL for week 4. if he wasn't on my damn fantasy team this would annoy the shit out of me. so what's the over/under on the amount of times Favre's name comes up on Monday Night Football? i'm going with 36.

-speaking of Favre...Greenbay is 2-2 and Aaron Rogers has a separated shoulder. hahahahahaahahahahahaha.

-David Garrard is the most awesome shitty QB in the NFL. go Jags.

-The Bills are 4-0? i am confused. what year is this? 1992? no, it's not. okay, well fuck...now i'm really confused. Go Toronto!

-FUCKING RAIDERS LOSING TO THE GODDAMN CHARGERS AND DARREN MCFADDEN DOESN'T DO SHIT ALL GAME. i mean seriously, the Raiders really know how to break my heart. you FUCKING HAD the Chargers and then you give up 25 points in the 4th quarter?!?! fuck you guys! why do i still root for you?! it's not the 90s, Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen aren't on that team anymore.

-oh yeah, and finally check out this awesome photo of Matt Jones. i guess doing cocaine and growing that sweet stache have made him a better NFL receiver. i am totally picking him up for my fantasy team.

god, he was so fucking awesome in college...and he didn't even have that sweet look and cocaine problem yet. fuck Tebow! Matt Jones is the greatest white, run first QB ever.

Now That Is How You Win A Fucking Fantasy Football Game

so thanks in large part to the country bumpkin' up in the NYC, the Thug Apologist put on the sort of savage fantasy football beating that can make you forget about the fact that the NFL team you root for can't win a road game to save their lives. Favre tossed 6 fucking touchdowns (hey i wonder if that douchebag Kornheiser will talk about it non-stop on Monday Night Football) which ended up being 45 fantasy points and then the rest of my team added some good totals as well netting us a final of 156...and that's just cuz we left Steve Slaton and Michael Bush on the bench and played Fred Taylor and Darren McFadden's no producing asses. ah DMac...you are fucking me good on that pick aren't you? regardless Romo and T.O. are back to whipping ass and getting big points as is the Titans defense. now if only my damn runningbacks would ever produce we might be able to hang 200 on a motherfucker.

Eazy was pleased and noone had to die. and that's what really matters.

College Football Pick Em: Week 6

IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT I SUCK AT PICKING COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAMES. I GOT 12 OUT OF 25 LAST WEEKEND. IT'S A GOOD THING I DON'T GAMBLE FOR A LIVING.

Thursday October 2
1: Pitt @ USF- SOuth Florida
2:Oregon St. @ Utah- Utah
Saturday October 4
3:Penn St. @ Purdue- Penn State
4:Duke @ Ga Tech- Ga Tech
5:Iowa @ Michigan State- Mich State
6:Boston College @ NC ST- Boston College
7: Oklahoma @ Baylor- Oklahoma
8:florida @ Arkansas- Florida
9:South Carolina @ Ole Miss- Ole Miss
10:Stanford @ Notre Dame- Notre Dame
11:Army @ Tulane- Tulane
12:Kentucky @ Alabama- Bama
13: Texas Tech @ Kansas State- Texas Tech
14:Az. State @ california- Cal
15:Illinois @ Michigan- Illinois
16: Florida St. @ Miami- FSU
17:Navy @ Air Force- Navy
18: Auburn @ Vandy- Vandy
19:Texas A&M @ Oklahoma St.- OK State
20: Connecticut @ North Carolina- UNC
21:Texas @ Colorado- Texas
22:Oregon @ USC- USC
23:Ohio St. @ Wisconsin- Ohio State
24:Missouri @ Nebraska- Mizzou
25: Northern Illinois @ Tennessee- Tennessee
Tiebreakers (Total Pts)
A:Auburn @ Vanderbilt- 2
B: FSU @ Miami- 48
C: South Carolina @ Ole Miss- 65

Auburn Dynasty Mode, Week 5

in the video game world, Auburn's new spread offense continues to be a lot more fun and a lot more watchable. if only reality were like this...

So Auburn takes on Tennessee at home in Week 5 of my Dynasty season. unlike the real Tennessee, the video game version is ranked with only 1 loss to Florida. they've got a pretty dominated running game and a solid defense....or at least they were till they ran into the motherfucking Buzzsaw That Is My Virtual Auburn Tigers.

this one got ugly quick. as Auburn jumped out to a 21 to 0 lead in the first quarter. Tennessee was able to briefly get back into the game and make it 21-14 but that was as close as it ever got and Auburn rolled on to a 42-24 victory.

despite giving up 24 points, my defense was still as dominate as ever. getting to the QB for 6 sacks and forcing 1 fumble. still it was the offense that ruled this game.

Kodi Burns was basically unstoppable, throwing deep passes against the soft Tennessee coverage or waiting for the linebackers to drop back and help out with coverage and take off for easy runs and first downs. but really there was no need for a running game as i lit up Tennessee with ease through the air. Burns passed for 392 yards and 5 touchdowns with only 1 interception. he also rushed for another 43 yards. Ben Tate added another 41 yards and a touchdown on the ground.

the Auburn receivers blew up in this game, led by Mario Fannin. Fannin had 90 yards receiving on 6 catches for 2 touchdowns. he also had 21 yards rushing on a reverse. Rod Smith added 95 yards of his own and 1 touchdown, Robert Dunn has 74 yards and 1 touchdown, and Montez Billings hauled in 4 receptions for 89 yards and a touchdown.

again...if only the real Auburn offense could work so well.

If Only The Fans Had A Voice

granted if they let Auburn fans run things we'd have fired Tubs about a dozen times by now and would be hanging around somewhere in the Kentucky and South Carolina regions of the SEC...but regardless it's a little disheartening to know that Chris Todd will continue to be Auburn's starting QB. sure he played well in the 1st half, but the guy can't complete a pass longer than about 15 yards and he's a sitting duck in the pocket, which completely nullifies the read option...thereby making the Auburn running game a complete afterthought. sure Vandy is ranked and it's a road game and blah blah blah...but wouldn't the following 2 game stretch of Vanderbilt and Arkansas be the perfect time to hand this floundering offense over to the young Burns? but what do i know anyways?

i mean just look how awesome he is on NCAA 2009!

i really wish i could find a clip of him escaping from the three defenders and throwing for a first down in the 2nd qt of the Tennessee game. it was my perfect argument for making him the starter.

Some Random Pics From Gameday

me at 8:30am....not a pretty site.

it was way too early for this shit.

possibly the most homoerotic photo ever.

or...maybe this one is better suited for that title.

i will agree with this statement 100%.

MY FAVORITE SIGN of the Day. Corso is a Dutch! misspelling douche for your Gameday sign...Classic!







my thoughts on the whole College Gameday Experience:

if you really wanna enjoy it i recommend being drunk and 20 years old. if you aren't either of those things you will probably just be bored and hungry like i was. still it was cool to go out and watch the spectacle. i saw more fucking signs of Knowshon jumping over shit than anything else. most of the signs weren't very creative at all. my battery died on my digital camera so i wasn't able to take pics of a couple of the good ones. all in all i guess this was worth waking up at 8 am for...but i doubt i'd do it again.

Chaos Returns To The Polls!

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25, Week 5

1. VANDERBILT FOREVER!!!!!
2. Oklahoma
3. Alabama
4. LSU
5. Texas
6. Missouri
7. Penn State
8. Texas Tech
9. BYU
10. South Florida
11. USC
12. Georgia
13. Ohio State
14. Auburn
15. Florida
16. Utah
17. Kansas
18. Boise State
19. Wisconsin
20. Oregon
21. Virginia Tech
22. Fresno State
23. Connecticut
24. Northwestern
25. Ball State

-yep, College Football is still as BATSHITFUCKINGCRAZY as it ever was. everyone goes down...are there even 25 teams worth ranking?
-ah Georgia, you guys really know how to choke in the moment with style. i hope you learned a valuable lesson about silly gimmicks and over-confidence.
-anyone who thinks Ohio State and USC are totally out of the BCS title game are insane. with a week like this, i am reminded that noone knows anything and chaos will always reign supreme.
-i really have a problem ranking anyone from the Big East or the ACC...i think those two should have to fight out for 1 of the BCS bids and give the Mountain West 2 this year. the State of Utah is better at college football than both of those conferences combined.
-HOW THE FUCK DID WISCONSIN LOSE TO MICHIGAN?
-HOW THE FUCK DID WAKE FOREST LOSE TO NAVY?
-HOW THE FUCK DID TEBOW NOT GET ONE FUCKING YARD?!!!!!
-HOW THE FUCK DID AUBURN ACTUALLY WIN THEIR GAME WITHOUT ACTUALLY PLAYING ANY OFFENSE?!?!?!?!!
-HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS COLLEGE FOOTBALL?!?!?!?

Worst.Offense.Ever.

so are we sure Brandon Cox doesn't have any eligibility left?

dear god, watching Auburn play offense should come with a warning label: may cause permanent brain damage. what a fucking joke? so if firetonyfranklin.com isn't up an running yet, i would be very surprised. suffering through yet another ugly win for my Tigers has brought my patince level down towards and zeros. i knew this season would be one of struggles and hickups, but seriously if Tennessee didn't have the worst damn QB not named Casey Dick in the SEC or runningbacks who don't like hanging on to the football then there isn't a chance in fucking hell that Auburn would have beaten the Vols yesterday.

the defense remains the only reliable thing on this team as we have lost all ability to run, pass, or kick. bt you can't expect that undersized group to pitch shutouts all game long and then try and just win a puntfest every goddamn week. it just isn't gonna happen.

the biggest positive in the game besides the defense was that Auburn fans finally got to see Kodi Burns at QB. after Todd played well in the 1st quarter, Burns came into the game in the 2nd half and led an exciting drive...running for and then escaping multiple defenders and throwing for a 1st down and showing us for the briefest of moments what kind of offense WE COULD HAVE if they'd just stick that rag armed rainbow tossing JC transfer piece of garbage, Todd, on the bench for good. honestly I CAN NOT WATCH CHRIS TODD PLAY FUCKING FOOTBALL FOR AUBURN ANY LONGER. TELL TONY FRANKLIN TO TAKE HIS PLAYBOOK AND HIS QB AND STICK THEM BOTH OF HIS FUCKING ASS. despite Burns problems throwing the ball, it seems pretty obvious to me and everyone else watching that game, that Kodi is the best chance we have...hell he's the ONLY chance we have. so quit fucking around and make him the starter for good.

i'll have a ton more to say about this game and Auburn's shitty offense, and how i'd like to see the Tigers play out the rest of this season later this week. right now i just have to shake my head and say, "How The Fuck Are We 4-1? War Eagle."

Roll Tide, Indeed

I guess they were going to their funeral.

oh man. i don't think i've ever enjoyed a Bama win and a Georgia loss that much in my entire life. sitting at the bar last night watching Bama hang 31 on the Dawgs in the first half and then watching the Trail Of Tears that followed (despite Georgia's second half attempt at a comeback...junk points!) was some of the funniest shit i've seen in a long time. Fuck Georgia! Fuck The Blackout! Fuck Your Heisman! and Your BCS title! a Bama team with a bunch of fucking freshman and one big fat ass just ended all that bullshit. welcome back to reality motherfuckers. Thank You Alabama for that wonderful public service.

My dog, Bruiser (who is a Georgia fan...yes sadly we are a house divided) was not amused.

TV Party: Week 5 (BLACKOUT EDITION)

i plan on starting the morning off watching College Gameday Live, live from wherever the hell it's being filmed. lots of cussin' and dick jokes on signs being held by college kids with hangovers. fun for all. then after all that i'll find myself at home or at MR. Bloggins' to watch....

ARE YOU READY FOR AN SEC ASSWHIPING TO START YOUR MORNING?
Ole' Miss @ Florida, 12:30PM on MyATL TV.

is this the moment that Ole' Miss makes their statement game to let the SEC know they are a team on the rise? hahahahaha! hell no. that'll sadly probably come against Auburn.

THE PANIC BOWL
Tennessee @ Auburn, 3:30pm on CBS

two SEC with high expectations coming off losses with big questions about their new offensive coordinators and their once solid running games both have become prone to turning the ball over. after this game someone is going to be completely fucked and someone will have a small glimmer of hope.

RESPECT THE TIDE 2: BLACK OUT STYLE
Alabama @ Georgia, 7:45pm on ESPN

Georgia's wearing black cuz they're going to a funeral. but who's funeral is it? for me, i could honestly care less. i just wanna see a good game, i'd also like to see Terrance Cody try and eat Knowshon. with USC losing last night the Dawgs could be playing to get that #1 ranking back...which means they'll probably choke on Bama's dick and lose.

They've Come For Our Juice!

so Gas Apocalypse 2008 continues. Athens' pumps remain dry...what exactly that will mean with 60 to 100 thousand people (give or take) invading our little city tomorrow, i have no idea. but there really is NO FUCKING GAS. if you're smart then i hope you car pooled. anyone who drove a giant SUV or a fucking RV into town is a goddamned moron and i hope the rats have you for dinner.

Suicide Watch (2008): Week 5

uggghh.....it's been a long week. i've been sick for most of it. it probably was all the poison escaping my body following the loss to LSU last week, or maybe i'm dying. whatever it is, i've avoiding thinking about the Tennessee game all week. from the beginning of the year i predicted Auburn would go 10-2 in the regular season and one of the losses would be to this Vol team...but i was sort of thinking it was gonna follow a win against LSU, thereby making it a lot easier to swallow. now Auburn can't afford another loss if they've got any kind of shot at going to Atlanta in December.

Tennessee enters this game wounded and beaten at 1-2 with a blowout loss to Florida last Saturday. The Vols running game has been coughing the ball up even more than Auburn's has and their new offense looks equally as unimpressive as the Spread Eagle. and so that puts this all on the defense again for both teams. last week LSU showed everyone that a big offensive line and a power running game can move the ball at ease against the very fast but undersized Auburn front 7. let's see, what does Tennessee have at their disposal? hmmm...giants on the offensive line? check! Montario Hadesty and Aarion Foster in the backfield (assuming they don't fumble every time they touch the ball)? check. looks like another recipe for disaster. luckily Jonathon Crompton hasn't showed us anything this season and Auburn might actually have an advantage in the passing game....dear god, how? but with the way that Auburn's defensive backs got shredded against LSU in the 2nd half last week, it wouldn't surprise me at all if Crompton went out and chuck it for 400 yards and 3 touchdowns and Lucas Taylor flew past Powers and McNeil.

Chris Todd gets the start again at QB for Auburn and he did actually have a halfway descent game against LSU...except for the interceptions (oh wait, isn't the QB NOT supposed to throw interceptions? yeah, well then fuck Todd!) he also proved that he's just as fleet of foot as Brandon Cox was and got sacked for big losses that killed Auburn drives. where was Kodi Burns? possibly in the witness protection program. no one will say for sure. Todd's rainbow bright lofts will surely be mouth watering to Eric Berry and the rest of Tennessee's very talented secondary. so if you like interceptions this could be the game for you. and after Tony Franklin said he plans on throwing the ball more this week, interceptions are likely to be something we see. Ben Tate and Brad Lester both completely disappeared last week as Auburn's running game was non-existent. wouldn't now be the perfect time to put Kodi Burns and Mario Fannin in the backfield together and see how that whole read option thing works when you've got a couple of playmakers back there? just think Oregon 2007, Dennis Dixon and Jonathan Stewart and then tell me that isn't the vision that a Burns and Fannin backfield doesn't give you. i love Lester and Tate but those guys were recruited to run up the middle behind a fullback and a run blocking offensive line. neither of them seems to have the speed to get to the outside, especially when the QB handing if off to them is no threat to run. Triston Davis and Mario Fannin are both much better fits for the spread and despite Burns lack of passing accuracy he's the biggest weapon the Tigers have and are refusing to use. one can only hope that if Tennessee knocks us off tomorrow that it might actually force a change in the backfield and we can finally move on with the FUTURE instead of being tethered to this idea of some kid who doesn't have the talent to play in the SEC just because he's got some experience running the spread.

as you can tell i have no confidence at all about this game, despite Tennessee's record. they lost a heartbreaker to UCLA that they basically dominated all game and then gave away. they destoryed UAB. and then they got beat by one of the top 5 team's in the country at the Swamp in a game where their offense had a complete meltdown. i don't believe the Vols are really as bad as their record shows. and now they are backed into a corner. and what better way to tell everyone in the SEC that they still are a team to be feared then to go into Auburn and play a Tiger team that got their hearts ripped out in a very physical game the week before and and pull off a minor upset? Misery loves company.

potential for tragedy: 9.5, i have such a horrible feeling about this game. Tennessee looks bad...and that just makes me all the more afraid that they are gonna roll into the Plains and just kick Auburn's ass. hopefully a loss might bring some changes...like a new QB perhaps?

method of suicide: Asphyxiation by Carbon Monoxide...oh wait, you'll need gasoline in your car for that. nevermind.

Ha Ha!

Oregon State 27 USC 21

so much for the greatest team in the history of teams.

Jacquizz Rodgers drinks for free, forever. Go Mighty Mouse, Go!

The Future's so Bright...

so maybe all this talk of Burns vs. Todd will be made obsolete next year when four star recruit Raymond Cotton rolls into town. i'm not big on playing a true freshman at QB, but when he's 6 foot 5, with a good arm and good speed and looks a little bit like a certain other Auburn QB currently playing in the NFL, it's hard not to want to see the kid sooner rather than later.

props to the War Eagle Reader for finding an interesting article on Cotton at his new highschool in Maryland.

What's Up With All These Bama/UGA posts?

it's a question i've been asking myself. it's possible that i'm still in shellshock over Auburn's loss to LSU last Saturday night and i'm not ready to think about the very unlikely task ahead of my Tigers if they wanna make it to Atlanta at season's end. there's something to be said about having a team blowout you out vs. them ripping out your heart in the final moments, with a blowout there is a sense of acceptance that you just weren't as good that day and it's time to move on to the next week. with heartbreakers you tend to dwell on the game, going over and over in your head of all the reasons you should or could have won the game. it creates a mental block...and before you know it the next Saturday is here and your getting blown out by a wounded Tennessee team that's out for blood. Misery loves company and they've got plenty to share.

The Magnetic Fields are feeling my pain this week.


And so i've dubbed this Thursday as "pull your head out of your ass day" for everyone in the Auburn nation. i don't care what you have to do but no more thinking, talking, or crying about LSU. i got over it by playing as the 1985 Auburn Tigers on NCAA Football 2009 against this year's LSU team and just destroying them with my awesome backfield of Bo Jackson, Tommie Agee, and Brent Fullwood. what's a spread? i'm running the option bitch. how's 700 yards rushing sound to you?

anyways all i'm saying is it's time to move on to those Push Pop looking motherfuckers and leave LSU behind.

"Respect The Tide!", Aka The Legend Of KennieBloggins and His Furious Anger (or how to intimidate your friends and scare away strangers)

the events of September 22nd 2007 may be known to Georgia fans as the night Stafford beat Alabama with a touchdown pass to Mikey Henderson in overtime, all while one of the announcers was talking about Britney Spears...but for me, an Auburn fan who was watching the game with a group of UGA fans and one very drunk Bama fan (my good friend KennieBloggins) it will always be known as "RESPECT THE TIDE! night".

it is hard to sort out the fact from fiction around such an event as this, especially when one tries to sift through the shouting and the haze of 30 something beers, but as best as i can remember it Mr. Bloggins and I were sitting down for a night of good old SEC football with me having no real rooting interest in the game and Mr. Bloggins feeling very positive about his Tide in their first year under new headcoach Nick Saban. it was a night game that followed an entire days worth of drinking, shit talking, and football watching among good friends who just happen to be rival fans. but sometime around kickoff or possibly early in the 1st quarter the Bloggins residence was invaded by a posse of UGA fans, all of whom were ready to talk some shit and rile up our host. it should be noted that Georgia fans by nature are douchebags through and through. it should also be noted that Kenniebloggins likes him some drank on gameday and is a noted sore loser. i could see it early on that things could get ugly quickly.

Georgia jumped out ahead of the Tide early on and at half time had a 10-3 lead. the UGA fans were in full on taunt mode and our friend KB was stewing in it. but Bama came charging back, tied it up with a John Parker Wilson QB sneak. but the euphoria of that score would not last as the Dawgs drove down the field on the next possession, sparked by the coming out party of one Knowshon Moreno who had a run where he knocked over a Bama defender and did a little dance...the Georgia fans being easily impressed by things like good solid running and little dances jumped and shouted and taunted our Bama loving friend. it was at this moment that the darkness began to take hold of the evening. Georgia scored on that drive with a touchdown run from Knowshon which resulted in another volley of insults and taunts and this was the breaking point. KennieBloggins left the house to go outside and consult the werewolves and goblins currently inhabiting his brain.

i took this moment to inform our UGA fan friends that they were jackasses and should know better. moments later KB returned and it was then that all hell broke lose and the fabric of reality was torn asunder as Kenniebloggins unleashed a profanity laced tirade chastising everyone in attendance who had come to start some shit and make trouble and informed them that they would in fact "Respect The Tide!" if they wanted to continue to watch football in his home. it was a speech that lasted no longer than 5 minutes but seemed like a lifetime. it was there and then that i understood what real madness was. it's the moment that friendships can turn into triple homicides over the outcome of an intense college football game. luckily noone was killed on this night, but many of us returned to our homes after Georgia's victory psychologically scarred, but with a very real and very well earned new found respect for Mr. Bloggins and his love of the Tide...however insane it may be.

and so on this Saturday night for those of us who were there in 2007, i ask that each of us take a moment in the game and say a little prayer for Kenniebloggins and his raging alcohol fueled passion and thank him for teaching us all a valuable lesson on that night. Sometimes we all must respect the Tide, not because we want to, but because it's what must be done for the good of all.

If Only I Was Allowed To Be the Falcons GM on Draft Day

so being a longtime suffering fan of the Atlanta Falcons i am used to 2 things in my life.

1. Losing (we've never had back to back winning seasons EVER much less multiple trips in a row to the playoffs) and...

2. Really underwhelming drafts, mostly populated by overrated players from the ACC who rarely pan out or end up being more trouble than they are worth.

it is frustrating to live in the South surrounded by the best college football in the country and then watch our homestate NFL franchise not draft players from the SEC. this lack of attention to the homegrown talent was never more apparent than in this year's draft when the Falcons opted to sign Michael Turner to a big contract and draft QB Matt Ryan instead of drafting SEC superstars Darren McFadden or Glenn Dorsey, which could only help spark interest from the local college fans who could care less about the Falcons on a year to year basis. i'll admit Turner was a good move, especially when paired with Norwood (Mississippi State product) but you can't tell me that almost every single Falcons' fan wouldn't have rather seen Glenn Dorsey plugging up the d line instead of ol Fucknuts McWhitey back there chucking bombs and picks. they could've sold jerseys for years if they'd waited a year and taken Matt Stafford instead...but yeah, that would've made all the people in Georgia too damn happy.

i'd like to see the management just turn Atlanta into an SEC All Star team...it'd be so awesome...or it would be a horrible failure and the team would suck, but who cares? it's just the Falcons. it can't be worse then what they've been doing for years anyways. and so if i could some how rub a magic lamp and get to conduct the 2009 Draft for the Atlanta Falcons i'd do what all real Falcons fans would like to see Atlanta do, stay in the South and take players almost exclusively from the SEC.

here's my 2009 Mock Draft for Atlanta

Rd Player School Position
1 Andre Smith, Alabama Left Tackle
2 Sen'Derrick Marks, Auburn Defensive Tackle
3 Pat White, West Virginia Wide Receiver/Quarterback
4 Cornelius Ingram, Florida Tight End
5 Brad Lester, Auburn Runningback
6 Kirston Pittman, LSU Defensive End
7 Anthony Parker, Tennessee Guard

so there you go 6 guys from the SEC and Pat White thrown in for good measure...just because i love that guy and think it would be awesome to have him returning kicks playing receiver and going behind center on some trick plays. so yeah, this is not really a list that'll blow your doors off, but it's a lot of really good SEC players who probably won't be busts like all the fucking Virginia Tech corner backs we are prone to take.

Favre is still Shitty...just so you know

i was gonna write this really long post about Favre's crappy performance last night and how i think that last year was just a big fucking mirage, but those boys over at KSK pretty much nailed it, so i ain't got to much else to add. i bet Chad Pennington and Aaron Rogers were text each other during the game and laughing their asses off.

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS MUST BOW BEFORE THE BLACKOUT

a city wide Blackout has been called for Athens, GA and even myself, an Auburn fan can not escape it's powerful grasp. also my ringtone this week will be Soulja Boy. if you call me, i will dance for you.

it is a weird thing to be in town on Gameday as my team's two biggest rivals clash. one may ask, who do you root for in such a game? well the answer of course is neither. but then someone may say...well who would you like to see lose the most? which is a far better question. Alabama is the state of my birth and also the favorite team of my good friend Kenniebloggins and most of my redneck backwoods extended family, but Athens is my home and also the University that nearly every person i know graduated from (not me, i'm too dumb...moved here to play music, what a fucking townie.) and thanks to that darn overtime there can be no tie. so either way you look at it, whoever wins Auburn loses and then on the other hand...whoever loses, Auburn wins. if you put a gun to my head and told me i had to pick a side then i'm just gonna go with Vanderbilt.

Peace Out, Larry

THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE VOICE. Larry Munson called it a career yesterday and retired as the voice of the Georgia Bulldogs. it makes me sad that his last game was against Central Michigan, i know his health has been bad but it must be really bad not to have just done one last game. MB (aka Kenniebloggins) thinks this is all a ploy to get Georgia even more fired up for the Bama game and that there will be an announcement that Larry has decided to call one more game for the Dawgs. followed by Herschel Walker parachuting into the stadium with Uga on his back and he'll land on the field and start running over Bama players and chaos will reign. i think that would be kinda rad if it were true.

i have spent most of my life living in the state of Georgia surrounded by rival Dawgs fans. i have long hated the Bulldogs football team...even more so than Alabama or Florida (well no that i REALLY hated Florida when Spurrier was there). but there are 3 things about UGA footbal that i have long been envious of:
1. Uga, best damn mascot in college football.
2. The Uniforms, 2nd best unis in the SEC...sadly Bama is first.
3. Larry Munson, the greatest announcer in the history of college football.

960 The Ref was running Munson's greatest hits yesterday while i was trying to get gas (FOR A FUCKING HOUR AND A HALF, FUCK YOU IN YOUR GIANT SUV!!!) and i laughed my ass off and got chills at most of them. dude rules. here's a youtube "best of" tribute. enjoy.


my favorite call ever, When Herschel Walker scored his first touchdown as a freshman against Tennessee in 1980. "He’s running over people! He just ran right through two men...My God, a freshman."

They Really Are Coming To My City

so Gameday is gonna be in Athens this weekend for the Bama game. it's a blackout, which means DOOM for the Tide. me and my Bama loving friend KennieBloggins will find ourselves possibly hungover as shit looking for rednecks to tailgate with and people with hilarious signs taunting Corso to stand next to and heckle the Herbiebot and his mascot wearing co-host. my goal will be to meet Desmond Howard and pretend i think he is Rocket Ismail. if anyone would like to join us let me know.

The NFLs Week 3: All Ya'll Haters Can Kiss Ronnie Brown's Black Ass

-i don't care if they are my fantasy defense, watching Ronnie Brown destroy the fucking Patriots on Sunday was awesome. was it the best performance by a former Auburn player in one game ever? maybe, i mean i give the edge to Bo for one of those 90 yards runs he was famous for, but good god, Ronnie...i never knew you had that in you. Why didn't Tommy just play you at QB? this makes me happier than any Falcons win ever could. i guess all those douchebags who play fantasy football that were saying you were done and overrated can eat a nice big bag of dicks. War Eagle Ronnie! you are the king of the NFL for a week.

-in other former Auburn player news, Jason Campbell continues to look like an actual NFL QB for the 2nd week in a row. War Eagle Jason...you Lionel Richie lookin' boy you.

-last week's king Jay Cutler is on his quest to make the Titans and Cardinals loathe the last names Leinart and Young, as The Broncos won another shoot out over the Saints to go to 3-0. sure they can't play any defense, but right now you have to say that the Broncos are one of the top 3 offenses in the league. Wilford Brimley is stoked for you Jay.

-if the Falcons could only play the Bengals, The 49ers, The Browns, and The Rams then they might be a playoff team

-oh, the Raiders...so close...yet so far way.

-The Cowboys still look like the NFL's best team. The Eagles are #2 till McNabb gets hurt around week 7 and then they are fucked from there.

Eazy E is not pleased with this bullshit

Eazy E wants to put a cap in the Thug Apologist's ass this week.

so my Fantasy Team turned into my Nightmare Team this Sunday. Right now we find ourselves down 81-28. at one point yesterday we were down 50-2. yeah, we suck.

sure we've still got Favre, Chris Chambers, and Antonio Gates on the bench...but yeah, it's fucking over. Thug Apologists are set to be 1-2 on the year. FUCK! is it possible to have a worse producing backfield then the one we are currently working with? my boy DMac, The Chosen One To Save My Beloved Raiders, stunk it up with just 4 damn fantasy points. and J. Lewis is proving to be the piece of trash i feared he'd turn into. Fuck the Browns. why didn't i just draft Michael Turner for godsake? The Patriots defense got brutally raped by Ronnie Brown and the Dolphins...but mostly Ronnie Brown and put a big fucking -7 on the scoreboard for The Thugs.

And don't even get me started on Romo. Where do you get only throwing to T.O. twice? T.O. needs his touches you fucking lucky douchebag. he made you! and this is how you repay him?! worst of all little Stevie Slaton and Fred Taylor blew up last sunday and we had them on the bench. goddamn it! i hate fantasy football.

College Football Pick 'Em: Week 5

THURSDAY SEPT. 25
1:USC @ OREGON ST- USC

FRIDAY SEPT 26
2;CONNECTICUT @ LOUISVILLE- L'Ville
SATURDAY SEPT 27
3: MINNESOTA @ OHIO STATE- OSU
4:MARYLAND @ CLEMSON- Clemson
5:VIRGINIA @ DUKE- Duke (yep i am picking Duke to win a game)
6:UNC @ MIAMI (FL)- The U
7:NORTHWESTERN @ IOWA- Iowa
8: TCU @ OKLAHOMA- Oklahoma
9: UAB @ SOUTH CAROLINA- South Carolina
10:TROY @ OKLAHOMA ST- Ok St
11: MISSISSIPPI ST @ LSU- LSU
12: SOUTH FLORIDA @ NORTH CAROLINA ST.- USF
13:ALABAMA @GEORGIA- UGA
14:ILLINOIS @ PENN ST- Penn State
15: VIRGINIA TECH @ NEBRASKA- Nebraska
16: OLE MISS @ FLORIDA- Florida
17:ARMY @ TEXAS A&M- A&M
18:ARKANSAS @ TEXAS- Texas
19: WISCONSIN @ MICHIGAN- Wisconsin
20: TENNESSEE @ AUBURN- Auburn
21: FRESNO ST @ UCLA- Fresno
22: COLORADO @ FSU- Colorado
23: PURDUE @ NOTRE DAME- Purdue
24: NAVY @ WAKE FOREST- Wake Forest
25: STANFORD @ WASHINGTON- Washington
TIEBREAKERS (TOTAL POINTS:
A: BAMA @ UGA- 48
B: TENNESSEE @ AUBURN- 35
C:TCU @ OKLAHOMA- 70

Black Out 2: Electric Boogaloo

Another blackout! Bama better run for the hills. better yet, don't even get off the bus. them Black Jersey's will get you.

will UGA play "Soulja Boy" all night as well?

okay yes i am bitter. i won't lie. i really wish Auburn would have crushed the Georgia forcing Richt to burn those damn black jerseys for their crimes against the Dawgs...but instead it seems to get the UGA players and fans pumped, so what do i care? maybe it's just the traditionalist in me. or maybe it's the fact the i think Georgia's red uniforms are awesome and that those black jerseys make them look like a highschool team. but whatever it's happening again. my only question is when is Richt gonna retire this before it becomes old hat? well regardless of what i think, Nike is happy as shit and selling the fuck out of those Black #24s.

Fucknuts McWhitey and Them Falcons Ride Again

The cruelest cocktease of all time continues as the Atlanta Falcons absolutely mugged, shot, stabbed, harvested the organs and sold them online, sucked the marrow from the bones of the Kansas City Chiefs (who aren't just the worst team in football, but may very well be the worst team possible) in 38-14 blowout that wasn't even that close.

Ryan stayed in the under 20 passes range going 12/18 with 192 yards and 1 touchdown. Michael Turner continued to make me pay for drafting Jamall Lewis over him in my fantasy league by rushing for 104 yards and 3 touchdowns. Roddy White had himself a pretty nice game as well with 119 yards receiving, a touchdown, and a back flip. and Jerrious Norwood continued to put up solid backup numbers with 75 rushing and 30 receiving.

Are the Falcons for real? hell no. are they totally unstoppable against really shitty teams as long as they are playing in the Dome? well, i'd have to give that one a big fucking YES!!! if only we could somehow be in the NFC West then this might be an 8-8 playoff team. unfortunately this was the last easy game until we face the Raiders...and who knows what sort of ball of insanity may occur when my two favorite dysfunctional franchises face off out in Oakland?

regardless, this is some encouraging shit....even if the real losing is about to start hardcore with the Panthers, Bears, Packers, and Eagles all coming up next. it was fun while it lasted though.

Auburn Dynasty Mode: Week 4

Auburn and LSU. EA Sports has them ranked #15 and #5. the two best defenses in college football, video game or otherwise. if there's one thing i know about playing those Bayou Bengals it's that they aren't gonna be givin' up many yards on the ground and their defensive backs are killers.

and so it was, this game was a complete and total defensive stand for the 1st 3 quarters of the game. LSU refused to let me run the ball holding Auburn to 30 yards rushing in the first half. whenever i tried to take off on QB sneaks with Kodi Burns i was usually met by a defensive end or a safety and lit up. if i tried to throw deep they made me pay as well, Burns had 2 picks in the first half and just 80 yards passing total. offense was a nonfactor. neither team could get any momentum. both trips to the redzone for Auburn resulted in turnovers. LSU on the other hand couldn't even get the ball past the 50 yard line. both sides were sack crazy. Auburn getting 9 in all against Andrew Hatch including 4 from Antonio Coleman. after 3 quarters of play we were all tied up at 0-0.

then finally i was able to make something happen. on a 4th down play at the start of the 4th quarter i faked the option before dropping back and bombing a 40 yard strike to Montez Billings, who beat his defender and took it in for a touchdown. LSU quickly responded with a 60 yard kick return by Trindon Holliday, this was followed by a bomb pass to Brandon LaFell to get the ball down to the 10, but Auburn's defense stepped it up by sacking Hatch twice inside the 10 and forcing LSU to kick a field goal.

when i got the ball back on the next possession i wasted no time sending Brad Lester out of the backfield on a deep route and launching it to him for a huge 50+ yard gain. then on the very next play from 20 yards out i lined up five receivers and took off running for a touchdown with Kodi Burns giving me a 14-3 lead.


LSU was able to take the ball down the field one more time and scored a touchdown but failed to get the 2 point conversion making it 14-9. then after recovering the oneside kick attempt i ran out the clock with Brad Lester and Kodi Burns, with Lester taking if for a 15 yard touchdown in the closing seconds to put the nail in LSU's coffin 21-9.

now if only reality had worked out so well.