The cruelest cocktease of all time continues as the Atlanta Falcons absolutely mugged, shot, stabbed, harvested the organs and sold them online, sucked the marrow from the bones of the Kansas City Chiefs (who aren't just the worst team in football, but may very well be the worst team possible) in 38-14 blowout that wasn't even that close.
Ryan stayed in the under 20 passes range going 12/18 with 192 yards and 1 touchdown. Michael Turner continued to make me pay for drafting Jamall Lewis over him in my fantasy league by rushing for 104 yards and 3 touchdowns. Roddy White had himself a pretty nice game as well with 119 yards receiving, a touchdown, and a back flip. and Jerrious Norwood continued to put up solid backup numbers with 75 rushing and 30 receiving.
Are the Falcons for real? hell no. are they totally unstoppable against really shitty teams as long as they are playing in the Dome? well, i'd have to give that one a big fucking YES!!! if only we could somehow be in the NFC West then this might be an 8-8 playoff team. unfortunately this was the last easy game until we face the Raiders...and who knows what sort of ball of insanity may occur when my two favorite dysfunctional franchises face off out in Oakland?
regardless, this is some encouraging shit....even if the real losing is about to start hardcore with the Panthers, Bears, Packers, and Eagles all coming up next. it was fun while it lasted though.
MICHAEL TURNER!!!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I TAKE YOU IN MY FANTASY LEAGUE OVER JAMMAL LEWIS!?!?!
okay, calm down.
Breathe.
alright, anyways The Falcons looked fucking good yesterday. i was just as surprised as anyone. only Griggs would have faith in a team like Atlanta coming into this year. but after yesterday i might want to retract my 1 win proclamation. the Falcons look like are totally a 7 or 8 win team this year...especially with a schedule that includes the AFC West. Michael Turner and Jerious Norword are as lethal a runningback duo in the NFL and suddenly the offensive line understands the concept of blocking. do you believe in miracles? YES!!! Turner and his huge legs will plow through defenders like paper and Norwood makes the most of all his touches with the homerun threat always there. and i think Mike Smith made it very clear that Atlanta is gonna be modeled after Jacksonville. this is gonna be a running team 1st and if the results are like they were on Sunday, expect Turner to be one of the league leaders this year. Matt Ryan couldn't have started an NFL career any better. 1st pass, boom! 62 yards! touchdown! RETIRE HIS JERSEY! HALL OF FAME! MIKE WHO? ok okay...seriously dude, calm the fuck down. Ryan looked as good as a rookie QB could in his first ever start. going 9/13 for 161 yards and the 1 long TD. granted he made a couple of stupid passes in the 2nd half that hit Lions defenders in the hands and should've been picks, but still Ryan really just needs to be a game manager as long as the running game is working.
okay, i am a realist. i know that this game was at home, vs. the Lions...who obviously are gonna suck this year like all years. i was impressed that the Falcons midget corners were able to do as well as they did against Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams. the pass rush was excellent, if Abraham can stay healthy then maybe he can Defend the Dome all year. i still think this team is 3 players away from being solid on D. we need a run stuffing tackle, a dynamic playmaker in the secondary, and someone to replace Keith Brooking's old ass....hopefully Lofton can be that guy.
the offense is young and could be really explosive with Norwood and Turner smashing faces and Jenkins and White finally showing why they were high picks after all these years. Harry Douglas really gets me excited with his potential in the slot running reverses and making plays in open space. granted Ryan is gonna struggle, especially in games when the Falcons are behind more than a touchdown and he's forced to throw more than 13 times...but Fucknuts McWhitey might just be worth all that damn money after all...probably not though.
man, that was the best i've felt about a Falcons win since they waxed the Rams in the playoffs. now just 15 more weeks of disappointment to go.
so apparently it takes an act of god to stop the Crimson Tide. Bama has been on a tear to close out their season, knocking off Vandy to end the regular season and then completely destroying Florida in the SEC Tournament. last night they were in overtime trying to eliminate Mississippi State when a fucking tornado hit the Georgia Dome, knocking off some pieces and scaring the shit out of everybody inside. after about an hour long delay the game resumed and the Tide lost. tough luck Bama. see you in the NIT.
as far as the Dome goes, this is what we like to call a sign from God. it's time to tear that piece of shit down and build a new state of the art facility outside the city limits. you can't bring fans to see the Falcons play with the shitty team they are fielding, so you might as well give us a bunch of fancy bells and whistles to keep the people distracted from the horrible football you are pushing.
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