Friday, May 30, 2008

Positive Vibe Fridays: Praise For the Song Girls

USC are a bunch of cheating ass cheaters who pay their players and should be getting the death penalty!!!!...or at least that's what the raging SEC Homer inside me thinks, in all honestly they just get away with a little more than they would if their school took up residency somewheres in these here southern states. which was all the more surprising when ESPN jumped all over them after the OJ Mayo thing (and Reggie Bush too) and started screaming for probabtion for both sports programs. does Pete Carrol need to remind you guys who helps pay the bills over at ABC? you work for the Mouse and the Mouse is totally a Trojans fan. nobody wants to watch UCLA in the Rose Bowl. but all that being said, we must all bow down to the supremacy of the USC Song Girls. never has a cheerleader skirt and a sweater been so goddamn hot.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

there's a special place in hell for those who came up with the BCS

so the BCS is ten and every body's jacking off about how much better things are, flawed system or not, blah fucking blah. i love how all the writers at ESPN have been screaming for a playoff and then write these glowing pieces on how much better thing are since the BSC has arrived...granted i guess it's better that we have a match up of fictional number one vs. number twos than a bunch of random bowl match ups and then leave it up to the sportswriters (we all know how fair and objective they can be)...but still in the ten years since the BCS was invented how many times have they actually gotten in right? as far as i can tell just twice. in 2005 with Texas and USC and in 2002 with Ohio State and Miami. other than that it's been clusterfuck after glorious clusterfuck. 2004 Auburn being shutout and Oklahoma being beaten like a red headed step child by USC. Nebraska getting into the title game after getting blown out by Colorado and not winning the Big 12 and then getting murdered by Miami. Oklahoma getting blown out by Kansas State in the Big 12 title game and still getting into the BCS championship game which resulted in the number 1 team in the country, USC, being shut out of the title game?!?! fail. fail. fail. fail. and let's not even get into the poor bowl matchups we've gotten the last few years (which really is more about the Bowls picking bad games instead of the BCS screwing things up). all in all 10 years is enough time for us all to know that this shit is broke and you can't use the greatest college football game of all time (USC vs. Texas in the Rose Bowl) as your argument for keeping such a horribly flawed and fucked up system that rewards preseason poll position and soft schedules (hello Ohio State) instead of matching up the best teams in college football. whatever, fuck it. shit is never gonna change. might as well stop bitching about it.

Does Buying This Shirt Make Me An Idiot?

so Chip and Pepper make these fake vintage college football t-shirts that they sell on their website for 42 dollars. does it make me a douchebag that i am totally willing to buy a 42 dollar t-shirt just because it looks cool?

if you wanna be a jackass and buy an overpriced t-shirt of your favorite college football team just go here and check it out.

All Our Runningbacks Are Dumber Than Shit

as is usually the case with any recruiting class there are a number of players who don't qualify to play Division I college football. this is why prep schools like Hargrove Academy exist and why we have junior colleges. this year for Auburn is no exception with both of our top runningback recruits needing some extra schoolin' to get those grades up to par. oh well, so much for Onterrio McCalebb and Reggie Hunt for 2008...not that we needed the depth or anything. hopefully these guys don't pull an Enrique Davis (Auburn's RB super recruit from a year ago) and bolt for another school after a year spent trying to qualify. the good news is Auburn already signed a 4 star recruit for the 2009 season named Rodney Scott (ranked the number 5 all-purpose back in the country)...let's just hope the kid knows how to read and can get into school because we ARE gonna need some backs next year with Brad Lester and Tristan Davis moving on after this season.

When The Fuck Are The NBA Finals Gonna Hurry Up and Start?

seriously, at the beginning of these here NBA playoffs...which seem to have started 3 years ago...i was really excited about the whole thing. hell even the Hawks showed up in the first round and gave us 3 amazing games in Atlanta. but since then this thing has been dragging along and at this point i don't even care anymore. just hurry up and give the networks their fucking Celtics vs. Lakers matchup and then let's move on to more important things like football.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Nerd Alert

some player ratings have leaked out for the upcoming edition of NCAA Football 2009.
here's the top 7 players on Auburn.

#94=SEN’DERRICK MARKS rated 95

#44=BEN TATE rated 90

#59=CHRIS EVANS rated 90

#1=BRAD LESTER rated 89

#52=ANTONIO COLEMAN rated 89

#80=ROD SMITH rated 88

#8=JERRAUD POWERS rated 87

Gettin' The Fever

the Pre-Season college football mags are hittin' the racks and i already picked up the 2008 Lindy's and Athlon. my Auburn Tigers are gettin' some love. they are ranked by both ESPN and Athlon in the top 10 and picked to win the SEC West...which seems like a good choice now that a certain someone is playing Division IAA instead of taking snaps for LSU. Lindy's still likes The Bayou Bengals over Auburn, my guess is they didn't get the news that Perrilloux wasn't gonna be in Baton Rouge this fall before it hit the presses. i'm still waiting for the MAN, Mr. Phil Steele, to grace us all with his massive college football knowledge...but that'll have to wait until sometime in June. the man has a lot to say and it can't be rushed out like these slick glossy mags who all basically give you the exact same info. anyways, the polls are all over the place as far as ranking the top 5, but it's pretty much a combination of USC, UGA, Florida, Ohio State, and Oklahoma in different orders. i'll wait to read Phil's take on the upcoming season before i compile my own pointless and poorly thought out Pre-Season rankings. so anyways, go buy a preseason magazine so we have something to talk and debate about at the bar while we are getting drunk.

Friday, May 23, 2008

An Open Letter To Two Rich Assholes

Dear George Lucas and Steven Spielberg,

my name is justin robinson and i have a bone to pick. first off let me go ahead and thank both of you for my awesome childhood. you guys were as a much a part of me growing up as anything else. you helped entertain and expand my imagination like no two other people in Hollywood as either the director or producer of ET, Star Wars, Close Encounters, Goonies, Back To The Future, Gremlins, and countless other films, hell even Willow was awesome...but above them all sat one man, Indiana fucking Jones. the greatest character in movie history....and now you've gone and fucked with that. in your old age you guys have both lost whatever spark once brought us all such joy. it was bad enough that you completely ruined Star Wars, but Indiana Jones?!?! that's unfuckingforgivable. the new Jones' adventure is beyond all things silly, kinda boring, and not that much fun. not to mention Cate Blanchett totally sucks every second she's on the screen and the overwhelming amount of obvious greenscreen takes all the thrill out of almost every action sequence. and don't get me started on the "treasure". i got one word for your new movie, LAME. okay, maybe i'm being a little too harsh. it's honestly not a terrible's just not nearly as awesome as Iron Man, or the Bourne Movies, or a lot of other recent action movies i've seen that i don't have nearly the emotional attachments to. i guess the word LAME should be changed to DISAPPOINTING...but then again, i should have learned my lesson from you guys a long time ago. it's about making money, not making awesome movies.

so yeah, thanks a lot for fucking with my childhood again. you guys are a bunch of out of touch douchebags and Spielberg should stick to the one genre he still does well, World War II movies. Lucas should just stay away from every creation he's ever come up with because he just turns them to shit. whatever, fuck you guys.

your pal,


Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Weird Thing Happened Last Night While I Was Watching The NBA Playoffs...

...i found myself rooting for the fucking LA Lakers. that's the first time I've done that since Magic Johnson retired. it wad like i was rooting for the damn Yankees or Cowboys, i felt dirty and cheap. this is just proof of how much i hate watching the Spurs play basketball ball that i would root for any team coached by Phil Jackson that calls Kobe Bryant it's star player and resides in the city of Los Angeles and isn't the Clippers. i call it a product of global warming. it's really the only way to explain selling out my values that quickly. whatever Kobe was amazing last night and it was awesome to watch the Spurs choke a game away. it was like seeing Tom Brady throw an interception in a key moment of a game that leads to a Patriot loss, shit just doesn't happen often enough and you must savor those moments like the sweet treats that they are.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

NBA Lottery will make you dumber if you watch it

seriously, ESPN's coverage of the Draft Lottery is some painful shit to watch, there were more odd and embarrassing moments than your average episode of the Office.

hmmm...not that the NBA isn't full of conspiracies but seriously how do the Bulls end up winning the draft lottery? i'm always a little skeptical about one of the league's flagship franchises winning the lottery when they were supposed to be a playoff team coming into this season. i mean all it would take would be to add either Derek Rose or Michael Beasley to the Bulls and they are right back in the mix in the Eastern Conference. i mean the Wizards, Sixers, and Hawks shouldn't be that hard to overtake. but then again my theory has a giant hole when you take into account that the Knicks should've won one of these past few lotteries.

whatever, the real losers are the Timberwolves. fuck, you gotta feel for them. they trade away K.G. and they are down to the final three. you could get Beasley or Rose and the new face of your franchise for the next ten years and what happens? get pick number 3, likely to be Brook Lopez...aka the Christian Laettner of this draft. oh well, sucks for you.

6 years, 72 Million Dollars

6 years, 72 million dollars. did we get a new offensive line for that?

6 years, 72 million dollars. for a rookie quarterback. Jesus.


6 FUCKING YEARS, 72 MILLION FUCKING AMERICAN (thank god it wasn't canadian money) DOLLARS!!!! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!

i hate you Falcons.

i mean seriously, the guy makes more money than Tom fucking Brady. didn't the Falcons hire Tom Dimitroff from the Patriots hoping he'd use some of those famous Pats front office smarts to build us a winner? and what has he done but throw a shit ton of money at a career backup runningback and a rookie qb. it would be fucking funny if it wasn't so goddamn sad.

but seriously the NFL needs a fucking rookie salary cap the same way the NBA has one. if you sign a top 5 pick who is a quarterback your franchise is completely fucked unless you've already got some talent on your team (which the Falcons did a good job of getting rid of in the off season). so yeah, i hope Matt Ryan enjoys counting all that cash while the Falcons come in last place the next six years.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

fucking Spurs

big surprise, the Spurs beat the Hornets. so now we've got LA, San Antonio, Boston, and Detriot. i'm sure David Stern has a raging boner for this final four. of course the TV people want a Celtics vs. Lakers match up and on the flip side, the worst case scenario as far as the league is concerned would be Spurs vs. Pistons and a bunch of 80 point games and zero viewers watching the yeah, expect a lot of questionable calls in the Eastern and Western finals to get that dream matchup of Gold vs. Green. whatever, i have already lost interest in this bullshit. wake me up when College Football starts.

Monday, May 19, 2008


beat the fucking Spurs and spare us all from another NBA Finals matchup featuring the Big Fundamental. cuz you know the Spurs will take out LA.



thank you for my 600 dollar check you sent me. i will be using this money to help the economy by buying a PS3 and then playing nothing but NCAA Football 2009 when it comes out on June 17th.

your pal justin.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Tits and Football

so Auburn's star defensive tackle and likely top 10 pick in next year's NFL Draft, Sen'Derrick Marks, was named as a member of the 2008 Playboy All American team. way to go big fella. other notable SEC players named to this year's team were Andre Smith of Alabama, Knowshon Moreno of UGA, Kenny McKinnley of South Carolina, Tyson Jackson of LSU, and Michael Oher of Ole' Miss. some other big names: Pat White was named the QB, George Selvie of USF was named as one of the DE's, three USC players were named to the team in Taylor Mays, Brian Cushing, and Rey Maualuga. and Texas Tech's superstar wideout Michael Crabtree was also honored. i have no idea who else is on the team, guess i'll have to buy the issue.

Positive Vibes Friday

it's been a week without sports, it's been a week without thoughts, and it's been a week of healing, we'll keep it that way for now and just post a random Black Flag video instead of some random moment in the world of sports that made me feel good for five minutes....besides, we're gonna have a tv party tonight!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Don't Call It A Comeback

sorry for all the lack of blogging. i know the five people who read this probably all drifted away considering i have been very unproductive the last couple of weeks. blame it on a strong case of being sick as fuck and then overall laziness and disinterest in the world of sports. i'm resigning myself to another Spurs finals...more than likely against the Pistons and it's just all too much to stomach. i'm pretty sure these are not the playoffs that David Stern had in mind following such a great regular season. oh but wait, is it possible that the Hornets are gonna rescue us from Tim Duncan (aka the Big Fundamental) and his band of role playing veterans? will fun reign supreme in these trying times? Oh Chris Paul, why couldn't you be a Hawk? regardless i was so stoked about these playoffs a few weeks ago and now i could honestly care less. as long as the Lakers and Celtics don't play one another for the title and as long as San Antonio loses to New Orleans then it doesn't really matter to me who wins.

in the world of baseball the Braves continue to lose one run games and Chipper continues to hit .400. i read somewhere that the Tampa Bay Rays are in first place...but that obviously must have been some kind of error.

The Falcons had their little mini-camp. i still haven't woken from the Matt Ryan nightmare, so i guess that really did happen.

ESPN released a very very very early top 25. they've got Ohio State ranked number 1 and UGA ranked number 2 with Oklahoma, USC, and Florida rounding out their top 5. my Auburn Tigers sit at number 10 and are predicted to win the SEC West thanks to you know who. some of the more questionable picks in their mock top 25, Texas Tech at 11? really? BYU at 14? and Pitt, Fresno State, and Michigan State all ranked? anyways i'm just ready for this bullshit to get started. how many days until August 30th?

Friday, May 9, 2008

Still Ill

sick sick sick sick so fucking sick. still sick after a damn week. which has resulted in no blogging and awhole lot of watching the Wire.

the doc has me on 'roids to fight it. so hopefully my jump shot and fast ball will improve after this illness is gone.

sorry for the lack of blogging, but i was a man down this week.

Monday, May 5, 2008

While I Was Dying From The Cough And Getting Pink Eye...

...The Hawks went and got their asses kicked in game 7...which is to say, GAME FUCKING SEVEN!!! who'd have ever thought that of all the 1st round series, the only one that went 7 games was Atlanta vs. Boston? not fucking many. oh well, good run Hawks. you gave the city of Atlanta a week long distraction of how shitty our sports teams are.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Positive Vibes Friday: Nix To Sanders

Nix to Sanders. what a fucking combo.

beating Bama.

beating Florida.


our Hero, Ryan Perrilloux, got his butt kicked off the LSU team cuz he got busted smokin' that weed. coming out of highschool, Perrilloux was considered the number 1 QB prospect in the country and was thought of as the next Mike Vick...oh how right they were. it's a sad day for LSU fans and a happy one for everybody else. go ahead and crank that Western Division title Auburn fans. we got this shit.

Thursday, May 1, 2008


so what happened while we were in a state of fever, hacking our lungs out?

apparently all the pussy ass conferences (aka Pac 10, Big 12, Big East, Big 10, and Notre Dame) shot down and killed both a possible plus 1 and 4 team playoff and elected to keep the BCS as it is until 2014, when those same bunch of assholes will vote to keep it like it is for another 8 years or so. FUCK THE ROSE BOWL, FUCK THE PAC 10, FUCK THE BIG 10 (11), and FUCK NOTRE DAME. the Big East is just trying to protect it's ass because it knows it would never make a 4 team playoff and i don't really know what the Big 12's deal is. whatever, with the current format, expect to keep seeing Ohio State ending up in National Title Games every year or so being trounced by some 11-2 or 12-1 SEC team.