Thursday, September 27, 2012
so yeah Beyond The Black Rainbow is weird as fuck, doesn’t make a lick of sense, looks really cool, has an awesome soundtrack, and is something i totally enjoyed. if you like Kevin James movies this is probably not your thing....but if you enjoy dark oddball sci-fi movies from the 70s and early 80s or you do a lot of drugs then check it out.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Auburn's defense shows up and plays its ass off only to be fucked over and over again by a completely useless offense with an inept quarterback who at this point should not be out on the field. Kiehl Frazier really is a dual threat QB. He either throws an interception or he holds on to the ball for too long and takes a stupid sack. I wish that joke was funnier than it is just sadly accurate. I don't know if I have ever seen a quarterback who looked so lost and so hopelessly overmatched than Kiehl looks every time the ball is in his hands. It is time the coaches made a change and put the freshman Wallace out there. At least the kid is a good runner. Who knows if he can pass. Who cares? Anything has to be an upgrade to whatever the hell Frazier is doing. I am fine with Quan Bray being converted back to a QB. Just do something. Anything. Fucking hell. A defensive performance like last night deserves more.
So what can you take away from last night? Well, Auburn did play with heart and gave the #2 team in the country a scare. And with the way Arkansas has completely given up on their season I would imagine Auburn has a pretty good chance of knocking off the Razorbacks in their next game. If Auburn wants to go bowling this season they are gonna have to win games against the other SEC bottom dwellers. Arkansas seems like the Tigers best chance. Vandy doesn't look so hot either. Ole Miss actually has me a little worried. Not that they have beaten anyone, but they did demolish Tulane and Auburn hasn't demolished anything other than my will to live.
The Season Without A Chance marches on. Tune in next week for more rage and sorrow.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
At what point is it okay for me to start wanting Auburn to fire Gene Chizik? Because if we are honest with ourselves that Cam Newton is the greatest football player in the history of time and space and that anyone could've won the national title with him as their QB then we must start to be honest that Gene is a terribly meidocre football coach that does NOTHING with his supposed collection of highly rated talent. It's like Auburn has turned into FSU with it's constantly underperforming teams. And it isn't like I have any faith that is suddenly gonna change in the next few years. Yeah Auburn is young...but that was their excuse last year. Yeah Auburn switched their offensive scheme...but that was our head coach's bright idea because he wants to copy what LSU and Alabama are doing despite having 4 recruiting classes of guys that are a fit for the spread. Ughhh...I hate that I have turned into one of those maniacs who calls for the firing of his favorite team's headcoach after every game but I am just being honest. This is the guy NONE of us were happy about getting and now 4 years later I think we were right.
Someone fuel up the jet. It is time to bring Bobby Petrino to town. He can bang all the coeds/assistants/secretaries/cheerleaders he wants for all I care. God I am the worst kinda football fan.... War Eagle, you bastards. Now it is time for the real ass kickings to begin.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
|never pass again.|
ULM's QB Kolton Browning (what is with all the stupid K names? parents of children that were born in the 90s are the fucking worst.) torched Arkansas for 412 yards and 3 touchdowns. what have you seen in the last 2 games that makes you think Auburn is going to do anything to stop that from happening to the Tigers shitastic secondary? unless the defensive line suddenly becomes possessed by the spirits of Quentin Groves or Nick Fairley i don't imagine Browning will have much trouble getting near those stats again. so let's just go ahead and assume the Warhawks are gonna drop at least 21 points on Auburn....how are the Tigers planning on matching that? we've scored all of 1 touchdown this season and that was nearly a lifetime ago in the devolution of Kiehl Frazier: Turnover Machine. a Quarterback with 1 more touchdown pass in his two years at Auburn than i do. so passing for scores isn't gonna be anything i would put money on. so how are the Tigers going to get points? one assumes that Auburn will do whatever they can to just run it down ULM's throat and since they're a Sun Belt team one also assumes that Auburn will have an advantage of size on the lines...but whenever the rushing attack has been working we've been treated to either a dumb penalty or the sudden need to let Frazier attempt forward passes. if i was the coaching staff i am not attempting a single pass that isn't some short screen unless the runningbacks and defense have gained AT LEAST a 3 score lead. just run run run run run run run run like it's 1982 and everyone's still running the wishbone. honestly if Auburn would like to just sit Frazier over on the sidelines and run the wildcat every single play i wouldn't fault them. seriously, no passing. if the Tigers employ this primitive strategy they might just win an actual football game. maybe.
i miss the days when cursing at Brandon Cox and face palming everytime he took a sack were my biggest issues as an Auburn fan.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Hello old friends, foes, loyal readers, and people who accidentally stumbled on to this long vacant piece of blogspot real estate. i have decided to bring this useless site back because whining on twitter just isn't the same. it takes a lot more than 140 characters for me to say Auburn Sucks And They Are Ruining My Fucking Life.
Following Auburn's 2010 BCS title season I felt like I had finally made peace with my long suffering Auburn Tigers fandom. Going into 2011 I knew it was going to be a tough season and there just wasn't anyway I had much to say or complain about while still basking in the afterglow of Cam Newton, Nick Fairley, and those 2010 Tigers. But it's been a long time since then in the world of college football and my rage and despair have returned to me with a vengeance.
2 weeks into the Auburn Tigers 2012 campaign and there aren't words to describe how I feel about this team....well maybe a few words... Unbelievably Shitty, Fucking Awful, Useless Motherfuckers, Worst Auburn Team Of My Motherfucking Lifetime. Those are some that come to mind. Sitting through 2 weeks of truly embarrassing performances by this version of Auburn is really more than my 34 year old heart can take. This bullshit ages me. How my father hasn't died rooting for this fucking team is beyond me. Even when they win a title there's no real fun to be had. Fuck it. What else am I gonna do with my life...watch soccer? Fuck that commie shit.
Anyways I've completely lost the point....oh yeah this year Auburn is going to suck in a way that I don't think I would've let myself imagine they could suck. I mean is Auburn on double secret probation? Cuz they seem like a team on probation. They sure as shit don't look like a team that's had 3 top 10 recruiting classes in a row. I understand that they are young...but I didn't realize they were also inept. I hope Gene Chizik sends Cam Newton a gift every single weekend to thank him for the job security that the Chiz currently enjoys...because without that handsome magical mountain of a QB's magical season Gene Chizik's seat would be on motherfucking fire right now. He and his staff might be able to recruit but they sure as shit can't coach. The linebackers can't tackle. The defensive backs can't cover. The linemen can't hold on to the other teams QB. And the offense is looking really fucking similiar to that shitty 2008 one that got Tommy Tuberville's big eared ass run out of town. BCS title or not, if this doesn't turn around quickly then ole' Chiz might start looking for some defensive coordinator work in his future. So why do we suck so bad? The lack of depth and the quality of Tuberville's pisspoor recruiting classes can't be blamed for the bullshit product we see out on the field. These are all Chizik's boys. I guess Gene has kicked one too many weed smoking 5 stars off the team than he should have. Maybe it was a terrible idea to run your offensive coordinator out of town so that you could get a boring pro style play caller in to town to NOT take advantage of all the spread ready talent you've been recruiting for 4 fucking years. No wonder our quarterback looks completely fucking lost on the field every time he touches the ball. Or maybe he just sucks. I am starting to think that may be the case. Cuz he sure as shit didn't look like he knew what the hell he was doing last season when he attempted a pass. He looks even less so this season without the benefit of sitting the bench behind that two headed beast of mediocrity that was Barrett Trotter and Clint Moseley. Speaking of Moseley, why not put him in the game? Is his shoulder that trashed? I guess Zeke Pike's dumbass should've been given another chance before the Chizik sent him packing. That moral high ground seems real nice until your only options are a deadarmed loser, a sophomore who looks like a fish out of water, and a true freshman who noone was recruiting. I feel bad for Blake and Lutz that their final years on the Plains that their draft stock is going to take huge hits because they don't have anyone to throw them the damn ball. For future reference to any Auburn coaches....DO NOT RECRUIT QUARTERBACKS FROM THE STATE OF ARKANSAS WHO HAVE STUPID FUCKED SPELLINGS OF THEIR FIRST NAMES. Those guys are coach killers.
|the head attached to this shirt is full of hate and rage.|