Showing posts with label losing at everything sucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label losing at everything sucks. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
What Happened One Night In America Is All You Ever Need To Know About Atlanta Sports
Where once there was a feeling of optimism and hope, now there is only despair. 30+ years or rooting for Atlanta sports teams has taught me one thing more than any, how it feels to fucking lose.
The Braves suffer yet another heartbreaking defeat in the post season and are now 18 years removed from winning a World Series. The 2013 squad were a team that renewed my interest and love in the Atlanta Braves. They are young, full of potential, had the most dominating bullpen in baseball, hit a shit load of homeruns, and were fun to watch most of the year....but like so many Braves teams that came before them all of the things they did well during the year vanished when it came crunch time. that Atlanta was able to hit 1 meaningless homerun against the the Dodgers after leading the NL in 4 baggers for the year is exactly what you would have expected to happen. having one of your most reliable relief pitchers give up what would be the game winning homerun just 6 outs away from pulling off an upset in LA and sending the series back to Atlanta with all the momentum in the Braves favor is exactly what you should have expected to happen. going home early again is exactly what you should have expected.
The Falcons have gone from a Super Bowl contender to a fucking disaster that will be lucky to win 6 games. Those 10 yards shy of winning the NFC seem 100s of yards away now. a trash heap offensive line, a useless defense, and some of the most boneheaded coaching moves you will ever see has sunk the 2013 season just 5 games in. there are so many negative things i could say about this Falcons team, but i am not gonna waste the blogspot space. the Falcons need major changes if they want to ever win a championship. in the NFL you have the shortest of windows and Atlanta's in closing fast.
2 franchises linked in geography and their ability to mutually let down their fanbase on a yearly basis. Let the yankees burn Atlanta to the ground again and let's just start all over.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
It's Over. Thanks For Nothing.
49-0. the 2nd biggest blow out in the history of the Iron Bowl. well that went about the way i thought it would. no matter the final score, Alabama could have put up 100 points today if they had wanted to. and so now after several grueling months this worthless miserable season is finally mercifully over. Auburn set several shameful records this year and no doubt 2012 will long be remembered as the worst Auburn team of our lifetime. there's just no way they can get any worse. they could never possibly play with less heart and i hope to god they could never be coached by more clueless people.
that Cam Newton was able to lead a team coached by these fools to a BCS title basically just solidifies his status as the greatest single season player in the history of NCAA football.
so what now? likely Gene Chizik will be fired some time in the next week or so. that is a given. but what will Auburn do after that? is a team that fires it's coach 2 years after winning a BCS title even able to lure an elite coach to take the job? and with so many other jobs open in the SEC where does Auburn really fall in line? i really don't know anymore. i never thought i would live so long to see Auburn as the laughing stock of the SEC. whatever, i have nothing to say that isn't being said by thousands of other Tigers fans everywhere. change is coming, i just hope this time it's change we can count on.
fuck off and die, 2012! War Eagle, forver.
Monday, November 12, 2012
R.I.P. Auburn Football, 1892-2012
It's all over but the firings. granted 2 weeks are left in this nightmare of a season that will conclude with what an only guess will be an epic blow out at the hands of Alabama but really the coaches, players, and fans are just looking forward to the moment the clock hits 0:00 on 2012 and the Gene Chizik era.
My experience watching the Tigers being annihilated on Saturday with my UGA grad/fan girlfriend was pretty telling. I didn't yell at the television once and she didn't have the heart to mock my lousy Tigers. I realized that my fandom has already gone through all the stages of grief about six times this year and now all I had was a feeling of complete and total apathy...my rage and sadness long having been extinguished by this pitiful and helpless excuse for an Auburn football team. Congratulations Auburn, you have 100% broken my Tiger loving spirit.
I knew I should have retired from watching college football after Wes Byrum's game winning field goal passed through the uprights nearly 2 years ago.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!!!!!!!!!
doing more harm than good since 2009 (convinced 2010 was some weird drug trip) |
please, just fucking fire him. and fire Jay Jacobs too. and put Pat Dye on a rocket and shoot it into space.
it's over. for real. nothing more to say. no more wasted time and effort and emotion. the Chizik era has given us the highest high and now it has given us the lowest low. this is not the guy who is gonna build Auburn back up. fire Gene Chizik today! give him his money and send him on his way.
War Eagle
Friday, October 12, 2012
Win or GTFO
![]() |
that was a LOOOOOOOONG time ago, bro. |
a question for the Auburn faithful: At this point with the season completely lost and just getting to a mediocre bowl game is the best this team can do, are you rooting for Auburn to keep losing and hoping it forces Jay Jacobs' hand and he fires Chizik? can you really root for Auburn to lose?
fuck it. just bury me up to my neck and cut off my ears and cover me in ants. it would be less painful than watching Auburn play football right now.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
The Gene Chizik Lose Explosion!
![]() |
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!! |
well that turned out basically the way you should have imagined it would turn out. after playing their hearts out vs. LSU and then going on a bye week and getting a team that looked like it had given up on it's season what would you have expected from Auburn? a victory? well that is because you are a fucking fool. why else did you choose to root for Auburn? probably the same reason as me. your father forced this curse upon you. whatever fuck it. the season is over. Auburn isn't going to win more than 4 games. UGA and Bama and probably Texas A&M are gonna crush the Tigers by about 40 points each. and i am just too emotionally drained to care anymore. Auburn is a joke. they are in the Kentucky and Vanderbilt category of SEC teams. easy wins for the top tier teams to pile up their stats against. our recruits are overrated. our play calling is awful. our coaches are inept. our team is shit. i just don't know what you can say after seeing something like today that is remotely positive.
at certain points i wondered to myself if Auburn is actually better off under Gene Chizik than they were in the later Tuberville seasons? none of those Tubby teams looked close to this clueless. sure i can't complain about 2010. but let's all just be honest and give that credit to our former offensive coordinator and our super human QB. Chizik was just along for the ride. so the countdown to the Chiz gettin' fired starts today. is he gonna hang on to his job this season? yeah...unless they do something insane like lose to New Mexico State or Alabama A&M. but you know that certain boosters are fueling up their private jets and looking longingly towards Bobby Petrino, Dana Holgorsen, and Gus Malzhan. but no, the Chiz has his job security....for one more year. but anything less than a 9 win season next year should end with a pink slip. i don't care what his fucking buy out is. he is paid to win football games...not whatever the hell he's doing this year.
Auburn won't be down forever, but it feels like we have fallen down and dark deep hole and gotten trapped under a giant boulder and we might need to gnaw some of our limbs off to escape.
War Eagle, you fuckers. i am getting drunk.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Is Auburn Ever Going To Win A Game Again?
![]() |
never pass again. |
ULM's QB Kolton Browning (what is with all the stupid K names? parents of children that were born in the 90s are the fucking worst.) torched Arkansas for 412 yards and 3 touchdowns. what have you seen in the last 2 games that makes you think Auburn is going to do anything to stop that from happening to the Tigers shitastic secondary? unless the defensive line suddenly becomes possessed by the spirits of Quentin Groves or Nick Fairley i don't imagine Browning will have much trouble getting near those stats again. so let's just go ahead and assume the Warhawks are gonna drop at least 21 points on Auburn....how are the Tigers planning on matching that? we've scored all of 1 touchdown this season and that was nearly a lifetime ago in the devolution of Kiehl Frazier: Turnover Machine. a Quarterback with 1 more touchdown pass in his two years at Auburn than i do. so passing for scores isn't gonna be anything i would put money on. so how are the Tigers going to get points? one assumes that Auburn will do whatever they can to just run it down ULM's throat and since they're a Sun Belt team one also assumes that Auburn will have an advantage of size on the lines...but whenever the rushing attack has been working we've been treated to either a dumb penalty or the sudden need to let Frazier attempt forward passes. if i was the coaching staff i am not attempting a single pass that isn't some short screen unless the runningbacks and defense have gained AT LEAST a 3 score lead. just run run run run run run run run like it's 1982 and everyone's still running the wishbone. honestly if Auburn would like to just sit Frazier over on the sidelines and run the wildcat every single play i wouldn't fault them. seriously, no passing. if the Tigers employ this primitive strategy they might just win an actual football game. maybe.
i miss the days when cursing at Brandon Cox and face palming everytime he took a sack were my biggest issues as an Auburn fan.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
A Lifetime Of Defeats Returns Not To Praise The Auburn Tigers, But To Bury Them
Hello old friends, foes, loyal readers, and people who accidentally stumbled on to this long vacant piece of blogspot real estate. i have decided to bring this useless site back because whining on twitter just isn't the same. it takes a lot more than 140 characters for me to say Auburn Sucks And They Are Ruining My Fucking Life.
Following Auburn's 2010 BCS title season I felt like I had finally made peace with my long suffering Auburn Tigers fandom. Going into 2011 I knew it was going to be a tough season and there just wasn't anyway I had much to say or complain about while still basking in the afterglow of Cam Newton, Nick Fairley, and those 2010 Tigers. But it's been a long time since then in the world of college football and my rage and despair have returned to me with a vengeance.
2 weeks into the Auburn Tigers 2012 campaign and there aren't words to describe how I feel about this team....well maybe a few words... Unbelievably Shitty, Fucking Awful, Useless Motherfuckers, Worst Auburn Team Of My Motherfucking Lifetime. Those are some that come to mind. Sitting through 2 weeks of truly embarrassing performances by this version of Auburn is really more than my 34 year old heart can take. This bullshit ages me. How my father hasn't died rooting for this fucking team is beyond me. Even when they win a title there's no real fun to be had. Fuck it. What else am I gonna do with my life...watch soccer? Fuck that commie shit.
Anyways I've completely lost the point....oh yeah this year Auburn is going to suck in a way that I don't think I would've let myself imagine they could suck. I mean is Auburn on double secret probation? Cuz they seem like a team on probation. They sure as shit don't look like a team that's had 3 top 10 recruiting classes in a row. I understand that they are young...but I didn't realize they were also inept. I hope Gene Chizik sends Cam Newton a gift every single weekend to thank him for the job security that the Chiz currently enjoys...because without that handsome magical mountain of a QB's magical season Gene Chizik's seat would be on motherfucking fire right now. He and his staff might be able to recruit but they sure as shit can't coach. The linebackers can't tackle. The defensive backs can't cover. The linemen can't hold on to the other teams QB. And the offense is looking really fucking similiar to that shitty 2008 one that got Tommy Tuberville's big eared ass run out of town. BCS title or not, if this doesn't turn around quickly then ole' Chiz might start looking for some defensive coordinator work in his future. So why do we suck so bad? The lack of depth and the quality of Tuberville's pisspoor recruiting classes can't be blamed for the bullshit product we see out on the field. These are all Chizik's boys. I guess Gene has kicked one too many weed smoking 5 stars off the team than he should have. Maybe it was a terrible idea to run your offensive coordinator out of town so that you could get a boring pro style play caller in to town to NOT take advantage of all the spread ready talent you've been recruiting for 4 fucking years. No wonder our quarterback looks completely fucking lost on the field every time he touches the ball. Or maybe he just sucks. I am starting to think that may be the case. Cuz he sure as shit didn't look like he knew what the hell he was doing last season when he attempted a pass. He looks even less so this season without the benefit of sitting the bench behind that two headed beast of mediocrity that was Barrett Trotter and Clint Moseley. Speaking of Moseley, why not put him in the game? Is his shoulder that trashed? I guess Zeke Pike's dumbass should've been given another chance before the Chizik sent him packing. That moral high ground seems real nice until your only options are a deadarmed loser, a sophomore who looks like a fish out of water, and a true freshman who noone was recruiting. I feel bad for Blake and Lutz that their final years on the Plains that their draft stock is going to take huge hits because they don't have anyone to throw them the damn ball. For future reference to any Auburn coaches....DO NOT RECRUIT QUARTERBACKS FROM THE STATE OF ARKANSAS WHO HAVE STUPID FUCKED SPELLINGS OF THEIR FIRST NAMES. Those guys are coach killers.
![]() |
the head attached to this shirt is full of hate and rage. |
Monday, October 10, 2011
all my teams suck again, as i remember them
That didn't take very long. Last year I got spoiled by a national title winning Auburn team and a Falcons squad that had the NFC's best record and the Braves were back in the playoffs with an exciting group of young players. 1 year later I have a young Auburn team that is gonna be lucky to win 7 games, a Falcons squad that looks fucking terrible and has me wanting them to blow up the franchise and start all over again, & the Braves collapse makes me wanna give up baseball for good.
Auburn I at least still believe in...well not this year's team, but I believe in them going forward...assuming Frazier actually figures out how to throw a football. (Please don't let him be Kodi Burns all over again.) Maybe QBs from Arkansas that spell their first names retardedly just aren't the way to go.
The Falcons I don't believe in AT ALL. This is season 4 of the Matt Ryan/Mike Smith era and this year's version of the Dirty Birds looks like the worst of the bunch. Turner is old. The offensive line is banged up and ineffective. Roddy White is dropping passes. Julio Jones was not worth all those goddamn draft picks. The defense is just fucking awful. And worst of all, Matt Ryan is exactly the QB I thought he was before Atlanta drafted him...aka average. You are not winning a Super Bowl with a guy who is just average. It is not happening. Not anymore. The days of Trent Dilfer being a championship QB are over. If you don't have one of the top 10 qbs in the league then you are fucked. Matt Ryan might not even be top 20 if you are being honest. Hell he would be the last QB I would draft out of his own division. Brees and Freedman are already better than Matty Ice and Cam Newton is the fucking future of the NFC South. Matt Ryan is Steve DeBerg. Why didn't they just suck one more year and then draft Matt Stafford?
The Braves are...ugghh who fucking cares? I hate baseball.
Auburn I at least still believe in...well not this year's team, but I believe in them going forward...assuming Frazier actually figures out how to throw a football. (Please don't let him be Kodi Burns all over again.) Maybe QBs from Arkansas that spell their first names retardedly just aren't the way to go.
The Falcons I don't believe in AT ALL. This is season 4 of the Matt Ryan/Mike Smith era and this year's version of the Dirty Birds looks like the worst of the bunch. Turner is old. The offensive line is banged up and ineffective. Roddy White is dropping passes. Julio Jones was not worth all those goddamn draft picks. The defense is just fucking awful. And worst of all, Matt Ryan is exactly the QB I thought he was before Atlanta drafted him...aka average. You are not winning a Super Bowl with a guy who is just average. It is not happening. Not anymore. The days of Trent Dilfer being a championship QB are over. If you don't have one of the top 10 qbs in the league then you are fucked. Matt Ryan might not even be top 20 if you are being honest. Hell he would be the last QB I would draft out of his own division. Brees and Freedman are already better than Matty Ice and Cam Newton is the fucking future of the NFC South. Matt Ryan is Steve DeBerg. Why didn't they just suck one more year and then draft Matt Stafford?
The Braves are...ugghh who fucking cares? I hate baseball.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
i can't believe i wasted a beautiful day watching that shitty football game
Ugggh. I guess Auburn finally ran out of Cam's magic pixie dust. Oh well. It has been so long since Auburn actually lost a game that I kinda forgot how bad it felt.
What can I say about this game? During the 1st quarter it looked Auburn was gonna run away with this game...but then a stupid punt return by Trevon Reed and a bad return by Tre Mason and suddenly Auburn's defense completely lost their momentum and Clemson just started scoring at will and that was pretty much it.
On offense Auburn got way too many players involved instead of just feeding Dyer over and over again until that stopped working. Mason shouldn't be getting any carries that aren't in junk time and McCalebb is best used as a secondary back. I get sick of him getting those wrap around handoffs that go for nothing. As for our QB...he is servicable at best. He misses so many wide open reads and is almost zero threat to run and he made two horrible throws into coverage. One that was dropped by the Clemson defender and other that killed any chance Auburn had at making a comeback. I have seen enough of him. Auburn's streak is over. They are not going to win the SEC West. Losing to Clemson basically means Auburn is probably a 6 or 7 win team at best. Play the goddamn highly rated Freshman QB and bench the guy who prob wouldn't start at Kentucky. I will never understand playing experience over talent.
The words I have for Auburn's shitty zone defense are just not worth uttering in case children find this site. Fuck Ted Rood. Thanks for being part of the title but I give most of that credit to Tracy Rocker. They can not stop anyone from doing anything and they make me want to die.
Uggh. Now I must go drink.
What can I say about this game? During the 1st quarter it looked Auburn was gonna run away with this game...but then a stupid punt return by Trevon Reed and a bad return by Tre Mason and suddenly Auburn's defense completely lost their momentum and Clemson just started scoring at will and that was pretty much it.
On offense Auburn got way too many players involved instead of just feeding Dyer over and over again until that stopped working. Mason shouldn't be getting any carries that aren't in junk time and McCalebb is best used as a secondary back. I get sick of him getting those wrap around handoffs that go for nothing. As for our QB...he is servicable at best. He misses so many wide open reads and is almost zero threat to run and he made two horrible throws into coverage. One that was dropped by the Clemson defender and other that killed any chance Auburn had at making a comeback. I have seen enough of him. Auburn's streak is over. They are not going to win the SEC West. Losing to Clemson basically means Auburn is probably a 6 or 7 win team at best. Play the goddamn highly rated Freshman QB and bench the guy who prob wouldn't start at Kentucky. I will never understand playing experience over talent.
The words I have for Auburn's shitty zone defense are just not worth uttering in case children find this site. Fuck Ted Rood. Thanks for being part of the title but I give most of that credit to Tracy Rocker. They can not stop anyone from doing anything and they make me want to die.
Uggh. Now I must go drink.
Friday, November 27, 2009
My Achy Breaky Heart has been broken.

i blame you Billy Ray, for reasons that only the two of us know about.
well that sucked. not in a 36-0 asskicking kinda way, but in a "hey we might really win this shit....oh wait nevermind, you suck!" kinda way, and honestly those are worse sometimes.

The One Armed Zombie did what he could to lead our Tigers to the promised land (not to mention doing a few things to make sure we didn't). and even on the final drive i still believed. but then of course hella shitty clock management pretty much killed that snowball's chance and we are left with a pit of despair at losing to our 3 biggest rivals for a second year in a row.
but i am happy that this Auburn team showed some pride. they refused to let Mark Ingram have his Heisman moment. they refused to be pushed around and dominated like last year. they held Bama outta the endzone on two short fields. they got after the QB. and if they just coulda kept Julio Jones in check a little more they might have just won the game. and so it goes.
going forward i see good things for Auburn. i believe in Gene Chizik. i believe his players want to win for him. i believe in the new staff and their ability to coach up an under talented team. if Auburn can hold on to their offensive guru for a few more seasons then we might actually see another Heisman winner on the Plains. next year we lose Todd, Tate, Trott, Coleman, and McFadden. hopefully Burns, Fannin, Thorpe, and Bynes can all step up and be the leaders they all were this year. hopefully next year Auburn can win a couple of these big rivalry games and start getting some payback in the SEC. i don't think it can happen...i believe it WILL happen.
also a random congrats to the One Armed Zombie for becoming Auburn's all time single season TD leader.
2009 isn't officially over. we've still got our bowl, but honestly nothing matters going forward. 8 wins and a bowl victory would be nice...especially for these seniors who've gone through so much the last 2 years. but right now all that matters is the future. a future that doesn't seem nearly as bleak as it did in 2008.
so War Damn Eagle everyone. and thank you Auburn 2009 for restoring some faith for this lifelong Auburn fan. you might have not been the best team of this decade, but you are easily one of my favorites.
Monday, November 16, 2009
I Need Some New Interests
Auburn loses, The Falcons lose.
but at least i got to see the Manning-bot beat this douchebag.

so who wants to bet me that the Colts go undefeated in the regular season and then lose to Chargers in the playoffs....AGAIN at home? it'll happen.
in random football related news: i am kinda shocked that Jon Gruden extended his deal with ESPN. i figured he was 1 and done with MNF and he'd be coaching the Redskins or Cowboys next year. i'm actually glad he's staying in the booth because this is the first time in memory that i've actually liked the Monday Night Football team.
but at least i got to see the Manning-bot beat this douchebag.

so who wants to bet me that the Colts go undefeated in the regular season and then lose to Chargers in the playoffs....AGAIN at home? it'll happen.
in random football related news: i am kinda shocked that Jon Gruden extended his deal with ESPN. i figured he was 1 and done with MNF and he'd be coaching the Redskins or Cowboys next year. i'm actually glad he's staying in the booth because this is the first time in memory that i've actually liked the Monday Night Football team.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
i'm full of sad
photographic evidence of me being shameful and wearing a UGA t-shirt cuz i thought it looked cool. i put a curse on the Tigers. i know it.

don't worry, i gave that shirt away to my girlfriend.
loss to Georgia for the 4th year in a row + hangover + not being able to find my keys = i'll be spending the rest of the morning listening to Nirvana's Unplugged record and Elliott Smith until the Falcons come on. being emo about football is retarded.

don't worry, i gave that shirt away to my girlfriend.
loss to Georgia for the 4th year in a row + hangover + not being able to find my keys = i'll be spending the rest of the morning listening to Nirvana's Unplugged record and Elliott Smith until the Falcons come on. being emo about football is retarded.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Fuck It! I'm done with football. i'll be drunk and you can go to hell.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
motherfucking piece of shit cocksucking asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey Lee Ziemba, go ahead and go pro buddy. i'd rather Auburn start a true freshman at left tackle next year than have to watch you gettin' false start penalties every fucking big drive for another fucking year. you fucking suck!
goddamnit i hate the Georgia Bulldogs more than i hate Stone Temple Pilots and Limp Bizkit combined.
to all my Georgia Bulldog loving friends, suck my dick. we are done, professionally.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
UGA gonna Floss They Capes

so my old man sends me lots of Auburn related junk that he finds on the internet and this is something i got this morning that made me giggle. this is written by a UGA fan about his own current distaste with how things are going for the Dawgs and it's full of the sort of self-loathing and mockery that i enjoy. i'd love to give credit to whoever wrote this but i haven't the slightest idea.
This is a rant to an Auburn fan asking about tickets to the game in Athens. I asked if I should try to get a ticket before I get to Athens....
"I think you should watch the first 5 min of the game from the bridge and
then get a ticket for $3. Here's how I see it shaking out:
- Georgia rushes onto the field w/ black capes this time. Yes, capes. Black
ones.
- Georgia wins toss. Defers to 2nd half. UGA captains skip and zig zag back
to the sideline to "floss they capes"
- UGA Kickoff out of the endzone (thank God)
- 5 play AU touchdown drive. B Evans gives up big play touchdown pass b/c he
stepped on his cape and fell down. Extra Point good.
Reshad Jones does the "Superman" dance off the field laughing the entire way.
- AU Kickoff 8 yards into endzone. We bring it out anyway because, hell,
we're wearing black capes. Tackled at the 12.
- 1st and 10: Toss sweep to Ealey (3yds - really 1, but he gets a bonus 2 for
the black eye patch he's wearing w/ his cape courtesy of Brandon Spikes).
- 2nd and 9: Cox throws ball 3 yards behind AJ's crossing route. AJ makes an
incredible catch as he dives back against his momentum and lays out
hoizontally. He was able to make the catch because he decided against
wearing the stupid f*cking black cape. 5 yard completion. Wait, called back due to the
first of twelve penalties we will have before halftime.
2nd and 19: Draw play to Richard Samuel. Enough said.
3rd and 16: Auburn sends 14 people after Cox. He makes an attempt to throw
the ball out of bounds, but steps on his cape which restricts his cannon of an
arm. His ball comes up 12 yards short of the sideline, but it's up in the
air so long that one of the 14 AU blitzers is able to get under it and haul
it to the endzone for another AU touchdown.
14-0 with 11:48 to go in the first quarter.
- You trade ticket w/ scalper for extra beer in your pocket. You pay him $3
for his cape. "
Monday, November 2, 2009
Fucking Shit Fuck

fucking Saints. the sympathy love ran out already. i hope you fuckers get relocated someday.
goddamn shit fuck cock suck motherfucking bastards!
i'm starting to have my doubts on Atlanta's playoff chances.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Season Of Death 2: Deathier

...bother showing up on saturdays if you are gonna just lay down and die. What the fuck happened to this team?
Zombie Todd's arm fell off. Little LightningBolt McCalebb can't do shit. Adams can't catch. Noone on the defense knows how to tackle. Noone on the line knows how to block....
And the motherfucking penalties make me so fucking crazy that I want to blow my fucking tv up.
Keep playing like this Auburn and who gives a shit if you go 6-6 and make a crappy bowl game? You'll just get beat by some lousy Conference USA team.
Again, fuck you Tommy Tuberville. Fuck you in your big fucking ears with an elephant dick.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
I Am Made Of Sad

football sucks.
i need a Falcons win today....bad.
the JR Suicide's Auburn Football Makes Me Wish I Was Into Soccer Instead Playlist
1. the MASH THEME (Suicide Is Painless)
2. Black Flag- Depression
3. The Beatles- Yer Blues
4. Buzzcocks- Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't Have Fallen In Love With)
5. Justin Trouble- Stay Away Sadness
6. Another Sunny Day- You Should All Be Murdered
7. Crowded House- Don't Dream It's Over
8. Dream Syndicate- Tell Me When It's Over
9. The Wipers- Potential Suicide
10. Danzig- Tired Of Being Alive
11. The Jesus and Mary Chain- Everything's Alright When You're Down
12. The Who- So Sad About Us
13. Shocking Pinks- You Can Make Me Feel Bad
14. Beck- Lost Cause
15. Roy Orbison- Crying
16. The Walker Brothers- The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?

the Braves got blown out by Baltimore (in the words of Emmitt Smith, "this does not boat well for them")
the fucking Lakers won the NBA finals.
Auburn has been universally picked to finish 5th in the SEC West by every single College Football publication i have seen with 6-6 being the average prediction at their record (no more than 2 wins in conference) and 7-5 being the most optimistic outlook.
and Ahmadinejad totally stole the Iranian election.
things are not going well for the sides i root for these days.
fuck it!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The Sorrow Continues

Georgia 17 Auburn 13
...and so it goes.
what can i really even say about this game? this was possibly the best effort this Auburn team has given all season. they were outgunned and overmatched by a superior team and they still had every chance in the world to win this one. it came down to the final play with Auburn in the redzone with a chance to win it. that's all you ever really can ask for. but still we came up short. but a loss is a loss, i don't care how good they played. 3 in a row to the Bulldogs is hard to take and with the painful season this team has endured a chance like that to beat one of your biggest rivals at home and get bowl eligible and come up just short....that's like a dagger in your heart. and so it goes.

the offense did all it could. Kodi played possibly the best game of his young career and just proved over these last several games that he should have been the guy all season. Montez Billings...where you been all year dude? Ben Tate, i had no idea you could actually move like that. and Mario Fannin...goddamn if you aren't full of talent, talent that's been wasted all year as Brad Lester and Ben Tate have gotten the bulk of the carriers. i've got faith in you next season for sure. those 4 players all get free drinks on me...yet it wasn't enough. No, the Dawgs win another and Auburn is one step closer to a losing season. and Tuberville is one game closer to being fired.
finally i would just like to announce my support of Mathew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno in leaving school early to pursue careers in the NFL. really, guys...go for the cash. college is totally overrated. go make that money while you're still young. please.
fucking Georgia. and so it goes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)