Monday, March 31, 2008

Video From the A-Day game

i stole this video from every day should be saturday...but that's ok, they hate Auburn, what with all the losing to them that the Gators like to do.

look at all them fancy forward passes kids. it's a new era.

Bracket Busters Sweet 16/Elite 8 Wrap Up

Okay so you are telling me that Kansas was playing in an NCAA tournament game and the OTHER team choked?! you just destroyed the fabric of reality.

Cinderella choked on a glass dick. this happens. Davidson played their asses off all game and then totally fucked up on the last possession that could've sent them to the Final Four. WHY would anyone other than Curry take that final shot??? i mean i know Kansas was guarding him well, but set a something. give the kid his chance to win it. don't put it all on the hardworking pointguard.

so with Kansas winning i am officially toast in my bracket. the best i can do is come in 2nd place.

i was so glad that Memphis just blew Texas and Michigan State out of the Water. since i have no chance of winning my bracket pool i am totally rooting for the Tigers to win this shit.

onwards to the final four. so we get all number ones for the first time ever. hopefully we get some good games as the last few years have been pretty much blowouts. peace out young Stephen Curry. you were a small wonder to behold. stay in school and come back to kick some ass next year.

I Went To Auburn's A-Day Game and All I Got Was This Sunburn

so, last weekend was a busy one for me. i took a trip to Auburn with my old man to check out Auburn's 2008 squad during their spring A-Day game. unfortunately i'd gone out to a show in Athens the night before, drank way too much, and got home way to i forgot to take my camera, my notepad, or put on any damn sunscreen. so i have no pictures, very bad recollections of the actual game, and a nice pink sunburn on my arms and neck. this is what happens when you leave Athens at 8:45am to go watch some football and have had enough to time to shake your hangover off. all that said, it was a great day and i had fun.


it was a beautiful spring day out on the Plains. clear skies (which resulted in the sunburn), lots of hot college girls (cowboy boots+dresses=War Fucking Eagle), and a good crowd. somewhere around 40 thousand people were reported to have been there...but honestly i couldn't tell. the lower decks on both sides were full as well as one of the endzones...but other than that it was empty. before the game we hung around outside the stadium and watched the players go in. saw Tommy Trott, Lee Ziemba, Bo Harris, Sen'Derrick Marks (that's a big motherfucker) and Ben Tate. we also saw Quentin Groves and Pat Sims hanging out and signing autographs and generally getting ready to be rich as shit after the draft. i'd really love it if the Falcons ended up with one of those guys. quiet a few former Tigers currently taking up NFL roster spots were in attendance including Ronnie Brown, Cadillac Williams, Carlos Rogers, Ben Obomanu, Will Herring, Courtney Taylor, and many more.

as far as the actual game goes, the defense looked a little sloppy, but they were basically playing with one hand behind their back. not much production came out of the running game as Brad Lester saw zero action, Ben Tate and Tristan Davis got very few carries, and Mario Fannin was hurt and didn't play. mostly we got a look at a bunch of walkons who will never see the field and so i have zero impressions of what the running game will be like...but that's not really a spot i'm ever super concerned with. no the real reason we made this trip was to get a good luck at the QB situation. and we saw a whole lot of fucking passing from all four guys.

here are my impressions of each player:

Kodi Burns- Kodi looked the most comfortable of any of the quarterbacks we saw. he had some great throws. he was 14-20 for 142 yards with a touchdown. he looked comfortable in the pocket and scrambled when the preasure was on. he was "sacked" a few times only because the QBs were down as soon as they were touched. i highly doubt he would actually have been sacked any of those times and more than likely he'd have gained 6 or 7 yards on the ground. he's a strong runner and i wouldn't be surprised if he leads Auburn in rushing this year. i feel the stongest about him as Auburn's starter. and honestly he's got that "it" factor. he just looks like a winner and if Auburn really wants to win any SEC titles in the next few years go ahead and turn the team over to this kid now.

Neal Caudle- i was really surprised at what a good arm this kid has. i remember being really excited when Auburn recruited Neal as he was a 4 star on Rivals and part of EA's elite 11 QB recruits. unfortunately injury and youth and a little player named Kodi Burns got him lost in the shuffle. Caudle showed off his legs during the game with a couple of good runs. he's got some speed and i'd like to see the Tigers hold onto this kid and not let him transfer away. granted he threw some bad passes, including a pick six, but he also had a really great touchdown pass and i think he could develop into a good quarterback in another year. do i want to see him on the field this season? no, not unless it's a blowout. but i really think he could be a good solid backup for Kodi the next 3 years and eventually if it was needed he could play and produce.

Chris Todd- so here was everyone's first look at Todd, the JC transfer that Tony Franklin is so in love with and is apparently Burns only competition for the starting spot. looks like another fucking rag armed QB who can't move around much in the pocket that won't be winning any championships in the SEC. honestly i could give two shits about this guy. he's got no arm (granted he's been injured but still...) and he's not gonna be able to make any plays with his feet. the spread offense is always most effective with a dual threat QB and he barely looks like a passing threat. dude should have just gone to Troy. if he ends up being the starter then i'm gonna go ahead and pencil Auburn as 8-4 again and 3rd place in the West.

Deron Furr- finally we got to see the Freshman Furr play. oh man this kid looks like a stud as far as being athletic goes. 6-foot-3, 212-pound 4.52 in the 40. when this kid takes the field he just looks like the kind of player that can make a big impact in a game....i'm just not convinced his impact will be at the Quarterback position. he's got that weird Vince Young sidearm throw and i'm not sure if he could hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat, but damn he looks good running and he had the best hit of the entire spring game when he laid out a lineman with a punishing block on a reverse play. i see this kid either being moved to wide receiver or maybe even safety with the way he can hit. it'd be great if he can develop as a passer...but honestly i think it's a waste...get this kid on the field as soon as you can to take advantage of his obvious athletic ability. some of Auburn's best players have been converted QBs in the past...including Wideout Courtney Taylor...and there's no reason Furr couldn't be in that same mold.

other thoughts from the game

-Robert Dunn looks ready to finally step up and become the player i'd hoped he'd be. two touchdowns...both really great catches and some good route running.
-Tommy Trott is gonna lead this team in receiving at the TE/Inside Receiver postion. he's totally gonna be Burns security blanket...and it's a good thing cuz the kid can catch and he can take a hit. i'm gonna go ahead and call it now...he'll be ALL SEC at tight end this year.
-Josh Bynes is really good.
-Mike Slade is really fast.
and finally the Blue team crushed the White 30-14. which tells me nothing other than that the 2nd team defense is a lot better than the 2nd team offense.

The Tigers look like they've found a solid group of young players to build around the next few years and i really like their chances to win the SEC in the next few years. this season might be a bit tricky with the new offense and a new QB...but there are enough studs on defense and enough skill players who should step up that it doesn't seem unreasonable for a 10 win season and possibly the SEC West crown if LSU falters. and if we meet Florida in the title game in Atlanta, well we know we can take care of them.

War Eagle.

It's Opening Day...

...which used to be my favorite time of the year, many moons ago when i was young and less jaded and loved baseball above all other sports. i mean it was my first love. my first game. the thing i could actually play. the one i dreamed of making it as a professional in, until the reality that i was too small, couldn't hit anything faster than 80 miles and hour and couldn't throw a slider set in. but still my love of the game was always pure, that is until we rolled into the 21st century with a Yankees/Red Sox lovefest that could sicken anyone not calling the Northeastern United States his home. followed by Roids Roids Roids coverage by E$PN that suddenly made you not even care who was and who wasn't cheating. and so i abandoned my once perfect game for a simpler and more entertaining sport that had always held a close 2nd for me, college football. regardless baseball still exists and like an ex-girlfriend you dumped, you still think about her now and again. you still hope the Braves can win another World Series before you die. you pray that someway both and Yankees and the Red Sox will miss the playoffs only because the collective miseries of their fanbases would cheer up almost anyone. and you would like to see a team like the Pittsburgh Pirates claw their way into a playoff spot because they were your first team, the first ball park you ever went to, and have suffered for far too long.

here are your top 5 story lines of the 2008 Baseball Season as brought to you by the World Wide Leader in repetitive story lines.
1. Yankees/Redsox
2. Steroids/HGH
3. Can A-Rod perform in the playoffs
4. hey wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of all these other teams and just have Yankees and RedSox games every day?
5. will anyone take a chance on Barry Bonds?

uggghhh. 7 months of this shit brought to me from the mouth of John Kruk every night. when does football season start again?

Friday, March 28, 2008

I'm Feeling Godlike

this clip has nothing to do with sports. it's just an interview with Liam Gallagher from 2000 when he was on TRL promoting a new Oasis album. it's kind of the reason i love that total douchebag.

so, it's a full weekend. tonight we've got the Black Lips @ The 40 Watt and then tomorrow it's off to Auburn, Alabama for the Spring A-Day game. have a good weekend cats. enjoy your basketball. hopefully your bracket and mine can survive another day.

We'll We're Movin' On Up: Bracket Busters Sweet 16, day 1

the V is for victim.

what a difference a day in the NCAA tournament can make for your sad ass bracket. i made the jump from the bottom of the pack to 4th place thanks to going 4 for 4 last night with my picks. of course it was all favorites winning (yes Louisville was favored to beat Tennessee even though the Vols were a higher seed) so i can't really pat myself on the back for this one. mostly i'm just feeling regret for picking Memphis to come out of the South. my bracket could be toast tonight if the Tigers get bounced by Michigan State. last nights action was mostly boring. Louisville blew out Tennessee, North Carolina crushed Washington State, UCLA got a little scare from Western Kentucky, and then you had one truly great game between West Fucking Virginia and Xavier ending with Xavier on top in overtime. all in all this tournament is going mostly chalk in the later rounds. i fully expect 3 ones to make it to the final four with a wildcard coming out of the South. i could see Stanford, Michigan State, or Texas all coming out of that region...just not my Memphis Tigers. not unless they start letting them dunk for free throws.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

it's hard out there for former number one draft picks on shitty teams

okay this clip is kind of amazing. Andrew Bogut makes his free throw and none of his shitty teammates give him a hi five, so he high fives some imaginary teammates instead.

i'm sure some of the animosity towards Bogut comes from him calling out most NBA players as being way too obsessed with bling and not really that interested in playing basketball, but then again he's from Australia so what does he know besides crocodiles, rugby, and surfing anyways?

They should just put his car on the cover

looks like EA Sports has stepped up their game a bit after totally dropping the ball last year by putting rag armed former QB of Boise State, Jared Zebransky, on the cover (a guy who didn't even get drafted) of NCAA Football 2008. next years game will feature man of a hundred nicknames Darren "DMAC"/"Run DMC"/"The Guy I'm Taking In My Fantasy Draft" McFadden on it's cover. i call this a good move. of course you won't actually be able to play as McFadden in the game...but that is beside the point.

when asked how he felt about being chosen as the coverboy for EA Sports latest edition to their popular franchise his response was merely, "he got that wood." indeed.

i gots some spring fever

just a random thought:

it's really too bad Florida isn't on the schedule next year because we won't get any moments like this.

or this

guess we'll have to just win the west next year and hopefully meet the Gators in Atlanta to give them another nice little crushing defeat.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Spread Eagle Research Mission

this Saturday i'll be making my way from Athens, GA and onwards to the Plains to check out my Auburn Tigers in their annual Spring A-Day Game. it's official. i've become one of "those" college football fans. pretty soon i'll be naming my kids Bo and getting an AU logo tattoo on the back of my skull.

apparently all the fucking running backs are injured so the A-Day game might turn out to look more like a matchup between Texas Tech and Hawaii than a typical SEC team scrimmage. i expect passing, passing, a few QB runs, and some more passing. jesus, the game might end up lasting 3 days with all the possible clock stoppage.

i've already seen the new look spread in action against Clemson in the Peach Bowl...but i'm really looking forward to checking out the QB battle between Kodi Burns and JC transfer Chris Todd. i'll have a full report sometime around Monday...unless i'm too distracted by hot co-eds and don't pay any attention to the game.

Bo Jesus

I'm still really stoked about the idea of Tecmo Bo making his return from video game retirement and onto my Nintendo DS...NFL licence or not. we want Bo Jackson.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

this post has nothing to do with sports.

i have a kid brother. he has a band that is kind rad. check them out.

Tecmo Bowl is Returning

so the greatest Nintendo game of all time, Tecmo Bowl, is making it's glorious return to the Nintendo Wii and the DS. but apparently it won't have an NFL licence, so i'm not sure if i even want to check it out...unless it's got Tecmo Bo then who really cares? i mean 970 yards rushing in one game ain't no fucking joke.

Monday, March 24, 2008

You A Smart Motherfucker, Motherfucker.

Matt Ryan got a 32 on his Wonderlic. big fucking deal. did you think the fucking Quarterback of Boston College wasn't smart? wanna know who else had a 32 wonderlic score? Joey Harrington. nuff said. draft a lineman.

Shit Is All Fucked Up Now: Bracket Busters Day 4

-Georgetown!!!!! you goddamn motherfucking pieces of cocksucking shit. fuck fuck fuck! i hate you i hate you i hate you. AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (stops to breathe then punches television) ONE FINAL FOUR TEAM DOWN, THREE TO GO.

-Dear Memphis Tigers,
Learn to shoot some fucking freethrows or else you guys are done against Michigan State.


I Heart Dorsey

-Louisville is gonna kill Tennessee. this is not just a guess, but fact.

-i won't be surprised at all when Western Kentucky knocks out UCLA...therby killing my bracket completely. it's that kinda year for me.

-i feel like, based on the games i've seen, it's gonna be either Kansas or North Carolina and everyone else is just going through the motions on their way to defeat.

-when is this thing over. i'm spent already.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

HA HA, Duke Still Sucks: Bracket Busters Day 3

-and the choking in early rounds continues for the Blue Devils. even if it fucks up my bracket, the natural instinct to root against Duke gets the best of me again. i should just start picking them to lose in the 1st round every year so that my rooting against the Dukies will also have some positive effect on my bracket.

-Stanford and UCLA decided to give me as big of a scare as possible. i am not feeling as solid on either of those teams after what they did yesterday.

-Michigan State took out Pitt (a team i always like rooting for). Michigan State as always prove they are one of the better tournament teams despite whatever seed they draw. i should just start automatically putting them in the Sweet 16 every year because they will at least get that far.

-overall i did better yesterday, but i still find myself near the bottom of my pool. i still have all my elite 8 teams alive so with some luck i could be back at the top if i get some breaks today.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Bracket Busters Day 2

has there ever been so much fucking red on your bracket after one round of the NCAA tourney?

Worst First Round EVER. only got 20 out of 32 and tied for next to last place. holy fuck. what were you thinking about by having faith in Vandy? you know they can't win any games away from their fucked up homecourt.

again i overthink things and they bite me on the ass.

STEPHEN HILL!!!! Arkansas thugs on Indiana who ushered themselves out of the tourney and back into irrelevance as Gordon will be heading on to the League. why'd i lose faith in the Hawgs and change that pick? goddamn it.

Western Fucking Kentucky owns your darkhorse pick Drake. don't fuck with anybody whose nickname is the Hilltoppers. they climb mountains bitch! and they sink game winning three point daggers into your motherfuckin' heart!

so much for the Pac 10's dominance. there are officially as many SEC teams that made it to the 2nd round and Pacific Ten'ers. of course UCLA and Stanford both could make it to the final four and Mississippi State and Arkansas are probably gettin' bounced in the 2nd round...but still.

oh well, lessons learned for next year: you know nothing about basketball, stop picking upsets.

bright side: my elite 8 and final fours are still intact and i've got a Final Four that no one else in my pool has got, so i'm still in the running for the cash despite my low spot right now. hopefully round 2 treats me better, cuz i just got my fucking ass kicked.

i need to watch something to make me feel better.

ok, i'm fine now.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Down In Flames

take her away AC/DC

lesson #1 about picking your bracket for an office pool or online pick 'em: you know nothing about college basketball and neither do those assholes at ESPN. just go with favorites, if you wanna pick an upset in the 8 vs 9 or 7 vs 10 matchups then go for it, other than that just go straight chalk.

i, as usual in such matters, think i know some shit that i really don't. this is why i have never won a pick em. fucking dipshit.


Ughhhh. i only got 11 of 16 games right yesterday. picked too many upsets and changed picks and the last minute that i shoulda stuck with. this is a very typical start for me in the tournament. so far only 1 sweet 16 team went down though because...

apparently i hitched my wagon to the wrong UberFreshman as O.J. Mayo and USC go down while K State marches on. what the fuck did i even know about USC anyways? i'm just glad i went back and changed my picks yesterday and only had them going to the sweet 16, a few people had them in the elite 8 and even final four.

even though i picked Duke i was still rooting hard for Belmont to take them out. i only have Duke getting to the Sweet 16 so i wouldn't have lost any sleep on them getting bounced in the first round. if you are a Belmont fan you probably shot yourself in the face after the way those last few seconds went down. you have the lead, you are trying to kill the clock, you take a bad shot, Duke takes it the length of the floor and scores, you get it back, miss a shot, get it back again, and then you pass it to the wrong guy on the inbounds play?!?!?!?! are you serious!?? CHOKE!!!!!!!!

Dear George Mason,
I will never again pick you in a tourney pick em.

BYU goes down. why'd i change my pick to the Mormons? must be from watching Big Love.

Kansas and UCLA both look Final Four worthy in crushing defeats of sixteen seeds...or at least more Final Four worthy than Duke.

Fucking Beasley. Beast Man. goddamn Bracket Buster. i have a feeling this kid is gonna be trouble for me. he's on a mission to prove he deserved player of the year and is gonna be knocking off my teams left and right.

West Fucking Virginia...why'd i change my pick to Arizona? from now on i am staying with my gut picks and not fucking around with my bracket ever again. they are so gonna kick Duke's ass.

lets hope i have better luck in Day 2.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Still Rollin' Perfect.

well i got the first three games right in my pick 'em. by tonight the wheels should have fallen off though.

The Dream Is Over

Dawgs go down. they played amazing in the 1st half but Xavier proved to be too much. it's fine, i didn't have them getting out of the 1st round anyways and to be honest it was giving me brain pains to root for Georgia.

Let's Dance

after all my guestimating, prophesizing, and bracketizationing it's time to watch the whole motherfucker come tumbling down around me like the walls of Jericho. the NCAA Championship Tournament kicks off at 12:20 today with UGA taking on Xavier in what should be Cinderella getting her face bashed in....but you never know. the Biggest matchup of the day will obviously be USC vs. Kansas State where we get to see two of the best freshman in the country in O.J. Mayo and Michael Beasley taking on one another. my two big upset watch games are Temple vs Michigan State and George Mason vs. Notre Dame. all in all i should know if i am totally fucked in my pick 'em after today, more than likely. as long as i don't end up laying on the ground crying my eyes out like Adam Morrison then everything will be fine.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

peace out DeAngelo

so the Falcons shipped off DeAngelo Hall to the Raiders for a 2nd round pick and possibly a little bit more. The Falcons now have three 2nd round picks and one 1st round pick. as long as they don't spend any of them on Matt Ryan then things could be looking up for the Birds. as far as Oakland what can you say? they're turning into the dumping ground for every disgruntle douchebag in the League. they gave Hall about a billion dollars to get burnt by Chad Johnson and T.O. and bitch and complain every chance he gets. way to go Al. is their any doubt that Vick will be strapping on a Raiders uni whenever the fuck the NFL let's him come back?

Finally Our Long National Recruiting Nightmare is Over.

Dear Michigan,

you are fucked...for probably the next few years til you can find a really awesome and super athletic QB to run your spread offense. Terrelle Pryor is gonna be a Buckeye. congradulations to Pryor who will get the chance to lose to an SEC school of his choice in an upcoming BCS title game in the next few seasons.

Straight Cash Homey

last night i witnessed the kind of degenerate gambling that makes this country great when i watched a few hours of a friend's NCAA Calcutta where betters bid on teams in an effort to win a huge pot that makes your office pool seem pointless in comparison. we will just say UGA went for 55 dollars and leave it at that. sickening...and yet amazing and way to rich for my blood, dog. i bid on St. Joe's and Arkansas and put my cap at 20 bucks and wasn't anywhere close to landing either team.

*if your friends spent upwards to 350 bucks and you put a cap on yourself at 20...then you need a career.

Monday, March 17, 2008


my likely final four matchups

Memphis vs. UCLA

after only losing 1 game all season the Tigers fall to UCLA, the best team from the best conference will finally put an end to their dream season as the Bruins march on to another championship game.

North Carolina vs. Georgetown

it's the 80s all over again and just like with the Jordan/Worthy team, North Carolina will knock off the Hoyas again setting up....

National Championship game: UCLA vs. North Carolina

and UCLA wins it all...3rd times a charm. now that the Bruins don't have to play Florida in anymore final fours, UCLA can finally win another national championship.

West Region

1st round
1. UCLA vs. 16. Missippi Valley State: UCLA
8. BYU vs. 9. Texas A&M: BYU
5. Drake vs. 12. Western Kentucky: Drake
4. UConn vs. 13. San Diego: UConn
6. Purdue vs. 11. Baylor: Baylor
3. Xavier vs. 14. UGA: Xavier
7. West Virginia vs. 10. Arizona: West Virginia
2. Duke vs. 15. Belmount: Duke

2nd round
1. UCLA vs. 8. BYU: UCLA
5. Drake vs. 4. Uconn: UConn
11. Baylor vs. 3. Xavier: Xavier
7. West Virginia vs. 2. Duke: Duke

sweet 16
1. UCLA vs. 4.UConn: UCLA
2. Duke vs. 3. Xavier: Xavier

elite 8
1. UCLA vs. 3. Xavier: UCLA

South Region

1st round
1. Memphis vs. 16. UT-Arlington: Memphis
8. Mississippi State vs. 9. Oregon: Oregon
5. Michigan State vs. 12. Temple: Michigan State
4. Pittsburg vs 13. Oral Roberts: Pitt
6. Marquette vs. 11. Kentucky: Kentucky
3. Stanford vs. 14. Cornell: Stanford
7. Miami vs. 10. St. Mary's: St. Mary's
2. Texas vs. 15. Austin Peay: Texas

2nd round
1. Memphis vs. 9. Oregon: Memphis
5. Michigan State vs. 4. Pitt: Pitt
11. Kentucky vs. 3. Stanford: Stanford
10. St. Mary's vs. 2. Texas: Texas

sweet 16
1. Memphis vs. 4. Pitt: Memphis
2. Texas: 3. Stanford: Stanford

elite 8
1. Memphis vs 3. Stanford: Memphis

Midwest Region

1st round
1. Kansas vs. 16. Portland St.: Kansas
8. UNLV vs. 9. Kent State: UNLV
5. Clemson vs. 12. Villanova: Nova
4. Vanderbilt vs. 13. Siena: Vandy
6. USC vs. 11. Kansas St.: USC
3. Wisconsin: vs. 14. Cal State Fullerton: Wisconsin
7. Gonzaga vs. 10. Davidson: Gonzaga
2. Georgetown vs. 16. UMBC: Georgetown

2nd round
1. Kansas vs 8. UNLV: Kansas
12. Villanova vs. 4. Vanderbilt: Vandy
6. USC vs. 3. Wisconsin: USC
7. Gonzage vs. 2. Georgetown: Georgetown

sweet 16.
1. Kansas vs 4. Vandy: Kansas
2. Georgetown vs. 6. USC: Georgetown

elite 8
1. Kansas vs. 2. Georgetown: Georgetown

East Region

1st round
1. UNC vs. 16. play in winner: winner UNC
8. Indiana vs. 9. Arkansas: Indiana
5. Notre Dame vs. 12. George Mason: George Mason
4. Washington State vs. 13. Winthrop: Wash. St.
6. Oklahoma vs. 11. St Jospeh's: St. Joe's
3. Lousville vs. 14. Boise State: Louisville
7. Butler vs. 10. South Alabama: Butler
2. Tennessee vs. 15. American: Tennessee

2nd round
1. UNC vs. 8. Indiana: UNC
12. George Mason vs. 4. Washington St.: Wash. St.
11. St Josephs vs. 3. Louisville: L'ville
2. Tennessee vs. 7. Butler: Tennessee

sweet 16
1. UNC vs. 4. Washington St: UNC
3. Louisville vs. 2. Tennessee: L'Ville

elite 8
1. UNC vs. 3. Louisville: UNC


time to piss away hard earned dollars on various gambling pools i am entering today. my strategy this year is to pick 3 different champs in 3 different pools and hopefully i will come away with the pot in one of them. but with my luck none of those teams will win and i'll be fucked. whatever.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

UGA Wins The SEC Tournament...thus telling the world the SEC sucks this year.

so i make no secrets about my hatred of The University Of Georgia's football program. it dates back to my early childhood. it threatens to dwarf the hatred i hold for the New York Yankees/Boston Red Sox rivalry...but UGA basketball is an entirely different beast. i've always been a sucker for a good underdog story and UGA is by far the best one i've seen in a while. they had to win three games in 48 hours knocking off favored teams in al of their matchups during the SEC tournament and they did it...earning them an automatic bid in the NCAA tournemnt. will i pick them to actually win any games? uh, no. but still i appreciate the effort that a pretty lousy college basketball team was able to put forth under the strangest of situations and so as much as it pains me to ever fucking say this, "Go Dawgs". anyways a little bit of advice for the gambling masses: don't pick any of the SEC teams to go further than the Sweet 16, that's all you need to know.

Cinderella is Red and Black

the Dawgs keep winning...thus proving how badly the SEC sucks in basketball this year. watching these SEC tournament games on tv was weird. no fans in the stands, playing at Tech instead of the Dome...the whole thing looks and feels like you are watching highschool basketball. it's kind of awesome. they should do this every year for the SEC tournament, it at least keeps all the obnoxious Kentucky fans at home. if the Dawgs beat Arkansas tomorrow they are gonna end up in the NCAA tournament...probably even in that lousy play in game. but if they lose to the Hawgs they won't even be eligible for the NIT because they will have i losing record (at least i think they'll be ineligible). i love Post-Season college basketball.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Dawgs beat Basketball...huh?

so much for that NCAA Tournament spot for the Wildcats. you lose to a team as shitty as Georgia in the SEC Tournament then you don't really deserve to go anywhere that isn't called the NIT. i love college basketball. Georgia gets to turn around and play Mississippi State tonight thanks to last nights game being cancelled.

Tear The Roof Off The Motherfucker

so apparently it takes an act of god to stop the Crimson Tide. Bama has been on a tear to close out their season, knocking off Vandy to end the regular season and then completely destroying Florida in the SEC Tournament. last night they were in overtime trying to eliminate Mississippi State when a fucking tornado hit the Georgia Dome, knocking off some pieces and scaring the shit out of everybody inside. after about an hour long delay the game resumed and the Tide lost. tough luck Bama. see you in the NIT.

as far as the Dome goes, this is what we like to call a sign from God. it's time to tear that piece of shit down and build a new state of the art facility outside the city limits. you can't bring fans to see the Falcons play with the shitty team they are fielding, so you might as well give us a bunch of fancy bells and whistles to keep the people distracted from the horrible football you are pushing.

here's some video of the whole thing.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Worship The Runningback

I've been watching college football pretty religiously now for about 25 years. granted there have been stretches where i paid little or no attention to the sport outside of what Auburn was doing (especially the years when i was too busy being grunge and discovering teen aged girls), but in general i watched enough games and kept up with enough sportscenter highlights to know who was who, what was what, and what the fuck was going on.

now growing up in the South with the long shadow of SEC football looming over everything i have learned two important rules.
1) You Must Run The Football!
2) You Must Run The Football!
Steve Spurrier be damned, but SEC football is all about the runningback. The following list are my top 10 all time favorite college runningbacks of my lifetime.

1. BO JACKSON- probably the entire reason i grew up an Auburn fan instead of Alabama or Georgia.

2. Herschel Walker- when i moved to Georgia as a kid all i knew was the greatest athlete in college history was some guy named Herschel. it's kinda hard to argue with that logic.

3. Reggie Bush- if he ever becomes a great pro or not is irrelevant. if he got paid by an agent while at school also doesn't matter. all you need to know is that Reggie Bush put up over 500 all purpose yards in a game against Fresno State and it was fucking awesome. it's the single greatest performance by an athlete i have ever seen. and it gave us this play.

4. Barry Sanders- so fucking sick. the original Reggie Bush. too bad he played for a shitty team that i never got to watch.

5. Adrian Peterson- seriously, how the fuck did he not win a Heisman? oh yeah, he got hurt too damn much.

6. Marshall Faulk- i couldn't find any good college highlights of him on youtube, but he was fucking sick. another crime against the Heisman trophy is that he never won one.

7. Darren McFadden- i don't think i have ever wished a player had gone to Auburn more than Run DMC. probably the greatest SEC runningback since Bo. a fucking demon. i still can't belive Auburn was able to shut him down this year. it's a shame he's gonna end up in Oakland.

8. Cadillac Williams- my second favorite Auburn runningback ever. if he'd ever stay healthy he could be an all-pro. i'd like to see him end up with the Falcons some day. the leader of the greatest Auburn team of my lifetime. War Fucking Eagle.

9. Lawrence Phillips- when i think about wasted talent i immediately think of Phillips. he was so fucking sick at Nebraska. too bad he was a fucking idiot in life.

10. Garrison Hearst- whenever i hear Georgia fans talk about how fucking awesome Knowshon Moreno is and how he's the best Georgia back since Walker i get pissed and remind them of Garrison Hearst (who unfortunately is more remembered for starting the Madden curse and less for being an awesome college back). i couldn't find any youtube highlights of him either. but take my word for it, he was amazing.

and just for the hell of it. a video of Emmitt Smith crying after never beating Auburn during his college career.

just sittin' around waitin' for the madness to begin

conference tournament time is pretty much the period when i start to pay attention to college basketball and decide who i am gonna waste my thirty dollars on in whatever betting pool i enter. i've been filling out brackets since i was in junior high and have never finished better than 3rd. this year i expect pretty much the same sort of result. North Carolina is my early lean...but considering i am pretty sure everyone i know is either gonna pick them or UCLA to win it all there's that little part in the back of my brain telling me to roll the dice and go with someone like Memphis or even a darkhorse team like Louisville to win it all. 30 dollars was never thrown away with such ease. you'd have to be a sucker to think you're gonna win...unless your friends are all morons or you get lucky. and lucky isn't exactly something that comes natural to me. regardless more will be written on this subject in the next few weeks as the most exciting time of the sports year is about to begin. MB get that projector ready, we is 'bout to get our tournament on.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

yep, i totally suck at basketball (just as i thought)

so it's finally getting warm outside. t-shirt weather even. and with the improving weather and the start of march madness i've got basketball on my mind. it's a rare month long time period where i actually give a shit about hoops. so i decided to head out to the basketball court next to my house and try out my old jumper. hell i bought a fucking headband, might as well use the fucking thing....unfortunately for me and my headband, my skills on the basketball court aren't what they were when i was 16. firstly i am an out of shape mess who hasn't really engaged in much physical activity since my band broke i could only really run around getting my own rebound from all my bricked shots for about an hour and secondly i can't shoot a free throw to save my life. i took 50 shots from the line and only hit 12 of them. so if you are ever interested in playing pickup basketball with me, just foul the shit out of me and send me to the line cuz i am as reliable as Shaq. my only real enjoyment from the exercise was that i was surprisingly accurate from the three point line...nailing 4 in a row at one point and sinking about 20 in all. it was sort of ridiculous that i was far more accurate from behind the arch than i was from the charity stripe. whatever, i'll take it. my dreams of being john paxon still live. regardless it was kind fun sucking it up on the court while the 10 year old kid standing outside the fence laughed at me while i airballed a free throw. i'm planning on attempting to play some hoops again, next time with actual humans other than myself in the never ending quest to fit in the jeans i used to wear 2 years ago.

this headband is official, and it's officially being wasted on my no ballin' ass.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

just call him JaMarcus The Hutt

you can probably file this under: unsubstantiated rumor... but word on the streets (and by streets i mean nerdy sports blogs that exist on these here internets.) last year's Number 1 overall pick and former LSU star has gotten pretty fat in the offseason.

"how fat?" you ask. try 300 motherfucking pounds fat! that's right a 300 pound QB, not even Jared Lorenzen can touch that. if this is true the Raiders might wanna think about moving JaMarcus over to left tackle, but seriously what other team besides the goddamn Raiders would let their most important player not take care of himself and balloon like that? Oakland is a fucking joke. it pains me so.

in other players i predicted to be busts in the NFL news, former USC standout receiver Dwayne Jarrett went and got his ass arrested for a DWI. so at this point that can't miss group of superstars at USC that included Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Lendale White, Dwayne Jarrett, and Steve Smith is looking more and more like a group of guys who coulda been...but then again i guess that's a little premature to call them a bunch of busts. esp considering White and Smith are probably gonna be reliable pros and the bar for Bush was set too impossibly high for him to ever really reach. Leinart is mostly just a douche and so i guess that leaves Jarrett as the one true bust that will come out of that group. still i don't think any of them are ever really gonna be the collection of probowlers i thought they were during the 2004-2005 college football seasons.

pour out a 40 for Eric Crouch's career

so a story that happened last week that i neglected to cover was the official closing down of the All American Football League, a league made up of college graduates who couldn't cut it in the NFL or CFL or Arena League. there were teams set to play in Texas, Florida, Michigan, Alabama, Arkansas, and Tennessee that were to be made up of college players from those and surrounding states. some of the leagues stars were to be former Florida QB Chris Leak and former Nebraska QB Eric Crouch. you've really gotta feel bad for Crouch. the guy is living proof that the Heisman Trophy is nothing more than a glorified paper weight. since winning the award in 2001 he's been cut from two NFL teams (correction, cut by the Rams cuz he wanted to play QB and they wanted him to be a receiver and then he asked Greenbay to let him go cuz he wanted to play QB and the team drafted Aaron Rodgers), he's been a washout in NFL Europe (where he tried to play safety), and he was the third string QB for the Toronto Argonauts. this was his last/best chance to finally be a pro QB (albeit in the 3rd rate league) and now it's all over. dude, please just go sell some insurance in Lincoln or coach a high school football team. it's too painful to watch you fail. i mean i understand and believe in your love of the game, but man, it's just not gonna happen bro. please ESPN give this guy a job as an analyst...or something. make the hurting stop for our poor boy Eric.

*on a related note (aka QBs who should quit while they are ahead), ten bucks says Brandon Cox would've ended up playing in this league for the Alabama team and also would lead the league in sacks and picks.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Fucking Falcons Can Eat A Dick

that's the sound my brain makes whenever i think about the coming NFL Draft.

lingering like a salary cap crushing plague over the head of an already tragically stupid organization is the number 3 pick in this year's draft...and the name Matt Ryan keeps getting thrown around by all the NFL insiders and draft gurus as the logical choice. and it seems all the more likely that the Boston College QB is the direction the Falcons are looking towards and it's all enough to make a grown man cry.

first the Falcons signed Michael Turner thereby sending a signal to their fans that Darren McFadden wouldn't be stepping into the Dome to save fan interest and sell some motherfucking jerseys and then yesterday Atlanta cut QB Joey Harrington which all but throws up a red flag that the Falcons won't be doing the smart thing this year by building with either the best defensive tackle (Glenn Dorsey) or the best offensive tackle (Jake Long) and instead are gonna set the franchise back another ten years with an overrated college QB who played against a weak ACC, threw 19 interceptions as a fucking senior, completed less than 60% of his passes, and won zero championships. exactly what about those qualities equals franchise QB to you? i swear Matt Ryan must have pictures of all the guys at ESPN is some gay orgy because i've never seen such a lovefest for such an average player in my life. yesterday i heard Collin Cowherd call him the next Ben Roethlisberger. really??? i call him the next Tim Couch.

i'd go through the laundry list of reasons why i think Matt Ryan sucks and would much rather see Brian Brohm get drafted or better yet have the Falcons take a QB in the second of third round like Andre Woodson, Joe Flacco, Eric Ainge...or hell even Chad Henne (although i think he'll suck too) but basically anyone would be a smarter and cheaper option. but if you need more than just blind hatred of a player and require those pesky facts to back up arguments then you might as well read this guy's blog about the situation.

well if Atlanta does decide to piss off their fanbase and draft the kid we might as well get used to this image as it's gonna be happening pretty much every fucking sunday.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Go Dawgs

oh sweet jesus, this is the funniest fucking squidbillies clip ever.

Peace Out Favre

he finally hung it up. odds he stays retired...right now i'd put it at 2/1. the real question is, What is John Madden gonna do? and honestly i never really thought about it, but why hasn't Favre ever been the cover boy of Madden? in my top 3 dumbest moves that the Atlanta Falcons have ever made, trading Favre to the Packers is easily number 1.
the King is Dead. Long Live The King.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Disappointment (it's the Falcon Fan way of life)

so Atlanta signed L.T.'s backup, Michael Turner, for like a billion dollars...showing that they haven't learned the art of spending wisely and also sending a signal to their fanbase that they aren't gonna be drafting Darren McFadden. i guess having two runningbacks that are more suited to be backups are better than having a really fucking awesome runningback who might bring some fans back to the Dome. oh fucking well. let's hope they end up taking Glenn Dorsey or Jake Long then.