Wednesday, April 30, 2008

We Iz Be Tha Sick Todayz

no blogging and or working. instead i'll be laid up watching Raiders Of The Lost Ark and eating soup or whatever. obviously all the anger that's been spilling forth about the Falcons' draft has poisoned by blood and done this to me. laters.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A Bold Prediction

so with the draft this weekend and with the Falcons taking the lily-white Matt Ryan, Mike Vick has been on my mind a lot. much has been discussed about Ryan being a character guy and a leader and all the racial undertones implied in that, especially when comparing him to Mike Vick. and words like winner get thrown around a lot too. well that's where i like to stop people and say, Mike Vick was a fucking winner. he wasn't the smartest guy in the world, not the most mature, and definitely not a friend to dogs, but he won more games during his tenure as the Falcons QB than anyone else who ever had that job and i can guarantee Ryan will never come close to achieving the same level of success on the field as Vick did. Vick did something that can never be matched. he made Atlanta matter in the NFL.

and this is why he's gonna be a starting QB again some day. and right now i am gonna go ahead and tell you that the team he will be leading on the field again whenever he's aloud back into the league will be the Dallas Cowboys, who will have grown tired of losing playoff games with Tony Romo and will not bat an eye at Vick's past. i mean they took Tank Johnson and Pac Man Jones, why not take Vick as well. all Jerry Jones wants to do is win, and 3 more seasons of 1st round losses with Tony will make Mike Vick to tempting to pass up.

Oh Yeah, This Is Fucking Perfect

OF COURSE Matt Ryan is gonna be the goddamn cover athlete for the PS3 version of NCAA Football 2009! am i totally retarded to say that the fact McFadden is on the Xbox 360 version is making me lean closer to buying an Xbox 360 over a PS3?! that's the level of hatred i have for Ryan. this kid is gonna start haunting my fucking dreams.

War Eagle...and all that shit.

lost in the pain and misery of The Falcons and their drafting woes, was my Auburn Tigers and their continued supply of underrated defensive players to the NFL.

the wrap up for Auburn players selected in the 2008 NFL Draft.

DE Quentin Groves, 2nd round pick to the Jaguars.

CB Patrick Lee, 2nd round pick to the Packers.

DT Pat Sims, 3rd round pick to the Bengals.

CB Jonathan Wilhite, 4th round pick to the Patriots.

OT King Dunlap, 7th round pick to the Eagles.

also TE Cole Bennet signed with Houston, DT Josh Thompson signed with the Rams, and my personal fav, Carl Stewart got signed by the Tampa Bay Bucs...hopefully he'll be blocking for Cadillac. Brandon Cox was offered a contract by the Kansas City Chiefs...but then it was discovered to be a prank by Brody Croyle to which Cox replied, "Well i still beat you, douchebag". Cox will now begin a long campaign getting laid in the Auburn area with any woman of his choosing.

so not bad for Auburn. it's not like when we had 4 1st rounders a couple of years ago, but still a quality number of guys going who can contribute to the NFL.

and in case you were wondering. Number of Alabama players drafted: zero. sorry MB, had to be said. and this is how you beat a team 6 years in a row.


to quote Mike K, "My Mind Is Melting". of better yet to quote Major League, "Who are these fucking guys?" Atlanta Hawks, you give us all reason to smile. after taking it to the Celtics two games in a row and turning Phillips Arena into the Thunderdome, it's enough to make up for the Falcons' shitty draft. i am going ahead and calling Josh Smith the next big superstar in the NBA, this has totally been his coming out party and also even if the Celtics blow out Atlanta in the next two games, they aren't winning no fucking NBA title this year, not with that collection of old ass dudes. The Hawks were just out jumping them, out hustling them, out everything athletic. and give it up to Zaza Pachulia for getting in KG's face last night. i think that might have been the moment that totally sung the momentum of the game. not to mention TWO comebacks from double digit deficits. Hawks, you are making a believer outta me.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Do You Belive In Miracles?

lost in my drunken rage over the Falcons and their shitty drafting tactics was the fact that The Hawks beat the Celtics. way to go Hawks. too bad i missed the game cuz i was too busy being drunk and angry all damn day. Josh Smith is the man.


today we few remaining members of Falcons Nation (not affiliated with the National Association of Falconry) are in a state of mourning following this weekends NFL Draft. such high hopes and endless possibility crushed by the weight of lousy picks and a scared front office, too chicken shit to take the best/most marketable player (McFadden) or the safest/smartest pick (Dorsey), and instead go with the overrated QB who wouldn't have even been the top rated passer in any of the last 10 drafts (that includes bust worthy QBs David Carr, Joey Harrington, Tim Couch, Akili Smith, Alex Smith, etc...)that all the east coast media dickheads think is a winner and has character.

uggghhh....if i ever hear the word character being used as the foundation for winning football games again i might start shooting people. the Cowboys have never seemed to get all caught up in bullshit adjectives like character. i mean they had fucking Michael Irving for'd that work out for them? football players win football games. do you believe the Falcons got the best players that were available? i sure as shit don't.

and it wasn't just Ryan, there were reaches all over the goddamn place. they took Sam Baker from USC with a 1st round pick that they got by trading two of their 2nd round picks. picks that they got from Houston and Oakland in the Matt Schuab and De'Angelo Hall basically they traded Hall and Schuab for Sam Baker...a guy who honestly they could of gotten in the 2nd round. good job. and then there were some of the other players to boggle the mind.... Curtis Lofton, a linebacker from Oklahoma. let's see, this is what Scout's Inc. had to say about Mr. Lofton, "Lofton isn't going to wow you with his natural ability; he doesn't have great speed and lacks the athletic ability to match up with running backs in man coverage." Wow! sounds awesome. considering he plays for Oklahoma and i've never really heard about him, despite watching a number of their games last season, i am gonna go ahead and assume he probably wasn't worth a 2nd round pick. they also took a couple of more linebackers i've never heard of, a tight end from LSU who didn't even start, a corner from Arizona that i remember watching get toasted in a couple of games last year, and a safety from California that can't cover. AWESOME. championship season in 3 years. i'm calling it now.

okay, let's play a game called: Alternate Reality Falcons Draft Some Good Players That Could Contribute Soon And Won't End Up Getting Cut or On Someone's Practice Squad.

here are the picks and then the picks that coulda been if i was making them:

Round 1: Drafted Matt Ryan. QB, Boston College.

coulda taken: Glenn Dorsey. DT, LSU.

if you are hung up on character, Dorsey had it in spades, plus unlike Mr. Ryan who gets called a "winner" without having actually won anything, Dorsey helped lead the LSU Tigers to the BCS Championship game and was also a member of the team that destroyed Notre Dame in Sugar Bowl the year before. sounds like a winner to me. not to mention he can stuff the run AND make plays in the backfield, something that Mike Smith knew a lot about with Jacksonville. last time i heard, Defense Wins Championships...not overrated QBs who won't be any good for a couple of years at best. but whatever, i've said enough about this.

Round 1: Drafted Sam Baker. OT, USC.

coulda taken: Brian Brohm. QB, Louisville.

i don't actually think Baker was a bad pick, just where they took him and what they gave up to get him was what i had a problem with. i wouldn't have cared as much if Atlanta would've traded up and taken Brohm, a QB who i actually believe will be a good pro. going into this season he was thought of as the number 1 QB in the country and would have actually been a 1st round pick in last year's draft if he'd left school early, but his stock was hurt because his team sucked more so than what he did. it's not his fault that his defense couldn't stop anyone. he still put up great stats and looked like a 1st round pick to me. he has an injury history, but i think it's worth the risk. he is a smart kid, played in a pro style offense and makes better decisions with the ball than Ryan did. he doesn't have a cannon for an arm, but then again neither does Tom Brady, what he does have is a good mind and an accurate arm and that's enough to be successful in the NFL. but honestly they could have probably gotten Baker with one of their picks at the beginning of the 2nd round and also taken Brohm with a 2nd round pick as well. solving their QB and Tackle problems without giving up as much as they did.

Round 2: Drafted Curtis Lofton. ILB, Oklahoma

coulda had: Quentin Groves. DE/OLB, Auburn.

okay this is a pick made of personal bias, but let's be honest Groves is gonna be a sack artist in the NFL. he's faster than any of the other ends taken in the draft and will be a great outside linebacker at the next level. he has problems stuffing the run sometimes, but he is a playmaker in the pass rush. i predict he'll be a star sooner than later.

Round 3: Drafted Chevis Jackson. CB, LSU.

coulda had: Tavaris Gooden. ILB, Miami.

i actually have no problem with this pick. Jackson will be able to help out as a nickleback, but i think Gooden could be the perfect replacement for Keith Brooking at middle linebacker. he's kinda weak against the run, but he's a hell of an athlete and can make plays against the pass, plus we was part of the 7th Floor Crew at the U and so if it doesn't work out for him with the Falcons, he might be able to contribute to the Atlanta Rap scene.

Round 3: Drafted Harry Douglas. WR, Louisville.

best pick the Falcons made, he can come in a play the slot. has good hands. and if the Falcons had taken Brohm it would make sense to also take his favorite target. i'll leave this one alone.

Round 3: Drafted Thomas Decloud. S, California.

coulda taken: Justin King. CB, Penn State.

so if they hadn't taken Jackson they would have needed to sure up that nickleback spot and King is the best Corner available at this point. the kid has amazing speed and could be a returner as well. at one point he was projected as a 1st round pick, but slipped after the combine. i know nothing about DeCloud other than the fact he's slow and played for a shitty Cal team.

Round 5: Drafted Robert James. OLB, Arizona State.

coulda taken: Frank Okam. DT, Texas.

James is an undersized linebacker who plays for Arizona State...this means i think he sucks. Okam however is a former 5 star recruit at Texas who underachieved a lot in college, but has great size and showed the ability to stuff the run. could be a bit of a project, but could develop into a great tackle...especially when paired with Glenn Dorsey.

Round 5: Drafted Kroy Biermann. OLB, Montana.

coulda taken: Owen Schmidt. FB, West Fucking Virginia.

never fucking heard of this guy before. he could be Lawrence Taylor all i know. i do know who Owen Schmidt is. Schmidt is a beast-like man-creature with a mohawk who breaks his face mask and hits himself in the face with his helmet when he messes up. if Atlanta wants to take on Jacksonville's power running style they need a solid fullback. i think Schmidt is the last of his kind. a true blocking fullback with size and speed and he can catch just for good measure. i think he will be a probowler and he'd become a fan favorite.

Round 6: Drafted Thomas Brown. RB, Georgia.

again i have no problem with this pick. he's a hometown kid. he'd add some depth behind Norwood and Turner. he can return kicks and he might end up becoming a legit weapon in a couple of seasons. plus he played for the Dogs, so why the fuck not take a chance in the 6th round on him.

Round 7: Drafted Wilrey Fontenot. CB, Arizona.

coulda taken: King Dunlap. OT, Auburn

i saw Fotnenot get fucking toasted in a couple of games last year. this guy can't play in the NFL and i'll be surprised if he even makes the team. Dunlap is a bit of a project. he got beat out by a true freshman last year at Auburn, but he's a fucking giant at 6 foot 9 and 310 pounds. could be a good right tackle in a few years. with that kinda frame he's worth a 7th rounder. plus he's another Auburn player and i'm a homer.

Round 7: Drafted Keith Zinger. TE, LSU.

coulda taken: Mario Urrutia. WR, Louisville.

okay this completes transformation into the Atlanta Cardinals...but seriously he's worth the pick. Urrutia was thought of as a 2nd or 3rd round pick but slipped because of injury. he's got incredible size and speed and is a steal in the 7th round. he's big enough to play some tight end, and would be the perfect red zone threat. Zinger didn't even start for LSU last year. i call this one a no brainer.

anyways i am no scout or draft expert...all i do is watch a shit ton of college football and pray for the best when it comes to the Falcons and their draft, but i think you'd a have a hard time telling me that my draft board doesn't look a hell of a lot better than the one that Atlanta put together.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

they aren't saying "Boo!" they are saying "FUCK YOU!"

so with Glenn Dorsey, the player the fans wanted, available you stupid fuckers decide to go with "Matty Ice" instead and keep this franchise where it always has been and always will be, at the bottom. i had such high hopes going into today and when Chris Long got drafted by the Rams i knew Dorsey was coming to the Dome. but i guess Arthur Blank had his way and we get the smiley faced cracker ass north eastern QB who throws tons of picks, has a terrible rating, and looks like the second coming of David Carr. it would seem the Falcons are more interested in listening to douchebags like Todd McShay and Peter King who like to use words like "winner" when describing Ryan. really? what the fuck did that guy ever win? a Champs Sports Bowl is about all i can remember. did he ever win a championship? not that i am aware of. i remember him getting his ass kicked by Virginia Tech in the ACC Championship game. does that equal winner to you?

i'm too old and i'm tired of rooting for loser dickheads who could give a fuck what their fans want. you coulda had Dorsey, you coulda had McFadden, you coulda fucking traded the pick to Dallas for 2 first rounders and added some goddamn depth. go to Hell Arthur Blank, you pimp looking fuckwad. i am never shopping at Home Depot again
whatever, fuck Matt Ryan! and fuck the Atlanta Falcons! i am jumping teams. i've had it with this fucking bullshit.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Draft Anxiety Is Gettin' The Best Of Me

i can't remember the last time i was so looking forward to/dreading an NFL draft. sure i was really excited when 4 Auburn Tigers went in the 1st round a few years back...but this draft is all about my Atlanta Falcons and how they're finally gonna put together a descent group of kids that lifts them from the bottom of the heap and into the promised land of back to back winning seasons and regular playoff trips (oh to dream). either that or they're gonna draft Matt Ryan and i'm gonna be burning his jersey in effigy in a few seasons while he's throwing his fifth pick in a blowout loss to the New Orleans Saints. with any luck Dorsey is still there and the Falcons build a team around a solid defensive front...but if he's gone i'm praying Atlanta trades their pick with the Ravens and then drafts Sedric Ellis or the best lineman available. but hey, it's Atlanta. it ain't like they're known for doing the smart thing. and just so you know, and this is the last time i say it, when i look at Matt Ryan i don't see a Manning...i see Tim Couch.

if Atlanta really wants a QB, just take whoever the hell is available in the 2nd round and hope for the best. it's cheaper than the alternative and if that doesn't work out there's always the hometown kid of Matt Stafford that they can take in a couple of years. i might not like Stafford, but i'm willing to bet he'll be a better pro than "Matty Ice" and the fans of Atlanta will at least be excited about rooting for the kid.

other hopes for this draft regarding Atlanta:
i'd like to see them pick up Auburn's Pat Sims with one their second round picks...especially if they fail to land Dorsey or Ellis in the 1st round. i wanna see lots of offensive lineman getting taken, like at least 3...but possibly 4. a playmaking tight end wouldn't be bad either. JerMichael Finely of Texas will likely be around in the 4th or 5th round. he's got good size, pretty descent speed and ball catching ability, but he's not much of a blocker. he seems like the kinda player that could blossom into a probowler in a couple of years if used properly. honestly though if this kid wouldn't have left early (he's a redshirt sophomore) he'd be a first rounder in 2009 or 2010. other than that just load up on kids who can play sooner than later and start 'em off all together. let 'em lose together. let 'em learn together. let 'em turn into a team together. just build a foundation that this goddamn pathetic Shakespearean Tragedy of an NFL franchise can rise up from the ashes on...please.

Positive Vibes Friday: Oh, What Coulda Been?

with the draft coming up this weekend and The Falcons in need of a new franchise QB i am being brought back to a simpler time. the 2001 NFL Draft. The Atlanta Falcons drafted Michael Vick of Virginia Tech. Number One overall. 1st black QB ever taken as the number one pick. Atlanta had a new star. the future was so fucking bright that we had to wear shades...sure it didn't work out so hot in the long run, but let's not dwell on the negatives and instead we'll just revel in the amazing plays he made while he was around. plus i will never ever forget the way he destroyed Greenbay in the playoffs at Lambeau Field. it was truly an awesome time to be a Falcons fan. we had this thing called hope. but hope dies. hope always dies.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

what ever did happen to my rock and roll anyways?

so after taking about all i could stomach of the Atlanta Hawks asskicking handed to them by the loathsome Boston Celtics and their fair weather fans, i ventured forth into the night and headed on down to the famous 40 watt to check out Black Rebel Motorcyle Club.
it'd been a number of years since last i saw the BRMC and i was glad to know that BRMC still stands very much for Bad Ripoff Mary Chain more than anything. they still got the all-black getups and stupid haircuts and the tunes to match. songs with lines like "suicides easy, what happened to the revolution " are on point with that image and they also still make up for the fact that they have zero charisma with smoke machines and strobe lights. the lights were so fuckin' bright that they damn near blinded me and the strobes sent me into fits of seizure. now i wouldn't say the BRMC boys are bad, honestly i kinda like their songs cuz they just sound like a couple of bands i already like anyway and you can make out to their music, which is always nice...but honestly they're the kinda band that you'd be better served to listen to on your own time in your car, in your ipod machine, or on the stereo. no need really to pay 15 bucks to watch 'em stand around like a couple of statues changin' guitars every other song and staring at their shoes. not that i'm complainin' or anything, i got in for free and a free show is a free show is a free show.
all in all the show last night felt weird because it's about 5 or 6 years since the last time i saw them and that was back when they were, i don't know the word for it, relevant maybe. seeing them last night in a half full room reminded me a lot of seeing a band like Teenage Fanclub late in their career who'd had an alternative rock hit in the early 90s and then stuck around way too damn long afterwards, never gettin' bigger than that first blast of popularity and out lasting their usefulness by nearly half a decade. but hey, that's the fucking game. some people can work it (sonic youth comes to mind) and others are lost and forgotten, still touring and putting out records and hoping against hope that their star might shine bright again, when we all know the damn thing already went supernova and they're turning into a black hole from which no amount of creativity and/or originality might ever escape again.

and don't think i don't recognize the irony in calling Celtics fans fairweather when i am rooting for the fucking Hawks...a franchise that i could honestly care less about.


...are not nearly as awesome as i had far. one really great game and then the rest of these series are less than compelling. everyone is up 2-0...except somehow the Sixers beat Detroit. the Suns keep pulling defeat out of the jaws of victory and more than likely the Spurs will win another boring title that makes people not watch the finals. Kobe is a dick. the Wizards are gettin' owned by Lebron. The Rockets are doing that 1st round choke thing. and the Hawks aren't even bothering to show up to any of their games. fuck it.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

And So It Begins...

so the Dolphins do the safer, cheaper, and i'd guess smarter thing and take Left Tackle Jake Long with the number 1 pick in the 2008 draft. no one seemed interested in trading up to get the pick and the Dolphins decided against getting Chris Long or Matt Ryan. i have nothing bad to say about Jake Long. he's a big strong tackle that you could build an offensive line around. he was actually number 3 on my wish list for the Falcons behind Darren McFadden and Glenn Dorsey. and so now the Rams have the ball in their court. are they gonna take Dorsey or Chris Long? their pick is gonna decide the future of the Falcons' organization. with any luck they'll pass on Dorsey, but a i have a bad feeling that won't be the case. and that's when the real trouble begins. there's still the possibility that Atlanta might trade out of the number 3 and get more fucking draft picks. regardless the Draft can't come soon enough.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

An Open Letter To The Atlanta Falcons regarding the draft.

Dear Falcons,

my name is Justin Robinson. i am a long suffering fan of your shitty excuse for an NFL franchise. i understand that you have the number 3 pick in this years NFL draft and i was just letting you know that i would really appreciate it if you guys didn't fuck that up like you are inclined to do in most years. last year's draft was a fucking joke (Jamal Anderson and Chris Houston...really?) and so with 4 of the top 48 picks you guys have a lot of making up to do.

now i was really excited about the possibility of the 3rd pick a few months ago. i had visions of Darren McFadden dancing in my head, tearing up the Dome and making us all forget about Mike Vick....but like a bunch of pussies you ended up signing Michael Turner to a long term deal and sending a clear shot across the bow of your fan base that you could give a fuck what we want, we aren't getting McFadden.

and so that is when THE FEAR struck me. and by THE FEAR i mean the nightmares that have me waking in the middle of the night when Atlanta uses the 3rd pick in the draft to select Boston College QB Matt Ryan and sets the franchise back another decade or so. for the life of me i couldn't even begin to understand the fascination in Ryan and honestly it's starting to be a joke how much i blindly hate the kid...because in all honesty if he wasn't on the Falcons' radar then i really wouldn't give a flying fuck what happened to him. but the thought of that guy becoming an Atlanta Falcon is enough to make me switch teams. and i don't mean go gay (which by the way, isn't Todd McShay's love affair with Matt Ryan starting to seem more like a homosexual crush more than a scout thinking a guy is gonna be an NFL star? just saying.) what i mean is if Atlanta drafts Ryan with the third pick then i am no longer going to root for the Falcons anymore. it's a thankless process to begin with...instead i will hitch my loyalties to either the Tennessee Titans or the Jacksonville Jaguars...depending on who i see more games of next season, and then that'll be it. i will break up with the Falcons forever and it would take a Super Bowl run to win me back.

your friend,


Monday, April 21, 2008

THE NBA Playoffs are actually kinda rad.

who knew that i actually cared about the NBA? well i don't really, what i do like is watching good games in any sport.... and you gotta nominate the Suns vs. Spurs game 1 as one of the best games played this year in any sport. unfuckingbelievable. The Suns choke away a 16 point lead, hack a Shaq is in full effect, Michael Finnely with a 3 to send it into overtime, Tim Duncan hits a 3 to send it into double overtime, and Manu hits the game winner to prevent a 3rd OT. you gotta fucking feel for Phoenix. they had 'em and let it slip away. i give them zero chance of winning this series now after such a heartbreaker.
other notes:
-Lebron continues to prove to everyone that he is indeed the fucking man with a dominating performance against the Wizards. and that fucking dunk. did you see it? overrated my ass.

-The Hawks don't stand a chance. 4 games...unless Atlanta just decides to do themselves a favor and not show up for any more games.
-the Lakers/Nuggets series is gonna end with somebody scoring 200 points. have you ever seen less defense played in a game? it was like watching 2 people play NBA Jams.
-Detriot is looking old. i still think they'll beat the Sixers, but Orlando is totally taking them in the 2nd round.
-Utah vs. Houston = who gives a shit.
-and finally watching Chris Paul will always remind me that the Hawks could've had him and passed him up for a guy that they traded away. and this is why they are gonna get swept in the 1st round while Chris Paul marches on and is possibly the league MVP. if i cared about the Hawks it would be enough to make me cry. oh yeah watching that Dallas/New Orleans game was like watching the torch not being passed by Jason Kidd but fucking stolen out of his pocket as who the greatest point guard in the NBA is.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Maybe They WIll Have Better Luck Defending The Dome

So Georgia State is gettin' a football team. they're supposed to start playing in Division IAA in 2010 and they'll play their home games at the Dome, also i just learned their mascot is the Panthers. i'm gonna enroll in school and try to walk on.
on another note, that really is the worst fucking logo i have ever seen in college athletics. who the fuck designed that? that panther looks like something you'd see on some kids pajamas. they're gonna have to step it up in the graphic design department.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Positive Vibes Friday: Braves Win! Braves Win!

Game 7 of the 1992 Playoffs. there's a reason why the name Francisco Cabrera will always hold more weight in Atlanta Braves lore than the names Gary Sheffield or Fred McGriff. it is the single greatest moment in Atlanta Braves history, even more so than the first World Series appearance or the 1995 World Series Championship.

oh wait, nevermind. Major League Baseball is totally gay and all the clips of Sid Bream sliding in to score the winning run in the 92 playoffs have been deleted. Francisco Cabrera will only be aloud to live in my heart and not on youtube.

my positive vibes have just turned negative.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

gettin' pumped

here's the 1st trailer for NCAA FOOTBALL 2009. i'm totally gonna drop 400+ bucks on either an XBOX 360 or PS3 as well this game as well as whatever other cool shit i need when this comes out later this summer. i'm almost as pumped for a system upgrade and the newest instalment of my favorite video game franchise as i am for the new football season.

The Falcons should get Chad Johnson

so Ocho Cinco has turned into a real asshat of late. saying he wants to get traded, calling up Sportscenter and crying on air about his situation, telling Carson Palmer to stay out of his business, and finally saying he's not showing up for any camps or meetings and that he wants to be on another team by draft day. all of this is starting to remind me of Terrell Owens...which is to say, time to get yourself a top flight wide receiver for dirt cheap because the team he plays for can't take it anymore. i really think the Falcons would be well served to send one of their second round picks to the Bengals in return for the services of Mr. Chad. he's worth the trouble he brings by giving the fans a star to cheer for and the jersey sales. the Falcons already dropped the ball once by signing Michael Turner instead of drafting Darren McFadden, don't fuck it up again by passing on an elite wideout in the prime of his career who could bring some legitimate star power to a team that has none.

Do You Think I Can Rock a Pair Of Bo Jackson Trainer Dunks?

Nike is coming out with some Bo Jackson inspired dunks. which makes no sense to me at all, considering Bo didn't play basketball and his been retired for a long ass time now, but whatever. i still might get a pair.

Gloating Never Gets Old

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I Hope They Keep Emmitt Forever

so for anyone who witnessed Emmitt Smith in action last season as an analyst for ESPN, we got some rare treats in the art of the English language. now i will admit that my spelling and use of punctuation totally sucks...but then again nobody pays me to write this blog. Emmitt is paid to talk on television and give his in depth analysis on the game of football. the only real analysis he gives is that he didn't go to class much when he was at Florida.

some of his top quotes from last season.

"Wade [Phillips] inherit this success."
"And when defense felt my will, it was a total different game then."
"And then he come back and throw another pass and he drop it."
"This team have not played confident football in three weeks."
"He gets the ball over to their third read than most quarterback can."
"Mike Martz have this offense rollin'"
"He's gonna be the guy Tom Brady look for on third downs."
"He turn around and go deep on Dre' Bly"
"The leadership definitely have to come from the leaders."
'The Packers don't has a running game."
"That offense does... do look good."
"Don't worry about the game you just won or the team that we just blew out... uhhh... blown... blown out... Let's think about what we need to do going forward, and they had... blown out."
"That can be a swing their way eventually. I just hate to be the team that they winned it against"
"Brett Favre went into Dallas nine times and have a big goose egg."
"I love those style of play that the Tennessee Titans bring to the game."
"I'm concerned about a guy who fall down before get hits."

the top 3.
3. "You cannot change the stripes of a leopard."
2. "What happened tonight, the strength of the Patriots team got debacled."

and the greatest one of all time:
1. "Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage."

awesomeness. i hope Emmitt gets some draft coverage airtime so more fine lessons in speech can be given to the youth of America.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


catch the fever bitches! the Hawks made the fucking playoffs for the first time in ages, ending the NBA's longest drought. now it's onwards to get swept in the 1st round by the Celtics. hey, if you guys had just drafted Chris Paul this might've happened sooner and you might have a chance of getting out of the 1st round...just saying.

but seriously, these guys have no fucking chance against KG and the Celtics. it's gonna be ugly. like 4 straight blowouts ugly.

fucking baseball.

if this was 1999, then Atlanta would have the best pitching staff in baseball. but it's not. The Braves continue to lose games by one run. their pitchers are all an ancient and fragile lot. and the Phillies and Mets look to be better built for the long hall. and then of course the Marlins continue to defy logic and win games with triple A players. fuck it. every body's just trying to get paid.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Nobody Told Us That Charlton Heston Was Dead

peace out Chuck. somebody just told us you was dead and so i will pour a forty out for you sometime in the near future. Chuck was batshit crazy and mad for guns, but he did fight those damn dirty apes and for that we will always love him.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Positive Vibes Friday: Chomp This

so i admit to having a slight...okay sever negative outlook on life. it's a gift and a curse....kinda like being born in the South. i'm pretty much negative about everything i love. music, movies, books, people, and especially when it comes to the teams i root for in the world of sports. nothing good can ever come of my devotion or dedication to anything...especially a fucking college football team that can't win a national title no matter how many undefeated seasons they have in my lifetime, or a baseball team that chokes in the playoffs for the good part of a decade and a half and now looks to be sliding into irrelevance, or an NFL team that has never had back to back winning seasons. but there have been those rare moments in sports where i was actually thrown into fits of joy and rapture over the outcome of a game or a single play. and so today and every Friday from now on (til i get bored with this or i run out of things that made me happy or can't find the clips i need on youtube) Fridays will be a celebration of the good vibes i've gotten from the world of sports.

and so our inaugural voyage on Positive Vibes Friday.

2007 Auburn/Florida game. aka Wes Byrum is made of ice. so good he did it twice.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Drafting Your Team's Future Salary Cap Disaster (2008 edition)

So the NFL Draft is coming up soon and if you are like me your team has a top 10 pick that is more than likely gonna be either a complete bust or a respectable player with no actual star potential who never really earns that huge signing bonus and eventually he'll end up playing for another team in 4 years and helping that team reach a Super Bowl while your team keeps missing the playoffs and getting more top 10 busts.

Now usually the player most likely to bust is a QB...which makes sense as it is by far the hardest to transition from college to the NFL. the streets are littered with the likes of 1st round draft pick Quarterback busts. Tim Couch, Akili Smith, Rick Mirer, Dan McGwire, Cade McNown, Joey Harrington (oh wait...i forgot the Falcons gave him a fucking job), David Klingler, Andre Ware, Robo-QB Todd Marinovich, Heath Shuler, and poor old Ryan Leaf are all more punch lines than they are Quarterbacks. each of those players probably set back the franchises that drafted them anywhere from 3 to 5 seasons or in the Lions case for eternity as they drafted two of those dickheads. this draft has names like Ryan, Flacco, Henne, Brennan who could all become the next big punch lines for future NFL drafts. this year's draft offers a lot less talent, with only a couple of "sure thing/can't misses" in Darren McFadden, Jake Long, and more than likely Chris Long (even though i don't think he's worth the top pick in the draft...maybe top 10) but after those names it becomes a total crap shoot.

anyways here's my list of the top 10 likely first or second rounders in this year's class who are gonna be NFL busts.

1. Matt Ryan (QB, Boston College)- i think it's been well documented on this site about my overall fear/hatred/disgust at the love and admiration being heaped upon Matt Ryan this year. sometimes i think i am possibly being irrational, but then i think about it and i say, "no you are totally right, this guy sucks" and then i feel better. has there ever been a bigger divide between the opinions of most college football fans and NFL draft experts on the skill level of a player? "he makes all the throws" is the argument i always hear for Matty Ice. really? so 19 interceptions in a crappy ACC equals making all the throws. ok. let's be totally objective. is Matt Ryan as good as Jay Cutler? No. how bout Matt Leinart? nah bra. Brady Quinn. nope. Eli Manning, Phillip Rivers, Vince Young, or the guy everyone tries to compare him too Ben Roethlisberger? hell fuck no. so why is he being considered a top 5 pick worth risking the future of your franchise on? he isn't. i have a huge problem with taking a player as the number one pick in the draft after his senior season that wouldn't have even gotten drafted in the first 4 rounds if he'd gone pro as a junior. your stock doesn't improve that much in one season. anyways i've said enough about Ryan the past few months and honestly as long as he's not a Falcon then i could give a shit, but Ryan is always in my heart gonna be a bust until he shows me otherwise. and by shows me otherwise he has to win a fucking Superbowl like Eli did. really, i just think he's gonna end up the next Alex Smith and ask the 49ers how they are feeling about that pick.

2. DeSean Jackson (WR, California)- this year's Ted Ginn. more of a return man than a true wide receiver. a great value if he dropped to the 2nd round, but not worth the money you'd have to throw at him in the 1st round for Jackson to return punts...unless he becomes the next Devin Hester, which he won't.

3. Leodis McKelvin (CB, Troy)-maybe i'm wrong about this guy, but Troy got torched by the big time schools they played and i don't remember ever even hearing about this guys name until the combine. a big question mark for sure.

4. Fred Davis (TE, USC)- probably won't be a 1st round pick but likely will be the top tight end taken, so he's worth mentioning. let's see, skill player at USC who caught balls. so far they don't have much of a track record in the NFL. avoid.

5. Limas Sweed (WR, Texas)- did nothing his senior year. played in a conference with no corners. got shut down against Oklahoma.

6. Vernon Gholston (DE, Ohio State)- the classic example of a guy having the physical gifts but i don't actually believe he'll produce in the NFL.

7. Dan Connor (LB, Penn State)- okay seriously, if this guy played for Michigan State or Indiana would would even know who he was? awesome, so you are a slowish white Linebacker who can tackle slowish running backs in the Big 10. congratulations here's your huge check. have fun sitting the bench behind this 5th round pick we got out of Middle Tennessee State two years ago who make 400 thousand a year and leads the team in tackles. can you make sure the Gatorade buckets stay full? thanks.

8. Devin Thomas (WR, Michigan State)- a receiver from Michigan State, in the NFL. you mean like Carlos Rogers? nuff said.

9. Ray Rice (RB, Rutgers)- won't be a 1st round pick, but his name will get him taken a lot higher than he should go. i'm willing to beat he won't even make the team that drafts him.

10. Chad Henne (QB, Michigan)- got worse every year during college. is their some law that says all Michigan QBs must be drafted in the NFL? he's not the next Tom Brady. probably not even the next Brian Griese.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Vegas Baby

found this on my favorite Auburn blog, the goldmine.

The Vegas odds on winning the BCS title for 2008 for the top SEC teams.
Florida 6-1
Georgia 7-1
LSU 15-1
Auburn 40-1
Alabama 50-1
South Carolina 75-1
Arkansas 100-1
Kentucky 100-1
Tennessee 100-1

Kenny, you better call your bookie tonight and start laying it down on Florida.

i can't believe that Kentucky is getting the same odds as Tennessee. no love for Croom or Nutt.

Oh Memphis, You're Killing Me

and so it really was all about fucking free throws. i really hate it when the talking heads are right about something...cause you know that's all anyone will talk about today. free throws. fuck.

well the universal law that states that any team i root for is going to lose in a championship game still holds true. Memphis pulled one of the biggest choke jobs in the history on the NCAA tournament by giving up a 9 point lead in the final 2 minutes of the game, including a three at the end to tie it up. you could see the collapse coming as soon as Dorsey made that pointless foul near the end of the game that started Kansas on their run. and then of course all those missed free throws. once it went into overt time it was all but over. you could see that Memphis knew they'd snatched some defeat from the jaws of victory and Kansas was singing Rawk Chawk JayHawk or what the fuck ever.

whatever, the Memphis players shoulda been smoking blunts with Three Six Mafia after the game but instead they'll just have to settle for counting their millions in the NBA.

basketball blows. when does football start again?

Monday, April 7, 2008

Tonight, Memphis Be Rollin' Like Some Pimp Ass Champions

Tonight The Memphis Tigers will be too much for Brandon Rush and his Scottie Pippen fade. i predict the Tigers take it to the Jayhawks and win by at least 12. Derrick Rose will have 25 points. Chris Douglas-Roberts will have some sweet dunks. Dorsey will block all your shots and send Chaka Kahn back to Croatia or where ever the fuck he's from and basically it's gonna be awesome and we'll listen to Three Six Mafia until the sun comes back up.

expect a lot of this tonight.

or this

and then some of this

The Night The Fire Went Out In Paris

apparently some protesters in France put out the Olympic torch. how does that actually count as protesting? i used to do shit like that in highschool except it was called vandalism or being an asshole.

have they started playing football in the Olympics yet? no. okay, then i don't give a shit.

A Great Way To Spend A Sunday

spent Sunday at the ballpark watching the Braves play the Mets. Smoltz vs. Santana. it was a total pitchers duel for most of the game and then a homer by Teixeira in the 8th put the Braves on top for good. the bullpen still kinda sucks, even though they saved the game. too many walks. too many hits. Kotsay is an upgrade at centerfield this season. the guy makes plays, can hit, and has a fucking cannon. Escobar is gonna be a star. i really like this Braves team if the starting pitching stays healthy (minus Hampton). Smoltz looked good. the Braves took 2 from the Mets this weekend to climb into a tie for first. and best of all i had good seats on a nice cool day and got to see some good pitching and a win. best way to spend your sunday ever.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Bracket Busters: Bracket Now Officially Busted

so last night i sat down hoping to watch to really competive games between 4 really good teams and instead i got two final four motherfucking beatdowns. have you ever seen a team just got their ass handed to them the way North Carolina did by Kansas? if you are a Kansas fan then i'm sure you are on cloud nine after getting revenge on your old coach. Kansas and are now both offically over the hump.

well now i am officially out of the money so all i got say is, go Memphis go!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

losing touch with my mind

things that are not awesome.

1. working on saturdays

2. baseball rainouts

3. the music of Steve Seagal (or is it actually super awesome? you be the judge)

Friday, April 4, 2008

it's Friday, you off work early, your ass ain't got shit to do

...other than watch some Battlestar Galactica tonight, you big fucking nerd. and then go get your drank on at the Go Bar and watch a bunch of assholes try to spell words at a drunken spelling bee. that's how we do in the ATH. and then tomorrow you get up and drag your hungover ass down to go watch the Dawgs play in the G-Day game. not me, of course. i'll be at work tomorrow doing online resaerch into voodoo witchcraft trying to come up with the perfect curse to put on Knowshon Moreno's dancing, scoring, and tackle breakin ass. enjoy your weekend kids. i'll be watching the Final Four and then off to Atlanta on Sunday to see the Braves take on the Mets.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Dear Mike Hampton, You Suck.

that's right Braves' fans. Mike Hampton is already hurt and he hasn't even thrown a pitch yet. i won my bet. he strained a pectoral warming up before the game tonight...or some shit like that. fucking Hampton. the world's most expensive cripple. WORST.SIGNING.EVER.

oh yeah, The Braves lost to the Pirates...again. 1-3 to start the year. fuck. i know it's a long way to go, but this is not a promising sign.

Hey, It's the NIT Championship Game Tonight. Who Knew?

Ohio State is playing UMass tonight in MSG for the NIT title. UMass upset Florida, preventing a rematch of last year's national title. which is probably for the best as Florida might have had to claim Columbus as the Gators' satellite campus if they beat OSU in another title game. so i guess this means Ohio State might actually be able to win a championship finally. even if it is an NIT championship.

My Open Love Letter to Kodi Burns

Dear Kodi,

my name is Justin Robinson. i am a life long (and long suffering) Auburn Tigers fan. i understand that you just finished up Spring Football at Auburn and are currently locked in a battle to be the starting QB for my favorite team next season with some dude from junior college that nobody outside of the state of Kansas has ever heard of, despite the fact that you helped lead Auburn to a victory in their bowl game.

i just wanted you to know that i am fully endorsing you as Auburn's starter for the 2008 season here at my blog A Lifetime Of Defeats. i know you are absolutely thrilled.

Kodi i have spent the last 7 seasons cursing and cheering the names of Jason Campbell and Brandon Cox, the two players formerly holding your spot, and i would love nothing more than to be able to heap my joy and scorn onto your name as well. i have not been as excited about the prospects of an Auburn QB since back when Dameyune Craig was leading our team into battle. Craig was a do everything kind of player that i see you in the same mold of. in Auburn's new spread offense i can imagine you putting up some eyepopping numbers both passing and running the ball. i actually just completed a season of EA Sports' NCAA football on playstation with you as the starting QB and using Troy's spread offense playbook...and well, we'll just say the word Heisman and leave it at that. not to put any pressure on you or anything, but 3000 thousand yards passing and 900 yards rushing with 55 total touchdowns were my final season stats. and belive me, if you can put up those kind of numbers in the pesky real world, well, you might find yourself sleeping on piles of money and women in a few years.

anyways, just wanted you to know you are the guy most Auburn fans i know want to see out there on the field and hopefully you keep outshining the rag armed JC quarterback that Tony Franklin is in love with and coach Tuberville gives you the full time job himself. ok, well good luck and don't get hurt when two-a-days start this summer.

your pal,


piles of money dude.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

My 300th Post... actually something i posted when i first started this site and posted on my other blog as well. but i like it, so i am posting it again.

in the growing age of controversey over athletes using performance enhancing drugs i think that it's time to stop the witch hunt and start looking at the source of this whole problem. it's time that we faced up to the fact that Captain America is the one to blame. i know that may not be a popular stance to take, especially in a time of war when many Americans feel the need to cling to symbols of freedom, honor, and the American Way...but facts are facts. Captain America is the original 'roider.

a brief history lesson for people who weren't nerds in middle school or are just unaware of popular culture: Captain America started off as a pretty normal guy. During World War II, a young Steve Rogers tried to enlist into the military, but was turned away due to his frail and sickly body. Steve Rogers was given another chance to serve his country though, as a General overheard his rejection and offered him a chance to fight the Nazis by being a part of a top-secret experiment. Steve agreed. He was given a super-solider serum and was blasted by radiation. After the process, Steves body was no longer sickly and frail but the pinnacle of human perfection. (in other words they gave the motherfucker steroids) Granted it was to fight the Nazis not crush 450 foot homers, but still he was running around kicking Nazi ass with some shrunken balls. and the US Government was totally complicit in the whole thing.

Flash forward to kids growing up in the 60s, 70's, and 80s with dreams of being heroes on the baseball diamond and so they start taking their own super serum. So yeah, basically Stan Lee and Marvel comics owe the fans of Major League baseball a big apology. Captain America needs to start running a disclaimer on the cover of every issue and a astrick should be attached to all back issues that are ever reprinted. and the media needs to get off the backs of all the guys who were just doing what America's greatest superhero has been doing for the past 65 years...except for Barry Bonds. fuck that guy.

Drinkin' Some Haterade

so Pedro is on the DL, again... (wait for it) hahahahahahahahahaha!!! whatever, he was throwing 86 mile and hour meat to the Marlins and getting shelled before he hurt his leg. they are probably better off without him. kind of like the Braves would be better off without Glavine. Pedro is fucking done. the guy can't throw with any power anymore and he can't stay healthy. fuck the Mets. you get what you pay for.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


so Glavine made his home opener start and pitched ok...if only for 5 innings, giving up only one earned run. but then the bullpen came in and got shelled. the Pirates carried a 9-4 lead into the bottom of the 9th and then just decided to walk every fucking Brave who came up to bat, until Chipper drove a couple of guys home, and then with two outs Brian McCann hit a lazy pop up that Pirates' left fielder Jason Bay just ran past and let hit the ground which drove in the tying runs and then it was off to extra innings where the Braves finally lost 11-12 in 12 innings. what a fucking marathon. that's the most baseball i've watched in years.

some thoughts
Glavine isn't gonna win more than 10 games this year...especially if he's only gonna pitch 5 or 6 innings a game
Short Stop, Yunel Escobar, is gonna be a star.
Chipper has still got it, now if only he can stay healthy.
The Braves need to get someone besides Matt Diaz to play left field, i mean the guy works hard and whatnot, but he really should be a guy coming off the bench.