Tuesday, October 8, 2013

What Happened One Night In America Is All You Ever Need To Know About Atlanta Sports

Where once there was a feeling of optimism and hope, now there is only despair. 30+ years or rooting for Atlanta sports teams has taught me one thing more than any, how it feels to fucking lose.

The Braves suffer yet another heartbreaking defeat in the post season and are now 18 years removed from winning a World Series. The 2013 squad were a team that renewed my interest and love in the Atlanta Braves. They are young, full of potential, had the most dominating bullpen in baseball, hit a shit load of homeruns, and were fun to watch most of the year....but like so many Braves teams that came before them all of the things they did well during the year vanished when it came crunch time. that Atlanta was able to hit 1 meaningless homerun against the the Dodgers after leading the NL in 4 baggers for the year is exactly what you would have expected to happen. having one of your most reliable relief pitchers give up what would be the game winning homerun just 6 outs away from pulling off an upset in LA and sending the series back to Atlanta with all the momentum in the Braves favor is exactly what you should have expected to happen. going home early again is exactly what you should have expected.

The Falcons have gone from a Super Bowl contender to a fucking disaster that will be lucky to win 6 games. Those 10 yards shy of winning the NFC seem 100s of yards away now. a trash heap offensive line, a useless defense, and some of the most boneheaded coaching moves you will ever see has sunk the 2013 season just 5 games in. there are so many negative things i could say about this Falcons team, but i am not gonna waste the blogspot space. the Falcons need major changes if they want to ever win a championship. in the NFL you have the shortest of windows and Atlanta's in closing fast.

2 franchises linked in geography and their ability to mutually let down their fanbase on a yearly basis. Let the yankees burn Atlanta to the ground again and let's just start all over.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

The Best Movie Of 2013 That Almost No One Saw and/or Liked: Only God Forgives

Hey girl, do you like violence?

2013 still has all the important fall months left for the Oscars to decide who they are gonna give a pointless trophy to but not a single one of those movies that gets nominated is going to be the masterpiece that Only God Forgives fucking is, truly the best David Lynch movie not made by David Lynch since David Lynch made Lost Highway. This is an utterly bizarre film that most people will hate, including seemingly every critic that exists.

It is brutally violent, completely weird and nonsensical, and pretentious as fuck...BUT i loved every goddamned arty oddball second of it. this is an all or nothing kinda experience and it will really depend on how you feel about mood vs. story telling. this movie is ALL mood and style not-unlike Drive but it doesn't have cool scorpion jackets or electro pop, instead it's just RED RED RED everywhere and dread, so much motherfucking dread.

Ryan Gosling is Julian, a heroin dealing member of a Bangkok crime family, all silent and brooding with major mommy issues thanks to Kristin Scott Thomas (the real star of the film) as the vengeful overbearing mob mother who is out for blood against Vithaya Pansringarm, the samurai-like sword wielding cop who delivers brutal Punisher style justice against the members of Julian's crime family when he's not out at the bar singing karaoke. Gosling's character is just doomed to be caught in the middle of these powerful forces of revenge.

it makes sense that Nicolas Refn Winding dedicated this movie to Alejandro Jodorowsky cuz it's got more in common with El Topo than it does with DriveOnly God Forgives makes Drive look like the Fast & Furious in comparison.

not for everyone, this is a love it or hate it film. and i FUCKING LOVED IT. destined to be a cult classic. 5 nihilistic stars.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

My Favorite Albums of 2012

I don't even pretend to follow new music anymore. It isn't because I don't think people aren't still making music worth paying attention to or I am stuck in my ways or any of that other shit....ok maybe it's some of that, but honestly it's just that i have become really fucking lazy in my old age. also trying to decipher what the average record review is actually saying about the record it is reviewing is like trying to explicate a poem and i just have no time for that....BUT through the power of osmosis and from the recommendations of trusted allies I occasionally stumble upon new music that i enjoy.

Here are MY FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2012 in no particular order.

Every goddamned album Ty Segall put out this year. 
Ty Segall and White Fence- Hair
Ty Segall BandSlaughterhouse
Ty SegallTwins.
Ty Segall is one prolific motherfucker. Dude puts out a new album like every couple of months.  i am convinced that it is because he believes the world actually IS ending in 2012 and he wants to make sure every kickass song he ever wrote gets heard before an asteroid smashes into the planet and robs of the chance of hearing anymore quality jams from the bastard son of Nirvana's Bleach and Marc Bolan's psychedelic glam stomp. Ty Segall is running this psychedelic garage rock shit right now and i am good with that. if the world doesn't end i hope he's got another half dozen more records in 2013.

Slug GutsPlayin' In Time With The Deadbeat 
Slug Guts are an Australian band carrying on the proud traditions of their grandfathers The Birthday Party and Pussy Galore with an unholy amount of post-punk noise and deathrock rattle. i always just assume the Mad Max movies are documentaries of everyday Australian life…it’s the only way to explain why they do fucked up rock n roll better than everyone else.

The WalkmenHeaven
my relationship with the Walkmen is turning into a sort of old married couple. the passion of the Bows & Arrow days might be gone and we don't fight and cry much anymore...but i know i can still count on them in the end. they are dependable as fuck. no bullshit. just great songs that you can lay around in bed and listen to. they put out an album, i buy it, i enjoy it, they put out another one and so on and so forth until the end of time.

VincasBlood Bleeds 
Athens, GA's best band put out probably my most listened to album of year. a gumbo mix of The Scientists' swamp rock boogie, Suicide's drone, and Scratch Acid's weirdness. rock music the way it should be. Dirty, Sleazy, and Noisy as fuck.

The MenOpen Your Heart 
the most straight up ROCK record of 2012 is all fucking balls and no fucking bullshit.

the post-rock scene doesn't have to be all emotional Explosions In the Sky Friday Night Ligths episodes... it can also be a dance-y instrumental space rock party that doubles as a soundtrack for Blade Runner 2: Blade Runnerest.

CrocodilesEndless Flowers
Crocodiles are still pretty much a Jesus and Mary Chain cover band...but it's not like i am complaining. originality is fucking overrated. i love this glossy overblown shoegazey noise pop shit. this was my Summer soundtrack.

Wild NothingNocturne
my need for 4AD-ish shoegazey dreampop was fulfilled in 2012.

State ChampionDeep Shit 
this album actually came out at the end of 2011...but fuck it! i didn't hear it until 2012 and so i am gonna put it my list anyways. This is pure hillbilly garage rock n roll that's drunk as hell and has a lot of shit it wants to get off it's chest. these are some Kentucky boys that just wanna play you some sad ole' country songs but they can't help it if their amps are stuck on Dinosaur Jr. it reminds me of a time when Americana didn't automatically equal boring as fuck indie rock with some slide guitar added in for effect. if you are a fan of Uncle Tupelo, Whiskeytown, Steve Earle, The Replacements, and good honest American Rock n Roll then this is a record for you.

Sic Alps- Sic Alps 
White Fence- Family Perfume vol 1&2
the best psychedelic garage rock records that Ty Segall didn't make. good job dudes, i love Syd Barrett and the Olivia Tremor Control too.

Pop. 1280The Horror
goth, No Wave, noise rock, 3 guys 1 hammer, film noir, PiL records, and songs about dogs.

Moon DuoCircles
droney psych and krautrock influenced shit that sounds like Spacemen 3 covering a Silver Apples record.

SpiritualizedSweet Heart Sweet Light
i like Spiritualized, so as long as J. Spaceman can not die of cancer or drug addiction he is always gonna get a spot on a year end list.

Terry Malts Killing Time
kick ass catchy ass fuck power pop with the fuzz pedal cranked in the red. 

Psychedelic garage rock with a healthy mix of Wire's Pink Flag

Cold Showers Love and Regret
a gloomy post punk record that sounds like it was made by  kids who are just now discovering music by The Sound & The Chameleons or who think it's been enough years since Interpol was relevant that now was as good a time as any to steal their schtick. but as i say around here all the time, originality is overrated....which is good cuz ain't nothing original about this album. that's just fine with me, Cold Showers understand how to write a catchy gothy little pop song. check it out if you are into that sorta thing.

Sex Church Somnambulist 7 inch
another band mining the 80s post-punk era for inspiration. droney/noisey garage rock trying it's hardest to sound like Swell Maps and The Wipers. killer. one of my favorite discoveries of the year. 

TEEN In Limbo
produced by former Spacemen 3 member Sonic Boom (aka Peter Kember), which makes a lot of sense because this sounds like a Spectrum album with a member of the Shangri-La's singing over it. In Limbo is an interesting combination of new wave keyboards, atmospheric dreampop, and the 60s girl group sound. it's just a wonderful mix of styles and influences i can get behind. other than having a band and record name combo that would probably get you some sketchy ass google search results, this is an excellent album.