Suicide Watch (2008): Week 4

To quote the cinematic masterpiece that is Bad Boys, "This shit just got real."

let's see you've got Auburn with a woeful offense and a spectacular defense at home hosting their biggest divisional rival of the last decade (Sorry Bama, but LSU tends to win games from us now and again) who happen to be the defending national champions and oh yeah it's also the College Gameday "Game Of the Week" and all this madness will be a night game. do you think this might be big for Auburn?

so Auburn finds itself still ranked in the top 10 after one of the worst games in the history of college football that i've ever forced myself to sit through. LSU is coming off a couple of blowout wins against crappy teams that tell us next to nothing about the Bayou Bengals. both teams are in similar situations with the QB position. Auburn is starting junior college transfer Chris Todd and has back up Kodi Burns on the bench who most fans would like to see. LSU has a transfer from Harvard who should probably be running their scout team. behind him is an unremarkable redshirt freshman and also a true freshman with some speed and athletic ability that most of the fan base would like to get in there and see some action. both teams have very and fast and talented defenses loaded with some NFL caliber players. and both teams like to run the ball.

Auburn is pretty tough against the run, even if LSU has great backs and a huge line they'll have trouble running it down the throats of Sen'Derrick Marks and Tray Blackmon. and so if LSU is gonna win most likely it'll have to be in the air. LSU has an advantage with their receivers. Brandon LaFell and Demetrius Byrd will be playing on Sundays and Tridon Holliday is one of the fastest players in the nation. Auburn has a good secondary but it's very thin because of the injury to Aairon Savage. that means when LSU goes into their 3 and 4 receiver sets some true freshman will be asked to cover the speedy Holliday and that could be trouble.

so you thought Mississippi State was tough, huh? well how do like a pass rush full of first and second round draft picks? Tyson Jackson, Ricky Jean-Francois, Kirston Pittman, etc. times infinity....those are the men that Chris Todd might be seeing in his nightmares this week. to win this game Auburn has to protect the QB and they can't get stupid penalties that will cost us valuable yardage. in a game with two defenses this loaded every fucking yard is gonna matter. sacks, false starts, and holding penalties will bury any hope Auburn is gonna have. like Auburn, LSU's biggest weakness is their secondary, but unlike LSU, Auburn hasn't shown itself to have the play makers to take advantage of this. everyone has been talking about Mario Fannin becoming that superstar player who can make special things happen, if ever there was an oppurtunity for a breakout game it would be now. the usually reliable Auburn rushing attack can't seem to understand exactly how important it is to hold on to the football and not give it back to the other team. hopefully Tommy and his coaches have fixed that this week. but in all honestly, Auburn HAS TO PLAY KODI BURNS!!!! in this game to keep that LSU defense on it's heels.

i've bitched about the shitty offense that our Spread Eagle system has been producing all week....so i will spare myself and you the reader the time and effort. this is the do or die week. LSU has one of the most talented defenses in the nation. it's not gonna be easy to get points regardless of the offense we run, but if the Tigers continue to turn the ball over and fail to move the ball down the field they will lose this game.

as far as coaching goes, i think Tuberville is better even if the Hat has balls for brains, but i fully blame last year's loss on Tommy. that squib kick at the end of the game put LSU in great field position to score and asked way too much of our defense. so no more squib kicks damnit!

all in all this should be a great game. i expect it to be close all day, low scoring, and it more than likely is gonna come down to field goals and special teams play. my prediction, 14-10.

potential for tragedy: 10. i don't care about the recent history of home teams always winning, that doesn't mean shit. LSU is still one of the most talented teams in the country and the way Auburn has been playing so far this season it'll take some luck to pull out a win Saturday night.

method of suicide: drink yourself to death. a bottle of booze washes those tears away and then you pass out on the couch and choke on your own vomit.