Thursday, September 4, 2008

10 things i wish for in the 2008 NFL Season


1. It's a Silver and Black kind of season as The Raiders are the surprise team of the NFL thanks to the superb play of JaMarcus Russell and Darren McFadden going 12-4 and winning the AFC West, sparking a return of Raiders Starter jackets and West Coast Gangster Rap. Eazy E smiles approvingly from the grave. Ice Cube quits acting and reforms N.W.A. with Mc Ren and Dr. Dre and all is right in the world. Bo Jackson's hip finally finds peace.

2. The Cowboys go 15-1 in the regular season. Romo throws for over 40 touchdowns and T.O. catches 20 of them (thereby making my fantasy team totally rule) and they lose at home again in the 2nd round of the playoffs to a Wild Card team.

3. Brett Favre and the Jets don't win more than two games (both against the Pats) all fucking season. Aaron Rogers throws 30 touchdowns and mails Favre a bag of popcorn and a Rogers jersey for Brett to wear while he watches the Packers in the playoffs.

4. L.T. has a career ending injury and all those douchebags in your fantasy keeper leagues shed tears of pain because their reigns of terror are finally over (ok, career ending is harsh...maybe just let him have a really bad year).

5. Donovan McNabb finally quits bitching.

6. The Falcons fight hard in every game but only win once and get the number 1 pick in next years draft and use said pick to take Andre Smith or whatever the top offensive tackle is in next year's draft.

7. The Patriots go 8-8 and miss the playoffs.

8. Adrian Peterson breaks the single season rushing record while also finding a cure for AIDS and ending the War in Iraq. he then retires from football and becomes President Obama's Secretary Of Everything Awesome.

9. The Lions and Cardinals BOTH make the playoffs. minds are blown. brains are melted.

10. The Raiders beat The Saints in a 48-45 shootout to win the Super Bowl.

2 comments:

caddy said...

but you know if the falcs get the no. 1 pick they'll just fuck it up.

jrsuicide said...

true, they'll probably just take a cornerback or something equally as dumb.