Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Hawks Announcer Is Not A Dwayne Wade Fan

Hawks' radio announcer, Steve Holman totally going off on Dwayne Wade last night. basically calling him and whiny superstar bitch. hilarious.

My TOP 7 Favorite Names For the 2009 Kentucky Derby

1. Atomic Rain- that sounds like an 80s punk band from LA.

2. I Want Revenege- how could a horse with such an aggressive name not be the favorite?

3. Desert Party- ain't no party like a Dubai party. i hope that horse is owned by some rich ass sheik.

4. Flying Private- could be the name of an R. Kelly song about having sex with your lady in a private jet.

5. Advice- really? that's the best you can come up with? it's so pointless and bad that it's actually awesome.

6. West Side Bernie- this would be the title of a Weekend At Bernie's remake with Ice Cube and Ice T in the rolls originally played by Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman and the corpse of Tupac as Bernie.

7. Pioneer Of the Nile- sounds like a 30s style adventure novel or a lost Indiana Jones movie.

Time To Fire Bobby Cox?

the man is an ICON of Atlanta sports. he helped turn what was once the laughing stock of the National League into THE TEAM of the 90s (other than the fucking Yankees!)...but over the past couple of seasons, and this one in particular, i just don't think Bobby is the man for the job anymore. i'd really hoped he was gonna retire after last season, but i think because of the Braves playing so poorly he wanted to come back again this year and turn it around. going into this year Atlanta looked to have it's strongest team in years. the pitching staff was rebuilt, the bullpen appeared to be solid, and the line up (although not scary at all) was somewhat respectable with Kelly Johnson, Chipper Jones, and Brian McCann. but here we are, a month into the season, and the Atlanta Braves find themselves hovering around .500 and not looking like a playoff contender at all.

the starting pitching has been solid but the fucking bullpen has had trouble keeping games close and the lineup that Bobby trots out there every night can't produce runs. some of this has been bad luck, McCann's eye issues are something noone can control and because of his absence Chipper has become a non-factor because noone will pitch to him. Garrett Anderson has so far been a total bust, leaving left field the same useless hole that it's been for the past 5 seasons.

but even with the injuries and lack of production from players, it's the Braves lineup that has most fans confused and frustrated. WHY in the Hell does Bobby have Kelly Johnson batting leadoff when he's been the Braves best power threat this season? Why is Casey Kotchman hitting cleanup when the guy has NO POWER WHATSOEVER? all he's doing is eliminating the threat of Chipper. why is Jordan Shafer STILL batting 8th? why aren't the Braves trying to play small ball and manufacture some runs? why have they only stolen 4 FUCKING BASES ALL SEASON? dude, Ron Gant and Fred McGriff aren't walking through that door. Make some changes goddamnit! what you are putting out there every night isn't producing results. a Little League coach could put together a better lineup than Bobby. something needs to happen quick or this season will be over by the end of May.

I love and respect Bobby Cox to death but i'm getting the feeling that he just has no idea what he is doing anymore OR even worse he's so fucking set in his ways that he refuses to make adjustments. the 90s are fucking over, the Braves are just another team now...stop protecting sacred cows. it's time to let Bobby Cox go and see what someone else can do.

Ride Or Die 2009, The Video

Video evidence of the "Tiger Prowl". i hope some creative Auburn fan out there in the land of internets takes the footage of the War Hummer and cuts it with some highlights of Auburn's 2010 recruiting targets and then sets it to the crunkest dirtiest southern hip hop jam they can find.

it should be noted that this video is beyond boring, i just love the opening shot of the stretched Hummer rolling up.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks HawksHawksHawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks HawksHawksHawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks HawksHawksHawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hakka Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks Hawks

So I sat down for Game 5 expecting to get another dose of the Dwayne Wade Phantom Foul show and instead ended up getting a surprising Hawks victory. Apparently 83% of teams who win game 5 in a 2-2 series tie go on to win said series...I'm assuming that David Stern will figure out a way to make sure Atlanta falls into the 17% group. (Math correction...thanks JD. In the spirit of Marvel comics, you win a No-Prize.)

Also it should be noted that Dwayne Wade used to be my favorite player but with all his flopping and acting like a big fucking baby in this series we are now officially on a break. I mean Wade flops so much you'd think he played his college ball at Duke.

Go Hawks. Let's wrap this shit up so we can go get swept by the Cavs. Oh yeah, and no more fucking missed dunks.

PURE RANDOM: The Robot Uprising Has Begun

In Sweden a robot attacked and almost killed a factory worker. and just in time for the new Terminator movie. stockpile your weapons and canned foods...shit is about to go down.

here's the article if you are too lazy to click over

A Swedish company has been fined 25,000 kronor ($3,000) after a malfunctioning robot attacked and almost killed one of its workers at a factory north of Stockholm.

Public prosecutor Leif Johansson mulled pressing charges against the firm but eventually opted to settle for a fine.

"I've never heard of a robot attacking somebody like this," he told news agency TT.

The incident took place in June 2007 at a factory in Bålsta, north of Stockholm, when the industrial worker was trying to carry out maintenance on a defective machine generally used to lift heavy rocks. Thinking he had cut off the power supply, the man approached the robot with no sense of trepidation.

But the robot suddenly came to life and grabbed a tight hold of the victim's head. The man succeeded in defending himself but not before suffering serious injuries.

"The man was very lucky. He broke four ribs and came close to losing his life," said Leif Johansson.

The matter was subject to an investigation by both the Swedish Work Environment Authority (Arbetsmiljöverket) and the police.

Prosecutor Johansson chastised the company for its inadequate safety procedures but he also placed part of the blame on the injured worker.

everyone better go out and buy this book today.

honestly though...this is what we deserve for building this.

MY 1000th POST!!!

who says i can't stick with anything?

sadly i've got nothing to write about today...i mean i'm glad the Hawks won the other night, but i don't actually believe they are gonna win this series...and as for the Braves, well they are part of the logjam of mediocrity that is the NL East. i've said plenty about the Falcons lately and Auburn is in the middle of their Limo Ride Recruiting Hunt 2009 and i've already said my peace on that as well. yeah we are about to hit a dead period and my brain is all out of thoughts i'm gonna be lazy and recycle (for the earth).

so for my 1000th post i decided to just repost something i wrote when i first started this blog back in 2007. WHY CAPTAIN AMERICA IS TO BLAME FOR STEROID USE IN SPORTS.

in the growing age of controversey over athletes using performance enhancing drugs i think that it's time to stop the witch hunt and start looking at the source of this whole problem. it's time that we faced up to the fact that Captain America is the one to blame. i know that may not be a popular stance to take, especially in a time of war when many Americans feel the need to cling to symbols of freedom, honor, and the American Way...but facts are facts. Captain America is the original 'roider.

a brief history lesson for people who weren't nerds in middle school or are just unaware of popular culture: Captain America started off as a pretty normal guy. During World War II, a young Steve Rogers tried to enlist into the military, but was turned away due to his frail and sickly body. Steve Rogers was given another chance to serve his country though, as a General overheard his rejection and offered him a chance to fight the Nazis by being a part of a top-secret experiment. Steve agreed. He was given a super-solider serum and was blasted by radiation. After the process, Steves body was no longer sickly and frail but the pinnacle of human perfection. (in other words they gave the motherfucker steroids) Granted it was to fight the Nazis not crush 450 foot homers, but still he was running around kicking Nazi ass with some shrunken balls. and the US Government was totally complicit in the whole thing.

Flash forward to kids growing up in the 60s, 70's, and 80s with dreams of being heroes on the baseball diamond and so they start taking their own super serum. So yeah, basically Stan Lee and Marvel comics owe the fans of Major League baseball a big apology. Captain America needs to start running a disclaimer on the cover of every issue and a asterisk should be attached to all back issues that are ever reprinted. and the media needs to get off the backs of all the guys who were just doing what America's greatest superhero has been doing for the past 65 years...except for Barry Bonds. fuck that guy.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


i like to imagine that while Auburn coaches are riding around the state of Alabama in this sweet ride that they are listening to this jam.

so 7 Auburn coaches are gonna be out and about on their 1st ever "Tiger Prowl" (which when you sub the word Tiger for Cougar, sounds kinda like what hot ladies in their 40s do) selling the Auburn program to the top recruits in the state of Alabama. which is you know, like awesome and stuff. i mean, rolling up to some 16/17 year old kid's house in a white limo with an AU logo on the side is the sort of ridiculous stunt that might very well impress a possible recruit. all i really hope is that they can find some future NFL talent, because watching last weekend's draft was a painful reminder to me that as far as recruiting and developing talent goes...Auburn has totally fallen off. just looking at the 2004 and 2005 recruiting classes (aka the ones that would've been directly influenced by the 2004 SEC Title and undefeated season we are all so proud of, Auburn hasn't been doing so hot at doing much with that talent.

the 04 class only had four 4 star recruits. 1 of them got drafted last year (Pat Sims) and the other 3 (Leon Hart, Tony Bell, & Lemarcus Rowell) either never made it to campus or never played a roll for the Tigers at all. members of that class who did make it to the NFL were Tyronne Green (who was a 2 star DT) and David Irons. Tristan Davis and Brad Lester were also members of that class that went undrafted this last weekend and are still waiting to receive free agent contracts. that's a pretty fucking terrible recruiting class if you ask me.

the 05 class had eight players with a 4 star grade or higher (Tray Blackmon being the lone 5 star and most notable bust in recent memory) and of those players None have been drafted and only Montez Billings, Tommy Trott, & Gabe McKenzie are still members of the team and i can't imagine any of them are locks to be NFL players. all the players from that class who were drafted were 3 stars or lower and include Jerraud Powers, Jonathan Wilhite, and Sen'Derrick Marks (who was a 2 star)...but that's it. just 3 players. there are still some guys from that class who contribute to the team like Aarion Savage, Walter McFadden, & Antonio Coleman and each of those 3 may very well have an NFL future but considering that was Auburn's recruiting class following their greatest season in school history...well you gotta say to all these claims that Tuberville quit recruiting look pretty valid.

whatever this new coaching staff does, they need to find some NFL talent again...or it's down to the cellar for Auburn. i mean fucking San Jose State had as many players get drafted as Auburn did this year.

upgrading to a stretch Hummer is a good start...i hope. althought you guys really should've thought about a hybrid.

also for the safety of our coaching staff i hope Saban isn't planning on busting out the BAMA Tank again.

Thoughts About the 2010 NFL Draft

ESPN already has their projections for the top 10 picks in the 2010 draft and no surprise Mel Kiper has Oklahoma QB, Sam Bradford listed as the number 1 overall player. that's the same thing he said about Matt Leinart, Brady Quinn, and Brian Brohm going into their senior seasons, who each plummeted in their respective drafts. it should be noted that Mel had Louisville QB, Hunter Cantwell listed as a possible 1st rounder last year and he didn't even get selected at all last weekend. what does all this say really? it says that a Mel can't predict the future (although he did say Matt Stafford would be a #1 pick coming out of kudos) and it also says that if you are draft eligible and someone wants to take you in the 1st round you need to say, "So long coach, thanks for everything...but i'm gonna go get paid."

why any college player stays in school is sort of beyond me...unless your draft stock isn't that good (PJ Hill, what were you thinking?). loyalty is great and all but it sure as shit doesn't pay the bills. an example is Auburn cornerback Jerraud Powers who left the Tigers after his junior year and most fans (myself included) couldn't understand why. Powers himself said he didn't think going back to school would help his draft stock much and he ended up getting the last laugh when we was drafted in the 3rd round by the Colts...much higher than any Auburn fans or draft "experts" predicted. had Powers gone back to school this season he could've MAYBE been an All SEC selection and jumped up to the 2nd round...or he could've lost his starting job to the seemingly more talented Sophomore Neiko Thorpe or gotten injured and risked not being drafted at all. you just never know what the year of college football can bring you...just ask Sen'Derrick Marks who was a Playboy Pre-Season All American and ranked as the top defensive tackle in the 2009 draft before the 08 season started and then ended up getting drafted at the tail end of the 2nd round. or how bout LSU's DT Ricky Jean-Francois who was also thought to be a 1st rounder and then fell all the way to the 7th. both of those players stock was hurt because of inconsistent play last season and poor performance by each of their teams.

Sam Bradford had to be watching the draft on Saturday and thinking to himself that he just passed up on 41 million dollars guaranteed when he watched Matt Stafford put on that Lions hat and hold up his jersey with Roger Goodell. Hell Josh Freeman might've been the smartest kid in this entire draft when he decided to go pro and somehow ended up in the 1st round because there weren't any QBs worth a shit drafting after Stafford and Sanchez. never assume that Number 1 is gonna wait for you...there could always be a Matt Ryan waiting in the weeds to come along and steal your thunder, Brian Brohm can only nod his head in acknowledgment.

one final thought about next year's draft and then i'll stop talking about it.

which of these guys do you think would make a better QB?

QB rating of 183.2/ 6,390 yards passing/ 67 tds to 9 int/ a 66% completion rate


QB rating of 124.73 8,078 yards passing/ 44 tds to 34 int/ a 59% completion rate

that's Tim Tebow's 3 year stats (only 2 of those were as a starter) vs. Josh Freeman's 3 year stats (all of those as a starter) not to mention Tebow has won 2 national titles and a Heisman and Josh Freeman went to the Texas Bowl once. but yeah, Tim Tebow is gonna be a Tight End in the NFL and Josh Freeman is gonna be the future of the Tampa Bay Bucs. i'm calling bullshit on that.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Falcons Draft, Final Thoughts

other than the fact there were armed cops walking around with machine guns and shotguns on campus this morning (just in case the Psycho Killer UGA Prof who murdered 3 people just a couple of minutes from my house decides to show up to work today) it's been a pretty awesome Monday. the NFL Draft came and went and now it's time to bitch and moan and scream for joy at your favorite team's moves..

my thoughts about each of the Falcons draft picks and then some lists of players i felt like they shouldn't have passed on.

1st Rd. Peria Jerry, DT Ole Miss. = AWESOME!!!!

2nd Rd. William Moore, S Missouri. = AWESOME!!!

obviously i am super excited about both of these players because they were the top 2 guys i had on my Friday wishlist/projection. and anytime i am ever right about something then it's gonna make me happy. they filled their 2 most obvious holes and added players who will start next season. i felt like each guy was the best player available at their position going into this draft and it's hard for me to say i would have preferred another player at either spot...but as for rounds 3-7....well i'll just say i am glad we made that move to get Tony Gonzalez.

3rd Rd. Chris Owens, CD San Jose State.

i saw this guy play once ever in some random game on ESPN vs. Nevada and he got torched by the wideout he was covering on 2 straight plays...after that i know nothing about this guy.

Here's another example of an undersized corner who can get pushed around at times. Owens, however, is an effective drag-down tackler who can limit receivers' production after the catch. He also has the ball skills to develop into a playmaker.

other players they could've drafted: Jerraud Powers, CB, Auburn. Tyrone McKenzie, LB, South Florida. Kaluka Maiava, OLB, USC. Henry Melton, DE, Texas. DJ Moore, CB, Vanderbilt.

4th Rd. Lawrence Sidbury, DE Richmond.

i saw him play in the Division IAA play offs and he looked like a beast against the lower level competition...but i'm just never going to be a fan of the Falcons drafting guys from small schools, not when the SEC produces the best defensive players in the country and there were plenty of guys available. i don't think this was a bad pick at all...i fact Sidbury will more than likely be a player who sees a lot of time on the field next season at either linebacker or defensive end...especially in pass rushing situations. i wouldn't be surprised if he and Jamaal Anderson don't form a rotation with one another. but still i didn't jump for joy at this pick.

other players they could've drafted: Gerald McRath, LB, Southern Miss. Tyronne Green, G, Auburn. Terrance Taylor, DT, Michigan.

5th Rd. William Middleton, CB Furman.

another small school player. i honestly know nothing about middleton so i don't have much to say. he could be a gem, he could get cut. the Falcons seem to love collecting questionable cornerbacks.

ESPN says:
Middleton possesses prototypical size for a cornerback. His strengths include overall ball skills and the ability to be effective in run support. However, some tightness in his hips creates some concerns about his ability to limit separation.

other players they could've drafted: Colin Brown, OT, Mizzou. Nic Harris, S/LB, Oklahoma. Brandon Hughes, CB, Oregon State. Jasper Brinkley, ILB, South Carolnia. Marcus Freeman, OLB, Ohio State.

5th Rd. Garrett Reynolds, OT North Carolina.

obviously Atlanta needed to add some depth on the offensive line and a player the could develop to be a starter. i love Reynolds size 6 foot 8 & 310 pounds. but there were a 2 lineman available at this spot who were both more productive in this spot. Herman Johnson the huge guard from LSU and Duke Robinson the All American guard from Oklahoma that would've made me more excited. still tackle was a need so i'm not gonna cry my eyes out about this pick.

other players they could've drafted: Duke Robinson, G, Oklahoma. Herman Johnson, G, LSU.

6th Rd. Spencer Adkins, ILB, Miami.

linebacker was a position of need, right behind safety and defensive tackle. so why did Atlanta wait until the 6th round and then draft a player who lost his starting job to a freshman and plays the same position as last year's 2nd round pick Curtis Lofton? i don't get this pick at all. i'll be shocked if he even makes the squad. i would've much rather seen them take Georgia linebacker Danelle Ellerbe who at least has some boom potential.

ESPN Says:
Atkins lacks instincts and it's going to take some major repetitions for him to catch on. He also has durability issues. However, he is a quick-twitched athlete who possesses above-average range.

player's they could've taken: Jarius Wynn, DE, UGA. Stephen Hodge, OLB, TCU. Danelle Ellerbe, LB, UGA.

7th Rd. Vance Walker, DT, Georgia Tech.

a good pick up in the 7th round. they snag a local kid who can help add some depth to the line. i have nothing bad to say about this, BUT i think they should've just signed this kid as a free agent and instead drafted LSU defensive tackle Ricky Jean-Francois...a player who was the MVP of the 2006 national title game and was originally thought of as a 1st round talent who could've played at either tackle or defensive end for the Falcons and i think was a steal in the 7th round.

ESPN says:
Walker plays with a mean streak and is relentless at the point of attack. However, he needs major work on his technique and doesn't move well laterally.

players they could've taken: Curtis Taylor, S, LSU. Mike Mickens, CB, Cincinatti. Manuel Johnson, WR, Oklahoma. Ricky Jean-Francois, DT, LSU. Captain Munnerlyn, CB, South Carolina.

here's Atlanta's list of rookie free agent signings.

Clemson wide receiver Aaron Kelly
West Virginia offensive lineman Ryan Stanchek
Missouri linebacker Brock Christopher
Alabama quarterback John Parker Wilson
San Diego State quarterback/wide receiver Darren Mougey
Northern Arizona punter Robbie Dehaze

the only guy on this list that i like is Kelly from Clemson to help out in the return game.

Auburn Draft Reaction

so the weekend came and went and after it was all said and done 3 former Auburn players were taken in the 2009 NFL Draft. Sen'Derrick Marks in the 2nd round to the Titans, Jerraud Powers in the 3rd to the Colts, and Tyronne Green in the 4th to the Chargers. all 3 players were taken higher than Mel Kiper projected and all 3 are likely to see time next season for their respective teams.

Powers is the player i am most happy for as a lot of fans were wondering why he even declared for the draft. i had assumed he would be a 5th or 6th round selection, so when i saw his name pop up on the screen early Sunday morning it put a smile on my face.

some other Auburn players received free agent contracts, as Tez Doolittle will get a shot as a Seahawk and Rod Smith will be joing Green in San Diego. Brad Lester and Tristan Davis have as of now not been given offers that i am aware of. it's hard to imagine that Davis won't get invited to someone's camp for a tryout as a returner and special teams player with his speed.

Bama Bangs To Invade Hotlanta

watch out ladies...this haircut is hitting the big city.

John Parker Wilson is now an Atlanta Falcon.

let's go with one of JP's greatest hits to celebrate this signing by the Dirty Birds.

To quote Steven Colbert, "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Pray to whatever god you worship that he protects Matt Ryan.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Half Assed Attempt @ a Day 2 Liveblog

I'm pretty sure the Jets will just boo anyone. I'm also 100% sure that none of these guido douchebags have ever seen any of these kids play a single down of college football. Granted I think Shonn Green is gonna be a bust (although him being a 3rd rounder sorta takes him out of the bust category) but I know these idiots don't know who the fuck he is...much less that he rushed for 100 yards in EVERY SINGLE GAME last season.

Mel Kiper compared Mark Sanchez to Chad Pennington (before the arm injury)...I'm not exactly sure how the Jets feel about that.

Auburn players I'm hoping to see get drafted today: Jerraud Powers, Tez Doolittle, Tyronne Green, Brad Lester.

So there are about 5 tight ends that are about to get drafted. Cook, Ingram, Coffman, Nelson, & Travis Beckum.

With Marks already drafted last night my number 3 wishlist pick for the Falcons, so I will alter that pick to be Roy Miller the DT outta Texas, Ricky Jean Francis from LSU, that other linebacker from USC whose the Rock's nephew, or Antoine Caldwell the center from Bama.

The Cowboys just drafted a linebacker that I've never fucking heard of from a tiny school. Jerry Jones is just as clueless as Al Davis...he's just more savvy with the media.

Chris Carter fucking blows. Listening to him and Trent Dilfer hate on everyone makes me want to jab knives into my ears.

Listening to these guys talk about the Bengals reminds me that Kenny Irons career is more than likely over. Sad sad sad.

The Bengals just landed Michael Johnson from Ga Tech. What a steal in the 3rd round. I think so far the Bengals have had the best fucking draft of any team. All 3 of their guys started off this season as projected 1st round picks and all of them have huge BOOM potential. Suddenly they seem like a legit threat for the 2010 season.

49ers just snagged Glen Coffee of Bama. Mel loves this pick.

You know I've been thinking about Pat White with the Dolphins and I say fuck the Wildcat. They should just run the goddamn option.

ESPN thinks Michael Crabtree is a dick. I'm sick of their obsession with diva receivers. Being a dick is not a character issue, getting arrested is a character issue. Who cares if he wears his hat sideways? Tom Jackson hates young black men with any hip hop style. He and Bill Cosby should hangout. Fuck you ESPN. Crabtree isn't a fucking thug. He never got in any trouble at school and he is an awesome wideout. Shut the fuck up! I mean seriously, ESPN just makes up bullshit to fill their airtime and cause controversy and I am fucking over it.

The Giants just drafted an Egyptian.

Asher Allen is a Viking...another team whose draft I really like. They got Percy, a giant in Phil Loadholt, and a good corner. Solid solid solid.

Patrick Turner just got drafted by the Dolphins. He's gotta be the biggest college bust of any USC receiver. Why the fuck would you take him in the 3rd round? That dude sucks. Mike Williams and Dwayne Jarrett now have some company.

Titans got a good pick with Jared Cook.

Uhhhhh...who the fuck is Christopher Owens? I'm not a big fan of teams taking cornerbacks from small schools. If you were gonna draft a cornerback why not take DJ Moore from Vandy over some dude from San Jose State? Whatever the Falcons 1st two picks were strong enough for me not to get to down on this pick.

Another Auburn player got picked, Jerraud Powers to the Colts. He'll be a nickleback in the NFL.

A point was just made that kind of blew my mind. There've been 4 UConn players drafted and not a single player from the U. Kinda crazy to think about regardless of how bout Miami has fallen off.

Bill Cosby and Quan Cosby is my favorite pointless non-story of this draft. Bill Cosby has become crotchety in his old age. He seems so annoyed by Erin Andrews. Its a good thing she is hot because she sucks at interviews.

Rashad Johnson is a total steal in thr 3rd round for the Cardinals. And the Bengals are putting together the best fucking draft in years with Chase Coffman.

I fucking hate Trent Dilfer. Dude you sucked as a QB. The Ravens won a Super Bowl in spite of your no talent ass...not because of it.

Top 5 worst QBs who have won a Super Bowl

1. Trent Dilfer, Ravens
2. Jeff Hostetler, Giants
3. Doug Williams, Redskins
4. Jim McMahon, Bears
5. Brad Johnson, Bucs

Stephen McGee just got drafted in the 4th round? Huh? Obviously this is just the Cowboys taking a Texas kid, but I never thought that kid was any good in college. Also what's Todd McShay's lovefest with Brian Hoyer? That anyone would draft him is ridiculous. He was shitty in college and he won't play a down in the NFL.

Mike Goodson from Texas A&M is another 1 of those college players who was supposed to be a star and now he's gonna probably be a punt returner for the Panthers.

Jaws is gonna attack Todd McShay for not agreeing with him about some random ass DIAA qb that nobodys ever heard of and is never gonna play in the NFL.

uhhh...Falcons took another dude i've never heard of with their 4th pick. he's an end so that's a plus but still i am uninspired by this selection. Lawrence Sidbury from Richmond? apparently he's pretty fast for a big guy and he is smart, but yeah i am less than thrilled.

Erin Andrews is a terrible actress. and annoying the hell out of Bill Cosby and me as well.

Another Auburn Tiger off the board. Tyronne Green to the Chargers, joining former Tiger Marcus McNeil. War Eagle.

Falcons 5th rounder is William Middleton from Furman?! who the fuck is he? why the fuck are they taking all these small school players? this draft is starting to turn sour for me. FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 5 Steals of the 4th Round

1. DJ Moore, CB, Vandy to the Bears
2. Shawn Nelson, TE, Southern Miss to Bills
3. Louis Murphy, WR, Florida to Oakland
4. Tyrone Greene, G, Auburn to Chargers
5. Andre Brown, RB, NC State to Giants

Jeff and I are both predicting Ellerbe to be the next Atlanta pick. the fact that the Falcons haven't taken any linebackers is a bit odd to me.

i thought Jarett Dillard was gonna be a 1st rounder after his season 2 years's so amazing how draft stock on receivers rises and plummets from year to year more than any other position. if anything it's the number 1 reason that you should ALWAYS leave as soon as you are eligible following a productive season. ALWAYS.

4 interesting picks in a row for the 5th round: the Vikings got Jasper Brinkley from South Carolina was awesome when he wasn't hurt. Rhett Bomar to the Giants could be an interesting project to develop behind Eli. that guy was the #1 QB coming out of highschool in 2004. i think he'll be a better pro QB than Josh Freeman for sure. and then James Casey, the tight end from Rice, who was a pass catching machine this year...he could be a steal for Houston. and another player who i think could be a huge BOOM is former Florida tight end Cornelius Ingram aka the freak who was awesome his junior year for the Gators and then got hurt and didn't play last year. he has 1st round talent and the Eagles will total turn him into a weapon.

Marcus Freeman is off the board, as much as i don't like Ohio State players in this draft, i wouldn't have had an issue with Atlanta taking this guy.

come on linebacker...take a fucking linebacker Atlanta,'d be nice if i'd actually heard of him and he played somewhere that i consider a good football team.

....Nope they took an offensive tackle from North Carolina named Garrett Reynolds. dude is 6 foot 8 and i assume they'll put him at right tackle, if they were gonna go lineman i would've rather seen them draft Duke Robinson the All American guard from Oklahoma or Herman Johnson the HUGE guard from LSU. again i am not stoked about this pick.

i'm starting to wonder if any more Auburn players are gonna get drafted. i really don't like Brad Lester's chances...which is sad because i always thought he could be a good NFL back. Tuberville totally screwed him at the end of last season.

speaking of runningbacks that probably won't get drafted, is there even any hope someone might take Ian Johnson from Boise State? it's sad for me to think that the kid who gave us one of the most memorable moments in college football history won't get a shot in the NFL.

Carolina drafted big Duke Robinson...aka the lineman Atlanta should've drafted. damnit!

two Clemson safeties go back to back. was Clemson's defense even that good last season? i don't believe so.

FUCK! Herman Johnson for LSU is off the board. i was kinda hoping the Falcons could maybe get lucky with him next round.

the 49ers picked up Ball State QB Nate Davis who had the two most amazing flame outs at the end of the season vs. Buffalo and Tulsa after starting the season undefeated. with that shitty QB situation out in San Fran would anyone be surprised if this kid has to play next year?

and so the 5th round has ended and so time for some useless list making...

Top 5 Steals of the 5th Round

1. Cornelius Ingram, TE, Florida to the Eagles
2. Duke Robinson, G, Oklahoma to the Panthers
3. Herman Johnson, G, LSU to the Cardinals
4. Jarrett Dillard, WR, Rice to the Jaguars
5. Rhett Bomar, QB, Sam Houston State (former Oklahoma QB) to the Giants

and with Atlanta's 6th round pick they take an inside linebacker from the U named Spencer Adkins. he played linebacker at Miami...normally that's the sort of thing that makes me happy, but honestly this day 2 nonsense has me ready for a nap. i'm gonna go eat. fuck it. i'll wrap all this shit up later with a final post tonight.

the final draft pick for the Falcons is Vance Walker, a big DT from Ga Tech...a good depth pick, still i would have been more thrilled if they had picked up Tez Doolittle from Auburn or Ricky Jean Francios of LSU at the tackle position...but whatever.

so the 7th round is almost done, the only real question for Atlanta would be if someone will trade the Falcons a 7th rouner for Mike Vick's rights....yeah right, that's not fucking happening.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I Am A Wizard

The Falcons selected Jerry and Moore just as I predicted/wished/hoped they would. Obviously you guys have been reading my blog. So give me a job, I've got lots more amazing ideas.

Anyways I'm super stoked about both picks. Atlanta got the best defensive tackle and safety in this draft and they got them at steal spots. They can both step in and start for the Birds next year. Good fucking draft. Now keep my streak going tomorrow.


2nd Round Liveblogging

Uhhh the Lions just took some dude I've never even heard of from Western Michigan. Maybe they tried to save money on scouting and are only gonna draft and scout players from here on out that are from the state of Michigan.

I can't believe the Patriots passed on Ohio State's overrated gang tackling son of a wrestler.

Luckily the Rams were there to pick up New Englands slack. BUST!

Brian Robiskie to the Browns. BUST! So the Browns have taken a center and a shitty wideout with theie 1st 2 picks. Suck!

I can't believe that 2 Wake Forest defensive players have gone off the board ahead of Ray Maualuga. Keep falling baby, if Brown or Ray could somehow drop to Atlanta that would rule.

Does Dhani Jones even playing for the Bengals anymore? I thought he had a tv show?

Speaking of Bengals, they just snagged Maualuga so I can stop bitching about him being available. Man, the Bengals have gotten some killer players at steal spots.

Listening to Berman talk about Pat White is pissing me off. You've never seen him play douchebag. Fuck the Wildcat! He's a fucking quarterback. That being said I'm totally happy if he gets drafted in the 2nd round. He's by far my favorite non-Auburn college football player of all time and more than anything he's a fucking winner.

At the beginning of this season if you had told me that 2 Boston College defensive tackles would be drafted ahead of Ricky Jean-Francais and Sen'Derrick Marks I would've laughed in your face...and yet it has become reality.

Keep falling Everette Brown! Falcons could use you. Big time!

ESPN is taking way too many goddamn commercial breaks. Dude, I'm not gonna buy a truck or start drinking Coors Light. Speaking of Coors Light, is that the official Dad beer? Everyone I know's father drinks that shit.

Yes I am sort of excited to see Star Trek, not nearly as much as Wolverine...but still.

Pat White is gonna be running the Wildcat for Miami...or Bill Parcells is gonna cut him. Someone explain to Berman and Keyshawn that the Wildcat and the Spread are not the same thing. If they wanna use Pat White as their Wildcat QB isn't he really more of a read option threat? Regardless I'm happy for him that he's a 2nd rounder.

The way this draft is playing out the Falcons might actually have a shot at my 2nd round prediction of Mizzou safety, William Moore.

So if the Wildcat can work in the NFL why can't the spread?

My mind is still fucking blown that Oakland drafted Heyward-Bey. WORST PICK EVER.

Oh wait now Oakland took a safety from Ohio...a player that Mel didn't have even rated as a player who was gonna even fucking be drafted!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!? It's so depressing that it's amazing. If I was still a Raiders fan I would shoot off my fucking face.

Apparently this is the greatest center draft ever. 3 dudes in the top 50. I don't think I've ever seen that maybe centers go that high ever.

Massaquoi to the Browns. Way to go kid. I guess this spells the end for Braylon Edwards in Cleveland.

The Cowboys just passed on their pick? Nevermind, they just traded it to the Bills.

Man I need to do some dishes.

This draft liveblog nonsense is making my wrists hurt. Once Atlanta makes their 2nd pick I think I'm gonna drop this bullshit and head downtown to get drunk and watch the bike crashes, that is unless I get shot by Athens at large psycho gunmen professor.

LeSean McCoy is going to the Eagles. Good fucking pick, I'm calling him a 10th round pick in my fantasy draft next year.

Come on Falcons! William Moore! William Moore! William Moore! No whammies. Hell Yes! I nailed both of their 1st 2 picks. That's right, I am a motherfucking Wizard.

Alright a good 2nd round...still more picks to come and now I am out of her. Looks like it's doubtful any Auburn players are going day 1, which should be the most telling reason that we went 5-7 and is proof the recruiting has taken a nose dive as this was the senior class following Auburn's undefeated season.

nevermind...just as i say that The Titans jump in and take Sen'Derrick Marks...which is kind of obvious that they need a DT to replace Haynesworth. good for Marks, i was worried he was gonna drop to the 3rd round...i was hoping the Falcons might land him tomorrow, but im glad he went to another southern NFL team.

More draft thought tomorrow.

Liveblogging the 2009 NFL Draft part 2

The Bucs just picked Josh Freeman...hahahahahahaha. retards. He was a shitty college QB and now he's gonna be a bigray maualuga huge bust. The Falcons don't have to worry about them for a long time.

I think Robert Ayers was a bit of a reach, whatever the Broncos are going to fucking suck. Fuck Josh McDaniels in his eye socket, he didn't make Tom Brady and last time I checked the Patriots didn't make the playoffs ast year, 11 wins or not.

Shit, Jeremy Maclin and DeSean Jackson...the Eagles now have 2 burners. I guess that kills any talk of Anquan going to Philly. I wonder if the Eagles are going to the Spread?

Lions took Brandon Pettigrew? I mean he's a good player but I'm surprised they didn't take a lineman like Oher.

If Oher is still there I wonder if Atlanta would draft him?

Is Cleveland just gonna keep trading their picks or are they ever gonna draft someone? oh they are taking a Center with a 1st round pick.

Percy is a Viking. the Vikings are the king of the draft steals, Moss & Peterson and now Harvin. jesus, if only that team could get a fucking QB.

even though i think Oher is probably gonna be a bust im happy for that kid. now he's a KB likes to say, Ray Lewis can mentor him." so when does Blindside 2 come out?

FALCONS!!!!!! who they takin'?

Peria Jerry!!!!! fuck & yes. defensive tackle, yeah! i am stoked.

haha...watching Vontea Davis' white girlfriend get pushed out the shot by his family was fucking hilarious.

it's kind of hard to believe that big Ray is still on the board. as much as i am happy with the Falcons' pick of Jerry i would've been equally thrilled if they'd taken Maualuga.

So the Colts are up next which means whoever they are taking is most likely to be good. Okay, they've got Addai and now they're gonna draft Donald Brown?! What? Overrated.

Steve Young is making himself sound like an idiot callin' UConn and Louisville powerhouses.

Berman is tipping picks again. Noone is stupid enough to think that you are just guessing these picks right you fucking douchebag, we know some cocksucker is telling you who each team is drafting in your earpiece.

So Hakeem Nicks goes to the Giants, I'm pretty sure that kills the Bolden deal to them.

That old school baby blue Oilers helmet is by far one of the top 10 sweetest helmets in NFL history.

I'm sort of shocked that Beanie Wells and Ray Maualuga are both still available.

Kenny Britt?! That's a 1st round reach. I always thought his teammate Underwood was a better receiver than him at Rutgers. The Titans should've traded down or traded the pick to Arizona for Bolden. This draft is making me annoyed as both a fan of college football and things that aren't boring.

So Arizona has gotta be taking Beanie Wells with this pick...right? ......and the Cardinals just drafted Wells. So Edge is done in Zona. He played his ass off in the playoffs so you gotta imagine he's gettin' signed by somebody. With Marshawn Lynch suspended at the beginning of the year maybe The Bills would be a good fit...or maybe the Saints could pair him with Reggie Bush.

Okay now the Steelers up for the last pick in the 1st round. My guess is that they draft Maualuga...but that's probably not a need for them. Or maybe the big defensive end from FSU...or maybe they will just trade this shit.

Death To Berman!

Who the fuck is Ziggy Hood?!?! Mizzou's defense sucked! But it's the Steelers, so you can't question them.

Okay the 1st round is over...No Ray Maualuga? I am shocked.

The fact that 2 centers got drafted in the 1st round sort blows my fucking mind. And USC's All American Middle Linebacker is still available? But what do I know? I'm just a fucking college football fan.

Liveblogging the 2009 NFL Draft part 1

a moment of silence for Matt Stafford who the Lions will completely ruin in less than 3 years...luckily he'll sleep well on a pile of cash and naked lucky little bastard.

Listening to ESPN's experts ramble on about the Wildcat and the Spread offense makes me think none of these NFL guys have watched college football...EVER.

Am I the only person who thinks the way these douchebags are bashing on Stafford and loving on Sanchez is just another example that ESPN are a bunch of USC cheerleaders. How is Stafford being a junior an issue when it isn't for Sanchez especially when Stafford started for 3 years and Sanchez only played 1?

Rumors are flying that Atlanta might trade their pick to the Chiefs to get Glenn Dorsey, which would be kind of ironic since he was the player most all of us were screaming for Atlanta to take last year.

I am annoyed at the douchebag New Yorkers booing Matt Stafford, I realize none of the Jets or Giants fans have ever watched any college football but who really thinks Jason Smith (a guy noone had ever fucking heard of before the combine) is a safer pick than a franchise QB?

Berman shouldn't really attempt to talk about college football at all, he barely knows what's going in the NFL outside of the Bills.

Jason Smith to the Rams. So much for Sanchez taking Bulgers' job.

Steve Young thinks you don't love football.

I love these NFL fan polls like "who do you think will be a better pro, Tyson Jackson or Aaron Curry" none of these assholes have ever fucking seen Aaron Curry play football before. And now Berman has started his annual tipping of the picks. Please fire him.

Aaron Curry cried. He seems like a good kid but all the people saying he should have been the 1st pick are insane. He ain't Lawrence Taylor.

So Mark Sanchez just became a Jet after the Browns traded the pick. That dude is about to be the most laid man in New Jersey. Sanchez just got called out Shelly Smith for her USC Qb stalking. She looks smitten.

Andre Smith is going to the Bengals...I'm sure a team with disipline issues will be a perfect fit. Just kdding, he's a good kid and a good player.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG THE RAIDERS?! Darrius Fucking Heyward Bey?! Over Crabtree or Jeremy Maclin? Al Daivs is a fucking idiot. Someone kill that Zombie now. BUST! Again 40 times beat out scouting reports. Fucking retards!

Poor Crabtree. He's this years Matt Leinart/Brady Quinn/Aaron Rogers.

Listening to Keyshawn talk about people's ego is mindnumbing.

Steve Young just called Keyshawn out for starting the wide out diva trend.

Stop fucking tipping all the picks ESPN! You are ruining this shit.

looks like the 49ers are gonna pick Crabtree. how do i know this? because ESPN fucking showed him on the phone smiling before the pick. stay sucky ESPN.

Steve Young hates everyone...just so you know.

i'm trying to remember when ESPN sucked more drama out of the draft than this year. im looking forward to the 2nd round because they'll have stopped caring.

Knowshon is a Bronco. and Berman makes his lamest joke of the day by saying he was related to Keyshawn because of their first names...and they show the Moreno leap and Berman makes a "Woop!" what a fucking worthless turd.

Redskins got a steal with Brian Orakpo. i'm sure Dan Snyder will try and trade him away for some aging QB.

Beanie Wells looks pissed.

Brian Cushing looks like a douche. STEROIDS! Why is he even at the draft? I thought they only invited guys who were supposed to be top 10 picks.

so does Berman only follow like 4 or 5 NFL teams?

Berman doesn't make any fucking analysis whatsoever...he just rambles on like a fucking idiot. I wish the draft was just Mel Kiper, someone to ask Mel questions (really anyone other than Berman), and then Mort to feed us trade info. Keyshawn is useless and Steve Young is just angry and questioning everyone's love of football.


Here's to your favorite team's future.

Friday, April 24, 2009

For the NFL even considering playing the Super Bowl in London...


Roger Goodell is in serious danger of passing David Stern as the biggest douchebag dictator in all of sports. It was bad enough that he takes the law into his own hands and treats grown as men like little kids being sent to the principals office, but now you want to take the most important sporting event in our country and put it in a country that doesn't care about the sport?!? Fuck You, Asshole!

If you wanna let Goodell know what sort of greedy, asshole, cockgoblin he is then email him at or just call his ass and leave a nice polite voicemail at 1-212-450-2000.

My 2009 Atlanta Falcons Draft Wishlist

so with Atlanta pulling off yesterday's trade for Tony Gonzalez and thereby eliminating any need to take a tight end in the draft i'm mostly hoping that Atlanta goes all defense this weekend...or at least with the first 4 picks. here's my very wishful thinking prediction and/or wishlist for the Falcons 2009 Draft. as usual i went pretty SEC heavy.

1st round- Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi

after passing on Glenn Dorsey last year (thankfully...despite all my crying about it) in favor of Matt Ryan, DT is by far Atlanta's biggest need. Jerry is one of the best tackles in the draft and should be available here. i'll be shocked if Atlanta takes anyone other than him.

2nd round- William Moore, SS, Missouri

Atlanta needs to replace Lawyer Miloy and this is one of the best safeties available in this draft. Moore was projected to be a 1st rounder at the beginning of the season put his production dropped off a lot as a Senior...hopefully he can get it back in the NFL. there's a good chance Moore will be gone when the Falcons are picking here but since this is just a wish list i am gonna hope he falls into their laps.

3rd round- Sen'Derrick Marks, DT, Auburn

like Moore, Marks was originally projected as a 1st rounder but his draft stock has dropped like a stone. Atlanta needs a versatile player who can play both End and Tackle and Sen'Derrick did both of those things i college...even if he doesn't start for the Falcons, Marks could bring much needed depth to the D-Line.

4th round- Herman Johnson, G, LSU

huge guard that adds some much needed youth and size to the Falcons line.

5th round- Dannell Ellerbe, ILB, Georgia

very talented linebacker whose had issues with injury and gotten himself into some trouble with the law at UGA. the Falcons aren't really big on character risks following the Ron Mexico bullshit, but they do like drafting UGA players. Ellerbe could be a great linebacker if he could just stay on the field and out of trouble, i think Atlanta will take him if he's available.

5th round- Derek Pegues, FS, Mississippi St.

he's a playmaker at the free safety position who makes a lot of picks (ask Brandon Cox and John Parker Wilson about him) and he can also help out on punt returns.

6th round- Brandon Hughes, CB, Oregon St
he was 2nd team All Pac-10 his junior and senior seasons, he's got good leaping ability and he's fast. he also worked as a reporter for his school paper which hopefully equals that he's intelligent...i assume.

Another EA sports cover boy who isn't gonna play in the NFL

Brian Johnson is one of the cover athletes for EA's NCAA Football 2010. huh?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Tyrik Rollison can predict the future

it's been a while and i've been having some Tyrik Rollison Facebook update withdrawal but luckily the young man is back on the internet recruiting trail sending messages back and forth with a possible future Tiger, Marcus Lattimore...which was nice of him and and then our young hero dropped this topical update on us:

"Tyrik Rollison is goin' first overall in 2013. You best believe that lol."

have i mentioned that i can't wait for this kid's updates once he makes it to campus?

Falcons make a big move before the draft

The Falcons just picked up All Pro Tight End Tony Gonzalez in exchange for a 2nd round pick next year. This gives the Falcons another weapon for Matt Ryan and even more important it means Atlanta is definitely going defense in the first round...and probably the entire draft unless a tackle falls into their laps.

Remember last year when all I did was whine and complain about every move the Dirty Birds made and said they were run by morons? Yeah well if I could travel back in time i'd kick my own self in the balls. What a jackass.

The Internet: Where Amazing Happens

thanks to Excali Brah for blowing my mind with this.

Auburn's Top 10 Recruiting Targets For 2010

it's never too early to start talking about recruiting...even when the class of 2009 players are still in highschool. today had an article in praise of Auburn's 2010 recruiting efforts along with some video.

Auburn's Top 10 Targets For the Class Of 2010...according to the list is dominated by Offensive lineman and the top 3 runningbacks in the nation.

1. Lache Seastrunk nations #1 Runningback out of Temple, Texas. called Auburn his best visit ever.

2. Marcus Lattimore #2 runningback in the country. said Auburn has a big lead over Georgia and FSU.

3. Michael Dyer nations #3 runningback out of Arkansas. says he loves Auburn and has them at the top of his list.

4. Darius White 5 star wide receiver from Texas. 6 foot 4 with a 4.5 forty. has offers from Florida, Texas, Notre Dame, & Nebraska.

5. Damien Robinson 4 star Offensive Tackle out of Olive Branch, MS. his highschool teammate and fellow lineman Shon Coleman has already commited to Auburn. the OL is obviously Auburn's biggest need in this class and landing the 6-7 330 pounder would be huge. Bama, Arkansas, FSU, & Ole Miss are all in the mix.

6. Lamarcus Joyner 5 star cornerback out of Florida. has offers from everyone Bama, Auburn, Boston College, Cal, and Florida all seem to be near the top of his list.

7. Eric Mack a 4 star tackle out of South Carolina. 6-4, 315 pounds. offers from Auburn, Bama, Clemson, Florida, & Kentucky.

8. Trovon Reed a 4 star Wide Out from Louisianna. has a great visit at Auburn and is friends with Lache Seastrunk. offers from Arkansas, LSU, Bama, & Auburn.

9. James Stone 4 star lineman from Tennessee. offers from the Vols, Bama, North Carolina, Notre Dame, & Auburn.

10. Craig Sanders a 4 star defensive end and one of the best prospects in Alabama. Auburn is apparently near the top of his list with Alabama, Clemson, & Florida.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

This Is What The Hawks Gets For Ripping Off Auburn

the Atlanta Hawks' live mascot is lose in the Arena pearching itself on camera's and the basket. what the fuck?

thank you camera phone.

Who Wants To Be A Draft Bust? 2009 Edition

according to NFL LAW i must post a picture of Ryan Leaf whenever using the words "draft bust".

so with Auburn spring football done and the Braves looking like this lately, i turn all my attention (other than 2nights HAWKS game) towards the NFL Draft. for a college football fan it's a chance to see our favorite team's players move on to the next level, for NFL fans it's a weekend of hope that our team's can improve themselves, for the NFL itself it's a chance to get rid of veteran players who they don't wanna pay and replace them with youth. and for some NFL teams it's a chance to make a really bad draft pick that sets your franchise back and wastes valuable cap space....
and for that it's time to unleash my TOP 10 2009 Potential Draft Busts. i'm limiting the list to players who are gonna be 1st or 2nd rounders. it should also be noted that i picked Matt Ryan as my Number 1 Draft bust last yeah, i have no fucking idea what i am talking about. anyways let the shit talking begin.

1. Josh Freeman, QB Kansas State.

sure he's 8 feet tall and 300 pounds and has a rocket for an arm, but what did that ever do for Kansas State. i am finding a hard team remembering a more overrated prospect who came into college football and accomplished less than nothing (besides beating Texas twice). he left school early, he's a 2 or 3 year project player who will no doubt be forced to start too soon and will be run out of the league in 4 or 5 seasons...tops. to be honest the only memorable moment i can come away with from Freeman's college career would be this little nugget of joy...

as a Falcons fan i am praying that Tampa Bay drafts this kid in the 1st round.

2. James Laurinaitis, LB Ohio State

i've already said enough about him and before the combine i would have had him #1 on my list of likely draft busts...but the hype on Laurinaitis has died down a ton ever since the college football season ended and he stopped receiving his weekly suckjob by The Herbiebot and Brett Musburger. he's still likely to get drafted somewhere near the top of the 2nd round, which is pretty high for a guy who isn't even good enough to start at linebacker for most SEC teams. i've never thought this guy was worth a shit and if his dad wasn't a famous wrestler and he didn't play for THE Ohio State noone would have ever heard of him and he wouldn't even be getting drafted. if Atlanta picks him in the 2nd round then i may shoot my TV.

3. Aaron Maybin, LB/DE Penn State

he's got a lot of potential upside as far as his athleticism goes, but to me this guy is a lot like Stanley McClover. he's too small to play defensive end in the pros and i don't know if hes quick enough to be a linebacker...and also like McClover he left school too early and i can't imagine him being able to contribute for at least a couple of seasons if at all. maybe he's worth a 2nd or 3rd round pick but there's no way in hell i'd take him in the 1st round...much less in the top 15 or top 20 which most all of the Mock Drafts have him.

4. Michael Oher, OT Ole Miss

i'm starting to wonder if Oher was ever really THAT good. when someone writes a book about you while you are in highschool then i think the HYPE far outways the actual player. i like Oher and i DO hope he becomes a great player, but i just never really saw it while he was at Ole Miss. he lacks the strength that you want from a dominate left tackle and likely will wind up at right tackle in the NFL, which is not really worth a 1st round pick...i don't think unless your team is just loaded with talent.

5. Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR Maryland

i mean, dude is fast as hell, but i watched him play a few times in college and he sure as hell liked to drop some passes. there's always huge bust potential at the wide receiver position and Darrius looks to me like the leader of the pack this year.

6. Vontae Davis, CB Illinois

this guy has BOOM or BUST written all over him. he's got great size and speed but he's also got BIG QUESTIONS!!! about his attitude and work ethic, which to me does not equal a 1st round pick.

7. Brian Cushing, OLB USC

your typical GREAT college player who is never gonna do anything in the pros. Cushing was on a great defense for 4 years but was also surrounded with NFL talent at USC. he had a lot of injury issues at USC and then there are also the steroid rumors...which may or may not be true, but they do exist. i'd lump his teammate Clay Mathews into this spot as well. Rey Maualuga is the only one of the USC linebackers i'd be happy with my team taking.

8. Brian Robiskie, WR Ohio State

why is this guy being called a 2nd round prospect? i've seen him ranked ahead of Percy Harvin (smoking weed will fuck up your draft stock, dude), Hakeem Nicks, and Juaquin Iglesias...all receivers i'd be much happier about my team taking. Robiskie only had one 100 yard receiving game in 2008...mostly due to the fact they were breaking in a new QB, but still i can't imagine him being more than just a 3rd wideout on a team...which does not equal a 2nd round pick to me. if he was a 4th rounder then i'd say go for it...but a top 50 pick is just way too high.

9. Shonn Green, RB Iowa

big fat, slow, plodding Big 10 runningback who might be a goal line threat in the NFL but isn't gonna be a feature back. basically he's Ron Dayne circa 2009. plus he only played 1 year of college football.

10. Malcolm Jenkins, CB/FS Ohio State

as you can tell i have no love for any of these 1st day Ohio State prospects. call it 3 straight years of getting owned in big games. Jenkins is too slow to play corner and not strong enough to be a he can't cover anyone...just ask LSU.

I Need a Shot In the Arm to Wake Me Up

one of the greatest opening lines of all time, "In the city there's a thousand things I want to say to you" plus an intro by Tony Wilson who makes a point of calling out elitist snobs. God, i fucking love The Jam!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

ESPN is amazing at wasting time

so ESPN has unleashed on us a Mock Draft of the greatest NFL prospects of all time. John Elway tops their list (no surprise) and they've got 2 former Auburn players going in their fantasy 1st round with Bo Jackson at #7 overall and Aundray Bruce at #13. they do an entire mock 1st round and then included a Top 150 prospects Big Board. this is beyond dorky...and yet this is the sort of obsessive nerdy ass thing i would do if ESPN was paying me. i also like that this draft is based solely on what scouts thought about these players coming out of college and not what actually happened when they got to the NFL. so there's no Joe Montana's or Tom Brady's. so yeah, does something i actually enjoyed, way to go.

ESPN is about to totally fuck up College Gameday

WOW. BIG RUMORS about the fate of everyone's favorite way to start their college football Saturdays as the cast of Gameday is about to get an overhall. apparently Lee Corso and Chris Fowler are about to get replaced by Lou Holtz (DR LOU!!!) and Karl Ravech (huh?) and the Herbiebot is moving strictly to the prime time announcing gig. i shed no tears for the demise of Lee Corso and god knows i hate the Herbiebot, but i don't really get the Fowler thing...he's probably one of the best hosts ESPN has. i assume they decided if they are gonna replace 1 guy then why not replace them all. it's odd that ESPN would fuck around with one of their most successful shows, but then again this is ESPN who obviously doesn't understand what the fans like and don't like. i'd rather see Reece Davis replace Fowler than a guy who does Baseball Tonight...but whatever, my main concern would be what lame former jock they are gonna replace their Golden Boy Herbiebot with. NO JESSE PALMER!!!

Where am i supposed to get my shameless USC cheerleading and my Big 10/Ohio State bias/homerism from? another question, who is Mark May gonna pick on without Dr. Lou around?

in Auburn-ish news, Tommy Tuberville is replacing Bob Davie. thank god. now if only ESPN would get rid of Kornheiser, Berman, & Morgan then maybe the old wounds would finally heal.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Braves & Hawks doing asskickings the right way

the Atlanta Braves & Hawks capped off my weekend for me yesterday with thorough beatdowns of the Miami Heat and Pittsburgh Pirates respectively...and for that i give them both shout outs.

The Braves desperately needed a win to end their 5 game slide and i was happy to see the bats come alive for an 11-1 victory. avoiding a sweep by the Pirates might just be the thing to get this team back on a roll, also Esobar should be returning from his injury today. now the Braves are off the start a series against the worst team in baseball, the Washington Nationals, and hopefully make up some ground in the NL East.

even more impressive were the Hawks who just straight out murdered the Miami Heat in the opening game of their 1st round playoff match up. this one was over by the 1st half as Atlanta jumped out to a 20 point lead and then just ran away with it for a final of 90-64. all the starters had good games and Josh Smith just dominated with dunk after dunk. the defense was awesome and they held Dwayne Wade to only 19. if Atlanta plays like this you gotta like their chances of making this a quick series.