being a Falcons fan is never a thing of joy

So the Falcons were able to somehow steal a win from an Eagles team that is obviously better than them by knocking Mike Vick the fuck out. It's a cheap way to win a game but I'll take it.

But honestly I have no faith in this Falcons squad. The defense sucks. The offensive line can't block. Matt Ryan looks like he's regressing. And Mike Turner looks slow and old. The playcalling is some of the most vanilla ass predictable bullshit in the enitre NFL....especially among teams who are supposedly contenders. And with Tampa being a young and talented team on the rise and Carolina having that Newton fella throwing for 400 yards everygame...well I don't know if I believe that Atlanta is going to be owning the NFC South anytime soon. To me Atlanta is going to struggle to get a playoff spot. The Saints look much better in their first two games than the Falcons did. I see 9-7 or 8-8 as a very real possibility. Hell if they went 6-10 I wouldn't even be that shocked. This team just doesn't seem nearly as talented as a year ago. Sure I know I am the most whiny pessimistic fan a team could ever have, but goddamnit....being a Falcons fan just fucking sucks most of the time. This is the golden age of the franchise and I can't ever see a Super Bowl with the current group of players. No fucking way they could get past The Packers. Hell I don't like their chances with an Eagles rematch either...no matter who Philly has behind center. Young, Kafka, Vick...it doesn't matter, it's McCoy, Maclin, and Jackson that make that machine run. Right now i'd have to put Atlanta behind Green Bay, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Chicago, Dallas, and Detroit as far as talent in the NFC. Yeah Detroit. Who is gonna stop Suh from murdering Ryan? Who can cover Calvin Johnson in the Falcons secondary? Shit I'm not even sure Tampa Bay isn't the 2nd best team in Atlanta's own division. Ughhh. Fuck it. One day I will finally stop caring about this stupid team.

Fucking Shit Fuck

fucking Saints. the sympathy love ran out already. i hope you fuckers get relocated someday.

goddamn shit fuck cock suck motherfucking bastards!

i'm starting to have my doubts on Atlanta's playoff chances.

Misery Loves Company

this

& this


=


it's a good thing i quit playing fantasy football this year cuz my team woulda lost by about 100 points.

fuck football.

The Falcons Won Again?

The Falcons beat The Packers at Greenbay? yes. really? yes.
The Falcons have the top rushing attack in football? yep.
Roddy White has turned into an elite NFL receiver? well elite might be a little strong, but yeah...he's pretty fucking good.
Fucknuts McWhitey doesn't totally suck at football? nope, Matt Ryan actually looks like a for real NFL qb with a damn good arm who runs a no huddle offense pretty well.

the world has gone crazy.

FALCONQUEST 08 hits another snag

The Falcons quest for a Fanger Rang hit another bump in the road as they got they damn ass whooped by the fucking Panthers. i guess Atlanta just needs to ask the league if they can play all their games at THE DOME so we can get this championship season back on track. sadly Fucknuts McWhitey didn't throw any picks. how the fuck is he ever gonna challenge that NFL record if he doesn't toss interceptions in losses? damnit! you are giving me false hope with all these halfway descent rookie performances! actually this loss had nothing to do with Ryan and everything to do with the Falcons inability to get their running game going. Atlanta really could've used this game as they are about to go into the meatgrinder portion of their schedule. oh well, maybe Aaron Rogers is too hurt and the Falcons can upset the Packers....okay, yeah that probably won't happen.

If Only I Was Allowed To Be the Falcons GM on Draft Day

so being a longtime suffering fan of the Atlanta Falcons i am used to 2 things in my life.

1. Losing (we've never had back to back winning seasons EVER much less multiple trips in a row to the playoffs) and...

2. Really underwhelming drafts, mostly populated by overrated players from the ACC who rarely pan out or end up being more trouble than they are worth.

it is frustrating to live in the South surrounded by the best college football in the country and then watch our homestate NFL franchise not draft players from the SEC. this lack of attention to the homegrown talent was never more apparent than in this year's draft when the Falcons opted to sign Michael Turner to a big contract and draft QB Matt Ryan instead of drafting SEC superstars Darren McFadden or Glenn Dorsey, which could only help spark interest from the local college fans who could care less about the Falcons on a year to year basis. i'll admit Turner was a good move, especially when paired with Norwood (Mississippi State product) but you can't tell me that almost every single Falcons' fan wouldn't have rather seen Glenn Dorsey plugging up the d line instead of ol Fucknuts McWhitey back there chucking bombs and picks. they could've sold jerseys for years if they'd waited a year and taken Matt Stafford instead...but yeah, that would've made all the people in Georgia too damn happy.

i'd like to see the management just turn Atlanta into an SEC All Star team...it'd be so awesome...or it would be a horrible failure and the team would suck, but who cares? it's just the Falcons. it can't be worse then what they've been doing for years anyways. and so if i could some how rub a magic lamp and get to conduct the 2009 Draft for the Atlanta Falcons i'd do what all real Falcons fans would like to see Atlanta do, stay in the South and take players almost exclusively from the SEC.

here's my 2009 Mock Draft for Atlanta

Rd Player School Position
1 Andre Smith, Alabama Left Tackle
2 Sen'Derrick Marks, Auburn Defensive Tackle
3 Pat White, West Virginia Wide Receiver/Quarterback
4 Cornelius Ingram, Florida Tight End
5 Brad Lester, Auburn Runningback
6 Kirston Pittman, LSU Defensive End
7 Anthony Parker, Tennessee Guard

so there you go 6 guys from the SEC and Pat White thrown in for good measure...just because i love that guy and think it would be awesome to have him returning kicks playing receiver and going behind center on some trick plays. so yeah, this is not really a list that'll blow your doors off, but it's a lot of really good SEC players who probably won't be busts like all the fucking Virginia Tech corner backs we are prone to take.

Fucknuts McWhitey and Them Falcons Ride Again

The cruelest cocktease of all time continues as the Atlanta Falcons absolutely mugged, shot, stabbed, harvested the organs and sold them online, sucked the marrow from the bones of the Kansas City Chiefs (who aren't just the worst team in football, but may very well be the worst team possible) in 38-14 blowout that wasn't even that close.

Ryan stayed in the under 20 passes range going 12/18 with 192 yards and 1 touchdown. Michael Turner continued to make me pay for drafting Jamall Lewis over him in my fantasy league by rushing for 104 yards and 3 touchdowns. Roddy White had himself a pretty nice game as well with 119 yards receiving, a touchdown, and a back flip. and Jerrious Norwood continued to put up solid backup numbers with 75 rushing and 30 receiving.

Are the Falcons for real? hell no. are they totally unstoppable against really shitty teams as long as they are playing in the Dome? well, i'd have to give that one a big fucking YES!!! if only we could somehow be in the NFC West then this might be an 8-8 playoff team. unfortunately this was the last easy game until we face the Raiders...and who knows what sort of ball of insanity may occur when my two favorite dysfunctional franchises face off out in Oakland?

regardless, this is some encouraging shit....even if the real losing is about to start hardcore with the Panthers, Bears, Packers, and Eagles all coming up next. it was fun while it lasted though.

SUPERBOWL OR BUST!!!

FALCONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST TEAM EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

MICHAEL TURNER!!!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I TAKE YOU IN MY FANTASY LEAGUE OVER JAMMAL LEWIS!?!?!

okay, calm down.

Breathe.

alright, anyways The Falcons looked fucking good yesterday. i was just as surprised as anyone. only Griggs would have faith in a team like Atlanta coming into this year. but after yesterday i might want to retract my 1 win proclamation. the Falcons look like are totally a 7 or 8 win team this year...especially with a schedule that includes the AFC West. Michael Turner and Jerious Norword are as lethal a runningback duo in the NFL and suddenly the offensive line understands the concept of blocking. do you believe in miracles? YES!!! Turner and his huge legs will plow through defenders like paper and Norwood makes the most of all his touches with the homerun threat always there. and i think Mike Smith made it very clear that Atlanta is gonna be modeled after Jacksonville. this is gonna be a running team 1st and if the results are like they were on Sunday, expect Turner to be one of the league leaders this year.

Matt Ryan couldn't have started an NFL career any better. 1st pass, boom! 62 yards! touchdown! RETIRE HIS JERSEY! HALL OF FAME! MIKE WHO? ok okay...seriously dude, calm the fuck down. Ryan looked as good as a rookie QB could in his first ever start. going 9/13 for 161 yards and the 1 long TD. granted he made a couple of stupid passes in the 2nd half that hit Lions defenders in the hands and should've been picks, but still Ryan really just needs to be a game manager as long as the running game is working.

okay, i am a realist. i know that this game was at home, vs. the Lions...who obviously are gonna suck this year like all years. i was impressed that the Falcons midget corners were able to do as well as they did against Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams. the pass rush was excellent, if Abraham can stay healthy then maybe he can Defend the Dome all year. i still think this team is 3 players away from being solid on D. we need a run stuffing tackle, a dynamic playmaker in the secondary, and someone to replace Keith Brooking's old ass....hopefully Lofton can be that guy.

the offense is young and could be really explosive with Norwood and Turner smashing faces and Jenkins and White finally showing why they were high picks after all these years. Harry Douglas really gets me excited with his potential in the slot running reverses and making plays in open space. granted Ryan is gonna struggle, especially in games when the Falcons are behind more than a touchdown and he's forced to throw more than 13 times...but Fucknuts McWhitey might just be worth all that damn money after all...probably not though.

man, that was the best i've felt about a Falcons win since they waxed the Rams in the playoffs. now just 15 more weeks of disappointment to go.

here's Ryan's first TD pass. fucking awesome!

Not bad for a pair of shoes.

The Fucknuts McWhitey Era Begins

so i neglected to comment on this sooner, mostly because i've been trying to ignore the Atlanta Falcons this entire preseason, but new coach Mike Smith has named Matt Fucking Ryan (aka Fucknuts McWhitey) as the Falcons' starter for the opener. what seemed like a potential 4 win club now will dip down towards the 2 win mark. Ryan becomes the first rookie QB to be his team's starter from Day 1 of his career since David Carr...and let us all nod and smile at how awesome that worked out for the Texans. i shouldn't even give a shit because the turds Ryan had in front of him aren't worth taking up a roster spot on most any team in the NFL, so i'm sure Ryan probably WAS the best option. and there are of course those experts who believe it's better to learn on the field than on the sidelines. whatever, i think i've pretty well documented my raging hatred for the drafting and overpaying of this very ordinary looking young QB from Boston College (the team nooone cares about). i guess the sooner Matt Ryan is on the field then the sooner he can go ahead and be a bust and the Falcons can move on to some other shitty QB. thank god i care more about college football than the NFL.

anyways this clip of Ryan getting lit up by Clemson will likely be a common site for Falcons' fans this season.

on a side note: what do you think the the over/under is on number of years before before Griggs makes Matt Ryan his fantasy QB?

some more random thoughts on ole' Fucknuts
- The Falcons have taken away the spot of goofiest ass starting QB away from The Colts.
- when people praise Ryan for his poise and leadership they are really saying, "i'm so glad he isn't some black thug like that last one."
- Matt Ryan threw 19 interceptions as a senior last season. George Blanda holds the record for interceptions in one season with 42. and as much as i'd like to say our boy could equal that stat if given the opportunity i don't actually see it happening. seriously, 42 fucking picks. can you even fathom that?

6 years, 72 Million Dollars

6 years, 72 million dollars. did we get a new offensive line for that?

6 years, 72 million dollars. for a rookie quarterback. Jesus.

6 YEARS, 72 MILLION DOLLARS! FOR A GODDAMN OVERRATED SHITTY ROOKIE QB WHO THREW 19 PICKS HIS SENIOR YEAR!

6 FUCKING YEARS, 72 MILLION FUCKING AMERICAN (thank god it wasn't canadian money) DOLLARS!!!! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!

i hate you Falcons.

i mean seriously, the guy makes more money than Tom fucking Brady. didn't the Falcons hire Tom Dimitroff from the Patriots hoping he'd use some of those famous Pats front office smarts to build us a winner? and what has he done but throw a shit ton of money at a career backup runningback and a rookie qb. it would be fucking funny if it wasn't so goddamn sad.

but seriously the NFL needs a fucking rookie salary cap the same way the NBA has one. if you sign a top 5 pick who is a quarterback your franchise is completely fucked unless you've already got some talent on your team (which the Falcons did a good job of getting rid of in the off season). so yeah, i hope Matt Ryan enjoys counting all that cash while the Falcons come in last place the next six years.

WORST. DRAFT. EVER.

today we few remaining members of Falcons Nation (not affiliated with the National Association of Falconry) are in a state of mourning following this weekends NFL Draft. such high hopes and endless possibility crushed by the weight of lousy picks and a scared front office, too chicken shit to take the best/most marketable player (McFadden) or the safest/smartest pick (Dorsey), and instead go with the overrated QB who wouldn't have even been the top rated passer in any of the last 10 drafts (that includes bust worthy QBs David Carr, Joey Harrington, Tim Couch, Akili Smith, Alex Smith, etc...)that all the east coast media dickheads think is a winner and has character.

uggghhh....if i ever hear the word character being used as the foundation for winning football games again i might start shooting people. the Cowboys have never seemed to get all caught up in bullshit adjectives like character. i mean they had fucking Michael Irving for fucksake...how'd that work out for them? football players win football games. do you believe the Falcons got the best players that were available? i sure as shit don't.

and it wasn't just Ryan, there were reaches all over the goddamn place. they took Sam Baker from USC with a 1st round pick that they got by trading two of their 2nd round picks. picks that they got from Houston and Oakland in the Matt Schuab and De'Angelo Hall trades...so basically they traded Hall and Schuab for Sam Baker...a guy who honestly they could of gotten in the 2nd round. good job. and then there were some of the other players to boggle the mind....

....like Curtis Lofton, a linebacker from Oklahoma. let's see, this is what Scout's Inc. had to say about Mr. Lofton, "Lofton isn't going to wow you with his natural ability; he doesn't have great speed and lacks the athletic ability to match up with running backs in man coverage." Wow! sounds awesome. considering he plays for Oklahoma and i've never really heard about him, despite watching a number of their games last season, i am gonna go ahead and assume he probably wasn't worth a 2nd round pick. they also took a couple of more linebackers i've never heard of, a tight end from LSU who didn't even start, a corner from Arizona that i remember watching get toasted in a couple of games last year, and a safety from California that can't cover. AWESOME. championship season in 3 years. i'm calling it now.

okay, let's play a game called: Alternate Reality Falcons Draft Some Good Players That Could Contribute Soon And Won't End Up Getting Cut or On Someone's Practice Squad.

here are the picks and then the picks that coulda been if i was making them:

Round 1: Drafted Matt Ryan. QB, Boston College.

coulda taken: Glenn Dorsey. DT, LSU.

if you are hung up on character, Dorsey had it in spades, plus unlike Mr. Ryan who gets called a "winner" without having actually won anything, Dorsey helped lead the LSU Tigers to the BCS Championship game and was also a member of the team that destroyed Notre Dame in Sugar Bowl the year before. sounds like a winner to me. not to mention he can stuff the run AND make plays in the backfield, something that Mike Smith knew a lot about with Jacksonville. last time i heard, Defense Wins Championships...not overrated QBs who won't be any good for a couple of years at best. but whatever, i've said enough about this.

Round 1: Drafted Sam Baker. OT, USC.

coulda taken: Brian Brohm. QB, Louisville.

i don't actually think Baker was a bad pick, just where they took him and what they gave up to get him was what i had a problem with. i wouldn't have cared as much if Atlanta would've traded up and taken Brohm, a QB who i actually believe will be a good pro. going into this season he was thought of as the number 1 QB in the country and would have actually been a 1st round pick in last year's draft if he'd left school early, but his stock was hurt because his team sucked more so than what he did. it's not his fault that his defense couldn't stop anyone. he still put up great stats and looked like a 1st round pick to me. he has an injury history, but i think it's worth the risk. he is a smart kid, played in a pro style offense and makes better decisions with the ball than Ryan did. he doesn't have a cannon for an arm, but then again neither does Tom Brady, what he does have is a good mind and an accurate arm and that's enough to be successful in the NFL. but honestly they could have probably gotten Baker with one of their picks at the beginning of the 2nd round and also taken Brohm with a 2nd round pick as well. solving their QB and Tackle problems without giving up as much as they did.

Round 2: Drafted Curtis Lofton. ILB, Oklahoma

coulda had: Quentin Groves. DE/OLB, Auburn.

okay this is a pick made of personal bias, but let's be honest Groves is gonna be a sack artist in the NFL. he's faster than any of the other ends taken in the draft and will be a great outside linebacker at the next level. he has problems stuffing the run sometimes, but he is a playmaker in the pass rush. i predict he'll be a star sooner than later.

Round 3: Drafted Chevis Jackson. CB, LSU.

coulda had: Tavaris Gooden. ILB, Miami.

i actually have no problem with this pick. Jackson will be able to help out as a nickleback, but i think Gooden could be the perfect replacement for Keith Brooking at middle linebacker. he's kinda weak against the run, but he's a hell of an athlete and can make plays against the pass, plus we was part of the 7th Floor Crew at the U and so if it doesn't work out for him with the Falcons, he might be able to contribute to the Atlanta Rap scene.

Round 3: Drafted Harry Douglas. WR, Louisville.

best pick the Falcons made, he can come in a play the slot. has good hands. and if the Falcons had taken Brohm it would make sense to also take his favorite target. i'll leave this one alone.

Round 3: Drafted Thomas Decloud. S, California.

coulda taken: Justin King. CB, Penn State.

so if they hadn't taken Jackson they would have needed to sure up that nickleback spot and King is the best Corner available at this point. the kid has amazing speed and could be a returner as well. at one point he was projected as a 1st round pick, but slipped after the combine. i know nothing about DeCloud other than the fact he's slow and played for a shitty Cal team.

Round 5: Drafted Robert James. OLB, Arizona State.

coulda taken: Frank Okam. DT, Texas.

James is an undersized linebacker who plays for Arizona State...this means i think he sucks. Okam however is a former 5 star recruit at Texas who underachieved a lot in college, but has great size and showed the ability to stuff the run. could be a bit of a project, but could develop into a great tackle...especially when paired with Glenn Dorsey.

Round 5: Drafted Kroy Biermann. OLB, Montana.

coulda taken: Owen Schmidt. FB, West Fucking Virginia.

never fucking heard of this guy before. he could be Lawrence Taylor all i know. i do know who Owen Schmidt is. Schmidt is a beast-like man-creature with a mohawk who breaks his face mask and hits himself in the face with his helmet when he messes up. if Atlanta wants to take on Jacksonville's power running style they need a solid fullback. i think Schmidt is the last of his kind. a true blocking fullback with size and speed and he can catch just for good measure. i think he will be a probowler and he'd become a fan favorite.

Round 6: Drafted Thomas Brown. RB, Georgia.

again i have no problem with this pick. he's a hometown kid. he'd add some depth behind Norwood and Turner. he can return kicks and he might end up becoming a legit weapon in a couple of seasons. plus he played for the Dogs, so why the fuck not take a chance in the 6th round on him.

Round 7: Drafted Wilrey Fontenot. CB, Arizona.

coulda taken: King Dunlap. OT, Auburn

i saw Fotnenot get fucking toasted in a couple of games last year. this guy can't play in the NFL and i'll be surprised if he even makes the team. Dunlap is a bit of a project. he got beat out by a true freshman last year at Auburn, but he's a fucking giant at 6 foot 9 and 310 pounds. could be a good right tackle in a few years. with that kinda frame he's worth a 7th rounder. plus he's another Auburn player and i'm a homer.

Round 7: Drafted Keith Zinger. TE, LSU.

coulda taken: Mario Urrutia. WR, Louisville.

okay this completes transformation into the Atlanta Cardinals...but seriously he's worth the pick. Urrutia was thought of as a 2nd or 3rd round pick but slipped because of injury. he's got incredible size and speed and is a steal in the 7th round. he's big enough to play some tight end, and would be the perfect red zone threat. Zinger didn't even start for LSU last year. i call this one a no brainer.

anyways i am no scout or draft expert...all i do is watch a shit ton of college football and pray for the best when it comes to the Falcons and their draft, but i think you'd a have a hard time telling me that my draft board doesn't look a hell of a lot better than the one that Atlanta put together.

they aren't saying "Boo!" they are saying "FUCK YOU!"

so with Glenn Dorsey, the player the fans wanted, available you stupid fuckers decide to go with "Matty Ice" instead and keep this franchise where it always has been and always will be, at the bottom. i had such high hopes going into today and when Chris Long got drafted by the Rams i knew Dorsey was coming to the Dome. but i guess Arthur Blank had his way and we get the smiley faced cracker ass north eastern QB who throws tons of picks, has a terrible rating, and looks like the second coming of David Carr. it would seem the Falcons are more interested in listening to douchebags like Todd McShay and Peter King who like to use words like "winner" when describing Ryan. really? what the fuck did that guy ever win? a Champs Sports Bowl is about all i can remember. did he ever win a championship? not that i am aware of. i remember him getting his ass kicked by Virginia Tech in the ACC Championship game. does that equal winner to you?

i'm too old and i'm tired of rooting for loser dickheads who could give a fuck what their fans want. you coulda had Dorsey, you coulda had McFadden, you coulda fucking traded the pick to Dallas for 2 first rounders and added some goddamn depth. go to Hell Arthur Blank, you pimp looking fuckwad. i am never shopping at Home Depot again
whatever, fuck Matt Ryan! and fuck the Atlanta Falcons! i am jumping teams. i've had it with this fucking bullshit.

Draft Anxiety Is Gettin' The Best Of Me

i can't remember the last time i was so looking forward to/dreading an NFL draft. sure i was really excited when 4 Auburn Tigers went in the 1st round a few years back...but this draft is all about my Atlanta Falcons and how they're finally gonna put together a descent group of kids that lifts them from the bottom of the heap and into the promised land of back to back winning seasons and regular playoff trips (oh to dream). either that or they're gonna draft Matt Ryan and i'm gonna be burning his jersey in effigy in a few seasons while he's throwing his fifth pick in a blowout loss to the New Orleans Saints. with any luck Dorsey is still there and the Falcons build a team around a solid defensive front...but if he's gone i'm praying Atlanta trades their pick with the Ravens and then drafts Sedric Ellis or the best lineman available. but hey, it's Atlanta. it ain't like they're known for doing the smart thing. and just so you know, and this is the last time i say it, when i look at Matt Ryan i don't see a Manning...i see Tim Couch.

if Atlanta really wants a QB, just take whoever the hell is available in the 2nd round and hope for the best. it's cheaper than the alternative and if that doesn't work out there's always the hometown kid of Matt Stafford that they can take in a couple of years. i might not like Stafford, but i'm willing to bet he'll be a better pro than "Matty Ice" and the fans of Atlanta will at least be excited about rooting for the kid.

other hopes for this draft regarding Atlanta:
i'd like to see them pick up Auburn's Pat Sims with one their second round picks...especially if they fail to land Dorsey or Ellis in the 1st round. i wanna see lots of offensive lineman getting taken, like at least 3...but possibly 4. a playmaking tight end wouldn't be bad either. JerMichael Finely of Texas will likely be around in the 4th or 5th round. he's got good size, pretty descent speed and ball catching ability, but he's not much of a blocker. he seems like the kinda player that could blossom into a probowler in a couple of years if used properly. honestly though if this kid wouldn't have left early (he's a redshirt sophomore) he'd be a first rounder in 2009 or 2010. other than that just load up on kids who can play sooner than later and start 'em off all together. let 'em lose together. let 'em learn together. let 'em turn into a team together. just build a foundation that this goddamn pathetic Shakespearean Tragedy of an NFL franchise can rise up from the ashes on...please.

An Open Letter To The Atlanta Falcons regarding the draft.

Dear Falcons,

my name is Justin Robinson. i am a long suffering fan of your shitty excuse for an NFL franchise. i understand that you have the number 3 pick in this years NFL draft and i was just letting you know that i would really appreciate it if you guys didn't fuck that up like you are inclined to do in most years. last year's draft was a fucking joke (Jamal Anderson and Chris Houston...really?) and so with 4 of the top 48 picks you guys have a lot of making up to do.

now i was really excited about the possibility of the 3rd pick a few months ago. i had visions of Darren McFadden dancing in my head, tearing up the Dome and making us all forget about Mike Vick....but like a bunch of pussies you ended up signing Michael Turner to a long term deal and sending a clear shot across the bow of your fan base that you could give a fuck what we want, we aren't getting McFadden.

and so that is when THE FEAR struck me. and by THE FEAR i mean the nightmares that have me waking in the middle of the night when Atlanta uses the 3rd pick in the draft to select Boston College QB Matt Ryan and sets the franchise back another decade or so. for the life of me i couldn't even begin to understand the fascination in Ryan and honestly it's starting to be a joke how much i blindly hate the kid...because in all honesty if he wasn't on the Falcons' radar then i really wouldn't give a flying fuck what happened to him. but the thought of that guy becoming an Atlanta Falcon is enough to make me switch teams. and i don't mean go gay (which by the way, isn't Todd McShay's love affair with Matt Ryan starting to seem more like a homosexual crush more than a scout thinking a guy is gonna be an NFL star? just saying.) what i mean is if Atlanta drafts Ryan with the third pick then i am no longer going to root for the Falcons anymore. it's a thankless process to begin with...instead i will hitch my loyalties to either the Tennessee Titans or the Jacksonville Jaguars...depending on who i see more games of next season, and then that'll be it. i will break up with the Falcons forever and it would take a Super Bowl run to win me back.

your friend,

justin

The Falcons should get Chad Johnson

so Ocho Cinco has turned into a real asshat of late. saying he wants to get traded, calling up Sportscenter and crying on air about his situation, telling Carson Palmer to stay out of his business, and finally saying he's not showing up for any camps or meetings and that he wants to be on another team by draft day. all of this is starting to remind me of Terrell Owens...which is to say, time to get yourself a top flight wide receiver for dirt cheap because the team he plays for can't take it anymore. i really think the Falcons would be well served to send one of their second round picks to the Bengals in return for the services of Mr. Chad. he's worth the trouble he brings by giving the fans a star to cheer for and the jersey sales. the Falcons already dropped the ball once by signing Michael Turner instead of drafting Darren McFadden, don't fuck it up again by passing on an elite wideout in the prime of his career who could bring some legitimate star power to a team that has none.

Fucking Falcons Can Eat A Dick

uggggggggggggggggghhhh!
that's the sound my brain makes whenever i think about the coming NFL Draft.

lingering like a salary cap crushing plague over the head of an already tragically stupid organization is the number 3 pick in this year's draft...and the name Matt Ryan keeps getting thrown around by all the NFL insiders and draft gurus as the logical choice. and it seems all the more likely that the Boston College QB is the direction the Falcons are looking towards and it's all enough to make a grown man cry.

first the Falcons signed Michael Turner thereby sending a signal to their fans that Darren McFadden wouldn't be stepping into the Dome to save fan interest and sell some motherfucking jerseys and then yesterday Atlanta cut QB Joey Harrington which all but throws up a red flag that the Falcons won't be doing the smart thing this year by building with either the best defensive tackle (Glenn Dorsey) or the best offensive tackle (Jake Long) and instead are gonna set the franchise back another ten years with an overrated college QB who played against a weak ACC, threw 19 interceptions as a fucking senior, completed less than 60% of his passes, and won zero championships. exactly what about those qualities equals franchise QB to you? i swear Matt Ryan must have pictures of all the guys at ESPN is some gay orgy because i've never seen such a lovefest for such an average player in my life. yesterday i heard Collin Cowherd call him the next Ben Roethlisberger. really??? i call him the next Tim Couch.

i'd go through the laundry list of reasons why i think Matt Ryan sucks and would much rather see Brian Brohm get drafted or better yet have the Falcons take a QB in the second of third round like Andre Woodson, Joe Flacco, Eric Ainge...or hell even Chad Henne (although i think he'll suck too) but basically anyone would be a smarter and cheaper option. but if you need more than just blind hatred of a player and require those pesky facts to back up arguments then you might as well read this guy's blog about the situation. http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/157099.

well if Atlanta does decide to piss off their fanbase and draft the kid we might as well get used to this image as it's gonna be happening pretty much every fucking sunday.

Disappointment (it's the Falcon Fan way of life)

so Atlanta signed L.T.'s backup, Michael Turner, for like a billion dollars...showing that they haven't learned the art of spending wisely and also sending a signal to their fanbase that they aren't gonna be drafting Darren McFadden. i guess having two runningbacks that are more suited to be backups are better than having a really fucking awesome runningback who might bring some fans back to the Dome. oh fucking well. let's hope they end up taking Glenn Dorsey or Jake Long then.

DRAFT MCFADDEN

all i have to say is 4.27. WOW.

Please trade De'Angelo Hall with the quickness

i guess those De'Angelo Hall trade rumors were a little more than rumors and now Hall is saying the Falcons stabbed him in the back and he wants to go play somewhere he's wanted. honestly as a Falcons fan all i can really say is don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I've NEVER been a fan of Hall. he's a descent enough cornerback...but falls a little on the overrated side. he gets beaten consistently by the top receivers in the league and is usually more interested in talking shit to the wideout he's covering than winning games. for a good example of that you only need to look at the game against the Panthers when he racked up 67 yards in penalties after getting into it with Steve Smith.

The Falcons say they want multiple picks for Hall. i'd be happy with just a first round and a 3rd round this year. this is Hall's last year and it was likely he'd probably go sign with another team next year anyways. all that really matters is that he's gone.

the guy is the type of player that can turn into a cancer in your locker room, and with a new coaching staff coming in and with how badly things went last year the Falcons don't need ANY distractions (not to mention Hall was the ringleader of the discontent with last year's team. i don't blame Petrino for leaving).
especially since they'll probably doing a whole lot of losing again next season. get what you can for Hall while he's still got value, move on. then draft well....dear god draft well.

more so than any franchise in the NFL the Falcons have to start over, dumping their overrated and overpaid star cornerback is another move in the right direction.

go poorly cover T.O. for someone else, thank you very much.

Finally Some Good News For A Change

so the football god's have decided to be merciful for once as Atlanta won their three way coin toss and has landed the third pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. we could go into a myriad of ways to how the Falcons will fuck this up (two words: Matt Ryan) but we'll save that for another day. instead let's revel in the first good news that Falcons' fans have had since all that Vick shit started. now all this drama could have been avoided if the Falcons had just done the smart thing and lost the final regular season game...but hey, that's just not the Falcon Way.

top 5 scenarios i'd like to see Atlanta do with the pick.
1. draft Darren McFadden
2. draft Glenn Dorsey
3. draft Jake Long
4. trade the pick to Dallas for Marion Barber and a 1st round pick.
5. draft Matt Ryan and then set him on fire

also there are some rumors that the Falcons might be interested in trading De'Angelo Hall for draft picks. please let this rumor be true.