Saturday, December 17, 2011

My Favorite Records of 2011

2011 was a lot like 2010 for me in that i didn’t really seek out a lot of new music and was more excited about albums i already own getting deluxe reissues than anything current. call it a product of aging. call it a product of laziness. call it being overwhelmed by just how easy it is to find and hear new music and doing to my best to just avoid shit. so i don’t consider this list to be the Best Records of the Year. but these were my personal favorite Albums Of 2011.

Davila 666- Tan Bajo

maybe i should’ve paid more attention in Spanish class in 10th grade cuz then i might know what the fuck these Puerto Rican garage rockers were singing about. regardless of language barriers this was easily one of my favorite albums of this or any year. Menudo On Drugs (as they call themselves) making a caterwaul of glorious rock n roll noise channeling The Stooges Fun House by way of Guided By Voices being sung by your wasted punk rock friends from high school. Rock N Roll is alive and well, it just doesn’t speak English anymore.

Turf War- Years Of Living Dangerously

it’s hard for me not to be hyperbolic when i talk about how much i love this fucking record. the story of 1000 nights of bad choices and worse luck fueled by booze and self destruction. every song sounds like an anthem for the lovable losers.

The Horrors- Skying

England’s funniest haricuts drop their My Bloody Valentine obsession and replace it with a fuckton of Psychedelic Furs and Echo and The Bunnymen producing the best album to sit in your room and space out to in 2011.

Minks- By The Hedge

kids influenced by C86 and Head On The Door era Cure (and probably a little Belle & Sebastian too) make gothy dreampop twee masterpiece. let’s wear all black every single day and hate the world together forever.

Ty Segall- Goodbye Bread & Ty Rex

the current king of fuzz pop mellows out and dropped his best fucking record yet on our asses and just for kicks he did an EP of T.Rex covers too.

M83- Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming

as a general rule i am not a fan of double albums. it’s probably because i’ve always believed less is more and also i’ve never really listened to any double album that i didn’t think could’ve been a better record minus about 5 songs and i feel the same way about this record. i also don’t think it’s nearly a good as Saturdays = Youth but M83 still does a better job than anyone of combining my love of Shoegaze and New Wave and turning it into a fake soundtrack for a French adaptation of a John Hughes movie.

The Icarus Line- Wildlife

i’m stuck inside of Los Angeles With The Punk Rock Blues Again.

Black Lips- Arabia Mountain

they might be one of the biggest indie rock bands around but they’ll always just be the kids who i booked at the 40 Watt that got banned for trying to burn their drum set on stage. this year they hooked up with Mark Ronson and took their sloppy garage punk sound and turned it into slick polished pop. a dance party for the end of the world. plus a song about Spiderman being molested as a little kid ends up being one of the best jams of the year. weird. disturbing. awesome.

Grape Soda- Form A Sign
The best band in Athens, GA make the most danceable party album of the year with nothing but spaced out organ and drums. Heavily energetic dub influenced indie pop. Joyous. Catchy. Fun.

Jacuzzi Boys- Glazin’

another solid album by one of the best power pop bands around. Plus they inspired some teenage girls to make the greatest NSFW music video in the history of the universe. Singing vaginas and it isn't even dirty.

Smith Westerns- Dye It Blonde

Chicago brats making pure glam pop. this album is the sound of my nuggets boxed set getting in a fight with my Smiths records. The songs Dance Away and All Die Young were two of the my songs of the year.

Kurt Vile- Smoke Ring For My Halo

every year needs some good sad bastard music. Kurt makes the saddest and it isn't in some weakass Bon Iver bullshit wa.

There were other notable artists who had a good song or two like Crystal Stilts reverbed out "through the floor" or Peaking Lights total fucking jam "All The Sun That Shines". Some other good music by Dead Ghosts, Woven Bones, Real Estate, Wild Nothing, Jeff The Brotherhood, Total Babes, Surf City, and Nobunny is worth checking out. If you have a Spotify then I recommend giving all these a listen. If you love rock n roll then there is still cool shit out there worth finding. Hell even the Black Keys, a band I think makes boring dad rock, put out an album that ain't half bad this year.

goodbye 2011. since the world is gonna end next year lets hope their are some fucking awesome albums in 2012.

Monday, November 28, 2011

thoughts on the 2011 season

So a year after the most amazing season in Auburn history we get one of the most blah seasons in Auburn history. Every rational Auburn fan knew that 2011 was a rebuilding year and that if this team was able to win 7 games then it was an accomplishment...and so I guess if that was the only goal then mission accomplished. But jesus christ those were 7 of the most ugly fucking wins I have had the displeasure of witnessing. I was at the season opener and watched Auburn get dominated by a pretty lousy Utah State team all damn game until they pulled a rabit out of their ass and made a miracle of a comeback for a win. And things never really got any easier after that. It took everything the Tigers could give to knockoff a Mississippi State team they was well underperforming all year. Auburn's most impressive wins were against a South Carolina team who I still can't figure out how they won 9 games, an Ole Miss team that couldn't beat anyone in the SEC, and the worst Florida team in at least 25 years. Hell it was a struggle for Auburn to beat their fucking FBS home coming cupcake. And every game Auburn lost was an epic blowout, none more sickening than vs Georgia. This would all be easier to stomach if I felt like Auburn was showing any signs of being a good football team next season, but let's be real...this group of players isn't inspiring a lot of hope for 2012.

First off Auburn's QB play was easily the worst of my lifetime. Between Clint Moseley and Barrett Trotter you have a tossup for worst Auburn QB of all time. And the super hyped true freshmen Kiehl Frazier was little more than a wildcat QB who the staff never trusted enough to let him actually play quarterback despite the horrible play of the guys ahead of him. One would assume that neither Trotter nor Moseley will be the QB next year and that Frazier and incoming freshmen Zeke Pike will battle it out for the job...but that just makes me all the more frustrated that Auburn never just went with Frazier when it became painfully obvious just how fucking terrible the other guys were. I mean noone wants to endure a losing season after winning a national title, but if I was watching Frazier develop every single week as the starter I might have a lot more hope about next season. Sadly I don't.

The other HUGE ASS PROBLEM is the defense. What was the strength of the Tuberville era has been the worst thing about the Chizik era. Ted Roof has got to fucking go as well as those guys coaching the DBs and linebackers. Auburn has been just horrible at stopping the pass for 3 years now and I have no reason to believe Roof is gonna figure it out despite the talent that has been recruited at safety and corner the last few classes. Fire him now.

The poor offensive line play is something that I am willing to let slide only because of the amount of young guys that all came with 4 and 5 stars attached to their names who were redshirted. One assumes the o line will be better next season even if it is just has to be.

Other than Lutz and Blake every damn WR on the team was just taking up space. Trevon Reed battled injuries most of the year, but even when healthy I saw nothing that made me believe he was anything but another overrated prospect. With the amount talent that is coming in next season at RB I think the smartest offseason move Auburn could make is converting Mccalleb into a slot receiver. He is Auburn's best playmaker in open space and was far more effective this season catching the ball than he was as a runner out of the backfield.

With another solid recruiting class coming in and with some likely changes coming on defense we can only hope that 2011 really was a rebuilding season and not just a glimpse at more of the same shit to come next season. Obviously winning a national championship buys Chizik a lot of time to figure things out...but then again this is the SEC and along time isn't gonna be that long.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Hunker Down, Larry

There are a thousand and one reasons I hate the Georgia Bulldogs, but none of them were Larry Munson. Rest In Piece.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

drunk blogging while Auburn gets their ass beat by UGA

If I hate anything more in life than losing to fucking Georgia I don't know what that is. This game (and every game we have played against a team with a real live offense) has been a fucking disaster. Winning that BCS title last year is the only reason I don't throw myself in front of a train.

Remember when we had an awesome QB? Remember when we used to play good defense under Tommy Tuberville? Remeber when we used to own Alabama and Georgia? Remember when I used to write on this blog? Remember when I had actual readers?

Fuck it. I'm done. 2011 has been a totally lame season. Not as bad as it could have been. At least we beat Florida, South Carolina, and Miss State. But goddamn...watching these useless fools playing QB has been about as much fun as sitting through a Lars Von Trier movie.

I'm out. See you never.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

my favorite album of 2011

the city of Atlanta has been killing it for a few years now with some of the best rock n roll around...but Turf War might just be the best goddamn band yet. always a great live band for a couple of years now they'd now releases an album that does it's best to capture what makes these Southern boys so fucking good.

their debut, Years Of Living Dangerously, is the kinda record that hits you in your gut. it's gotta that energy that only a lovable loser whose been beat down by years of bad choices and worse luck can produce. it's the story of 1000 late night benders and 1000 blurry eyed hangovers all crashing together in an ode to having a good time and having no regrets...even if we all die too young. it's what a good rock record should sound like: a little bit sad, a little bit angry, and with enough hooks & catchy choruses to make Tom Petty proud.

get it here get it now.

video for the first single, "Cheers to the Years"

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Energy Vampires are truly bummed out right now.

i guess i don't have to worry about burning my Cam Newtown jersey or throwing away all my BCS title swag i got at the Spring game.

we got away with it, motherfuckers.

War Damn Eagle.

Monday, October 10, 2011

all my teams suck again, as i remember them

That didn't take very long. Last year I got spoiled by a national title winning Auburn team and a Falcons squad that had the NFC's best record and the Braves were back in the playoffs with an exciting group of young players. 1 year later I have a young Auburn team that is gonna be lucky to win 7 games, a Falcons squad that looks fucking terrible and has me wanting them to blow up the franchise and start all over again, & the Braves collapse makes me wanna give up baseball for good.

Auburn I at least still believe in...well not this year's team, but I believe in them going forward...assuming Frazier actually figures out how to throw a football. (Please don't let him be Kodi Burns all over again.) Maybe QBs from Arkansas that spell their first names retardedly just aren't the way to go.

The Falcons I don't believe in AT ALL. This is season 4 of the Matt Ryan/Mike Smith era and this year's version of the Dirty Birds looks like the worst of the bunch. Turner is old. The offensive line is banged up and ineffective. Roddy White is dropping passes. Julio Jones was not worth all those goddamn draft picks. The defense is just fucking awful. And worst of all, Matt Ryan is exactly the QB I thought he was before Atlanta drafted him...aka average. You are not winning a Super Bowl with a guy who is just average. It is not happening. Not anymore. The days of Trent Dilfer being a championship QB are over. If you don't have one of the top 10 qbs in the league then you are fucked. Matt Ryan might not even be top 20 if you are being honest. Hell he would be the last QB I would draft out of his own division. Brees and Freedman are already better than Matty Ice and Cam Newton is the fucking future of the NFC South. Matt Ryan is Steve DeBerg. Why didn't they just suck one more year and then draft Matt Stafford?

The Braves are...ugghh who fucking cares? I hate baseball.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

the Top 25 is so bad that i still have Auburn ranked.


1B. Alabama
3. Oklahoma
4. Stanford
5. Wisconsin
6. Clemson
7. Boise State
8. Oklahoma State
9. Arkansas
10. Oregon
11. Georgia Tech
12. Michigan
13. Kansas State
14. Illinois
15. West Virginia
16. Nebraska
17. South Carolina
18. Houston
19. Arizona State
20. Baylor
21. Auburn
22. Michigan State
23. UGA
24. Virginia Tech
25. Texas

wow, that was fucking terrible

So Auburn gets their asses kicked by Arkansas in a game that proved we in fact have noone who can play quarterback at the moment and that our defense shutting down South Carolina last week was more about the Man, The Myth, The Legend; Stephen Garcia than anything Auburn actually did well. And so Auburn again looks like a team on course to win 6 or 7 games at best and not someone who will end the season ranked. At this point I don't need to see Barrett Trotter take another goddamn snap for the Tigers. He is about the worst damn QB I care to lay eyes on in the orange and blue. Frazier may have looked just as terrible with two of the ugliest damn interceptions you will ever see a qb throw but id take a freshman learning over some scrub of an upper classmen whose got zero upside and looks completely lost whenever he drops back to throw. Not that Trotter is 100% to many fucking drops did Auburn have in the game? It seemed like 20. The ball just hit guys right in the hands and then hit the turf. It was a sickening display. It reminded me of the olden days when Auburn couldn't ever find a good wr target. Why the hell did Darvin Adam's ass go pro? If Auburn had a threesome of Adams, Blake, and Reed they'd be fine this year...I like to imagine anyways. Uggh...whatever, fuck it. It was an ugly loss. Auburn got run off the field and shut completely down and by the 4th quarter it was all but over. Hopefully the lousy lookin' Gators will be a win that our Tigers can get next week, at home. But I'm not counting on it. War Damn Whatever.

Monday, October 3, 2011

is there any point ranking anyone outside the top 5?


1. Alabama
2. LSU
3. Oklahoma
4. Wisconsin
5. Clemson
6. Stanford
7. Boise State
8. Oklahoma State
9. Oregon
10. Georgia Tech
11. Arkansas
12. West Virginia
13. Kansas State
14. Michigan
15. Texas
16. Auburn
17. South Carolina
18. Florida
19. Illinois
20. Nebraska
21. Houston
22. Arizona State
23. Virginia Tech
24. Baylor
25. Texas Tech

Sunday, October 2, 2011

all my favorite teams suck at everything

Braves complete the most epic fail in baseball history (other than those far more overcovered assholes in Boston). I'm swearing off baseball for good.

The Falcons let a mediocre Seahawks team comeback on them and nearly choke.

Auburn remains the most frustrating team in the country but somehow beats an even more clueless South Carolina squad.

Sports are supposed to entertain...but these 3 teams just make me wanna shoot my face off.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

fucking Braves

fire Fredi. throw Lowe in the trash. burn down Atlanta again.

at least the fucking Red Sox lost...that way we will never ever hear about the Braves choking ever again.

Monday, September 19, 2011

being a Falcons fan is never a thing of joy

So the Falcons were able to somehow steal a win from an Eagles team that is obviously better than them by knocking Mike Vick the fuck out. It's a cheap way to win a game but I'll take it.

But honestly I have no faith in this Falcons squad. The defense sucks. The offensive line can't block. Matt Ryan looks like he's regressing. And Mike Turner looks slow and old. The playcalling is some of the most vanilla ass predictable bullshit in the enitre NFL....especially among teams who are supposedly contenders. And with Tampa being a young and talented team on the rise and Carolina having that Newton fella throwing for 400 yards everygame...well I don't know if I believe that Atlanta is going to be owning the NFC South anytime soon. To me Atlanta is going to struggle to get a playoff spot. The Saints look much better in their first two games than the Falcons did. I see 9-7 or 8-8 as a very real possibility. Hell if they went 6-10 I wouldn't even be that shocked. This team just doesn't seem nearly as talented as a year ago. Sure I know I am the most whiny pessimistic fan a team could ever have, but goddamnit....being a Falcons fan just fucking sucks most of the time. This is the golden age of the franchise and I can't ever see a Super Bowl with the current group of players. No fucking way they could get past The Packers. Hell I don't like their chances with an Eagles rematch matter who Philly has behind center. Young, Kafka, doesn't matter, it's McCoy, Maclin, and Jackson that make that machine run. Right now i'd have to put Atlanta behind Green Bay, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Chicago, Dallas, and Detroit as far as talent in the NFC. Yeah Detroit. Who is gonna stop Suh from murdering Ryan? Who can cover Calvin Johnson in the Falcons secondary? Shit I'm not even sure Tampa Bay isn't the 2nd best team in Atlanta's own division. Ughhh. Fuck it. One day I will finally stop caring about this stupid team.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

So long Tigers, Thanks For the Memories...

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS totally useless Top 25

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma
4. Wisconsin
5. Stanford
6. Boise State
7. Nebraska
8. Arkansas
9. Oklahoma State
10. Florida
11. South Carolina
12. FSU
13. Texas A&M
14. Virginia Tech
15. Oregon
16. South Florida
17. Georgia Tech
18. Clemson
19. West Virginia
20. Houston
21. Baylor
22. USC
23. Texas
24. North Carolina
25. Vandy!!!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

i can't believe i wasted a beautiful day watching that shitty football game

Ugggh. I guess Auburn finally ran out of Cam's magic pixie dust. Oh well. It has been so long since Auburn actually lost a game that I kinda forgot how bad it felt.

What can I say about this game? During the 1st quarter it looked Auburn was gonna run away with this game...but then a stupid punt return by Trevon Reed and a bad return by Tre Mason and suddenly Auburn's defense completely lost their momentum and Clemson just started scoring at will and that was pretty much it.

On offense Auburn got way too many players involved instead of just feeding Dyer over and over again until that stopped working. Mason shouldn't be getting any carries that aren't in junk time and McCalebb is best used as a secondary back. I get sick of him getting those wrap around handoffs that go for nothing. As for our QB...he is servicable at best. He misses so many wide open reads and is almost zero threat to run and he made two horrible throws into coverage. One that was dropped by the Clemson defender and other that killed any chance Auburn had at making a comeback. I have seen enough of him. Auburn's streak is over. They are not going to win the SEC West. Losing to Clemson basically means Auburn is probably a 6 or 7 win team at best. Play the goddamn highly rated Freshman QB and bench the guy who prob wouldn't start at Kentucky. I will never understand playing experience over talent.

The words I have for Auburn's shitty zone defense are just not worth uttering in case children find this site. Fuck Ted Rood. Thanks for being part of the title but I give most of that credit to Tracy Rocker. They can not stop anyone from doing anything and they make me want to die.

Uggh. Now I must go drink.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Early Cuyler and T-Pain are not fans of Auburn

Auburn Sucks! in autotune. this needs to be my ringtone. one of the funniest episodes of Squidbillies ever. the Stone Mountain laser show with shoutouts to the SEC was pretty amazing as well. still not as funny as the Original Gator Hater...but close.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Auburn Sucks! Auburn Is Amazing!

sorry America, but no team wants to ruin your day more than my Auburn Tigers. the more people doubt them, the more likely they are to pull a motherfucking miracle out their motherfucking asses. and such is life. i thought the magic pixies dust that covered the orange and blue had flew it's ass off to the nfl and was now wearing shades of silver and blue in different cities of the NFL nation...but i guess Cam Newtown left some of that Cammy Juice in the locker room and Barrett Trotter is hiding it in his locker. 2 games into 2011 and the Tigers STILL aren't losing to anyone (no matter how hard they may try to do it). they don't look pretty at all and they sure as shit don't look like a team that could win more than 7 games...and yet if this team somehow went like 9-3 would i even be shocked? not really. looking at the rest of the schedule the only games i don't automatically see Auburn being able to put up a win are....well none of them. even Bama and LSU for all their amazing talent on defense don't seem indestructable. neither of their offenses seem built to withstand a good old fashioned shoot out. do i really think the Tigers have a chance in hell at winning the SEC west in '11? lord no. but do i see Auburn making every damn game they play interesting for the rest of the season despite a complete lack of experience on their team? totally.

War Damn Eagle! it is good to be an Auburn Tiger.

...and now for A Lifetime Of Defeats Completely Pointless Top 25

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma
4. Wisconsin
5. Stanford
6. Boise State
7. FSU
8. Arkansas
9. Nebraska
10. Oklahoma State
11. South Carolina
12. Michigan State
13. Auburn
14. Florida
15. Texas A&M
16. Tennessee
17. Virginia Tech
18. Oregon
19. South Florida
20. Georgia Tech
21. West Virginia
22. Houston
23. Baylor
24. Mississippi State
25. USC

Monday, August 22, 2011

i've had the desire to yell "War Damn Eagle" at random strangers on brisk Fall afternoons yet again.

it's been a long and depressing offseason. the afterglow of Auburn's national championship has left me with the same feeling i had when i lost my virginity...which is to say i was so glad that finally happened but the next time i hope it goes a lot smoother. the preseason prognosticators have predicted doom and gloom for our Tigers. i myself said last season that i fully expected Auburn to be a 7-5 team next year BUT that assuming Khiel Frazier is developed this season as a QB that Auburn stood a goddamn good chance of being back in the SEC and BCS title hunts for the 2012 and 2013 seasons. but living in a rival school's hometown has left my ears full of the bitterness that is UGA football fandom (nice uniforms, NIke whores) and their predictions (dirty little fantasies) of seeing Auburn go 4-8. basically the running narrative for this offseason is what a fluke/perfect storm 2010 was, that our coaches aren't any good, and that we will be lucky to beat Ole Miss. i call bullshit on that. the only games i predict being a total longshot are LSU and Arkansas. we've learned the last two seasons that Auburn isn't gonna roll over and fucking die against Alabama and assuming the Tide is in the title hunt you know Auburn will get up for that game. Clemson and USC are teams Auburn just never loses to and i expect them to at least go 1-1 vs the South Carlonia schools. i don't see Auburn losing at home to Mississippi State or Ole Miss. you know they are gonna give those Gators all they can handle. and i am of the opinion UGA is in for a horrible season that will put an end to the Richt era and so i wouldn't be surprised if UGA doesn't have a whole lot to play for when Auburn rolls into Athens. my best case scenario for 2011 is that Auburn finished the regular season at 9-3, tied for 2nd or 3rd in the West and gets a New Year's bowl game (likely the Cotton or Outback) but has a lot of momentum built up for 2012. my worst case scenario is that Auburn loses a lot of really close games and ends up with a 6-6 record and a trip to the Liberty (or whatever lower tier bowl the SEC has). i can swallow a 6-6 year as long as there's a lot of development being shown by Auburn's talented true and redshirt freshmen who are gonna be making up the bulk of the team's roster.

quick QB thoughts:

i will be the first to admit that i was less than thrilled to hear Barrett Trotter named Auburn's starting QB...a player that has to rank right up with Chris Todd as the least talented starter in the last 20 years, but Malzhan was able to make Todd into some kind of productive and useful starter in 2009 and so i would expect nothing less with Trotter. i would however like to assume that at the exact point Auburn is eliminated from any chance to reclaiming the SEC West crown that the keys to the offense will be handed over to our talented incoming Freshman QB (before our other talented Freshman QB shows up next season) and see if the kid lives up to the hype. starting a freshman is never ideal at QB but i have always been of the opinion that you go with the guy with the most talent...not the guy who has been hanging around the longest.

3 things i want to see from Auburn in 2011:

1. a big upset over either Bama, LSU, Florida, or UGA (all games Auburn will likely not be favored in...even though i predict UGA will suck)

2. Khiel Frazier as Auburn's QB at some point (hopefully after the team's 2nd loss) in the season.

3. a defense that can actually shut some team's down in the conference ever so often.

anyways, i am finally getting excited again that the season is almost here. i'll be at the home opener ready to cheer on the Tigers rocking my 2010 BCS title shirt and ready to drop an F-bomb or 5 the first time Auburn doesn't score a TD on a drive.

War Eagle, you fuckers.

Monday, May 9, 2011

free music from my favorite Atlanta, GA band

my boys, Turf War, are some drunk hooligans from Atlanta who just recorded a new song that's gonna be the anthem of summer 2011...or at the very least a song that you'll put on a mixtape. it's called "Summer time booze" and they want you to have it for free.

so download that shit here and thank me later.

Latest tracks by turfwar

Thursday, March 31, 2011

your running themes for the 2011 MLB from ESPN

the Yanks lose 3 in a row: what's wrong with the Yankees?
Phillies are so great, why do the other teams in the NL exist?
Albert Puljos: wouldn't he make a great Yankee or Sawk?
it's August and the Mets are in last place, but we think they can make a run this year.
do they still play baseball out west?
Yankees vs. Red Sox: why can't they just play everyday?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you

Wow, that was the most useless thing HBO has aired since the Sopranos finale.

4 bitter ex players claiming they got paid. The only guy I would've believed was worth any money was McClover whose former teammates claim he blew all his NFL cash on strippers and now has an axe to grind. Another player Ramsey of course has tried to sue the program because of a back injury, another guy who didn't even set foot on the field, and another who is pissed about not getting a job. If a former player like Carlos Rogers was making these claims then I would be worried. But I'm just not losing any sleep over this. Sorry, unless there is some actual proof all this is going to result in is more ugly coverage and mudslinging from espn and a bunch of longwinded and whiny blog rants about how Auburn should get the death penalty from UGA fans who are pissed at the fact they are NEVER going to win a national title ever again because they can't beat Florida.

I'm not naive enough to believe that some shady shit hasn't gone down at Auburn in the past, but until there is an actual smoking gun that the NCAA finds then all of this is nothing more than talk. Lots and lots of talk.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

2011 has been pretty interesting for Auburn

Win a national title.

Bring in a kickass top 10 recruiting class.

Get trees killed by lunatic Alabama fan.

Have 4 players arrested for armed robbery and kicked off the team.

What the fuck is next?

Sunday, February 6, 2011

so much for Cyrus Kan'tbotherlookinguphowtospellhisfuckingname.

that 5 star tackle dude picked Bama instead. whatever. Auburn still has a top offensive line class and a top 10 recruiting class by all the major sites that rank that sorta thing. when's Spring practice start?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

recruiting is like crack: 2011 edition

national signing day is upon us. so far Auburn has landed 24 recruits. there’s always a possibility of them adding another player but likely this will be the class. Auburn’s only loss was 4 star Linebacker/Runningback Brent Calloway who decided to choose Alabama over Auburn.

the real prize of the day was when Auburn landed the #1 offensive tackle in the country, Cyrus Kouandjio (noone in Auburn is going to be able to pronounce that dudes last name. just sayin’). that gives Auburn by far the best offensive line class in the country to go with the #4 tackle, #3 guard, and #1 center. hopefully this is a group Auburn can build another title around.

some other guys to be excited about are 5 star linebacker Kris Frost, 4 star runningbacks Quan Bray and Tre Mason, QB Khiel Frazier, and the best defensive back class in the nation headed by Jermaine Whitehead…and after last season if there is anything Auburn needs worse than anything are some fucking DBs who can cover.

Auburn will likely end up with another top 10 and possibly top 5 class once the day is done. i expected a lot of these kids to be playing next season as true freshmen with all of Auburn’s player losses and with the lack of depth thanks to Tuberville’s weak recruiting classes in his final two years. but 2 straight years of solid recruiting from Chizik and his staff let us all know that Auburn is going to be back in the SEC and BCS title hunt sooner rather than later.

so let's celebrate with a gratuitous picture of Lyla Garrity (Minka Kelly) in her underwear.

War Damn Eagle

update. currently Auburn is ranked #7 by Rivals, #1 by Scout, and #2 by ESPN but i guess that 5 star tackle dude whose name i can't pronounce is waffling on his choice of the TIgers. i'm gonna go ahead and assume he's gonna sign elsewhere. regardless it's a solid class that added some much needed talent on the offensive line and in the secondary.

Monday, January 17, 2011

thinking about the 2011 season, already

So Darvin Adams is gone.
Nick Fairley is gone.
Cam Newton is gone.
The O-Line is gone.
Most of the D-Line is gone.
Bynes and Stevens are gone.
Etheridge, Washington, Savage...gone.
Byrum and Shoemaker...gone.

So where does that leave the 2011 version of the Auburn Tigers? Young and inexperienced and with a murderous schedule with roadtrips to UGA, LSU, South Carolina, Arkansas, & Clemson. Not to mention Florida, Mississippi State, and Alabama on the schedule too. If Auburn goes 5-7 would you be shocked?

Luckily Auburn fans are going to be way too high on this season's title to get too depressed about what happens next season. As long as Auburn wins a few big games and shows some growth in their young players I think 2011 is going to be just fine. I think 2012 will be Auburn's real goal for getting back to Atlanta and beyond.

On offense Auburn's #1 question is going to be who is our QB. Trotter will most likely have the edge but if Auburn is smart they will start Khiel Frazier. What better way to suffer through a tough year than breaking in a true freshman QB stud? The other big question is who is gonna start on the o-line. Auburn's had some pretty good recruits in last year's class and the likely incoming group, there's a good chance we might see 3 freshmen....which after being spoiled by the group we are losing could lead to a lot of screaming and hairpulling, but again why not suffer through next season and break in the young talent? Finding playmakers at wideout will also be a big priority after losing our top 2 pass catchers. This is an area I feel like won't be as big a problem. Auburn still has Emory Blake and Lutzenkirchen (who I expect to be a huge part of the offense next year) as well as Carr who showed some potential and then there's all that potential receiver talent that the Tigers have recruited the last few years. Benton has yet to prove his former 5 star ranking but Trevon Reed will be expected to make an impact.

Luckily the Tigers have a solid running game to carry the offense and have the potential for 2 thousand yard rushers with Dyer and McCalebb. if anything, 2011 is set to be The Michael Dyer show and gets the ball rolling towards his push for the 2012 Heisman. oh yeah, i am getting greedy.

Even missing Bynes, Fairley, Stevens, and everyone else I think the defense could be better next's hard to imagine that it could be worse. It'll be young but there's some talent hitting the Plains. Expect to see a lot of freshmen and sophomores next year.

I choose to believe that despite the fact Auburn is going to be very young next year and has a tougher schedule than the 2010 Tigers had that Auburn still has enough talent and a creative enough offensive coordinator to at least win 7 or 8 games and set up Auburn for a chance at the 2012 SEC title.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Falcons still the Falcons

Just when I was feeling all high on my Auburn Tigers BCS title, I can always count on the Atlanta Falcons to bring me back to Earth.

That was fucking depressing.

Goodbye Kodi, I'm gonna miss you most of all.

and so it is time we say goodbye to our 2010 National Champion Auburn Tigers, the most exciting Auburn team in my lifetime. the 2004 squad will probably always be the most dominant and talented, but 2010 will always be the the most special. Cam and Nick were the superstars. the offensive line were the backbone. but Kodi Burns will always be the heart. from the moment he came to Auburn he has done whatever he was asked to help make Auburn better. the moment he lost his starting job to Chris Todd and was asked to move to wide receiver and he decided NOT to transfer and to stick around he solidified himself as an All Time Auburn Great. he personified the words Unselfish and Leader. not to mention he blocked his ass off better than any Auburn wideout i can ever remember. it seems only fitting that his loan touchdown catch of the season was saved for his final game. in a game full of plays that i'll never forget, that was what got the ball rolling. thank you Kodi Burns for being an Auburn Man. i'm never gonna forget #18.

Friday, January 14, 2011

So Long Cam, thanks for everything...well almost everything

to the shock of exactly noone, Cam Newton is going he honestly should. his NFL stock will never be higher, especially when nearly his entire offensive line is going to be replaced next season. anyone who gets mad as kids for leaving early is probably a douchebag anyways.

so long Cam and thanks for the most amazing/exciting/scary/controversial/fucking awesome season i’ve ever had as an Auburn Tigers fan. i never thought i’d live to see the day where i’d consider someone other than Bo Jackson as the greatest Tiger of all time. we may have only had 1 year together, but damn it was a good year. good luck in the NFL. do us proud on Sundays. go get paid son. i just hope you don't end up in Washington like poor JC.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Auburn's SI Cover

as soon as the damn snow and ice melts and i can actually leave my house i will hunting down my SI issue for framing. i guess i need to find a good national champions shirt or hoodie as well (although Auburn needs to step it up in the design department because the stuff i've seen online kinda sucks). then of course i'll need to buy the SI hardcover book and the dvd and the football and so on and so forth. an Auburn based economy is just the thing to get us out of this recession.

i'm not sure if i can call my blog A Lifetime of Defeats anymore.

it's been 2 days now and things have finally sunk in. monday night was real. Auburn is the 2010 BCS National Champion. can you wrap your brain around that? did this seem even remotely possible at the end of the 2008 season? being a lifetime pessimist and someone used to having his heart ripped out by his favorite teams i never ever believed Auburn would ever finally clinch an outright national title. and yet it really fucking happened. i'm still at a loss for words to say how i feel.

I can't even lie. Watching the title game was not an enjoyable event for me. I was a nervous mess the whole night. Everytime something went wrong for the Tigers I felt like I was going to puke. It was borderline torture at points. But Auburn kept making the plays it had to make and keeping my heart from completely exploding in my chest. When Oregon tied the game up 19-19 I even said, "Auburn is gonna lose." I could feel the misery setting in. I started to wonder what were the chances Auburn would ever get another shot at this. And then Dyer made his "he's down, oh shit he's not down" run. And I finally perked up. I started to have visions of Wes Byrum's kick vs Florida dancing in my head. And then when Dyer blasted through Oregon's line for what I thought was the game winning touchdown I fell onto the floor and began to weep for joy. Of course it was reviewed and he has down at the 1 and all Byrum had to do was make a chip shot and we were champs...but I could barely even watch it. My heart was racing. My stomach was in knots. It's up. It's good!!!!!!!!! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! The Tigers are champs! Auburn are the national champions! Can you even believe it? Is it real? I thought it I died right that second it wouldn't have been so bad.

The high still hasn't worn off. I've been in this endless fog. It's a weird feeling. I remember talking to a friend of mine who was a Red Sox fan and how he told me that winning the World Series was amazing not only because he'd been waiting for that moment his whole life but because now the Sox were just another team who'd won a World Series. And now that's how I feel too. For all my angst and anxiety of being an Auburn fan all these years I could finally just enjoy rooting for my team and know that no metter whatever happens the rest of my life that no other moment would ever be this special again. And because of that I can just root for my Tigers and never get as worked up or miserable about winning or losing ever again. It feels amazing. And in a way it feels kind of sad. But it's a good sad.

thank you Nick Fairley, you giant half bear half man force of destruction. are you the dirtiest Auburn player of all time? fuck yeah, you are. you are a mean ass sonofabitch and i'd hate the shit out of you too if i was one of those pussyass UGA fans. but you are ours and for that i love you.

i've never been more happy to be so wrong about anything in my entire life as calling Gene Chizik the worst hire possible. thanks Coach. i'm willing to forgive 3 straight years of mediocrity before i ever call for your head.

Thank you Wes Byrum. Chip shot or not it's the kick that made us champions!!! motherfucking champions!!!!

And of course thank you, Cam. But that almost needs to be left unsaid.

So War Damn Eagle, everyone. Enjoy this moment for a long, long time. I know I will.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Final Poll Of the Season

A Lifetime Of Defeats Top 25 Final Poll

1. Auburn Tigers
2. Oregon
3. TCU
4. Stanford
5. Ohio State
6. LSU
7. Alabama
8. Oklahoma
9. Wisconsin
10. Nevada
11. Boise State
12. Arkansas
13. Oklahoma State
14. Mississippi State
15. Michigan State
16. Missouri
17. Va Tech
18. FSU
19. Texas A&M
20. South Carolina
21. Nebraska
22. UCF
23. Maryland
24. Tulsa
25. San Diego State

Monday, January 10, 2011

my brain is destroyed

Tonight we are champions, Auburn fans. This is real. This is happening.

just 1 more win and everyone gets to die happy

Tonight. It's here. Just 2 more hours. I'm a mixture or excitement and dread not unlike that time I was 16 with that girl who shall remain nameless. After tonight I'm either going to be the happiest idiot in the world or too depressed to watch another football game for the rest of my life. As much as I've enjoyed this season for the Atlanta Falcons and as bad as I want them to win a Super Bowl, I would gladly watch them lose 100-0 this weekend in exchange for a 1 point victory tonight for my Tigers.

Cam Newton you gifted man-child, whatever magic you've got left in that juice bottle drink it all up. A win tonight and I'm going to be too full of pride and joy to give a damn if Auburn is 6-6 and Liberty Bowl bound next season. Hell they could have 3 straight medicore years before i'd get angry about it if The Chiz lifts that crystal football over his head. In all my years of rooting for the Braves and Falcons and Tigers I've never wanted a win more in my entire life. Just let me have this moment and I won't ask for another one again (totally lying about that). Go Auburn! Win Baby Win! War Damn Eagle Forever and Ever and Ever!!!

Monday, January 3, 2011

the 2nd Season Begins. Can the Falcons actually get to the Super Bowl?

After finishing up one of their best regular seasons in team history the Falcons find themselves as the #1 seed in the NFC. That means no trips to Greenbay, Philly, New Orleans, or Chicago. It's home field advantage...something Atlanta desperately needed to have any chance to get to Dallas. They seemed nearly unbeatable at home (despite several close wins) until the Saints crushed that feeling of invincibility in the Dome. Fucking Saints. Regardless Atlanta was great at home and beat several quality teams and so there's no reason not to believe they've got a shot at an NFC championship this year.

Of the 6 NFC teams that made the playoffs 5 of them seem capable of being the NFC champs. The Saints are defending champs and get an easy 1st rounder vs. The Seahawks, at this point they look like the Falcons most likely opponent in the 2nd round. Both the Packers and Eagles are beat up some, but both are scary. I'll be rooting for Greenbay just because I like Atlanta's chances vs the Packers better than the Saints...and I really really don't want to have to facethe Eagles in the title game. Chicago is the least scary number 2 seed I can ever remember, but their defense is the kind that could easily win the game for them vs. Atlanta...still I'll be rooting for the Bears because I think Atlanta is more talented than Chicago. The Eagles and Saints really seem like Atlanta's biggest threat, so I'll be rooting for upsets next weekend...but I'm not holding my breath on Seattle.