tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76393860794087092642024-02-22T13:05:34.302-08:00A LIFETIME OF DEFEATSJR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.comBlogger1601125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-69736828231228369522014-01-06T22:23:00.001-08:002014-01-06T22:31:05.513-08:00In The End, Auburn Ran Out Of Miracles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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WELL FUCK! after maybe the most wonderful and exciting seasons I have ever experienced as an Auburn fan it sure sucks to get kicked in the balls like that.<br />
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and so the 2013 season ended the most heartbreaking way that it could possibly end. Auburn, a huge underdog, holding onto the slimmest of leads was unable to make 1 final stop when it was needed. the defense played their fucking ass off all night long, and i can't even begin to be angry with that effort, but that final drive was torture. and then Chris fucking Davis who made the greatest play in Auburn history also made the worst play of the season...although something tells me that Kick Bama Kick might hold up a little bit longer than that pass interference call.<br />
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Auburn's strength all year has been that blitzkrieg of a rushing attack but the fucking play calling with the big lead was just a little too fucking cute, tonight. and all those goddamned points left out on the field are the kind of thing that would be driving me completely fucking insane if i didn't stop and remember that this collection of players went 3 and fucking 9 last year and got absolutely destroyed by UGA and Alabama to close out the season. this same team with a cornerback who pretends to play QB and can not pass worth a shit beat the Tide and Dawgs in the 2 greatest goddamned wins of my lifetime. 2 wins that i would not trade for any victory ever, including this BCS title game tonight.<br />
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in the end these Tigers just ran out of miracles. i will always love this 2013 Auburn Tiger team, maybe even more than i love the 1989 Tigers that beat Alabama for the 1st time at Auburn, or the 2004 Tigers who in retrospect woulda kicked the shit outta USC if given the chance, or the 2010 Tigers and the mythical being known as Cam Newton, or the 1987 team that demolished Texas in my 1st ever game at Jordan-Hare, or those Bo Jackson teams that i just barely remember watching as a little boy. i do know that this squad has overtaken the 1991 Atlanta Braves team as the most wonderful surprise in my life of watching sports. thank you Nick Marshall, Tre Mason, Chris Davis, Greg Robinson, Dee Ford, and all the other players who gave me this wonderful gift of a season. it's gonna be a long long time before there will be a team that feels this special ever again.<br />
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on a personal note, i have missed this blog. i haven't had the time or the energy to write my silly profanity fueled, grammatically challenged nonsense the last couple of years, but a heartbreaking loss like this might be just the kinda thing to kick my ass back in gear.<br />
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just one win short. War Damn Eagle forever and ever.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-64111346391405838592013-10-08T08:19:00.003-07:002013-10-08T10:36:55.572-07:00What Happened One Night In America Is All You Ever Need To Know About Atlanta Sports<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Where once there was a feeling of optimism and hope, now there is only despair. 30+ years or rooting for Atlanta sports teams has taught me one thing more than any, how it feels to fucking lose.<br />
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The Braves suffer yet another heartbreaking defeat in the post season and are now 18 years removed from winning a World Series. The 2013 squad were a team that renewed my interest and love in the Atlanta Braves. They are young, full of potential, had the most dominating bullpen in baseball, hit a shit load of homeruns, and were fun to watch most of the year....but like so many Braves teams that came before them all of the things they did well during the year vanished when it came crunch time. that Atlanta was able to hit 1 meaningless homerun against the the Dodgers after leading the NL in 4 baggers for the year is exactly what you would have expected to happen. having one of your most reliable relief pitchers give up what would be the game winning homerun just 6 outs away from pulling off an upset in LA and sending the series back to Atlanta with all the momentum in the Braves favor is exactly what you should have expected to happen. going home early again is exactly what you should have expected.<br />
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The Falcons have gone from a Super Bowl contender to a fucking disaster that will be lucky to win 6 games. Those 10 yards shy of winning the NFC seem 100s of yards away now. a trash heap offensive line, a useless defense, and some of the most boneheaded coaching moves you will ever see has sunk the 2013 season just 5 games in. there are so many negative things i could say about this Falcons team, but i am not gonna waste the blogspot space. the Falcons need major changes if they want to ever win a championship. in the NFL you have the shortest of windows and Atlanta's in closing fast.<br />
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2 franchises linked in geography and their ability to mutually let down their fanbase on a yearly basis. Let the yankees burn Atlanta to the ground again and let's just start all over.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/V6_FaFegnxw" width="560"></iframe>JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-50256902391110716262013-08-08T02:33:00.000-07:002013-08-14T03:08:43.426-07:00The Best Movie Of 2013 That Almost No One Saw and/or Liked: Only God Forgives<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">Ryan Gosling is Julian, a heroin dealing member of a Bangkok crime family, all silent and brooding with major mommy issues thanks to </span><span class="text_exposed_show">Kristin Scott Thomas (the real star of the film) as the vengeful overbearing mob mother who is out for blood against </span>Vithaya Pansringarm, the samurai-like sword wielding cop who delivers brutal Punisher style justice against the members of Julian's crime family when he's not out at the bar singing karaoke. Gosling's character is just doomed to be caught in the middle of these powerful forces of revenge.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it makes sense that Nicolas Refn Winding dedicated this movie to Alejandro Jodorowsky cuz it's got more in common with <strong><em>El Topo</em> </strong>than it does with <strong><em>Drive</em></strong>. <em>Only God Forgives</em> makes <em>Drive</em> look like the <em>Fast & Furious</em> in comparison.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">not for everyone, this is a love it or hate it film. and i FUCKING LOVED IT. destined to be a cult classic. 5 nihilistic stars.</span></div>
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JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-67454047954796410932013-01-03T12:08:00.004-08:002013-01-03T12:08:48.841-08:00My Favorite Albums of 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I don't even pretend to follow new music anymore. It isn't because I don't think people aren't still making music worth paying attention to or I am stuck in my ways or any of that other shit....ok maybe it's some of that, but honestly it's just that i have become really fucking lazy in my old age. also trying to decipher what the average record review is actually saying about the record it is reviewing is like trying to explicate a poem and i just have no time for that....BUT through the power of osmosis and from the recommendations of trusted allies I occasionally stumble upon new music that i enjoy.</div>
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Here are MY FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2012 in no particular order.</div>
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<em><strong><br /></strong></em><em><strong>Every goddamned album Ty Segall put out this year.</strong> </em></div>
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<strong>Ty Segall and White Fence-</strong> <em>Hair</em></div>
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<strong>Ty Segall Band</strong>- <em>Slaughterhouse</em></div>
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<strong>Ty Segall</strong>- <em>Twins</em>.</div>
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Ty Segall is one prolific motherfucker. Dude puts out a new album like every couple of months. i am convinced that it is because he believes the world actually IS ending in 2012 and he wants to make sure every kickass song he ever wrote gets heard before an asteroid smashes into the planet and robs of the chance of hearing anymore quality jams from the bastard son of Nirvana's <em>Bleach</em> and Marc Bolan's psychedelic glam stomp. Ty Segall is running this psychedelic garage rock shit right now and i am good with that. if the world doesn't end i hope he's got another half dozen more records in 2013.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>Slug Guts</strong>- <em>Playin' In Time With The Deadbeat </em></div>
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Slug Guts are an Australian band carrying on the proud traditions of their grandfathers The Birthday Party and Pussy Galore with an unholy amount of post-punk noise and deathrock rattle. i always just assume the Mad Max movies are documentaries of everyday Australian life…it’s the only way to explain why they do fucked up rock n roll better than everyone else.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>The Walkmen</strong>- <em>Heaven</em></div>
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my relationship with the Walkmen is turning into a sort of old married couple. the passion of the <strong><em>Bows & Arrow</em></strong> days might be gone and we don't fight and cry much anymore...but i know i can still count on them in the end. they are dependable as fuck. no bullshit. just great songs that you can lay around in bed and listen to. they put out an album, i buy it, i enjoy it, they put out another one and so on and so forth until the end of time.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>Vincas</strong>- <em>Blood Bleeds </em></div>
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Athens, GA's best band put out probably my most listened to album of year. a gumbo mix of The Scientists' swamp rock boogie, Suicide's drone, and Scratch Acid's weirdness. rock music the way it should be. Dirty, Sleazy, and Noisy as fuck.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>The Men</strong>- <em>Open Your Heart </em></div>
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the most straight up ROCK record of 2012 is all fucking balls and no fucking bullshit.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>Maserati</strong>- <em>VII</em></div>
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the post-rock scene doesn't have to be all emotional Explosions In the Sky Friday Night Ligths episodes... it can also be a dance-y instrumental space rock party that doubles as a soundtrack for Blade Runner 2: Blade Runnerest.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>Crocodiles</strong>- <em>Endless Flowers</em></div>
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Crocodiles are still pretty much a Jesus and Mary Chain cover band...but it's not like i am complaining. originality is fucking overrated. i love this glossy overblown shoegazey noise pop shit. this was my Summer soundtrack.</div>
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<strong>Wild Nothing</strong>- <em>Nocturne</em></div>
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<strong>DIIV</strong>- <em>Oshin </em></div>
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my need for 4AD-ish shoegazey dreampop was fulfilled in 2012.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>State Champion</strong>- <em>Deep Shit </em></div>
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this album actually came out at the end of 2011...but fuck it! i didn't hear it until 2012 and so i am gonna put it my list anyways. This is pure hillbilly garage rock n roll that's drunk as hell and has a lot of shit it wants to get off it's chest. these are some Kentucky boys that just wanna play you some sad ole' country songs but they can't help it if their amps are stuck on Dinosaur Jr. it reminds me of a time when Americana didn't automatically equal boring as fuck indie rock with some slide guitar added in for effect. if you are a fan of Uncle Tupelo, Whiskeytown, Steve Earle, The Replacements, and good honest American Rock n Roll then this is a record for you.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>Sic Alps</strong>-<em> Sic Alps </em></div>
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<strong>White Fence</strong>-<em> Family Perfume vol 1&2</em></div>
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the best psychedelic garage rock records that Ty Segall didn't make. good job dudes, i love Syd Barrett and the Olivia Tremor Control too.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>Pop. 1280</strong>- <em>The Horror</em></div>
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goth, No Wave, noise rock, 3 guys 1 hammer, film noir, PiL records, and songs about dogs.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>Moon Duo</strong>- <em>Circles</em></div>
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droney psych and krautrock influenced shit that sounds like Spacemen 3 covering a Silver Apples record.</div>
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<strong><br /></strong><strong>Spiritualized</strong>- <em>Sweet Heart Sweet Light</em></div>
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i like Spiritualized, so as long as J. Spaceman can not die of cancer or drug addiction he is always gonna get a spot on a year end list.</div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b>Terry Malts</b> </span>Killing Time</i></div>
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kick ass catchy ass fuck power pop with the fuzz pedal cranked in the red. </div>
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<b>Ex-Cult</b>- <i>Ex-Cult</i></div>
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Psychedelic garage rock with a healthy mix of Wire's <i>Pink Flag</i></div>
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<b>Cold Showers </b><i>Love and Regret</i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">a gloomy post punk record that sounds like it was made by kids who are just now discovering music by The Sound & The Chameleons or who think it's been enough years since Interpol was relevant that now was as good a time as any to steal their schtick. but as i say around here all the time, originality is overrated....which is good cuz ain't nothing original about this album. that's just fine with me, Cold Showers understand how to write a catchy gothy little pop song. check it out if you are into that sorta thing.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b>Sex Church </b></span>Somnambulist 7 inch</i></div>
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another band mining the 80s post-punk era for inspiration. droney/noisey garage rock trying it's hardest to sound like Swell Maps and The Wipers. killer. one of my favorite discoveries of the year. </div>
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<b>TEEN</b> <i>In Limbo</i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">produced by former Spacemen 3 member Sonic Boom (aka Peter Kember), which makes a lot of sense because this sounds like a Spectrum album with a member of the Shangri-La's singing over it.<strong><em> In Limbo</em></strong> is an interesting combination of new wave keyboards, atmospheric dreampop, and the 60s girl group sound. it's just a wonderful mix of styles and influences i can get behind. other than having a band and record name combo that would probably get you some sketchy ass google search results, this is an excellent album.</span></i></div>
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JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-40927953505126249402012-12-29T15:26:00.001-08:002012-12-29T15:30:42.255-08:00MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2012 (and some of my least favorite too)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9SEhYPWg6oeEEahDn86PcaT1gy_kwnpRtG473GGkaEzcut5SiJ_Cx7bIVJCl7oX8bnmBtuID8staQPox_VDXiK5LMwf4sBXbbT6MLEU3CSGeohD_0fk341c7-t3X6E-RX9IPm9prAgsc/s1600/django-unchained-jamie-foxx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9SEhYPWg6oeEEahDn86PcaT1gy_kwnpRtG473GGkaEzcut5SiJ_Cx7bIVJCl7oX8bnmBtuID8staQPox_VDXiK5LMwf4sBXbbT6MLEU3CSGeohD_0fk341c7-t3X6E-RX9IPm9prAgsc/s400/django-unchained-jamie-foxx.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><i>THE BEST FUCKING MOVIES OF 2012</i></b><br />
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<strong>Django Unchained:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">at this point you either love Quentin Tarantino or you fucking hate him...or maybe you don't even give shit (have an opinion about something!). I am a shameless QT apologist. Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction both came out when i was in highschool and had a huge influence on my taste in movies ever after. Tarantino knows what the fuck i like. Django might just be his messiest most over the top movie yet. it has literally everything you could possibly want from Tarantino: buckets and bucket and buckets of blood, Samuel L. Jackson reminding people he used to be an awesome actor, Don Johnson as a racist Colonel Sanders, Jamie Foxx killing the fuck out of everyone, people getting blown up by dynamite, Tarantino trying to act, and a bowing horse. i love it. LOVED it. will probably go see it 2 or 3 more times in the theater. it is the most Tarantino movie Tarantino has ever made. </span></div>
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<strong>Moonrise Kingdom:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">at this point you either love Wes Anderson or you hate him (wait...didn't i just say the same thing about Tarantino) because he's been making basically the same movie over and over again...but so did Woody Allen. so get over it. i am sucker for his meticulous little cartoon worlds of bad fathers, odd children, impossibly detailed sets, 60s folk soundtracks, and upper middle class white people problems. i loved every second of Moonrise Kingdom because it was just too cute not to. other than the part where the dog dies. Wes, quit killing dogs damnit! you are bringing me down. </span></div>
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<strong>The Grey:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> a movie almost no one i know saw. the previews just made it look like Liam Neeson fights wolves! but really it's a movie about death and courage in the face of said death. it's probably Neeson's best performance ever, but no critics seem to give a shit because it came out at the beggining of the year and they all can't remember movies that didn't happen post-thanksgiving when award season rolls around. </span></div>
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<strong>Looper:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">i am and always will be a sucker for a good sci-fi movie. does all the time travel shit make any sense? who gives a shit? it's Bruce Willis running around killing people and the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun trying to kill him. plus people have mutant powers. plus the most fucked up body horror scene in years. plus Piper Perabo naked. plus Jeff Daniels. plus Mazda Miatas. </span></div>
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<strong>Dredd:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">most violently stupidly awesome movie of the summer. a simple action sci-fi story that felt like something John Carpentar would've made in his Escape From New York/Big Trouble In Little China days. also the best 3D movie i've seen. </span></div>
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<strong>Goon:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> basically the best comedy of 2012 and the best sports comedy since Major League. </span></div>
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<strong>Turn Me On Dammit!:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> Alma is a horny 15 year old girl that spends her time masturbating, dreaming about Artur the boy she is crushing on, and hoping to get the fuck out of her shitty little town someday. Artur pokes Alma with his dick at a party but noone believes her because these little lip balm addicted bitches can't deal with my girl Alma's foxiness and brutal honesty. so Alma becomes an outcast. highschool sucks everywhere, dudes. more masturbating and phone sex and other such adventures til our hero Alma decides these motherfuckers can kiss her ass. </span></div>
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<strong>Marvel's The Avengers:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> i thought this movie was going to suck. i had been mostly underwhelmed by the Disney Marvel movies other than the 1st Iron Man and thought that Avengers looked pretty fucking stupid. but hey, i was wrong, cuz this was the most fun i had in a theater all year. sure the first 30 minutes of the movie are boring as fuck, a lot of dialogue is terrible...but then The Hulk shows up and starts smashing things and i was turned into a 12 year old boy just smiling stupidly as that big green sonofabitch punches giant space worms in the fucking face. </span></div>
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<strong>The Cabin In The Woods:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> being that i love Buffy the Vampire Slayer with all my heart, i am glad Joss Whedon's finally getting his due after all these years. Cabin In The Woods felt like something that would've been a really funny Buffy episode. i dig self aware clever bullshit.</span></div>
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<strong>Argo:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> Ben Affleck is a mediocre actor who has somehow morphed himself into a totally awesome director that makes tense little thrillers that Brian DePalma hasn't made since the 70s. </span></div>
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<strong>Skyfall:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> James Bond + The Dark Knight + Home Alone = the best Bond movie since Goldeneye.</span></div>
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<strong>Safety Not Guaranteed:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> i am totally in love with Aubrey Plaza. i am such a cliche that i don't even care anymore. </span></div>
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<strong>Chronicle:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">if not for the stupid fucking found footage format this movie would've been perfect. what would happen if some dumb teenage guys were given super powers? probably this movie. and if one of them happened to be a social outcast from an abusive home he probably would turn into a psychotic super villain. Chronicle would make for a really awesome New Mutants movie. seriously, when is hollywood going to give me a New Mutants movie? </span></div>
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<strong>End Of Watch:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> best cop movie in the last few years. </span></div>
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<strong>Savages<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">:</span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> a nasty little piece of cinema trash that is easily the best movie Oliver Stone has made since the mid 90s. Benicio Del Toro steals the show. lots of brutal violence and torture.</span></div>
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<strong>The Raid: Redeption:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> has basically the exact same plot as Dredd but with way more kung fu. this movie reminded me of the good ole days of John Woo's Hong Kong soap opera action movie killspree past. </span></div>
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<strong>Magic Mike:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> the most hilarious experience i had during any movie this year was watching Magic Mike with two drunk ass girls. plus Matthew McConaughey singing "Ladies of Tampa".</span></div>
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<strong>Killer Joe:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> this movie wasn't really that good, not like i had hoped, BUT still any movie where McConaughey gets to act shitballs crazy and wear a cowboy hat is a movie i am going to enjoy. </span></div>
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and cuz not everything can be a gem....</div>
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<em><strong>THE MOST DISAPPOINTING MOVIES OF 2012</strong></em></div>
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<strong>Dark Knight Rises:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> or how Christopher Nolan killed the serious comic boy movie for me.</span></div>
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<strong>Prometheus:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> or fuck you! this movie makes no fucking sense! i could go on for hours and hours and hours about why i hate this movie. but you've all heard all the reasons from everyone else. i will still probably go see the sequel though, so shame on me.</span></div>
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<strong>The Master:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> two really great acting performances can not make up for the fact this movie is completely pointless and plotless and is the worst Paul Thomas Anderson movie of his career.</span></div>
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<strong>The Thing prequel:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> i don't know why i tricked myself into thinking that THIS was going to be any good. it might be the worst piece of shit i saw all year. </span></div>
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<strong>Ruby Sparks:</strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> everything i hate about indie romances in one fucking movie.</span></div>
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JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-28534639942992291842012-12-04T13:07:00.000-08:002012-12-04T13:12:41.837-08:00Welcome Back, Gus! <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgceW47IUqnvR-eJffvoo0MXv6iKPIitiG5FfLqIPQOEz6GgZwm4vatktgPBvczJY6XrgtAfv51RN5jrrZzV0EQL4Hmj8EhiY6GR56-KGKg6m3rDQoQjZa0KhV5JXo5UxE9hW_qE6O4fBE/s1600/Malzahn-and-Chizik1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="337" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgceW47IUqnvR-eJffvoo0MXv6iKPIitiG5FfLqIPQOEz6GgZwm4vatktgPBvczJY6XrgtAfv51RN5jrrZzV0EQL4Hmj8EhiY6GR56-KGKg6m3rDQoQjZa0KhV5JXo5UxE9hW_qE6O4fBE/s400/Malzahn-and-Chizik1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanks for keeping the seat warm for me, bro.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Auburn <a href="http://auburn.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1445031">has their man</a>, and it appears to be our old offensive coordinator genius...aka Gus Malzahn.<br />
<br />
Nothing but positive vibes from me on this hire. When Kirby Smart became the hot name yesterday I was filled with dread but when news hit the twitterverse that Auburn had chosen to bring back Malzahn I felt instant excitement. Sure I have my worries about the Tigers ability to stop anyone on defense with Gus in full control of the program...but fuck it dude! if Auburn drop 40 points a game then we can give up 35 for all I care. The Urban Meyer Florida teams, 2010 Auburn ,and 2012 Texas A&M showed us that having an uptempo offense can win and win big in the SEC. There's just no reason not to think that without a defensive minded head coach meddling with his offense, that Malzahn can turn Auburn into Oregon of the South. Will he be able to recruit talent on defense? not sure, but the real question will be can he find a QB who can actually run his scheme...because that's what really matters if the Tigers are gonna compete in the SEC again. All these questions are for much later. Right now I'm just gonna be happy.<br />
<br />
Welcome back, Gus! War Damn Eagle!JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-37258081282820103772012-11-27T21:39:00.000-08:002012-11-28T07:58:29.155-08:00Ok Auburn, Just hire that fucking asshole and get this shit over with.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9PxPVun-h46q-1Mdv3WiiVG0g46xypTWuunVIzXgAc_cHcqHMgoscOU1K0z8tfniMzdJiuBP3iYidSqQJpxdazxe-bvCMKequT4SkP5Qgle2O53cOUKjmRKcYTtPGP_FSOyKDdBzmxes/s1600/110612_petrino_bobby_001_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9PxPVun-h46q-1Mdv3WiiVG0g46xypTWuunVIzXgAc_cHcqHMgoscOU1K0z8tfniMzdJiuBP3iYidSqQJpxdazxe-bvCMKequT4SkP5Qgle2O53cOUKjmRKcYTtPGP_FSOyKDdBzmxes/s400/110612_petrino_bobby_001_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
When I heard that Kentucky had hired Mark Stoops as their headcoach the first thing i said was "Auburn is gonna hire Petrino."<br />
<br />
Originally this thought made me kind of sick to my stomach...and not because I'm some strongly moral dickhead who gives a shit about powerful men cheating on their wives... there are bigger problems in the world. No, I was more sick because my Falcons fandom still thinks of Bobby Petrino as the fuckface who snuck out of town in the middle of the night with a Dear John note in the players' lockers. But that cowardly move actually ended up working out pretty well for the Dirty Birds and Atlanta has never been better as an NFL franchise. So all these years later I don't really give a shit about what he did in Atlanta, or the Jetgate nonsense, or the fact Petrino just seems like a completely unlikeable jerk. Not even a little bit. All I give a shit about Auburn's next headcoach is that they know what the fuck they are doing and can beat UGA and Bama without the benefit of superhuman QBs. Bobby Petrino IS a scumbag...but he is also THE BEST COACH available. And isn't finding the best coach what really matters. Auburn is a school, i understand that...but Auburn Football is a business and the smart business decision is to just hire the asshole who knows how to win. Of course if you read the tweets and the messageboard and blog rants there is a pretty strong section of Auburn fans who say they will not support or watch the Tigers if Petrino is the coach. So 3-9 didn't kill your love but Petrino will? I guess i can only say enjoy the yardwork on Saturdays then.<br />
<br />
I'm sure this coaching search to go on for a week or two, but when it is all said and done i fully expect that the man who will be in charge at Auburn next season is going to be Bobby Petrino. You can scream at the heavens about the Auburn Creed and values and others such subjections of mock outrage all you want on twitter and messageboards but deep down you are gonna be happy because you know that Auburn will finally have a coach who can compete with the Sabans and Miles of the SEC.<br />
<br />
that being said...if we hire James Franklin or Gus Malzahn i am gonna be hella stoked too, dudes. i just hope i don't have to post something like <a href="http://alifetimeofdefeats.blogspot.com/2008/12/no.html">this</a> again.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-58837748591745474582012-11-25T12:25:00.000-08:002012-11-25T12:28:28.181-08:00least shocking thing ever...Gene Chizik just got fired.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg42XxOTPlVmfLrAQN7DjkXR9Cple2xFXVlIzAGcMQxfDOgQLT6XxmV61GnMGpLBrsUk79s0eqTfflyeiEDMP8PSxJ_RtkSk3oMzsulKGavQ4J4U5VI8vlQeOFLFuefchlWLUx193I6V3g/s1600/127308-650-366.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg42XxOTPlVmfLrAQN7DjkXR9Cple2xFXVlIzAGcMQxfDOgQLT6XxmV61GnMGpLBrsUk79s0eqTfflyeiEDMP8PSxJ_RtkSk3oMzsulKGavQ4J4U5VI8vlQeOFLFuefchlWLUx193I6V3g/s400/127308-650-366.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
It was over for Gene the second Cam Newton declared for the draft. it seems completely insane to think that just 2 seasons after winning the title that Auburn would be looking for a new head coach but after witnessing the state of the program during huge blowouts against Texas A&M, Georgia, and Alabama there really was no other choice. Another year under Chizik would be digging Auburn deeper into a hole that they might not ever get out of.<br />
<br />
so he is gone. it is all over. will the NCAA come in and bury the Tigers with a mountain of sanctions? the screaming maniacs of the college football message boards and comment sections sure think/hope so. <br />
<br />
and now the coaching search begins. James Franklin, Gus Malzahn, Jimbo Fisher, Bobby Petrino, Gary Patterson, Charlie Strong....those are some of the names we are gonna hear as this search goes on. my money is on Franklin. he just won 8 games at Vanderbilt. think about that. wrap your fucking mind around Vandy having a winning record in the SEC. that seems like the kind of miracle worker this young Tigers team needs. Malzahn is going to be on a lot of fans wish list. with Gus as the headman in charge and without a clueless defensive minded coach looking over his shoulder the Tigers might be able to morph back into the Oregon of the South like they were in 2010. the defense is obviously gonna suffer but it isn't like Auburn has been stopping anyone the past 4 years. Fisher and Petrino are the two biggest names and each offers something to make the Tigers excited. Petrino could give Auburn an instant turn around and have the Tigers competing for the SEC title in 2 seasons....but he's also a scumbag asshole that everyone fucking hates. Fisher is a great recruiter who could get top 5 or 10 classes in every year...but recruiting rankings has never been the problem under Chizik. it's what happens to those 4 and 5 stars when they make it to the Plains. Fisher has always been a bit iffy as the man in charge as FSU has underachieved every season he has been there as a coordinator and headcoach. Patterson and Strong are both great defensive coaches that do absolutely nothing for me in realms of excitement and optimism. knowing Auburn it's going to be NONE of those names. and so it goes.<br />
<br />
Auburn has a search committee made up of Bo Jackson, Pat Sullivan, and Mac Crawford who will be helping to find the next man to coach the Auburn Tigers. hopefully Bo Knows coaching searches.<br />
<br />
so long Gene Chizik. thanks for the BCS title. thanks for Cam Newton. no thanks for all the rest of the tire fire you left behind. hopefully Jay Jacobs will be joining you in the unemployment line soon enough. one can dream.<br />
<br />
on a positive note....let's all watch this once more and really say thank you to Gene Chizik. say whatever you want about him being a terrible coach, but he gave us this and we will always be thankful. War Eagle Forever.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9_xMqgnHRuM" width="420"></iframe>JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-87833616439470430152012-11-24T15:59:00.001-08:002012-11-24T16:03:50.348-08:00It's Over. Thanks For Nothing.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq8aIPKX3RswVe8477YTSKpC9-KMRJUymP1BbGW82I8ARtdjwhYS_R4b6le4DjMrHlnHUfKbn9EJeM-Mwz4hYUF3rNs3M5aOemUq99nrkut99AVSLnQl79ohZV9Xz7U4I5DlqIsv22MBE/s1600/i.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq8aIPKX3RswVe8477YTSKpC9-KMRJUymP1BbGW82I8ARtdjwhYS_R4b6le4DjMrHlnHUfKbn9EJeM-Mwz4hYUF3rNs3M5aOemUq99nrkut99AVSLnQl79ohZV9Xz7U4I5DlqIsv22MBE/s400/i.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
49-0. the 2nd biggest blow out in the history of the Iron Bowl. well that went about the way i thought it would. no matter the final score, Alabama could have put up 100 points today if they had wanted to. and so now after several grueling months this worthless miserable season is finally mercifully over. Auburn set several shameful records this year and no doubt 2012 will long be remembered as the worst Auburn team of our lifetime. there's just no way they can get any worse. they could never possibly play with less heart and i hope to god they could never be coached by more clueless people.<br />
<br />
that Cam Newton was able to lead a team coached by these fools to a BCS title basically just solidifies his status as the greatest single season player in the history of NCAA football.<br />
<br />
so what now? likely Gene Chizik will be fired some time in the next week or so. that is a given. but what will Auburn do after that? is a team that fires it's coach 2 years after winning a BCS title even able to lure an elite coach to take the job? and with so many other jobs open in the SEC where does Auburn really fall in line? i really don't know anymore. i never thought i would live so long to see Auburn as the laughing stock of the SEC. whatever, i have nothing to say that isn't being said by thousands of other Tigers fans everywhere. change is coming, i just hope this time it's change we can count on.<br />
<br />
fuck off and die, 2012! War Eagle, forver.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-10167335684448703142012-11-12T10:40:00.000-08:002012-11-12T10:43:26.050-08:00R.I.P. Auburn Football, 1892-2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuSKtv6Ta8o0LPBRCXO_ffBQ0RlABdOk5_DtWoIbrxAUuuVgnudM4a0ILpct6mpNwgs6iAprwXsgWX4zE0QjbFk9BsmWfUuELH2Qux1N5ALnASmAr-klAjZuEj88kaP8sR0OQ7uNqtANA/s1600/i.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuSKtv6Ta8o0LPBRCXO_ffBQ0RlABdOk5_DtWoIbrxAUuuVgnudM4a0ILpct6mpNwgs6iAprwXsgWX4zE0QjbFk9BsmWfUuELH2Qux1N5ALnASmAr-klAjZuEj88kaP8sR0OQ7uNqtANA/s400/i.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
It's all over but the firings. granted 2 weeks are left in this nightmare of a season that will conclude with what an only guess will be an epic blow out at the hands of Alabama but really the coaches, players, and fans are just looking forward to the moment the clock hits 0:00 on 2012 and the Gene Chizik era.<br />
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My experience watching the Tigers being annihilated on Saturday with my UGA grad/fan girlfriend was pretty telling. I didn't yell at the television once and she didn't have the heart to mock my lousy Tigers. I realized that my fandom has already gone through all the stages of grief about six times this year and now all I had was a feeling of complete and total apathy...my rage and sadness long having been extinguished by this pitiful and helpless excuse for an Auburn football team. Congratulations Auburn, you have 100% broken my Tiger loving spirit.<br />
<br />
I knew I should have retired from watching college football after Wes Byrum's game winning field goal passed through the uprights nearly 2 years ago.<br />
<br />
<br />JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-84369400203856069552012-10-29T10:17:00.003-07:002012-10-29T10:25:36.977-07:00does Auburn still play football?you'd think after the worst home trashing in Auburn history that i'd be full of venom today...but you would be wrong because i didn't watch one second of the A&M beatdown and i feel all the better for it. it's one thing to watch a bad team that you love who has a chance to pull off the upset but it is another thing entirely to waste valuable hours of your life on a football team that doesn't seem capable of competing in the MAC. until we have found coaches who can coach without the benefit of super powered mutant QBs then i just can't even pretend to give a shit if the Tigers win or lose. the way Auburn has gone in the tank i wouldn't be shocked if they lose to New Mexico State or Alabama A&M.<br />
<br />
fire everyone. War Eagle.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-87702615715350045572012-10-22T10:13:00.001-07:002012-10-22T10:13:23.367-07:00is Gene Chizik fired yet?no. just checking. let me know, i will be sleeping under my Cam Newton jersey and these boxes of empty cough syrup.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-19060047476946102962012-10-20T12:32:00.000-07:002012-10-20T12:32:32.475-07:00FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_9yG7N0ff4QZ1nuKm1dQ170ZI9hxJw-LT1o-5pBTelxkxX-L3eJDlAxnIPgN7j1_GcyhrrxDKjUH5kun8zuon6RjqWKikXFcNH_dJkz6CeSAuldLtpTf5s1B7-rzSDg0vKQlK-lM7NDg/s1600/DSC_0666.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_9yG7N0ff4QZ1nuKm1dQ170ZI9hxJw-LT1o-5pBTelxkxX-L3eJDlAxnIPgN7j1_GcyhrrxDKjUH5kun8zuon6RjqWKikXFcNH_dJkz6CeSAuldLtpTf5s1B7-rzSDg0vKQlK-lM7NDg/s400/DSC_0666.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">doing more harm than good since 2009 (convinced 2010 was some weird drug trip)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! 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FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!!FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!! FIRE GENE CHIZIK!!!!!<br />
<br />
please, just fucking fire him. and fire Jay Jacobs too. and put Pat Dye on a rocket and shoot it into space.<br />
<br />
it's over. for real. nothing more to say. no more wasted time and effort and emotion. the Chizik era has given us the highest high and now it has given us the lowest low. this is not the guy who is gonna build Auburn back up. fire Gene Chizik today! give him his money and send him on his way.<br />
<br />
War EagleJR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-1548991738865445172012-10-12T12:52:00.001-07:002012-10-12T12:54:38.764-07:00Win or GTFO<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggh7J7BvVU7CnFhSjOzEZy6eNsJJ7JasMGuiNvpPlRtw80gEYmv7hx05NlvLNpLdKSAqHTKTrHqXB1XMyvowGMDk24hPBzNOkRlnrPzzlL51W28cy1TU1UQgtxWVG09jLEqOyAw0y9nR8/s1600/Cam+Newton+Gene+Chizik+SEC+Championship+Auburn+qb3-ZgFGPLUl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggh7J7BvVU7CnFhSjOzEZy6eNsJJ7JasMGuiNvpPlRtw80gEYmv7hx05NlvLNpLdKSAqHTKTrHqXB1XMyvowGMDk24hPBzNOkRlnrPzzlL51W28cy1TU1UQgtxWVG09jLEqOyAw0y9nR8/s400/Cam+Newton+Gene+Chizik+SEC+Championship+Auburn+qb3-ZgFGPLUl.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">that was a LOOOOOOOONG time ago, bro.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
so not really much to say about the Tigers and Ole' Miss this weekend. Auburn is a road underdog, as they should be. i doubt very many people have any faith Auburn can win. it would take a completely dominate defensive performance and some good luck on special teams to even give the Tigers a chance. but let's be totally real. Auburn is gonna lose. hell they might get blown out. by Ole' Miss. that is a very fucking real possibility. and assuming that happens, then what? rumors are all over the internet that the players have given up on the season (not that i needed internet rumors...i have been watching the games). claims are being made that the players don't believe in Chizik and are telling recruits not to come to Auburn. how much of that is true? ehhh, who knows? who cares? also can we fire Chizik's wife?<br />
<br />
a question for the Auburn faithful: At this point with the season completely lost and just getting to a mediocre bowl game is the best this team can do, are you rooting for Auburn to keep losing and hoping it forces Jay Jacobs' hand and he fires Chizik? can you really root for Auburn to lose?<br />
<br />
fuck it. just bury me up to my neck and cut off my ears and cover me in ants. it would be less painful than watching Auburn play football right now.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-8946070516070302792012-10-06T17:03:00.000-07:002012-10-06T17:03:46.913-07:00The Gene Chizik Lose Explosion!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaZ6IIMNJif7enyNt5wz3RooxHIQ8flRheYZpQ_RZqsDLhtvNGTZ6W525dlISUY1dY9mOPKaVIXgPd-1m62zI3AKJ5KMsFy7XEfeNuMwXkuwY13mKwnz-ePGwk84Jdc1aPhGUdeWtxMPM/s1600/i.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaZ6IIMNJif7enyNt5wz3RooxHIQ8flRheYZpQ_RZqsDLhtvNGTZ6W525dlISUY1dY9mOPKaVIXgPd-1m62zI3AKJ5KMsFy7XEfeNuMwXkuwY13mKwnz-ePGwk84Jdc1aPhGUdeWtxMPM/s400/i.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
you know what they always say, "terrible defense beats terrible offense everyday".<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
well that turned out basically the way you should have imagined it would turn out. after playing their hearts out vs. LSU and then going on a bye week and getting a team that looked like it had given up on it's season what would you have expected from Auburn? a victory? well that is because you are a fucking fool. why else did you choose to root for Auburn? probably the same reason as me. your father forced this curse upon you. whatever fuck it. the season is over. Auburn isn't going to win more than 4 games. UGA and Bama and probably Texas A&M are gonna crush the Tigers by about 40 points each. and i am just too emotionally drained to care anymore. Auburn is a joke. they are in the Kentucky and Vanderbilt category of SEC teams. easy wins for the top tier teams to pile up their stats against. our recruits are overrated. our play calling is awful. our coaches are inept. our team is shit. i just don't know what you can say after seeing something like today that is remotely positive. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
at certain points i wondered to myself if Auburn is actually better off under Gene Chizik than they were in the later Tuberville seasons? none of those Tubby teams looked close to this clueless. sure i can't complain about 2010. but let's all just be honest and give that credit to our former offensive coordinator and our super human QB. Chizik was just along for the ride. so the countdown to the Chiz gettin' fired starts today. is he gonna hang on to his job this season? yeah...unless they do something insane like lose to New Mexico State or Alabama A&M. but you know that certain boosters are fueling up their private jets and looking longingly towards Bobby Petrino, Dana Holgorsen, and Gus Malzhan. but no, the Chiz has his job security....for one more year. but anything less than a 9 win season next year should end with a pink slip. i don't care what his fucking buy out is. he is paid to win football games...not whatever the hell he's doing this year. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Auburn won't be down forever, but it feels like we have fallen down and dark deep hole and gotten trapped under a giant boulder and we might need to gnaw some of our limbs off to escape. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
War Eagle, you fuckers. i am getting drunk.</div>
</div>
JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-61694789671618045282012-10-05T23:08:00.001-07:002012-10-05T23:22:27.101-07:00R.I.P. Braves Baseball 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBw_UWfBUlCnbmbg-TnIQnVlEzBgQu2IN3hgvhfdku09oDRsuuKhvKk6n7Q832LeJCbuBbDanHFcOq0Tv9se8AG5GPp25-gW7XFc2u13jMz0noiNWPzp9tHQCl4lpiP_okbb8N9U32zRo/s1600/mlb_a_jones_b1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBw_UWfBUlCnbmbg-TnIQnVlEzBgQu2IN3hgvhfdku09oDRsuuKhvKk6n7Q832LeJCbuBbDanHFcOq0Tv9se8AG5GPp25-gW7XFc2u13jMz0noiNWPzp9tHQCl4lpiP_okbb8N9U32zRo/s400/mlb_a_jones_b1_400.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
Chipper, you deserved better than this...but in your final game as a major leaguer you were more or less one of the reason Atlanta lost this bullshit one-and-done/let's try to capitalize off the excitement of last year's 1 game playoff play-in/the regular season is now fucking meaningless/ Wild Card game.<br />
<br />
facts: he went hitless (that last hit in the bottom of the 9th was a total gift from the ump and the official scorer...Chipper didn't beat the throw and if he did it was an error) and worst of all his error in the 4th is what sent Atlanta spiraling down. at that point in the game the Braves were rolling, Medlen was looking like his magical unhittable self and then Chipper overthrows Uggla and sends one into the outfield and the next thing you know that 2-0 lead is a fucking 3-2 hole. then in the bottom of the 4th with the Braves looking like they were ready to rally back, the Frediot decides to have Simmons fucking try and bunt home Freeman (who didn't even bother to run) and gets called out on interference and Medlen comes up and strikes out and it was at that moment you kinda knew in your heart that the this shit was over and the Braves had choked away a game they should've won.<br />
<br />
unfortunately it wasn't just the 4th inning that was full of fuckups because the best fielding team in the National League turned into my 12 year old Little League squad and decided to cough up 2 more costly errors that helped the Cards gain a 6-3 lead that just sank the hopes of even the most faithful of Braves fans. i felt really bad for Medlen. he pitched an excellent game for the most part and i think if that Chipper error in the 4th doesn't happen then he would've kept mowing down Cards until the 7th inning the then the bullpen would've taken care of the rest.<br />
<br />
of course the delusional Braves fan is gonna hang this whole loss on THE WORST CALL I HAVE EVER SEEN AN UMPIRE MAKE IN A MOTHERFUCKING PLAYOFF GAME IN MY LIFE!!! on the infield fly rule WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME in the 8th...which ended up turning Turner Field into the set of a WWE event (and observation made by most of my friends on twitter that i have to agree with). whoever says the people in Atlanta don't care about their sports teams will forever be reminded that our drunk redneck fans care a lot.... enough to delay the game for 20 minutes by throwing trash on the field and maybe possibly killing Atlanta's chances at a comeback. but whatever, we will never know. i'm honestly mixed on how i feel about it all. i am glad Atlanta fans showed some fucking emotion but then again they look like jackasses. i mean shit, it was like we were Phillies fans suddenly. Atlanta wanted some blood. i was half hoping that there was gonna be a riot after the game. Burn Atlanta Again! it needs to be rebuilt anyways. but yeah as much as that single play sucked, the Braves still had chances to get back into the game. that bad call didn't make Michael Bourn strike out with the bases loaded. it didn't make the Braves strand like 8 million base runners over the course of the game. THEY HAD 12 FUCKING HITS AND SCORED 3 GODDAMN COCKSUCKING RUNS!!!! one bad call didn't blow this game. one bad call it didn't turn Chipper into a bottomless pit of suck. fans will always remember that bad call forever until the end of time...but the Braves are the reason the Braves didn't win.<br />
<br />
and so Atlanta's playoff run enda the way Atlanta playoff runs always end, when not playing the Cleveland Indians, with another loss. a crushing, soul destoying, heartbreaking loss. and the career of the greatest Atlanta Brave (Hank Aaron doesn't count cuz he didn't play most of his career in the ATL) of all time ends with him exclaiming he was the one to blame for the loss. it just isn't fair. and it's just another moment in Atlanta sports history that makes me believe that if God exists and he gives a shit about sports he sure as fuck hates Atlanta....just not as much as he hates Cleveland.<br />
<br />
and finally i would like to announce that i will be following Chipper Jones' lead as i too will be retiring from Braves baseball. i'm just not as young as i used to be and my knees can't take it anymore and my heart is done with being broken. if i need something to make me feel like a miserable loser i will always have Auburn football for that. if i feel the need to suffer along with some stupid fucking team from Atlanta that is gonna let me down in a a big game, well that's what the Falcons are for. the Braves are the only damn thing that even makes me waste time caring about stupid baseball and at some point in your life you just gotta quit things that are bad for you cold turkey. obviously i am gonna relapse and when opening day rolls around next year i will be tuning in...just hoping that this might be the season Atlanta finds their way back to another World Series title. knowing deep down that it ain't even happening again. and so it goes.<br />
<br />
Goodbye 2012 Braves. you were a fun team to root for. i will miss you. Goodbye Chipper Jones, you were the fucking best.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-7482014030858367262012-10-03T08:19:00.002-07:002012-10-03T08:19:42.567-07:00Win Or Die Week<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilwuHh81JomiBJeWXZXsNjSojwWyfL4k4wTEL2jpRxN2GqKLmXaKOrUWa3nI2tFY6KXbV0aYL5rv_030cdD-I3gZdL6ij0GCONZxymDE44JU6Bjq2jsKJMJicmQKPQbBxQM8Lx6AiH8qM/s1600/i.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilwuHh81JomiBJeWXZXsNjSojwWyfL4k4wTEL2jpRxN2GqKLmXaKOrUWa3nI2tFY6KXbV0aYL5rv_030cdD-I3gZdL6ij0GCONZxymDE44JU6Bjq2jsKJMJicmQKPQbBxQM8Lx6AiH8qM/s400/i.jpeg" width="346" /></a></div>
<br />
so we can all agree Auburn's season has thus far been a complete disaster. a blow out loss to Mississippi State, a heartbreaker vs LSU, another loss to Clemson that Auburn could very well have won, and barely avoiding an upset by ULM for the only win of the year. not exactly the kind of performance that have anyone in Orange and Blue looking forward to those clashes at the end of the year with UGA or Bama. luckily for Auburn there is another SEC team whose season is an even bigger clusterfuck and as a bonus that team happens to be Arkansas who will be rolling into Auburn this weekend on a 4 game losing streak. 2 of those losses being spectacular blow outs from Alabama and Texas A&M. if Auburn has any hopes of salvaging there season and sneaking into a lower tier bowl game they need to absolutely demolish the Razorbacks this weekend. i am mean i am not so greedy that i wouldn't take a 1 point win vs. Arkansas...but Auburn needs to do more than win...they need an old fashioned "Get Right" game. something like a 35-14 ass whipping that includes multiple sacks and turnovers and the Auburn offense looking somewhat competent for once. i know it is a lot to expect and ask for but i just can not stomach another completely inept offensive performance. i had already promised myself to quit watching the 2012 Tigers, but like all things bad for me, i could not break the habit.<br />
<br />
so what are Auburn's prospects of actually beating Arkansas? well the boys in the desert have Auburn as a 9 and half point favorite...which makes them heavy favorites in my eyes...at least as heavy a favorite as a shitty looking 1-3 team that barely beat a school from the Sun Belt can be. offensively Arkansas has the advantage of actually having a QB in Tyler Wilson. he played poorly against A&M and turned the ball over...hopefully Auburn's suddenly lively defense can be able to force some more of those turnovers to make up for the fact that Auburn's O currently ranks 117th in the country in points scored and total yards. having ALL-SEC level talent at kicker and punter gives the Tigers an advantage if Auburn's defense can shut Arkansas down. also Auburn's running game should be able to gain yards considering the Razorbacks gave up 218 yards on the ground to Texas A&M. the Hogs are also giving up over 40 points a game. so Auburn can't score and Arkansas can't stop anyone...so naturally we can split the difference and figure the Tigers might manage somewhere around 28...maybe...hopefully. i mean if Auburn can't move to ball this week then they might as well start running the single wing.<br />
<br />
the biggest worry for me is that Tyler Wilson is able to get some time from his awful offensive line and pick Auburn's less than elite secondary apart all day long. i think that is pretty much the only chance Arkansas has of pulling out a win on Saturday. but fuck that...Auburn is gonna win. they HAVE to.<br />
<br />
prediction: Auburn 32 Arkansas 24JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-15125726177894952662012-10-01T08:36:00.001-07:002012-10-01T08:41:39.036-07:00A Lifetime Of Defeat's Completely Useless/Meaningless Top 25so a month into the season and we kinda have an idea who is good (Bama) and who is awful (Arkansas/Auburn/the entire Big 10) and so it's time for one of those meaningless top 25 blog polls that no one cares about me.<br />
<br />
<b>A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS top 25</b><br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Alabama</li>
<li>South Carolina</li>
<li>Oregon</li>
<li>UGA</li>
<li>LSU</li>
<li>Florida</li>
<li>Florida State</li>
<li>West Virginia</li>
<li>Kansas State</li>
<li>Texas</li>
<li>Oregon State</li>
<li>Notre Dame</li>
<li>Mississippi State</li>
<li>TCU</li>
<li>Clemson</li>
<li>Washington</li>
<li>Stanford</li>
<li>USC</li>
<li>UCLA</li>
<li>Nebraska</li>
<li>Rutgers</li>
<li>Oklahoma</li>
<li>Louisville</li>
<li>Texas A&M</li>
<li>Northwestern</li>
</ol>
<div>
and just for the fuck of it....ranking the SEC teams<br />
<ol>
<li>Alabama</li>
<li>South Carolina</li>
<li>UGA</li>
<li>LSU</li>
<li>Florida</li>
<li>Mississippi State</li>
<li>Texas A&M</li>
<li>Tennessee</li>
<li>Ole Miss</li>
<li>Auburn</li>
<li>Missouri </li>
<li>Vanderbilt</li>
<li>Kentucky</li>
<li>Arkansas</li>
</ol>
</div>
JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-21789981426377660162012-09-27T09:28:00.000-07:002012-09-27T09:31:30.401-07:00Beyond The Black Rainbow is weird as fuck and kinda rad.since it's Auburn's bye week and i am tired and thinking/complaining about the Tigers and their troubles i am gonna tell you about this movie i just watched <b><i>Beyond The Black Rainbow</i></b>, a Canadian Sci-Fi/horror movie set in a retro-futuristic 1983.
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv-auU0SYaJbT4CKpAZ8KZ9xJnRL3_-zyuL4hTpDJTNWMs5iqPWNJ1Coz1kRM9WpXrwOrf6_cRtLZ79E7ih_AFsUkF-BylhbxUie32cdY9JX5-nVq43MFume2d617bGOpLZDE4sqB8dVQ/s1600/P1020647.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv-auU0SYaJbT4CKpAZ8KZ9xJnRL3_-zyuL4hTpDJTNWMs5iqPWNJ1Coz1kRM9WpXrwOrf6_cRtLZ79E7ih_AFsUkF-BylhbxUie32cdY9JX5-nVq43MFume2d617bGOpLZDE4sqB8dVQ/s400/P1020647.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
it’s loose on plot and heavy on mood & atmosphere. it tells the story of a mute teenage girl with telekinetic powers trapped in the mysterious Arboria Institute and being drugged and experimented on by this creepy creepster of doctor in a brown turtleneck who is constantly having acid flashbacks and sometimes murdering people. our teen girl hero is somehow controlled by fog machines, lava lamps, and the pyramid from Pink Floyd’s <b>Dark Side Of The Moon</b>. the whole thing feels like an acid trip…or a really fucking long M83 video. visually the whole movie is a bizarre delight that "borrows" from <i>THX-1138</i>, <i>Scanners</i>, Argento, Kubrick, and the nightmares inside my head.
also the soundtrack is fucking rad. think John Carpenter, Goblin, and Giorgio Moroder. it is all the heavy trippy spooky synth shit you can stand. it really is the star of the movie.
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anyways our mute girl eventually escapes Arboria and the creepy turtleneck wearing doctor goes batshit murder crazy and goes after her and then a lot of nonsense happens and basically you have no fucking idea what is going on.... but hey this movie looks really neat so who gives a fuck?<br />
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so yeah <b>Beyond The Black Rainbow</b> is weird as fuck, doesn’t make a lick of sense, looks really cool, has an awesome soundtrack, and is something i totally enjoyed. if you like Kevin James movies this is probably not your thing....but if you enjoy dark oddball sci-fi movies from the 70s and early 80s or you do a lot of drugs then check it out.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nKdWj9-VMzs" width="560"></iframe>JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-46654868580313491902012-09-23T05:34:00.000-07:002012-09-26T07:47:09.268-07:00Fuck Moral VictoriesAnother game. Another loss. A season that I am more than ready to be over with. <p>
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Auburn's defense shows up and plays its ass off only to be fucked over and over again by a completely useless offense with an inept quarterback who at this point should not be out on the field. Kiehl Frazier really is a dual threat QB. He either throws an interception or he holds on to the ball for too long and takes a stupid sack. I wish that joke was funnier than it is just sadly accurate. I don't know if I have ever seen a quarterback who looked so lost and so hopelessly overmatched than Kiehl looks every time the ball is in his hands. It is time the coaches made a change and put the freshman Wallace out there. At least the kid is a good runner. Who knows if he can pass. Who cares? Anything has to be an upgrade to whatever the hell Frazier is doing. I am fine with Quan Bray being converted back to a QB. Just do something. Anything. Fucking hell. A defensive performance like last night deserves more.<p>
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So what can you take away from last night? Well, Auburn did play with heart and gave the #2 team in the country a scare. And with the way Arkansas has completely given up on their season I would imagine Auburn has a pretty good chance of knocking off the Razorbacks in their next game. If Auburn wants to go bowling this season they are gonna have to win games against the other SEC bottom dwellers. Arkansas seems like the Tigers best chance. Vandy doesn't look so hot either. Ole Miss actually has me a little worried. Not that they have beaten anyone, but they did demolish Tulane and Auburn hasn't demolished anything other than my will to live. <p>
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The Season Without A Chance marches on. Tune in next week for more rage and sorrow.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-46909428836458531442012-09-21T12:35:00.002-07:002012-09-21T12:35:45.896-07:00the Death Star is rolling in to town tomorrow.and i don't like Auburn's chances of blowing it up. as an Auburn fan have you ever been more convinced of a fucking blowout than you are Saturday? okay i guess last season vs. Bama i knew that shit was gonna be ugly. oh yeah, and the smashing the Tide gave Tuberville in his final game wasn't that big of a shocker either. but i think deep down in my bones i had some form of hope and faith...like Auburn would at least have a fighting chance because it was the Iron Bowl. but tomorrow i give them less than no chance. i honestly will be shocked if Auburn scores a touchdown. i am thinking 3 field goals is probably the best we can hope for and then just pray Frazier only turns the ball over once of twice. if Auburn can keep LSU under 30 and can manage to get about 12 to 15 points i will call it progress. but if things get out of hand in the first half i would be in favor of benching anyone important and saving them for the Arkansas game...a team i actually think Auburn WILL beat.
shock me, Auburn. just once this season. JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-36335240373640057352012-09-15T13:19:00.000-07:002012-09-15T13:34:54.026-07:00a win is a win is a win but this sure felt like another loss.Auburn, Auburn, Auburn...you are crushing my soul this year. Even when you win I am depressed. After looking like a competent football team for most of 3 quarters you shit the bed in the 4th...started making stupid choices and started turning the ball over and the defense stopped stopping ULM. 3 games in and I don't even wanna watch this fucking team play another game all year.<br />
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At what point is it okay for me to start wanting Auburn to fire Gene Chizik? Because if we are honest with ourselves that Cam Newton is the greatest football player in the history of time and space and that anyone could've won the national title with him as their QB then we must start to be honest that Gene is a terribly meidocre football coach that does NOTHING with his supposed collection of highly rated talent. It's like Auburn has turned into FSU with it's constantly underperforming teams. And it isn't like I have any faith that is suddenly gonna change in the next few years. Yeah Auburn is young...but that was their excuse last year. Yeah Auburn switched their offensive scheme...but that was our head coach's bright idea because he wants to copy what LSU and Alabama are doing despite having 4 recruiting classes of guys that are a fit for the spread. Ughhh...I hate that I have turned into one of those maniacs who calls for the firing of his favorite team's headcoach after every game but I am just being honest. This is the guy NONE of us were happy about getting and now 4 years later I think we were right. <br />
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Someone fuel up the jet. It is time to bring Bobby Petrino to town. He can bang all the coeds/assistants/secretaries/cheerleaders he wants for all I care. God I am the worst kinda football fan.... War Eagle, you bastards. Now it is time for the real ass kickings to begin.
JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-10568798104941603722012-09-13T13:34:00.002-07:002012-09-13T13:36:23.959-07:00Is Auburn Ever Going To Win A Game Again?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">never pass again.</td></tr>
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Auburn are currently like a 16 point favorite (or something like that...i don't care enough to check) against UL Monroe. a team that JUST beat Arkansas last weekend. is it just me or is that line EXTREMELY FUCKING OPTIMISTIC?!<br />
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ULM's QB Kolton Browning (what is with all the stupid K names? parents of children that were born in the 90s are the fucking worst.) torched Arkansas for 412 yards and 3 touchdowns. what have you seen in the last 2 games that makes you think Auburn is going to do anything to stop that from happening to the Tigers shitastic secondary? unless the defensive line suddenly becomes possessed by the spirits of Quentin Groves or Nick Fairley i don't imagine Browning will have much trouble getting near those stats again. so let's just go ahead and assume the Warhawks are gonna drop at least 21 points on Auburn....how are the Tigers planning on matching that? we've scored all of 1 touchdown this season and that was nearly a lifetime ago in the devolution of Kiehl Frazier: Turnover Machine. a Quarterback with 1 more touchdown pass in his two years at Auburn than i do. so passing for scores isn't gonna be anything i would put money on. so how are the Tigers going to get points? one assumes that Auburn will do whatever they can to just run it down ULM's throat and since they're a Sun Belt team one also assumes that Auburn will have an advantage of size on the lines...but whenever the rushing attack has been working we've been treated to either a dumb penalty or the sudden need to let Frazier attempt forward passes. if i was the coaching staff i am not attempting a single pass that isn't some short screen unless the runningbacks and defense have gained AT LEAST a 3 score lead. just run run run run run run run run like it's 1982 and everyone's still running the wishbone. honestly if Auburn would like to just sit Frazier over on the sidelines and run the wildcat every single play i wouldn't fault them. seriously, no passing. if the Tigers employ this primitive strategy they might just win an actual football game. maybe.<br />
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i miss the days when cursing at Brandon Cox and face palming everytime he took a sack were my biggest issues as an Auburn fan.<br />
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<br />JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-84772637772108148142012-09-08T15:49:00.000-07:002012-09-08T16:16:02.641-07:00A Lifetime Of Defeats Returns Not To Praise The Auburn Tigers, But To Bury Them<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello old friends, foes, loyal readers, and people who accidentally stumbled on to this long vacant piece of blogspot real estate. i have decided to bring this useless site back because whining on twitter just isn't the same. it takes a lot more than 140 characters for me to say Auburn Sucks And They Are Ruining My Fucking Life.<br />
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Following Auburn's 2010 BCS title season I felt like I had finally made peace with my long suffering Auburn Tigers fandom. Going into 2011 I knew it was going to be a tough season and there just wasn't anyway I had much to say or complain about while still basking in the afterglow of Cam Newton, Nick Fairley, and those 2010 Tigers. But it's been a long time since then in the world of college football and my rage and despair have returned to me with a vengeance.<br />
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2 weeks into the Auburn Tigers 2012 campaign and there aren't words to describe how I feel about this team....well maybe a few words... Unbelievably Shitty, Fucking Awful, Useless Motherfuckers, Worst Auburn Team Of My Motherfucking Lifetime. Those are some that come to mind. Sitting through 2 weeks of truly embarrassing performances by this version of Auburn is really more than my 34 year old heart can take. This bullshit ages me. How my father hasn't died rooting for this fucking team is beyond me. Even when they win a title there's no real fun to be had. Fuck it. What else am I gonna do with my life...watch soccer? Fuck that commie shit.<br />
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Anyways I've completely lost the point....oh yeah this year Auburn is going to suck in a way that I don't think I would've let myself imagine they could suck. I mean is Auburn on double secret probation? Cuz they seem like a team on probation. They sure as shit don't look like a team that's had 3 top 10 recruiting classes in a row. I understand that they are young...but I didn't realize they were also inept. I hope Gene Chizik sends Cam Newton a gift every single weekend to thank him for the job security that the Chiz currently enjoys...because without that handsome magical mountain of a QB's magical season Gene Chizik's seat would be on motherfucking fire right now. He and his staff might be able to recruit but they sure as shit can't coach. The linebackers can't tackle. The defensive backs can't cover. The linemen can't hold on to the other teams QB. And the offense is looking really fucking similiar to that shitty 2008 one that got Tommy Tuberville's big eared ass run out of town. BCS title or not, if this doesn't turn around quickly then ole' Chiz might start looking for some defensive coordinator work in his future.
So why do we suck so bad? The lack of depth and the quality of Tuberville's pisspoor recruiting classes can't be blamed for the bullshit product we see out on the field. These are all Chizik's boys. I guess Gene has kicked one too many weed smoking 5 stars off the team than he should have. Maybe it was a terrible idea to run your offensive coordinator out of town so that you could get a boring pro style play caller in to town to NOT take advantage of all the spread ready talent you've been recruiting for 4 fucking years. No wonder our quarterback looks completely fucking lost on the field every time he touches the ball. Or maybe he just sucks. I am starting to think that may be the case. Cuz he sure as shit didn't look like he knew what the hell he was doing last season when he attempted a pass. He looks even less so this season without the benefit of sitting the bench behind that two headed beast of mediocrity that was Barrett Trotter and Clint Moseley. Speaking of Moseley, why not put him in the game? Is his shoulder that trashed? I guess Zeke Pike's dumbass should've been given another chance before the Chizik sent him packing. That moral high ground seems real nice until your only options are a deadarmed loser, a sophomore who looks like a fish out of water, and a true freshman who noone was recruiting. I feel bad for Blake and Lutz that their final years on the Plains that their draft stock is going to take huge hits because they don't have anyone to throw them the damn ball. For future reference to any Auburn coaches....DO NOT RECRUIT QUARTERBACKS FROM THE STATE OF ARKANSAS WHO HAVE STUPID FUCKED SPELLINGS OF THEIR FIRST NAMES. Those guys are coach killers.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the head attached to this shirt is full of hate and rage.</td></tr>
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So what do we have to take away from these losses to teams we should NEVER lose to. Well the main thought I have is this is going to be a really long season. Like 4 or 5 wins long. Anyone who thinks Auburn is gonna magically turn it around when LSU and Arkansas are about to crush the Tigers in the next few months is higher than Michael Dyer. Auburn doesn't look like a team that can give Vandy or Ole Miss much of a game. Another thought is that the really great recruiting class we have right now is all nice and everything but the Tigers top priority should be to go out and find a QB who has started for another Division 1A team that can come in and start for Auburn next season cuz we obviously have noone capable of running a pro style offense or any kind of offense on campus. And fianlly I am gonna be doing some major liver damage to myself this year because I am going to need to be shitfaced every single week to get through a year like the one we are looking at. Either that or I could just free up my Saturdays and do things like spend time with my lady or visit my parents or go see some movies. But who the fuck wants to do that when there is football to be watched?
The suffering is back friends. Did it ever really end?
War Damn Eagle.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7639386079408709264.post-31821036269312333922011-12-17T02:41:00.000-08:002011-12-17T03:01:17.117-08:00My Favorite Records of 2011<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqG65LE_iaf9TOOn83vwtviJanTy9XcjTWegwQRyXL_m1bR3rFrtafi2CeDYz5FKfgUwXi6IahwjmJzHZbbMybjM8xdCc5r7BjN63aOERBoqhbmi768JCXbQv7Qi2xOTAxdePx2xBynlFC/s1600/1297898929-885.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqG65LE_iaf9TOOn83vwtviJanTy9XcjTWegwQRyXL_m1bR3rFrtafi2CeDYz5FKfgUwXi6IahwjmJzHZbbMybjM8xdCc5r7BjN63aOERBoqhbmi768JCXbQv7Qi2xOTAxdePx2xBynlFC/s400/1297898929-885.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686496200170377106" /></a><br />2011 was a lot like 2010 for me in that i didn’t really seek out a lot of new music and was more excited about albums i already own getting deluxe reissues than anything current. call it a product of aging. call it a product of laziness. call it being overwhelmed by just how easy it is to find and hear new music and doing to my best to just avoid shit. so i don’t consider this list to be the Best Records of the Year. but these were my personal favorite Albums Of 2011. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Davila 666- Tan Bajo</span><br /><br />maybe i should’ve paid more attention in Spanish class in 10th grade cuz then i might know what the fuck these Puerto Rican garage rockers were singing about. regardless of language barriers this was easily one of my favorite albums of this or any year. Menudo On Drugs (as they call themselves) making a caterwaul of glorious rock n roll noise channeling The Stooges Fun House by way of Guided By Voices being sung by your wasted punk rock friends from high school. Rock N Roll is alive and well, it just doesn’t speak English anymore. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Turf War- Years Of Living Dangerously</span><br /><br />it’s hard for me not to be hyperbolic when i talk about how much i love this fucking record. the story of 1000 nights of bad choices and worse luck fueled by booze and self destruction. every song sounds like an anthem for the lovable losers.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Horrors- Skying</span><br /><br />England’s funniest haricuts drop their My Bloody Valentine obsession and replace it with a fuckton of Psychedelic Furs and Echo and The Bunnymen producing the best album to sit in your room and space out to in 2011. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Minks- By The Hedge</span><br /><br />kids influenced by C86 and Head On The Door era Cure (and probably a little Belle & Sebastian too) make gothy dreampop twee masterpiece. let’s wear all black every single day and hate the world together forever. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ty Segall- Goodbye Bread & Ty Rex</span><br /><br />the current king of fuzz pop mellows out and dropped his best fucking record yet on our asses and just for kicks he did an EP of T.Rex covers too. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">M83- Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming</span><br /><br />as a general rule i am not a fan of double albums. it’s probably because i’ve always believed less is more and also i’ve never really listened to any double album that i didn’t think could’ve been a better record minus about 5 songs and i feel the same way about this record. i also don’t think it’s nearly a good as Saturdays = Youth but M83 still does a better job than anyone of combining my love of Shoegaze and New Wave and turning it into a fake soundtrack for a French adaptation of a John Hughes movie. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Icarus Line- Wildlife</span><br /><br />i’m stuck inside of Los Angeles With The Punk Rock Blues Again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Black Lips- Arabia Mountain</span><br /><br />they might be one of the biggest indie rock bands around but they’ll always just be the kids who i booked at the 40 Watt that got banned for trying to burn their drum set on stage. this year they hooked up with Mark Ronson and took their sloppy garage punk sound and turned it into slick polished pop. a dance party for the end of the world. plus a song about Spiderman being molested as a little kid ends up being one of the best jams of the year. weird. disturbing. awesome.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Grape Soda- Form A Sign</span><br />The best band in Athens, GA make the most danceable party album of the year with nothing but spaced out organ and drums. Heavily energetic dub influenced indie pop. Joyous. Catchy. Fun.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Jacuzzi Boys- Glazin’</span><br /><br />another solid album by one of the best power pop bands around. Plus they inspired some teenage girls to make the greatest NSFW music video in the history of the universe. Singing vaginas and it isn't even dirty.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Smith Westerns- Dye It Blonde</span><br /><br />Chicago brats making pure glam pop. this album is the sound of my nuggets boxed set getting in a fight with my Smiths records. The songs Dance Away and All Die Young were two of the my songs of the year.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Kurt Vile- Smoke Ring For My Halo</span><br /><br />every year needs some good sad bastard music. Kurt makes the saddest and it isn't in some weakass Bon Iver bullshit wa.<br /><br />There were other notable artists who had a good song or two like Crystal Stilts reverbed out "through the floor" or Peaking Lights total fucking jam "All The Sun That Shines". Some other good music by Dead Ghosts, Woven Bones, Real Estate, Wild Nothing, Jeff The Brotherhood, Total Babes, Surf City, and Nobunny is worth checking out. If you have a Spotify then I recommend giving all these a listen. If you love rock n roll then there is still cool shit out there worth finding. Hell even the Black Keys, a band I think makes boring dad rock, put out an album that ain't half bad this year. <br /><br /><br />goodbye 2011. since the world is gonna end next year lets hope their are some fucking awesome albums in 2012.JR Suicidehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14367778966328167533noreply@blogger.com0