FREE MOVIE NIGHT @ CINE

the WSLA (athen's pseduo-political-liberal-rock n roll organization) is doing another free movie night this Friday at midnight at the Athens CINE (the downtown arthouse if you ain't in the know). last weekend they played BATTLE ROYALE (my suggestion), the Japanese teenagers on an island forced to kill one another or else their heads will explode bloody revenge classic. this weekend they follow it up with one of the single weirdest movies of all time: THE HOLY MOUNTAIN. i can't even explain this movie to you....i will just say if you like doing drugs and watching movies with crazy fucked up visuals then this is for you.

Random Thoughts About The Auburn Season at the 1/3 point

High Fives All Around, Bro.


-Chris Fucking Todd aka the One Armed Zombie aka Captain Heisman aka I Am Gonna Shatter All Of Auburn's Single Season Passing Records And Make You Eat a Shit Sandwich for Complaining About Me So Much. thank you for making me look like a jackass young sir. i am always willing to made a fool out of for the good of all.

-Ontario McCalebb = Auburn's most exciting playmaker since the Cadillac & Ronnie Brown days.

-Darvin Adams...wow, having a go-to receiver is UBER-AWESOME

-i have a feeling Ben Tate is quietly gonna lead the SEC in rushing and end up a 2nd round draft pick.

-Mario Fannin is the most versatile Auburn player we've had in ages. watching him makes plays in the passing game has me thinking All-American next year if he becomes the featured running back.

-welcome back offensive line.

-i am soooooo happy that Kodi Burns has embraced the wildcat/wr/redzone threat role.

-welcome back Wes Byrum

-what the fuck is a Tony Franklin?

-Gustav is making this shit look easy. this team is probably going to end up breaking most of Auburn's scoring records. this is all the more convincing to me that Tubby leaving town was a good thing for Auburn. this team HAD playmakers...they just weren't aloud to make any plays thanks to a trainwreck of an offense the last few years.

-the defense is borderline the SUCK. they've locked down when they've had to...but too many touchdowns and big plays. against Ball State i will excuse most of the scores considering they were handed rough spots to defend thanks to muffed punts, failed 4th down conversions, and stupid interception...but overall they still gave up long drives to Ball State and we're dominated for most of the 1st half by West Virginia. when they go up against a team who can score points (Georgia, Arkansas, and Alabama) i could see some real trouble.

-that being said Coleman, Ricks, Stevens, and freshman Darren Bates all get mad love from me.

-special teams is way too special needs. get this shit fixed or there's no way they're gonna win any close low scoring games.

-so far so good. even if things aren't perfect...i can't really complain about 4-0. you guys are already halfway to my prediction of wins for the year. i may even raise that total to 9 wins if you can beat the Vols at home. unless the wheels completely fall off and Auburn goes 1-7 the rest of the year then i can safely say that optimism has been restored on the Plains.

-my greatest fear about this season besides a long soul crushing losing streak is that the team gets too much success too early and it results in Gus Malzahn being stolen away from Auburn by a bigger program desperate for offense (Ohio State) or a possible headcoaching position (Colorado, Virginia, etc...)

Reminders Of The Self Promotional Kind

next Wednesday in the lovely little town of Athens my band, The Agenda, will be playing a show at the Caledonia with a little group from New Jersey that i really like called Titus Andronicus. i saw them open for Ted Leo and No Age last year and they are awesome live. the best way i could describe them is that they sound like if you mixed The Pogues, Pavement, and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band in a blender together. it should be a fun show, come on out...it's not like there's anything to watch of Wednesday night anyways.

Titus Andronicus

It's Kinda Weird That Monday Night Football Doesn't Totally Suck This Year

i might be going out on a limb, but the new team for MNF games might be the least annoying one since i was a little kid. i don't hate any of these guys and i don't want to bash my brains out while listening to them.

Man, if Mutants were real think of the recruiting wars that would start

College Football Pick Em: Week 5

FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKNG PICK EM. this is WHY I DO NOT GAMBLE.

Thursday October 1
1: Colorado @ West Virginia- WV
Friday October 2
2: Pittsburgh @ Louisville- PITT
Sat. Oct 3
3: Virginia Tech @ Duke- VA TECH
4:Michigan @ Michigan State- MICH
5:Clemson @ Maryland- CLEM
6:Wisconsin @ Minnesota- WIS
7:Virginia @ UNC- UNC
8:USF @ Syracuse- USF
9:Tulane @ Army- Tulane
10:Northwestern @ Purdue- Purdue
11:Alabama @ Kentucky- BAMA
12:LSU @ UGA- LSU
13Penn State @ Illinois- Penn St
14:UCLA @ Stanford- Stanford
15:Washington @ Notre Dame- ND
16: FSU @ Boston College- FSU
17:Air Force @ Navy- Navy
18: Ohio State @ Indiana- OSU
19:Ole Miss @ Vanderbilt- Ole Miss
20:Oregon State@ Arizona State- Oregon St
21:Georgia Tech @ Mississippi State- Ga Tech
22: Texas A&M vs Arkansas- Arkansas
23:Auburn @ Tennessee- Auburn
24:USC @ Cal- USC
25:Oklahoma @ Miami- Oklahoma
26:Houston @ UTEP- Houston
27: Washington State @ Oregon- Oregon
Tiebreakers (total pts)
A: LSU @ UGA 65
B:Auburn @ Tennessee 75
C: Oklahoma @ Miami 88

fuck the polls

I was under the impression that following all the upsets and poor performances this weekend that a team like Auburn whose scored points in bunches and been one of the better teams in the SEC so far would easily get into the top 25 this week........yeah not so much.

Yeah, fuck the polls. When you get crushed by an unranked team and stay in the top 25 (Cal) then you are useless to me. Its pretty obvious to me that most of the sportswriters and coaches in the nation just don't pay any attention. Also I call bullshit on USC being back in the top 10 just a week after losing to Washington. What ever, enough bitching here's my Top 25.

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25, WEEK 4

1. Florida
2. BAMA
3. Texas
4. Virginia Tech
5. LSU
6. Boise State
7. Cincinnati
8. TCU
9. Houston
10. Oregon
11. USC
12. Ohio State
13. Auburn
14. Kansas
15. Oklahoma State
16. Miami
17. BYU
18. Oklahoma
19. Iowa
20. Michigan
21. South Florida
22. Georgia
23. Mizzou
24. Georgia Tech
25. Penn State

-the top 3 are the only ones that matter right now. after that the top 10 is made up of teams with either impressive wins over ranked teams (Boise State, Oregon, Virginia Tech, Houston, Cinci) or a team who is unbeaten and could possibly run the table (TCU) or a team living off their reputation who looks like they could lose at any point (LSU).

-USC & Ohio State fall just outside of the top 10...although there's no way they won't end up back there soon. USC plays Cal and Ohio State has 5 easy games before they face Penn State.

-AUBURN IS WAY TOO HIGHLY RANKED IN MY PRETEND POLL...that being said i think they could beat ANY of the teams i have ranked below them with the way their offense is scoring points. do i think Auburn will end the season this high? probably not, but i stand by my pre-season prediction of 8-4...and i'm starting to lean towards 9-3.
-eveything else is a crapshoot.

Heisman, Brains!!!, Either One Is Fine With Me

5 fucking touchdowns! yeah, i was there. it happened.

this having an offense thing is kinda rad, huh?

some random thoughts about the game-
fuck all these night games, when you play Ball State the sun should still be out.
fuck all this rain bullshit.
Auburn's defense is un-good. i mean they're good enough to beat certain teams but a good offense is gonna tear it apart.
at any point Auburn has the ability to break a 50+ yard play with McCalebb, Tate, Fannin, & Zachery. it kinda rules.
i am very much this enjoying shitsandwich that Chris "I Am Going To Lead The SEC in Touchdowns, Motherfucker" Todd is feeding me. i shouldn't even have opinions. they are wrong too often.

at this point i'm thinking Auburn might just be the 3rd best team in the league...but i'll hold that thought for a few more weeks. get to 6-0 and i'll put it on a t-shirt.

Suicide Watch (2009), Week 4...let's just kick these guys asses and go get some tacos

Dear Ball State,

you are DOOMED!!!

love,

Death

it's my first Auburn game of the year so i'm excited at the prospect of Watching Spread Eagle 2: Electric Boogaloo score about 70 points on a scrub ass MAC team who completely fell off the map once their coach and QB left.

The One Armed Zombie and the backfield of Thunderbolt and Lightfoot should all have big games. i'm also looking for Darvin "I Am A Auburn Receiver Who Can Actually Catch" Adams and Super Mario Fannin to get their stats in this one too. anything less than of 35 point victory is gonna be a disappointment.

chances of tragedy: 1 1/5. Ball State is a bottomfeeding MAC team this year after their best season in school history. i see bad bad things for them this year, and this isn't gonna be a happy feel good story on Saturday night.

method of suicide: if Auburn fucking lost this game then the fanbase might storm the field and rip the coaching staff to pieces.

TV PARTY, Week 4....Cancelled

i'll be in Auburn this weekend at the game, kids. so i got no suggestions for you on what to watch this weekend. you're on your own.

on a totally random note, if you are on tumblr then follow my page if you like endless amounts of eye candy and awesomeness.

1 more year for Bobby

so Bobby Cox announced today that next season is gonna be his last season as the manager of the Atlanta Braves. the Braves should be a contender next season with one of the National League's best pitching staffs and a team that seems like it's finally getting it's shit together after a couple of lousy seasons. if Atlanta can find a bat or two then i might even call them the favorite to win the NL East. it will be weird to think of Atlanta without Cox in the dugout considering he helped turn the Braves from one of the laughing stocks of all of baseball into one of the best organizations in all of sports. he may have only won 1 world series, but that's still more than the Cubs have (and most teams outside of the Mega-Markets like New York, LA, & Boston). his streak of divisional titles will probably never ever be matched and he's a hall of famer...but part of me wishes he'd go ahead and call it quits this year. i mean YES a guy like Cox who has done so much for his team should be aloud to choose his own exit and not be forced out of town like Joe Torre...but at the same time i think some new blood might be the thing that Atlanta needs to be a Championship team. with next season being Cox's LAST SEASON, the pressure is gonna be on the Braves to send him out a winner...or at least with a playoff trip. it worries me that it might be the sort of thing that could crush them next year.

anyways, next season should at least be an interesting one for the Braves.

Super Mario Catches A Star

amazing. i love the internet. found via JD's facebook post.

i Heart Trooper Taylor

this my new favorite Taylor quote: "I’m sitting on ‘G,’ waiting on ‘O.’ You know I’m ready to go."

man i love that guy. he's totally gonna be a headcoach in the next 2 or 3 years. and hopefully somewhere down the line he'll be Auburn's headman as well. you know after the Chiz wins us a national title and gets his face carved into the side of a mountain. (oh to dream).

for more on how awesome Trooper Taylor is read this story.

College Football Pick Em, Week 4

the SUCK that is me tryin' to pick winners continues.

Thursday Sept. 24
1: Mississippi @ South Carolina- Ole Miss
Saturday Sept. 26
2: LSU @ Mississippi State- LSU
3: Fresno State @ Cincinnati- Cinci
4:South Florida @ FSU- FSU
5:UNC @ Georgia Tech- Tech
6:Indiana @ Michigan- Mich
7:Minnesota @ Northwestern- Minn
8:Michigan State @ Wisconsin- Mich St
9:Wake Forest @ Boston College- BC
10: Arkansas @ Alabama- BAMA
11:California @ Oregon- Cal
12:Miami @ Virginia Tech- Va Tech
13:Illinois @ Ohio State- OSU
14:TCU @ Clemson- Clemson
15:Rutgers @ Maryland- Maryland
16:Pittsburgh @ NC State- Pitt
17:Florida @ kentucky- Florida
18:Arizona State @ UGA- UGA
19:Ball State @ Auburn- Auburn
20:Arizona @ Oregon State- Oregon St
21:Iowa @ Penn State- Penn ST
22:Vanderbilt @ Rice- Vandy
23:Notre Dame @ Purdue- ND
24:Washington @ Stanford- Stanford
25:Texas Tech @ Houston- Texas Tech
Tiebreakers (total pts)
A:Miami @ Virginia Tech-48
B:Arkansas @ Bama-54
C:Arizona State @ UGA-72

Yo SEC,

Auburn is gunning for you.

I Call Bullshit On Your AP Poll

Washington is in the AP top 25! Seriously? And Nebraska is still in the top 25. And yet Auburn remains unranked by the lazy sportwriters of the nation who only pay attention the teams who have highlights on Sportscenter. What the fuck ever. I blame the yankees. Also USC doesn't take nearly a big enough dive for a bullshit loss to a bullshit team that probably won't even go to a bowl game. Hopefully the coaches poll has more sanity.

Now for my own poll...

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25

1. Florida
2. Alabama
3. Texas
4. California
5. LSU
6. Miami
7. Ole Miss
8. Penn State
9. Boise State
10. Cincinatti
11. Oklahoma
12. Virginia Tech
13. TCU
14. USC
15. Ohio State
16. Houston
17. Oklahoma State
18. Georgia
19. Auburn
20. Florida State
21. BYU
22. Michigan
23. North Carolina
24. Kansas
25. Mizzou

So long to Georgia Tech, Arkansas, Utah, & Oregon State

Hello to Michigan and Auburn. Welcome back Florida State and North Carolina.

Attack Of The One Armed Zombie!

CHRIS TODD, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

That pretty much sums up Auburn's unexpected/improbable/totally fucking awesome comeback win over those couch burning Banjo duelers from Western Virginia.

At that point when Todd threw his interception and it looked as though the Mountaineers were going to just run all over Auburn for another embarrassing blowout, therby killing the 2 weeks of built up goodwill and positive vibes of the Spread Eagle 2: Electric Boogaloo offense, I turned off my TV and stormed out of my house in the rainy Athens night to go get drunk and watch some rock and roll to take my mind off the fact Auburn was gonna suck just as much as last year after all. But a funny thing happened after I pussed out. The One Armed Zombie decided it was time to start feasting on some Mountaineers brains...and feast he motherfucking did.

4 FUCKING TDS?!?! Are you kidding me? Wait is this my videogame Tigers? Nope, just my much hated upon QB whom I called such things as "a waste of a scholarship" and "a turbo douche" last season. On a night when Tate and McCalleb couldn't do a damn thing, Chris Todd started shredding like Tony Alva.

The One Armed Zombie wins not just a game, but also the love, respect, and trust of War Eagle Nation all at once.

also props to the D for stepping up and shutting West Virginia the fuck down after giving up a bunch of big plays to start the game. War Eagle You Beautiful Motherfuckers.

is it just me...

Or is this one of the most boring seasons in college football history so far? Maybe I'm just burnt out. Maybe I'm just being put to sleep by this Florida vs Tennessee game.

Suicide Watch (2009): WEEK 3, Revenge Tiger Style

this is Auburn's first REVENEGE game of the year. i like my Tigers' chances.

West Fucking Virginia. you used to be somebody. you used to be a contender. if you were a band you would be Interpol...you know 2 solid albums and then kinda a dull 3rd one and then you fell off everyone's radar...but you've still got a few killer cuts left in you. Pat White might be gone, but you're still lethal on the ground with Mr. Noel Devine. you know, that dude who ran all over Auburn's defense last year. granted the wheels had pretty much fallen of Auburn's season by then and the defense was so banged up that their were true freshmen on the field and 3rd stringers making up the bulk of the D. still i can't imagine Antonio Coleman and company were too thrilled watching those Mountaineers run up and down the field and destroy Auburn's famous defense with Blitzkrieg like ease. it was ugly, ugly, hell it was FUGLY.

this is the Tigers first real test of the year after obliterating La Tech and the Mississippi State Bulldogs. can the ground attack keep it up? West Virginia plays a 3-3-5 defense which makes passing the ball difficult at times, so Todd could be forced to throw the ball into double coverage which might result in some turnovers. it seems most likely that running the ball is still gonna be the game plan.

potential for tragedy: 8, West Virginia is a solid team...or as solid as someone in the Big East can be. they ran all over Auburn last year and they've still got Noel Devine. this is Auburn's first REAL test.

method of suicide: i'm gonna open up the Ark and take all you fuckers with me.

TV PARTY: Week 3

I'LL BE TOO BUSY ROCK N AND ROLLIN FOR THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL...AND IF I WAS HOME I'D BE TOO BUSY WATCHING REAL TV SHOWS ON THURSDAY

Georgia Tech @ Miami on ESPN 2Nite 7:30PM

is Miami for real? are the Yellow Jackets really ready to contend for the ACC title? are both of these teams gonna make a quick fade and be after thoughts? this game won't end up meaning shit in the long run CUZ YOU AND I both know Virginia Tech is gonna win the ACC anyways. Miami NEEDS this game more than Tech since the Hurricanes have a brutal schedule coming up. i'd bet it on the Canes.

WATCH OUT FOR PIRATES GAME part 1

East Carolina @ North Carolina on ESPN2 12PM

last year it was the doublshot West Virginia & Virginia Tech gettin' served by the Purple Pirates of East Carolina...could UNC be joining them this year? i wouldn't have thought so until the Tar Heels had to steal a victory from UConn last week via an endzone penalty for a safety (the closest thing to 3-2 suckfest i've seen thusfar). i picked North Carolina to win, but it wouldn't surprise me at all if ECU came into Chapel Hill and handed them a reality check.

THE HORROR THE HORROR Game of the Week

Tennessee @ FLorida on CBS, 3:30 PM

The Gators by AT LEAST 40 points and let's all play the Tebow drinking game for everytime Vern says his name. Welcome to the SEC Lane Kiffin. at least you still have a hot wife.

HOW WILL MICHIGAN STATE CHOKE THIS ONE AWAY?

Michigan State @ Notre Dame on NBC, 3:30

once you get tired of watching the Florida 3rd stringers score touchdowns you can flip over and see how Michigan State goes into the 2nd half with a lead over Notre Dame only to turn the ball over and allow the Irish to come back and win.

HAWGS VS DAWGS!!!!

Georgia @ Arkansas on ESPN, 7:45 PM

seriously whoever decided to schedule Auburn and Georgia's games at the exact same time is fucking killing me. anyways i picked this one as an upset as far back as last year. this is going to be the game where Arkansas and Bobby Petrino announce themselves to be FOR REAL in the SEC this year. this is also the game where Georgia learns that they need to get a new fucking quarterback.

IS AUBURN FOR REAL???? PLEASE SAY YES

West Viriginia @ Auburn on ESPN2 7:45Pm

can Tate and McCalebb keep their ground assault going vs. the Mountaineers? can Auburn stop West Virginia's rushing attack? this is a revenge game for the Tigers. i think they'll win by 10....i hope.

WATCH OUT FOR PIRATES game part 2

Texas Tech @ Texas on ABC, 8PM

Michael Crabtree might be gone and this one might be in Austin but if the Longhorns sleep on Capt. Leach and Co then they might lose this...as well as their chances to play Florida and get beat in the BCS Championship. but it probably won't happen. Texas is gonna win this shit...BIG.

Those Rednecks in North Florida Are Gonna Be Fucking Stoked If This Happens

i just wanna go on record that my friend Mike and I called THIS 2 years ago.

so apparently the Jaguars are already thinking about drafting Football Jesus to help bring fans back to their boring team. i'd call this a no-brainer for at least the first couple of seasons until Tebow flames out and begins his quest to become either the new Jerry Falwell or a Republican Senator from the state of Florida and eventually the President.

Another Shameless Reminder About This Weekend

Hey look mom, they put me on the cover of a magazine.


the FLAGPOLE wrote a nice article about the Kindercore Records/ Owl Scooters music festival this weekend. (Thurs-Sat for all the kids keeping score at home.) tons of awesome local Athens/Atlanta bands plus you might win a scooter. this is mostly gonna result in me being drunk for 4 days straight instead of just 2. such is life.

Say Goodbye To Your Nazi Balls, Raiders Fans

Hugo Stiglitz is not a fan of the Silver & Black.


man it's hard out there for a Raiders fan.

last night we got to witness TWO choke jobs from Oakland and Buffalo. one was totally expected (Raiders) and the other was a heartbreaker (Bills).

you fucking gave it away to this guy!!!

like that motherfucker needs any more breaks.
man, i think like is rough rooting for Auburn and the Falcons...but what if you added the fact that i lived in a frozen wasteland like Buffalo, New York? i woulda killed myself years ago.


as for the Raiders...i used to consider them my favorite team outside of the Atlanta Falcons, and it's just like watching a car crash whenever i see a Raiders game. they FUCKING HAD IT and then play stupid prevent defense (the chorus screams, "the only thing a prevent defense does is prevent your ass from winning a game!") and lose to Douchebag Rivers and the Paper Champion Chargers. i hope DMac gets outta there in one piece so he can go be a superstar somewhere else someday.

THE BEST PART OF THE UGA vs SOUTH CAROLINA GAME....BY FAR

i was flipping back and forth between the UGA/SCar and Auburn/Miss St all night because i live in a house divided (fucking Georgia fan girlfriend) but i did get to watch the entire end of the Dawgs victory over the Ole Ball Coach and got to witness this little piece of awesome.

check the Georgia State Trooper fist bump after the Cocks lost and Spurrier gets his.



i love the fucking South for 3 reasons: warm weather, Southern girls, and College football fandom.

College Football Pick Em: Week 3

i already fucking hate doing this.

Thursday Sept 17
1: Georgia Tech @ Miami- Ga Tech
Friday Sept 18
2: Boise State @ Fresno State- Boise
Saturday Sept. 19
3: Caifornia @ Minnesota- Cal
4: Ohio State @ Toledo- OSUcks
5: East Carolina @ North Carolina- UNC
6:Louisville @ Kentucky- UK
7: Boston College @ Clemson- Clemson
8: Ball State @ Army- Ball St
9: North Texas @ Alabama- Bama
10: Tennessee @ Florida- UF
11: USC @ Washington- USC
12: Tulsa @ Oklahoma- OK
13: Nebraska @ Virginia Tech- Va Tech
14: Utah @ Oregon- Oregon....probably
15: Michigan State @ Notre Dame- ND
16: Middle Tennessee State @ Maryland- Maryland
17: Virgina @ Southern Mississippi- Southern Miss
18: Southest Louisiana @ Ole Miss- Ole Miss
19: Connecticut @ Baylor- Baylor
20: Arizona @ Iowa- Zona
21: Navy @ Pittsburgh- Pitt
22: Cncinnati @ Oregon State- Cinci
23: Florida State @ BYU- BYU
24: Louisiana Lafayette @ LSU- LSU
25: Northwestern @ Syracuse- Norwestern
26: Mississippi State @Vanderbilt- Vandy
27: Florida Atlantic @ South Carolina- SCar
28: UGA @ Arkansas- Arkansas
29: Texas Tech @ Texas- Texas
30: West Virginia @ Auburn- Auburn Motherfucker. 1000 yards of offense!

Tiebreakers (total points)
A: Georgia Tech @ Miami- 56
B: Tennessee @ Forida- 85
C: West Virginia @ Auburn- 74
D: Florida State @ BYU- 46

BACK 2 SCHOOL BASH 2009

Hey Athens/Atlanta/People Who Ain't Got Shit To Do This Weekend:

Kindercore Records and the new Owl Scooters are putting on a 3 day festival this weekend in Athens, GA at the Caledonia Lounge and 40 Watt from Thursday September 17th through Saturday September 19th. it'll be a 3 day party and Owl Scooters is going to be giving away 2 scooters for free to some lucky person. my band The Agenda! is playing the Thursday night show at the Caledonia. come out and get drunk and enjoy some great local music.

the lineups for each night

Thursday Sept 17th has been dubbed the ROCK NIGHT @ The Caledonia

Turf War (sloppy powerpop/punk from Augusta, GA)
GG King (Atlanta garage punkers. former members of the Carbonas)
The Matt Kurz One (one man rock and roll band of awesome)
The Agenda! (some band of assholes)
Je Suis France (Athens/Atlanta lo-fi masters of party rock)


Friday Sept 18th has been dubbed the POP NIGHT @ The Caledonia

Werewolves (Athens new indie pop young guns)
Mark Mallman
The Gold Party (Athens Brit-pop inspired Glamrockers)
Grape Soda (Athens psychedelic organ and drums pop duo)
Masters Of the Hemisphere (Athens Indie Pop legends reunited)

Saturday Sept 19th is the BIG NIGHT @ The 40 Watt

Allison Weis (Athens based singer songwriter)
Venice Is Sinking (Athens indie rockers)
Ruby Isle (dance rock trio)
The Young Sinclairs (Viriginia based 60's inspired jangle rockers)
Still Flyin' (San Fran ska/reggae tinged popsters)
Maserati (instrumental titans of rock)

Welcome Back, Running Back U

Ben Tate as Thunderbolt!


Onterio McCalebb as Lightfoot!


hey anybody bother to check the SEC stat leaders after the 1st two weeks? well if you did you'd notice that Ben Tate (with 274 yards) and McCalebb (with 262 yards) are number 1 and 2 in the league(#6 & 8 nationally!)...not to mention that Kodi Burns leads the SEC in rushing touchdowns with 4. yeah it's just two weeks and vs. overmatched defenses, but i have visions of both of these guys going over 1,000 yards and making 1st and 2nd team ALL-SEC.

also congrats to Antonio Coleman who was named the defensive linemen of the week.

Welcome Back NFLs, I Missed You

random thoughts and such from Week 1 of the NFL.



Oh Falcons. You goin' to da SupaBowl. but for serious, watchin' the Falcons manhandle Miami's offense for almost the entire game was a thing of pure beauty. a junk TD by Smoke Dog Ricky in the 4th once the game was pretty much over was okay by me. and in all honestly that shit shoulda been a total blowout of Matt Ryan wasn't over throwing his receivers so much to start the game. I'm feeling it, dude. for the first time in many many years i BELIEVE in the the Falcons.

sadly looking like a smooth motherfucker doesn't = super star QB.


oh Jason Campbell. i fear you won't make it through the season if you keep playin' like this. this is obviously Campbell's make or break it year with the Redskins. they did ever thing they could to try and land Cutler or Sanchez in the offseason, so if J.C. can't lead them to the playoffs (at the very least) then i see him getting shipped out of town or benched next year.

Neckbeard wins it on the most fluke play i've ever seen.


Meanwhile Droopy Dog played like dogshit and the Bears get their lunch money stolen vs. the Packers. that game was pure suck.


elsewheres in games i did not watch:

McNabb got hurt! SHOCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also Jake Delhomme is made of SUCK.

Drew Brees however is made of awesome! 6 fucking touchdowns!? are you shitting me? i'm afraid of what he may do to Atlanta's secondary.

Sexy Sanchez wins. Stafford loses and throws about a million interceptions. my over under for INTS by Matt Stafford this year is 22. such is the life of a Detroit Lions QB.

FACT: Purple Jesus is more awesome at football than anyone since Bo Jackson.


Dear St. Louis Rams fans,

this is your football season.


and for fans out there of the Thug Apologists: i regret to inform you that i've retired from fantasy football as i haven't the love and effort to put into it anymore. and so it goes.

but....

SCI FI FANTASY FOOTBALL! think of the possibilities. Boba Fett is your starting WR, Legolas as your QB, a defense made up of Cylons!!! Nerdgasm.

i'm trying my best not to be a total homer

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25, week 3

1. Florida
2. Texas
3. USC
4. Alabama
5. California
6. Penn State
7. LSU
8. Ole' Miss
9. BYU
10. Boise State
11. Georgia Tech
12. Oklahoma
13. Ohio State
14. Virginia Tech
15. Miami
16. TCU
17. Cincinnati
18. Utah
19. Houston
20. Oklahoma State
21. Kansas
22. Mizzou
23. Arkansas
24. Georgia
25. Oregon State

Get the fuck out of here: North Carolina (barely beating UConn ain't doin' it for me), FSU (barely beat DIAA team)

Welcome to the party: Houston makes their 1st appearance EVER in my poll. Georgia is back...but I don't believe they'll be there long after a trip to Arkansas.

On the cusp: Nebraska, Michigan, Pitt, and the winner of the West Virginia vs Auburn game will be joining the list.

Big Fucking Surprise

Hey, here's a SHOCKER. Michigan is back in the Top 25 of the AP Poll.

As I assumed the overrating begins. Northeastern sports writers remain lazy and uninterested in anyone other than traditional powers. Whatevs.

WHATCHU KNOW 'BOUT THEM DURTY BURDS!?!

ah shit!!!!!

Fucknuts McWhitey, Burner Turner, Rowdy Roddy, Big John, All Them Burds Bout To Get They Swagger On!

Atlanta Falcons Motherfucker!


SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

Lil' Scrappy Will Get You Pumped To Get Yo Azz Crunk!

Spread Eagle 2: Electric Boogaloo, i think i LOVE U.

WildKodi is scoring all Yr touchdowns and ain't shit U gonna do 'bout it.

589 TOTAL YARDS!

49 POINTS!

TWO RBS OVER 100 YARDS ON THE GROUND!

DARVIN ADAMS WITH OVER 100 YARDS RECEIVING!

KODI BURNS WITH 4 TOUCHDOWNS!!!! (3 rushing...i hope you got him in your SEC fantasy league)

OH WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!

49 > 3...that's all i care about. could the defense have played a little better? sure, but i'll take a blowout win any day of the week.

i'm loving the Tate and McCalebb show! THunderbolt (Tate) & Lightfoot (McCalebb) 4EVER!!!

i'm loving the unstoppable WildKodi in the redzone. Burns may end up with about 15 touchdowns if this keeps up.

Todd is def the right man to play QB, but it seems obvious to me that Burns is a true leader. The way he's making the most of his new position makes my heart swell with pride. Plus that block he made was awesome.

i'm loving Darvin Adams! (any word on his injury? couldn't find anything.)

Okay now for the hyperbole portion of this post: yes it's only been 2 games and yes against weak opponents, but can you honestly tell me that Auburn doesn't look like the 3rd or 4th best team in the SEC so far. I've watched LSU, UGA, & Tennessee and I don't see any reason the Tigers can't beat them all. And I still don't believe in Ole Miss. I think Arkansas will be a real test, but other than that the SEC just isn't making me scared so far. Of course for me to really get excited then Auburn will have to beat a big boy, but I'm feeling a lot better about this team in week 2 than I ever imagined I would.

i'm loving my Auburn Tigers again.

WAR EAGLE MOTHERFUCKER!!!

if this box score doesn't give you a football boner then i guess you are dead.