Lies the NFL told me: your fancy college offense don't work in my NFL

NFL Fact: the spread offense doesn't work in the National Football League.

Oh really? Well I am currently watching an NFL matchup between the Saints and Patriots and BOTH of these teams run a fucking spread offense. These offenses have way more in common with what Auburn does than with some boring old Power I or West Coast philosophy. The idea that any player or offense or style "can't work" is the sort of bullshit uncreative thinking that makes college football fans roll their eyes into the backs of their skulls and go into a coma when they listen to NFL "experts" spout their garbage.

Fuck going to Notre Dame, Urban Meyer should go to the NFL.

random cryassery from section 48, row 32, seat 12 of Jordan-Hare

My ass is freezing, so maybe that has something to do with my foul mood...either that or it could be having to watch whatever the fuck Auburn is calling an offense tonight vs. Kentucky. It's gonna be a long drive home if they don't get their shit together in the 2nd half.

Spread Eagle 2: Electric Boogaloo, i think i LOVE U.

WildKodi is scoring all Yr touchdowns and ain't shit U gonna do 'bout it.

589 TOTAL YARDS!

49 POINTS!

TWO RBS OVER 100 YARDS ON THE GROUND!

DARVIN ADAMS WITH OVER 100 YARDS RECEIVING!

KODI BURNS WITH 4 TOUCHDOWNS!!!! (3 rushing...i hope you got him in your SEC fantasy league)

OH WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!

49 > 3...that's all i care about. could the defense have played a little better? sure, but i'll take a blowout win any day of the week.

i'm loving the Tate and McCalebb show! THunderbolt (Tate) & Lightfoot (McCalebb) 4EVER!!!

i'm loving the unstoppable WildKodi in the redzone. Burns may end up with about 15 touchdowns if this keeps up.

Todd is def the right man to play QB, but it seems obvious to me that Burns is a true leader. The way he's making the most of his new position makes my heart swell with pride. Plus that block he made was awesome.

i'm loving Darvin Adams! (any word on his injury? couldn't find anything.)

Okay now for the hyperbole portion of this post: yes it's only been 2 games and yes against weak opponents, but can you honestly tell me that Auburn doesn't look like the 3rd or 4th best team in the SEC so far. I've watched LSU, UGA, & Tennessee and I don't see any reason the Tigers can't beat them all. And I still don't believe in Ole Miss. I think Arkansas will be a real test, but other than that the SEC just isn't making me scared so far. Of course for me to really get excited then Auburn will have to beat a big boy, but I'm feeling a lot better about this team in week 2 than I ever imagined I would.

i'm loving my Auburn Tigers again.

WAR EAGLE MOTHERFUCKER!!!

if this box score doesn't give you a football boner then i guess you are dead.

See Tristan Run

via THE JCCW (rip) twitter feed.

Tristan Davis showing us all how badly he was misused at Auburn last year in this pre-season game.


fuck you Tuberville/Tony Franklin/Whoever the Fuck was Running That Turd Of An Offense last year.

Douche Alert

via the Auburner. Franklin Speaks, not that anyone cares anymore. Auburn is a place where distrust and paranoia reign supreme and blah blah blah...who fucking cares what this dude says? That's some old shit, I'm over it.

i have a song for you Mr. Franklin.


I really overuse the word douchebag. I think it's time I got a new insult.
Cockgoblin
Jerkoff
Gaywad
Fuckface

Ehhh, I still like douchebag best.

Well That Didn't Take Long

Tony Franklin is FIRED!

i'm not sure if i should be happy or in full on panic mode. not sure what this means for Auburn's future running the spread or what will become of their 2009 recruiting class (let's hope we can hold on to Raymond Cotton.) here's Tuberville's quote.
"After evaluating where we are at this point of the season offensively, I felt it was in the best interest of the Auburn football program to make this change," Tuberville said. "I'm not satisfied with where we are and I am personally going to take a larger role with the offense the remainder of the season. We are going to work harder than ever to make sure we consistently improve as we move forward."
...which probably means we are gonna see the I formation and RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING.

so what does this mean for the rest of the season? is Kodi Burns going to be the QB now? is Chris Todd gonna transfer to a Division II school? Are we gonna run the wishbone? is Al Borges coming back to fix this mess? is Pat Nix on Auburn's radar? crazy times are going on at Auburn. CRAZY MOTHERFUCKING TIMES!


in less exciting news, Mario Fannin is being moved back to Running Back. which is pretty awesome. let's hope it's because they are gonna be running the fucking ball like crazy from here on out and needed everyone they could spare.

Can We Just Run The Wishbone For the Rest Of the Year...just for the fuck of it?

ah Spread Offenses...the wave of the future in college football. they are totally awesome. you can score shit tons of points and it's super exciting! yeah, not so much. i guess it helps when you have a QB like Chase Daniel and wideouts like Percy Harvin and Jeremy Maclin. but if you are say Auburn, and have a noodle armed JC transfer and a young athletic kid who can't hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat trying to run the damn thing it sort of looks more like this:

and so here we are. the season is halfway through and we have no fucking offense to speak of and an injured and overworked defense just trying to keep the pieces together as everything collapses around us. and so what do we do now? most people wanna see Auburn fire Tony Franklin and go back to the power I formation. that still won't solve the biggest problem of all though...we don't have any fucking QBs. and so i am calling for a much stupider and crazier change. let's just run the wishbone for the rest of the year. it'll be like 1981 all over again. we can stick Kodi Burns in at QB and line up Ben Tate, Mario Fannin, and Brad Lester all in the backfield at the same time. IT'LL BE AWESOME. or a total trainwreck...which is far more likely. but hell, the triple option is working pretty damn well for Georgia Tech...might as well give it a shot for the Tigers. granted noone on our staff probably knows how to run it and all our recruits might just decide to decommit all at once and the earth may stop spinning and we might all be sucked into a blackhole...but it's worth the risk, if only because it'd be more fun to watch than the current bullshit going on right now on the Plains.

for awesome video proof at how unstoppable we would be just check this out


lost in the shuffle of anger and crying is how awesome Ben Tate played on Saturday. it's no doubt in my mind that he has become the heart and soul of this Auburn team and whatever gets to ball in his hands as much as possible is the offense that we should be running.

Where's the reset button on this game?

while Auburn fans sit around and gather their torches to go run Tony Franklin out of town they might wanna read this article first. that being said, where's firetonyfranklin.com?

"The Spread is dead, baby. The Spread is dead."

well so much for that. Coach Tubs pulled the plug on the Tony Franklin System just 5 games into it's first season. hopefully this will also mean Chris Todd can take up a nice little seat on the bench and we can get a healthy does of Kodi Burns running around and making plays and Mario Fannin in the newly ripped off War Eagle formation (aka the Wild Cat/ Wild Hawg/ Wild Rebel/ etc....). as an Auburn fan it's kind of disappointing to see the Tigers just completely abandon their new offense this early on, but i mean...the shit wasn't working, and now they'll be running an offense called "Let's score Fucking Points". oh well, my Auburn PUNT FOR VICTORY shirts will just have to wait.

i'll assume from here on out we'll see a healthy dose of the QB under center and the run game taking over as the feature of the offense instead of the wonders of the 4 yard passing route. obviously this gives Auburn a lot better chance of winning games THIS SEASON...but what about the future? i wouldn't at all be surprised if Tony Franklin isn't already looking for work elsewhere since it's pretty obvious the CTT isn't gonna let him have full control of this offense. and what will this mean for Auburn's recruiting class? if The Spread Eagle isn't the future at Auburn then it's likely that Ray Cotton is probably gonna be looking for another school where he can show off his talents. same thing can be said for the smaller quicker wide receivers and running backs that are a large percentage of next year's class. maybe i'm just jumping the gun and expecting the worst...but it seems like a good possibility.