Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Why Do I Listen To Talk Radio?

is it because i hate myself? is it because i like to make my brain angry? is it because the thought of listening to music on the radio makes me throw up in my own mouth? i don't think i have an answer to the question...i just know that during the day as i drive around i am constantly doing damage to my psyche by exposing myself to hours of sportstalk radio.

today Cowherd was talking about how good the Orlando Magic are and how this is gonna be a great series and blah blah blah words words words hyperbole hyperbole hyperbole. this is less than a week after Orlando got blown out in game 1 by LA and Colin said the series was over...a series that he didn't even think was gonna happen less than a month ago when the Lakers got blown out by Houston during a round 2 game and he called them SOFT and said they were gonna get beat up and manhandled by Denver in the Western conference finals. then he spent 5 mins ripping the Olympics because Kobe is worn out. douche points currently at a MAX. i mean dude, do you ever stick by anything you say? ever? just once? No...okay, just checking.

after 20 minutes of cupping the Magic's balls just in case they somehow win the finals so that he can go back and say he picked them to win the series, he spent 30 minutes trashing Tim Floyd for quiting at USC (a job he was probably gonna get fired from in a month anyways), college basketball fans in general, and then Kentucky. he kept calling Tim Floyd "Tim Shady" and playing the Enimem song "The Real Slim Shady" over and over again...way to keep shit fresh and relevant dog. for a guy who is constantly referring to himself as hip and young (really? i didn't know mid 40s was considered young in the entertainment world.) he is the king of outdated jokes and pop culture references. then after mocking some college basketball fans for no apparent reason he then began rambling on about why the NFL is the only sports league that "Gets It" and at that point i just turned on the new Sonic Youth record and went about my business.

there really was no point to this post. anyone with half a brain knows Cowherd is the biggest douchebag in the history of douchebags and his failures as both a host and a human being are widely documented on these here Internets. mostly this is a desperate cry to myself from myself to quit putting myself through the daily torture of listening to this asshole suck up Oxygen and spit obvious facts, pointless statements, and bullshit theories into the universe.

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