some random awesome

vintage Miami Dolphins cheerleader.

you are welcome.

Bye Week

I'm taking advantage of Auburn's bye week and the Falcons plummet of doom to record new jams with my band, so posting may or may not happen much this week. so if you want F-Bombs and angry rants you might have to search for some message boards.

also i wanted to post a link to this online article for the Flagpole (here in Athens) written by Jeremy Henderson of the War Eagle Reader about the Rise or The Closet of the Hipster Football Fan. it's a pretty funny concept and pretty dead on and also there quotes from that guy who writes HEY JENNY SLATER and me as well as a few other. it's a good read if you happen to be an indie rock nerd who has ever been on tour with your band during football season and had nearly come to blows with a bandmate about turning the radio to the football game so that you could listen.

a reminder

The Tide Is Coming...

if this blog was a movie it would be a teen melodrama

sometimes i like to pretend that my blog is a teen melodrama set sometime in the late 80s or early 90s in some boring suburban town. it’s kinda like a mix between the existential ramblings of Dazed and Confused and the dumb party scenes of Can’t Hardly Wait with maybe some class warfare stolen from the Outsiders for good measure….you know something that wouldn’t do well in the theater but would get a nice cult following on DVD.

there’d be a smart ass angsty kid who would be the hero, and a hot chick with the face of Rachel Leigh Cook and the ass of Blake Lively that our hero pines for, and his friends would be a nerdy sci-fi/horror loving guy, a punk rock dude, and a smart awkward chick who we all know he’s gonna end up with in the end.

and it would have a killer soundtrack

Sonic Youth- schizophrenia
The Verlaines- pyromaniac
The Undertones- teenage kicks
The Replacements- sixteen blue
The Strokes- barely legal
The Nerves- when you find out
The Beach Boys- girl don’t tell me
The Lemonheads- if i could talk i’d tell you
The Clean- i wait around
Teenage Fanclub- star sign
Lilys- will my lord be gardening
Shocking Pinks- emily
The Jesus & Mary Chain- happy when it rains
Velvet Underground- there she goes again
The Seeds- can’t seem to make you mine
Buzzcocks- love is lies
Thin Lizzy- romeo and the lonely girl
Neil Young- everybody knows this is nowhere
Tall Dwarfs- baby it’s over
Husker Du- i apologize
Turf War- cheers to the years
Johnny Thunders- you can’t put your arms around a memory

for your downloading pleasure a link.

THE NFL, Halfway point guessing game

THE BENGALS RULE....aka thing i'd never thought i'd say about this year.

so, we're past the halfway point in the season and everyone has played at least 8 games and we've got a nice idea of who rules and who sucks and then after that we have no clue.


AFC

gonna make the playoffs

Colts
Patriots
Bengals

probably gonna make the playoffs

Chargers
Steelers

might make the playoffs

Broncos
Jaguars
Texans

i could see them somehow making the playoffs with the way they are playing now

Dolphins

prediction

1. Colts
2. Bengals
3. Patriots
4. Chargers
5. Steelers
6. Dolphins

NFC

gonna make the playoffs

Saints
Vikings
Cardinals

probably gonna make the playoffs

?

might make the playoffs or might fucking implode and die. who fucking knows?

Cowboys
Eagles
Falcons
Panthers
Packers

def not gonna make the playoffs

Giants
Bears
49ers

prediction

1. Vikings
2. Saints
3. Cardinals
4. Cowboys
5. Eagles
6. Packers

random NFL stuff

gonna get the first pick in the draft

so many shitty teams to choose from....but i'd rank em in likelihood of worst record.

Browns
Lions
Rams
Bucs
Chiefs
Raiders

player i am most happy for

Vince Young

reason i am most happy i am not playing fantasy football this year

i only have to pay attention to the games i actually give a shit about.

team i'd most like to see win the Super Bowl if it isn't the Falcons

Bengals

I Need Some New Interests

Auburn loses, The Falcons lose.

but at least i got to see the Manning-bot beat this douchebag.


so who wants to bet me that the Colts go undefeated in the regular season and then lose to Chargers in the playoffs....AGAIN at home? it'll happen.

in random football related news: i am kinda shocked that Jon Gruden extended his deal with ESPN. i figured he was 1 and done with MNF and he'd be coaching the Redskins or Cowboys next year. i'm actually glad he's staying in the booth because this is the first time in memory that i've actually liked the Monday Night Football team.

Do I Even Care Anymore?

unless by some miracle of science Auburn beats Bama, this season is essentially over. yeah there is a crappy bowl game at the end of the tunnel...but there's a strong possibility that it's gonna be a match up with Iowa State. how's that for fucking irony? gross, yuck, puke. also let's give those Temple Owls some love. they are this year's Vanderbilt.

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25, Week 11

1. Alabama
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. TCU
5. Cincinatti
6. Georgia Tech
7. Boise State
8. Ohio State
9. LSU
10. Pitt
11. Oklahoma State
12. Oregon
12. Stanford
14. Wisconsin
15. Clemson
16. Iowa
17. Penn State
18. Virginia Tech
19. Rutgers
20. BYU
21. Utah
22. North Carolina
23. Miami
24. Oregon State
25. Temple (give em some love)

i'm full of sad

photographic evidence of me being shameful and wearing a UGA t-shirt cuz i thought it looked cool. i put a curse on the Tigers. i know it.

don't worry, i gave that shirt away to my girlfriend.

loss to Georgia for the 4th year in a row + hangover + not being able to find my keys = i'll be spending the rest of the morning listening to Nirvana's Unplugged record and Elliott Smith until the Falcons come on. being emo about football is retarded.

sad facts

i'm really fucking sick of this bullshit.

Kentucky and Vanderbilt...

Those are the names of teams who've beaten UGA more recently than Auburn. And wouldn't you know...they've also beaten Auburn lately too.

An entire graduating class has made it through on the plains without ever tasting sweet victory vs the Dawgs.

There isn't enough alcohol that my body can hold to make me feel any better.

Weshaun, Knowshon, fuck all your Shawns!

Fuck It! I'm done with football. i'll be drunk and you can go to hell.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

motherfucking piece of shit cocksucking asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey Lee Ziemba, go ahead and go pro buddy. i'd rather Auburn start a true freshman at left tackle next year than have to watch you gettin' false start penalties every fucking big drive for another fucking year. you fucking suck!

goddamnit i hate the Georgia Bulldogs more than i hate Stone Temple Pilots and Limp Bizkit combined.

to all my Georgia Bulldog loving friends, suck my dick. we are done, professionally.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, Stanford 55, USC 21

THIS fucking happened. what in the fuck?

i guess when winning forever finally ends it ends fucking hard. i still bet USC will manage to get back into the Top 10 in a week or so.

holy shit, my mind is blown.

way to go nerds. just make sure you do the same thing to Notre Dame.


quick question: is Jim Harbaugh gonna become Michigan's new coach at the end of this year or next year? because RichRod ain't working in the Big 10.

Bo Knows That The Boz Sucks

some random awesome for this Saturday.

War Eagle, Motherfucker.

if there's water on the moon then we should go party there

we're throwing a Rave on the fucking moon to celebrate New Year's 2013. join us.

the moon water is free but you gotta bring your own glow sticks.

More Awesome Recruiting News

Trovon Reed committed to the Tigers. he's the number 3 WR in the nation and is apparently a burner. he's Auburn's second highest ranked recruit and has the Tigers currently with a Top 10 class according to Rivals. but you're probably an Auburn fan and already know all this shit. whatever, it's still rad. so just a couple more linemen and maybe a 2nd 5 star runningback and then maybe a surprise or two on signing day and then The Chiz can put a bow on a very impressive recruiting class after his 1st year as a headcoach at Auburn. i may have used some dirty words and threatened to throw myself off the Sears Tower when he got the headcoaching job, but there's no denying the man has done some awesome things this year. i'll drink a couple of beers in your honor tonight, Coach. just make sure you get us a win tomorrow.

the obvious youtube highlights for your ass. complete with some crappy rap song i've never heard before. seriously kids, when soundtracking your highlight videos think about things like song choice. just look at Wes Anderson and Quentin Tarantino...those dudes aren't fuckin' around with some halfasses Young Jeezy ripoff.

Suicide Watch (2010), Week 11: Revenge!!!

JUST A REMINDER: last time Auburn was in Athens, this fucking happened.


if thinking about Georgia players wearing stupid black jerseys and running around and dancing the Soulja Boy doesn't annoy you and make you motivated for Bulldog blood then i'm not sure what will. how about the fact we've lost 3 teams in a row to our number 2 rival? 3 fucking times! that hasn't happened since some guy named Walker was carrying the ball for the Dawgs. Auburn hasn't lost 4 in a row since the 40s. Georgia is also in danger of catching up with the Tigers in the all-time lead. Auburn has only a 2 game advantage. no more losing. it must end now! (seriously please end it now. i can't deal with another year of shit talking.)

this game matters more to me than the Iron Bowl. it just does. if the football gods bless us with a victory in the Deep South's Oldest Rivalry then he can do what he wishes in the Iron Bowl (okay, not really. i don't wanna watch Auburn get murdered again by the Tide. that sucked last year....a lot.)

this is a matchup of two of the worst defenses in the SEC. i don't really see an advantage either way. the Dawgs give up big plays and commit stupid penalties. Auburn has no depth and gives up 60+ yard touchdowns like it's going out of style. i really feel like this game is going to come down to special teams and whose offense can make big plays.

Georgia has AJ Green. he's going to be the best player on the field all day. i could see him going for about 200 yards vs. the Tigers banged up secondary. but luckily Joe Cox will probably gift us a few incerptions while trying to get it to Mr. Green. Walter McFadden could end up being the key to this game.

Auburn seems to have finally righted the ship on offense after falling into some kind of vortex of suck. Todd's throws have been in the mark and he and Darvin Adams are both deserving of SEC honors (Todd won't get it because of Tebow and Mallett. but Adams seems a lock for 2nd team ALL-SEC). the running game is most likely the key to victory for the Tigers. Ben Tate, it's your chance to cemment your legacy at Auburn. give us a big day (something in the 160 yards and 3 touchdowns area) and a win and you'll go down as one of the great Auburn backs. you've been the guy who has carried this offense all year. just give us one more great game.

chance for tragedy: 8, it's Georgia. even when things look bad for the them they tend to pull big wins out of their ass...especially late in the year vs. Auburn. this is still the team that beat Arkansas on the road. there's no reason to think they can't beat Auburn at Georgia.

method of suicide: seppuku, there's no honor in defeat. you've brought shame upon us all. phone a friend, he'll need to cut your head off for you after you stab yourself in the gut.

"Ordinary fucking people, I hate 'em."

Debbi: Duke, let's go do some crimes.
Duke: Yeah. Let's go get sushi and not pay.


this Friday the 13th, the WSLA is showing one of my favorite movies of all time (aka the movie that introduced me to Punk Rock as a kid) at CINE'. as always it's at midnight and it's free. one of the endlessly quotable movies of all time. come out and enjoy the anarchy.

original trailer


the repo code

Some Random Awesome For Your Thursday

UGA gonna Floss They Capes

so my old man sends me lots of Auburn related junk that he finds on the internet and this is something i got this morning that made me giggle. this is written by a UGA fan about his own current distaste with how things are going for the Dawgs and it's full of the sort of self-loathing and mockery that i enjoy. i'd love to give credit to whoever wrote this but i haven't the slightest idea.

This is a rant to an Auburn fan asking about tickets to the game in Athens. I asked if I should try to get a ticket before I get to Athens....

"I think you should watch the first 5 min of the game from the bridge and

then get a ticket for $3. Here's how I see it shaking out:

- Georgia rushes onto the field w/ black capes this time. Yes, capes. Black

ones.

- Georgia wins toss. Defers to 2nd half. UGA captains skip and zig zag back

to the sideline to "floss they capes"

- UGA Kickoff out of the endzone (thank God)

- 5 play AU touchdown drive. B Evans gives up big play touchdown pass b/c he

stepped on his cape and fell down. Extra Point good.

Reshad Jones does the "Superman" dance off the field laughing the entire way.

- AU Kickoff 8 yards into endzone. We bring it out anyway because, hell,

we're wearing black capes. Tackled at the 12.

- 1st and 10: Toss sweep to Ealey (3yds - really 1, but he gets a bonus 2 for

the black eye patch he's wearing w/ his cape courtesy of Brandon Spikes).

- 2nd and 9: Cox throws ball 3 yards behind AJ's crossing route. AJ makes an

incredible catch as he dives back against his momentum and lays out

hoizontally. He was able to make the catch because he decided against

wearing the stupid f*cking black cape. 5 yard completion. Wait, called back due to the

first of twelve penalties we will have before halftime.

2nd and 19: Draw play to Richard Samuel. Enough said.

3rd and 16: Auburn sends 14 people after Cox. He makes an attempt to throw

the ball out of bounds, but steps on his cape which restricts his cannon of an

arm. His ball comes up 12 yards short of the sideline, but it's up in the

air so long that one of the 14 AU blitzers is able to get under it and haul

it to the endzone for another AU touchdown.

14-0 with 11:48 to go in the first quarter.

- You trade ticket w/ scalper for extra beer in your pocket. You pay him $3

for his cape. "

Top 10 Players Who Should Take The Money and Run, 2010

when it comes to the NFL Draft, i am all for kids leaving school early and getting paid. with this being possibly the last year that rookies are gonna be able to sign ridiculous contracts (a rookie cap is very possible) this might the last chance the get the PAIDEST (word? fuck it, it is now!).

staying in school and being loyal and all that shit sounds nice coming from some people, but most of those people are angry old dudes on messageboards who only live for their college football teams and could care less about you kids making a living some day. i say fuck school. get paid and get laid. those are the only real joys we get outta life anyways. sure you might think it would be fun to give it one more year and try and win and championship or a Heisman trophy or some other dumb shit that doesn't buy you a giant fucking yacht and a summer home but just ask Sam Bradford how that can work out for you.

in fact if you look at QBs who were projected to be 1st round draft picks that decided to go back for one more year almost every single one of them dropped in the next draft. Brady Quinn, Matt Leinart, Brian Brohm, and Colt Brennan are all guys who were projected as 1st round picks (with Leinart and Quinn possible #1 overall picks) following their junior seasons and each one of them fell from where he was expected to go. Brennan who would've been a late 1st rounder or early 2nd round ended up a 6th round choice and Brohm ended up a 2nd round pick who got cut from the Packers this season because he wasn't progressing fast enough and they had no patience for him because of his 2nd round status. had he been a 1st round pick there's no way they would've given up on him so fat. this season Bradford is living proof you shouldn't go back...ever. he would've possibly been the number 1 pick in 2009 and now will most likely be the 3rd or 4th QB taken in this draft because of his injuries. he probably cost himself anywhere between 10 and 20 million because he wanted to give it "One More Year". Matt Stafford, Mark Sanchez, and Josh Freeman were smart by leaving a year early.

Anyways This is my list of the Top 10 Underclassmen who could be 1st or 2nd round picks that should say Fuck School and go get paid. i put a premium on QBs, WRs, and RBs because those are the players whose stock tends to take unexpected nosedives from year to year. note that i am not including Sam Bradford in this list because he has already stated he's going pro.

1. Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame- the golden boy of the Fighting Irish was the #1 player coming out of highschool three years ago. then he got to college and went through two years of eating shit and getting hated on and called overrated as the Irish got their asses kicked up and down the field. now in his junior season we are finally seeing what all the hype was about. it's so easy to hate this kid with his douchebag haircut, all the stupid shit he did and said when he was a recruit, and the fact he plays for Notre Dame....but honestly he looks like a future NFL QB when you watch him play. he's likely to be the #1 overall pick in the 2010 draft if he decides to leave. there is no guarantee that'll be true if he stays...especially if the Irish fire Weis and bring in a new coach with a new system. take the money and run Jimmy.

2. Jake Locker, QB, Washington- size, strength, athletic ability. he's like a west-coast Tebow with a better arm. he also plays in a pro style system that makes him much more ready for the NFL. if Clausen isn't the #1 overall pick then i have to believe Locker will be. plus it isn't like you're ever gonna win a title at Washington. get out while you still can kid.

3. Ryan Mallet, QB, Arkansas- the crop of senior QBs has some star power with Colt McCoy and Tim Tebow...but neither of those guys fits in a typical NFL offense. Ryan Mallett however is a 6 foot 7 giant with a rocket arm who is built for an NFL offense. yes, he's only a redshirt sophomore with not even two full years of starting experience but he's the most NFL-looking QB in all of college football. if he comes back next year he could have a huge year and be the top pick in 2011, but he could also come back and play like shit (ala Jevan Snead) and see his stock plummet (ala Jevan Snead). plus the selfish Auburn-loving part of me wants to get that motherfucker out of the SEC asap.

4. Javid Best, RB, California- after that bad fall he took last week i'm sure young Best probably made up his mind that he's leaving school at the end of the year. if i was him i wouldn't even bother coming back and finishing the season. i'd just worry about getting in shape and getting healed for the combine. he's an easy 1st rounder with this year's weak crop of runningbacks.

5. Jonathan Dwyer, RB, Georgia Tech- big, strong, and fast. just like the NFL likes em. all runningbacks worth a shit should leave as soon as they are eligible because the League chews you up and spits you out quicker than any other position. every year you waste in college is a year less you will have to earn cash.

6. Marvin Austin, DT, North Carolina- outside of left tackles and QBs, the position that draft gurus fall in love with the most are can't-miss defensive tackles. Austin is this year's top junior DT...which means he'll easily be a top 15 pick if he leaves early.

7. Eric Berry, SS, Tennessee- Eric Berry woulda been a 1st round pick after his Freshman year if he could've left school. there's no way he'll come back for one more year. not with the likelihood that he'll be a top 5 pick.

8. ALL LEFT TACKLES PROJECTED TO BE 1st Round picks- if you are a big left tackle and you are a junior or a draft eligible sophomore and somebody somewhere told you that someone might take you in the 1st round...go get rich motherfucker. the NFL loves you and wants to give you all their money.

9. Golden Tate, WR, Notre Dame- Tate will probably only be a 2nd round draft pick, but with Clausen more the likely leaving he'd be smart to follow his QB into the draft. wide receivers stock is the most schizophrenic anyways. any WR who is predicted as a 1st or 2nd round choice is insane to go back to school for another year.

10. Damian Williams, WR, USC- USC wideouts have been a bit of a disappointment in the NFL in recent years. this starts to create a bias against you in the minds of scouts. right now Williams is being talked about as a 1st or 2nd rounder. no use if testing that for one more season.

and one more bonus player that i will file under: i don't want him to go pro but i have a sneaking suspicion he will.

Lee Ziemba, OT, Auburn- sorry Tigers fans. don't shoot me for pointing out the obvious. right now Ziemba is a projected 2nd rounder. but there are almost always between 8 and 10 tackles who go in the top 32 picks these days. with his size he could easily fall into the late 1st rounder status. this would be a crushing blow to Auburn with their depth problems on the line...but it's a very real problem. just sayin'.

My First and Most Likely Last Auburn Basketball Recruiting Post

so Auburn landed one Shawn Kemp Jr. today. yeah, son of THIS Shawn Kemp:


let's hope Junior is half as good at dunking and being awesome as his dad. let's also hope he doesn't leave as many babies in his wake as the elder Kemp.

Agenda Show Next Saturday In the Garden City

Los Agendas will in Augusta next Saturday night doing battle with our friends Turf War. it's gonna be a whole lot of boys trying to pretend they are either in the Stooges or the Replacements. which should be a drunken good time for everyone there. if it were Masters Week then Tiger Woods would show up, but it's not...so instead hopefully the city of Augusta will come out and say hello.

Keep Your Fucking Hands Off My Mad Genius!

When we hired Gus Malzahn i had two thoughts immediately: 1. FUCKING AWESOME!!! and 2. Man i hope Auburn isn't TOO good next season or someone is gonna steal him away. well apparently the quest for Auburn's Spread Eagle 2 Guru got an early start when Memphis sacked their headcoach and decided they wanted to make a splash. early reports are that the Tigers Who Only Play Basketball are interested in both Malzahn and Auburn coach Trooper Taylor.

Auburn By Beaver has this quote (via some other Auburn blog that i don't read) about Gustav not being interested in any headcoaching jobs and being committed to doing something special at Auburn...which is just coachspeak for "you motherfuckers better be willing to pay me a shit ton of money to keep my ass here, yo!" i am all for Malzahn being made the highest paid assistant in the SEC. whatever it takes to keep him for at least 2 more years, at which time this ship should be up to full steam and then either we slide in one of the other assistants or pillage another Tulsa offensive coordinator to come run our War Eagle Offense of Speedy Doom!

but yeah, for serious...Keep Away Motherfuckers! he's ours!

Most Underrated Band of the 90s = Teenage Fanclub

Bandwagonesque came out in 1991 and SPIN magazine called them "THE SOUND OF THE 90s". like if Dinosaur Jr. and Big Star had a baby. it beat out Nevermind for album of year from SPIN...but we all know how that turned out in the end.

live footage of Teenage Fanclub at Reading 91. "God Knows It's True", "The Concept", & "Satan" included. the quality of this vid is total shit, but you get the idea. do yourself a favor and download some Fanclub. recommended jams (besides the songs in this clip) "Metal Baby", "What You Do To Me", "Star Sign", "Without You", "It's All In My Mind".

Auburn = IN, Georgia = Out

ESPN has a nice little blog post by Chris Low about the Tigers and Bulldogs and how each program is seemingly going in opposite directions. with our Tigers back on the rise with hope for the future and the Dawgs in a tailspin of sorrow that reminds us of our own SEASON OF DEATH.

a quote:

At Auburn, there’s hope, a sense that a new day is coming under first-year coach Gene Chizik. An eight-win season would be greeted with a bunch of approving nods. Even a seven-win season would be tolerable. It's still the honeymoon phase.
At Georgia, there’s despair. There’s anger. There’s real concern that this program is on a slippery slope to mediocrity in the SEC, a program that’s been the hallmark of consistency under Mark Richt. A seven-win season would go over about as well as a 10-year-old getting socks for Christmas.

Hate Week 2009

so it's time of the Deep South's Oldest Rivalry. AKA the game that matters more to me than any other on Auburn's schedule this year.

unlike most Auburn fans, i do not hate the Tide. i mean i want Auburn to beat them, but it's not a life or death thing for me. i was born in Alabama but i grew up in Georgia and thus i was surrounded by the most insufferable/wishy-washy fanbase in all of college football, UGA. nothing can give me more joy than beating the Dawgs and nothing makes me feel sicker to my stomach than watching Auburn lose to the Red and Black. 3 years in a row is 3 too fucking many. so you better win on Saturday, Auburn...i am serious. this is getting old.

Predicting the BCS Bowls

if we've learned anything from the few years i've been doing this blog, it's that i don't know what the fuck i am ever talking about...and yet i LOVE to try and make predictions (who doesn't?) and so here comes another round and shit that will be completely wrong: what i think the matchups are gonna be for the BCS Bowl games.

BCS Title Game

Florida vs. Texas

Sugar Bowl

Alabama vs. TCU

Rose Bowl

Oregon vs. Ohio State

Fiesta Bowl

Boise State vs. USC

Orange Bowl

Georgia Tech vs. Cincinnati

it would be nice if we could make the Fiesta Bowl take TCU and Boise State, but that isn't gonna happen with the Trojans as an at large. it would be cool to see the Trojans in the Sugar Bowl taking on Alabama...but that would be too much of something that people would actually want to see, so of course it won't.

BURDS!!!!!

DeAngelo Hall....still a big fucking douche. have i ever mentioned i'm so glad he's gone?

on the flipside, Mike Smith will whip your punk ass if you let go of him.

I Don't Think AP Voters Even Like Football

sometimes i wonder if the pollsters actually watch college football. seriously, how is USC ranked higher thank an Oregon team that torched them just a week ago? i mean i know the Ducks choked hard vs. Stanford...but it wasn't like USC was impressive vs. a lowly Arizona State team. media bias is a nice thing if you can get it. also the media shows that it is not unlike a tween and is always in love with the NEW THING by ranking a Stanford team who hasn't beaten anyone of note other than the sleeping Oregon team yesterday. Auburn, West Virginia, and Texas Tech are all more deserving of that spot.

Auburn does sneak back into the top 25 on the coaches side. so that's nice. win next week vs. the Dawgs and likely your top 25 to stay...unless of course Bama crushes us by 31 again. and also we should all take this time to thank Navy for removing any chance that Notre Dame sneaks into a BCS Bowl with their upset win yesterday.

and on a related Notre Dame rant: how does one consider themselves an elite program when they've lost to Navy twice in 3 years? i'm sorry...that's not elite. Notre Dame would probably be a pretty kick ass MAC team or maybe a top 4 Big East team. but the Charlie Weis regime hasn't made them any better than the previous ones. i just don't see anyway that Brian Kelly isn't coaching this team next season...big buy out or not.

and now the poll:

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TO 25, WEEK 10


1. Alabama
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. Cincinnati
5. TCU
6. Georgia Tech
7. Boise State
8. Pitt
9. LSU
10. Houston
11. Utah
12. Miami
13. Oregon
14. USC
15. Ohio State
16. Iowa
17. Arizona
18. South Florida
19. BYU
20. Oklahoma State
21. Wisconsin
22. Penn State
23. Auburn
24. West Virginia
25. Virginia Tech

A Day For the Nelson's of the World to Enjoy

Notre Dame
Iowa
Oregon
Penn State
Michigan


thanks for the Schadenfreude.

and if you're an Oklahoma fan you can look on the bright side, at least you won't be losing a BCS bowl game this year.

Suicide Watch (2009), Week 10...you are not ever aloud to lose to Furman, so don't even think about it.

a visual representation of the sort of advantage Auburn should have over their opponent on Saturday.

some one recently wrote me an email saying they'd take a Faustian-like deal and trade a loss to Furman for wins over Georgia and Alabama...and on the surface that seems like a good deal...but in all honesty the shame of losing to team like Furman would far out way wins over Alabama and Georgia. Auburn isn't supposed to be able to beat the Tide this year...but they HAVE to beat teams like Furman. i mean noone remembers that Michigan beat Florida in Lloyd Carr's final season, they just know they got beat by Appalachian State. it's not worth it.

chance of tragedy: 1, there's always a chance...not matter how small.

method of death: man, if you lose this kinda game then just burn the fucking place to the ground with everyone inside.

Dyer a Tiger, not a shocker, but still rad.

so it's official (at least the verbal, "i'm coming to your school" part) that the nation's #1 or #3 runningback in the nation, Michael Dyer (depending on whose guru ratings you hold as most true) is going to be an Auburn Tiger next season. obviously this is the biggest get on the recruiting trail that Auburn has landed since....well honestly i can't think of an Auburn player is highly rated as Dyer in recent memory.

he's 5 foot 8 and 201...built kinda like a taller version of Maurice Jones-Drew (rivals compares him to Joe Morris), so a bowling ball of muscle and power that should be exciting to watch over the next few seasons. to everyone who has been paying attention to Auburn's recruiting efforts this isn't a big surprise...but it is something that might get other targets excited about coming to play for the Tigers.

i'll always love you, 2002

while reading Pitchfork’s review of the Julian Casablancas solo album (which took about 500 words too many to just say “hey, this shit is kinda boring”. man you know it broke their heart to admit it. all our heroes die.) i was happy to see they posted a link to this performance of the Strokes on Letterman back in 02 when the world was still young and those of us with hope saw these scruffy rich kids from new york not as opportunist poseurs stealing all their good ideas from Blondie and Television but as champions of quality rock n’ roll returning to the airwaves. bask in the glory of what coulda been and try to forget about the fact this decade closed out about the same as the 90s did, with a lot of bad pop music dominating.

TV PARTY, Week 10...this is a boring week

The South Carolina Fade In Full Bloom

South Carolina @ Arkansas on TBS, 12:30

seriously, this is becoming so predictable by now. the 'Cocks start out hot, get ranked, and then start losing every game they play. hang it up Coach, if you can't get it done then i doubt anyone else can either.

The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Fucking Enemy

Alabama @ LSU on CBS, 3:30


LSU is of course totally overrated and Bama's offense seems to have hit some kind of wall...so honestly i have no idea. why can't ties still exist? anyways i actually hate LSU far more than Bama...but i really don't want Alabama to go 12-0 during the regular season again. so i guess i'm rooting for the Tigers? no, i can't do it.

nothing coming on at 8 pm holds any interest for me.

It's Gotta be the Shoes

here's a really lame story i came across on ESPN.com about adidas ending their contract with Central Florida because Michael Jordan's son, Marcus wore a pair of Air Jordans during an exhibition game.

obviously NIKE should jump on this and i'm sure they will, but seriously...how fucking ridiculous is that?

BASEBALL, they're still doing that?

Pedro vs. Petite? what fucking year is this?

baseball = a thing i used to love that was ruined over the course of 15 years or so because of the strike, the whole roids thing...not the actual taking of steroids...but the coverage of it, and the media obsession with the the Yankees and Red Sox rivalry. if it wasn't for some strange since of loyalty i have for the Atlanta Braves (who at a time in my life were the only team that mattered to me...this includes you Auburn) i'd pretty just ignore it all together. sometimes i wish that they'd have another strike and it would kill the old bloated beast for good.

spelling is for nerds

i'd like to take this slow news day to apologize to my senior English and creating writing teacher Mrs. Scott for the daily clusterfuck that is my grammar, spelling, use of punctuation, and general lack of a vocabulary on A Lifetime Of Defeats. i was your star student and look at what has become of me. i blame the public school system, my addiction to the internet, and possibly an undiagnosed learning disorder....also laziness plays a key role. anyways, sorry. i'll try harder next time.

Fucking Shit Fuck

fucking Saints. the sympathy love ran out already. i hope you fuckers get relocated someday.

goddamn shit fuck cock suck motherfucking bastards!

i'm starting to have my doubts on Atlanta's playoff chances.

this blog summed up with one screen shot

I Have Visions of a Florida vs. Cincinatti National Title Game

how are these assholes still undefeated?

A Lifetime Of Defeats Top 25, Week 9

1 Florida
2 Alabama
3 Texas
4 Cincinatti
5 TCU
6 Georgia Tech
7 Boise State
8 Oregon
9 LSU
10 Iowa
11 Penn State
12 Pitt
13 Utah
14 Houston
15 USC
16 Ohio State
17 Arizona
18 Miami
19 Oklahoma St
20 BYU
21 California
22 South Florida
23 Oklahoma
24 Notre Dame
25 Auburn (yeah, i'm a fucking homer!)

A Look Back On the Ugliest Day In SEC Uniform History. Never Forget.

this year for Halloween both Georgia and Tennessee decided to play tricks on my optic centers with their special brands of alternate-uniforms. and i can safely say that other than that time Florida wore those jerseys with the weird ass sleeves (you remember the ONES!) this might've been the ugliest uniform day in league history. i just can't decide whose is worse.

1st up we have the University of Trying To Pull Things Out've Our Ass to Motivate Our Lousy Football Team Who Is Slowly But Surely Descending Into Irrelevance...also known of Georgia.

you know how the Dawgs love to turn shit from Red to Black and think it makes everything magic. well how'd that work out for you guys the last couple of times? as much as i loathed the Black Out jersey (and not just cuz of the beatdown Auburn got) this takes that to a whole new level of suck. the Dawgs looked like a cross between an inner-city high school squad and a USFL team from the 80s.

kinda like the Houston Gamblers except not cool or intimidating at all.

why Georgia (who i have always thought of as having one of the top 10 coolest uniforms in all of college football) would wanna fuck with their look just to wear some silly black outfits is beyond me. at least with the black out Jerseys it's something to sell to the fans. what the fuck are you gonna do with those stupid pants and helmets? i have a suggestion...burn them, along with all your black out jerseys too.

Dawgs are FAIL.

as much as i hate whenever the Dawgs try to change things up at least they actually HAVE black in their color scheme. Tennessee on the other hand just pulled a black out from nowhere so that they could change their teams normal push-pop look into giant fucking candy corns!

what an unholy fucking eyesore we have here.

just what every fan wants...the team to look like a bowl of candy.

i mean, yeah it was Halloween, but that doesn't mean you HAVE to wear a costume on the football field. ugghhhh.

anyways. i hate them both...but can't really pick a WORST among the two. my lean is with the Vols just cuz they look so fucking stupid anyways and then ended up making themselves look even worse. BUT Georgia did get their asses kicked and played just like the Division II team that they looked like. so it still could go either way for me.

and Auburn, don't even THINK about wearing orange jerseys. NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER!!!!

FAITH? i think we just got some back...maybe

so beating Ole' Miss fairly convincingly after suffering through a spirit crushing 3 game losing streak and doing it with big plays of offense and defense has done a couple of things for the Tigers and their fans. 1, it's proven that when things are clicking this team is capable of beating a quality opponent. it's also proven that Auburn NEEDS the big play to hide the fact that we've a below average (for Auburn standards) defense. it showed us that although Zombie Todd is a slow moving Romero Style Zombie, his arm seems to have been reattached through the mysteries of science and he is capable of chunking it down field again.

Big Ups to Ben Tate who is currently the number 2 rusher in the nation. i'll admit that over the past 3 seasons i haven't really ever thought much of him as a back and always considered him the secondary option to whoever else was already on the team but his performance this season has established him as one of the better and more consistent runners we've ever had at Auburn and i'm gonna miss the hell out of him next year. hopefully i'll be able to snag him for my fantasy team or even better he'll end up a Falcon.

so Auburn finds itself 6-3 and bowl eligible with 3 games left. 1 is a gimme (Furman), 1 is very winnable (UGA), and if Auburn can get those two then anything could happen in that Iron Bowl. do i believe Auburn could finish out 9-3? not really. but 2-1 and an 8 win season doesn't sound to bad to me. that sounds a lot like a trip to Atlanta to play a team like Virginia Tech or Miami in the Dome...and that's a hell of a lot better than what we were all thinking after that Kentucky game. so here's to FAITH and gettin' just a little bit of it back.

War Eagle.

it is always one beer too damn many

Things I learned on Halloween 09:

Yes, Slave Girl Leia costumes do rule........a lot.
Bela Lugosi is in fact dead.
Werewolves in Trader Vic's have perfect hair.
Danzig needs your skulls for something, he didn't really say what.
If you mix jagermeister and baileys it will only kill you halfway.
Noone was dressed as Michael Jackson, I'm so proud of you Athens.
I can eat a lot of reesee's.
Nobody has seen Torso before.
Flipper cover bands rule.
I still know all the words to every song on Nevermind the Bollocks.
Jumping on Mike Mills back while he's dressed like Sid Vicious can only happen in Athens on Halloween.
They're dead, they're all messed up.
Wearing a skimask, being wasted, and dancing all night can only result in one thing. Brain death.