It's That Time Again

broke out my unlucky Auburn shirt today (every game i've ever worn this to the Tigers have lost...so any games i attend this year i will be leaving this at home.)

as you may have been able to tell by the complete lack of football related (or anything related, really) posts on A Lifetime Of Defeats the past several months that i really have lost complete and total interest in this blog. with any luck the Tigers will have a great season and i'll get the urge to write some more...but right now i could honestly give a fuck about this blog. so yeah, if you've been following it the past few years then thanks a lot. but my anger and profanity is lacking of late.

Bye Week

I'm taking advantage of Auburn's bye week and the Falcons plummet of doom to record new jams with my band, so posting may or may not happen much this week. so if you want F-Bombs and angry rants you might have to search for some message boards.

also i wanted to post a link to this online article for the Flagpole (here in Athens) written by Jeremy Henderson of the War Eagle Reader about the Rise or The Closet of the Hipster Football Fan. it's a pretty funny concept and pretty dead on and also there quotes from that guy who writes HEY JENNY SLATER and me as well as a few other. it's a good read if you happen to be an indie rock nerd who has ever been on tour with your band during football season and had nearly come to blows with a bandmate about turning the radio to the football game so that you could listen.

IT REALLY IS ALMOST HERE

i've been sleep walking through this offseason, barely bloggin about football, not even buying the newest version of EA's NCAA FOOTBALL to help guide my Alternate Reality Auburn Tigers to a string of BCS titles...nope, i've been too busy with my silly band, my new obsession with tumblr, and dare i say...Football Apathy. but all that changes starting next week. i'm gonna Kick Out the Jams and bust out some posts. War Damn Eagle, i'm even gonna be kinda positive... and not "You've got Herpes" positive, No Way! i'm doin' it up KANYE WEST ALL CAPITAL LETTERS STYLE FULL OF EXCITEMENT WE ARE GONNA WIN EVERYGAME SCREW ALL THE DOUBTERS ROCK AND ROLL.

Hey Dude, Your List Sucks

the Bleacher Report (some stupid baseball blog written by jerkoffs from the North East) compiled their WORST FANS IN SPORTS list. i'll save you the trouble of clicking over and getting hit with all the spam. their top 10 are....

10. the Cubs for being whiners (agreed)
9. New York Rangers (it's Hockey, who cares)
8. Red Sox for turning into the Yankees(i agree with their inclusion but i'd put them at number 1)
7. The Cardinals for being too nice and not booing (what?)
6. New Jersey Nets for not existing (dude, think outside your tiny Northeastern box. no one knows or cares about the Nets.)
5. Eagles for being evil pricks (yes)
4. Cowboys for not winning a playoff game since Clinton (what does that have to do with their fans?)
3. The Yankees for being snobs (okay. i'm sure you can tell by now that the guy who wrote this is a Mets fan.)
2. Raiders for dressing up in crazy costumes and for their team sucking (i think that qualifies them as diehards...but okay dude, whatever)
1. The Phillies for being violent and crazy (also i would agree, but the Red Sox are still more annoying).

okay first off this list doesn't include a single college fanbase which is not a surprise because people from the city of New York are only aware of things that happen in the North East or things they learn on Sportscenter. noone in New York has ever watched a college football game so they would never know how awful/insane/and retarded things are in THE SEC, Big 10, or Big 12. i mean, what about Texas or Oklahoma? no Red Sox fan has ever ripped off the balls of a Yankees fan, that i am aware of. and where's the hate for the Florida Marlin's non-existant fanbase? they've won TWO FUCKING WORLD SERIES and draw about the same as a Double A baseball team. also any list that leaves off the Duke Blue Devils is completely invalid.

Help Wanted

i've become a very lazy blogger over the last few months when it comes to the world of sports. it's a combination of there being no football, Auburn's prospects not being that great for the season, me starting my band back up and being all busy with that, my obsession with my tumblr (if you've got one then follow me and i'll follow you and we can be tumblr friends), and just my general boredom during the summer. and so i think i could use a little help from anyone interested in generating some content for A Lifetime Of Defeats.

you don't have to be an Auburn, Falcons, Braves, or Hawks fan (but sharing my love of at least one of my teams would help), you just need to be interested in writing about sports in an off the cuff kind of way and not be afraid to offend anyone by dropping the occasional (or 50) f-bombs during a post and have a descent sense of humor about the pain and misery that rooting for your favorite team can bring you. shoot me an email at alifetimeofdefeats@gmail.com if you are interested.

also no lame BAMA jokes and obsession with what the fuck The Tide is doing, that's not my scene...that's what Track Em Tigers and all those stupid messageboards are for.

is it just me...

....or does blogspot just feel like its dead (ya know, like myspace dead...not Kurt Cobain dead)? Maybe its time to move this whole venture to tumblr. Are there any tumblr sites out there not dedicated to nude pics of hot chicks or Harry Potter vs. Twilight nerdoffs? Can a college football tumblr exist? Does anyone even care anymore?

3 Auburn Blog Subjects I Am Sick To Death Of

1. Overly obsessed with what goes on at Alabama. Seriously when I go to an Auburn related page and there's some longwinded and utterly pointless anti-Tide post...well my brain sorta shuts down and I quit reading and go somewhere else.

2. Obsession with being screwed out of the 2004 national title. Shit happens. Just be happy that we got to enjoy an undefeated (non-probation) Auburn team and we didn't get annihilated by USC in the Orange Bowl like the Sooners did and then would've been mocked relentlessly for it.

3. Tony Franklin...

Feel free to add your own...

Sometimes Your Blog Makes Me Wanna Shoot Myself In the Face

...just thought you should know.

i hope my blog doesn't drive people nearly as insane as a paticular one that i read does. so many stupid thoughts taking up so much space on the internet. there are starving children in Africa that could use that, ya know.

It's like riding a bike

The Agenda...now older, fatter, balder, and with beards.

so after 5 years of inactivity, my old band THE AGENDA is calling it a comeback...or at least an attempt at a comeback and entering into the whole rock n roll circus, again. we had our first band practice together in over 5 years and i suddenly remember that singing is actually kinda difficult, especially when you haven't done it in a long ass time. right now my voice is somewhere between sorority girl and throat cancer survivor after two hours of doing my best Iggy Pop and Mark Arm impressions. also trying to remember lyrics to songs you wrote when you were 23 and 24 is like way hard when you are 30 and havent heard any of them in half a decade. and they only have like 12 wors per song...short term memory loss is a motherfucker! regardless it's good to be back with a band again as i've definitely gotten bored and old in the last several years.

anyways we are playing Athfest at the end of this month and then possibly an out of town show or two before another show here in September. so if you are in the Classic City and wanna watch me roll around on stage and act like a 16 year old then come out to Athfest and enjoy the trainwreck of awesomeness that will be Agenda Reunion 09!

thank god i have something to do until football season starts.

Vacation Is Over!

Yo Internet, what's been going on and shit? It's been a week...did you miss me?

ESPN blog buzz

Am I the only one who finds this to be the most annoying new feature on Sportscenter?

ESPN recapping what's HOT on the blogosphere = another useless waste of the airtime that could have been dedicated to...I don't know, actual fucking highlights. You know, that thing you assholes abandoned a decade ago.

That being said...feature my shitty blog whenever you want. I'm a whore for page hits.

Random Stuff

it was a long weekend. we watched a shit ton of basketball. we ate too much. we said goodbye to Battlestar Galactica (frakking awesome finale!)...and Indie Rock March Madness is down to it's Sweet 16. yeah, i'm still doing that. no, i don't know why.

also who cares that Curt Schilling retired? the guy didn't pitch all of last year and hasn't been any good since the 2004 season? yes, he won 2 world series and was dominate in both of them, but he's no hall of famer. watching Sportscenter spend 15 minutes talking about his retirement annoyed the hell out of me. they barely even gave Greg Maddux 20 seconds when he called it quits. if Curt wasn't a giant douchebag blowhard who played for the Red Sox noone would care. i know ESPN only cares about the North Eastern baseball teams...but do they have to make it so fucking obvious?

during my random morning internetting

for every child of the 80s who wasted several months/years of their life playing Mike Tyson's Punchout, the Onion has something for you to enjoy.

the KSK have been having some fun doing mock 25 Random Things About Me... Facebook notes by NFL players/coaches/prospects. their Andre Smith one is pretty funny but not nearly as disturbing as the Matt Stafford one.

as much as i fucking hate reality tv, it looks like Glenn Danzig is gonna be replacing Brett Michaels next season of Rock Of Love!!! GLENN FUCKING DANZIG!!! yeah, that guy who sang "Mother" and was in the Misfits. i can't wait to see the crazy goth/metal/punk skanks that they find for this one.


and finally, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs new song is pretty cool.

Zero - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Something Funny To Share

Dr. Saturday has seen your depth chart and he knows your pain. this post about Spring Practice stock players nearly made me spit my smoothie out of my nose. have fun casting your favorite Auburn players in each of these rolls.

something that annoys me

This has nothing to do with anything other than the fact I've been reading everyone else's blog in lieu of actually writing on mine, but what the fuck is up with fucking nerds who write "First!" in the comment section on blogs? Are you fucking 7? First? Who cares you big fucking tool?! It reminds me that these internets are a series of tubes clogged with douchebags and it makes my LOL-hating self wanna punch/stab/kill! I liked the internet better when it was just porn, mullet hunters, and a place for emo kids to hook up. The 21st century blows.

one thing i have learned Post-Chizik.

there are a lot of stupid Auburn fans out there. not that i was unaware of this fact, it's just been brought into the light a little more for me. apparently agreeing with Charles Barkley makes me a Bammer. sweet. sometimes i just need to stay away from the internet.

Why You Gotta Ruin My College Football With All This Political Shit?

this really comes as no big shock to me as i have been living in the South my entire adult life, but i think i may be one of about 25 SEC football fans that are actually gonna vote for Obama. the amount of venom being directed at Barack on all my favorite college football blogs is more bitter and hateful than even an Auburn vs. Alabama post.

honestly i could care less who you are voting for. it's not relevant to me when i'm talking about football. we can just agree to disagree and move on from there. just get your damn bitter political rants outta my college football posts douchebags.