BEST MOVIE OF 2009

without a doubt for me, the Best movie of 2009 was Inglorious Basterds.

sometimes it’s easy to forget why we all loved Tarantino in the beginning…what with him being so in love with himself, but for a movie geek he delivers the goods. every good Tarantino movie is like a really awesome mixtape. nobody genre blends better. by combining my two favorite action genres (the western/and the world war II adventure movie) QT delivered his most entertaining and accomplished movie since Pulp Fiction. it gave us one of the best villains in years with SS Col. Hans Landa (if he doesn’t win best supporting actor then the award then i will be shocked). it gave us the Bear Jew. it gave us HUGO FUCKING STIGLITZ. it gave us the Tavern scene. and most of all it gave me my crush of the year, Mélanie Laurent. thanks QT. you did good. real good.

The 2000-2009 Top 25

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25 of the Decade

1. Miami 2001 (12-0) BCS Champs
2. USC 2004 (13-0) BCS Champs
3. Texas 2005 (13-0) BCS Champs
4. USC 2005
5. Oklahoma 2000 (13-0) BSC Champs
6. Auburn 2004 (13-0) SEC Champs
7. Florida 2008 (13-1) BCS Champs
8. USC 2003 (12-1) AP Champs
9. LSU 2003 (12-1) BSC Champs
10. Florida 2006 (13-1) BCS Champs
11. Ohio State 2002 (14-0) BSC Champs
12. Alabama 2009 (13-?) SEC Champ...and most likely national champ
13. Miami 2002 (12-1)
14. USC 2008 (12-1)
15. Utah 2004 (12-0)
16. Oklahoma 2004 (12-1)
17. Utah 2008 (13-0)
18. Texas 2004 (12-1)
19. UGA 2002 (13-1)
20. LSU 2006 (11-2)
21. Ohio State 2006 (12-1)
22. Oregon 2001 (11-1)
23. LSU 2007 (12-2) BCS Champs
24. Penn State 2005 (11-1)
25. Boise State 2006 (13-0)

R.I.P. Chris Henry

when my friend Kenniebloggins and I started our fantasy football team, The Thug Apologists, 3 years ago we made our honorary team captain Chris Henry of the Bengals. of course Henry was suspended and not eligible to play most of the year and just sat the bench for us...but still he was with us in spirit.

...and so it saddens me more than i am willing to admit in a non-sarcastic way to learn that Chris Henry is dead today after falling out the back of a pick-up truck. (what? that's not how i would've imagined a true thug to go out. but yeah, it's for real.)

the Cat Eyed Man can't be suspended by Roger Goodell any longer. RIP young man.

I Always Feel Like Hollywood Missed Out on an Awesome Buddy Cop Movie With These Two

100 Best Quotes From the Best Show of the Decade

A Lifetime Of Defeats' MAN-OF-THE-YEAR

Ron Swanson

Top 100 Albums of the Decade (2000-2009)

01. The Strokes- Is This It
02. Radiohead- Kid A
03. Spoon- Kill The Moonlight
04. Fugazi- The Argument
05. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Fever To Tell
06. Wilco- Yankee Foxtrot Hotel
07. The Walkmen- Bows & Arrows
08. White Stripes- White Blood Cells
09. Interpol- Turn On The Bright Lights
10. Outkast- Stankonia
11. Radiohead- In Rainbows
12. TV On The Radio- Young Liars EP
13. The Faint- Dance Macabre
14. The Strokes- Room On Fire
15. Ted Leo & Pharmacists- Hearts Of Oak
16. Jay Reatard- Blood Visions
17. PJ Harvey- Stories From The City Stories From the Sea
18. Deerhunter- Microcastle
19. White Stripes- Elephant
20. Q and Not U- No Kill No Beep Beep
21. Spoon- Girls Can Tell
22. Primal Scream- XTRMNTR
23. Black Lips- Let It Bloom
24. Broken Social Scene- You Forgot It In People
25. Hot Snakes- Suicide Invoice
26. Radio 4- Gotham!
27. Elliott Smith- Figure 8
28. ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead- Source Tags & Codes
29. Yo La Tengo- And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
30. M83- Saturdays = Youth
31. LCD Soundsystem- Sound Of Silver
32. The Unicorns- Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?
33. The Stills- Logic Will Break Your Heart
34. The Icarus Line- Penance Soiree
35. The Warlocks- Phoenix
36. The White Stripes- De Stijl
37. Jay Z- The Blue Print
38. The Shins- Chutes Too Narrow
39. Ted Leo & Pharmacists- The Tyranny Of Distance
40. The Rapture- Echoes
41. No Age- Nouns
42. Converge- Jane Doe
43. Comets On Fire- Blue Cathedral
45. The Fucking Champs- IV
46. Phoenix- Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
47. Liar- They Threw Us All In A Trench and Stuck A Monument On Top
48. Shocking Pinks- Shocking Pinks
49. Black Mountain- Black Mountain
50. Lightning Bolt- Wonderful Rainbow
51. High On Fire- Surrounded By Thieves
52. The Ponys- Laced With Romance
53. Arcade Fire- Funeral
54. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Show Your Bones
55. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds- Abattoir Blues/ Lyre Of Orpheus
56. TV On The Radio- Return To Cookie Mountain
57. Pleasure Forever- Pleasure Forever
58. Sonic Youth- Sonic Nurse
59. The Horrors- Primary Colours
60. The Pains Of Being Pure at Heart- Pains Of Being Pure At Heart
61. The Walkmen- Everyone Who Pretended to Like Me Is Gone
62. The Libertines- Up The Bracket
63. The Lilys- Precollection
64. The Radio Dept.- Lesser Matters
65. The Shins- Oh, Inverted World
66. Whiskeytown- Pneumonia
67. The Exploding Hearts- Guitar Romantic
68. The Flaming Lips- Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
69. !!!- Louden Up
70. Kanye West- the College Dropout
71. Modest Mouse- Moon & Antarctica
72. Grinderman- Grinderman
73. Dead Meadow- Dead Meadow
74. Les Savy Fav- Go Forth
75. Dinosaur Jr.- Almost Ready
76. Albert Hammond Jr.- Yours To Keep
77. Spoon- Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
78. Danger Mouse- The Grey Album
79. The Reigning Sound- Time Bomb High School
80. Vampire Weekend- Vampire Weekend
81. The Drive By Truckers- Decoration Day
82. Crystal Stilts- Alright Of Night
83. The Hives- Veni Vidi Vicious
84. Daft Punk- Discovery
85. Spoon- Gimme Fiction
86. The Murder City Devils- In Name and Blood
87. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club- Howl
88. The Panthers- Things Are Strange
89. Dismemberment Plan- Change
90. Death From Above 1979- You're A Woman and I'm a Machine
91. The Kills- Midnight Boom
92. A Place To Bury Strangers- A Place to Bury Strangers
93. Devendra Banhart- Rejoicing In Hands
94. Pissed Jeans- Shallow
95. Blonde Redhead - Melody of Certain Damaged Lemons
96. Beck- Sea Change
97. Franz Ferdinand- Franz Ferdinand
98. Boris- Pink
99. Lil' Wayne- Tha Carter III
100. Out Hud- S.T.R.E.E.T.D.A.D.

Top 100 Movies of the Decade (2000-2009)

01. Children of Men
02. The Royal Tenenbaums
03. Lost In Translation
04. City Of God
05. The Dark Knight
06. No Country For Old Men
07. There Will Be Blood
08. 28 Days Later
09. Munich
10. Inglourious Basterds
11. You Can Count On Me
12. Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind
13. Kill Bill Vol. 1
14. I Heart Huckabees
15. Slumdog Millionaire
16. A History Of Violence
17. The Wrestler
18. Zodiac
19. The Departed
20. Brick
21. Lord Of The Rings
22. Amores Perros
23. Memento
24. High Fidelity
25. Let The Right One In
26. The Incredibles
27. 24 Hour Party People
28. Battle Royale
29. Dirty Pretty Things
30. Y Tu Mama Tambien
31. Control
32. Mulholland Drive
33. Marie Antoinette
34. The Proposition
35. Friday Night Lights
36. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
37. Black Hawk Down
38. Sex & Lucia
39. Milk
40. Thank You For Smoking
41. Grindhouse
42. The Fantastic Mr. Fox
43. 40 Year Old Virgin
44. Superbad
45. The Constant Gardener
46. Old Boy
47. Talk To Her
48. The Virgin Suicides
49. Traffic
50. X-Men 2
51. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
52. Collateral
53. Open Range
54. Good Night, and Good Luck
55. Before Night Falls
56. Amélie
57. The Lives Of Others
58. Brokeback Mountain
59. Wall E
60. Sunshine
61. Shaun Of the Dead
62. Old School
63. American Psycho
64. March of the Penguins
65. Almost Famous
66. A Simple Plan
67. Batman Begins
68. The Darjeeling Limited
69. Punch Drunk Love
70. Adventureland
71. Donnie Darko
72. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
73. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
74. About A Boy
75. Spirited Away
76. Eastern Promises
77. The Hangover
78. Sin City
79. Ghost Dog
80. Kill Bill Vol. 2
81. The Bourne Supremacy
82. Star Trek
83. Little Children
84. Half Nelson
85. Match Point
86. Into The Wild
87. The Squid and the Whale
88. Son Of Rambow
89. Catch Me If You Can
90. Iron Man
91. District 9
92. In The Mood For Love
93. Boiler Room
94. Sexy Beast
95. Syriana
96. Jarhead
97. In Bruges
98. Pineapple Express
99. Casino Royale
100. The Descent

random awesome

i feel your pain, David. click to enlarge for full humor factor.

NCAA FOOTBALL ALL-DECADE TEAM

ALL DECADE TEAM

QB, Vince Young (Texas)
RB, Reggie Bush (USC)
RB, Darren McFadden (Arkansas)
WR, Calvin Johnson (Georgia Tech)
WR, Michael Crabtree (Texas Tech)
WR, Larry Fitzgerald (Pitt)
TE, Heath Miller (Virginia)
OT, Joe Thomas (Wisconsin)
OG, Logan Mankins (Fresno State)
C , Greg Eslinger (Minnesotta)
OG, Steve Hutchinson (Michigan)
OL, Jake Long (Michigan)

K , Mike Nugent (Ohio State)
P , Dustin Colquitt (Tennessee)
KR/PR, Devin Hester (Miami)

DE, Julius Peppers, (UNC)
DT, Tommie Harris (Oklahoma)
DT, Glenn Dorsey (LSU)
DE, David Pollack (UGA)
LB, Derrick Johnson (Texas)
LB, Jonathan Vilma (Miami)
LB, Patrick Willis (Ole Miss)
LB, AJ Hawk (Ohio State)
DB, DeAngelo Hall (Virginia Tech)
DB, Mike Huff (Texas)
DB, Eric Berry (Tennessee)
DB, Ed Reed (Miami)


SEC ALL-DECADE TEAM

QB, Tim Tebow (Florida)
RB, Carnell Williams (Auburn)
RB, Darren McFadden (Arkansas)
FB, Peyton Hillis (Arkansas)
WR, Josh Reed (LSU)
WR, Percy Harvin (Florida)
WR, Sidney Rice (South Carolina)
TE, Leonard Pope (UGA)
OL, Marcus McNeil (Auburn)
OL, Andre Smith (Alabama)
OL, Michael Oher (Ole Miss)
OL, Shawn Andrews (Arkansas)
OL, Max Jean Giles (UGA)

DE, Quentin Groves (Auburn)
DT, Glenn Dorsey (LSU)
DT, Albert Haynesworth (Tennessee)
DE, David Pollack (UGA)
LB, Jared Mayo (Tennessee)
LB, Patrick Willis (Ole Miss)
LB, Brandon Spikes (Florida)
CB, Fred Smoot (Mississippi State)
CB, Carlos Rogers (Auburn)
S, Reggie Nelson (Florida)
S, Eric Berry (Tennessee)

K, Billy Bennett (UGA)
P, Dustin Colquitt (Tennesse)
KR/PR, Javier Arenas (Bama)

Best College Football Players Of the Decade

Top 10 Offensive Players of the Decade

1. Vince Young, Texas Longhorns QB

the 2 most dominating performances the Rose Bowl has ever seen, 2005 National Champ, Won the greatest game i ever saw, best player who never won a Heisman. threw for over 6000 yards and rushed for over 3100.

2. Reggie Bush, USC Trojans RB

2005 Heisman Trophy winner, 2 National Titles, Most electrifying college football player i've ever seen.

and of course this:


3. Tim Tebow, Florida Gators QB

1st Heisman winner Sophomore, best powerback/QB combo ever, broke every record the SEC had that was worth breaking, 2 national titles

4. Matt Leinart, USC Trojans QB

2004 Heisman Trophy winner, 2 time national champion, banged more chicks in college than you can even comprehend

5. Darren McFadden, Arkansas Razorbacks RB

the only 2 time Heisman trophy runner-up, 2 time All-American, started this whole Wild Cat craze, rushed for an SEC record 321 yards in a game vs South Carolina, the most awesome SEC runningback ever without the last name Walker or Jackson.


6. Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech WR

2 time Biletnikoff Award winner, 2 time All-American, most awesome game winning touchdown catch and run of the decade.

7. Calvin Johnson, Georgia Tech WR

best WR ever. no debate. just think if he didn't have Reggie Ball throwing to him for 3 years.


8. Adrian Peterson, Oklahoma Sooners RB

set the freshman rushing record with 1925 yards, finished 2nd in the Heisman is a true freshman, would've probably gone down as one of the all time greatest college RBs ever if not for injuries his sophomore and junior years.

9. Larry Fitzgerald, Pitt Panthers WR

2003 Biletnikoff Award, All American, 2003 Walter Camp Award Winner as a Sophomore, Heisman Trohpy Runner Up to Jason White's sorry ass. holds an NCAA record with at least one touchdown catch in 18 straight games.

10. Pat White, West Virginia Mountaineers QB

my favorite non-Auburn player of the decade...easily, won 4 bowl games, made West Virginia a household name, lead his team to huge upsets over UGA and Oklahoma in BCS bowls, best running QB of all time.

BEST OFFENSIVE LINEMAN OF THE DECADE:

Joe Thomas, Wisconsin LT

most dominant offensive lineman i've ever watched play football. made people think Wisconsin was actually good.

Top 10 Defensive Players
1. Julius Pepper, North Carolina DE
2. Tommie Harris, Oklahoma DT
3. Ed Reed, Miami S
4. Glenn Dorsey, LSU DT
5. Eric Berry, Tennessee S
6. Patrick Willis, Ole Miss LB
7. DeAngelo Hall, Virginia Tech CB
8. Sean Taylor, Miami S
9. Jonathan Vilma, Miami LB
10. AJ Hawk, Ohio State LB

JAWBOX REUNITED!!! = Me Stoked

how come nobody told me about this?!?! goddamn you all to hell.

last night one of my alltime favorite bands of my youth, Jawbox, reunited and played their classic "Savory" on the Jimmy Fallon Show. it was the band's first performance in 12 years. i don't even wanna guess how many girls in high school got a mix tape from me with this fucking song on it.

You Hath Been Motivate-afied.

Bowl-O-Rama 2009/2010

predictions

1: Fresno State vs Wyoming- Fresno St
2:Central florida vs Rutgers- Rutgers
3: Southern Miss vs Middle Tennessee State- Southern Miss
4: Oregon State vs BYU- Oregon State
5: Utah vs California- Utah
6: Nevada vs SMU- Nevada
7: Marshall vs Ohio- Ohio
8: Pittsburgh vs North Carolina- Pitt
9: Boston College vs Southern California- USC
10: Kentucky vs Clemson- Clemson
11: Texas A&M vs Georgia- UGA
12: Miami vs Wisconsin- Miami
13: Bowling Green vs Idaho- Idaho
14: Arizona vs Nebraska- Nebraska
15: Houston vs Air Force- Houston
16: Oklahoma vs Stanford- Oklahoma
17:Navy vs Missouri- Mizzou
18: Minnesota vs Iowa State- Minnesota
19: Virginia Tech vs Tennessee- Va Tech
20: Northwestern vs Auburn- Auburn
21: West Virginia vs Florida State- West Virginia
22: Penn State vs LSU- LSU
23: Ohio State vs Oregon- Oregon
24: Florida vs Cincinnati- Florida
25: South Florida vs Northern Illinois- South Florida
26: South Carolina vs Connecticut- SCar
27: Oklahoma State vs Ole Miss- OK State
28: Arkansas vs East Carolina- Arkansas
29: Michigan State vs Texas Tech- Texas Tech
30: Boise State vs TCU- TCU
31: Iowa vs Georgia Tech- Ga Tech
32: Central Michigan vs Troy- Central Michigan
33: Texas vs Alabama- Alabama

other than the Title game, i rank the top 10 best bowl matchups

1. Florida vs. Cinci (Tebow's last call)
2. Oregon vs. OSU (can the Buckeyes actually win a bowl game?)
3. Boise vs. TCU (the pride of the non-BCS)
4. Penn State vs. LSU
5. Auburn vs. Northwestern (scoring orgy)
6. Va Tech vs. Tennessee
7. Oklahoma vs. Stanford
8. West Virginia vs. FSU (bye bye Bowden)
9. Ok State vs. Ole' Miss
10. Ga Tech vs. Iowa

Your Heisman Trophy Is Made Of Bullshit

CJ Spiller, you hath been screwed by Heisman voters in favor of prestige QBs who don't deserve the invite. Tebow and McCoy have had great careers but neither of them deserves to be in New York ahead of CJ Spiller. i blame lazy Yankee sportwriters as always.

Tebow hating = lame

Glad to see everyone I know thought it was so fucking funny watching Tebow cry after the Gators got crushed yesterday.

Man I just hate kids who fucking care that much about anything and who dedicate themselves to being a good person. I'd hate to have someone like that on my team.

Guess he'll have to dry those tears with all his trophies and records and championships. But what do I expect from Georgia fans.

The irony of a shit-talking haterade drinking asshole like myself defending a kid like Tebow who has been rammed down our throats as some sort of example of the penacle of mankind when he's just really a fullback who can sorta chunk the ball forward isn't lost on me.

The Chiz Grounded Rollison

Way To Go, Tyrik. whatever the fuck you did. (gettin' in fights, bad grades, smokin' weed, gun running, whatever). i'm gonna go out on a limb and assume it's grades based on his grammatical prose via the ole' facebook. but for reals, this is why redshirting kids is bad, they get bored and into trouble. let's all hope this isn't then end for our QB savior to be...cuz if it is then we will be plenty fucked in 2011, if not 2010.

and coach, quit kicking everyone off the team, damnit. i respect your whole discipline thing blah blah blah, but QBs are supposed to get away with whatever they want. don't you think Les Miles wishes he still had Ryan Perrilloux?

A Lifetime Of Defeats All-SEC Team

Offense

QB- Ryan Mallet, Arkansas
RB- Mark Ingram, Alabama
RB- Montario Hardesty, Tennessee
WR- Darvin Adams, Auburn
WR- AJ Green, Georgia
APB- Dexter McCluster, Ole Miss
TE- Aaron Hernandez, Florida
OT- Ciron Black, LSU
OT- Chris Scott, Tennessee
OG- Michael Johnson, Alabama
OG- Mike Pouncey, Florida
C- Ryan Pugh, Auburn
Wild Cat- Randall Cobb, Kentucky

Defense

DE- Antonio Coleman, Auburn
DT- Dan Williams, Tennessee
DT- Terrence Cody, Alabama
DE- Carlos Dunlap, Florida
LB- Rolando McClain, Alabama
LB- Josh Bynes, Auburn
LB- Brandon Spikes, Florida
LB- Eric Norwood, South Carolina
CB- Joe Haden, Florida
CB- Javier Arenas, Alabama
S- Eric Berry, Tennessee
S- Mark Barron, Alabama

K- Wes Byrum, Auburn
P- Drew Butler, Georgia
KR- Brandon James, Florida
PR- Javier Arenas, Alabama

MVP- Ryan Mallett, Arkansas
Defensive Player Of the Year- Mark Barron, Alabama
Freshman- Trent Richardson, Alabama

He's Coming

this Sunday, Mike Vick returns to the Dome. granted he's just the 3rd string QB for the Eagles and will probably be on the field 5 or 6 plays...at the most, and yet i am fucking dreading every second of this. i'm smart enough to know that shit could get really mean and really nasty in the Dome (and especially outside where supporters and protesters will surely have a few words with one another)....so i call for the fans of the Falcons, those who are against and those who support Mike Vick, to use some common sense on Sunday afternoon. let's all be as civil about this thing as possible. let's try to be as mature and calm as we can. let's not let a potentially ugly situation turn into something more than an ex-player who some people love and some people hate that some will cheer and some will boo. please. do it for the kids. be adults.

but if Mike Vick should take the field and be snapped in half by an on coming rusher...well that wouldn't be so bad either.

Let's Go Outback Tonight

Auburn to the Outback bowl!?! the next time i see Kevin Barnes in Athens i might just highfive him and scream War Eagle! into his face.

people (and by this i mean other angry SEC fans) will bitch about Auburn getting this bid, but it makes sense to me. A rabid fanbase desperate for a relevant bowl game and a logjam of 7-5 mediocrity in the SEC...i'd say Auburn fans should pack out that silly stadium with a pirate ship down in Tampa. Also having the 3rd best offense in the league probably didn't hurt either. Auburn is a lot more entertaining to watch than the Vols, Cocks, Dawgs, or Cats.

suck it Tennessee, South Carolina, Georgia, Kentucky, Arkansas.

Likely opponent in the Outback: Wisconsin (boring) or possibly Northwestern (could be a shoot out with them)

So yeah, a better bowl than we probably deserve and than any of us thought we'd get. But still a New Year's matchup in Orlando to show off the Spread Eagle 2 vs a Big 10 opponent.

Get Your Nerd Nostalgia On, Plus Help Some Poor Kids

Starting this week and running through the next 3, the WSLA will be showing the original Star Wars trilogy every Friday (and one Saturday) at Midnight for FREE. they are also gonna be collecting unwrapped toys for needy Athens kids. so come out and watch the greatest trilogy of all time before George Lucas fucked it all up with a bunch of digital garbage in the background.

Lies the NFL told me: your fancy college offense don't work in my NFL

NFL Fact: the spread offense doesn't work in the National Football League.

Oh really? Well I am currently watching an NFL matchup between the Saints and Patriots and BOTH of these teams run a fucking spread offense. These offenses have way more in common with what Auburn does than with some boring old Power I or West Coast philosophy. The idea that any player or offense or style "can't work" is the sort of bullshit uncreative thinking that makes college football fans roll their eyes into the backs of their skulls and go into a coma when they listen to NFL "experts" spout their garbage.

Fuck going to Notre Dame, Urban Meyer should go to the NFL.

FUCK YOU TURF TOE!!!

Turf Toe!!! say it ain't so.

you know what that means:

Matt Ryan is probably done for the rest of the year.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, why do you hate my Atlanta Falcons so much? is it all the booty music?

goddamncockfacedmotherfuckingpieceofshit!

a random question for NIKE

yo Nike, how did we got from this level of rad

to this fucking bullshit?

A Final Salute To The One Armed Zombie

CHRIS TODD, MOTHERFUCKER!!!! Auburn's ALL TIME Single Season TD Passing Leader. wrap your brain around that little nugget. and here we all thought that the fucker's arm had fallen off for good last year. good job, Todd, my boy. i enjoyed the shit sandwich you fed me this year.

you were the 3rd rated passer in the SEC this year, 4th in TDs, 6th in yards, completed nearly 60% of your passes for an avg. of 8 per pass (3rd in SEC), you only threw 6 INTS (tied for 3rd among regular starters), and you led the 3rd ranked offense in the league. i know Mallett and Tebow are gonna be the 1st and 2nd team QBs but if Todd isn't 3rd team All-SEC this year then it's some bullshit.

do i think Todd has an NFL Future? eh, probably not. but he was a lot better a college QB than i would have ever imagined. i wish this was the guy he would've been last year. but whatever, everything happens for a reason....or some shit.



One Armed Zombie We Salute You! let's hope you can lead us out with a bowl win and you toss a couple more TDs to Darvin Adams for your swan song.

Josh McDaniels, i feel your pain

found this piece of amazing via KSK. i have uttered this very phrase many, many, many times.

i have watched that at least 12 times.

hey remember when the Broncos were 6-0? me neither.

VINCE FUCKING YOUNG!!!!

(what i imagine is going on inside the mind of one Vince "I Am Still Awesome At Football" Young)

Dear Merle Hodge,

suck my motherfucking dick you braindamged old shitty analysing retard.

love,

VY

p.s.

Trent Dilfer can lick my balls. fuck you, douchebags.

REDMAN!!!!!!

when you aren't making awesome movies with Method Man you are winning football games for my Dirty Birds!

a billion sips of purple drank for you sir.

Your ACC Champions!

Dear, ACC.

your conference is a fucking joke.

love,

a couple of middle of the pack SEC teams.

Polls? Who Gives A Fuck Up Your Stupid Polls?

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25, week 13

1. Florida
2. Alabama
3. Texas
4. Cincinnati
5. TCU
6. Boise State
7. Oregon
8. Ohio State
9. Iowa
10. LSU
11. Penn State
12. Oregon State
13. Georgia Tech
14. BYU
15. Virginia Tech
16. Miami
17. Houston
18. Nebraska
19. Pittsburg
20. Oklahoma State
21. West Fucking Virginia
22. California
23. Central Michigan
24. Clemson
25. Georgia, Auburn, Kentucky, South Carolina, Tennessee, Ole Miss, Arkansas (seriously after watching Georgia and South Carolina knock off both ACC division champs don't you think every team in the SEC could win the ACC?)

Good Riddance

college football is about to be down one less douchebag after the Irish wrapped up another disappointing season under Charlie Weis. Notre Dame finishes up the season 6-6 after Stanford gave em a nice little "fuck you" send off. for a team that basically gift wrapped it's own season with as many home games as possible and was in their 5th year under Charlie's "superior NFL system" with countless numbers of 4 and 5 star "talent" a .500 record just ain't gonna cut it.

there have been few college coaches that i've ever hated as much as Weis and that isn't even because he coaches at Notre Dame. the guy has been one giant fucking pile of douche from the moment he stepped on to the scene. that Notre Dame even gave him that giant ass extension because he ALMOST beat USC is one of the dumbest things ever. the dude NEVER WON ANYTHING!!! they had zero big time wins in his tenure. probably the best team they ever beat was Michigan State. it's a miracle they were able to beat Boston College this season. he fucking sucks, he can't coach, his teams can't beat anyone worth a shit, and his recruits are all highly overrated just because they are going to Notre Dame.

a list of suggestions i have for the Irish for their next head coach.

1. Nick Saban
2. Nick Saban
3. Nick Saban
4. Nick Saban
5. Urban Meyer
6. Bobby Petrino
7. Les Miles
8. Nick Saban
9. Lane Kiffin (just to have a possibly bigger douchebag in South Bend)
10. Lou Holtz

BCS BOWL matchups, best guesses.

BCS Title

Florida vs. Texas

Sugar Bowl

Alabama vs. TCU

Fiesta Bowl

Penn State vs. Boise State

Orange Bowl

Cincinnati vs. Georgia Tech

Rose Bowl

Oregon vs. Ohio State

that's a lot of matchups i could care less about other than Texas and Florida.

matchups i'd rather see with the exact same teams.

Alabama vs. Penn State for obvious reasons.

Oregon vs. Georgia Tech for the scoring orgy.

Cincinnati vs. Ohio State for the chance to see Cinci destroy the Buckeyes and claim the title as best team in Ohio.

TCU vs. Boise State in the rematch of last year's bowl game and for the pride of the Little Conference teams. also the winning team's conference gets an automatic BCS bowl bid. that would be fun.

I Think After Yesterday This Still Holds Up

never ever be on the cover of SI. ever.

My Achy Breaky Heart has been broken.

i blame you Billy Ray, for reasons that only the two of us know about.

well that sucked. not in a 36-0 asskicking kinda way, but in a "hey we might really win this shit....oh wait nevermind, you suck!" kinda way, and honestly those are worse sometimes.

The One Armed Zombie did what he could to lead our Tigers to the promised land (not to mention doing a few things to make sure we didn't). and even on the final drive i still believed. but then of course hella shitty clock management pretty much killed that snowball's chance and we are left with a pit of despair at losing to our 3 biggest rivals for a second year in a row.

but i am happy that this Auburn team showed some pride. they refused to let Mark Ingram have his Heisman moment. they refused to be pushed around and dominated like last year. they held Bama outta the endzone on two short fields. they got after the QB. and if they just coulda kept Julio Jones in check a little more they might have just won the game. and so it goes.

going forward i see good things for Auburn. i believe in Gene Chizik. i believe his players want to win for him. i believe in the new staff and their ability to coach up an under talented team. if Auburn can hold on to their offensive guru for a few more seasons then we might actually see another Heisman winner on the Plains. next year we lose Todd, Tate, Trott, Coleman, and McFadden. hopefully Burns, Fannin, Thorpe, and Bynes can all step up and be the leaders they all were this year. hopefully next year Auburn can win a couple of these big rivalry games and start getting some payback in the SEC. i don't think it can happen...i believe it WILL happen.

also a random congrats to the One Armed Zombie for becoming Auburn's all time single season TD leader.

2009 isn't officially over. we've still got our bowl, but honestly nothing matters going forward. 8 wins and a bowl victory would be nice...especially for these seniors who've gone through so much the last 2 years. but right now all that matters is the future. a future that doesn't seem nearly as bleak as it did in 2008.

so War Damn Eagle everyone. and thank you Auburn 2009 for restoring some faith for this lifelong Auburn fan. you might have not been the best team of this decade, but you are easily one of my favorites.

Like A Motherfuckin' Gunslinger

i think those Auburn fans who fear Alabama getting the one thing they've never had and the Tebow haters of college football all got their wish last night as Colt McCoy put on the show of the year for Heisman voters. 304 yards in the air and another 175 on the ground and 5 touchdowns pretty much nails down Colt bringing home the worlds most useless paper weight. there is no way a likeable 4 year starter whose been on the Heisman voters minds for 2 years isn't taking it home after a performance like that, last night on his team's final regular season game to keep their national title hopes alive. as long as the Longhorns win that Big 12 title game then you can guarantee that Colt McCoy is your Heisman winner.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody

Suicide Watch (2010), Iron Bowl

take that national title shot and shove it down their fucking throats!

War Eagle, Motherfucker.

What's an Iron Bowl?

i think the nosedive the Falcons are taking plus Auburn losing to Georgia has made me lose all interest in football.

It's Almost Over Now

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25, Week 12

1. Alabama
1. Florida
3. Texas
4. Cincinnati
5. TCU
6. Georgia Tech
7. Boise State
8. Pitt
9. Oregon
10. Ohio State
11. Oklahoma State
12. Iowa
13. Penn State
14. Clemson
15. Virginia Tech
16. Ole Miss
17. LSU
18. Oregon State
19. Utah
20. BYU
21. North Carolina
22. Miami
23. California
24. Houston
25. Temple!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Year I Am Thankful For....Kitten Mittons

Iron Bowl Week

Georgia Lost to Kentucky?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!......oh wait, WE lost to Kentucky too.

fucking Kentucky. stick to basketball you assholes.

Some Random Awesome for your Friday

NIQUE!!!!

Pour a 40 out for Uga

R.I.P. Uga VII


though your reign on top was shorter than a leprechaun's, we still give a salute to the greatest mascot of them all...Uga. may you get many belly rubs and more peanut butter treats than you could ever need in that great dog park in the sky. peace out little fella.

there's talk that they might even bury him at the half time of the Georgia game. jesus, can you think of anything more depressing for a halftime show?