least shocking thing ever...Gene Chizik just got fired.

It was over for Gene the second Cam Newton declared for the draft. it seems completely insane to think that just 2 seasons after winning the title that Auburn would be looking for a new head coach but after witnessing the state of the program during huge blowouts against Texas A&M, Georgia, and Alabama there really was no other choice. Another year under Chizik would be digging Auburn deeper into a hole that they might not ever get out of.

so he is gone. it is all over. will the NCAA come in and bury the Tigers with a mountain of sanctions? the screaming maniacs of the college football message boards and comment sections sure think/hope so.

and now the coaching search begins. James Franklin, Gus Malzahn, Jimbo Fisher, Bobby Petrino, Gary Patterson, Charlie Strong....those are some of the names we are gonna hear as this search goes on. my money is on Franklin. he just won 8 games at Vanderbilt. think about that. wrap your fucking mind around Vandy having a winning record in the SEC. that seems like the kind of miracle worker this young Tigers team needs. Malzahn is going to be on a lot of fans wish list. with Gus as the headman in charge and without a clueless defensive minded coach looking over his shoulder the Tigers might be able to morph back into the Oregon of the South like they were in 2010. the defense is obviously gonna suffer but it isn't like Auburn has been stopping anyone the past 4 years. Fisher and Petrino are the two biggest names and each offers something to make the Tigers excited. Petrino could give Auburn an instant turn around and have the Tigers competing for the SEC title in 2 seasons....but he's also a scumbag asshole that everyone fucking hates. Fisher is a great recruiter who could get top 5 or 10 classes in every year...but recruiting rankings has never been the problem under Chizik. it's what happens to those 4 and 5 stars when they make it to the Plains. Fisher has always been a bit iffy as the man in charge as FSU has underachieved every season he has been there as a coordinator and headcoach. Patterson and Strong are both great defensive coaches that do absolutely nothing for me in realms of excitement and optimism. knowing Auburn it's going to be NONE of those names. and so it goes.

Auburn has a search committee made up of Bo Jackson, Pat Sullivan, and Mac Crawford who will be helping to find the next man to coach the Auburn Tigers. hopefully Bo Knows coaching searches.

so long Gene Chizik. thanks for the BCS title. thanks for Cam Newton. no thanks for all the rest of the tire fire you left behind. hopefully Jay Jacobs will be joining you in the unemployment line soon enough. one can dream.

on a positive note....let's all watch this once more and really say thank you to Gene Chizik. say whatever you want about him being a terrible coach, but he gave us this and we will always be thankful. War Eagle Forever.

Win or GTFO

that was a LOOOOOOOONG time ago, bro.

so not really much to say about the Tigers and Ole' Miss this weekend. Auburn is a road underdog, as they should be. i doubt very many people have any faith Auburn can win. it would take a completely dominate defensive performance and some good luck on special teams to even give the Tigers a chance. but let's be totally real. Auburn is gonna lose. hell they might get blown out. by Ole' Miss. that is a very fucking real possibility. and assuming that happens, then what? rumors are all over the internet that the players have given up on the season (not that i needed internet rumors...i have been watching the games). claims are being made that the players don't believe in Chizik and are telling recruits not to come to Auburn. how much of that is true? ehhh, who knows? who cares? also can we fire Chizik's wife?

a question for the Auburn faithful: At this point with the season completely lost and just getting to a mediocre bowl game is the best this team can do, are you rooting for Auburn to keep losing and hoping it forces Jay Jacobs' hand and he fires Chizik? can you really root for Auburn to lose?

fuck it. just bury me up to my neck and cut off my ears and cover me in ants. it would be less painful than watching Auburn play football right now.

Texas Tech = Fucking Stupid

George O'Leary killed a fucking kid and he's still coaching Central Florida. Mike Leach sticks a rich kid in a shed for a couple of hours and gets fired?! Are you kidding me?

Welcome back to the world of irrelevance, Texas Tech.

On the bright side, its another team for Tuberville to attempt to get hired by.

Good Riddance

college football is about to be down one less douchebag after the Irish wrapped up another disappointing season under Charlie Weis. Notre Dame finishes up the season 6-6 after Stanford gave em a nice little "fuck you" send off. for a team that basically gift wrapped it's own season with as many home games as possible and was in their 5th year under Charlie's "superior NFL system" with countless numbers of 4 and 5 star "talent" a .500 record just ain't gonna cut it.

there have been few college coaches that i've ever hated as much as Weis and that isn't even because he coaches at Notre Dame. the guy has been one giant fucking pile of douche from the moment he stepped on to the scene. that Notre Dame even gave him that giant ass extension because he ALMOST beat USC is one of the dumbest things ever. the dude NEVER WON ANYTHING!!! they had zero big time wins in his tenure. probably the best team they ever beat was Michigan State. it's a miracle they were able to beat Boston College this season. he fucking sucks, he can't coach, his teams can't beat anyone worth a shit, and his recruits are all highly overrated just because they are going to Notre Dame.

a list of suggestions i have for the Irish for their next head coach.

1. Nick Saban
2. Nick Saban
3. Nick Saban
4. Nick Saban
5. Urban Meyer
6. Bobby Petrino
7. Les Miles
8. Nick Saban
9. Lane Kiffin (just to have a possibly bigger douchebag in South Bend)
10. Lou Holtz

Zen and the art of shitty coaching

No, I don't know why I'm watching this Colorado @ Toledo game. 30 to fucking 3! Are you serious?

Dan Hawkins is sooooooooooooooooooo fucking fired.

It's an all out race between he & Al Groh to see who goes 1st.

Terror Is Raining From The Sky!!!

hey it's been just one week but us knee-jerk types are already guessing which headcoach will be the 1st one to be fired this season. after last year's chopping block (which included Auburn's own coach) we can pretty much rule out anybody in the SEC other than some assistants. the Ole Ball Coach might call it quits, but there's no way he'd get fired.

MY TOP 10 COACHES MOST LIKELY TO BE FIRED.

1. Al Ghroh, Virginia
2. Dan Hawkins, Colorado
3. Mike Sherman, Texas A&M
4. Paul Wulff, Washington State
5. Charlie Weis, Notre Dame
6. Ron Zook, Illinois
7. Steve Kragthorpe, Louisville
8. George O'Leary, Central Florida
9. Mike Price, UTEP
10. Randy Shannon, Miami (although that win vs. FSU might have saved his job.)

Douche Alert

via the Auburner. Franklin Speaks, not that anyone cares anymore. Auburn is a place where distrust and paranoia reign supreme and blah blah blah...who fucking cares what this dude says? That's some old shit, I'm over it.

i have a song for you Mr. Franklin.


I really overuse the word douchebag. I think it's time I got a new insult.
Cockgoblin
Jerkoff
Gaywad
Fuckface

Ehhh, I still like douchebag best.

Time To Fire Bobby Cox?

the man is an ICON of Atlanta sports. he helped turn what was once the laughing stock of the National League into THE TEAM of the 90s (other than the fucking Yankees!)...but over the past couple of seasons, and this one in particular, i just don't think Bobby is the man for the job anymore. i'd really hoped he was gonna retire after last season, but i think because of the Braves playing so poorly he wanted to come back again this year and turn it around. going into this year Atlanta looked to have it's strongest team in years. the pitching staff was rebuilt, the bullpen appeared to be solid, and the line up (although not scary at all) was somewhat respectable with Kelly Johnson, Chipper Jones, and Brian McCann. but here we are, a month into the season, and the Atlanta Braves find themselves hovering around .500 and not looking like a playoff contender at all.

the starting pitching has been solid but the fucking bullpen has had trouble keeping games close and the lineup that Bobby trots out there every night can't produce runs. some of this has been bad luck, McCann's eye issues are something noone can control and because of his absence Chipper has become a non-factor because noone will pitch to him. Garrett Anderson has so far been a total bust, leaving left field the same useless hole that it's been for the past 5 seasons.

but even with the injuries and lack of production from players, it's the Braves lineup that has most fans confused and frustrated. WHY in the Hell does Bobby have Kelly Johnson batting leadoff when he's been the Braves best power threat this season? Why is Casey Kotchman hitting cleanup when the guy has NO POWER WHATSOEVER? all he's doing is eliminating the threat of Chipper. why is Jordan Shafer STILL batting 8th? why aren't the Braves trying to play small ball and manufacture some runs? why have they only stolen 4 FUCKING BASES ALL SEASON? dude, Ron Gant and Fred McGriff aren't walking through that door. Make some changes goddamnit! what you are putting out there every night isn't producing results. a Little League coach could put together a better lineup than Bobby. something needs to happen quick or this season will be over by the end of May.

I love and respect Bobby Cox to death but i'm getting the feeling that he just has no idea what he is doing anymore OR even worse he's so fucking set in his ways that he refuses to make adjustments. the 90s are fucking over, the Braves are just another team now...stop protecting sacred cows. it's time to let Bobby Cox go and see what someone else can do.

looks like my weekend is starting off ok

Tampa Bay just fired John Gruden.

Hahahahahahahahahaha! As both a Falcons and Raiders fan this warms my heart.

Hey look Keyshawn is on ESPN talking shit.

I'm gettin' drunk 2 nite to celebrate.

Thank You Coach, For Everything...

wow. it really happened. i'm still in shock. i was talking on the phone with a friend about how awesome an 8 Team playoff for college football would actually be this season when the story scrawled across the bottom of the screen on ESPN. my jaw nearly fell off. from the point where Tubs fired Tony Franklin it seemed like his time was almost up, but i never actually believed he would be fired this year. the guy beat BAMA 6 times in a row...that at least buys you 1 do-over doesn't it? apparently it does not. i don't wanna ever hear any Auburn fan make fun of Alabama for having unrealistic expectations. we just fired a head coach who went 85-40 over 10 years, won an SEC title just 4 years ago, and made Auburn a consistent top 25 team during his tenure. it's amazing how 1 (REALLY FUCKING) bad season can just wash that all away.

but if i was being honest with you, i'll admit i've got some pretty mixed emotions about the whole thing. i mean, i will always appreciate what Tuberville did for Auburn. he got the program back on track after the Bowden debacle. he dominated Alabama for a decade. he produced some great Auburn players that went on to be stars in the NFL. he won an SEC championship and gave us a perfect season. he made Auburn one of the top football schools in the nation for the better part of this decade...

Ivan Maisel sums up the stupidity of Auburn's choice, for what it's worth. i can't say that i totally disagree with him. that being said, it's been 4 years since Auburn won the SEC title and the team has looked worse and worse every year since then. regardless of who Auburn's coach was gonna be next season, we were starting all over again. maybe another guy is better suited for that.

but then there is also the part of me that has never truly believed in Tuberville. not that i thought he wasn't a good coach, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to think that, but i always felt like he was just waiting around for a better gig to come his way. i always thought Tuberville would leave Auburn before the decade was done, but i'd always assumed it was because he was taking the Miami job once they get rid of Randy Shannon. but fired? i never imagined he'd actually get fired. Auburn isn't that fucking stupid....oh wait, nevermind...we totally are. i don't know, CHANGE is a big buzzword in America right now. or maybe change is exactly what Auburn needs. maybe we'll all be saying, "We've made a terrible mistake" in two years when Auburn has turned itself into the Nebraska of the SEC.

anyways, see you later Tubs. i hope that you take a year to hunt ducks and to work for ESPN and give us some wisecracks and good analysis and then jump back into coaching (somewhere not in the SEC would be great). good luck and thank you for everything.

So, Do We Still Have A Coach Or What?

is he in or out? make a decision and let's move on. this is getting annoying.

Fulmer...how did it end this way?

it seems like this day has been coming forever...

Fulmer fired...or forced out...or what-the-fuck-evered, he's gone at the end of the season is all it really matters. dude was a lifer and now he's gonna be sitting at home and not dealing with his ungrateful fanbase next season. guy won a national title 10 years ago and now he's done. the SEC is fucking crazy...let this be a message to any young coach out there who wants to come join this shitstorm. this is also all the more reason for Auburn to NOT FIRE Tommy Tuberville. Tennessee has got more money and more prestige and they are THE state school. The Vols will attract far better candidates than the Tigers can. Tommy gets one more year if the board of trustees know what's best for the University's football team. if Tommy can't get this thing turned around next season, well then maybe we bring in some new blood. but right now we're just asking for the leftovers.

I'm Not Saying He Should Get Fired...I'm Just Saying

10 years is a long time. 10 years ago i was too young to drink, i had a girlfriend who was still in highschool, i was really fucking into the hardcore punk scene, and Auburn football was a flaming pile of shit. i was mostly busy pretending like Auburn didn't exist that year to avoid the reality of a 3-8 season and our coach skipped down (aka was run out of town) in the middle of the season. it was a bad time to be an Auburn fan.

but then along came Tommy Tuberville and things began to turn back around. there was an SEC West title in 2000, and the amazing 2004 season, and then of course 6 straight wins over Alabama. but there's also a lot of disappointment in there too. 2001, 2003, and the let downs of 2006 and 2007...and now the most chaotic season since 1998 is rearing it's head.

i've been avoiding the issue but i feel like it's time to face the reality. this season has been a total disaster and it's pretty much all Tuberville's fault. Bama is back and in a big fucking way and from the looks of things we aren't going bowling this year. recruiting is likely to take a hit thanks to the firing of Tony Franklin and Auburn fans are pissed. people are calling for Tuberville's head but i don't think those poeple are really thinking about what could happen if we ditch our coach after one bad year. does the word Nebraska mean anything to you? i for one am not ready to send Tubs packing after a bad judgement call on the offensive direction. 6 wins over Bama earns you a do over. but FIRE TUBERVILLE is all i hear and see on the message boards. you fucking people are crazy.

that being said, if Butch Davis would like to come coach Auburn and use his recruiting magic to match Saban's then by all means fire Tuberville and make that man the coach. any coaching move other than that will be program suicide. so unless it's Davis, then we gotta stick with Tuberville. if this shit happens again next year...see you later dude and thanks for 2004.

Tommy Bowden is fired....finally

hey, that only took about 5 years longer than it should have. Clemson's QB, Cullen Harper said "he got what he deserved." ouch.