TV PARTY: Week 1

The Thursday Night Double Dip

South Carolina @ NC State on ESPN 7pm

this was one of the ugliest games week 1 last year and i was pretty sure, at the time, that NC State's freshman QB got killed during the game. he didn't and actually ended up being 1st team all ACC...which should tell you that the ACC QB situation is even worse than the SEC's. everyone is predicting that this is the Ole' Ball Coach's final season in Columbia and a loss to start the year against a middle tier ACC team probably will help get that ball rolling.

Oregon @ Boise State on ESPN 10:15pm

after you've been lulled to sleep by NC State vs. South Carolina you are gonna have to do some lines and down a couple of Redbulls to get yourself pumped up for one of the best matchups of Week 1. it's unlikely that you will need the cocaine of redbull though because Boise and Oregon will shock your brain into gear with their collection of Neon-Eye-Rape uniforms.

or

who is uglier? i can't even tell anymore.

this is a clash of two top 20 teams with BCS bowl game goals on their mind. last year Boise knocked off Oregon who were down to like their 12th QB of the season. this year the Ducks' starter is healthy (keep him in a bubble until game time guys). if Oregon really is set to knock USC off their perch then beating a solid non-BCS school on their hold turf is a great way to start. unfortunately weird things happen when you travel to the land of smurfs. i like Boise to knock the Ducks off on their way to running the table...again.

if you watch the Tulane and Tulsa game on Friday night and you didn't go to either of those schools then you are 1 of 3 things: a compulsive gambler, someone with mono, or a loser who can't get a date on Friday night.

Good Morning Sunshine, Did You Miss Me? Game
various Noon games on various channels.

now that ESPN owns the SEC i don't get to shake my hangover off with the pleasurable early morning SEC low-budget broadcast anymore and so i must take what the WWL gives me...and that looks to be a choice of either Navy vs Ohio State or Minnesota at Syracuse. FUCK THAT. hopefully CSS has some better option for me or possibly the ACC noon game will be of some quality. regardless i may actually go do something like run an errand or go get beer while i avoid to suckiness of the Big 10.

THE HOLY SHIT REAL FOOTBALL IS BACK GAME

UGA @ Oklahoma State on ABC 3:30 pm

it's def gonna feel weird for the first game of the season to be elsewhere. Athens should be a ghost town, so i'll have my pick of bars to watch this showdown with Okie State. i fully expect the Dawgs to feed the Cowboys a healthy dose of reality and bury them in their brand new T. Boone purchased stadium. if not, at least i can have fun watching the Georgia fans sulk at the bar afterwards.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ESPNU?????

La Tech @ Auburn on ESPNU 7 pm

this will be the time of the day when i try and sober up enough to drive around and search for a bar that has ESPNU and will put the Auburn game on for the one Tigers fan in the Classic City. with luck, the Dawgs will be rolling and noone will give me any shit and i can find my own spot to enjoy SPREAD EAGLE 2: Electric Boogaloo's first outing vs. LA Tech. if things don't go well i may be too sad to endure anything past this game.

ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR ALABAMA RECRUITING COMMERCIAL???

Alabama vs. Virginia Tech in the Georgia Dome on ABC @ 8pm

the Tide in the Dome vs a Virginia Tech team minus their star runningback. this could be another ugly ACC ass-whiping that gets Alabama rolling towards another SEC title game or the Hokies could pull the shocker and take advantage of Alabama's new QB and young offensive line....but that'd probably be too much to ask for. no, i expect this will be a Bama style beatdown. hopefully Auburn looks impressive enough vs. La Tech that i won't be too wrapped up in this game.

Do Your Kidney's Still Work? Well Let's Put An End To That!

LSU @ Washington on ESPN 10:30pm

after a long day of football curl up on the couch and watch LSU commit ritualistic murder against the poor Huskies in the Pacific Northwest.