yep, i totally suck at basketball (just as i thought)

so it's finally getting warm outside. t-shirt weather even. and with the improving weather and the start of march madness i've got basketball on my mind. it's a rare month long time period where i actually give a shit about hoops. so i decided to head out to the basketball court next to my house and try out my old jumper. hell i bought a fucking headband, might as well use the fucking thing....unfortunately for me and my headband, my skills on the basketball court aren't what they were when i was 16. firstly i am an out of shape mess who hasn't really engaged in much physical activity since my band broke up...so i could only really run around getting my own rebound from all my bricked shots for about an hour and secondly i can't shoot a free throw to save my life. i took 50 shots from the line and only hit 12 of them. so if you are ever interested in playing pickup basketball with me, just foul the shit out of me and send me to the line cuz i am as reliable as Shaq. my only real enjoyment from the exercise was that i was surprisingly accurate from the three point line...nailing 4 in a row at one point and sinking about 20 in all. it was sort of ridiculous that i was far more accurate from behind the arch than i was from the charity stripe. whatever, i'll take it. my dreams of being john paxon still live. regardless it was kind fun sucking it up on the court while the 10 year old kid standing outside the fence laughed at me while i airballed a free throw. i'm planning on attempting to play some hoops again, next time with actual humans other than myself in the never ending quest to fit in the jeans i used to wear 2 years ago.


this headband is official, and it's officially being wasted on my no ballin' ass.