Best and Worst NFL Throwback Uniforms

so you probably already know by now that it's the 50th anniversary of the old AFL and all the original teams are wearing throwback replicas of their original counterparts. some are awesome (Chargers, Bills, Raiders, Oilers) and others make me wish i were blind (Broncos). anyway it got me thinking about my favorite and least favorite throwback uniforms in all of the NFL and so i made a useless list of each.


The BEST (aka Do)

1. San Diego Chargers

nobody can touch the powder blue. why these aren't the Chargers everygame uniforms i will never understand. if you watch a Chargers game EVERYONE in the stands is wearing these. hell these aren't just the best throwbacks...they are the best NFL uniforms ever...period.

2. Buffalo Bills

as much as i love the Chargers, i'll admit that Buffalo is pretty damn close to being just as good. there's just something about THAT color blue and those white helmets and that red bison. it just looks fucking crisp and stylish and super retro. i don't know, they're just fucking rad. this is another team that should just switch back to their classic design cuz what they wear now sucks.

3. Detriot Lions

yes, they suck at all things playing football related, but damn those throwbacks are pretty sweet. i love the solid uniforms without many stripes and the no logo look. i've always thought Detriot had some of the best colors in the NFL and so just seeing the Silver and Blue stand alone without anything else just makes it pop for me. every thanksgiving when they rock these i always say, "well at least Detriot has better uniforms."

4. Tennessee Titans (Houston Oilers)

if you can't tell by now, i loves me some blue uniforms...especially powder/baby blue. those old Oilers unis are the powder-bluest. the Oilers are a team who i ALWAYS loved their look and when they unvailed the Titans design i just hung my head and wanted to cry. whatever, having sweet throwbacks won't make anyone forget how fucking bad they are this season.

5. New England Patriots

okay, i'll admit that the old school Pats unis are kinda wussy lookin' and mostly they just remind me of being a little kid and watching the Bears destroy them in the Super Bowl...but i HATE their current uniforms and would much rather see them go back to rockin' Patriot Pat instead.

bonus pick:

6. Atlanta Falcons

file this under: shameless homerism. but i FUCKING LOVE those Falcons original throwbacks. the black jersey with the red helmet and the gold and black stripe that gives a nod to Georgia Tech and UGA. when they busted these out for the first time this year i got really stoked and even thought about buying a jersey...and then i remembered that people who wear NFL jerseys are usually douchebags and so i didn't.

The WORST (aka Don't)

1. Philadelphia Eagles

Where Powder/Baby Blue goes horribly wrong...when it is combined with BRIGHT FUCKING YELLOW. worst uniforms in any sport...EVER. to be fair: these technically ARE NOT Eagles uniforms and are instead the Frankford Yellow Jackets. but the Eagles still thought it was a good idea to take the field in these and try to sell them to the public.

2. Denver Broncos

boring brown and yellow make them look like giant rotten bananas. and what the fuck is up with those fucking socks?! another reason why Cutler wanted out of town.

3. New York Jets (New York Titans)

like the previous two teams you can understand why they had a complete color scheme overhall. i don't even know what you call this other than boring.

4. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers

NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THE GAY PIRATE EVER AGAIN! worst NFL uniforms of my lifetime.

5. Pittsburg Steelers

it's funny how much just changing the color of the helmets and pants totally ruins what is one of the NFL's best uniforms ever. i don't know, yellow just sucks when it's on your head, dude. hate it, hate it, hate it.

I Want You to Be Something Awesome For Halloween, Auburn Students

so Auburn is calling for a "NAVY NIGHTMARE" vs Ole' Miss on Halloween night. which...is....GHEY!!!

what the fuck is a Navy Nightmare?

LAME LAME LAME LAME. let the college kids be a little more creative than that. it's fucking Halloween, dress up like some ghouls, goblins, slutty cheerleaders, the Warriors...you know, Awesome things.

5 costume suggestions for Auburn Students

1. Misfits

dress up like the Misfits...but use Navy and Orange facepaint instead of black and white and get wasted and sing "Where Eagles Dare" (which i'd make Auburn's intro music if they gave me that kind of power) all night long. I Ain't No Goddamn SonofaBitch...You Better think about it baby!!!

2. Baseball Furies

the creepy baseball clowns from the Warriors are always fun to be. again, use Auburn colors instead of black and white. this costume works best if you can get a group of about 10 or so people to dress the same. plus, bonus baseball bat to carry to the game.

3. Gordon Gekko

this one is for the business majors. what's more frightening in our current economic tire fire than going as a scrumbag Wall-Street trader?

4. Hugo Stiglitz

just cuz.

5. unstoppable zombie horde

just think how fucking awesome it would be if you could get the entire Auburn student section to dress like blood thirsty zombies and they just made weird moaning sounds and acted like they wanted to crawl down onto the field and eat Jeven Sneed's brains all night? yeah, this is the idea i like best. make this happen Auburn. everyone dress like Auburn zombies.

BUUUUUURRRRDSSS!!!

Dome = Defended.

thanks Falcons, i needed that.

SUPER BOWL OR BUST!!!!!

Jumping Off The Bandwagon

Auburn...your bandwagon is now 100% empty.

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25, Week 7

1 Bama
2 Florida
3 Texas
4 USC
5 Cincinnati
6 Miami
7 TCU
8 Iowa
9 Boise State
10 Georgia Tech
11 Oregon
12 LSU
13 BYU
14 Oklahoma State
15 Virginia Tech
16 Pitt
17 Houston
18 Penn State
19 South Carolina
20 Utah
21 Kansas
22 West Virginia
23 Texas Tech
24 Boston College
25 Central Michigan

I Am Made Of Sad

football sucks.

i need a Falcons win today....bad.

the JR Suicide's Auburn Football Makes Me Wish I Was Into Soccer Instead Playlist

1. the MASH THEME (Suicide Is Painless)
2. Black Flag- Depression
3. The Beatles- Yer Blues
4. Buzzcocks- Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't Have Fallen In Love With)
5. Justin Trouble- Stay Away Sadness
6. Another Sunny Day- You Should All Be Murdered
7. Crowded House- Don't Dream It's Over
8. Dream Syndicate- Tell Me When It's Over
9. The Wipers- Potential Suicide
10. Danzig- Tired Of Being Alive
11. The Jesus and Mary Chain- Everything's Alright When You're Down
12. The Who- So Sad About Us
13. Shocking Pinks- You Can Make Me Feel Bad
14. Beck- Lost Cause
15. Roy Orbison- Crying
16. The Walker Brothers- The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore

I BLAME THIS GUY

i wish we could fire him/make him quit (what the fuck ever) again.

fuck you, you one hit wonder, sorry-ass-recruiting, duck hunting, media darling, big eared, jerk. Auburn might as well be on probation with the talent you left behind. you are officially dead to me.

well that sucked

I'll spare you my normal assault of f-bombs and just say that I'm no longer emotionally invested in a team that will just completely give up on a game like that.

Auburn is a 6-6 team...maybe 7-5. Please be at least 7-5. Just beat Georgia. Other than that I'll be watchin' my Falcons.

Feel free to vent your own f-bombs or angry rants.

random cryassery from section 48, row 32, seat 12 of Jordan-Hare

My ass is freezing, so maybe that has something to do with my foul mood...either that or it could be having to watch whatever the fuck Auburn is calling an offense tonight vs. Kentucky. It's gonna be a long drive home if they don't get their shit together in the 2nd half.

Suicide Watch (2009), Week 7: Drowning Cats

did you know Kentucky has a hockey team? is this actually real? Hockey...In the SEC?! that makes about us much sense as there being more teams NHL teams in the Southeast and Texas than in Canada......oh wait.

so i'll be at the game this weekend watching Auburn try to make up for their shitastic performance vs. Arkansas. and what better team to take your frustrations out on than Kentucky? (well honestly i'd kinda like some Nerd-Vengence on Vandy...but that'll have to wait a few years). the Cats lost their starting QB for the year and will be shuffling a mix of signal callers out there all Saturday.

Auburn defense: your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to stop THIS MAN:

Randall Cobb is literally the only thing about Kentucky that frightens me. why they aren't just moving him back to QB (where he was far more lethal last season) is beyond me. dude pretty much almost singlehandedly beat Georgia last season and i could see him carving up this Auburn D with his legs if the coaches just let him take direct snaps all day.


chance of tragedy: 5, it's Kentucky...i give em' their due because they are an SEC team and they've pulled off upsets in recent years (Georgia & LSU), but playing without their starting QB and against Auburn's offense AT HOME coming off an embarrassing loss...i like the Tigers BIG.

you died by: beaten to death with a hammer by a guy wear a skull mask and bunny ears. shit happens.

TV PARTY, Week 7...gettin' luck vs. Kentucky

i'll be in Auburn this Saturday watchin' the Tigers put a beat down on the Cats. watch whatever the fuck you want.

5 things i think i know at the halfway point of Auburn's season.

despite the fact Auburn just got blowed out (as Emmitt Smith would say...oh how i miss thee and your unique take on the spoken word) i think most of us are feeling positive vibes at this point in the year...especially when we were full of FEAR, LOATHING, DREAD, ANGER, CONFUSION in the offseason. even after the great staff that the Chiz was able to put together i think noone would've pegged Auburn as a 5-1 team at the mid-season point. with wins over 3 bowl teams from last year (La Tech, Ball State...okay i know it's not the same Ball State team from last year, and West Virginia) and a hard earned road win against another SEC team trying to rebuild their program, and they even made up for the worst offensive performance i have ever seen by crushing Mississippi State. so all in all things are great...other than the fact Arkansas is still scoring points on us.

so what do we know about our team right now?

1. SCORING POINTS IZ AWESOME!!!!

who ever would've imagined an Auburn team that would've ranked so highly nationally in so many different offensive categories? it's a miracle. it's fucking SCIENCE!!! pay Gustav whatever the hell he wants. the Tigers need to hang on to him as long as they can. (seriously i have nightmares about him leaving Auburn for Texas.)

2. we have a QB....finally.

despite Chris Todd playing like shit against the Hawgs last weekend, he's been a wonderful surprise for Auburn. the one armed zombie who chucked wobbly no zip having quails into the opposing secondaries from last year has been replaced by an accurate, aware in the pocket, sniper who still has only thrown 1 interception all year vs. 12 touchdowns and has only been sacked 5 times in 6 games...most of those coming against Arkansas. granted his play vs the Razorbacks left a little something to be desired...but his effort in leading Auburn on a 2nd half comeback win vs. West Virginia cancels that out for me. you'd have to rank him right now as either the 3rd or 4th best QB in the league behind Ryan Mallett and Tim Tebow...with Greg McElroy also in the discussion. who would've ever thought we'd be saying that?

3. Ben Tate rulz!

he would be a Heisman candidate if he played for Florida, Alabama, LSU, etc... dude is leading the SEC in rushing (6th nationally!) and is on track to go for 1,400+ yards. he's played himself from a 5th or 6th round sleeper into a possible 2nd round draft pick. i think it's safe to say we will all miss him next year.

4. Darvin Adams and Terrell Zachery can catch. awesome.

5. our defense is made of suck....but not TOTAL EPIC SUCK. gettin' gashed by Arkansas is gonna sting for a while. giving up buckets of yards vs. West Virginia was a red flag. letting Tennessee get back into the game was enough to make me vomit. but they've also been able to come up with big plays when they had to. Daren Bates has been a wonderful little surprise and Walter McFadden is a badass. our linebackers on the other hand are mostly just a suggestion...with the exception of Jonathan Bynes who i think is the most underrated defender on the team. also Eltoro Freeman = Tray Blackmon...just sayin'. the thing most surprising to me is how little we've heard from the unit that still has a lot of talent...aka the defensive line. they haven't been the playmakers and sack artists that we've seen in the past and Antonio Coleman is unfortunately starting to look like a guy who probably shoulda gone pro last year because there's no way his stock isn't falling like a stone every week. that being said, i'd rather have this unit than whatever the fuck they've got going on here in Athens.

a quick little trivia fact: the SEC's leader in touchdowns as of now is Jonathan Fucking Crompton thanks to the Georgia Bulldogs and their awesome defense.

5. Tuberville leaving was a good thing.

the year 2004...blah fucking blah. at this point i'm giving all that credit to Al Borges. Tuberville is the reason the talent has dropped off nearly every year since the Tigers went undefeated. recruiting has been a whole lotta swings and misses over the past 5 seasons and that's the main issue our defense is in the current trouble it finds itself in. i will always appreciate what CTT did for Auburn in restoring it's place on the national scene and all the big wins he gave us, but i'd been secretly (and not so secretly to certain people) wishing that he would take another job and leave Auburn for a Miami or Texas A&M (pretty just anyone of equal or hire stature not in the SEC). maybe i'll regret saying this, but i don't miss Tubby one single bit. i just really really hope he never ends up coaching another SEC school again. cuz revenge is a sonofabitch!

Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks.

this weeks WSLA Free Movie is the Wes Anderson classic RUSHMORE.

as always movie starts at midnight and is being shown at CINE'...aka the only movie theater in town where you can drink beer.

A Lifetime Of Defeats Hearts Owen Schmitt

ever since we were young and impressionable, we've always found joy in those who will make themselves bleed for us. be they wrestlers, victims of slasher films, the wild bunch, iggy pop, gg alin, girls we didn't get pregnant...and so today we salute Mr. Schmitt for beating his fucking face with his helmet to celebrate his first career start and created this wonderful gash.

God speed you...you psycho freak of awesomeness.

Dear Auburn Defense,

You Suck.

what the fuck happened?

Love,

Justin

College Football Pick Em, Week 7

Wed Oct 14
1: Boise St @ Tulsa- Boise
Thursday Oct 15
2: Cincinnati @ South Florida- Cinci
Friday Oct. 16
3: Pittsburgh @ Rutgers- Pitt
Sat. Oct 17
4: Arkansas @ florida- UF
5:South Carolina @ Bama- BAMA
6:Oklahoma @ Texas- OK
7:Ohio State @ Purdue- OSU
8:Iowa @ Wisconsin- Wisc
9:Louisville @ connecticut- UCONN
10:Northwestern @ Michigan State- Mich St
11:wake forest @ Clemson- Clemson
12:UGA @ Vanderbilt- UGA
13:Mississippi State @ Middle Tennessee State University- Miss St
14:Army @ Temple- Army
15: UAB @ Ole Miss- Ole Miss
16:wyoming @ Air Force- Air Force
17:USC @ Notre Dame- USC
18:Minnesota @ Penn State- Penn St
19: Texas Tech @ Nebraska- Nebraska
20: california @ UCLA- CAL
21:NC State @ Boston College- BC
22: Colorado State @ TCU- TCU
23: Virginia @ Maryland- Maryland
24: Virginia Tech @ Georgia Tech- Va Tech
25:Stanford @ Arizona- Stanford
26:Kansas @ Colorado- Kansas
27: Miami @ UCF- Da U
28: Navy @ SMU- Navy
29:Kentucky @ Auburn- Auburn
30: Washington @ Az. State- Washington
31: Missouri @ Oklahoma State- Ok St
Tiebreakers (Total Points)
A: Texas vs Oklahoma- 90
B: USC @ Notre Dame- 56
C: Virginia Tech @ Georgia Tech- 69
D: South Carolina @ Alabama- 42

Well, That Was Fun While It Lasted

first some quick thoughts on the Arkansas game this weekend:


and now on to the polls...

so gettin' spanked on the road the week after you jump into the Top 20 generally isn't the best way to solidify your ranking and so it should be no surprise that Auburn fell out of both polls and has been replaced by Notre Dame, who beat.....wait for it....their bye week. Auburn still only fell to 26th and 27th, and so with a win vs Kentucky this weekend and the Irish about to get their annual ass kicking at the hands of USC, the Tigers should be right back in the top 25 by next week.

i still think Auburn is one of the top 25 teams in the nation, but then again i think we should blow up the moon as well. these evil voices in my head like to tell me all sorts of lies.

and now my useless poll


A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25, Week 6
1. BAMA
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. Virginia Tech
5. USC
6. Miami
7. Cincinnati
8. Boise State
9. TCU
10. Oregon
11. Ohio State
12. LSU
13. Iowa
14. Kansas
15. Oklahoma State
16. BYU
17. Georgia Tech
18. Nebraska
19. South Florida
20. South Carolina
21. Penn State
22. Auburn
23. Houston
24. Oklahoma
25. Pitt

a request to my fellow Auburn fans: don't be a dumbass

Well it's only halftime but you and I both know this bullshit is over. Well being ranked and talked about by the national media was nice and all but that's over now. Which is fine, I mean Auburn should be an 8 win team this year and they still could easily still do that. So as a rational (if somewhat schizophrenic and at times overly negative) Auburn fan I am gonna remain optimistic about this season until we lose to someone like Kentucky.

But knowing that there are Auburn fans out there on the internets full of stupid I am gonna predict the 10 most likely DUMB things you will read in the comments of blogs or message boards:

1. Fire Chizik.

2. Fire Malzhan.

3. Bench Todd. It's time to play the freshman.

4. 5-19 blah blah blah blah blah

5. Blah blah blah the spread can't work at Auburn, blah blah blah.

6. We need to get Tuberville back.

7. We can't beat a legit SEC team with a good QB (oh wait, I just said that to someone.)

8. These new coaches ain't gonna cut it. Auburn will be lookin' for a new coach in 2 years. Blah blah blah blah redneck bullshit blah blah blah.

9. (Random borderline racist comment)

10. Burn down the disco, hang the DJ.

it is way too early to watch Auburn play this bad

Fucking Arkansas.

I'll Always Love the 90s

Charles Barkley and Nirvana. pretty much sums up my teen years.

Fuck the Moon

we finally did it!

we blew up the moon!

Suicide Watch (2009) Week 6, Surviving The Razorback

every year i dread the game against Arkansas more and more. it doesn't seem to matter what the Hawgs record is, they are always a thorn in the side of Auburn.

there's been a history of genetic freaks playing for the Hawgs in the past, with Matt Jones and Darren McFadden in recent memory...not to mention this fucking guy.

and now their newest freak and the main threat from the 09 version of the Hawgs is their giant (6 foot 7 Frankenstein looking) QB Ryan Mallett and his laser cannon arm.

watching Jonathan Crompton complete passes with ease in the 4th quarter of the Tennessee game last week didn't exactly inspire confidence in me that our secondary won't get shredded into tiny little bits by an actual quarterback with a pulse. the Razorbacks don't have any real play makers in the receiving corp but it doesn't really matter when you've got the best NFL prospect in the SEC distributing it.

also don't forget about Michael Smith who ran all over Auburn last year in Arkasas humiliating defeat of Auburn on the Plains (i was there...it sucked).

the one good thing about the Hawgs is that they have possibly the worst defense in the entire conference and Auburn should be able to drop about 50 points on them with ease...assuming they don't decide to actually step up for the first time this year and shut someone down.

my real biggest worry about the game is the early kickoff time. Auburn has, in the past, tended to play extremely flat during those early start times against lesser SEC competition. i mean losses to Arkansas and Mississippi State in recent years when Auburn was favored have driven me to madness and i've always thought the early start had something to do with it.

in reality Auburn is playing better football this season than Arkansas and should be able to outscore them in a shootout...but it's the SEC and it's Arkansas and honestly i have no clue about this game. i predicted Auburn would lose this one at the beginning of the season...but i also thought we wouldn't beat the Vols in the preseason as well. my gut tells me Auburn keeps the winning going and will be undefeated when they roll into LSU in a couple of weeks.....i hope.

chance for tragedy: 7, Arkansas is bascially the same threat level as Tennessee but you flip an awesome defense for a really good offense (man if you could just combine the Vols D with the Hawgs O you might just have a team).

method of death: eaten alive by a giant pig hungry for points.

TV PARTY, Week 6

The Battle For The Right To Get Blown Out By Either Texas Or Oklahoma In the Big 12 Championship Game

Nebraska at Missouri, Tonight (Thurs) on ESPN 9PM

so is Mizzou actually any good? are Nebraska finally ready to take that next step towards relevence again? will i ever remember to watch this game tonight? probably not, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia will be on.

DAMNIT! You Mean I Have To Actually Get Up and Watch a Noon Game?

Auburn at Arkansas on ESPN at 12PM

the Tigers travel to go play the Hawgs at 10AM. this game should have a total score in the 100s...assuming the players are awake when kickoff starts. i ALWAYS hate it when Auburn plays fucking Arkansas.

So Long Ole' Miss, Nice Knowing You as an SEC Pretender/Contender

Alabama at Ole Miss on CBS 3:30 PM

The Tide can go ahead and put all the pre-season Ole Miss talk to rest for good by running the Rebels over with their big ass monster truck and then throwing their body into the river. fuck Ole Miss.

Will He Won't He?

Florida at LSU on CBS 8 PM

the Gators undefeated dreams will be given their first (and probably only) real test until the SEC title game when they go take on LSU. of course the main question is if football Jesus is gonna play or if he's still too busy gettin' headaches and throwing up. dude, having sex is the best way to clear up a headache...virginity is overrated. anyways even if he doesn't play the Tebow drinking game is still in play.

3rd and 5th best runningbacks? more like 1st and 2nd

ESPN's SEC blogger Chris Low did some RB rankings in the league and Ben Tate comes in 3rd and Onterio McCalebb as 5th.

FREE MOVIE NIGHT @ CINE...again

those Commie/Hippies of the WSLA are at it again with their free midnight movie this Friday....and it's the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME STARRING KURT RUSSELL (that isn't the Thing or Big Trouble in Little China) aka ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. come out to Cine on Friday night and watch Snake Plissken do his thing. New York is a prison, the president is being held captive by criminals, Snake is gonna kick many asses and not even bother with name taking.

choice piece of dialogue:

Bob Hauk: You go in, find the President, bring him out in less than 24 hours, and you're a free man.
Snake Plissken: Bullshit!
Bob Hauk: I'm making you an offer.
Snake Plissken: Get a new president.
Bob Hauk: Is that your answer?
Snake Plissken: I'm thinking about it.
Bob Hauk: Think hard. We're still at war. We need him alive.
Snake Plissken: I don't give a fuck about your war...or your president.

THE AXIS OF EVIL

so awesome.

2Morrow Night Kids, I Bring Forth More Rock

show starts around 10:30 tomorrow night at the Caledonia. we're the 2nd of 3 bands. faces will be melted off by our rocking and rolling. come out, get drunk, have fun.

Rams In Danger Of Becoming Least Likeable Franchise In All Of Sports

Not that i really needed a reason to start hating the St. Louis Rams or anything... but it's safe to say if noted drug addict/Sore loser/Traitor to the Spirit of America/cock goblin, Rush Limbaugh, really does buy them then i might have a new least favorite team in the NFL to root against.

chances the Rams ever have a black QB in the future...less than .05%.

random awesome picture with a Tiger in it

i feel like some creative Auburn fan could come up with something awesome with this picture. i got nothing, i just think it's fucking rad. there's some kind of metaphor for our season in there...somewhere.

College Football Pick Em, Week 6

This weekend something amazing happened....no it wasn't Auburn going 5-0. I FUCKING WON THIS STUPID PICK EM LAST WEEK!!! FUCKING HELL TO THE YES!!! it will never ever happen again.

Thursday Oct 8
1: Nebraska @ Missouri- Nebraska
Saturday Oct. 10
2: Boston College @ Virginia Tech- VT
3: Auburn @ Arkansas- AU
4: Purdue @ Minnesota- MINN
5: West Virginia @ Syracuse- WV
6:Vanderbilt @ Army- VANDY
7: Michigan State @ Illinois- MICH ST
8: UGA @ Tennessee- UT
9: Oklahoma St @ Texas A&M- OK ST
10: kentucky @ South Carolina- SCAR
11: Houston @ Mississippi State- HOUSTON
12: Alabama @ Mississippi- OLE MISS
13: Wisconsin @ Ohio State- OSU
14: Oregon @ UCLA- ORE
15: Baylor @ Oklahoma- OK
16:Connecticut @ Pittsburgh- PITT
17: Navy @ Rice- NAVY
18: Indiana @ Virginia- VIRGINIA
19: Duke @ NC State- NC ST
20: Arizona State @ Washington State- ARIZ
21: Maryland @ Wake Forest- WAKE
22: Stanford @ Oregon State- STAN
23: Kansas State @ Texas Tech- TX TECH
24: Colorado @ Texas- TEXAS
25: TCU @ Air Force- TCU
26: Southern Mississippi @ Louisville- S MISS
27: Florida @ LSU- FLORIDA
28: Michigan @ Iowa- IOWA
29: Arizona State @ Washington- ARIZONA
30: Georgia Tech @ FSU- GA TECH

Tiebreakers (Total PTS)
A: Florida @ LSU 78
b: Alabama @ Ole Miss 60
c: UGA @ Tennessee 35
D: Auburn @ Arkansas 90

Welcome Back to the Polls, Tigers

hey it only took about 2 weeks longer than it should have, but Auburn is back in the AP and Coaches polls, debuting at 17 and 19. i'm actually shocked Notre Dame's lousy 4-1 ass isn't ranked too. i'm also a little annoyed that 2-2 Oklahoma remains ranked, i mean Houston who has much more impressive wins than the Sooners fell completely out of both top 25s after losing to UTEP. just cuz you started the year in the top 5 doesn't mean you can't fall completely out of the polls. voters remain lazy, stupid, and in love with big names as always. again, Fuck the Polls....and also thanks for finally fucking ranking us, dickheads.

as follows is my top 25:

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25, Week 5
1. BAMA
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. Virginia Tech
5. LSU
6. USC
7. Cincinnati
8. Boise State
9. TCU
10. Miami
11. Oregon
12. Ohio State
13. Auburn
14. Kansas
15. Oklahoma State
16. BYU
17. Iowa
18. Georgia Tech
19. South Florida
20. South Carolina
21. Ole' Miss
22. Mizzou
23. Penn State
24. Wisconsin
25. Houston

Alabama is your new number 1...but really it'll just take a win over LSU for the Gators to jump back on top.

USC's thrashing of Cal reminds us that all your Pac-10 is belong to them.

I let Houston stay ranked for at least a week. A bad loss is a bad loss, but they did beat TWO Big 12 teams this year and deserve to stay ranked.

Stanford, Nebraska, Central Michigan, and Baylor are all on my radar.

I refuse to rank Notre Dame until they beat a legit team and quit pulling out last second wins vs teams that probably won't even make a bowl.

5-19 = who gives a shit? 5-0 is all that matters

The Chiz is doing his best job to make everyone look stupid by turning Auburn into one of the surprises of the 09 season...granted the rest of the year is full of tests and this team could easily lose 5 of it's last 7, but even so Auburn believes it can win games. And that optimism might be the best thing our new headcoach has brought to this team.

5 quick thoughts

I Love U Chiz
I Love U Ben Tate
I Love U One Armed Zombie QB
I Love U Lil' McCalebb
I Love U Gustav

Oh yeah...

FUCK THE POLLS!

Let's make TShirts.

you can feel the oncoming crunkness in the ATH

So it's the LSU/UGA game tomorrow in my lovely little town of Athens. There's already so much fucking purple and gold walking around downtown that you'd think kickoff was a few hours from now. When 2 teams I hate as much as Georgia and LSU play it's hard not to root for a natural disaster to swallow them all....and then some douchebag in an LSU polo talked some shit to me and I was just walking down the street...so I hope the Dawgs whip their ass tomorrow and I see that guy lookin all sad tomorrow night so I can punch him in the balls.

Suicide Watch (2009), Week 5 OPERATION: kick ass, take names, get ranked

motherfuckin' Lane Kiffin can eat a bag of dicks. i never gave a shit about Tennessee and now i actively hate them.

okay, Auburn has an offensive...we've all got massive football boners at this teams ability to score points in bunches. we've got a lethal ground attack and a QB who is putting up great numbers. we even have wideouts who know how to catch a football. Tennessee got beat by UCLA and didn't even bother trying to do anything, other than not get blown out by the Gators. this should be a no brainer, right? wrong.

they've got quiet possibly the worst QB in the league....but they have an awesome defense. plus they NEED this win. so far this season the Vols look pretty much like the same bunch of losers that they did last year, where Auburn has shown immediate improvement on the field. the Vols need a big win in conference against one of the fellow SEC big boys to let everyone know that they are a team to worry about.

so far Chris Todd has been mostly mistake free...i have a feeling that Eric Berry might have something to say about that.

and honestly for Tennessee to have any chance then Berry and the defensive are going to have to shut down Auburn's high powered offense and create turnovers and short fields for their offense to work with. the less time Auburn is on the field the better.

i honestly believe Auburn SHOULD win this game about 24 to 17. i see the Vols defense being able to hold the Spread Eagle 2 in check a bit, i just can't see their Crompton lead offense being able to crack the 20 point mark. i almost feel Auburn would have to GIVE the Vols this game through turnovers and bad special teams play to lose.

chance for tragedy: 7, no matter how shitty Tennessee's offense looks they are still an SEC power and they are playing at home. this is Auburn's first roadtrip of the year going up against one of the best defenses in the country. that's always frightening.

method of death: you weren't ready to die...it was that fucking sniper who got you and ended those dreams.

TV Party, Week 5

Bill Stewart is the new Croom...aka Coach Killer.

Colorado @ West Virginia tonight on EPSN 7:30pm

the rematch of the game that gave us this amazing image.

last year Dan Hawkins ruined Bill Stewart's early career with an early season loss....this year Bill Stewart gets to help drive another nail into Hawkins' coffin. Revenge is fun, kids.

Roll Bama Roll....off a cliff.

Alabama @ Kentucky on ESPN360 or The SEC Network (aka TBS) 12:01 PM

watching Bama destroy SEC competition isn't exactly my favorite thing to do, but i've yet to watch a Tide game all year other than the opener, so i might as well see what we've got coming down on us to end the year.

FINALLY AN SEC GAME WORTH GIVING A SHIT ABOUT

LSU @ UGA on CBS at 3:30

the Dawgs and the Drunk Ass Tigers in the first major SEC matchup of this young season. i think we're gonna actually find out which one of these teams is for real after this game. if anything, Athens should be a fun place to be this weekend.


MISSION: KICK LANE KIFFIN's ASS BETTER THAN FLORIDA DID

Auburn @ Tennessee on ESPN at 7:45

it's time for Auburn to find out if their offense is for real by going up against one of the SEC...scratch that, the nation's best defensive units. win this one and the Tigers are back in the polls and the momentum for a New Year's bowl game is there. lose it and the Tiger fanbase expectations will probably fall back to reality.