A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Finally Our Long National Recruiting Nightmare is Over.

Dear Michigan,

you are fucked...for probably the next few years til you can find a really awesome and super athletic QB to run your spread offense. Terrelle Pryor is gonna be a Buckeye. congradulations to Pryor who will get the chance to lose to an SEC school of his choice in an upcoming BCS title game in the next few seasons.

Straight Cash Homey

last night i witnessed the kind of degenerate gambling that makes this country great when i watched a few hours of a friend's NCAA Calcutta where betters bid on teams in an effort to win a huge pot that makes your office pool seem pointless in comparison. we will just say UGA went for 55 dollars and leave it at that. sickening...and yet amazing and way to rich for my blood, dog. i bid on St. Joe's and Arkansas and put my cap at 20 bucks and wasn't anywhere close to landing either team.

*if your friends spent upwards to 350 bucks and you put a cap on yourself at 20...then you need a career.

Monday, March 17, 2008

THE FINAL FOUR

my likely final four matchups

Memphis vs. UCLA

after only losing 1 game all season the Tigers fall to UCLA, the best team from the best conference will finally put an end to their dream season as the Bruins march on to another championship game.

North Carolina vs. Georgetown

it's the 80s all over again and just like with the Jordan/Worthy team, North Carolina will knock off the Hoyas again setting up....

National Championship game: UCLA vs. North Carolina

and UCLA wins it all...3rd times a charm. now that the Bruins don't have to play Florida in anymore final fours, UCLA can finally win another national championship.

West Region

1st round
1. UCLA vs. 16. Missippi Valley State: UCLA
8. BYU vs. 9. Texas A&M: BYU
5. Drake vs. 12. Western Kentucky: Drake
4. UConn vs. 13. San Diego: UConn
6. Purdue vs. 11. Baylor: Baylor
3. Xavier vs. 14. UGA: Xavier
7. West Virginia vs. 10. Arizona: West Virginia
2. Duke vs. 15. Belmount: Duke

2nd round
1. UCLA vs. 8. BYU: UCLA
5. Drake vs. 4. Uconn: UConn
11. Baylor vs. 3. Xavier: Xavier
7. West Virginia vs. 2. Duke: Duke

sweet 16
1. UCLA vs. 4.UConn: UCLA
2. Duke vs. 3. Xavier: Xavier

elite 8
1. UCLA vs. 3. Xavier: UCLA

South Region

1st round
1. Memphis vs. 16. UT-Arlington: Memphis
8. Mississippi State vs. 9. Oregon: Oregon
5. Michigan State vs. 12. Temple: Michigan State
4. Pittsburg vs 13. Oral Roberts: Pitt
6. Marquette vs. 11. Kentucky: Kentucky
3. Stanford vs. 14. Cornell: Stanford
7. Miami vs. 10. St. Mary's: St. Mary's
2. Texas vs. 15. Austin Peay: Texas

2nd round
1. Memphis vs. 9. Oregon: Memphis
5. Michigan State vs. 4. Pitt: Pitt
11. Kentucky vs. 3. Stanford: Stanford
10. St. Mary's vs. 2. Texas: Texas

sweet 16
1. Memphis vs. 4. Pitt: Memphis
2. Texas: 3. Stanford: Stanford

elite 8
1. Memphis vs 3. Stanford: Memphis

Midwest Region

1st round
1. Kansas vs. 16. Portland St.: Kansas
8. UNLV vs. 9. Kent State: UNLV
5. Clemson vs. 12. Villanova: Nova
4. Vanderbilt vs. 13. Siena: Vandy
6. USC vs. 11. Kansas St.: USC
3. Wisconsin: vs. 14. Cal State Fullerton: Wisconsin
7. Gonzaga vs. 10. Davidson: Gonzaga
2. Georgetown vs. 16. UMBC: Georgetown

2nd round
1. Kansas vs 8. UNLV: Kansas
12. Villanova vs. 4. Vanderbilt: Vandy
6. USC vs. 3. Wisconsin: USC
7. Gonzage vs. 2. Georgetown: Georgetown

sweet 16.
1. Kansas vs 4. Vandy: Kansas
2. Georgetown vs. 6. USC: Georgetown

elite 8
1. Kansas vs. 2. Georgetown: Georgetown

East Region

1st round
1. UNC vs. 16. play in winner: winner UNC
8. Indiana vs. 9. Arkansas: Indiana
5. Notre Dame vs. 12. George Mason: George Mason
4. Washington State vs. 13. Winthrop: Wash. St.
6. Oklahoma vs. 11. St Jospeh's: St. Joe's
3. Lousville vs. 14. Boise State: Louisville
7. Butler vs. 10. South Alabama: Butler
2. Tennessee vs. 15. American: Tennessee

2nd round
1. UNC vs. 8. Indiana: UNC
12. George Mason vs. 4. Washington St.: Wash. St.
11. St Josephs vs. 3. Louisville: L'ville
2. Tennessee vs. 7. Butler: Tennessee

sweet 16
1. UNC vs. 4. Washington St: UNC
3. Louisville vs. 2. Tennessee: L'Ville

elite 8
1. UNC vs. 3. Louisville: UNC

BRACKETS OF MADNESS

time to piss away hard earned dollars on various gambling pools i am entering today. my strategy this year is to pick 3 different champs in 3 different pools and hopefully i will come away with the pot in one of them. but with my luck none of those teams will win and i'll be fucked. whatever.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

UGA Wins The SEC Tournament...thus telling the world the SEC sucks this year.

so i make no secrets about my hatred of The University Of Georgia's football program. it dates back to my early childhood. it threatens to dwarf the hatred i hold for the New York Yankees/Boston Red Sox rivalry...but UGA basketball is an entirely different beast. i've always been a sucker for a good underdog story and UGA is by far the best one i've seen in a while. they had to win three games in 48 hours knocking off favored teams in al of their matchups during the SEC tournament and they did it...earning them an automatic bid in the NCAA tournemnt. will i pick them to actually win any games? uh, no. but still i appreciate the effort that a pretty lousy college basketball team was able to put forth under the strangest of situations and so as much as it pains me to ever fucking say this, "Go Dawgs". anyways a little bit of advice for the gambling masses: don't pick any of the SEC teams to go further than the Sweet 16, that's all you need to know.

Cinderella is Red and Black

the Dawgs keep winning...thus proving how badly the SEC sucks in basketball this year. watching these SEC tournament games on tv was weird. no fans in the stands, playing at Tech instead of the Dome...the whole thing looks and feels like you are watching highschool basketball. it's kind of awesome. they should do this every year for the SEC tournament, it at least keeps all the obnoxious Kentucky fans at home. if the Dawgs beat Arkansas tomorrow they are gonna end up in the NCAA tournament...probably even in that lousy play in game. but if they lose to the Hawgs they won't even be eligible for the NIT because they will have i losing record (at least i think they'll be ineligible). i love Post-Season college basketball.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Dawgs beat Kentucky....in Basketball...huh?

so much for that NCAA Tournament spot for the Wildcats. you lose to a team as shitty as Georgia in the SEC Tournament then you don't really deserve to go anywhere that isn't called the NIT. i love college basketball. Georgia gets to turn around and play Mississippi State tonight thanks to last nights game being cancelled.

Tear The Roof Off The Motherfucker

so apparently it takes an act of god to stop the Crimson Tide. Bama has been on a tear to close out their season, knocking off Vandy to end the regular season and then completely destroying Florida in the SEC Tournament. last night they were in overtime trying to eliminate Mississippi State when a fucking tornado hit the Georgia Dome, knocking off some pieces and scaring the shit out of everybody inside. after about an hour long delay the game resumed and the Tide lost. tough luck Bama. see you in the NIT.

as far as the Dome goes, this is what we like to call a sign from God. it's time to tear that piece of shit down and build a new state of the art facility outside the city limits. you can't bring fans to see the Falcons play with the shitty team they are fielding, so you might as well give us a bunch of fancy bells and whistles to keep the people distracted from the horrible football you are pushing.

here's some video of the whole thing.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Worship The Runningback

I've been watching college football pretty religiously now for about 25 years. granted there have been stretches where i paid little or no attention to the sport outside of what Auburn was doing (especially the years when i was too busy being grunge and discovering teen aged girls), but in general i watched enough games and kept up with enough sportscenter highlights to know who was who, what was what, and what the fuck was going on.

now growing up in the South with the long shadow of SEC football looming over everything i have learned two important rules.
1) You Must Run The Football!
2) You Must Run The Football!
Steve Spurrier be damned, but SEC football is all about the runningback. The following list are my top 10 all time favorite college runningbacks of my lifetime.

1. BO JACKSON- probably the entire reason i grew up an Auburn fan instead of Alabama or Georgia.

2. Herschel Walker- when i moved to Georgia as a kid all i knew was the greatest athlete in college history was some guy named Herschel. it's kinda hard to argue with that logic.

3. Reggie Bush- if he ever becomes a great pro or not is irrelevant. if he got paid by an agent while at school also doesn't matter. all you need to know is that Reggie Bush put up over 500 all purpose yards in a game against Fresno State and it was fucking awesome. it's the single greatest performance by an athlete i have ever seen. and it gave us this play.

4. Barry Sanders- so fucking sick. the original Reggie Bush. too bad he played for a shitty team that i never got to watch.

5. Adrian Peterson- seriously, how the fuck did he not win a Heisman? oh yeah, he got hurt too damn much.

6. Marshall Faulk- i couldn't find any good college highlights of him on youtube, but he was fucking sick. another crime against the Heisman trophy is that he never won one.

7. Darren McFadden- i don't think i have ever wished a player had gone to Auburn more than Run DMC. probably the greatest SEC runningback since Bo. a fucking demon. i still can't belive Auburn was able to shut him down this year. it's a shame he's gonna end up in Oakland.

8. Cadillac Williams- my second favorite Auburn runningback ever. if he'd ever stay healthy he could be an all-pro. i'd like to see him end up with the Falcons some day. the leader of the greatest Auburn team of my lifetime. War Fucking Eagle.

9. Lawrence Phillips- when i think about wasted talent i immediately think of Phillips. he was so fucking sick at Nebraska. too bad he was a fucking idiot in life.

10. Garrison Hearst- whenever i hear Georgia fans talk about how fucking awesome Knowshon Moreno is and how he's the best Georgia back since Walker i get pissed and remind them of Garrison Hearst (who unfortunately is more remembered for starting the Madden curse and less for being an awesome college back). i couldn't find any youtube highlights of him either. but take my word for it, he was amazing.

and just for the hell of it. a video of Emmitt Smith crying after never beating Auburn during his college career.

just sittin' around waitin' for the madness to begin

conference tournament time is pretty much the period when i start to pay attention to college basketball and decide who i am gonna waste my thirty dollars on in whatever betting pool i enter. i've been filling out brackets since i was in junior high and have never finished better than 3rd. this year i expect pretty much the same sort of result. North Carolina is my early lean...but considering i am pretty sure everyone i know is either gonna pick them or UCLA to win it all there's that little part in the back of my brain telling me to roll the dice and go with someone like Memphis or even a darkhorse team like Louisville to win it all. 30 dollars was never thrown away with such ease. you'd have to be a sucker to think you're gonna win...unless your friends are all morons or you get lucky. and lucky isn't exactly something that comes natural to me. regardless more will be written on this subject in the next few weeks as the most exciting time of the sports year is about to begin. MB get that projector ready, we is 'bout to get our tournament on.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

yep, i totally suck at basketball (just as i thought)

so it's finally getting warm outside. t-shirt weather even. and with the improving weather and the start of march madness i've got basketball on my mind. it's a rare month long time period where i actually give a shit about hoops. so i decided to head out to the basketball court next to my house and try out my old jumper. hell i bought a fucking headband, might as well use the fucking thing....unfortunately for me and my headband, my skills on the basketball court aren't what they were when i was 16. firstly i am an out of shape mess who hasn't really engaged in much physical activity since my band broke up...so i could only really run around getting my own rebound from all my bricked shots for about an hour and secondly i can't shoot a free throw to save my life. i took 50 shots from the line and only hit 12 of them. so if you are ever interested in playing pickup basketball with me, just foul the shit out of me and send me to the line cuz i am as reliable as Shaq. my only real enjoyment from the exercise was that i was surprisingly accurate from the three point line...nailing 4 in a row at one point and sinking about 20 in all. it was sort of ridiculous that i was far more accurate from behind the arch than i was from the charity stripe. whatever, i'll take it. my dreams of being john paxon still live. regardless it was kind fun sucking it up on the court while the 10 year old kid standing outside the fence laughed at me while i airballed a free throw. i'm planning on attempting to play some hoops again, next time with actual humans other than myself in the never ending quest to fit in the jeans i used to wear 2 years ago.

this headband is official, and it's officially being wasted on my no ballin' ass.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

just call him JaMarcus The Hutt

you can probably file this under: unsubstantiated rumor... but word on the streets (and by streets i mean nerdy sports blogs that exist on these here internets.) last year's Number 1 overall pick and former LSU star has gotten pretty fat in the offseason.

"how fat?" you ask. try 300 motherfucking pounds fat! that's right a 300 pound QB, not even Jared Lorenzen can touch that. if this is true the Raiders might wanna think about moving JaMarcus over to left tackle, but seriously what other team besides the goddamn Raiders would let their most important player not take care of himself and balloon like that? Oakland is a fucking joke. it pains me so.

in other players i predicted to be busts in the NFL news, former USC standout receiver Dwayne Jarrett went and got his ass arrested for a DWI. so at this point that can't miss group of superstars at USC that included Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Lendale White, Dwayne Jarrett, and Steve Smith is looking more and more like a group of guys who coulda been...but then again i guess that's a little premature to call them a bunch of busts. esp considering White and Smith are probably gonna be reliable pros and the bar for Bush was set too impossibly high for him to ever really reach. Leinart is mostly just a douche and so i guess that leaves Jarrett as the one true bust that will come out of that group. still i don't think any of them are ever really gonna be the collection of probowlers i thought they were during the 2004-2005 college football seasons.

pour out a 40 for Eric Crouch's career

so a story that happened last week that i neglected to cover was the official closing down of the All American Football League, a league made up of college graduates who couldn't cut it in the NFL or CFL or Arena League. there were teams set to play in Texas, Florida, Michigan, Alabama, Arkansas, and Tennessee that were to be made up of college players from those and surrounding states. some of the leagues stars were to be former Florida QB Chris Leak and former Nebraska QB Eric Crouch. you've really gotta feel bad for Crouch. the guy is living proof that the Heisman Trophy is nothing more than a glorified paper weight. since winning the award in 2001 he's been cut from two NFL teams (correction, cut by the Rams cuz he wanted to play QB and they wanted him to be a receiver and then he asked Greenbay to let him go cuz he wanted to play QB and the team drafted Aaron Rodgers), he's been a washout in NFL Europe (where he tried to play safety), and he was the third string QB for the Toronto Argonauts. this was his last/best chance to finally be a pro QB (albeit in the 3rd rate league) and now it's all over. dude, please just go sell some insurance in Lincoln or coach a high school football team. it's too painful to watch you fail. i mean i understand and believe in your love of the game, but man, it's just not gonna happen bro. please ESPN give this guy a job as an analyst...or something. make the hurting stop for our poor boy Eric.

*on a related note (aka QBs who should quit while they are ahead), ten bucks says Brandon Cox would've ended up playing in this league for the Alabama team and also would lead the league in sacks and picks.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Fucking Falcons Can Eat A Dick

uggggggggggggggggghhhh!
that's the sound my brain makes whenever i think about the coming NFL Draft.

lingering like a salary cap crushing plague over the head of an already tragically stupid organization is the number 3 pick in this year's draft...and the name Matt Ryan keeps getting thrown around by all the NFL insiders and draft gurus as the logical choice. and it seems all the more likely that the Boston College QB is the direction the Falcons are looking towards and it's all enough to make a grown man cry.

first the Falcons signed Michael Turner thereby sending a signal to their fans that Darren McFadden wouldn't be stepping into the Dome to save fan interest and sell some motherfucking jerseys and then yesterday Atlanta cut QB Joey Harrington which all but throws up a red flag that the Falcons won't be doing the smart thing this year by building with either the best defensive tackle (Glenn Dorsey) or the best offensive tackle (Jake Long) and instead are gonna set the franchise back another ten years with an overrated college QB who played against a weak ACC, threw 19 interceptions as a fucking senior, completed less than 60% of his passes, and won zero championships. exactly what about those qualities equals franchise QB to you? i swear Matt Ryan must have pictures of all the guys at ESPN is some gay orgy because i've never seen such a lovefest for such an average player in my life. yesterday i heard Collin Cowherd call him the next Ben Roethlisberger. really??? i call him the next Tim Couch.

i'd go through the laundry list of reasons why i think Matt Ryan sucks and would much rather see Brian Brohm get drafted or better yet have the Falcons take a QB in the second of third round like Andre Woodson, Joe Flacco, Eric Ainge...or hell even Chad Henne (although i think he'll suck too) but basically anyone would be a smarter and cheaper option. but if you need more than just blind hatred of a player and require those pesky facts to back up arguments then you might as well read this guy's blog about the situation. http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/157099.

well if Atlanta does decide to piss off their fanbase and draft the kid we might as well get used to this image as it's gonna be happening pretty much every fucking sunday.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Go Dawgs

oh sweet jesus, this is the funniest fucking squidbillies clip ever.

Peace Out Favre

he finally hung it up. odds he stays retired...right now i'd put it at 2/1. the real question is, What is John Madden gonna do? and honestly i never really thought about it, but why hasn't Favre ever been the cover boy of Madden? in my top 3 dumbest moves that the Atlanta Falcons have ever made, trading Favre to the Packers is easily number 1.
the King is Dead. Long Live The King.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Disappointment (it's the Falcon Fan way of life)

so Atlanta signed L.T.'s backup, Michael Turner, for like a billion dollars...showing that they haven't learned the art of spending wisely and also sending a signal to their fanbase that they aren't gonna be drafting Darren McFadden. i guess having two runningbacks that are more suited to be backups are better than having a really fucking awesome runningback who might bring some fans back to the Dome. oh fucking well. let's hope they end up taking Glenn Dorsey or Jake Long then.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

File Under: Useless Stats that Will Have No Baring On The Next College Football Season

Below the overall conference records are the rankings of each division team based upon their winning percentages against their own divisions and against their counterpart divisions within the conference...

Interesting stuff to see how the individual teams in the conference have fared against each other...

Florida---127 Games(102-25) .803%

SEC WEST (35-17) .673%
Arkansas (6-0)
Louisiana State (10-5)
Alabama (5-3)
Auburn (8-5)
Mississippi (3-2)
Missisippi State (3-2)

SEC EAST (67-8) .894%
Kentucky (15-0)
Vanderbilt (15-0)
South Carolina (14-1)
Georgia (12-3)
Tennessee (11-4)

Tennessee---125 Games(92-32-1) .740%

SEC WEST (35-14-1) .714%
Mississippi (4-0)
Arkansas (10-2)
Mississippi State (5-1)
Alabama (10-4-1)
Auburn (3-3)
Louisiana State (3-4)

SEC EAST (57-18) .760%
Kentucky (15-0)
South Carolina (14-1)
Vanderbilt (14-1)
Georgia (10-5)
Florida (4-11)

Auburn---123 Games(80-42-1) .654%

SEC WEST (50-25) .667%
Mississippi (13-2)
Alabama (10-5)
Mississippi State (10-5)
Arkansas (9-6)
Louisiana State (8-7)

SEC EAST (30-17-1) .638%
Vanderbilt (6-0)
Kentucky (4-0)
South Carolina (4-0)
Georgia (8-6-1)
Tennessee (3-3)
Florida (5-8)

Georgia---123 Games(75-47-1) .614%

SEC WEST (31-16-1) .660%
Mississippi State (4-0)
Arkansas (5-1)
Mississippi (9-3)
Louisiana State (4-2)
Alabama (3-2)
Auburn (6-8-1)

SEC EAST (44-31) .587%
Kentucky (13-2)
Vanderbilt (13-2)
South Carolina (10-5)
Tenessee (5-10)
Florida (3-12)

Louisiana State---124 Games(75-48-1) .609%

SEC WEST (50-25) .667%
Mississippi State (14-1)
Arkansas (10-5)
Mississippi (10-5)
Alabama (9-6)
Auburn (7-8)

SEC EAST (25-23-1) .521%
Vanderbilt (4-0)
South Carolina (3-1-1)
Kentucky (7-5)
Tennessee (4-3)
Georgia (2-4)
Florida (5-10)

Alabama---124 Games(68-55-1) .552%

SEC WEST (41-34) .547%
Mississippi (13-2)
Mississippi State (9-6)
Arkansas (8-7)
Louisiana State (6-9)
Auburn (5-10)

SEC EAST (27-21-1) .563%
Vanderbilt (12-0)
Kentucky (3-1)
South Carolina (3-2)
Georgia (2-3)
Florida (3-5)
Tennessee (4-10-1)

Arkansas---123 Games(57-65-1) .467%

SEC WEST (40-34-1) .541%
Mississippi State (12-2-1)
Mississippi (10-5)
Alabama (7-8)
Arkansas (6-9)
Louisiana State (5-10)

SEC EAST (17-31) .354%
South Carolina (9-6)
Vanderbilt (3-1)
Kentucky (2-3)
Georgia (1-5)
Tennessee (2-10)
Florida (0-6)

South Carolina---120 Games(45-74-1) .379%

SEC WEST (15-29-1) .341%
Mississippi State (6-6)
Alabama (2-3)
Arkansas (6-9)
Louisiana State (1-3-1)
Auburn (0-4)
Mississippi (0-4)

SEC EAST (30-45) .400%
Vanderbilt (12-3)
Kentucky (11-4)
Georgia (5-10)
Florida (1-14)
Tennessee (1-14)

Mississippi---120 Games(45-75) .375%

SEC WEST (21-54) .280%
Mississippi State (7-8)
Arkansas (5-10)
Alabama (2-13)
Auburn (2-13)
Louisiana State (5-10)

SEC EAST (24-21) .533%
South Carolina (4-0)
Vanderbilt (12-3)
Kentucky (3-2)
Florida (2-3)
Georgia (3-9)
Tennessee (0-4)

Mississippi State---121 Games(42-78-1) .351%

SEC WEST (22-52-1) .297%
Mississippi (8-7)
Alabama (6-9)
Auburn (5-10)
Arkansas (2-12-1)
Louisiana State (1-14)

SEC EAST (20-26) .435%
Vanderbilt (3-1)
Kentucky (8-7)
South Carolina (6-6)
Florida (2-3)
Tennessee (1-5)
Georgia (0-4)

Kentucky---120 Games(34-86) .283%

SEC WEST (18-27) .400%
Arkansas (3-2)
Mississippi State (7-8)
Mississippi (2-3)
Louisiana State (5-7)
Alabama (1-3)
Auburn (0-4)

SEC EAST (16-59) .213%
Vanderbilt (10-5)
South Carolina (4-11)
Georgia (2-13)
Florida (0-15)
Tennessee (0-15)

Vanderbilt---120 Games(16-104) .133%

SEC WEST (5-40) .111%
Alabama (0-12)
Arkansas (1-3)
Auburn (0-6)
Mississippi (3-12)
Missisippi State (1-3)
Louisiana State (0-4)

SEC EAST (11-64) .172%
Florida (0-15)
Georgia (2-13)
Kentucky (5-10)
South Carolina (3-12)
Tennessee (1-14)

--------------------------------------------

SEC EAST TEAMS VS SEC EAST:
Florida (67-8) .894%
Tennessee (57-18) .760%
Georgia (44-31) .587%
South Carolina (30-45) .400%
Kentucky (16-59) .213%
Vanderbilt (11-64) .172%

SEC EAST TEAMS VS SEC WEST(139-143-3):
Tennessee (35-14-1) .714%
Florida (35-17) .673%
Georgia (31-16-1) .660%
Kentucky (18-27) .400%
South Carolina (15-29-1) .341%
Vanderbilt (5-40) .111%

SEC WEST TEAMS VS SEC WEST:
Auburn (50-25) .667%
Louisiana State (50-25) .667%
Alabama (41-34) .547%
Arkansas (40-34-1) .541%
Mississippi State (22-52-1) .297%
Mississippi (21-54) .280%

SEC WEST TEAMS VS SEC EAST(143-139-3):
Auburn (30-17-1) .638%
Alabama (27-21-1) .563%
Mississippi (24-21) .533%
Louisiana State (25-23-1) .521%
Mississippi State (20-26) .435%
Arkansas (17-31) .354%

Monday, February 25, 2008

DRAFT MCFADDEN

all i have to say is 4.27. WOW.

Please trade De'Angelo Hall with the quickness

i guess those De'Angelo Hall trade rumors were a little more than rumors and now Hall is saying the Falcons stabbed him in the back and he wants to go play somewhere he's wanted. honestly as a Falcons fan all i can really say is don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I've NEVER been a fan of Hall. he's a descent enough cornerback...but falls a little on the overrated side. he gets beaten consistently by the top receivers in the league and is usually more interested in talking shit to the wideout he's covering than winning games. for a good example of that you only need to look at the game against the Panthers when he racked up 67 yards in penalties after getting into it with Steve Smith.

The Falcons say they want multiple picks for Hall. i'd be happy with just a first round and a 3rd round this year. this is Hall's last year and it was likely he'd probably go sign with another team next year anyways. all that really matters is that he's gone.

the guy is the type of player that can turn into a cancer in your locker room, and with a new coaching staff coming in and with how badly things went last year the Falcons don't need ANY distractions (not to mention Hall was the ringleader of the discontent with last year's team. i don't blame Petrino for leaving).

especially since they'll probably doing a whole lot of losing again next season. get what you can for Hall while he's still got value, move on. then draft well....dear god draft well.

more so than any franchise in the NFL the Falcons have to start over, dumping their overrated and overpaid star cornerback is another move in the right direction.

go poorly cover T.O. for someone else, thank you very much.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

for once, something was worth the hype

okay. i am officially ready for the NCAA tournament to start. HOLY SHIT! that Memphis vs Tennessee game was easily the best game i've seen all season. either one of those teams could go to the Final Four or even win it all. i guess nobody is going undefeated this year. Tennessee gets the big win...could be setting themselves up for a National Title run. is it safe to go ahead and call them a basketball school now? The Vols are number one. and Lofton only had 5 points?!?!? this loss is probably the best thing to happen to Memphis though...if they'd gone into the tournament undefeated i probably would picked them to lose in the elite 8, but now i think i will pick 'em to go to the final 4.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Finally Some Good News For A Change

so the football god's have decided to be merciful for once as Atlanta won their three way coin toss and has landed the third pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. we could go into a myriad of ways to how the Falcons will fuck this up (two words: Matt Ryan) but we'll save that for another day. instead let's revel in the first good news that Falcons' fans have had since all that Vick shit started. now all this drama could have been avoided if the Falcons had just done the smart thing and lost the final regular season game...but hey, that's just not the Falcon Way.

top 5 scenarios i'd like to see Atlanta do with the pick.
1. draft Darren McFadden
2. draft Glenn Dorsey
3. draft Jake Long
4. trade the pick to Dallas for Marion Barber and a 1st round pick.
5. draft Matt Ryan and then set him on fire

also there are some rumors that the Falcons might be interested in trading De'Angelo Hall for draft picks. please let this rumor be true.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Feel The Pain

this is one of those pieces of youtube gold that i will come back to time and time again, especially when i need to feel better about myself that i am not a freakish 7 foot 7 Mormon who gets dunked on by guys who are a foot shorter than him. let us celebrate and also feel pity for Shawn Bradley, the NBA's bitch.

Auburn's Depth Chart Heading Into Spring Football.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Sir Charles is not a fan of the Fake Christians

way to go Republicans. you lost the only cool black dude who was ever a member of your party.

tell em Chuck.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

An Open Letter To Jake Plummer and his Mustache part 2

Dear Jake Plummer,

My name is Justin Robinson. I am an unfortunate and tragic fan of the Atlanta Falcons. You may or may not have heard, but currently our franchise qb is in prison. and we just went through a season where Joey Harrington and Byron Leftwich were our best options. as it stands i think Chris Redman was our last starting qb (yeah i don't know who that is either). our coach quit and took the Arkansas job and we hired some guy i've never heard of. apparently there are some people in the Falcons organization who would like to waste our first round draft pick on some QB who played for Boston College last year named Matt Ryan. i believe this to be some kind of an evil conspiracy being created by the elitist East Coast Media trying to push an overrated college qb who threw 19 interceptions on my poor Falcons so that we remain the laughing stock of the league. We were just wondering if it would be at all possible to get you to come out of retirement and get Tampa Bay to trade you north to Atlanta. I have followed your career since your senior year at Arizona State where you lead the Sun Devils to a Rose Bowl appearance. You were one of the most exciting players in college football. Running around like a fool and making amazing plays and earning the nickname Jake The Snake (well that was already someone else's name...but who cares). Bill Walsh even called you "the next Joe Montana". unfortunately you spent your early years in the NFL tearing it up for the Cardinals and performing amazing feats such as throwing a pass with your left hand and getting leveled by linebackers after your 4th interception of the game. but still you were totally awesome to watch and if i am gonna be asked as a fan of the Falcons to endure another losing season, I'd at least like to have a QB behind center who could make me care about the fact that yeah we were gonna lose...but goddamnit we were gonna fucking lose with some style. Jake Plummer, Atlanta Needs You. And Your Mustache.

thanks.

your pal,

justin

Peace Out, Castro

like all good ballplayers who have outlasted their usefulness Castro has finally "retired" (read that as forced out of power for lack of production...there's no DH for world leaders) and so we salute the man who has brought us the most dominate baseball team in the world during international play with the list of some of the greatest Cuban baseball players ever.

the top 5
1. Tony Perez
2. Tony Oliva
3. Rafeal Palmeiro
4. Jose Canseco
5. Minnie Miñoso

best of the rest
Jorge Posada
Livan Hernandez
Luis Gonzalez
Danny Tartabull
Mike Lowell
Fernando Viña
Rey Ordonez

Monday, February 18, 2008

Perrilloux!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as an Auburn fan i am totally saying YES YES YES, but as a fan of college football who saw this kid as being the next Vick (probably a little too literally) i am a little sad to hear that Ryan Perrilloux has been suspended indefinitely by LSU. considering the amount of fucking trouble this kid has gotten into during his 3 years at LSU it would seem that Les Miles may have finally gotten tired of putting all his hopes on an uber talented (if not slightly brain damaged) kid who can't stay out of the dog house and i'm willing to bet that this is probably it for him at LSU. i'm betting he goes and plays for a Division II school and then goes pro or maybe goes and plays in the Arena league for a year before entering the draft...but yeah i think it's pretty much a given that he's not gonna be leading the Tigers to any SEC titles next year...or maybe he will, hell it is LSU.

My Top 10 Football Movies

so football season is over. it's all very depressing. the occupy myself this weekend i ended up watching a marathon of football movies on FX. well marathon might be a strong word, but i did end up watching Friday Night Lights and Any Given Sunday...both great football movies. and that got me thinking, what are my top 10 favorite football movies? this is the list i came up with.

1. Friday Night Lights- easily my favorite football movie of all time. hell it's my favorite sports movie of all time. fuck it's one of my favorite movies of all time.

2. North Dallas Forty- the first realistic football movie that exposed the darkside of pro football. drugs, booze, women, playing hurt, getting screwed by the front office. and nick nolte totally rules.

3. Remember The Titans- black people and white people unite together and fight racism and win a championship. everyone feels better about themselves.

4. Any Given Sunday- the movie that showed jamie foxx could act. a little too flashy for it's own good, but has really awesome football sequences.

5. All The Right Moves- tom cruise as a hot shot highschool prospect trying to get out of his shitty town and go to college. his least gay role ever.

6. The Longest Yard (the original version)- burt reynolds. prison. the 70s. nuff said.

7. Necessary Roughness- it's actually kind of a terrible movie, but i've seen it about 100 times on HBO and it has a special place in my heart because of that. the plot involves a college team being put on probation that results in them getting a one time highschool football legend to come out of retirement in his late 30s and use his college eligibility to come save their team...this idea was so inspiring that Florida State would basically do the same thing with Chris Weinke. also it features Sinbad.

8. Brian's Song- the movie that makes all grown men cry.

9. Varsity Blues- one of my all time guilty pleasures.

10. The Program- although it's totally dated and kinda lame, it's also one of the most realistic movies ever about all the shady shit that goes on at big time college football programs.

also i would like to note that Rudy fucking sucks my balls.

reposted here from my new pointless blog http://makinglists.blogspot.com

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Superman 'Dat Hoe

Dwight Howard got his dunk title finally after getting robbed last year. The NBA All Star game is pretty much the only thing the NBA does that i still have any interest in.

hre are some highlights from our evil masters.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Getting Rid Of The Fat

So Atlanta began the purging of overpaid players with salary cap killing contracts today by releasing quarterback Byron Leftwich, pro-bowl tight end Alge Crumpler, tackle Wayne Gandy, and defensive linemen Rod Coleman...as well as a couple of other dudes nobody gives a shit about. with any luck this list will grow to include Keith Brooking and Warrick Dunn after the draft. all in all this is the move in the right direction for a team that desperately needs to start all over following the Vick disaster.

Enjoying the Misery Of Others

so yeah, i still feel shitty about how awesome Alabama's recruiting class was compared to Auburn's. i've spent so many years now not really worrying about Alabama and directing all my hate towards Georgia and LSU that i am completely out of practice hating the Tide. so i decided to post this as a way of making myself feel better. we'll just completely ignore the fact that Auburn also lost to Mississippi State AT HOME this same season.

CROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day Auburn Fans

Love and Sports

top 5 most loved athletes by ME during my life.

1. Bo Jackson- the man, the myth, the legend, the reason i root for Auburn and still have a soft spot in my heart for the Royals and Raiders. greatest athlete of all time. career cut short is a perfect example of why it sucks to be me as a sports fan. no matter how awesome the team or player you root for is, you know it's all gonna end in tears.

2. Dale Murphy- the only good player on the Braves during the 80s. my first real sports hero. won 2 mvps and was one of the best players of the 80s, but will never see the hall of fame because he never hit 500 homeruns or won any world series. and he didn't play in new york...which automatically gets you into the hall. a fucking shame.

3. Charles Barkley- greatest Auburn basketball player ever, not to mention one of the greatest players in NBA history, not to mention a funny motherfucker who sucks at golf and gambles all his money away. as much as i always hated Jordan, i equally loved Chuck.

4. John Smoltz- greatest Brave of all time....not named Hank Aaron. Glavine and Maddux may have more wins, but it's Smoltz that i always loved to watch pitch because he was such a badass.

5. Larry Bird- greatest white dude ever in the sport of basketball. i think that earns him a spot on my list. being as that i am a white dude who used to love basketball. not trying to be racial or anything, but it's hard not to root for a guy who looks kinda like your friends dad playing in the NBA and schooling motherfuckers.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

This One Goes Out To Roger Clemens

Clemens is such a douche. i hope that fucker goes down.

"Athlete" Of The Day

fuck Roger Clemens. it's all about Uno the Beagle today. he was the first ever Beagle to win the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. and he's a straight pimp. look at that cute little fucker.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Dreaming Of A Virtual National Title For Next Season

as it stands i am on my 5th season of Auburn football on playstation 2's version of NCAA Football 2007. i've won 4 national titles, have had the number one recruiting class 3 straight years, and had my entire offense line be named All American 5 years running, not to mention all the many awards and trophies accumulated by my skill position players over the years, including 3 Heisman trophy winning running backs in Kenny Irons, Brad Lester, and Ben Tate. but it's time for an upgrade in both game and system. i've gotten 2 good years out of NCAA 07 and 6 good years outta my PS2, but my plan for next football season is to get the XBOX 360 and NCAA Football 2009 where i'll try and lead a young Auburn team to another string of national titles. i look forward to torching the field with the new look Tigers' spread offense and racking up both rushing and passing yards with virtual QB Kodi Burns in his first year as Auburn's starter. if i can get the sorta production out of Kodi as i have with former Video game favorites Pat White and Dennis Dixon then a Heisman trophy seems likely. the main impact players will be Tray Blackmon, Brad Lester, Mario Fannin, and Kodi Burns.

anyways to make the nerdiness of this blog go up next college football season i plan on covering the fake world of videogame college football and all the exagerated stats (like 50 touchdowns passing and 30 rushing...by a QB and 90 point blowouts against SEC rivals).

and YES, i did just write a post about the video game version of my favorite college football team and what i plan on doing with them next season.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

fuck it

The Name Game

thank god the good old US of A doesn't have the strict naming laws of Denmark or else we'd be without many of these great additions to next year's college football landscape.

THE SEC INCOMING FRESHMAN (if they actually qualify) ALL NAME TEAM

offense
QB Star Jackson BAMA
RB De'Anthony Curtis Arkansas
RB Onterrio McCalebb Auburn
WR Jhyryn Taylor LSU
WR Destin Hood BAMA
TE Nelson Hurst Miss St
OL Dax Dellenbach Auburn
OL Freddie Smooth Auburn
OL Osaze Idumwonyi Kentucky
OL Austin Eoff Arkansas
OL Cordian Hagans LSU

defense
DL Undra Billingsley BAMA
DL Lavunce Askew Arkansas
DL Templeton Hardy Miss St
DL Johnell Thomas Vandy
LB Herman Lathers Tennessee
LB Lerentee McCray Florida
LB Lekenwic Haynes Ole' Miss
DB Bacarri Rambo UGA
DB Khiry Battle Arkansas
DB Neiko Lipscomb Auburn
DB Mike Hunt Miss St.

our De'Cody Fagg winner for name of the year: Bacarri Rambo. how fucking awesome will it be for Dawgs fans when Rambo is out on the field hacking wide receivers arms off with a machete or blowing up QB's with his exploding arrows?!

Friday, February 8, 2008

More Haterade

i'm currently going through football detox at the moment, and with my lack in interest of anything sporting until March, i have a lot of time on my hands and not much to write about (save the pathetic state of Auburn's recruiting class when compared to Alabama and Georgia's). so it's time i put forth another list. i love lists. America loves lists. VH1 has managed to become a network based soley on lists and nostalgia. anyway, lists rule. and so do polls...because polls are basically lists made by sports writers of teams who they think iz rulez. so i will begin countering that with my own list of the top 25 sports teams i fucking hate. we'll call it the Go Fuck Yourself poll.

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS GO FUCKYOURSELF 25
1. Georgia Bulldogs
2. RedSox
3. New York Yankees
4. Notre Dame Football
5. New England Patriots
6. Chargers
7. Dallas Cowboys
8. Ohio State
9. New York Mets
10. Lakers
11. Duke Basketball
12. New York Giants
13. Phillies
14. Michigan Wolverines
15. Oklahoma (only because of Bob Stoops)
16. Florida State
17. Cubs
18. New York Knicks
19. Florida Gators
20. BAMA
21. LSU
22. Tampa Bay Bucs
23. Philly Eagles
24. Italy in the World Cup
25. Tennessee Vols

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Drinking the Haterade

okay, signing day has come and gone...and unless Auburn secretly recruited Terrell Pryor without anyone knowing about it, then disappointment has got to be my word of the day. and so i think it's time to make myself feel better by reflecting on the top 10 moments of Joy being taken in the misery of others from the 2007 NFL and NCAA football seasons.

10. Oklahoma gets BLOWN THE FUCK OUT by West Fucking Virginia in the Fiesta Bowl. Oklahoma might wanna just pass on any more invitations to go play in the desert. nothing good can come of it. a coachless WV went playstation crazy on the Sooners and scored 48 points, leaving Bob Stoops wondering what the fuck is up with his team in BCS bowls. i think Noel Devine just scored another touchdown.

9. Arkansas goes Hawgwild on LSU. this defeat didn't really end up mattering much in the long run, but for a brief moment all my talk of LSU being totally overrated rang true as Darren McFadden and Arkansas shattered LSU's dreams of a National Title for at least a couple of weeks.

8. Tony Romo chokes on another dick in the playoffs. 2 years in a row and the Cowboys can blame their playoff loss on their overrated QB. T.O. is left in tears. Romo blows. fuck the Cowboys.

7. Stanford over USC. i don't really hate the Trojans, i mean they kicked Auburn's ass twice in '02 and '03...i'm not one of those people who is stupid enough to believe the '04 Tigers would have faired any better but it's always nice to see the big kid on the block get punched in the fucking balls by a nerd now and again. biggest upset in college history, you tell me.

6. Alabama loses to something called the Warhawks. obviously this doesn't hurt things like recruiting.

5. Auburn beats Florida for the second year in a row. Wes Byrum drinks for free. chomp gator chomp.

4. Michigan's two week stretch of losing to Appalachian State and then getting blown out by Oregon. those games pretty much set the tone for the bananas college football season to come. and it's always good to watch Big 10 fans suffer.

3. the entire Notre Dame season was a joy to behold. 3-9 will always be something i'll look back to fondly. but the penacle was them losing to NAVY. Mark May probably almost exploded with joy when that happened.

2. Ohio State loses ANOTHER national title game in blowout fashion to the SEC. the Big 10 in general was pathetic this year, but nothing gives me more joy than watching Ohio State lose to an SEC school and then turn around and watch all the Big 10 homers at ESPN have to eat their words.

1. 18-1. Thank You Giants.

Signing Day Results

The 2008 Auburn Tiger Class

5 STARS
Raven Gray DE 6-4 260 4.6 6.1 Wesson, MS
Jermaine Johnson OL 6-6 309 - 6.1 Chatham, VA

4 STARS
T'Sharvan Bell ATH 6-0 169 4.47 5.8 Kissimmee, FL
DeRon Furr ATH 6-3 212 4.52 5.8 Columbus, GA
Cameron Henderson DE 6-5 240 4.7 5.8 Birmingham, AL
Onterrio McCalebb RB 5-10 154 4.4 5.8 Fort Meade, FL

3 STARS
Darvin Adams WR 6-2 181 4.55 5.7 Kennesaw, GA
Harry Adams WR 6-0 175 4.3 5.7 Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Reggie Hunt RB 5-10 180 4.4 5.7 Daphne, AL
Marcus Jemison ATH 6-2 190 4.56 5.7 McCalla, AL
Neiko Lipscomb DB 6-2 175 4.4 5.7 Tucker, GA
Philip Pierre-Louis ATH 5-10 175 4.4 5.7 Fort Lauderdale, FL
Eric Smith RB 5-10 239 - 5.7 Seffner, FL
Freddie Smooth OL 6-5 300 - 5.7 Baton Rouge, LA
Jomarcus Savage DT 6-2 260 4.6 5.6 Huntsville, AL
Christian Thompson DB 6-1 195 4.6 5.6 Fort Lauderdale, FL
Drew Cole DB 6-0 180 4.41 5.5 Picayune, MS
D'Antoine Hood DB 5-9 185 4.45 5.5 Phenix City, AL
Vance Smith TE 6-4 245 4.8 5.5 Pace, FL
Chris Todd QB 6-2 220 4.7 5.5 Hutchinson, KS
Barrett Trotter QB 6-2 193 4.81 5.5 Birmingham, AL
Andre Wadley DE 6-2 245 4.88 5.5 Hernando, MS

2 STARS
Ken Adams TE 6-4 217 4.65 5.4 Enterprise, AL
Spencer Pybus LB 6-1 200 4.55 5.4 Dothan, AL
Derek Winter WR 6-0 178 - 5.4 Tampa, FL
Dax Dellenbach OL 6-1 220 - 5.2 Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Derrick Lykes DE 6-4 274 4.7 5.2 Clanton, AL
Dashaun Barnes LB 6-2 230 - 4.9 Tallahassee, FL

so Auburn lost out on 3 of their biggest recruits, but ends up a respectable 20th in the nation in recruiting...which stings a little after having a top 10 class last year. the Tigers grab 3 QBs...a position that desperately needs some depth and talent. they also pull in 3 running backs and 3 wide receivers...areas that Auburn already has good talent at but can always use more depth. my guess is that all those kids will be redshirting next year. and then they pulled in several defensive backs with good 40 times. the player i'm most intrigued about in this class has got to be DeRon Furr. he's a 6'3" highschool QB with a 4.5 forty time, which makes him an ideal canidate to either run this new spread offense or possibly play some wide receiver or tight end. Auburn has him listed as an athlete so it remains to be seen where he ends up playing, but the video i've watched of this kid makes him look better than last years freshman QB Kodi Burns. more than likely Furr is gonna redshirt, so it may be a few years before we know what he can do. all in all it's not really the kind of recruiting class to get you that excited, it really feels more like this class is just adding depth and i wouldn't expect any of these kids to see major time next year other than Raven Gray and Jermaine Johnson and then the junior college transfer QB Chris Todd...who may very well end up being Auburn's starting QB next year if Burns falters.

okay, that's the sugarcoated version of what happened. the real deal rolls out that Alabama fucking kicked Auburn's ass in recruiting this year. beating Auburn head to head for 7 players including all the top players in the state. WTF?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Roll Tide, Indeed

well Fuck! Alabama lands the #1 recruting class in the nation (that doesn't count as a national title, Tide fans). that Nick Saban guy might have a future just yet. Notre Dame finishes number 2 and Florida rolls in at number 3. Auburn finds themselves dropping all the way to 20, no thanks to Enrique Davis who will be playing for Houston Nutt and Ole' Miss. Such mighty powerhouses as Minnesotta, Texas A&M, and Colorado beat the Tigers. all of this means fuck all really, the kids can either play or they can't. but you gotta feel like Alabama is definently back, as a Tiger fan let's hope all those 4 and 5 stars also come with serious baggage, discipline problems, and the desire to transfer suddenly and without warning.

if you can't beat 'em on the field, then beat 'em off it

Alabama is currently CRUSHING Auburn today in recruiting. Bama just landed Mr. Everything Wide Receiver and "Next Calvin Johnson" Julio Jones. let's hope he doesn't live up to all that hype. Auburn better make it 7 in a row this year and then hope Saban gets tired of this Alabama shit and splits town, because anymore recruiting smackdowns like this and Auburn might be on the end of some losing streaks of their own.

some BAMA fan made a top prospects youtube video. enjoy your future MB.

Signing Day Insanity

the college football universe is waiting with baited breath at the decisions of highschool seniors on what teams they will be letting down after coming in with insane hype and more stars than the milky way. Uber-Recruit Terrell Pryor is most likely not gonna make a commitment today, as he has not yet had his fill or booze and pussy being shoved in his face. the biggest pieces today will be Julio Jones and Darrell Scott...although don't be surprised if everybody just signs with USC at the last second. Pete Carroll stock piles 5 star recruits like your average Montana militia stockpiles weapons for the coming race wars.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Berman Going Apeshit

everyone and their mom has seen this. but i just like to watch it on a daily basis, so i'm reposting it here for quick reference.

Final Countdown to Motherfucking Signing Day

it's the day before the most important day of the college football year, besides rivalry weekend and New Years. where's Terrell Pryor going? is Julio Jones sticking with Bama? is Florida gonna end up with the number one recruiting class again? will Auburn be able to lure back Enrique Davis? so many questions. and apparently there is some voting going on today as well. just thought you might wanna know.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Carl sums it up

How Many Kids Who Were Born In New York Today Do You Think Are Being Named Tyree?

after making one of the top 5 greatest cathes in NFL History, David Tyree went from random ass wide receiver on the Giants squad to Legend with one play. it must be pretty awesome to be him right now. i hope Eli bought him a fucking pony after last night.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Eli!!!! Holy Fucking Shit!

if i never watched another football game again for the rest of my life, i'm not sure i'd see one as fucking amazing as this one. (okay that's totally bullshit because the USC/Texas National Title was the best game ever) but seriously, what can you even say? that play Eli made where he escaped the sack and threw a completion to David Tyree might be the most amazing play i have ever seen in a game in my whole life.

The Patriots continue the tradition set by the '05 USC Trojans of being named the greatest team of all time by ESPN before the championship game and then getting beaten. 18-1 has gotta fucking sting like hell for a team with such a fucking huge ego. honestly i had zero rooting interest in this game. i hate the Giants under most any other circumstance, but you gotta root for Eli against THE ROAD TO PERFECTION. The Patriots go down as the team that choked. Brady loses some of his shine. Amazing. Awesome. Best Super Bowl ever. Holy Fucking Shit!

oh yeah...Bill Belichick is a classless douchebag. Eat a Dick you charmless asshole. Karma is a bitch, motherfucker!

ELI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's so Super About The Super Bowl?

ugggh the Fox coverage of this Superbowl is beyond annoying. we've got Ryan Seacrest doing some kind of red carpet bullshit, we've got alicia keys in snow leopard pants with back up dancers. Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta are here, and no not for a Pulp Fiction reunion. if i see another fucking Jumper promo then i am gonna go jum off my roof. getting excited about the Super Bowl commercials is quiet possibly the lamest thing possible. i'm already sick of this game and it's still an hour away. fuck this shit.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

the kids don't stand a chance

the Super Bowl is tomorrow, and nobody cares...except ESPN, Patriots fans, and a few New Yorkers who have false hope that the Giants could win. what an afterthought to a pretty lousy year of football. if anything the anticlimax of both and NFL and College post-seasons has reminded me that i used to have other interests namely movies and music. and so with the Oscar's rushing down upon us i have decided to post my top 10 movies of 2007.

1. No Country For Old Men- bleak as fuck. unrelenting. violent. best movie villian since Darth Vader. the Cohen’s are at the top of their game. this better win best picture.

2. Control- the best musical biopic ever. looks amazing. wonderfully acted. emotional. reminded me why Joy Division is one of my favorite bands of all time.

3. There Will Be Blood- Daniel Day Lewis gives the best acting performance of the year. it seems obvious that he’ll be walking away with the best actor Oscar. Paul Dano is great as the creepy preacher. and PT Anderson makes Oil and Religion at the turn of the century into some interesting ass shit to watch on film.

4. The Darjeeling Limited- Wes Anderson has been making the same movie over and over again. he’s basically become the new Woody Allen. great soundtrack. Adrian Brody is the man. plus Natalie Portman’s ass. what’s not to love?

5. Zodiac- i love serial killer movies when they are done well and despite the fact that you KNOW they aren’t gonna catch the killer this still ended up being the best suspense movie of the year. too bad it came out back at the beginning of the summer and got completely forgotten during awards season.

6. Knocked Up/Superbad- i hate to lump these together, but they really are kindred spirits…and not just because it was the year of Jud. these movies are both basically about the same thing. growing up fucking sucks, but it sure as shit can be made funny with enough dick and fart jokes.

7. Juno- i’ll go ahead and call it the worlds first twee pop movie. it was so fucking precious that Kindercore shoulda put out the goddamn soundtrack. Dan and Ryan, you guys fucked up. i thought it was cute and funny and not at all worthy of all these Oscar nominations it’s getting. we’ll call it the Little Miss Sunshine effect. i fully expect a cute little feel good indie to get nominated the next few years until the genre is tired and old. it’s actually kind of funny to me that the only movie nominated for best picture this year that isn’t bleak as hell is the little indie movie. i guess the times are a changin’.

8. Grindhouse- the most fun i had at a movie all year. the fact that it bombed proves how fucking stupid everyone has gotten in America. the fact that these were broken up into two seperate movies for DVD and without the fake trailers is a crime against movie fans.

9. Hotfuzz- lampoons and also pays homage to one of the greatest genre’s of all time, the buddycop movie and ends up being a pretty awesome movie all the same.

10. 30 Days of Night- best vampire movie since Lost Boys. gory as fuck. totally ruled.

honorable mentions- Wristcutters: A Love Story, 3:10 to Yuma, Eagle vs Shark, and Sunshine (best Sci-Fi movie of the year)

Friday, February 1, 2008

Party On Dude

Super Bowl Sunday is nearly here. i'll be gettin' my drank and my eat on with the Bamarealist and his guests, running sidebets with Kenny, listening to jeff's dick jokes, and hopefully enjoying a close football game. since i don't give a fuck who actually wins i've decided to play a game of chance. if the Giants win the Super Bowl then i am shaving off my beard. also i am giving up fast food for 2 months. other than that i really could give a shit. my predicition, Patriots 38 Giants 20. Brady MVP with 3 touchdowns, 1 to Moss, 2 to Welker. perfect season. greatest team ever. blah blah blah