ESPN is about to totally fuck up College Gameday

WOW. BIG RUMORS about the fate of everyone's favorite way to start their college football Saturdays as the cast of Gameday is about to get an overhall. apparently Lee Corso and Chris Fowler are about to get replaced by Lou Holtz (DR LOU!!!) and Karl Ravech (huh?) and the Herbiebot is moving strictly to the prime time announcing gig. i shed no tears for the demise of Lee Corso and god knows i hate the Herbiebot, but i don't really get the Fowler thing...he's probably one of the best hosts ESPN has. i assume they decided if they are gonna replace 1 guy then why not replace them all. it's odd that ESPN would fuck around with one of their most successful shows, but then again this is ESPN who obviously doesn't understand what the fans like and don't like. i'd rather see Reece Davis replace Fowler than a guy who does Baseball Tonight...but whatever, my main concern would be what lame former jock they are gonna replace their Golden Boy Herbiebot with. NO JESSE PALMER!!!

Where am i supposed to get my shameless USC cheerleading and my Big 10/Ohio State bias/homerism from? another question, who is Mark May gonna pick on without Dr. Lou around?

in Auburn-ish news, Tommy Tuberville is replacing Bob Davie. thank god. now if only ESPN would get rid of Kornheiser, Berman, & Morgan then maybe the old wounds would finally heal.

Braves & Hawks doing asskickings the right way

the Atlanta Braves & Hawks capped off my weekend for me yesterday with thorough beatdowns of the Miami Heat and Pittsburgh Pirates respectively...and for that i give them both shout outs.


The Braves desperately needed a win to end their 5 game slide and i was happy to see the bats come alive for an 11-1 victory. avoiding a sweep by the Pirates might just be the thing to get this team back on a roll, also Esobar should be returning from his injury today. now the Braves are off the start a series against the worst team in baseball, the Washington Nationals, and hopefully make up some ground in the NL East.


even more impressive were the Hawks who just straight out murdered the Miami Heat in the opening game of their 1st round playoff match up. this one was over by the 1st half as Atlanta jumped out to a 20 point lead and then just ran away with it for a final of 90-64. all the starters had good games and Josh Smith just dominated with dunk after dunk. the defense was awesome and they held Dwayne Wade to only 19. if Atlanta plays like this you gotta like their chances of making this a quick series.

Watch Out Cobra, The Fridge Is Coming Through

being a child of the 1980s meant that i had 2 loves...GI JOE and the 1985 Chicago Bears. thankfully someone was smart enough to combine them both. William "The Refrigerator" Perry wasn't just a big fatass defensive tackle who stole Walter Peyton's touchdown in the Super Bowl...we was also a member of the United States' Elite Fighting Force. Yo Joe indeed.

man i loved the GI Joe mail away figures. pure marketing genius.

Top 3 Runningbacks In The Nation Are All High On The Tigers

Auburn By Beaver (best Auburnblog name) is saying that the Top 3 Runningback recruits in the nation (Marcus Lattimore, Lache Seastrunk, & Michael Dyer) ALL have Auburn as their number 1 school. now it seems unlikely that three 5 Star runningbacks will all pick the Tigers but it's hard to believe at least 1 of these kids won't be calling the Plains their home next season. Lattimore and Seastrunk apparently were comparing notes on their trips to Auburn and i think a lot of us out there have visions of a Cadillac Williams/Ronnie Brown part 2 if we can land them both.

i've posted Seastrunk's highlights before. here's some video on Dyer and Lattimore.

Marcus Lattimore


Michael Dyer

A-Day Highlights

a poorly soundtracked game overview.


Ben Tate's long touchdown run


Onterio McCalleb's 70 yarder


Neil Caudle TD drive


and TrackEmTigers has a collection of inteviews collected from other Auburn blogs here.

Some Quick Thoughts following the Auburn Spring Game

The Good:

The runningbacks were the obvious stars of the game with several huge runs and touchdowns. After last years indecisiveness it was refreshing to watch the backs hitting the holes and bursting through the line. Ben Tate set the tone for the day with his 40+ TD run on the 1st drive and Onterio McCalleb stole the show with his 70 yard touchdown run. If Auburn is planning on using Tate as their everydown back to pound it out and then throw in Lil' O (yeah I'm calling it now...that's my uncreative nickname) to melt people's faces off with his supersonic speed then 2009 could be a happy time for Auburn fans who heart the running game. It's hard to imagine potential runningback recruits not being excited by what they saw.

Also i'd like to think anyone who had their doubts about a run first spread offense might hold their tongue til the season actually gets started. Fannin also looked good running and catching the ball, I know we all wanna see him become Auburn's feature back, but if he's a more dangerous weapon at H Back then I'm ok with it. I just wanna see him making plays somewhere.

The other positive from the game was the performance of wideout Darvin Adams. Hopefully he can emerge as the playmaker the Tigers have been missing since Courtney Taylor left town.

The Bad:

I really hope the running game can be as dominant as it looked to day because the passing game looks just as disastrous as it was last year. Outside of Adams, the wideouts were the same useless collection of players that couldn't hold on to the ball or make plays. I'm assuming DeAngelo Benton & Emory Blake should have no trouble coming in and getting immediate playing time. I still think Billings and Hawthorne can be playmakers and I've got hope for Terrell Zachery and Piere-Louis and then of course Fannin is obviously one of the better receivers we have no matter what position he's playing...but everyone else, well wake me up when they are ready to show something...

...then again it's hard to know if we do have any playmakers at receiver when the QBs play like that. Neil Caudle had the far better stats and made much better throws and if you were gonna put me in charge of the decision to name a starter then it's a no brainer, go with Caudle...but I wasn't blown away. Kodi is starting to feel like a lost cause. It makes me sad, there was so much hope for this kid and I've been one of his biggest cheerleaders and during the homecoming & Georgia games last year I felt like Burns was really starting to put it together but when you go out and put up a performance like he did today (3-8 for 48 yards) against a secondary that was filled with backups and walk ons...well it's time to start abandoning the bandwagon. I know that the coaches aren't gonna name a QB until the fall, and I understand based on what we saw today, but I'm finding it increasingly unlikely that Kodi Burns is going to ever become the guy we wish he was.

The scary thing is that Auburn may soon find themselves in some serious trouble at QB if Burns decides he's had enough and transfers if he doesn't get to start because Barrett Trotter is done for the year with a torn ACL & Chris Todd is of course still a 1 armed man. Yeah that was a really fucking smart idea to let the defense hit the QBs in practice!?! So with Trotter done, Todd crippled, & possibly Burns bolting, Auburn could find itself with 2 true freshmen as the backups next season and that's assuming Tyrik Rollison qualifies and Clint Mosely doesn't decide to go play pro baseball if he's drafted high enough. But that's probably just the part of my brain that is obsessed with the worst case scenario talking...I hope.

in Burns defense the running game seemed to score quickly and easily with him at QB so he had less chances to throw the ball and his stats were largely hurt because of drops by receivers. still his passes looked ugly and his only long play was due mostly to Fannin's heads up catch after Kodi's pass was deflected.

The Ugly:

The defense might as well have stayed in bed, I mean I'm grateful for the chance to see how fast our runningbacks could all go...but that was ridiculous. I know injuries were affecting the DBs and the DLine but a lot of those runs were because the backs weren't even being tagged. That coulda been flag football and Lil' O's 70 yarder would've been on the board. I'm gonna assume the the defense will be it's normal lethal self by the time the season rolls around but as of right now I am a little worried.

All in all it was an entertaining game (sure beat the UGA & Bama snorfests) and I think Auburn fans have a few things to feel optimistic about for the 2009 Season. War Eagle!

Have Fun At The A-Day Game Tomorrow Kids

to everyone going to the A-Day game tomorrow...I AM JEALOUS. after sitting through the snorfest last Saturday here in Athens i was really looking forward to checking out my Auburn Tigers in action. instead i'll be stuck here in Athens forced to watch the game on CSS.

the buzzword for this year's Spring Game is INJURY. as in all the players are hurt. QB might be especially effected because apparently Barrett Trotter and Neil Caudle both got hurt in practice yesterday so it might be Kodi Burns getting to play ALL-TIME QB (a position that i ruled at as a kid when forced to play football with my little brother and all his friends. i assume that all my passing records still stand in the Evanston Neighborhood Football League...if anyone can verify this for me then let a brother know). i'd also assume that if Kodi is in fact the only QB that plays in the Spring Game then he's got be able to put some distance between himself at Neil Caudle, but that isn't likely to happen as Coach Chizik has already stated that Auburn doesn't plan to name a starter until the Fall...something that i am reading as: WE ARE WAITING UNTIL TYRIK ROLLISON GETS HERE AND HOPING HE CAN BEAT ALL THESE SCRUBS OUT.

apparently there's some walk-on kid named Brent Poole that might see some time at QB during the A-Day game as well. why not just throw Mario Fannin back there? i mean the kid is already playing everywhere else.

enjoy the game tomorrow if you are going, take some notes and feed me your opinions. you are my eyes and ears. War Eagle!
---------------------------------------
non Auburn related:

i've discovered a new blog to be obsessed with for a few weeks called Look At This Fucking Hipster, i'm also 100% sure that someone is going to post a picture of me on there as well.

and finally someone somewhere is making my dreams into reality.


have a good weekend.

After Ruining Nebraska Football, Music Was The Obvious Next Career Move

the 2008 Winner for album title i wish i'd thought up belongs to Bill Callahan for his new record, Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle. the album cover ain't that bad either.

no this isn't really THAT Bill Callahan...it's instead the former frontman of the group Smog...but we can still pretend that the former Nebraska coach gave up on confusing college kids with his overly complex version of the West Coast offense and instead recorded a mellow indie rock record to bear his soul to the world.

Matt Stafford Is 100% More Likely To Be A Detriot Lion After They Saw This Footage

so former UGA quarterback and likely number 1 pick in the NFL draft was on Jimmy Fallon's crappy show last night and gave us an impressive display of his arm accuracy and plate breaking ability.

check it



so if this NFL thing doesn't work out for Stafford he could always have a career as a carny.

i honestly will root for this kid once he gets to the NFL...i only hate Georgia players while they are in college, once anybody from the SEC makes it into the NFL i am always a fan...other than Peyton, i don't root for frakking Cylons.

Positive Vibes Friday: The Stones' Deep Cuts

It's friday, the weather is perfect, and I ain't got shit to do. A good day for drinking beer and hanging out while I listen to my top 25 Rolling Stones deep cuts.

ROLLING STONES DEEP CUTS

ESPN blog buzz

Am I the only one who finds this to be the most annoying new feature on Sportscenter?

ESPN recapping what's HOT on the blogosphere = another useless waste of the airtime that could have been dedicated to...I don't know, actual fucking highlights. You know, that thing you assholes abandoned a decade ago.

That being said...feature my shitty blog whenever you want. I'm a whore for page hits.

Braves get swept by the Fish

so much for all that optimism i had last week.

so the Braves are now 5-4 and the Marlins are 8-1. damn it! it was bad enough having to worry about the Phillies and the Mets...looks like the Braves could be having another 70 win season.

3 things i learned this past week...

1. much like in the 90s, the Braves' bullpen is the SUCK. Atlanta might as well move one of their starters back to the pen and call up Tommy Hanson now.

2. Garrett Anderson doesn't wanna be in Atlanta and he's not gonna produce this year, they should've spent that money on a closer and just went with Matt Diaz.

3. Jordan Shafer needs to be hitting higher in the lineup.

ALSO: i heard on the radio that Tom Glavine hit another setback in his attempt to pitch this season. his shoulder is causing him a ton of pain and it's looking more and more like he's going to retire soon.

5 quick thoughts about Auburn's Spring Practices

1. if all things are even at the QB position after Saturday's A-Day game then i think they have to go with Kodi, or else he's probably gonna transfer. in the Fall when Rollison gets to campus and assuming Chris Todd still has an arm, then maybe you open it back up...but unless Caudle truly beats Burns out then i say it's Kodi all the way.


2. Mario Fannin needs 1 damn position. i know that Ben Tate and Onterio McCalebb have both had great Springs...so i don't fault the offense for going with those two as Auburn's main backs this season, but if Fannin isn't gonna be in the RB equation then he needs to be made a receiver full time...maybe even a tight end thanks to his added bulk...but i think everyone would rather see him at tailback. or maybe he doesn't...what the fuck do i know?


3. speaking of tailbacks...who the fuck is Justin Albert and why is a walk-on making his way into the runningback rotation?


4. Tim Hawthorne is finally gonna become a playmaker for Auburn. i have a feeling about this based solely on how awesome he is on NCAA Football 2009 (he just pulled in 2000 receiving yards and 18 touchdowns on my last Dynasty season) and not on actual reality.

5. i'm sad i'm not going to the game this weekend.

John Madden Wants No Part Of This New Favre-less NFL

It happened. John Madden actually retired. a life without BOOM! in the NFL starts today. and i was so looking forward to seeing John Madden have to talk about something else besides Brett Favre. i can only assume that NBC will replace him with Chris Collinsworth thereby making their Sunday Night Football In America or whatever the fuck it's called 250% better. i assume i'll still be haunted be Madden's pointless drivel in video game form until he eventually shuffles off this mortal coil.

now if only Chris Berman would take his lead.

Auburn Spring Game Scoring System Makes My Head All Hurting

so from the SUPER SECRET AUBURN SPRING PRACTICES OF GENE CHIZIK comes the Auburn Spring Game scoring system.

via the Goldmine.

The offense will get 6 points for a touchdown, 3 points for a field goal, 2 points for an ``explosive play'' (15 yards or more), 2 points for three consecutive first downs; and 1 point for a kick conversion.

The defense will get 7 points for a touchdown, 5 points for a turnover, 4 points for a sack, 3 points for a blocked field goal, 2 points for three-and-outs, 2 points for a tackle-for-a-loss and 1 point for a blocked PAT.

that's more confusing and convoluted than my fucking fantasy league!

It's NBA playoff time! that means i'm gonna pay attention to the Hawks for a bit.

so the NBA playoffs are about to get underway shortly and Atlanta has earned themselves the number 4 seed in the East and a home series. everyone who thought the Hawks playoff birth last season was a fluke (you can count me in that group) was totally wrong. yeah the Eastern Conference kinda sucks after the top 3 teams, but Atlanta has been pretty consistent all year and has beaten some of the best teams in the NBA. unfortunately their opponent in the 1st round is the Miami Heat lead by Dwayne Wade who has been on fire all season following his awesome performance in the Olympics. i'm gonna go out on a limb and assume everyone is gonna disrespect the Hawks and pick the Heat to win this series. i'm just hoping that Atlanta can bring the same kind of energy during this series that they did last year vs. Boston (considering Atlanta was the only team that seriously challenged the eventual champs).

Zaza is fucking pumped, and you should be too.

WAR EAGLE DUNKS

Nike let's you design your own shoe on their website, these are my Auburn inspired Dunks that i'm thinking about getting.

Check out the
Nike Dunk High iD Shoe
I designed at NIKEiD.com

2009 Falcons Schedule is a fucking Monster

so following the Atlanta Falcons 2007 season of misery was last year's season of miracles. we've finally got a franchise QB (who doesn't appear to be an idiot) and a solid general manager and head coach in place and things are looking up for the Falcons and with a little bit of help on defense and a strong draft, i was actually starting to believe Atlanta might even be looking at a run to the Super Bowl next year...and then i saw their schedule for next season. they play the entire NFC and AFC east which is loaded with playoff caliber teams (not to mention the NFC South is already one of the 3 toughest divisions in football), they play 2 NFC teams that should all be improved (49ers & Bears), and they have a stretch of games from late October through the month of November that could very well kill any chances at Atlanta's playoff hopes. so let's do that really dumb thing that people like to do and try and figure out how Atlanta favors in these matchups.

Week 1: Sunday, Sept. 13 MIAMI DOLPHINS 1:00 p.m.

the Dolphins, much like Atlanta, came out of nowhere last season and were a playoff team lead by a good defense and one of the leagues best running games. offensively Atlanta holds an edge and the game is @ The Dome. i think Atlanta gets a win here.
1-0

Week 2: Sunday, Sept. 20 CAROLINA PANTHERS 1:00 p.m.

a game against the best team in the NFC South, the Falcons usually play the Panthers pretty good at home so i'll give them another win here.
2-0

Week 3: Sunday, Sept. 27 at New England Patriots 1:00 p.m.

ughhhh. at New England with Tom Brady back and 2 games under his belt, 2 games to shake off the cobwebs, 2 games to get back into a rhythm with Moss and Welker. LOSS.
2-1

Week 4: BYE WEEK

Week 5: Sunday, Oct. 11 at San Francisco 49ers 4:05 p.m.

the 49ers should be one of the more improved teams in the NFL this season (or at least that's what all the pre-season mags are gonna hype them as). this could be a statement game for the Niners against their old-school NFC West rival...luckily San Fran still doesn't have a QB. i'm thinking close win by the Falcons.
3-1

Week 6: Sunday, Oct. 18 CHICAGO BEARS 8:20 p.m.

The Bears have Cutler now and will be looking to avenge the miracle win the Falcons pulled off last year. plus it's a Monday night game. Atlanta isn't really known for stepping up to the plate during big games. LOSS.
3-2

Week 7: Sunday, Oct. 25 at Dallas Cowboys 4:15 p.m.

the beginning of Atlanta's brutal stretch of games. it's at Dallas which is trouble. unless The Falcons defense is greatly improved i am gonna call this one a loss.
3-3

Week 8: Monday, Nov. 2 at New Orleans Saints 8:30 p.m. ESPN

at the Saints for a rivalry game. LOSS.
3-4

Week 9: Sunday, Nov. 8 WASHINGTON REDSKINS 1:00 p.m.

The Redskins should be improved this season and will look to try and make a playoff push. this is Atlanta's only home game during November so they have to get a win or they are fucked. i'm calling a close victory.
4-4

Week 10: Sunday, Nov. 15 at Carolina Panthers 1:00 p.m.

the Panthers will probably be in 1st place and looking to separate themselves from Atlanta. LOSS.
4-5

Week 11: Sunday, Nov. 22 at N.Y. Giants 1:00 p.m.

on the Road vs one of the top 5 teams in the NFL. LOSS.
4-6

Week 12: Sunday, Nov. 29 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 1:00 p.m.

The Bucs are gonna suck this year, that being said they always fucking give Atlanta trouble, but i think the Falcons can take em. WIN.
5-6

Week 13: Sunday, Dec. 6 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 1:00 p.m.

at home vs a team that ALWAYS beats Atlanta. LOSS.
5-7

Week 14: Sunday, Dec. 13 NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 1:00 p.m.

at home vs. the rival Saints...both teams will be fighting for a playoff spot but i think Atlanta takes them at home.
6-7

Week 15: Sunday, Dec. 20 at N.Y. Jets 1:00 p.m.

@ The Jets...fucking hell, 2 trips to New York?! that blows. wait who is New York's QB? fuck the Jets, Atlanta gets a win.
7-7

Week 16: Sunday, Dec. 27 BUFFALO BILLS 1:00 p.m.

T.O. comes to town and wrecks to Falcons playoff hopes. LOSS.
7-8

Week 17: Sunday, Jan. 3 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1:00 p.m.

the Falcons will have to actually win a divisional game on the road to get to .500 for the year...luckily Tampa Bay will probably be one of the worst teams in the NFL next year and so the Falcons get a win to get to 8-8 on the year.
8-8

No Playoffs for Atlanta, No consecutive winning seasons for the 1st time ever. thanks a lot NFL.

random whiny anti-ESPN post

Not that anyone is unaware of ESPN's Northeastern bias...but when you lead the show with the Red Sox, Yankees, Celtics, UConn, Isiah Thomas (Knicks related), & the NY Giants schedule...well they aren't even bothering to hide it anymore. Why doesn't ESPN dedicate one of their 8 million channels to the rest of the country and turn ESPN to ESPN Northeast? Ugghh. Once baseball season starts my hatred for the WWL gets out of control.

so much for the Spring Game

i was planning on going to this years Spring game with my father but apparently the old man has some last second plans and now i've got noone to go with. oh well. i guess i can always just watch it on CSS.

and i was so looking forward to watching the duel of QB ineptitude play it live and in person.

also this is totally random, but someone might wanna tell Greg Paulus that the Greenbay Packers are not in the NBA.

Poor Mitch Mustain

being a person who roots for a team that lacks any 5 star recruit QBs it saddens and confuses me to learn that former Arkansas and current USC QB, Mitch Mustain has lost out on becoming the Trojans next starting QB to a true freshman and a less regarded 4 star recruit. everyone in the SEC is aware of the soap opera that went down in Arkansas during Mustain's freshman year that resulted in current Auburn OC, Gus Malzahn, bolting for Tulsa and several of his former highschool players leaving Arkansas as well...it also put into motion Houston Nutt leaving the school for Ole Miss. if Mustain had stayed at Arkansas it's likely that Nutt would probably still be there too and Arkansas would be considered one of the favorite in the SEC west this year. i remember thinking "Why the fuck did he do that?" when Mustain picked USC as the school he was gonna transfer to. he was already behind Mark Sanchez (who should be a senior for the Trojans this year) and they had a 4 star recruit in Aaron Corp already enrolled. i mean, why the hell didn't he go to Tulsa and run up huge numbers in Malzahn's offense? or go to a school in the Big East or Big 10 devoid of any QB talent. i wonder if Mustain will transfer 1 last time in an attempt to get 1 year as a starter under his belt or if he'll just ride the pine at USC and hope that people think he's gonna be the next Matt Cassell? either way it's kind of amazing to see a guy who was considered 1 of the top 3 QB recruits in the nation (with Tebow and Stafford) now just burried on a depth chart. let that be a warning sign to all of you college football fans who are obsessed with recruiting rankings.

maybe he and Emmanuel Moody should get together and go to some DIAA school and improve both of their chances of getting to the NFL.

2010 Recruiting Wishlist: Lache Seastrunk

this is Lache Seastrunk. he's the #1 runningback in the nation and he's at the top of Auburn's 2010 recruiting class wishlist. he vistited Auburn and called it "The best visit he's had his entire life"....so YAY!!! he likes Auburn....which means he's probably gonna play for LSU, or Florida, or Ole Miss, or Arkansas.

oh you know i was gonna drop his youtube mixtape on your ass. WARNING: this is soundtracked by one of the worst rap songs i have ever heard in my entire life. it rips off "I Ran" by Flock Of Seagulls.

Hey Athens, Dinosaur Jr is coming

just a quick reminder to the 30601, Dinosaur Jr is coming to town next week on 4/20, so blaze up and go get your face melted off by J. Mascis' powerful guitar solos.

at the .50 second mark the greatest guitar solo of all time kicks in. enjoy.

a random collection of thoughts and camera phone pictures from G Day 09

your friendly neighborhood Auburn blogger dressed in yellow because he pussed out and didn't wear Auburn gear. yes i always look like that. yes i always wear sunglasses.


First off it was a beautiful fucking day for some spring football. About 60 degrees, sunny, a little bit of wind, and perfect conditions. I can only hope it's like this next weekend at Auburn.

I really don't understand why ESPN chose to show the UGA spring game this year. It's not like Georgia is being thought of as a contender or anything...my only guess is that they plan on showing as many spring games as possible and the Dawgs were the only good candidates this weekend. Speaking of which, why the fuck does UGA think it's a good idea to have their Spring game during Master's weekend and during the Braves' first home opener? I mean it was an okay crowd, but there would've probably been about 20 thousand more people if they had it next weekend. Plus doing this Easter Weekend meant there were almost zero students at the game.

Thoughts about the actual game itself:
The Georgia QB situation doesn't look that much better than what Auburn has. Joe Cox is a noodle arm having Senior who I can't imagine holding on to the starting spot past the 1st two games. He had 1 good throw to AJ Green to start the game that my friend Jeff attributed to Green's ability to make Cox shitty throw seem like a good play by his superb athletic ability. Logan Gray didn't look any better, but the fact that he can run makes him seem like the lesser of two evils. Both of the true freshman were wildly inaccurate and Aaron Murray threw an ugly pick. So yeah...you can say that Stafford wasn't much of a leader all you want, but the Dawgs are gonna miss his ass.

The offense just looked awful in general...I mean either the defense got 80% better or the offense took a 50% slide down. None of the backs could do anything, the Qbs (like I said) were nothing to speak of, and the recievers were dropping everything. It was just an ugly performance all the way around. I know it's just a practice but all my Georgia loving friends seemed pretty down in the dumps about the Dawgs chances in 09.

the game was a series of turnovers and field goals and boring as hell.

The worst part of the day was when I thought I saw Erin Andrews and then raced down to the field for a better look only to discover it was just Wendy Nix. Booooooooo! Is that all we are good enough for ESPN? I guess if you only check her out from the back then Nix is packing a pretty cute ass...but come on, why can't you send a creepy blogger some Erin Andrews action to brighten up an otherwise dull Spring game? For shame Espn.

And so that was that. Next weekend I'll be in Auburn with my old man bitching and whining about the Tiger's team. holla at a brother if you gunna be there too. And pray it doesn't rain.

G Day live tweeting

I'm going to the UGA spring game tomorrow and I'm gonna attempt to do a lve twitter feed of the game @ http://twitter.com/jrsuicide. Yeah I'm a nerd. Follow me if you like, there will be lots of trash talking of the UGA football team and profanity.

Peace Out, Jack Elway

so much for the 2nd coming of John Elway...his son Jack has decided to quit football, after redshirting for a year at Arizona State. he was only a 2 star recruit by ESPN treated his commitment to the Sun Devils like he was a 5 star on Rivals.

let this be a warning to UGA and Bama in their current quests to land Joe Montana's kid.

other than having a legup on most other normal kids, having a famous dad would probably suck.

Robert Dunn is a rapper now

now going by the name DunnCity...former Auburn wideout/punt returner (and fellow native of the city of Augusta, GA) hath dropped this jam on the world. I wish him nothing but good luck in his musical career.

GOOSE AND PATRON - DUNNCITY

So What Do You Think Of The Pac 10?

over at Track Em Tigers a Cal football blogger posted a series of questions to the Auburn faithful to get an outside perspective of what we think about The Pac 10. i thought it was a pretty cool idea, getting people who have no rivalry or rooting interest against your school (Cal) and asking them for their own objective answers. so i decided I'd post his questions over here as well in case anybody else who doesn't read trackemtigers.com wanted to throw out their own answers.

I come to Tiger Territory because I am curious. Spending much of my time at www.californiagoldenblogs.com I feel I have become overwhelmed with certain left coast viewpoints. I thought I’d move east for some outside opinions. I am not here to talk trash, and I’m hoping for responses with more depth than S-E-C … S-E-C… Rah-rah-rah! After reviewing some of the SEC websites, I chose Auburn because you seem like a good bunch and are fairly level-headed. The following are some general questions I have about Pac-10 football, if you have an opinion or response, I’d love to hear it. Again, I’m not here to plug the Pac-10, or get into an internet fight, but rather to obtain an outside opinion. I just want to gage the general sentiment of the public over yonder, and don’t need thorough arguments supported by a series of statistics. If you are curious, my loyalties are with Cal. Also, if have questions you want to ask a left coaster feel free to ask. Oddly enough, I just read your new front page material and you already covered some of my questions.



East Coast Bias – I’d guess about a quarter of the regulars at Cal’s site fully believe in East Coast bias, particularly when it comes to recruiting rankings. The basic premise claims simple demographics (78% of the country’s population living in the eastern and central time zones) and geography (west coast time delay) leads to greater coverage and publicity for schools in the eastern and central time zones. The greater publicity and coverage leads to better preseason rankings, which contributes to a season long trend of higher than earned rankings, as the teams are more likely to face other ranks teams benefitting from the same east coast bias. Basically, extra coverage leads to higher ranking which leads to higher rankings throughout the conference, at the end of the season it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you believe there is some truth to the idea of East Coast bias, or do we just complain a lot?

Scheduling – I believe one of the strengths of the Pac-10 is their aggression in scheduling. I acknowledge that a school’s strength of schedule is a bit based on luck. The OOC games are generally set up a few years in advance, and team strength varies from year to year. For example, Cal played Michigan St. in 2002 and 2008, in 2002 Michigan St. was ranked #15, in 2008 they finished in the top 25, every year in between Mich. St. was a nobody and finished in the lower half of the Big-10, the fact they were a quality opponent the years we played them was luck. Generally, with exception to Notre Dame USCum only plays BCS conference teams. Cal has played Tennessee twice, Maryland, and Michigan St. with Colorado and Ohio St. on the schedule in the coming years. Oregon, Oregon St. UCLA, all have marquee OOC games this season, even Washington which stupidly scheduled LSU ensuring at least one Pac-10 embarrassment, schedules tough opponents. What does the SEC think of Pac-10 scheduling? Do we schedule big games because we have something to prove? Do you not really care what we do, unless it involves the SEC? Is it admirable, and more teams should play tougher games?

Perception of Pac-10 Teams - Without doing research, which Pac-10 schools would you rate as the 5 best over the past 5 years? Yes, I fully realize U$C has been the best.

Jahvid Best – I was recently youtubing while my girlfriend was packing for the airport, and someone made a video where they rank the Top 15 fastest players in college football. Jahvid Best was not on the list http://vimeo.com/2744979 I declared some serious shenanigans, I fully believe Best is the fastest player in college football, and I would think anyone that has seen him in space would acknowledge his speed as well. I also think that Best has the greatest chance to unseat the big 3 of Tebow, McCoy, and Bradford for the Heisman this year, however, I am a Cal homer with a tainted perception. My question, have you heard of Jahvid Best? Do you think if by some fluke Tebow, McCoy, and Bradford all went down with injury early, that he’d be the frontrunner for the Heisman? Doesn’t Best deserve to be on the list of fastest players in college football?

The Mountain West – Much was made of the Mountain West’s 5-2 record against the Pac-10, and deservedly so. Last year the Mountain West had some very good teams (Utah, TCU, BYU), the Pac-10 also had a down year, particularly the bottom half of the conference. The Pac-10 consistently plays the Mountain West because of simple geography, we are very much isolated on the West Coast. Unlike the SEC which has some overlap with the ACC, and Big-10 & 12 schools a modest distance away, our closest BCS conference team is Colorado, which is a two hour flight from the nearest Pac-10 school. My question is, what do you think of the Mountain West? I believe that the football conference hierarchy breaks down as follows Group 1: SEC, ACC, Pac-10, Big-12, Big-10 Group 2: Mountain West, Big East Group 3: Everyone else. Are they a flash in the pan? Are they a legitimate threat to overtake the Big East’s BCS bowl bid? Do the top teams in the league hide the fact that the league lacks depth?

Anyway, that’s all, as I said many times before, I’m just searching for a little outside perspective. Please, indulge me in your viewpoint.

My answers to each question were:

East Coast Bias: i think when it comes to pre-season rankings you can really call it traditional powerhouse bias…this is why teams like Michigan, Notre Dame, and Ohio State historically find themselves ranked for higher in the polls. but yeah the East Coast bias totally exists because that’s where all the news and media centers are.

Perception of Pac-10 Teams: i think most SEC fans think the pac 10 teams are soft other than USC, but if you look at which league turns out the most quality NFL players you’d have to say that the Pac 10 is right behind the SEC. if i was being objective then i’d say top to bottom that the Pac 10 is the 2nd best conference in college football…mostly because the Big 12 is too top heavy with Texas and Oklahoma and then after that there is a huge dropoff. with the Pac 10 you’ve got 1 top heavy team and then about 7 other schools with quality football programs. if i was to just blinding rank the Pac 10’s best teams over the past 5 years without really looking at records they would be:
1. USC
2. Oregon
3. Cal
4. Oregon State
5. Arizona State

Javid Best: i’ve only seen him play twice, he seems pretty f’ing fast…still when you are thinking about the FASTEST players in college football, the SEC is loaded with guys who run track and all you ever hear about anymore is SEC speed…so who knows where Best really ranks. i’d take him over most of the backs currently in our league.

Scheduling: the Pac-10 overall does a far better job of scheduling out of conference games than the SEC. where most SEC teams will load up on Conference USA and Sun Belt cupcakes, the Pac 10 seems much more willing to take on another team that might actually beat one of their schools, partly because geographically your cupcakes are a little bit tougher and partly because the SEC doesn’t have to travel, so they don’t. also the fact that everyone in the PAC 10 plays one another is pretty cool.

The Mountain West i think the Mountain West’s record against the Pac 10 is more proof that they should be included in the BCS than it says anything about the weakness of the Pac 10. as much as the SEC loves to talk about being the best, we actually have a losing record against the Big East over the last 4 or 5 years.

Positive Vibes Friday: I Want Thurston's Gold Microphone

Sonic Youth playing the Carpenters. trippy. best cover ever. i can't even tell you how many times i put this song on a mixed tape for a girl in highschool.


on a totally random note, i dug both of NBC's new thursday night shows. Parks & Recreation and Southland are welcome to my Thursday night viewing schedule.

UGA Spring Game...

....is anybody in Athens going?

As a follow up question, is anyone going to the Auburn spring game? I'm planning on making the trip again this year so I can see first hand what a disaster the new offense is going to be...and to get a look at the Chizik. I'll be leaving my gold chains at home.

Don't Hold Your Breath USC Haters

Looks like the NCAA is combining their investigations of OJ Mayo and Reggie Bush into one giant probe of the entire athletic department at USC...nothing is going to come of this, you know it...i know it....i don't even know why i bothered bringing it up.

my Twitter buddy Pete Carroll hasn't tweeted shit about this, but he did say, "The Fray.... yeah, good stuff....." so i found at least one mighty flaw in College football's reigning king.

A Totally Negative Post about the state of Auburn football

Fact: we have no QB...if we did then there wouldn't be a battle going on this spring

Fact: we have no WRs...it's very likely that two true freshman could be the key playmakers at the position next season.

Fact: our best offensive weapon is being moved to H back even though he's more talented than the other runningbacks on the team

Fact: our defense lacks depth and is a few key injuries away from serious trouble

The season is gonna be rough, all this early optimism is gonna be replaced with the angst and doubt we all got when Chizik was hired...this is reality, no matter how negative it sounds. If Auburn gets a win against LSU, UGA, or Bama then that angst will be replaced by hope. Until then I've got what Hunter S. Thompson called "the Fear". That doesn't mean I don't believe but I mean I did name my blog A Lifetime Of Defeats and my blogger name is JR Suicide...it ain't like positivity is my strongest quality...but I still believe. I am just being cautious and not getting caught up in pre-season hyperbole. At least not until I go to the Spring game next week and get tricked by Spread Eagle 2. Then I'll be drinking poisoned Kool Aid and shooting rainbows out my ass.

It should be noted that I wrote lots of angry and hateful posts last year about the Atlanta Falcons offseason moves and the drafting of Matt Ryan (whom I labeled Fucknuts McWhitey) and that turned out totally wrong, so I am hoping the more negative things I say about Auburn the better they will turn out to be just to spite my internet drivel. A blogger can dream, right?

Dear Atlanta Bullpen,

FUCK YOU!

Love,

Justin

Auburn Spring Fashion Choices

it's not even close to football season and yet i am already thinking about my new Auburn gear i wanna get. when googling the words Auburn & Vintage i came across this hoodie. it's pretty cool. it's got one of my favorite Auburn logo's besides the Eagle coming out of the A (my all time fav) and it's not too pricey (only 24 bucks for a pullover hoodie is a total deal)...beats the 42 dollars i paid last year for that Chip & Pepper shirt..

Gameday Is Coming...Again

people will offer their first born as a snack to Uga in exchange for Georgia beating the Gators.

soooo i'm going to the UGA Spring game on Saturday, being that i live in Athens and the shit is free (i'll do anything that is free) and ESPN is gonna be here...which gives me more chances to see UGA fans with signs like this. (tis true, Corso is a Dutch).

no word yet if Erin Andrews is gonna be here...i'll keep my eyes out.


i like that Georgia is making this bullshit free as noone should have to pay to watch someone practice, but seriously someone should let ESPN know ahead of time not to expect a ton of people, i mean the Masters is going on...white people love some motherfuckin' boring ass golf being played 90 minutes away more than they do UGA spring ball. i should know, i fucking grew up in Disgusta. so don't hold your breath for a huge crowd. just sayin'.

Auburn's New Intro Song

i finally figured out what it should be

When you see us comin'
You better startin' runnin'
We're always startin' trouble
And we're happiest when things are outta hand

Braves on their way towards 162-0 season

I could get used to this whole beating the Phillies thing. It's amazing what not having a pitching staff with a combined age of 400 can do for your teams ability to look like a potential playoff team. (Fingers crossed) But the Braves look pretty fucking good after two dominant performances against one of the NL's supposed top teams and the defending World Series champs. I mean yes, I know I should slow my roll cuz it's 2 fucking games...you can call me excited and overly optimistic, but I believe in this year's Atlanta team. The pitching seems solid enough, the lineup has a nice mix of youth and veterans, and Atlanta seems to have some of there old swagger back. With The Hawks doing well, the Falcons showing the promise of becoming one of the NFC's best young teams, and now the Braves possibly reemerging...well the ATL might finally be shedding it's bullshit label as a bad pro sports town.

Now prepare yourself for the Hawks to get swept in the 1st round, the Braves to get hit with major injuries and a long losing streak that kills their season before June, and Matt Ryan to develop a drug problem. This is what I've come to expect as fans of these teams. Whatever, i'd trade all the ATL misery in the world for Spread Eagle 2 to bring Auburn to the promised land...come on world, you fucking owe me.

Hey, what's that wacky kid Tyrik Rollison got to say?

Via Facebook:

"Tyrik Rollison is ready to start for Auburn."

So Kodi, Neil, etc... you guys are on notice. Tyrik is ready to snatch that job, and based on the things I've read about Spring ball would anyone be that surprised if Auburn ends up with a true freshman QB? It's a frightening prospect and it's the sort of move that signals you have kind of given up on your season, but then if you watched OSU's Terrell Pryor or Robert Griffin of Baylor play last year you know that sometimes it's just smarter to play your best athlete even if he's not 100% ready.

random thoughts about the NCAA championship game

This was the worst final four ever. None of the games were close. None of these players are stars.

Who couldn't see this blowout coming? This is exactly what happened the last time these teams played.

Playing final four games in football stadiums sucks.

Magic and Jordan should suit up and play an old timers game of HORSE...that would be far more entertaining than this murder of the Spartans.

All of this is just making the city of Detroit even more depressed...that and all the crack.

It better not snow tonight.

I'm glad the Yankees lost today.

It probably has to do with growing up in Augusta, but I fucking hate the Masters.

I'm gonna watch a movie...this is pointless.

Braves Win! Braves Win! (okay...maybe i'm a little too excited)

well that was a hell of a way to get the 2009 season started as the Braves pounded 3 homeruns in the 1st two innings and then Derek Lowe mowed through the Phillies lineup to get Atlanta the first win of the year. call me impressed by Lowe, who i thought was a bad move on Atlanta's part to give such a big contract to, obviously if he pitches like this all year then he's worth every penny. also way to go Jordan Shafer in getting a homerun in your first major league at bat. i'm always optimistic about Atlanta to start the season, let's just hope the Braves can make it through the first month alive and i might actually watch some baseball this year. although i hope the bullpen doesn't plan on trying to make every single 4 run lead that interesting in the 9th.

I Heart Adventureland

While America was busy watching Fast & Furious this weekend, i was going to the Theater to see Adventureland...Twice, the last movie i saw twice was The Dark Knight...so that's about as ringing an endorsement of a film as i can give it. besides any movie that opens with The Replacements "Bastards Of Young" is gonna have my love from the word go...if that movie actually turns out to be one of the best teen/young adult coming-of-age movies in years...well that's just a bonus.

Set in the summer of 1987, Adventureland is the story of James Brennan, a recent college grad with plans of spending his summer in Europe exploring the old world with his college roommate and having a transformative life experience before heading off to Grad school at Columbia. Unfortunately James learns that his summer plans and possibly his Ivy league future are in jeopardy when his parents spring on him that they've hit financial hard times and can't afford his trip or to pay for his rent in New York City next year...and so James must take the only job that his four years of comparative lit have made him qualified for...as a carny at a shitty amusement park called Adventureland. Oh yeah, and James is a virgin...the sort of plot point that would normally remind you of movies like American Pie or Super Bad (the director Greg Mottola's last film)...you know, over the top and laugh out loud raunchy teen comedies that are more fantasy than reality...but Adventureland is more in the realm of a Cameron Crowe movie, a little smarter, the laughs more subtle and relateable. Luckily James' virginity isn't part of some ridiculous quest or pact to lose it before x day or anything like that...instead its more of a way for us to understand that James is an intelligent, sensitive, over-thinker who is more interested in finding love than getting laid...a classic hopeless romantic whose wooing techniques are to talk about literature and make a girl a mixtape of his favorite "bummer songs"...so yeah, the same school that a lot of shy young men who ended up playing in indie rock bands or became writers graduated from. And so James is highly realistic in his awkward, slightly pretentious, and yet somehow self assured way.

When James begins working at Adventureland he meets Joel (smartass, Russian lit loving, misanthrope) who shows him the ropes, explaining to him that all the games are rigged and let's James know that he must never give away a Giant Ass Panda (the best prize at the park) as it will result in him losing his job. On his 2nd day some rednecks demand said Panda after cheating on a game and threaten him at knife point if he refuses to reward them...this is when we meet Em, who shows up saves his ass...setting into motion our little love story that is the heart of this movie. Later that night she gives James a ride home and the two silently listen to Husker Du's "i don't wanna know if you are lonely" on the car ride home, sharing some awkward yet knowing glances and smiles with one another...bonding over the mutual love of a great song.

Em is a NYU student working at the Park as an excuse to get away from her bitchy stepmother. she's smart, pretty, and emotionally screwed up...she's also having a secret affair with Connell (played by Ryan Reynolds), the park's handyman...an older, very married, local musician whose claim to fame is that he jammed with Lou Reed once and tells James he's planning on moving out to LA and starting a new band soon. Things become more complicated when Em and James friendship starts to become something more when James kisses her after a night spent driving around listening to "pale blue eyes" (seriously, my favorite song of all time). and so this little love triangle of sorts creates most of our drama as Em becomes more and more depressed with her current situation with Connell as she begins to open herself up to James. this of course results in causing James a lot of angst before things finally come to a head in the whole Em, James, and Connell thing.

the plot isn't anything we haven't all seen before...young man coming of age falls in love with a girl who is afraid to fall in love...but the performances by Jesse Eisenberg (who is stealing some of Michael Cera's leading geek man thunder) and Kristen Stewart (who proves that she can actually act) are what make this worth seeing, as they are both 100% likeable and believable late teen/early 20s characters. it made me jealous that i'm not 20.

the rest of the cast is great too. Ryan Reynolds plays the washed up local musician Connell as a guy who is sort of resigned to his sad pathetic life and passes the time the only way he knows how by sleeping with younger girls just to get through the day...even if he's kind of a creep, he's also completely relateable. there's also the park's resident hottie Lisa P., who ends up becoming James backup plan to Em when she becomes flaky about their relationship. Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig of SNL play a married couple who run the park, with Hader supplying most of the most hilarious moments. then there's Frigo, the idiot kid from back home that's emotionally stuck in highschool who spends most of the film supplying crotch punches. and then finnaly there is Jole, played by Freaks & Geeks uber-nerd Martin Starr, who gets all the movie's best lines and steals every scene that he's in.

the real star of the film is the soundtrack though. i mean goddamn! you've got 80s college rock heavy weights (The Replacements "bastards of young" and "unsatisfied", Husker Du "i don't wanna know if you are lonely", The Cure "just like heaven", & The Jesus and Mary Chain "taste of cindy") that help to define our two main characters. some 70s punk (New York Dolls "looking for a kiss" & Nick Lowe "so it goes") and some choice 80s one hit wonder cuts (Crowded House "don't dream it's over" & The Outfield's "your love"). then the quest to use every single Rolling Stones deepcut ever in a movie is carried on with the inclusion of "Tops" (a personal fav). and finally we've got 3 Lou Reed/Velvet Underground cuts ("pale blue eyes", "here she comes now", & "satellite of love") that make up the heart of the movie...especially "Pale Blue Eyes" that is used perfectly to reflect James' longing for Em. there's also a reoccurring joke as the song "Rock Me Amadeus" is played constantly at the park that slowly drives our young heroes mildly insane.

the way this movie is being marketed as a teen gross-out comedy/follow up to Superbad pretty much insures that it's gonna fail at the box office...if you are a fan of Almost Famous, (the highly underrated) Thumbsucker, or last year's Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist then you will love Adventureland too. a sweet, thoughtful, a little bit melancholy, coming of age and falling in love for the first time film that makes you long for the days when making a girl a mixtape was a big deal.

weekend plans

DJ night

Go see Adventureland

Figure out what the hell I'm gonna do with the rest of my life

Finish reading the Informers

Watch the Final Four

Peace out

Positive Vibe Friday: Crunk n' Disorderly

it's my DJ night tonight...if you are in Athens, GA and wanna get drunk and hear some good tunes then slide on down to the Caledonia around 10pm. it's a double shot of Crunk N' Punk to start your Friday morning off. America, American is killing it's youth.

The Hot Boyz "We On Fire"


vs.

The Dead Boys "Sonic Reducer"

who?

Georgia hired some guy I've never even heard of before to coach their basketball team. Mark Fox is your man now Dawgs. He won a lot of games at Nevada, so that's good...but yeah, not the BIG SPLASH that UGA was hoping for. Of course most Bulldog fans just said, "when's football season start?" And that pretty much sums up UGA basketball. Anything is better than what Georgia had before, and hey...its not like your top tier football team ran their highly successful coach out of town and hired a guy whose only won 5 games in 2 years...cuz that would be really insane....

This Thing Called Baseball That I Used To Care About, But Don't Anymore, Is About To Start

i remember when THIS was my favorite time of the year. the beginning of baseball season. now....not so much.

number of current Braves players that i can name off the top of my head (11)

amount of games i will probably go watch live this season (2)

months the Braves will be contenders in the NL East (1)

Trooper Taylor Hath Given Us New Quotes To Litter The Internet With

besides being the most pimpish looking member of the new coaching staff at Auburn, Trooper Taylor is also gifting us with some awesome new lingo.

my personal favorite : "he's like a limo without gas."

oh and just so you know, some kid with yellow shoes (this is how he was described by the special teams coach) is stealing Wes Byrum's job.

how does one go from this:
to losing your starting job? Oh yeah, going from 73% to 57% on field goal tries probably didn't help.

...and For No Reason Whatsoever, Bo Jackson Youtube Video set to Tom Petty

i miss you Bo. of all the non movie, girlfriend, family tragedy induced moments of tears...Bo Jackson retiring from football is at the tops.

your weekly Tyrik Rollison facebook update

I should probably stop posting the ramblings of a teenage QB recruit who constantly updates his eligibility status for Auburn nation on facebook...but it's the offseason and I've got nothing else to talk about other than Caudle vs. Burns in the QB duel.

Current status: Tyrik Rollison is GOING TOO be up at AUBURN this SUMMER. I Will play this Fall!!!

Good for you, I'm hoping it's not an April Fools gag. I'm hoping you aren't just trying to convince yourself...and far be it from me to point out someone else's grammar failures...

please make your mouth hole stop making those sounds

listening to Trent Dilfer trash Jay Cutler is a lot like listening to Dane Cook give Chris Rock critiques on his standup comedy. Dude you were an NFL journeyman whose team won a Super Bowl because you had the best defense ever...not because of you. The myth that winning a championship somehow makes a QB legit is highly overrated.

So Jay Cutler is officially ESPN's new whipping boy by the angry ex-players turned commentators. T.O., Ocho Cinco... you guys have some company.

my favorite thing about ESPN: giving mediocre coaches and players a forum to spew forth their jealous rage.

The Curse Of Elway

It's official. Denver is fucked. i wonder if they are starting to regret that whole firing Shanahan thing yet?

Have fun with Chris Simms.

Tebow in 2024

Who the fuck didn't see this coming?

considering most experts don't think Tebow has much of a shot being an NFL QB, wouldn't it make more sense for the kid to go into the world of politics? when i heard Timmy give his Heisman speech i knew then and there that he would at least be the future Governor of Florida some day. sounds like Limbaugh and co. wanna groom him for something bigger.

Sorry GOP, Tebow was born in the Philippines...so i'm pretty sure he isn't eligible.

Another Reminder About This Friday

Hey Athens, you are invited. this Friday to the Caledonia for CRUNK N' DISORDERLY Part 2

3 bands (Cassevetes, Night Moves Gold, and Excalibrah)

with myself & kenniebloggins spinning the best of 70s punk, 90s gangsta rap, and Southern Crunk jams for your lame honky ass outside on the patio all night long.

If You Needed Your Face Melted Off By Lazer Shooting Guitars, Aldo Nova has you covered

you're welcome.

Ain't Nobody Wanna Coach Your Shitty Basketball Team

So Mizzou head coach Mike Anderson told the Bulldogs no thanks and took less money to stay with the Tigers. I guess battling Kansas, Texas, and Oklahoma seemed more appealing than having to rebuild the worst team in the SEC. Most Georgia fans just said, "We have a basketball team?"

I feel bad for the Dawgs because Anderson was the only big name out there that they had a shot at and living here in Athens I admit that I was a little excited about the prospect of Georgia becoming an entertaining, high flying, dunkathon...but it is not to be.