I Believe? Sorta.

my eyes are still fucking bleeding from that scoring orgy. that was like watching a game of Madden between me and my old roomate. you just knew the 1st team to commit a turnover was gonna lose because punting wasn't really in the playbook.

so yeah Auburn dropped a million points on Arkansas. awesome. stoked. but they also gave up half a million points in the process and were helped out a good deal on some questionable replay calls. i feel great about the win, in that Auburn won, but i am still not 100% sure i can believe in this team...but that's sort of been my approach to the 2010 Auburn Tigers all season. i went into the year saying we would win 10 games and go to the Capital One Bowl. and up til now i STILL believe that will happen at the very least. the words BCS Champs didn't and still haven't entered my brain. when your team's defense is that fucking shitty and you are that reliant on 1 guy (aka Newton) then it's just hard to see how we can keep possibly beating good teams.

but then there is the part of my brain that says, fuck that! we are totally going undefeated, winning the national title, cam newton is winning the Heisman, kiss our asses, we are the champs!!!

but i really don't let that come out too much, mostly i am still cautious of this squad. every week i tell my friend Mike (a noted Alabama fan) that the Tigers are gonna lose this week. i say things like, "well if i HAD to pick a loss, then i'm okay with this one." but with LSU, that is not the case. going into the year i had 4 games ranked in order of how bad i wanted Auburn to win. they were UGA, LSU, BAMA, & Arkansas...in that order. but i just can't let myself believer Auburn can win them all. call it 32 years of rooting for a team that always seems to screw themselves or get screwed at some point in the year. i'm just not comfortable thinking my team is a champion (you can obviously blame the Braves, Falcons, and Hawks for my pessimistic attitude towards fandom).

but i WANT to believe in Auburn. i NEED to believe in Auburn....because i think we can all be totally honest with ourselves and say that THIS IS THE BEST CHANCE AUBURN IS GOING TO GET AT A BCS TITLE ANYTIME SOON. i know you guys are all thinking it.

THE AUBURN TIGERS 2011 DOOMSDAY SCENARIO:

next year Auburn is going to be minus our two best defensive players in Josh Bynes and Nick Fairley (so gone to the NFL) plus a number of other valuable members of the trash heap that can't stop anything. we might be looking at a bunch of freshmen and sophomores out their getting lit up next year.

we also will have to replace 4 out of 5 offensive linemen with a bunch of redshirt freshmen, junior college transfers, and guys converted to linemen...not exactly something that has me sleeping easy.

ole' Gustav is so fucking gone after this year that it makes me wanna cry. with the way he turned Auburn from a laughing stock offensively in the SEC to one of the top 5 units in the country, there is no fucking way he's sticking around 1 more season. besides Jim Harbaugh, he's probably gonna be the hottest coach in the country. and

if we lose him, do you really think Cam Newton might just take that leap to the NFL while his stock is up? i do. and so we go into '11 with the option of Barrett Trotter (who can't seem to stay healthy) or Clint Mosely (who was a 3 star recruit) or a true freshman.

not to mention we must replace our field goal kicker, will have serious lack of depth at tailback, and likely might lose Darvin Adams a year early to the draft. all in all if 2010 doesn't have a championship at the end of the tunnel, i'm not sure another is likely for at least another 3 or 4 years.

so no pressure Tigers, but YOU HAVE TO WIN NOW.

It's My Motherfucking Poll and I Will Blindly Rank My Team #1

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Auburn (who needs a fucking defense?)
2. Oregon
3. Oklahoma
4. Boise State
5. TCU
6. LSU
7. Alabama
8. Utah
9. Michigan State
10. Oklahoma State
11. Missouri
12. Stanford
13. Wisconsin
14. Ohio State
15. Nebraska
16. FSU
17. Arizona
18. Arkansas
19. Iowa
20. Texas
21. West Virginia
22. Virginia Tech
23. Mississippi State
24. USC
25. South Carolina

So long, Bobby Cox

Even though I mostly don't care about/and or like baseball anymore (which is always weird to think about considering I played it half of my life) I will always root for the Braves. And after spending my youth rooting for the most useless franchise in the majors, Bobby Cox came in and turned the laughing stock into a perennial contender. For all the shit people give Atlanta for only winning 1 championship how many teams wouldn't give anything to have that problem? I think the Cubs would trade us for that kind of failure anytime.

So thank you, Bobby. Thank you for making the Atlanta Braves something that made me miserable instead of something I didn't give a shit about.

SEC Backlash?

In what kind of bizzaro world would you imagine there being 2 undefeated SEC schools at the midway point in the season who would BOTH be ranked lower than a school from the WAC & Mountain West? You'd think 4 straight BCS titles for the conference would earn a little more love for Auburn and LSU...but I get the sneaky feeling that there's not going to be an SEC program representing the league in the title game this year. I am starting to think voters wanna see anyone but a school from the deep south holding that crystal football...even if it means Ohio State gets to face off against the Boise State Smurfs in a battle of undefeated schools who didn't beat anyone worth a shit.

All I've heard this year is how the Big 10 is back and how the Pac 10 has more talent top to bottom than the SEC. It's like a bogus political mantra being repeated week after week on College Gameday until the voters start to believe it. Sure, Georgia and Tennesse both suck, but does that really mean the whole conference is down? LSU is the luckiest team in the history of ever....but a win is a win is a win. South Carolina finds themselves a legit contender but I still get the feeling noone believes in the 'Cocks. And Auburn might just be the quietest undefeated SEC team with a Heisman contender of all time.

All I can say is if Auburn somehow is able to win the SEC and has to settle for a Sugar Bowl while Boise and OSU duke it out for the national championship, I might just drive to Idaho and set the blue turf on fire.

Poll Damn Eagle

take a mental picture, friends. Auburn finds themselves the top ranked SEC team at the midway point. hopefully it lasts. the fact Bama is still ranked higher than the Gamecocks is kinda lame, but i don't bow down to the AP and Coaches and so my top 25 goes as so...


A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Oregon
2. Ohio State
3. Nebraska
4. Boise State
5. Oklahoma
6. Auburn
7. TCU
8. LSU
9. South Carolina
10. Alabama
11. Arkansas
12. Utah
13. Stanford
14. Michigan State
15. Oklahoma State
16. Missouri
17. FSU
18. Nevada
19. Arizona
20. Iowa
21. Wisconsin
22. Air Force
23. West Fucking Virginia
24. Florida
25. North Carolina State

Top 25

A Lifetime of Defeat's Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio State
4. Boise State
5. Nebraska
6. TCU
7. Auburn
8. Oklahoma
9. LSU
10. Arkansas
11. Arizona
12. Utah
13. Florida
14. Michigan State
15. Miami
16. Iowa
17. Stanford
18. Michigan
19. South Carolina
20. Wisconsin
21. Nevada
22. Oklahoma State
23. Missouri
24. Northwestern
25. Air Force

Perfect Weekend

Auburn Rolls

The Falcons win in comeback fashion to go to 3-1.

& the Braves sneak into the playoffs in Bobby Cox final year.

oh yeah, AND the Georgia Bulldogs fucking suck.

awesome.

as a bonus the weather is FINALLY of the light jacket wearing variety, therefor worth going outside again.

Top 25.... 1 month down

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio State
4. TCU
5. Boise State
6. Nebraska
7. Florida
8. Wisconsin
9. Auburn
10. Stanford
11. LSU
12. Arizona
13. Oklahoma
14. Arkansas
15. Utah
16. South Carolina
17. Miami
18. USC
19. Iowa
20. Texas
21. Missouri
22. Michigan
23. Nevada
24. Oklahoma State
25. North Carolina State

Camzilla For Heisman

where the hell is Cam Newton’s Heisman love? dude is easily the best player in the SEC right now. he’s single handedly beaten Clemson and South Carolina (with a little help from Dyer and the Defense).

sure Denard Robinson is exciting and Andrew Luck has NFL #1 pick written all over him, but beating Notre Dame isn't exactly the most difficult thing in the world to do…but then again Sportswriters tend to be a lazy bunch. Newton is one of the most dangerous player in college football right now....give him some love damnit!

4-0 and ranked in the top 10 BABY!!!!

soooo. 2 schools from the state of South Carolina, multiple heart attacks, 897,000 uses of the word FUCK, and a whole lot of pretending that i wasn't gonna let myself get swept up in the Cam Newton hype....and we find our Auburn Tigers battle tested like a motherfucker. nothing has come easy for Auburn these last 2 (hell, really 3 weeks) but Auburn has figured out a way to win. 2 BIG comebacks against teams that'll more than likely be playing in bowl games shows that this ain't your Tommy Tuberville Tigers that tended to fold up the tent whenever they fell behind more than a touchdown. No, starting with last year's West Virginia comeback, this is a team that will not panic and just give up. they will fight their asses off and do whatever it takes to get the win. Do i really think Auburn is gonna challenge Alabama for the West this season? yeah, i fucking do. so with Auburn's remaining schedule there are only 3 real games that i don't see Auburn favored. Arkansas, LSU, and Alabama. LSU's offense is a broken down piece of shit. Arkansas will be a real test, Mallett is the real deal and those receivers scare me...but do you really think Arkansas can stop Auburn's running game? Me neither. and Auburn almost beat the Tide last seasons with a far less talented squad. if Auburn rolls into the Iron Bowl with a chance to claim the West title then all bets are off...i don't give a shit how fucking scary Bama looks.

Top 25

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio State
4. Nebraska
5. TCU
6. Boise State
7. Texas
8. Florida
9. Arkansas
10. Wisconsin
11. Arizona
12. South Carolina
13. Stanford
14. Oklahoma
15. LSU
16. Auburn
17. Utah
18. Miami
19. Iowa
20. West Virginia
21. USC
22. Michigan
23. Nevada
24. Missouri
25. Oklahoma State

music for the drunk and lonely. the best kind.

another Walkmen album. another record to get me through the winter. the most consistent band of the early 2000s New York indie boom has put out Lisbon today, probably their best album since Bows & Arrows (although to be honest i love all of them about the same). how these guys haven’t been more successful has always been of one of the great mysteries of the last decade. the Walkmen have done nothing to fuck up their young Dylan fronting a british post-punk band sound because smart bands don’t fuck with what works. if you are a fan then you will like it. if you aren’t a fan...well what the fuck is wrong with you?

When Men Were Gods

Who had time to burn a Quran this weekend with all that awesome football?

the best thing about the opening Sunday of the 2010 NFL season were those Ray Lewis Old Spice Commercials.

some other shit we learned:

Arian Foster is apparently a better NFL runningback than he was at Tennessee.

Darren McFadden CAN put up descent numbers for your fantasy football team as long as he's on your bench.

Vince Young is a better QB than any of the other guys drafted the same year as him.

No matter how much i want to believe in the Falcons, there only true purpose on Earth is to make me suffer.

Even when the Lions really win, they still end up with a loss.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Mike Williams is alive and scoring touchdowns in the NFL?!!?

That dog killer can still play some football, a little bit. (on a side note, how sick are you gonna be of hearing about the Quarterback controversy in Philly that ESPN is gonna ram down our throats all fucking season?)

Tony Romo is still overrated.

Thank Odin, God, and Allah that the NFL has returned.

my vintage 1986 NFL Pro Bowl t-shirt. who owns a fucking Pro Bowl t-shirt? apparently this asshole does.

5 predictions for the NFL Season (that have nothing to do with the Falcons)

1. The Houston Texans will finally unseat the Colts in the AFC South

2. The Raiders will win 8 games.

3. Brett Favre will get hurt and actually miss a game this year, snapping his streak.

4. CJ Spiller is gonna win the NFL Rookie of the Year.

5. The Jets are NOT going to make it to the Super Bowl

i have this weird feeling it's gonna be 2007 all over again

The next time you are bitching and whining about the way your team WON a game, stop and reflect on a team like Virginia Tech losing to James Madison.


A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Ohio State
3. Oregon
4. Nebraska
5. Oklahoma
6. Florida
7. Texas
8. TCU
9. Boise State
10. Iowa
11. Wisconsin
12. Auburn
13. Arkansas
14. South Carolina
15. Arizona
16. Utah
17. Stanford
18. Michigan
19. Miami
20. Houston
21. Air Force
22. California
23. LSU
24. USC
25. West Virginia

Sound & Vision

a random selection of awesome rock and roll pics via my other blog.

That Was Ugly, But I'll Take It

with a lot of help from CamZilla, Auburn was able to beat those suddenly dangerous Cowbell ringing fools in Starkville and escape with a lucky 17-14 win. Newton, McCalebb, and Dyer were the offensive stars again and it looks like if the Tigers are gonna make any noise in the West this year it's gonna be on the legs of those two.

and HEY, looks like we kind of have a defense...sort of. Nick Fairley is turning into the defensive line beast that we knew we'd need to replace Coleman with. how many sacks does he have this season? like 12? other than the long drive to start the 2nd half and when the special teams fucked them on that fumble, Auburn's defense was able to keep State off the scoreboard. still there are too many yards being given up to think Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, and even LSU won't be lighting it up.

but in the SEC a win is a win is a win, these days...so now it's time to get ready for some real tests with Clemson and South Carolina coming up next.


a confession:

you know, at almost no point in the game did i think Auburn was ACTUALLY gonna win this thing. i always love it when the Tigers prove me wrong. in the past this sort of performance against Mississippi State would've made me sick...but i feel like the Bulldogs are for real and will end up with a 7-5 record and an upset against LSU or Arkansas. I'm def not looking forward to Dan Mullen down in Starkville these next few seasons until he gets scooped up by some bigger program.

Fuck Thursday Night Football In It's Ear

my anxiety meter for tonight's Auburn/Mississippi State Thursday Night Black Hole Of ESPN Doom is about as high as it could possibly be. from the moment this game was announced i was screaming "Upset!" inside my brain.

Why do Elite schools(and by elite i just mean team's with a ton of tradition/years of winning/not members of the Big East) ever fucking play on Thursday? why would you give up a Saturday game for some extra eyeballs on ESPN? is it really that great of a recruiting tool? is it really worth playing that game and losing? i understand that team's in the Big East built up their brand by playing this time slot...and it helped those schools...but Auburn is hardly West Virginia, South Florida, or Louisville. anyways it's too late now, but i really wish the Tigers would avoid this game at all costs. i can't remember Florida, LSU, Tennessee, Georgia, or Alabama playing on Thursday. no, it's always South Carolina or Vandy. is that the company we wanna be keeping?

Former USC Running Back To Be Stripped Of His Giant Useless Paperweight aka Heisman

it took them long enough. wait, not that one? really?


seriously taking Reggie Bush's Heisman trophy away might be the stupidest/most pointless thing that has ever happened in college football...and THAT is saying something.

According to ESPN it's Michael Dyer's Show At Auburn

can't link to the post, but basically the true freshman is getting an elevated role in the offense this week, which is to be expected considering he easily looked like the best runningback for the Tigers.

1st week polls out.

in the polls that matter Auburn remains in the 20s. the AP has the Tigers ranked 21st and the Coaches put Auburn in a tie for 20 with Utah.

The Admiral Would've Warned Houston Nutt That It Was A Trap

one of my favorite moments from a rather excellent 1st weekend of college football was the Ole' Miss/Admiral Ackbar commercial.

1 Week Down

just in case you were wondering...yes, Nike does want to rape your eyeballs.

A Lifetime of Defeat's Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio State
4. Miami
5. Boise State
6. Nebraska
7. Texas
8. TCU
9. Oklahoma
10. Florida
11. Georgia
12. Virginia Tech
13. Auburn
14. Florida State
15. Arkansas
16. Iowa
17. Georgia Tech
18. Wisconsin
19. Penn State
20. Arizona
21. USC
22. BYU
23. Utah
24. West Virginia
25. LSU

The Cam Newton Show, Starring Cam Newton as Super QB

So yeah, that was fun to watch....well the Cam Newton parts anyways. Hmmm, when's the last time you felt 100% confident about the guy taking snaps for Auburn? For me it would be Jason Campbell midway through his Senior season.
You've got to consider Newton one of the top 3 QBs in the SEC, don't you? Watching him it looks like someone gave a young grizzly bear a lesson in how to play football and put him out on the field. He's a monster! He's awesome! He's ours! Thanks Florida.

I wonder after yesterday if Urban Meyer is missing ole' Cam after the performance his Gators put on?

So yeah, Cameron Newton worship will probably be the main theme of yesterday's blowout victory...and it should be, BUT you don't name your blog A Lifetime of Defeats because you have a positive outlook on life.

And so I am here to bitch and whine about the performance of Auburn yesterday in a game where they dropped over 50 points.

And where to start....

1. THE DEFENSE = still just as shitty as last season. Auburn can't fucking stop the run. Auburn can't stop the pass. Any team with a good QB will shred us apart. Any team with a good running game will gash us for 200 yards. It's a good thing that Auburn has a good offense because I have a feeling the average score of their victories is going to be in the 35 to 28 realm.

2. FUMBLES = Mario Fannin is a real good receiver coming out of the backfield (as was obvious from his 2 touchdowns) which is why they should just move him back to H-Back fulltime. Because he CAN NOT BE TRUSTED to hang on to a motherfucking football. 1 fumble does not a season make, but his history of this has always been the reason he's been beat out by guys that he was seemingly more athletic and skilled than.

But seriously, after watching little Dyer play yesterday is there any doubt in your mind that he shouldn't be the starting tailback? Because I see a guy who could win a Heisman someday. Watching Newton and Dyer together was by far the most exciting thing about the Tigers offense. Give me more of that right now.

So yeah, Newton's performance is the reason to feel good about 2010 but the defense is gives us every reason to feel like the 2010 Tigers are going to be a team that drives me completely fucking insane. I'm stoked.

It's That Time Again

broke out my unlucky Auburn shirt today (every game i've ever worn this to the Tigers have lost...so any games i attend this year i will be leaving this at home.)

as you may have been able to tell by the complete lack of football related (or anything related, really) posts on A Lifetime Of Defeats the past several months that i really have lost complete and total interest in this blog. with any luck the Tigers will have a great season and i'll get the urge to write some more...but right now i could honestly give a fuck about this blog. so yeah, if you've been following it the past few years then thanks a lot. but my anger and profanity is lacking of late.

My 5 Overly High Expections for the Atlanta Falcons

1. 11-5 regular season and the NFC West crown. a 1-1 split with the Saints but beats them on Monday Night Football near the end of the year to clinch the division.

2. Matt Ryan finished with 30 TD passes and over 3,300 yards passing. establishes himself as one of the elite QBs in the league and finishes in the top 3 for MVP voting. named to Pro Bowl.

3. Michael Turner returns to 2008 form and challenges Purple Jesus and Chris Johnson for the rushing title.

4. a deep playoff run and a loss in the NFC title game to Greenbay or Dallas.

5. 3 straight winning seasons and the sky is the limit for this team. Atlanta is now one of the contenders for the 2012 Super Bowl.

i'd also be happy with 10-6 and a Wildcard, just as long as the Falcons beat a team or two in the playoffs.

My 5 Overly High Expectations For 2010 Auburn

1. 10-2 regular season. losses to Mississippi State (the curse of Thursday night!) and Alabama. finishes 2nd in the West and 3rd overall in the league. revenge on Arkansas, LSU, & Georgia.

2. Cameron Newton 2nd team ALL-SEC (returns for Senior year as a possible Heisman candidate)

3. a trip to the Capital One Bowl.

4. a top 10 finish in the final AP poll. enters 2011 as a very real contender for the SEC Title despite losses on the offensive line.

5. another top 10 recruiting class.

schedule wise i have a hard time seeing this team going worse than 9-3. really i just wanna beat Georgia, LSU, and Arkansas in that order...and knocking off Bama wouldn't be such a bad thing to.

DREAM SCENARIO 11-0 vs 11-0 in the Iron Bowl. it'll never happen...but it might make my brain explode if it did.

STOKED

A Completely Meaningless and Not Very Well Thought Pre-Season Top 25

A Lifetime of Defeat's Pre-Season Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oklahoma
3. Florida
4. Miami
5. TCU
6. Ohio State
7. Texas
8. Oregon
9. Nebraska
10. Virginia Tech
11. Boise State
12. USC
13. Wisconsin
14. Florida State
15. Georgia
16. Auburn
17. Georgia Tech
18. Pitt
19. Houston
20. Arizona
21. Arkansas
22. LSU
23. North Carolina
24. Iowa
25. Washington

this has nothing to do with football. aka do yourself a favor and see A Prophet.

File under: see this movie right now.

Finally out on DVD is the French prison/crime drama A Prophet (un prophete), directed by Jaqcues Audiard who made the equally awesome The Beat My Heart Skipped. It tells of the story of a French born Arab named Malik who is sent to prison for 6 years and his quest for survival which leads to his involvement with a Corsican crime family. This movie is easily one of the best films I’ve seen in the last few years and might just be one of the coolest crime dramas ever. Tahar Rahim who plays Malik is fucking awesome and gives the film the sort of energy and presence that would make him a huge star if he were American.

seriously, Rahim's Malik is one of the best movie badasses in a long time. he's a man who doesn't belong with anyone. an Arab who isn't Muslim, a gangster who isn't Corsican. he plays all sides and does whatever it takes to survive.


it's gritty and realistically violent and has one of the best shootout scenes i've seen in a long long time. Rent this movie asap, you won’t be disappointed.

actually. i will admit. i am not ready for some football.

is this the least excited you've ever been at the start of a football season or is it just me? and i actually have expectations for both the Falcons and Auburn. who knows. maybe it's the Braves fault. i've been watching too much damn baseball.

Favre dumps the Vikings via text message....like a true douchebag

stay retired, asshole.