Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Douchebag Top 25 Is Back


so i did this once before and actually meant for it to be a running thing that i'd pull out perodically but i hadn't really felt the need until recent events have brought the hater back out of me. so here it goes again....

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25 DOUCHEBAGS IN SPORTS

1. Jay Jacobs (for obvious reasons that i shouldn't need to explain)

2. Tony Kornheiser (for ruining every Monday Night Football game and for not ever knowing what the fuck he is talking about)

3. Chris Berman (still ruins everything he is a part of)

4. RedSox Nation (actually the entire Boston sports community is included in this)

5. T.O. (for regressing back into yourself when everyone knew you would)

6. Kirk Herbstreit (because he exists)

7. Manny Ramirez (for acting like a giant retard and for being a greedy dickwad)

8. Brett Favre (for all that bullshit he pulled this offseason, for having to hear about him all the time from Tony Kornheiser)

9. Keyshawn Johnson (asshole, ego maniac, bad interviewer)

10. Chad Johnson (for changing his name and for sucking it up this year)

11. A. Rod (for dating Madonna...dude, she's as old as my mom)

12. Lebron James (for saying he might go play in Europe, for the way he's handling the whole New York thing, for calling Barkley an idiot)

13. Jay Mariotti (whiner, blowhard, terrible writer, hated by his own town)

14. Colin Cowherd (blowhard, flip flops on everything, smug)

15. Al Davis (for not dying and freeing the Raiders from his grasp)

16. Tony Romo (for getting injured and ruining my fantasy team, for dating Jessica Simpson...who isn't even that hot, for being overrated)

17. Mike Lupica (blowhard, only talks about things in new york, self righteous)

18. Joe Morgan (because he thinks he knows everything)

19. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver (for ruining baseball for me)

20. Jimmy Sexton (for being a greedy cocksucker)

21. David Stern (still the smuggest asshole in sports)

22. Sportswriters who left Tebow off their Heisman Ballot (are you serious?)

23. Roger Goodell (for being a dictator and a moralist, for making teams go play in England)

24. Unfunny, Yet Popular, Blogger (you know who you are)

25. Charlie Weis (for still having a job while Tommy Tuberville doesn't)

2 comments:

caddy said...

How can you not have Scott Boras on this list????

jrsuicide said...

because i don't care about baseball anymore. i've transcended my hatred of Boras and now just think it's funny how he rules over the sport. Jimmy Sexton actually has influence in a sport i still care about (college football).