Matt Stafford on his summer vacation. probably more fun than yours.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
ROID SOX (that's just too easy)
sometimes a story just brightens your day.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatever, i know everyone was cheating in the last 15 years or whatever...probably some of the Braves too (i'm looking at your David Justice and Gary Sheffield), but having the 2 players most responsible for the Red Sox rise to power linked to positive tests all the way back in 03 BEFORE they ever won a title....well when you are as obnoxious as the Red Sox fans are you kind of deserve this news. also don't forget Johnny Damon has seen his name whispered as being an x-roider too. the only thing that could make this any sweeter is if they found out that douchebag Curt Schilling was on the juice.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
is it just me...
....or does blogspot just feel like its dead (ya know, like myspace dead...not Kurt Cobain dead)? Maybe its time to move this whole venture to tumblr. Are there any tumblr sites out there not dedicated to nude pics of hot chicks or Harry Potter vs. Twilight nerdoffs? Can a college football tumblr exist? Does anyone even care anymore?
Friday, July 24, 2009
Hey, LOST fans or people who like campy 60s TV shows
My friends Grape Soda wrote a theme song and made opening credits for LOST reimagined as a campy 60s action show
The CHIZ gettin' his Speak On
SEC MEDIA DAYS BLAH BLAH BLAH
Gene Chizik, Auburn Tigers Head Coach, at 2009 SEC Media Days |
Positive Vibes Friday: Kick This Weekend's Ass and Party To Save The World
Andrew WK is a source of much inspiration for me via his overthetop positive Twitter updates. if you're on twitter and aren't following AWK then you should fix that, now.
If we put out good vibes, we get 3 x the goodness in return. If we put out bad vibes, we get 3 x the harshness. PARTYING = GOOD VIBES
If we party, we'll be in a good mood. If we're in a good mood, we can approach situations in a loving way = PARTY 2 SAVE THE WORLD!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Least Interesting Super Secret Dunk Of All Time
the way King James and Nike tried to bury this shit you'd have thought the kid ran up his back, dunked it, and then smacked Lebron in the face with his crotch.
honestly if this bullshit had just gone up on the internet in the first place without Lebron gettin' all pissy about it then noone would have even cared. it's not like the video looks like this...
honestly if this bullshit had just gone up on the internet in the first place without Lebron gettin' all pissy about it then noone would have even cared. it's not like the video looks like this...
Labels:
dunk,
NBA,
quit acting like a douche,
the internets,
youtube
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
THE WISDOM OF KENNY POWERS
i watched Season 1 of EAST BOUND & DOWN. the tragic story of former Atlanta pitcher Kenny Powers. best fucking show ever.
it's got everything.
comedy
drama
and wisdom.....so much fucking wisdom
"Undaunted, I knew the game was mine to win. Just like in life, all of my successes depend on me. I'm the man who has the ball, I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck. So that is why I am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick. Everyone."
it's got everything.
comedy
drama
and wisdom.....so much fucking wisdom
"Undaunted, I knew the game was mine to win. Just like in life, all of my successes depend on me. I'm the man who has the ball, I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck. So that is why I am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick. Everyone."
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Fucking Phillies Need to Quit All This Winning Bullshit
So the Braves picked a really crappy time to get hot as the Phillies refuse to lose any games whatsoever. Atlanta has climbed into 2nd place in the NL East but that's pretty much like being the tallest midget.
Atlanta needs to resign Kenny Fucking Powers and they need to do it quick.
Atlanta needs to resign Kenny Fucking Powers and they need to do it quick.
Space + Pop = Spacepop?
this is the video for Mark Mallman's new jam "Invincible Criminal"...currently it is my job to pimp said video out to the internets...also i happen to think it's a pretty awesome pop song that sounds like what it would be like if Elton John and that band The Darkness had a baby together...or something. so yeah, watch it...love it...repost it elsewhere. thanks.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Auburn gets a BIG commit today. Puns are for idiots.
Four Star offensive tackle and former FSU commit, Aubrey Phillips, just became a Tiger today. apparently he showed up at FSU a little bit on the FAT MOTHERFUCKER side and got picked on by his coach about the extra weight until he said, "Fuck You Man, I'm Outta Here." and now he's at Auburn. so yeah it's a bit worrisome the way he ends up at Auburn, but still he was a 4 star offensive line recruit at a position of need for the Tigers. even if he has to sit out the year to get in shape, it's still a smart move to add a big body like his.
so yeah, some awesome news. now back to trying to find that video of Erin Andrews undressing in her hotel room.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Tiger missed the Cut?
HAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHaHAhAHaHaHaHAHahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I don't even like golf.
I don't even like golf.
Hey Athens, If You Ain't Doin' Nothing Saturday Night Come Down to Go Bar.
i'm DJing Saturday night after the band Music Hates You plays. i'll be playing nothing by 70s & early 80s hardrock (Bon Scott era AC/DC, Cheap Trick, Rainbow, Hawkwind, lots and lots of Thin Lizzy, and probably some Sabbath). come out, get drunk, and pump your fists to the best riffage of all time. should be fun.
Positive Vibes Friday: Headin' For A Showdown
ELO's "Showdown" aka the song i'd have play whereever i went if i could have my own theme song.
Labels:
music,
personal theme songs,
positive vibes friday
Thursday, July 16, 2009
COACHES ALL SEC PRE-SEASON TEAM
surprise surprise. not a lot of Auburn love from the coaches. still i think Clinton Durst and Ryan Pugh both got robbed. and i know the SEC is a QB wasteland right now...but MIKE FUCKING HARTLINE is on the 3rd team?!
2009 SEC COACHES PRE-SEASON ALL-SEC FOOTBALL TEAM
Pos. Name, School Ht. Wt. Class Hometown
First-Team Offense
TE Richard Dickson, LSU 6-3 246 Sr. Ocean Springs, Miss.
*OL Ciron Black, LSU 6-5 325 Sr. Tyler, Texas
OL Mike Johnson, Alabama 6-6 305 Sr. Pensacola, Fla.
OL Mike Pouncey, Florida 6-5 312 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
OL John Jerry, Ole Miss 6-5 350 Sr. Batesville, Miss.
C Maurkice Pouncey, Florida 6-5 312 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
*WR Julio Jones, Alabama 6-4 210 So. Foley, Ala.
WR A.J. Green, Georgia 6-4 207 So. Summerville, S.C.
QB Tim Tebow, Florida 6-3 240 Sr. Jacksonville, Fla.
RB Michael Smith, Arkansas 5-7 176 Sr. Tallahassee, Fla.
RB Charles Scott, LSU 5-11 233 Sr. Saline, La.
Second-Team Offense
TE D.J. Williams, Arkansas 6-2 251 Jr. Little Rock, Ark.
OL Lee Ziemba, Auburn 6-8 285 Jr. Rogers, Ark.
OL Clint Boling, Georgia 6-5 297 Jr. Alpharetta, Ga.
#OL Chris Scott, Tennessee 6-5 346 Sr. Riverdale, Ga.
#OL Carl Johnson, Florida 6-6 330 Jr. Durham, N.C.
#OL Cordy Glenn, Georgia 6-5 331 So. Riverdale, Ga.
C Josh McNeil, Tennessee 6-4 280 Sr. Collins, Miss.
WR Brandon LaFell, LSU 6-3 209 Sr. Houston, Texas
WR Dexter McCluster, Ole Miss 5-8 165 Sr. Largo, Fla.
QB Jevan Snead, Ole Miss 6-3 215 Jr. Stephenville, Texas
RB Anthony Dixon, Mississippi State 6-1 235 Sr. Jackson, Miss.
RB Jeff Demps, Florida 5-8 176 So. Winter Garden, Fla.
Third-Team Offense
TE Aaron Hernandez, Florida 6-3 255 Jr. Bristol, Conn.
OL Jacques McClendon, Tennessee 6-3 324 Sr. Cleveland, Tenn.
OL Zipp Duncan, Kentucky 6-5 291 Sr. Magnolia, Ky.
OL Mitch Petrus, Arkansas 6-4 315 Sr. Carlisle, Ark.
OL Trinton Sturdivant, Georgia 6-5 306 So. Wadesboro, N.C.
C Jorge Gonzalez, Kentucky 6-3 300 Sr. Tampa, Fla.
WR Shay Hodge, Ole Miss 6-1 207 Sr. Morton, Miss.
#WR Terrance Tolliver, LSU 6-5 194 Jr. Hempstead, Texas
#WR Gerald Jones, Tennessee 6-0 199 Jr. Oklahoma City, Okla.
#QB Stephen Garcia, South Carolina 6-2 219 So. Lutz, Fla.
#QB Mike Hartline, Kentucky 6-6 206 Jr. Canton, Ohio
RB Mark Ingram, Alabama 5-10 215 So. Flint, Mich.
RB Ben Tate, Auburn 5-11 216 Sr. Newark, Md.
First-Team Defense
DL Terrence Cody, Alabama 6-5 365 Sr. Fort Myers, Fla.
DL Greg Hardy, Ole Miss 6-4 265 Sr. Millington, Tenn.
DL Carlos Dunlap, Florida 6-6 290 Jr. North Charleston, S.C.
LB Rolando McClain, Alabama 6-4 249 Jr. Decatur, Ala.
LB Brandon Spikes, Florida 6-3 245 Sr. Shelby, N.C.
LB Rennie Curran, Georgia 5-11 222 Jr. Snellville, Ga.
LB Eric Norwood, South Carolina 6-1 252 Sr. Acworth, Ga.
*DB Eric Berry, Tennessee 5-11 203 Jr. Fairburn, Ga.
DB Javier Arenas, Alabama 5-9 198 Sr. Tampa, Fla.
DB Trevard Lindley, Kentucky 6-0 179 Sr. Hiram, Ga.
DB Joe Haden, Florida 5-11 185 Jr. Ft. Washington, Md.
Second-Team Defense
DL Charles Alexander, LSU 6-3 310 Sr. Breaux Bridge, La.
DL Antonio Coleman, Auburn 6-3 250 Sr. Mobile, Ala.
#DL Geno Atkins, Georgia 6-1 290 Sr. Pembroke Pines, Fla.
#DL Dan Williams, Tennessee 6-3 327 Sr. Memphis, Tenn.
#DL Malcolm Sheppard, Arkansas 6-2 280 Sr. Bainbridge, Ga.
LB Micah Johnson, Kentucky 6-2 258 Sr. Ft. Campbell, Ky.
LB Patrick Benoist, Vanderbilt 6-0 224 Sr. Southlake, Texas
LB Rico McCoy, Tennessee 6-1 220 Sr. Washington, D.C.
LB Dont'a Hightower, Alabama 6-4 250 So. Lewisburg, Tenn.
DB Ahmad Black, Florida 5-9 190 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
DB Chad Jones, LSU 6-3 214 Jr. New Orleans, La.
DB Prince Miller, Georgia 5-8 198 Sr. Duncan, S.C.
DB Myron Lewis, Vanderbilt 6-2 205 Sr. Pompano Beach, Fla.
Third-Team Defense
DL Jeff Owens, Georgia 6-3 300 Sr. Sunrise, Fla.
DL Marcus Tillman, Ole Miss 6-4 260 Sr. McCall Creek, Miss.
#DL Rahim Alem, LSU 6-3 254 Sr. New Orleans, La.
#DL Corey Peters, Kentucky 6-3 295 Sr. Louisville, Ky.
LB Chris Marve, Vanderbilt 6-0 228 So. Memphis, Tenn.
LB Jamar Chaney, Mississippi State 6-1 245 Sr. Fort Pierce, Fla.
LB Ryan Stamper, Florida 6-2 232 Sr. Jacksonville, Fla.
LB Perry Riley, LSU 6-1 240 Sr. Ellenwood, Ga.
DB Major Wright, Florida 6-0 200 Jr. Miramar, Fla.
DB Janoris Jenkins, Florida 5-10 185 So. Pahokee, Fla.
#DB Ryan Hamilton, Vanderbilt 6-2 210 Sr. Wycombe, Penn.
#DB Chris Culliver, South Carolina 6-0 190 Jr. Garner, N.C.
#DB Reshad Jones, Georgia 6-2 214 Jr. Atlanta, Ga.
First-Team Specialists
PK Leigh Tiffin, Alabama 6-1 199 Sr. Muscle Shoals, Ala.
P Chas Henry, Florida 6-4 215 Jr. Dallas, Ga.
RS Brandon James, Florida 5-7 186 Sr. St. Augustine, Fla.
Second-Team Specialists
PK Jonathan Phillips, Florida 5-10 210 Sr. Wellington, Fla.
P Brett Upson, Vanderbilt 5-11 185 Sr. Griffin, Ga.
RS Javier Arenas, Alabama 5-9 198 Sr. Tampa, Fla.
Third-Team Specialists
PK Joshua Shene, Ole Miss 5-8 170 Sr. Oklahoma City, Okla.
P Spencer Lanning, South Carolina 5-11 188 Jr. Rock Hill, S.C.
RS Trindon Holliday, LSU 5-5 165 Sr. Zachary, La.
* - Unanimous Selections
# - Ties
2009 SEC COACHES PRE-SEASON ALL-SEC FOOTBALL TEAM
Pos. Name, School Ht. Wt. Class Hometown
First-Team Offense
TE Richard Dickson, LSU 6-3 246 Sr. Ocean Springs, Miss.
*OL Ciron Black, LSU 6-5 325 Sr. Tyler, Texas
OL Mike Johnson, Alabama 6-6 305 Sr. Pensacola, Fla.
OL Mike Pouncey, Florida 6-5 312 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
OL John Jerry, Ole Miss 6-5 350 Sr. Batesville, Miss.
C Maurkice Pouncey, Florida 6-5 312 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
*WR Julio Jones, Alabama 6-4 210 So. Foley, Ala.
WR A.J. Green, Georgia 6-4 207 So. Summerville, S.C.
QB Tim Tebow, Florida 6-3 240 Sr. Jacksonville, Fla.
RB Michael Smith, Arkansas 5-7 176 Sr. Tallahassee, Fla.
RB Charles Scott, LSU 5-11 233 Sr. Saline, La.
Second-Team Offense
TE D.J. Williams, Arkansas 6-2 251 Jr. Little Rock, Ark.
OL Lee Ziemba, Auburn 6-8 285 Jr. Rogers, Ark.
OL Clint Boling, Georgia 6-5 297 Jr. Alpharetta, Ga.
#OL Chris Scott, Tennessee 6-5 346 Sr. Riverdale, Ga.
#OL Carl Johnson, Florida 6-6 330 Jr. Durham, N.C.
#OL Cordy Glenn, Georgia 6-5 331 So. Riverdale, Ga.
C Josh McNeil, Tennessee 6-4 280 Sr. Collins, Miss.
WR Brandon LaFell, LSU 6-3 209 Sr. Houston, Texas
WR Dexter McCluster, Ole Miss 5-8 165 Sr. Largo, Fla.
QB Jevan Snead, Ole Miss 6-3 215 Jr. Stephenville, Texas
RB Anthony Dixon, Mississippi State 6-1 235 Sr. Jackson, Miss.
RB Jeff Demps, Florida 5-8 176 So. Winter Garden, Fla.
Third-Team Offense
TE Aaron Hernandez, Florida 6-3 255 Jr. Bristol, Conn.
OL Jacques McClendon, Tennessee 6-3 324 Sr. Cleveland, Tenn.
OL Zipp Duncan, Kentucky 6-5 291 Sr. Magnolia, Ky.
OL Mitch Petrus, Arkansas 6-4 315 Sr. Carlisle, Ark.
OL Trinton Sturdivant, Georgia 6-5 306 So. Wadesboro, N.C.
C Jorge Gonzalez, Kentucky 6-3 300 Sr. Tampa, Fla.
WR Shay Hodge, Ole Miss 6-1 207 Sr. Morton, Miss.
#WR Terrance Tolliver, LSU 6-5 194 Jr. Hempstead, Texas
#WR Gerald Jones, Tennessee 6-0 199 Jr. Oklahoma City, Okla.
#QB Stephen Garcia, South Carolina 6-2 219 So. Lutz, Fla.
#QB Mike Hartline, Kentucky 6-6 206 Jr. Canton, Ohio
RB Mark Ingram, Alabama 5-10 215 So. Flint, Mich.
RB Ben Tate, Auburn 5-11 216 Sr. Newark, Md.
First-Team Defense
DL Terrence Cody, Alabama 6-5 365 Sr. Fort Myers, Fla.
DL Greg Hardy, Ole Miss 6-4 265 Sr. Millington, Tenn.
DL Carlos Dunlap, Florida 6-6 290 Jr. North Charleston, S.C.
LB Rolando McClain, Alabama 6-4 249 Jr. Decatur, Ala.
LB Brandon Spikes, Florida 6-3 245 Sr. Shelby, N.C.
LB Rennie Curran, Georgia 5-11 222 Jr. Snellville, Ga.
LB Eric Norwood, South Carolina 6-1 252 Sr. Acworth, Ga.
*DB Eric Berry, Tennessee 5-11 203 Jr. Fairburn, Ga.
DB Javier Arenas, Alabama 5-9 198 Sr. Tampa, Fla.
DB Trevard Lindley, Kentucky 6-0 179 Sr. Hiram, Ga.
DB Joe Haden, Florida 5-11 185 Jr. Ft. Washington, Md.
Second-Team Defense
DL Charles Alexander, LSU 6-3 310 Sr. Breaux Bridge, La.
DL Antonio Coleman, Auburn 6-3 250 Sr. Mobile, Ala.
#DL Geno Atkins, Georgia 6-1 290 Sr. Pembroke Pines, Fla.
#DL Dan Williams, Tennessee 6-3 327 Sr. Memphis, Tenn.
#DL Malcolm Sheppard, Arkansas 6-2 280 Sr. Bainbridge, Ga.
LB Micah Johnson, Kentucky 6-2 258 Sr. Ft. Campbell, Ky.
LB Patrick Benoist, Vanderbilt 6-0 224 Sr. Southlake, Texas
LB Rico McCoy, Tennessee 6-1 220 Sr. Washington, D.C.
LB Dont'a Hightower, Alabama 6-4 250 So. Lewisburg, Tenn.
DB Ahmad Black, Florida 5-9 190 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
DB Chad Jones, LSU 6-3 214 Jr. New Orleans, La.
DB Prince Miller, Georgia 5-8 198 Sr. Duncan, S.C.
DB Myron Lewis, Vanderbilt 6-2 205 Sr. Pompano Beach, Fla.
Third-Team Defense
DL Jeff Owens, Georgia 6-3 300 Sr. Sunrise, Fla.
DL Marcus Tillman, Ole Miss 6-4 260 Sr. McCall Creek, Miss.
#DL Rahim Alem, LSU 6-3 254 Sr. New Orleans, La.
#DL Corey Peters, Kentucky 6-3 295 Sr. Louisville, Ky.
LB Chris Marve, Vanderbilt 6-0 228 So. Memphis, Tenn.
LB Jamar Chaney, Mississippi State 6-1 245 Sr. Fort Pierce, Fla.
LB Ryan Stamper, Florida 6-2 232 Sr. Jacksonville, Fla.
LB Perry Riley, LSU 6-1 240 Sr. Ellenwood, Ga.
DB Major Wright, Florida 6-0 200 Jr. Miramar, Fla.
DB Janoris Jenkins, Florida 5-10 185 So. Pahokee, Fla.
#DB Ryan Hamilton, Vanderbilt 6-2 210 Sr. Wycombe, Penn.
#DB Chris Culliver, South Carolina 6-0 190 Jr. Garner, N.C.
#DB Reshad Jones, Georgia 6-2 214 Jr. Atlanta, Ga.
First-Team Specialists
PK Leigh Tiffin, Alabama 6-1 199 Sr. Muscle Shoals, Ala.
P Chas Henry, Florida 6-4 215 Jr. Dallas, Ga.
RS Brandon James, Florida 5-7 186 Sr. St. Augustine, Fla.
Second-Team Specialists
PK Jonathan Phillips, Florida 5-10 210 Sr. Wellington, Fla.
P Brett Upson, Vanderbilt 5-11 185 Sr. Griffin, Ga.
RS Javier Arenas, Alabama 5-9 198 Sr. Tampa, Fla.
Third-Team Specialists
PK Joshua Shene, Ole Miss 5-8 170 Sr. Oklahoma City, Okla.
P Spencer Lanning, South Carolina 5-11 188 Jr. Rock Hill, S.C.
RS Trindon Holliday, LSU 5-5 165 Sr. Zachary, La.
* - Unanimous Selections
# - Ties
Amazing
Plainsman Parking Lot writes an open letter to all our girlfriends to apologize for our obsession with NCAA Football 2010.
Labels:
comedy,
dynasty mode,
nerdy,
stolen links,
video games
What I Learned During the 09 All Star Game
While watching the Allstar game on Tuesday I realized something...baseball is dead to me.
I don't know anything about baseball outside of the Atlanta Braves, and even that is spotty at best. I didn't know just as many guys who were playing as did. In the past this would've been a sin for me, now it just tells me 2 things: 1, baseball is having a generational changeover right now and most of the stars from the 90s and early 2000s are retiring/ getting exposed for steroid abuse/ turning into marginal bit players. And 2, I could really give a fuck about baseball anymore because of ESPN's constant northeastern bias to all thing YANKS/SOX and also Mets and Phillies to the point that I never watch even a second of Baseball Tonight (a show I worshipped as a teen) and never watch a televised baseball game that does not involve Atlanta.
And so it has become official: baseball, the sport I played from 6-16 and loved even longer...the thing is obsessed over as a kid even more than Auburn football or comic books has become a sport I know nothing about and care even less. The NFL, College Football, March Madness, the NBA, & Ninja Warrior (the show on Spike TV where lil' Japanese dudes try to make it through an obstacle course) are all sports i'd rather watch than a Major League Baseball game.
And so it goes.
I don't know anything about baseball outside of the Atlanta Braves, and even that is spotty at best. I didn't know just as many guys who were playing as did. In the past this would've been a sin for me, now it just tells me 2 things: 1, baseball is having a generational changeover right now and most of the stars from the 90s and early 2000s are retiring/ getting exposed for steroid abuse/ turning into marginal bit players. And 2, I could really give a fuck about baseball anymore because of ESPN's constant northeastern bias to all thing YANKS/SOX and also Mets and Phillies to the point that I never watch even a second of Baseball Tonight (a show I worshipped as a teen) and never watch a televised baseball game that does not involve Atlanta.
And so it has become official: baseball, the sport I played from 6-16 and loved even longer...the thing is obsessed over as a kid even more than Auburn football or comic books has become a sport I know nothing about and care even less. The NFL, College Football, March Madness, the NBA, & Ninja Warrior (the show on Spike TV where lil' Japanese dudes try to make it through an obstacle course) are all sports i'd rather watch than a Major League Baseball game.
And so it goes.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Fear and Loathing In Auburn, Alabama: Predicting the 2009 Season
for the first time since Tommy Tuberville's first season Auburn fans are entering a college football season with more fear and loathing than Hunter S. Thompson on 5 hits of acid and wielding salt shaker full of cocaine.
and for good reason. on offense we've got No defined starter at QB, a thin offensive line, a bunch of useless wide receivers, and a stable of good but not elite runningbacks. on defense we replace both starting defensive tackles and 2 linebackers. we also lost our best cornerback to the draft and have a serious issue with experience among all the backups. it's no wonder that Auburn has been almost unanimously picked to finish in 5th place in the SEC West with anywhere between 5 and 7 wins for the year.
okay so worst case scenario from the experts is SEASON OF DEATH Part 2: Electric Boogaloo....and best case = a good season for Kentucky football? yeah...that's where we are right now, which is kind of insane when you think about a team that went undefeated just 5 years ago and was a top 10 team the 2 years following that and last season was predicted to win the SEC West. so did the wheels really just fall off or was last year just one of those perfect storms of FAIL that happen to almost every program every now and again?
sadly i don't have any answers.....so i went and asked a Wizard and the Wizard gave me his predictions for the 2009 Auburn Tigers Football Season:
Kodi Burns will be named the starter for the season opener following fall practices that still result in no clear cut winner at the QB position. Burns experience and athletic ability are what win him the job. Caudle however will get a chance should Burns struggle.
Week 1 vs. La Tech: Auburn plays a sloppy offensive game where Burns fails to generate any kind of a passing offense. Ben Tate however is able to generate a strong rushing attack and Auburn wracks up over 150 yards on the ground and a few touchdowns as well as some key field goals in the 4th while the defense is able to hold La Tech to just 1 touchdown and a field goal. Auburn wins 20-10. the Chizik era gets it's first win but the fans are not happy with Burns or the new offense. many cries of "the Spread is Dead" and "bench Burns" are launched from the sections of the fanbase with the attention span of a gnat.
Week 2 vs. Miss St: after a sloppy game vs. La Tech the Tigers are looking to get the Spread Eagle 2 up and running vs the seriously talent deficient Bulldogs of Mississippi State. Auburn is able to exploit State's lack of experience and their own QB problems and roll to a big victory...31-6. suddenly Auburn fans are starting to believe in Coach Chizik and the new regime.
Week 3 vs. West Fucking Virginia: following their embarrassment in Morgantown last season Auburn is looking to get some payback in 09 vs the Mountaineers. Noel Devine runs wild on the Tigers defense for almost 200 yards...but QB Jarrett Brown is a little too giving with the football and the Tiger's D is able to get some momentum killing turnovers. Burns and Tate both have big games running the football and H-Back Mario Fannin catches a touchdown pass late in the 4th as Auburn squeaks out a win 17-14. Auburn is 3-0 and has beaten a quality team...some insane people even think they'll be able to compete for the division....
Week 4 vs. Ball State: Auburn finishes up their home stand with a all out beatdown of Ball State 38-3 and Onterio McCalebb announces his presence with authority with two 50 yard + touchdown runs. Neil Caudle even gets some playing time in the 2nd half and connects with freshman DeAngelo Benton for a touchdown. Auburn is 4-0 and even i am starting to think maybe they aren't so fucking bad. the world is back to normal.....
Week 5 @ Tennessee: all those good feelings and positive vibes go down in flames as the Auburn Tigers get their asses kicked by a dominating defensive performance by the Vols. Kodi Burns throws 3 interceptions...1 of them returned for a score by Eric Berry and Tennessee's talented freshmen duo decimates the Auburn front 7. a punt return touchdown by Mario Fannin and a field goal in the 4th are Auburn's only points as the Tigers fall hard 28-10.
Week 6 @ Arkansas: reality begins to set in for Auburn fans when the Tigers get their butt's kicked again by a lethal Arkansas offense. Ryan Mallet picks the secondary apart for almost 300 yards and 3 touchdowns in the air and Michael Smith adds another score in the 4th to ice the game. Burns struggles again with 2 interceptions and 0 touchdowns. Fannin and McCalleb both cough up fumbles giving Auburn 4 turnovers on the day and only a Ben Tate touchdown and a fumble return for a score by the defense result in any points. Auburn loses 28-14. they are now 4-2 overall and 1-2 in the SEC. the fans are calling for Burns' head.
Week 7 vs. Kentucky: with Auburn back vs. a weak Kentucky team the coaches decide to make the switch and Neil Caudle is named the starter against the Wildcats. the Auburn passing game has a spark and Caudle is able to exploit the lousy Kentucky defense for 2 touchdowns. Ben Tate and Mario Fannin both add touchdowns on the ground and the defense gives a solid performance after the two bad showings on the road. Auburn wins 31-13.
Week 8 @ LSU: noone in America gives Auburn any kind of chance against LSU...but like every game in this series this one is another classic. neither defense can seem to stop either team's rushing attack and Auburn takes a 21-17 lead into the 4th quarter and drives the football down the field setting themselves up for a game clinching touchdown...unfortunately Neil Caudle throws a costly interception and LSU drives down the field for a go ahead score 24-21. Auburn has the ball back with a few minutes left and is able to get in field goal range to tie the game and send it into overtime but Wes Byrum misses a 33 yarder wide right and i throw my television out the window and swear off watching LSU games ever again.
Week 9 vs. Ole Miss: following the heart breaker to LSU the Tigers must get themselves together for a big Halloween showdown against Ole' Miss. the Rebels haven't exactly lived up to their preseason top 10 expectations but are still favored over the Tigers by 3. this is the ESPN Saturday night game and Jordan-Hare fans are rocking. Auburn gives it's best team performance of the year and shocks Ole Miss with a 20-13 upset making the Tigers bowl eligible and giving fans some hope again.
Week 10 vs. Furman: it's blowout city vs. Furman as the Tiger score 49 points and gain almost 500 yards of total offense. 7 wins and the two biggest games of the year are left.
Week 11 @ UGA: Auburn finally gets some good luck against the Dawgs who jump out to an early lead but then suddenly become turnover prone in the 2nd half allowing Auburn to get back into the the game and claim their 8th win of the year in a 31-28 nailbiter.
Week 12 vs. Alabama: the Tide are looking to start their own winning streak vs. Auburn and the Tigers are looking to avenge the embarrassment of last year's Iron Bowl. unfortunately the Tide still has an advantage in defensive talent and the Auburn offense can't seem to generate any kind of a running game. Caudle gives a solid performance but the Tigers come up short losing to the Tide 24-13.
Auburn finishes the regular season at 8-4. (4-4 in the SEC/ tied for 4th in the West with Ole Miss) and earns a trip to Atlanta to play North Carolina in the Chik-Fil-A bowl. Auburn fans are mostly happy with the way this season went and optimism is high for 2010.
So yeah, that's what my optimistic Wizard friend told me...what are your predictions?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
He's Your Problem Now, New York
so i am gonna just go ahead and say it. Frank Wren totally just pulled a motherfucking Jedi Mind Trick on the New York Mets.
"You want our strikeout prone slumping right fielder to create a blackhole in your lineup that keeps you from getting into the playoffs."
"We want your strikeout prone slumping right fielder to create a blackhole in our lineup that keeps us from getting into the playoffs."
so what if Atlanta got the Mets version of Jeff Francoeur in exchange...at least he's finally gone.
truly though, that's gotta be the strangest trade in Atlanta Braves history.
Labels:
Baseball,
Braves,
new york can eat a dick,
trades,
you suck
Friday, July 10, 2009
Who Wants To Bet Me that Ole' Miss Is Going 7-5?
i've been meaning to post about this all week but i was busy.
so Cari dropped this knowledge to me via email that she got a press release informing her that the Ole' Miss Rebels would be taking part in a reality TV show.
the main quote:
USSE has been contracted by TruTV to develop this show about the personalities and daily occurrences of the Ole Miss Football team. Focus will be on the trials and tribulations of current and incoming student athletes as they try to make the starting team. Returning upper classmen must fend off the challenge of the "new kids on the block."
The show will also revolve around the personalities of Head Coach Houston Nutt and his assistants. The audience will get a glimpse of the on-field and behind the scenes action, getting up front and personal with the coaches and players. Shooting will take place during the summer training camp period.
can you say distraction?
i mean i know Ole Miss is everybody's hip pick to be a top 10 team and maybe win the SEC West but does anyone remember that they are OLE FUCKING MISS...a team that hasn't won an SEC title since 1963 and is the ONLY team in the West that's never even been to an SEC championship game (yeah even Mississippi State was able to pull that off once). they are also a team that is coached by Houston Nutt...who does fine job as a darkhorse that kinda comes out of nowhere but isn't really big on living up to expectations. if you are betting on the Rebels winning the West this year then i will gladly take your money from you. i think they'll win 8 games...MAX and be lucky if they don't end up in 4th place behind LSU, Bama, and Arkansas.
Positive Vibes Friday: Bye Bye Buddy System
this Saturday, my friends (and one of the more fun and entertaining Athens bands) the Buddy System is calling it quits. sad sad sad. the cartoon rockers are gonna bring their animation-pop one last time on Saturday night @ The Caledonia, so come out and have some cartoon style fun. and hey you might get to see me do "Party Hard" with them again too.
Labels:
athens,
local shows,
music,
positive vibes friday
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
File This Under: AUful Ideas (wow, what a bad headline)
Jerry beat me to the punch...but i still gotta get my 2 cents in.
via Auburntron who went all crazy with NCAA 2010's uniform builder and created these would-be alternate unis fo our beloved Tigers. seriously, I HATE ALTERNATE uniforms more than i hated late 90s Faux-Grunge (Creed, Bush, STP, etc...) and i hated that bullshit a lot. still it's a good idea of what life would be like if NIKE ran our team like they do with Oregon. speaking of which....
WHY?
via Auburntron who went all crazy with NCAA 2010's uniform builder and created these would-be alternate unis fo our beloved Tigers. seriously, I HATE ALTERNATE uniforms more than i hated late 90s Faux-Grunge (Creed, Bush, STP, etc...) and i hated that bullshit a lot. still it's a good idea of what life would be like if NIKE ran our team like they do with Oregon. speaking of which....
WHY?
Labels:
college football,
NOOOOOOOO,
uniforms,
War Fucking Eagle
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Maybe I Should Delete These Kids From My Facebook Friends List
things i've learned from our incoming Freshmen QBs via their Facebook pages that i honestly would rather not know.
Tyrik Rollison is obsessed with all the fake Tyrik Rollison profiles that exist on facebook and posts about it about 10 times a day begging for Auburn fans to "do something about it".
Clint Mosely is just as pissed off and emo as i was at 18 and will freely share that he doesn't feel good, hates practice, and is sick and tired of workouts. not that i blame him... i spent the summer after my senior year doing drugs and getting wasted, not having to learn a playbook and lifting weights...so i feel his emo pain.
Mario Fannin on the other hand is ALL PARTY ALL THE TIME. seriously i want to hangout with that dude, he seems fucking awesome.
Tyrik Rollison is obsessed with all the fake Tyrik Rollison profiles that exist on facebook and posts about it about 10 times a day begging for Auburn fans to "do something about it".
Clint Mosely is just as pissed off and emo as i was at 18 and will freely share that he doesn't feel good, hates practice, and is sick and tired of workouts. not that i blame him... i spent the summer after my senior year doing drugs and getting wasted, not having to learn a playbook and lifting weights...so i feel his emo pain.
Mario Fannin on the other hand is ALL PARTY ALL THE TIME. seriously i want to hangout with that dude, he seems fucking awesome.
Labels:
facebook,
i should get a life,
War Fucking Eagle
Monday, July 6, 2009
Lula, whatchu doin?
as if it wasn't totally obvious before, i love my damn dogs.
this weekend we spent 2 exhaustive days grillin' out, drinking, swimming in the lake, going to a strange block party that consisted of the worlds worst Singer/DJ doing casio keyboard covers of rock n roll classics from the 60s and 70s with the wrong lyrics, and generally being surrounded by all the things that make redneck culture both retarded and awesome. anyways, hope you had a good 4th of July yourself.
tomorrow i gotta get on my job of promoting a music video, so who knows if or when i'll get around to doing my PRE-SEASON Auburn football predictions.
I Loved Me Some Air McNair
Steve McNair's greatest moment came in a loss in the Super Bowl on the final drive as he escapes both Rams' defensive ends, breaks a tackle and fires a bullet to Kevin Dyson. and in Spanish no less....
the very next play the Titans came up inches short of completing the greatest game winning drive in history (yeah, fuck John Elway and Big Ben). i was rooting hard for Tennessee in this game, not because i was much of a Titans fan...but because i always loved Steve McNair from back during his college days. ESPN would randomly show some Alcorn State games during his final college season and i'd always check him out. if the Titans don't retire his number in week 1 then i will be shocked.
stay away from crazy women.
the very next play the Titans came up inches short of completing the greatest game winning drive in history (yeah, fuck John Elway and Big Ben). i was rooting hard for Tennessee in this game, not because i was much of a Titans fan...but because i always loved Steve McNair from back during his college days. ESPN would randomly show some Alcorn State games during his final college season and i'd always check him out. if the Titans don't retire his number in week 1 then i will be shocked.
stay away from crazy women.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The Best Use Of Basketball and R&B Together, EVER
it's rare that you even see a video anymore and when said video melts your brain...or other things...well it needs to be shared.
i already know what my top pick for video of the year in 2009 is gonna be.
i already know what my top pick for video of the year in 2009 is gonna be.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Are the Braves Making A Run?
this was supposed to be the point of the season that killed Atlanta. series vs the Yankees, The Red Sox (twice), and The Phillies were gonna bury any chance the Braves had at the division and turn them into sellers at the trade deadline...and somehow someway they find themselves just 2 games behind Philadelphia after sweeping them in 3 straight. WTF? Atlanta is 6-4 in their last 10 and has a 4 game win streak and is heading into a weekend series with the worst team in baseball, The Washington Nationals.
The Phils on the other hand start a series against the Mets who aren't exactly on a hot streak lately. and to be honest neither of those teams looks built to win shit, their pitching staffs are both weaker than Atlanta's (esp with rookie superstar Tommy Hanson exceeding every one's expectations so far). The Marlins look like the Braves' real competition by virtue of having a young team with some good pitching and some solid bats in the order. and that's Atlanta's real problem...they may have the top pitching staff in the NL East right now, but hitting wise they are 4th and some nights 5th in the division. McClouth, McCann, and Chipper are the only guys you can really trust in that order and Garrett Anderson has decided to finally show up to a few games now and again and Matt Diaz does what he can. Escobar continues to show flashed that he might someday be a great players mixed in with moments where you wish that raft he came to on from Cuba might have been eaten by sharks instead.
i don't really know what to think about Atlanta's recent climb in the standings...mostly it just tells me that the NL East is a fucking joke and the only way the Braves are making the playoffs is to win this shitty division outright. but honestly, can you tell me that they don't have a chance? i don't think so.
Positive Vibes Friday: Happy Birthday America!
sorry Marvin, i gotta give Jimi the top spot for most awesome version of "the Star Spangled Banner" fueled by god knows how much fucking acid. who says drugs never did anything good for this country?
have a great 4th of July weekend, gang. i'm heading to the lake with my dogs and my lady. a solid weekend of drinking, cooking out, listening to classic rock out of the cab of my old man's pick up truck while i hang out next to the lake and watch the rednecks do their awesome redneck things. just a nice little reminder why America kicks ass...even in the middle of a depression.
have a great 4th of July weekend, gang. i'm heading to the lake with my dogs and my lady. a solid weekend of drinking, cooking out, listening to classic rock out of the cab of my old man's pick up truck while i hang out next to the lake and watch the rednecks do their awesome redneck things. just a nice little reminder why America kicks ass...even in the middle of a depression.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Names and Numbers
Auburn By Beaver (who pays way more attention to Auburn Football than i could ever be bothered to do) has the jersey numbers of all the new Tigers listed on his blog. this is valuable if you are an OCD suffering NCAA Football addict such as myself and you like to have everything as accurate as possible for your little alternate reality video game world. it's also a good place to find out what jersey number is going to be the most popular to be sold at Tiger Rags before gameday. i give it til week 3 before you start seeing everyone in town rocking #17's like it's going out of style. i also suspect that #3, #21, #23 will be hot items this year as well.
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