Showing posts with label I Hate Matt Ryan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I Hate Matt Ryan. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Fucknuts McWhitey Era Begins


so i neglected to comment on this sooner, mostly because i've been trying to ignore the Atlanta Falcons this entire preseason, but new coach Mike Smith has named Matt Fucking Ryan (aka Fucknuts McWhitey) as the Falcons' starter for the opener. what seemed like a potential 4 win club now will dip down towards the 2 win mark. Ryan becomes the first rookie QB to be his team's starter from Day 1 of his career since David Carr...and let us all nod and smile at how awesome that worked out for the Texans. i shouldn't even give a shit because the turds Ryan had in front of him aren't worth taking up a roster spot on most any team in the NFL, so i'm sure Ryan probably WAS the best option. and there are of course those experts who believe it's better to learn on the field than on the sidelines. whatever, i think i've pretty well documented my raging hatred for the drafting and overpaying of this very ordinary looking young QB from Boston College (the team nooone cares about). i guess the sooner Matt Ryan is on the field then the sooner he can go ahead and be a bust and the Falcons can move on to some other shitty QB. thank god i care more about college football than the NFL.

anyways this clip of Ryan getting lit up by Clemson will likely be a common site for Falcons' fans this season.

on a side note: what do you think the the over/under is on number of years before before Griggs makes Matt Ryan his fantasy QB?

some more random thoughts on ole' Fucknuts
- The Falcons have taken away the spot of goofiest ass starting QB away from The Colts.
- when people praise Ryan for his poise and leadership they are really saying, "i'm so glad he isn't some black thug like that last one."
- Matt Ryan threw 19 interceptions as a senior last season. George Blanda holds the record for interceptions in one season with 42. and as much as i'd like to say our boy could equal that stat if given the opportunity i don't actually see it happening. seriously, 42 fucking picks. can you even fathom that?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

6 years, 72 Million Dollars



6 years, 72 million dollars. did we get a new offensive line for that?

6 years, 72 million dollars. for a rookie quarterback. Jesus.

6 YEARS, 72 MILLION DOLLARS! FOR A GODDAMN OVERRATED SHITTY ROOKIE QB WHO THREW 19 PICKS HIS SENIOR YEAR!

6 FUCKING YEARS, 72 MILLION FUCKING AMERICAN (thank god it wasn't canadian money) DOLLARS!!!! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!

i hate you Falcons.

i mean seriously, the guy makes more money than Tom fucking Brady. didn't the Falcons hire Tom Dimitroff from the Patriots hoping he'd use some of those famous Pats front office smarts to build us a winner? and what has he done but throw a shit ton of money at a career backup runningback and a rookie qb. it would be fucking funny if it wasn't so goddamn sad.

but seriously the NFL needs a fucking rookie salary cap the same way the NBA has one. if you sign a top 5 pick who is a quarterback your franchise is completely fucked unless you've already got some talent on your team (which the Falcons did a good job of getting rid of in the off season). so yeah, i hope Matt Ryan enjoys counting all that cash while the Falcons come in last place the next six years.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Oh Yeah, This Is Fucking Perfect


OF COURSE Matt Ryan is gonna be the goddamn cover athlete for the PS3 version of NCAA Football 2009! am i totally retarded to say that the fact McFadden is on the Xbox 360 version is making me lean closer to buying an Xbox 360 over a PS3?! that's the level of hatred i have for Ryan. this kid is gonna start haunting my fucking dreams.

Monday, April 28, 2008

WORST. DRAFT. EVER.



today we few remaining members of Falcons Nation (not affiliated with the National Association of Falconry) are in a state of mourning following this weekends NFL Draft. such high hopes and endless possibility crushed by the weight of lousy picks and a scared front office, too chicken shit to take the best/most marketable player (McFadden) or the safest/smartest pick (Dorsey), and instead go with the overrated QB who wouldn't have even been the top rated passer in any of the last 10 drafts (that includes bust worthy QBs David Carr, Joey Harrington, Tim Couch, Akili Smith, Alex Smith, etc...)that all the east coast media dickheads think is a winner and has character.

uggghhh....if i ever hear the word character being used as the foundation for winning football games again i might start shooting people. the Cowboys have never seemed to get all caught up in bullshit adjectives like character. i mean they had fucking Michael Irving for fucksake...how'd that work out for them? football players win football games. do you believe the Falcons got the best players that were available? i sure as shit don't.

and it wasn't just Ryan, there were reaches all over the goddamn place. they took Sam Baker from USC with a 1st round pick that they got by trading two of their 2nd round picks. picks that they got from Houston and Oakland in the Matt Schuab and De'Angelo Hall trades...so basically they traded Hall and Schuab for Sam Baker...a guy who honestly they could of gotten in the 2nd round. good job. and then there were some of the other players to boggle the mind....

....like Curtis Lofton, a linebacker from Oklahoma. let's see, this is what Scout's Inc. had to say about Mr. Lofton, "Lofton isn't going to wow you with his natural ability; he doesn't have great speed and lacks the athletic ability to match up with running backs in man coverage." Wow! sounds awesome. considering he plays for Oklahoma and i've never really heard about him, despite watching a number of their games last season, i am gonna go ahead and assume he probably wasn't worth a 2nd round pick. they also took a couple of more linebackers i've never heard of, a tight end from LSU who didn't even start, a corner from Arizona that i remember watching get toasted in a couple of games last year, and a safety from California that can't cover. AWESOME. championship season in 3 years. i'm calling it now.

okay, let's play a game called: Alternate Reality Falcons Draft Some Good Players That Could Contribute Soon And Won't End Up Getting Cut or On Someone's Practice Squad.

here are the picks and then the picks that coulda been if i was making them:

Round 1: Drafted Matt Ryan. QB, Boston College.

coulda taken: Glenn Dorsey. DT, LSU.

if you are hung up on character, Dorsey had it in spades, plus unlike Mr. Ryan who gets called a "winner" without having actually won anything, Dorsey helped lead the LSU Tigers to the BCS Championship game and was also a member of the team that destroyed Notre Dame in Sugar Bowl the year before. sounds like a winner to me. not to mention he can stuff the run AND make plays in the backfield, something that Mike Smith knew a lot about with Jacksonville. last time i heard, Defense Wins Championships...not overrated QBs who won't be any good for a couple of years at best. but whatever, i've said enough about this.

Round 1: Drafted Sam Baker. OT, USC.

coulda taken: Brian Brohm. QB, Louisville.

i don't actually think Baker was a bad pick, just where they took him and what they gave up to get him was what i had a problem with. i wouldn't have cared as much if Atlanta would've traded up and taken Brohm, a QB who i actually believe will be a good pro. going into this season he was thought of as the number 1 QB in the country and would have actually been a 1st round pick in last year's draft if he'd left school early, but his stock was hurt because his team sucked more so than what he did. it's not his fault that his defense couldn't stop anyone. he still put up great stats and looked like a 1st round pick to me. he has an injury history, but i think it's worth the risk. he is a smart kid, played in a pro style offense and makes better decisions with the ball than Ryan did. he doesn't have a cannon for an arm, but then again neither does Tom Brady, what he does have is a good mind and an accurate arm and that's enough to be successful in the NFL. but honestly they could have probably gotten Baker with one of their picks at the beginning of the 2nd round and also taken Brohm with a 2nd round pick as well. solving their QB and Tackle problems without giving up as much as they did.

Round 2: Drafted Curtis Lofton. ILB, Oklahoma

coulda had: Quentin Groves. DE/OLB, Auburn.

okay this is a pick made of personal bias, but let's be honest Groves is gonna be a sack artist in the NFL. he's faster than any of the other ends taken in the draft and will be a great outside linebacker at the next level. he has problems stuffing the run sometimes, but he is a playmaker in the pass rush. i predict he'll be a star sooner than later.

Round 3: Drafted Chevis Jackson. CB, LSU.

coulda had: Tavaris Gooden. ILB, Miami.

i actually have no problem with this pick. Jackson will be able to help out as a nickleback, but i think Gooden could be the perfect replacement for Keith Brooking at middle linebacker. he's kinda weak against the run, but he's a hell of an athlete and can make plays against the pass, plus we was part of the 7th Floor Crew at the U and so if it doesn't work out for him with the Falcons, he might be able to contribute to the Atlanta Rap scene.

Round 3: Drafted Harry Douglas. WR, Louisville.

best pick the Falcons made, he can come in a play the slot. has good hands. and if the Falcons had taken Brohm it would make sense to also take his favorite target. i'll leave this one alone.

Round 3: Drafted Thomas Decloud. S, California.

coulda taken: Justin King. CB, Penn State.

so if they hadn't taken Jackson they would have needed to sure up that nickleback spot and King is the best Corner available at this point. the kid has amazing speed and could be a returner as well. at one point he was projected as a 1st round pick, but slipped after the combine. i know nothing about DeCloud other than the fact he's slow and played for a shitty Cal team.

Round 5: Drafted Robert James. OLB, Arizona State.

coulda taken: Frank Okam. DT, Texas.

James is an undersized linebacker who plays for Arizona State...this means i think he sucks. Okam however is a former 5 star recruit at Texas who underachieved a lot in college, but has great size and showed the ability to stuff the run. could be a bit of a project, but could develop into a great tackle...especially when paired with Glenn Dorsey.

Round 5: Drafted Kroy Biermann. OLB, Montana.

coulda taken: Owen Schmidt. FB, West Fucking Virginia.

never fucking heard of this guy before. he could be Lawrence Taylor all i know. i do know who Owen Schmidt is. Schmidt is a beast-like man-creature with a mohawk who breaks his face mask and hits himself in the face with his helmet when he messes up. if Atlanta wants to take on Jacksonville's power running style they need a solid fullback. i think Schmidt is the last of his kind. a true blocking fullback with size and speed and he can catch just for good measure. i think he will be a probowler and he'd become a fan favorite.

Round 6: Drafted Thomas Brown. RB, Georgia.

again i have no problem with this pick. he's a hometown kid. he'd add some depth behind Norwood and Turner. he can return kicks and he might end up becoming a legit weapon in a couple of seasons. plus he played for the Dogs, so why the fuck not take a chance in the 6th round on him.

Round 7: Drafted Wilrey Fontenot. CB, Arizona.

coulda taken: King Dunlap. OT, Auburn

i saw Fotnenot get fucking toasted in a couple of games last year. this guy can't play in the NFL and i'll be surprised if he even makes the team. Dunlap is a bit of a project. he got beat out by a true freshman last year at Auburn, but he's a fucking giant at 6 foot 9 and 310 pounds. could be a good right tackle in a few years. with that kinda frame he's worth a 7th rounder. plus he's another Auburn player and i'm a homer.

Round 7: Drafted Keith Zinger. TE, LSU.

coulda taken: Mario Urrutia. WR, Louisville.

okay this completes transformation into the Atlanta Cardinals...but seriously he's worth the pick. Urrutia was thought of as a 2nd or 3rd round pick but slipped because of injury. he's got incredible size and speed and is a steal in the 7th round. he's big enough to play some tight end, and would be the perfect red zone threat. Zinger didn't even start for LSU last year. i call this one a no brainer.

anyways i am no scout or draft expert...all i do is watch a shit ton of college football and pray for the best when it comes to the Falcons and their draft, but i think you'd a have a hard time telling me that my draft board doesn't look a hell of a lot better than the one that Atlanta put together.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

they aren't saying "Boo!" they are saying "FUCK YOU!"


so with Glenn Dorsey, the player the fans wanted, available you stupid fuckers decide to go with "Matty Ice" instead and keep this franchise where it always has been and always will be, at the bottom. i had such high hopes going into today and when Chris Long got drafted by the Rams i knew Dorsey was coming to the Dome. but i guess Arthur Blank had his way and we get the smiley faced cracker ass north eastern QB who throws tons of picks, has a terrible rating, and looks like the second coming of David Carr. it would seem the Falcons are more interested in listening to douchebags like Todd McShay and Peter King who like to use words like "winner" when describing Ryan. really? what the fuck did that guy ever win? a Champs Sports Bowl is about all i can remember. did he ever win a championship? not that i am aware of. i remember him getting his ass kicked by Virginia Tech in the ACC Championship game. does that equal winner to you?

i'm too old and i'm tired of rooting for loser dickheads who could give a fuck what their fans want. you coulda had Dorsey, you coulda had McFadden, you coulda fucking traded the pick to Dallas for 2 first rounders and added some goddamn depth. go to Hell Arthur Blank, you pimp looking fuckwad. i am never shopping at Home Depot again
whatever, fuck Matt Ryan! and fuck the Atlanta Falcons! i am jumping teams. i've had it with this fucking bullshit.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Draft Anxiety Is Gettin' The Best Of Me


i can't remember the last time i was so looking forward to/dreading an NFL draft. sure i was really excited when 4 Auburn Tigers went in the 1st round a few years back...but this draft is all about my Atlanta Falcons and how they're finally gonna put together a descent group of kids that lifts them from the bottom of the heap and into the promised land of back to back winning seasons and regular playoff trips (oh to dream). either that or they're gonna draft Matt Ryan and i'm gonna be burning his jersey in effigy in a few seasons while he's throwing his fifth pick in a blowout loss to the New Orleans Saints. with any luck Dorsey is still there and the Falcons build a team around a solid defensive front...but if he's gone i'm praying Atlanta trades their pick with the Ravens and then drafts Sedric Ellis or the best lineman available. but hey, it's Atlanta. it ain't like they're known for doing the smart thing. and just so you know, and this is the last time i say it, when i look at Matt Ryan i don't see a Manning...i see Tim Couch.

if Atlanta really wants a QB, just take whoever the hell is available in the 2nd round and hope for the best. it's cheaper than the alternative and if that doesn't work out there's always the hometown kid of Matt Stafford that they can take in a couple of years. i might not like Stafford, but i'm willing to bet he'll be a better pro than "Matty Ice" and the fans of Atlanta will at least be excited about rooting for the kid.

other hopes for this draft regarding Atlanta:
i'd like to see them pick up Auburn's Pat Sims with one their second round picks...especially if they fail to land Dorsey or Ellis in the 1st round. i wanna see lots of offensive lineman getting taken, like at least 3...but possibly 4. a playmaking tight end wouldn't be bad either. JerMichael Finely of Texas will likely be around in the 4th or 5th round. he's got good size, pretty descent speed and ball catching ability, but he's not much of a blocker. he seems like the kinda player that could blossom into a probowler in a couple of years if used properly. honestly though if this kid wouldn't have left early (he's a redshirt sophomore) he'd be a first rounder in 2009 or 2010. other than that just load up on kids who can play sooner than later and start 'em off all together. let 'em lose together. let 'em learn together. let 'em turn into a team together. just build a foundation that this goddamn pathetic Shakespearean Tragedy of an NFL franchise can rise up from the ashes on...please.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

An Open Letter To The Atlanta Falcons regarding the draft.


Dear Falcons,

my name is Justin Robinson. i am a long suffering fan of your shitty excuse for an NFL franchise. i understand that you have the number 3 pick in this years NFL draft and i was just letting you know that i would really appreciate it if you guys didn't fuck that up like you are inclined to do in most years. last year's draft was a fucking joke (Jamal Anderson and Chris Houston...really?) and so with 4 of the top 48 picks you guys have a lot of making up to do.

now i was really excited about the possibility of the 3rd pick a few months ago. i had visions of Darren McFadden dancing in my head, tearing up the Dome and making us all forget about Mike Vick....but like a bunch of pussies you ended up signing Michael Turner to a long term deal and sending a clear shot across the bow of your fan base that you could give a fuck what we want, we aren't getting McFadden.

and so that is when THE FEAR struck me. and by THE FEAR i mean the nightmares that have me waking in the middle of the night when Atlanta uses the 3rd pick in the draft to select Boston College QB Matt Ryan and sets the franchise back another decade or so. for the life of me i couldn't even begin to understand the fascination in Ryan and honestly it's starting to be a joke how much i blindly hate the kid...because in all honesty if he wasn't on the Falcons' radar then i really wouldn't give a flying fuck what happened to him. but the thought of that guy becoming an Atlanta Falcon is enough to make me switch teams. and i don't mean go gay (which by the way, isn't Todd McShay's love affair with Matt Ryan starting to seem more like a homosexual crush more than a scout thinking a guy is gonna be an NFL star? just saying.) what i mean is if Atlanta drafts Ryan with the third pick then i am no longer going to root for the Falcons anymore. it's a thankless process to begin with...instead i will hitch my loyalties to either the Tennessee Titans or the Jacksonville Jaguars...depending on who i see more games of next season, and then that'll be it. i will break up with the Falcons forever and it would take a Super Bowl run to win me back.

your friend,

justin