Who Got Them Heismans? (the contenders)

so, we are 4 games into the college football season and honestly the Heisman race is still totally up for grabs. which is refreshing considering Troy Smith had that shit wrapped up after week 1. Heisman hype ain't what it's cracked up to be. John David Booty (one of the early frontrunners) is all but out of the race despite the fact he is the QB at USC. when you have that many fucking runningbacks though who would bother throwing? so with Booty out...despite the best efforts of booties4booty.com, that leaves us about 5 likely candidates who'll be getting the invite to New York at seasons end.

THE LONG SHOT

Colt Brennan, QB Hawaii

Brennan's stats after only playing in 3 games are 1262 yards passing, 12 touchdowns vs 1 interception, and 4 rushing touchdowns. if he played for ANY school in a BCS conference it would just be a waiting game until they handed him the thing at the end of the year, but because noone gets to see him play and he is on a team that throws the ball 85% of the time then he's got zero chance. it's possible that if Hawaii runs the table and Brennan throws for about 65 touchdowns that he may have an outside shot of winning the Heisman, more than likely he'll finish a distant 4th in the voting but will probably get invited to the ceremony.

THE SENIOR

Mike Hart, RB Michigan

after passing up the money and staying in school for his senior year so that he could try and win a national title, Mike Hart was instantly a Heisman frontrunner. and then a funny thing happened. Michigan fell flat on their face...but Hart remained the loan bright spot on a struggling team. even with the Wolverines losing to Appy State and Oregon, Hart played his ass off and refused to lay down and die. he almost destroyed Notre Dame all on his own. and carried Michigan on his back in an upset victory over Penn State. all the puns about him being the "Heart" of Michigan are both trite and totally fucking gay, but Mike Hart literally is carrying a wounded Michigan team that had to gnaw it's paw off to escape from a bear trap on his back. if they can win the Big 10 i can't possibly imagine anyone else winning the Heisman who would deserve it more. i love to hate on the Big 10, but Mike Hart is everything you would ever want out of a college football player. his numbers are also pretty impressive, 655 yards rushing (leads the NCAA) and 6 touchdowns.

THE FAVORITE

Darren McFadden, RB Arkansas

despite the best efforts of Houston Nutt to ruin the Razorback's season by losing games they should win, D-Mac is still the favorite to win the Heisman. he's the best runningback in the country in the conference best known for punishing runners. he's Mr. All-Everything. he can play quarterback. he can return kicks. he can make even the best SEC defence look like a Big East team on any given Saturday. he'll probably end the year with close to 2000 yards rushing and 20+ touchdowns. he'll be the number one pick in next year's draft. he'll end up being more popular than Reggie Bush, because he'll dominate the NFL. he is a living college football legend. all he needs is that Heisman to join Hershel Walker and Bo Jackson in the ring of the greatest SEC runningbacks in history. plus he has a pimp ass ride. i don't care if the Hogs go 6-6, give this man his fucking trophy and let's get it over with.

NEXT YEAR'S WINNER

Tim Tebow, QB Florida

no Sophomore has ever won the Heisman Trophy, and that's not gonna change this year...but Tebow's 2008 Heisman campaign is basically underway right now. Tim Tebow has done two things that amaze me, number 1...he's made me love a Florida quarterback and 2...he's made the fact Florida has no runningbacks completely irrelevant. if you can tell me that you wouldn't want this kid leading your team on Saturdays then you are either a liar or a moron. he's the manbeast, destroying opposing linebackers and bringing football back to the glory days of the 1930s. just run forward and destroy.

THE NEXT VICK

Pat White, QB West Fucking Virginia

he is, without a doubt, one of the most exciting players to watch in all of college football. he's got the speed of a wide receiver and the ability to make throws if he needs to. he's the ultimate video game like weapon. his stats are 617 yards passing and 6 touchdowns combined with nearly 300 yards rushing and another 6 touchdowns. more than likely he'll finish this year with over a 1000 yards rushing and 2000 yards passing and about 35 combined touchdowns. he has the ability to take over a game at anytime and win it by himself. he's like a mini-Vince Young with Mike Vick's speed. unfortunately he splits Heisman attention with his teammate Steve Slaton, should Slaton leave early then i fully expect White to be the frontrunner, along with Tebow, next year.

some darkhorses:
Andre Woodson, QB Kentucky (will likely be out of it once Ketucky returns to reality and starts losing to everyone in the SEC)

Sam Bradford, QB Oklahoma (is a freshman...no way a freshman QB would ever win the Heisman)

Dennis Dixon, QB Oregon (had a star making game against Michigan. if he can beat USC then don't be surprised if he ends up in New York...plus he's got the best highlight of this season to put on his resume')


DeSean Jackson, WR California (he's an electrifying player and he will probably end up a finalist...but WR's are never really a threat to win the Heisman unless they play for Michigan)

Ray Rice, RB Rutgers (great back, plays on an overrated team that will lose a couple of games and then Rice will have to console himself with his millions of dollars from the NFL when he leaves school early for the draft this year)

Matt Ryan, QB Boston College (great player, could be a 1st round pick, unfortunately plays for a school that noone fucking gives a shit about)

who is out of the running:

John David Booty, QB USC (hasn't even bothered showing up for the race this season. came in as an odds on favorite, his receivers haven't really stepped up for him and so USC has mostly just used their 8 millions runningbacks to dominate teams. Booty will have to settle for a title instead)

Brian Brohm, QB Louisville (how does a guy with 1697 yards passing and 15 touchdowns after only 4 games fall out of the Heisman race? losing to Kentucky and Syracuse back to back weeks will do that to you. oh well, Brohm will be a top 5 pick. Heisman QBs never do shit in the pros anyways.)

Colt McCoy, QB Texas (the Horns have struggled and McCoy hasn't looked the same since getting hurt last year against Texas A&M. look for him to bounce back next year and be a contender)

if they gave me a Heisman vote, my ballot would look this.

1. Darren McFadden, Arkansas RB
2. Tim Tebow, Florida QB
3. Pat White, West Virginia QB
4. Mike Hart, Michigan RB
5. Colt Brennan, Hawaii QB
6. DeSean Jackson, Cal WR
7. Sam Bradford, Oklahoma QB