Suicide Watch Week 5

ah, here it is friends. the first game of the season where i am 100% sure Auburn is going to be beaten within an inch of their lives by an SEC rival in a bloodlust revenge game. Tubby and crew head down to the Swamp to face Tebow The Destroyed and his 2Fast 2Furious receiving corp and midget runningbacks and whatnot.

if Auburn had any kind of offence to speak of, besides QB keeper to Kodi Burns or off tackle right by Ben Tate, then i could hope and pray for a good game...but alas, when it comes to the 2007 Auburn Tigers they really don't know their ass from a whole in the ground. it's possible that the 50+ point ass kicking they put on hapless New Mexico State could have maybe/possibly/hopefully awakened a sleeping and talented yet under performing giant...but i live in reality. this is gonna be at least a 3 touchdown loss. especially with a banged up defence. Tebow could rack up more yards on the ground than he does in the air. and Cox will likely be carted off the field on a stretcher because he's cowering in fear after the defence picks him off for the 5th time of the day. this is of course what i call a BEST CASE SCENARIO.

Florida has the kind of talent to drop 50 on the Tigers and don't think Urban Meyer wouldn't do it in a second to make up for the loan blemish on their championship season last year.

but there is that one small glimmer of hope that i keep in the back of my mind that reminds me that THIS IS THE SEC and ANYBODY CAN BEAT ANYBODY ON ANY RANDOM ASS SATURDAY. some people call this upset alert. i call it Southern Justice.

Potential for tragedy: 9 (i call this one a solid lock that i am gonna have a very very long Saturday. 18 Miller Lite's can't possibly wash away all the pain i will feel inside)

method of suicide: take some pills and drift slowly into oblivian as the Gators go up by 40. suicide is painless.