An Open Letter To Jake Plummer...and his Mustache

Dear Jake Plummer,

My name is Justin Robinson. I am an unfortunate and tragic fan of the Atlanta Falcons. You may or may not have heard, but currently our franchise quarterback is about to go on trial for dog fighting and more or less his ass has been run out of town. As it stands we are now left with Joey Harrington and some scrubs at the position. there's even been talk of bringing in Aaron Rogers (another fucking Tedfordbot like Harrington and Kyle Bowler...fuck that dude). We were just wondering if it would be at all possible to get you to come out of retirement and get Tampa Bay to trade you north to Atlanta. I have followed your career since your senior year at Arizona State where you lead the Sun Devils to a Rose Bowl appearance. You were one of the most exciting players in college football. Running around like a fool and making amazing plays and earning the nickname Jake The Snake (well that was already someone else's name...but who cares). Bill Walsh even called you "the next Joe Montana". unfortunately you spent your early years in the NFL tearing it up for the Cardinals and performing amazing feats such as throwing a pass with your left hand and getting leveled by linebackers after your 4th interception of the game. but still you were totally awesome to watch and if i am gonna be asked as a fan of the Falcons to endure a losing season, I'd at least like to have a QB behind center who could make me care about the fact that yeah we were gonna lose...but goddamnit we were gonna fucking lose with some style. Jake Plummer, Atlanta Needs You. And Your Mustache.

thanks.

your pal,

justin