if there's one thing about me that everyone should know, it's that i make a lot of useless pointless lists. i make lists about everything. favorite songs to fuck to. 10 best deaths in a horror movie. greatest things that bill clinton said about not getting a blowjob from a chubby girl......anyways sports is not immune to this affliction and what better way to get ready for the college football season than to do a Top 10 list of the best uniforms in the college game. there is nothing scientific in my process, it's all about 3 things really...classicness (is that a word?), color scheme, and does it look cool. there's definitely a bias towards traditional teams and the simpler the better is what i believe...blah blah blah. anyways here we go....
The Top 10 Best Uniforms In College Football
1. Penn State
do you remember how all the food items in the movie Repo Man had white labels with bold black type that read either "food" or "beer"...well that's basically what Penn State's uniforms are. it's so simple and pure, it just feels like old school college football. no logos, just white helmets and navy blue jerseys. it's like they came out of a a box that just said "football uniforms". i may kinda hate old Joe Pa "the undead", but i love the Penn State unis. totally fucking awesome.
Oh Texas, you fucking football mecca. the Longhorns are such a close second to Penn State with that burnt orange and white uniform that i almost put them as number one. if Penn State has the best uniform then Texas has the best logo in all of sports. the simple iconic steer. it just feels like Texas. extra points are given to the Longhorns for beating USC in the national title game and making ESPN look like jackasses for crowning that Trojan team as the greatest college football team of all time before actually playing the Horns in the National Championship game.
Maize and blue, best Helmet design ever, never change a thing Michigan...i may hate you and your lousy coach, but you gotta give it up for those uniforms.
not much to really say about the Trojans other than great colors, great logo, great school mascot...and bonus points for having the best cheerleaders in football. oh song girls, how we love thee.
5. Florida State
something about that Garnette and gold just does it for me, best uniforms in the south. i know, fucking blasphemy from an SEC fan...what can i say? although i agree these uniforms look better when FSU isn't sucking it up on the field. negative points go out for the all black unis and those fucking green ones that they broke out last year. ughhhh.
Look a poll that BAMA can get a top 10 ranking in. Sorry Mike. anyways it pains me to admit this, especially as an Auburn Fan, but BAMA has some goddamn fine lookin' uniforms. almost as perfect and simple as Penn State...but with an even better color scheme. Classic. it screams college football and tradition. my only real problem was when they let the players put their names on the back of the jersey. if they'd drop the names then BAMA would slide back into the top 5.
7. Notre Dame
the blue and gold is iconic and simple, like all great traditional powers. unfortunately Notre Dame might not be able to hang on the same field as the other elite teams in college football, but they sure as hell look good while they are getting their asses kicked.
go big red. that uniform looks so much better when it's running a quarterback option. if i was a Huskers fan i'd probably have killed myself by now after Bill Callahan destroyed our proud program. what a fucking douche. i think Rich Rodriguez is gonna end up coaching at Nebraska in about 2 years. just a hunch.
who cares if they ripped that G off from the Packers...it looks better in red anyways. if sort of kills me that the two best uniforms in the SEC belong to Auburn's biggest rivals, but hey i can admit it.
rounding out the top 10 are the Auburn Tigers. call me a homer if you want but the Tigers road uniform is one of the best looks in college football. All white with the navy and orange trim and that interlocking AU is one of the best letter logos in football. the navy home jersey is great too, but something about the all white just looks a little more stylish.
anyways that's my top 10. you may agree, you probably don't. i'm planning on consulting with a fellow college football obssesive and do a complete top 25 as well as a top 10 Worst.