i've had the desire to yell "War Damn Eagle" at random strangers on brisk Fall afternoons yet again.

it's been a long and depressing offseason. the afterglow of Auburn's national championship has left me with the same feeling i had when i lost my virginity...which is to say i was so glad that finally happened but the next time i hope it goes a lot smoother. the preseason prognosticators have predicted doom and gloom for our Tigers. i myself said last season that i fully expected Auburn to be a 7-5 team next year BUT that assuming Khiel Frazier is developed this season as a QB that Auburn stood a goddamn good chance of being back in the SEC and BCS title hunts for the 2012 and 2013 seasons. but living in a rival school's hometown has left my ears full of the bitterness that is UGA football fandom (nice uniforms, btw...you NIke whores) and their predictions (dirty little fantasies) of seeing Auburn go 4-8. basically the running narrative for this offseason is what a fluke/perfect storm 2010 was, that our coaches aren't any good, and that we will be lucky to beat Ole Miss. i call bullshit on that. the only games i predict being a total longshot are LSU and Arkansas. we've learned the last two seasons that Auburn isn't gonna roll over and fucking die against Alabama and assuming the Tide is in the title hunt you know Auburn will get up for that game. Clemson and USC are teams Auburn just never loses to and i expect them to at least go 1-1 vs the South Carlonia schools. i don't see Auburn losing at home to Mississippi State or Ole Miss. you know they are gonna give those Gators all they can handle. and i am of the opinion UGA is in for a horrible season that will put an end to the Richt era and so i wouldn't be surprised if UGA doesn't have a whole lot to play for when Auburn rolls into Athens. my best case scenario for 2011 is that Auburn finished the regular season at 9-3, tied for 2nd or 3rd in the West and gets a New Year's bowl game (likely the Cotton or Outback) but has a lot of momentum built up for 2012. my worst case scenario is that Auburn loses a lot of really close games and ends up with a 6-6 record and a trip to the Liberty (or whatever lower tier bowl the SEC has). i can swallow a 6-6 year as long as there's a lot of development being shown by Auburn's talented true and redshirt freshmen who are gonna be making up the bulk of the team's roster.

quick QB thoughts:

i will be the first to admit that i was less than thrilled to hear Barrett Trotter named Auburn's starting QB...a player that has to rank right up with Chris Todd as the least talented starter in the last 20 years, but Malzhan was able to make Todd into some kind of productive and useful starter in 2009 and so i would expect nothing less with Trotter. i would however like to assume that at the exact point Auburn is eliminated from any chance to reclaiming the SEC West crown that the keys to the offense will be handed over to our talented incoming Freshman QB (before our other talented Freshman QB shows up next season) and see if the kid lives up to the hype. starting a freshman is never ideal at QB but i have always been of the opinion that you go with the guy with the most talent...not the guy who has been hanging around the longest.

3 things i want to see from Auburn in 2011:

1. a big upset over either Bama, LSU, Florida, or UGA (all games Auburn will likely not be favored in...even though i predict UGA will suck)

2. Khiel Frazier as Auburn's QB at some point (hopefully after the team's 2nd loss) in the season.

3. a defense that can actually shut some team's down in the conference ever so often.

anyways, i am finally getting excited again that the season is almost here. i'll be at the home opener ready to cheer on the Tigers rocking my 2010 BCS title shirt and ready to drop an F-bomb or 5 the first time Auburn doesn't score a TD on a drive.

War Eagle, you fuckers.

free music from my favorite Atlanta, GA band

my boys, Turf War, are some drunk hooligans from Atlanta who just recorded a new song that's gonna be the anthem of summer 2011...or at the very least a song that you'll put on a mixtape. it's called "Summer time booze" and they want you to have it for free.

so download that shit here and thank me later.

Latest tracks by turfwar

your running themes for the 2011 MLB from ESPN

Yankees/Sawx
the Yanks lose 3 in a row: what's wrong with the Yankees?
Phillies are so great, why do the other teams in the NL exist?
Albert Puljos: wouldn't he make a great Yankee or Sawk?
it's August and the Mets are in last place, but we think they can make a run this year.
do they still play baseball out west?
Yankees vs. Red Sox: why can't they just play everyday?

just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you

Wow, that was the most useless thing HBO has aired since the Sopranos finale.

4 bitter ex players claiming they got paid. The only guy I would've believed was worth any money was McClover whose former teammates claim he blew all his NFL cash on strippers and now has an axe to grind. Another player Ramsey of course has tried to sue the program because of a back injury, another guy who didn't even set foot on the field, and another who is pissed about not getting a job. If a former player like Carlos Rogers was making these claims then I would be worried. But I'm just not losing any sleep over this. Sorry, unless there is some actual proof all this is going to result in is more ugly coverage and mudslinging from espn and a bunch of longwinded and whiny blog rants about how Auburn should get the death penalty from UGA fans who are pissed at the fact they are NEVER going to win a national title ever again because they can't beat Florida.

I'm not naive enough to believe that some shady shit hasn't gone down at Auburn in the past, but until there is an actual smoking gun that the NCAA finds then all of this is nothing more than talk. Lots and lots of talk.

2011 has been pretty interesting for Auburn

Win a national title.

Bring in a kickass top 10 recruiting class.

Get trees killed by lunatic Alabama fan.

Have 4 players arrested for armed robbery and kicked off the team.

What the fuck is next?

so much for Cyrus Kan'tbotherlookinguphowtospellhisfuckingname.

that 5 star tackle dude picked Bama instead. whatever. Auburn still has a top offensive line class and a top 10 recruiting class by all the major sites that rank that sorta thing. when's Spring practice start?

recruiting is like crack: 2011 edition

national signing day is upon us. so far Auburn has landed 24 recruits. there’s always a possibility of them adding another player but likely this will be the class. Auburn’s only loss was 4 star Linebacker/Runningback Brent Calloway who decided to choose Alabama over Auburn.

the real prize of the day was when Auburn landed the #1 offensive tackle in the country, Cyrus Kouandjio (noone in Auburn is going to be able to pronounce that dudes last name. just sayin’). that gives Auburn by far the best offensive line class in the country to go with the #4 tackle, #3 guard, and #1 center. hopefully this is a group Auburn can build another title around.

some other guys to be excited about are 5 star linebacker Kris Frost, 4 star runningbacks Quan Bray and Tre Mason, QB Khiel Frazier, and the best defensive back class in the nation headed by Jermaine Whitehead…and after last season if there is anything Auburn needs worse than anything are some fucking DBs who can cover.

Auburn will likely end up with another top 10 and possibly top 5 class once the day is done. i expected a lot of these kids to be playing next season as true freshmen with all of Auburn’s player losses and with the lack of depth thanks to Tuberville’s weak recruiting classes in his final two years. but 2 straight years of solid recruiting from Chizik and his staff let us all know that Auburn is going to be back in the SEC and BCS title hunt sooner rather than later.

so let's celebrate with a gratuitous picture of Lyla Garrity (Minka Kelly) in her underwear.

War Damn Eagle


update. currently Auburn is ranked #7 by Rivals, #1 by Scout, and #2 by ESPN but i guess that 5 star tackle dude whose name i can't pronounce is waffling on his choice of the TIgers. i'm gonna go ahead and assume he's gonna sign elsewhere. regardless it's a solid class that added some much needed talent on the offensive line and in the secondary.

thinking about the 2011 season, already

So Darvin Adams is gone.
Nick Fairley is gone.
Cam Newton is gone.
The O-Line is gone.
Most of the D-Line is gone.
Bynes and Stevens are gone.
Etheridge, Washington, Savage...gone.
Byrum and Shoemaker...gone.

So where does that leave the 2011 version of the Auburn Tigers? Young and inexperienced and with a murderous schedule with roadtrips to UGA, LSU, South Carolina, Arkansas, & Clemson. Not to mention Florida, Mississippi State, and Alabama on the schedule too. If Auburn goes 5-7 would you be shocked?

Luckily Auburn fans are going to be way too high on this season's title to get too depressed about what happens next season. As long as Auburn wins a few big games and shows some growth in their young players I think 2011 is going to be just fine. I think 2012 will be Auburn's real goal for getting back to Atlanta and beyond.

On offense Auburn's #1 question is going to be who is our QB. Trotter will most likely have the edge but if Auburn is smart they will start Khiel Frazier. What better way to suffer through a tough year than breaking in a true freshman QB stud? The other big question is who is gonna start on the o-line. Auburn's had some pretty good recruits in last year's class and the likely incoming group, there's a good chance we might see 3 freshmen....which after being spoiled by the group we are losing could lead to a lot of screaming and hairpulling, but again why not suffer through next season and break in the young talent? Finding playmakers at wideout will also be a big priority after losing our top 2 pass catchers. This is an area I feel like won't be as big a problem. Auburn still has Emory Blake and Lutzenkirchen (who I expect to be a huge part of the offense next year) as well as Carr who showed some potential and then there's all that potential receiver talent that the Tigers have recruited the last few years. Benton has yet to prove his former 5 star ranking but Trevon Reed will be expected to make an impact.

Luckily the Tigers have a solid running game to carry the offense and have the potential for 2 thousand yard rushers with Dyer and McCalebb. if anything, 2011 is set to be The Michael Dyer show and gets the ball rolling towards his push for the 2012 Heisman. oh yeah, i am getting greedy.

Even missing Bynes, Fairley, Stevens, and everyone else I think the defense could be better next season...it's hard to imagine that it could be worse. It'll be young but there's some talent hitting the Plains. Expect to see a lot of freshmen and sophomores next year.

I choose to believe that despite the fact Auburn is going to be very young next year and has a tougher schedule than the 2010 Tigers had that Auburn still has enough talent and a creative enough offensive coordinator to at least win 7 or 8 games and set up Auburn for a chance at the 2012 SEC title.

Falcons still the Falcons

Just when I was feeling all high on my Auburn Tigers BCS title, I can always count on the Atlanta Falcons to bring me back to Earth.

That was fucking depressing.

Goodbye Kodi, I'm gonna miss you most of all.

and so it is time we say goodbye to our 2010 National Champion Auburn Tigers, the most exciting Auburn team in my lifetime. the 2004 squad will probably always be the most dominant and talented, but 2010 will always be the the most special. Cam and Nick were the superstars. the offensive line were the backbone. but Kodi Burns will always be the heart. from the moment he came to Auburn he has done whatever he was asked to help make Auburn better. the moment he lost his starting job to Chris Todd and was asked to move to wide receiver and he decided NOT to transfer and to stick around he solidified himself as an All Time Auburn Great. he personified the words Unselfish and Leader. not to mention he blocked his ass off better than any Auburn wideout i can ever remember. it seems only fitting that his loan touchdown catch of the season was saved for his final game. in a game full of plays that i'll never forget, that was what got the ball rolling. thank you Kodi Burns for being an Auburn Man. i'm never gonna forget #18.

So Long Cam, thanks for everything...well almost everything

to the shock of exactly noone, Cam Newton is going pro...as he honestly should. his NFL stock will never be higher, especially when nearly his entire offensive line is going to be replaced next season. anyone who gets mad as kids for leaving early is probably a douchebag anyways.

so long Cam and thanks for the most amazing/exciting/scary/controversial/fucking awesome season i’ve ever had as an Auburn Tigers fan. i never thought i’d live to see the day where i’d consider someone other than Bo Jackson as the greatest Tiger of all time. we may have only had 1 year together, but damn it was a good year. good luck in the NFL. do us proud on Sundays. go get paid son. i just hope you don't end up in Washington like poor JC.

Auburn's SI Cover

as soon as the damn snow and ice melts and i can actually leave my house i will hunting down my SI issue for framing. i guess i need to find a good national champions shirt or hoodie as well (although Auburn needs to step it up in the design department because the stuff i've seen online kinda sucks). then of course i'll need to buy the SI hardcover book and the dvd and the football and so on and so forth. an Auburn based economy is just the thing to get us out of this recession.

i'm not sure if i can call my blog A Lifetime of Defeats anymore.

it's been 2 days now and things have finally sunk in. monday night was real. Auburn is the 2010 BCS National Champion. can you wrap your brain around that? did this seem even remotely possible at the end of the 2008 season? being a lifetime pessimist and someone used to having his heart ripped out by his favorite teams i never ever believed Auburn would ever finally clinch an outright national title. and yet it really fucking happened. i'm still at a loss for words to say how i feel.

I can't even lie. Watching the title game was not an enjoyable event for me. I was a nervous mess the whole night. Everytime something went wrong for the Tigers I felt like I was going to puke. It was borderline torture at points. But Auburn kept making the plays it had to make and keeping my heart from completely exploding in my chest. When Oregon tied the game up 19-19 I even said, "Auburn is gonna lose." I could feel the misery setting in. I started to wonder what were the chances Auburn would ever get another shot at this. And then Dyer made his "he's down, oh shit he's not down" run. And I finally perked up. I started to have visions of Wes Byrum's kick vs Florida dancing in my head. And then when Dyer blasted through Oregon's line for what I thought was the game winning touchdown I fell onto the floor and began to weep for joy. Of course it was reviewed and he has down at the 1 and all Byrum had to do was make a chip shot and we were champs...but I could barely even watch it. My heart was racing. My stomach was in knots. It's up. It's good!!!!!!!!! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! The Tigers are champs! Auburn are the national champions! Can you even believe it? Is it real? I thought it I died right that second it wouldn't have been so bad.

The high still hasn't worn off. I've been in this endless fog. It's a weird feeling. I remember talking to a friend of mine who was a Red Sox fan and how he told me that winning the World Series was amazing not only because he'd been waiting for that moment his whole life but because now the Sox were just another team who'd won a World Series. And now that's how I feel too. For all my angst and anxiety of being an Auburn fan all these years I could finally just enjoy rooting for my team and know that no metter whatever happens the rest of my life that no other moment would ever be this special again. And because of that I can just root for my Tigers and never get as worked up or miserable about winning or losing ever again. It feels amazing. And in a way it feels kind of sad. But it's a good sad.


thank you Nick Fairley, you giant half bear half man force of destruction. are you the dirtiest Auburn player of all time? fuck yeah, you are. you are a mean ass sonofabitch and i'd hate the shit out of you too if i was one of those pussyass UGA fans. but you are ours and for that i love you.


i've never been more happy to be so wrong about anything in my entire life as calling Gene Chizik the worst hire possible. thanks Coach. i'm willing to forgive 3 straight years of mediocrity before i ever call for your head.


Thank you Wes Byrum. Chip shot or not it's the kick that made us champions!!! motherfucking champions!!!!

And of course thank you, Cam. But that almost needs to be left unsaid.

So War Damn Eagle, everyone. Enjoy this moment for a long, long time. I know I will.

Final Poll Of the Season

A Lifetime Of Defeats Top 25 Final Poll

1. Auburn Tigers
2. Oregon
3. TCU
4. Stanford
5. Ohio State
6. LSU
7. Alabama
8. Oklahoma
9. Wisconsin
10. Nevada
11. Boise State
12. Arkansas
13. Oklahoma State
14. Mississippi State
15. Michigan State
16. Missouri
17. Va Tech
18. FSU
19. Texas A&M
20. South Carolina
21. Nebraska
22. UCF
23. Maryland
24. Tulsa
25. San Diego State

my brain is destroyed

Tonight we are champions, Auburn fans. This is real. This is happening.

just 1 more win and everyone gets to die happy

Tonight. It's here. Just 2 more hours. I'm a mixture or excitement and dread not unlike that time I was 16 with that girl who shall remain nameless. After tonight I'm either going to be the happiest idiot in the world or too depressed to watch another football game for the rest of my life. As much as I've enjoyed this season for the Atlanta Falcons and as bad as I want them to win a Super Bowl, I would gladly watch them lose 100-0 this weekend in exchange for a 1 point victory tonight for my Tigers.

Cam Newton you gifted man-child, whatever magic you've got left in that juice bottle drink it all up. A win tonight and I'm going to be too full of pride and joy to give a damn if Auburn is 6-6 and Liberty Bowl bound next season. Hell they could have 3 straight medicore years before i'd get angry about it if The Chiz lifts that crystal football over his head. In all my years of rooting for the Braves and Falcons and Tigers I've never wanted a win more in my entire life. Just let me have this moment and I won't ask for another one again (totally lying about that). Go Auburn! Win Baby Win! War Damn Eagle Forever and Ever and Ever!!!

the 2nd Season Begins. Can the Falcons actually get to the Super Bowl?

After finishing up one of their best regular seasons in team history the Falcons find themselves as the #1 seed in the NFC. That means no trips to Greenbay, Philly, New Orleans, or Chicago. It's home field advantage...something Atlanta desperately needed to have any chance to get to Dallas. They seemed nearly unbeatable at home (despite several close wins) until the Saints crushed that feeling of invincibility in the Dome. Fucking Saints. Regardless Atlanta was great at home and beat several quality teams and so there's no reason not to believe they've got a shot at an NFC championship this year.

Of the 6 NFC teams that made the playoffs 5 of them seem capable of being the NFC champs. The Saints are defending champs and get an easy 1st rounder vs. The Seahawks, at this point they look like the Falcons most likely opponent in the 2nd round. Both the Packers and Eagles are beat up some, but both are scary. I'll be rooting for Greenbay just because I like Atlanta's chances vs the Packers better than the Saints...and I really really don't want to have to facethe Eagles in the title game. Chicago is the least scary number 2 seed I can ever remember, but their defense is the kind that could easily win the game for them vs. Atlanta...still I'll be rooting for the Bears because I think Atlanta is more talented than Chicago. The Eagles and Saints really seem like Atlanta's biggest threat, so I'll be rooting for upsets next weekend...but I'm not holding my breath on Seattle.

Fuck The Saints. I Hope Your City Floods Again.

take that statement as a joke. i would never actually wish death and destruction on a city, even one as shitty as New Orleans. aka the most overrated city in america. what you can't get drunk in your own town?

anyways the loss last night was sort of a sickening one. Mike Smith made poor choices and left me feeling like there is no way that guy can win a Super Bowl. Michael Turner ran like shit and makes me wonder if the Falcons should dump him in the offseason and find a pair of younger legs. Matt Ryan tried to do everything and got very little help from anyone not named Roddy White. the Falcons #1 draft priority needs to be a fucking WR...that was painfully obvious when Michael Jenkins is dropping passes that hit him in the arms when he's wide fucking open. the mystique of the Georgia Dome is all but gone. Atlanta should be able to wrap up homefield by beating the Panthers on Sunday (never a given no matter how shitty they look) but do you really feel as confidant that Atlanta can defend the Dome should they have to face the Packers or Saints in a few weeks? i don't.

in other words: I AM IN PANIC MODE!!!!!

the defense played well and i think are still the most underrated unit in the NFL. holding Drew Brees to 17 points should be enough, it was the offense that lost that fucking game. hopefully Atlanta can lay a nice asswhipping on Carolina and get some of their swagger back because after the game last night i don't think anyone believes the Falcons are the best team in the NFC anymore.

Dear Texas,

Fuck off! Stay away from our offensive coordinator.

Auburn can't fix your fucking team everytime you need to hire someone you fucking dickheads. Go raid someone elses's pantry. You guys are starting to remind me of the damn New York Yankees. Give that Applewhite dude a try. I hear Rich Rodriguez may be looking for work soon. Go recruit another QB who can actually run.

Your pal, Justin.

P.S. love me some Austin, see you this spring at SXSW.

Infinite Lulz!!!

Meyer quit again, no for real this time.

hahahahahahaha x forever. fuck that guy.

to borrow a phrase from a blog i hate, BOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!

sadly Florida is probably better off with Dan Mullen anyways. oh well, no joy in hate.