Dear Texas,

Fuck off! Stay away from our offensive coordinator.

Auburn can't fix your fucking team everytime you need to hire someone you fucking dickheads. Go raid someone elses's pantry. You guys are starting to remind me of the damn New York Yankees. Give that Applewhite dude a try. I hear Rich Rodriguez may be looking for work soon. Go recruit another QB who can actually run.

Your pal, Justin.

P.S. love me some Austin, see you this spring at SXSW.