My Useless/Meaningless College Football Awards

I'm a big fan of best of the year lists. I'm also a fan of useless awards shows...well not the actual award shows themselves (those are painful and tedious) but the actual results of said award shows. and these days it seems like everyone and is throwing some kind of a pointless awards show that no one but the people nominated really give a shit about. and why should we here at A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS be left out? so here we are, ready to give out our own little blog awards for our favorite players and plays of the 2007 College Football Season. my apologies to fans of things that are fair and balanced as these awards are pretty heavy on the SEC because that's pretty much all i watched this year every single saturday from Noon to Midnight.

THE GOD DAMN YOU! AWARD- to your rival's best player who helped fuck your team's season up.

Knowshon Moreno- Runningback/Georgia, lead the Dawgs to big wins over Florida and Auburn. cranked dat souljaboy. wore a black jersey. pissed me off alot.


THE CHECKERS BURGER LINEMAN OF THE YEAR AWARD- best fat ass in college football who one day will be owning people in the NFL.

Andre Smith- Left Tackle/Alabama, was one of the loan bright spots for a snake bitten Bama O-line. will probably be a top 3 pick in the 2009 NFL draft. caught a touchdown pass in last season's bowl game against OK State. MB's favorite BAMA player since David Palmer.


THE HOLY SHIT! AWARD- best single performance by a player in one game.

Darren McFadden- Runningback/Arkansas, vs South Carolina on November 3rd, McFadden broke the SEC single game rushing record with 321 yards rushing against the Gamecocks. in a class move Steve Spurrier left McFadden off his Heisman ballot to return the favor.


MAN I WISH THAT GUY PLAYED FOR MY TEAM! The Player Of The Year

Tim Tebow- QB,Fullback,Linebacker,Machine/Florida, won the Heisman as a Sophomore, ended the argument that you must have a runningback to have a running game. broke the SEC rushing touchdown record as a motherfucking quarterback. loved Jesus and did the Gator chomp. cried when he lost to LSU. a freak of nature. brought football back to the 1920s while also sending it rocketing into the future. a man among boys. a beast.


EA SPORTS VIDEO GAME PLAYER OF THE YEAR- award for the best performance during my virtual college football season on NCAA Football 2008

Pat White- Quarterback, West Fucking Virginia, lead the virtual Mountaineers to an undefeated regular season and came up a game short to my Auburn Tigers in the BCS Championship. won the virtual Heisman trophy by rushing for 2,237 yards and 38 touchdowns and passing for another 2,511 yards and 34 touchdowns. rushed for over 400 yards 3 different times. scored 10 touchdowns against Louisville in a 98-7 route. returned a punt for a touchdown just for the fuck of it against UConn. was pretty much the best virtual athlete since Mike Vick on Madden 2004. total awesomeness.


AUBURN TIGERS PLAY OF THE YEAR

Auburn kicker Wes Byrum's game winning field goal against Florida in the swamp after already kicking a game winner on a timeout call. Chomp Chomp Motherfucker.


GAME OF THE YEAR (that i actually watched)

LSU vs Florida...aka the Jacob Hester game. if you didn't watch it then you missed a fucking war on the field. it was pretty obvious that the winner of that game was probably gonna end up winning the SEC and having a good shot at the national title. Tebow did everything he could but the Gators came up short thanks in part to LSU fullback, Jacob Hester and his many 4th down conversions. the Legend of Les Miles' balls began on this night.