TV PARTY: Week 2

THURSDAY NIGHT ALWAYS EQUALS DOOM FOR GOOD TEAMS

Clemson @ Georgia Tech on ESPN tonight 7:30PM

the Jackets lethal running game vs a Clemson team that just wants to forget about last year and move forward. tonight's game gives you a matchup of 2 of the best runningbacks in the country in CJ Spiller of Clemson and Jonathan Dwyer of GA Tech. logic and history tells you that this is the kind of game that Tech ALWAYS FUCKING LOSES, but then again it's also the kind of game Clemson always loses. ranked teams never really do well on these Thursday night contests but i think those nerds from Tech are gonna run all over the Tigers of Clemson in a blowout win.

IT'S TOO EARLY FOR FOOTBALL ON SATURDAY MORNING WHEN THE DAVE'S AREN'T INVOLVED

various crappy games on various channels

as with last weekend, i have no idea what channel the early SEC game is on or who it's between. i think the Gators are playing Troy so i'll assume that's what Peach Tree TV is showing. but who knows. Fresno State travels to Wisconsin on ESPN at noon, if you've got ESPNU then there's an interesting matchup between UConn and UNC. what? it's not basketball? okay, who cares then. if you've got ESPN 360 then you can enjoy a couple of nerds in a slapfight as Wake Forest and Stanford go at it.

THE HYPE WILL BE UNBEARABLE GAME OF THE WEEK

Notre Dame @ Michigan on ABC, 3:30 pm

a couple of teams gettin' way too much credit for blowing out teams that they SHOULD have blown out play each other in a game that i'll only watch because i kinda wanna see if Michigan can go ahead and ruin the Irish's year. probably not, but still they've both got nice uniforms and it's pleasing to the eyes. kinda like this...


WE'RE BACK IF WE WIN THIS GAME

UCLA @ Tennessee on ESPN, 4pm

The Vols wanna get revenge against the Bruins and likely they will which is gonna get the whole Tennessee is back ball rolling...especially if it's a blowout. you know it and i know it.

DIE! JOE COX DIE! Game of The Week

South Carolina @ UGA on ESPN2, 7pm

this might be the last time the Ol' Ball Coach ever gets to beat the Dawgs and ruin their season. every Georgia fan i know is calling for poor Joe Cox head...if Georgia drops this game to the Cox then the fans might storm the field and tear him apart like that scene from the original DAWN OF THE DEAD.

BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO THE SLAUGHTER GAME OF THE WEEK

USC @ Ohio State on ABC, 8pm

this time Ohio State is really gonna challenge the Trojans. they might even beat them....it's totally gonna happen, i swear.

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

USC is gonna run all over the Buckeyes. this shit will be over by halftime...again. WIN FOREVER doesn't lose these kinda games and i don't see it happening this time.

i hate the new ESPN and SEC marriage, already

no love from ESPN for Auburn, AGAIN. the game Miss State and Auburn game is only available on Gameplan or ESPN360 which is something i don't have. i may have to search for a sportsbar with this one. the worse thing about your team being down is that they become much harder to watch every week on TV. also i would like to point out that this new deal that the SEC signed with ESPN has resulted in there being LESS SEC matchups on regular TV two weeks in a row. to which is say BULLSHIT!!!

FALCONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

remember when i said that Atlanta should draft Brian Brohm instead of Matt Ryan? yeah me neither. Brohm got cut by the Packers a year after being their 2nd round draft pick. ouch!

DEM DIRTY BIRDS IZ BACK, YA'LL!!! better recognize. we goin' to Da SupaBowl this year. fuck yeah, motherfucker. 16-0. Matt Ryan MVP, Burner Turner is rushing for 3,000 yards, & Roddy White is changing his name to White Lightning.

...a boy can dream can't he?

oh NFL, i've missed you...i am actually more excited about Pro Football than i am about college for the 1st time since Mike Vick's rookie year.

realistic expectations for the 09 Atlanta Falcons:

well their schedule is a MOTHERFUCKER...so i'm hoping for 9-7 and maybe they sneak into the wildcard and give Atlanta's fans the teams first back to back winning seasons in franchise history. i can't see an offense with as much talent as Atlanta's doing worse than 7-9. so i'll split the difference and predict an 8-8 record and a 3rd place finish in the NFC South but Atlanta will be a Darkhorse for the Super Bowl in 2010 season.

Terror Is Raining From The Sky!!!

hey it's been just one week but us knee-jerk types are already guessing which headcoach will be the 1st one to be fired this season. after last year's chopping block (which included Auburn's own coach) we can pretty much rule out anybody in the SEC other than some assistants. the Ole Ball Coach might call it quits, but there's no way he'd get fired.

MY TOP 10 COACHES MOST LIKELY TO BE FIRED.

1. Al Ghroh, Virginia
2. Dan Hawkins, Colorado
3. Mike Sherman, Texas A&M
4. Paul Wulff, Washington State
5. Charlie Weis, Notre Dame
6. Ron Zook, Illinois
7. Steve Kragthorpe, Louisville
8. George O'Leary, Central Florida
9. Mike Price, UTEP
10. Randy Shannon, Miami (although that win vs. FSU might have saved his job.)

What's Got 2 Thumbs and Wants to Stay Off The Hot Seat?

DA U IS BACK!!!

i hope.

...somebody has to take some players away from Florida.

now for my useless poll

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25

1. Florida
2. Texas
3. USC
4. Alabama
5. California
6. Oklahoma State
7. Ohio State
8. LSU
9. Penn State
10. Ole' Miss
11. BYU
12. Boise State
13. Georgia Tech
14. Oklahoma
15. Virginia Tech
16. Miami
17. North Carolina
18. TCU
19. Cincinnati
20. FSU
21. Kansas
22. Missouri
23. Utah
24. Oregon State
25. Arkansas

Say Hello to Missouri, Cincinnati, and Miami to my pretend top 25. say goodbye to UGA, Oregon, and Iowa. Virginia Tech and FSU both looked good while losing so they keep their spot in the top 25. goodbye UGA. i should drop Oklahoma even further, but instead i like to think BYU might be for real. so long Oregon and you can stay away. Iowa is the only team who actually WON their game that i dropped, but i mean come the fuck on. The Top 4 look like our real contenders for the National Title. everyone else in the top 10 has some question marks.

on the brink: Nebraska (who I totally forgot about), Pitt...nah I am kidding, Auburn (if they win their next 2 then i'll rank em.) South Carolina (looked ugly, but if you beat UGA then you're in.) Baylor is my feel good team of the year. i'll be rooting for them hardcore all year. and NAVY is a lock to make it to the top 25 if they play like they did against the Buckeyes all year long.

i refuse to rank Notre Dame until they beat a REAL team. sorry, i just don't believe the hype. these are the same bunch of kids who haven't beaten anyone.

College Football Pick Em: Week 2

Thursday Sept 10
1: Clemson @ Ga Tech- Ga Tech

Saturday Sept. 12
2: Syracuse @ Penn State- Penn St
3: North Carolina @ Connecticut- UNC
4:Stanford @ Wake forest- Stanford
5: Fresno State @ Wisconsin- Wisconsin
6:Duke @ Army- Army
7: Iowa @ Iowa State- Iowa
8:Troy @ Florida- Florida
9:Marshall @ Virginia Tech- Va Tech
10:Texas @ Wyoming- Texas
11:Houston @ Oklahoma State- OK St
12:TCU @ Virginia- TCU
13:Notre Dame @ Michigan- ND
14:East Carolina @ West Virginia- ECU
15:Louisiana Tech @ Navy- Navy
16: UCLA @ Tennessee- UT
17: Jacksonville State @ FSU- FSU
18: FIU @ Alabama- Bama
19: Vanderbilt @ LSU- LSU
20: South Carolina @ Georgia- UGA
21: Mississippi State @ Auburn- Auburn
22:Air Force @ minnesota- Air Force
23:USC @ Ohio State- USC
24:Purdue @ Oregon- Oregon
25: Hawaii @Washington State- Hawaii

Tiebreakers (total points)
A: Clemson @ Georgia Tech- 69
B:UCLA @ Tennessee- 74
C: South Carolina @ UGA- 33
D: USC @ OHIO STATE- 52

Dear FSU & Miami,

this pic is full of awesome...

Thank you for reminding us all that your rivalry can still be awesome.

BEST GAME OF THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND.

Welcome back U. Keep it goin'.

Who Is More Fucked By Injury?

Oklahoma or UGA?

Poor poor Sturdivant. 2 season ending knee injuries in a row...so long NFL career.

And Sam Bradford is another living monument to the lesson that if you are a QB who people consider a 1st round draft pick then you need to go pro right fucking then. Brian Brohm, Matt Lienart, Brady Quinn, etc..., all just shook their head knowingly when you got your ass busted up by that Mormon missle.

NFL Draft stock...its a sonofabitch.

Spread Damn Eagle

The Chiz totally looks like he wants to eat your soul in this pic.


okay i've finally had a chance to watch the replay of the Auburn game and i gotta say, i've got a little bit of optimism (especially after i saw how poorly Georgia & Ole' Miss both played). The running game was a thing of beauty. 2 backs going over 100 yards!? Yes, I'll gladly have some of that. Darvin Adams appeared to be an excellent possession receiver that the passing game can rely on. Mario Fannin is going to be a matchup nightmare for linebackers. And I'm very to happy to see that our one armed zombie QB was able to sling it down the field like he was supposedly gonna do last year. And getting to see Kodi score that 1st touchdown made me really really happy. I have a feeling he's gonna be a hell of a threat in the redzone. So yeah, Spread Eagle 2 is totally the sequel we all wanted to see after the shitty 1st film. Let's just hope it's more than a really rad opening sequence.

The defense...ehh, it could use some work for sure. Too many penalties. Not enough preasure on the QB. But they shut La Tech down in the 2nd half. I also liked the play of the DBs in the redzone. And Darren Bates = super sleeper. I'll hold off any real judgement until they play a team that can actually beat them. I guess I should take that same stance with the offense too, but why kill my joy?

5 things that made me stoked:
Ontario McCalebb
Wes Byrum's rediscovery of his ability to make kicks
Chris Todd having an arm that works
Darvin Adams & Mario Fannin making catches...what a novelty
The play of Auburn's D in the redzone

So the Chiz and the new staff get that much needed 1st win. Everythings coming up roses until it all goes to shit. War Eagle and all that.

Explaining Football To Chicks

FINALLY someone took the time to explain football to silly girls.

this video is so amazing/terrible/sexist/mind blowing that i can only say watch it.

What Is This Thing Called Offense?

556 Yards of total offense? i mean i know it was La Tech but still...i think i've got a football boner.

McCalebb, Tate, Fannin, Todd, Burns, Zachery...could we actually have some weapons?

i still haven't watched the replay of the game so i'll wait to make any sort of evaluation, but the box score makes me happy.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL!!!

FOOTBALL!!!!!! Foooooooooootttttttbbbbaaaaaawwwwwwlllllll!!!!!!!

Beer!

Who has ESPNU?

See Tristan Run

via THE JCCW (rip) twitter feed.

Tristan Davis showing us all how badly he was misused at Auburn last year in this pre-season game.


fuck you Tuberville/Tony Franklin/Whoever the Fuck was Running That Turd Of An Offense last year.

Suicide Watch (2009): Week 1 - Fear And Loathing Is Upon Us, Motherfucker

IT BEGINS....

"I hate to say this," said my attorney as we sat down at the Merry-Go-Round Bar on the second balcony, "but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the Fear."

and so it is upon us. like a pack of wild dogs ready to come tear off our flesh and feast on our bones. the 2009 College Football season. i for one want nothing to do with it. i'd rather be able to flash forward into the year 2010 just at the point when Jupiter gets turned into a 2nd sun. that way noone notices that Auburn football is slowly but surely turning into Kentucky.....Oh Wait, i was supposed to be optimistic about this season. nevermind, forget everything i just said. 8 wins baby. we goin' to the Chicken Bowl!!! whatever...

anyways the longest offseason in recent memory is finally over and Auburn has a brand new coach for the 1st time in 10 years and the thinnest roster of talent that i can ever remember. our offense is lead by a one armed zombie and our defense is a M.A.S.H. unit and we haven't played a single snap yet.

this would've been a great week to schedule Generic Directional University....and yet we face a very capable Louisiana Tech team who went bowling last year.


things to know about the Bulldogs of LA Tech: their runningback Daniel Porter rushed for 1,164 yards...that means he's good. and they've also got a dominating defensive line full of experience. Defensive tackle D’Anthony Smith is an NFL prospect and Mason Hitt is pretty good too. Auburn's line will have to protect Todd (something they didn't do last year) and open up the lanes for the Tiger RBs or this might be an ugly puntfest. ya know, like every single game last year.

talent-wise the Tigers should still be good enough with their front four to cause LA Tech trouple. Coleman is gonna have to make some big plays and knock QB Ross Jenkins on his ass all day to give that young Auburn secondary the help it needs. those brand new starting tackles will also need to shut down Porter and the LA Tech running game.

if Auburn can establish their running game and get some homeruns outta speed demon McCaleb then if could see the Tigers blowing this one wide open, but if Auburn has to rely on the passing game then i imagine we'll be witnessing a lot of 3 and outs and stalled drives and PUNTS PUNTS PUNTS PUNT 4 VICTORY!!! and nobody wants that.

honestly Auburn NEEDS a big win to give the fans some faith. everyone knows Chizik was an unpopular hire, and no matter how positive we feel about the coaching staff he's put together, he HAS to win this game to start earning the fan's trust and respect. losing to LA Tech might just derail this entire season and we could end up with the kind of year Michigan in 2008.

Potential for Tragedy: 6, as far as creampuffs go...well LA Tech isn't a real creampuff. not this year anyways. Auburn should be plenty worried about the Bulldogs...but i think a close win is in the cards for Auburn. but if they lose....

method of suicide: put the gun in your mouth and just get it over with cuz this is gonna be a LONG LONG LONG LONG LLLLLOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG year and not much good is going to happen. just make sure you do it right, you don't wanna end up lookin' like arseface.

When You Put Stupid Emo Wings on Yr Unis This Is What Happens....

LaGarrett Blount wins the award for douchebag of the week.

way to sucker punch a guy after you talked a bunch of shit before the game and then followed that up with an attempt to go into the stands and fight some Boise State fans Ron Artest style until you had to be restrained by your coaches and some cops. You get a big fat "Way To Go" for your effort.

hey LaGarrett, do you hear that sound?

that's your future draft stock falling like a fucking stone in water.

fuckhead.

But hey you weren't the only Duck actingly like a spoiled brat. A couple of your teammates decided to fight with each other as soon as the game ended. Yeah I can really see you guys challenging USC for that Pac 10 crown this year. How do you spell nosedive?

Football Is Back, Baby!!! You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.

how fucking stoked are you?

ask me if i am excited....

The Chiz gets some SI love

SI.com has an interesting article on Gene Chizik that wonders if he's got the goods to be a Pete Carrol kind of coach....or at least i think that's what the article was about, i got bored and quit reading half-way through...but feel free to finish it for me and let me know how it ends.

Hey, Look. We Got Ourselves One Of Them Football Teams

The Opening Game 2009 Depth Chart has been released kids. and if you weren't scared before then you sure as shit will be now.

i'd have trouble winning video games with this roster.

first off, a big "FUCK YOU" to Tuberville for letting the roster get this thin. Yeah i fucking said it. FUCK YOU TOMMY TUBERVILLE YOU BIG EARED MOTHERFUCKER. yeah yeah yeah...i know, Thanks for 2004 and the big wins and blah fucking blah....but if the 2009 Auburn Football Team isn't an indictment of the Tuberville regime's shitty recruiting the last couple of years then i don't know what is. okay, sorry for that little outburst. we say the meanest things to the ones we loved the most.

so via War Eagle Extra here's what the Tigers are gonna look like vs. LA Tech on Saturday.

Offense

QB: Chris Todd, 6-4, 210, Sr.
Neil Caudle, 6-3, 200, Jr.
Tyrik Rollison, 6-0, 194, Fr.

RB: Ben Tate, 5-11, 218, Sr.
Onterio McCalebb, 5-10, 164, Fr.

FB: Mario Fannin, 5-11, 225, Jr.
John Doulgas, 6-2, 241, So. OR
Gabe McKenzie, 6-5, 252, Sr.

TE: Tommy Trott, 6-5, 243, Sr.
Philip Lutzenkirchen, 6-4, 262, Fr.
Jay Wisner, 6-2, 194, Jr.

WR: Terrell Zachery, 6-1, 203, Jr.
Kodi Burns, 6-2, 208, Jr.

WR: Darvin Adams, 6-3, 185, So.
DeAngelo Benton, 6-2, 192, Fr. OR
Emory Blake, 6-1, 192, Fr.

LT: Lee Ziemba, 6-8, 308, Jr.
Jared Cooper, 6-4, 295, So.

LG: Byron Isom, 6-3, 281, Jr.
Jorell Bostrum, 6-3, 362, Jr.

C: Ryan Pugh, 6-4, 289, Jr.
Bart Eddins, 6-4, 297, Jr.

RG: Mike Berry, 6-3, 311, Jr.
John Sullen, 6-6, 346, Fr.

RT: Andrew McCain, 6-6, 299, Sr.
Vance Smith, 6-2, 281, So.
Defense

LE: Antonio Coleman, 6-3, 261, Sr.
Nosa Eguae, 6-2, 244, Fr.

LT: Mike Blanc, 6-4, 288, Jr.
Nick Fairley, 6-5, 293, So.

RT: Jake Ricks, 6-4, 292, Sr.
Zach Clayton, 6-3, 281, Jr.
Derrick Lykes, 6-2, 284, rFr.

DE: Michael Goggans, 6-3, 264, Jr.
Dee Ford, 6-4, 214, Fr.

LLB: Craig Stevens, 6-3, 223, Jr.
Jonathan Evans, 5-11, 207,, Fr.

MLB: Josh Bynes, 6-2, 239, Jr.
Harrison Gaston, 6-1, 219, Fr.

RLB: Eltoro Freeman, 5-11, 222, So.
Adam Herring, 6-1, 216, So.
Wade Christopher, 6-1, 215, So.

LCB: Walt McFadden, 6-0, 175, Sr.
Harry Adams, 6-0, 183, So.

S: Daren Bates, 5-11, 195, Fr.
Drew Cole, 5-11, 182, So.
T'Sharvan Bell, 6-0, 192, So.

S: Zac Etheridge, 6-0, 212, Jr.
Mike Slade, 6-3, 192, So.
D'Antoine Hood, 5-10, 187, So.

RCB: Neiko Thorpe, 6-2, 176, So.
Demond Washington, 5-9, 185, Jr.
Special Teams

PK: Wes Byrum, 6-2, 209, Jr.
Morgan Hull, 6-3, 199, Jr.

P: Clinton Durst, 6-1, 191, Sr.
Ryan Shoemaker, 6-0, 184, Jr.

LS: Josh Harris, 6-1, 220, So.
Bailey Woods, 6-5, 237, So.

H: Clayton Crofoot, 6-6, 191, Sr.
Neil Caudle, 6-3, 200, Jr.

KR: Terrell Zachery, 6-1, 203, Jr.
Onterio McCalebb, 5-10, 164, Fr.
Neiko Thorpe, 6-2, 176, So.
Mario Fannin, 5-11, 225, So.

PR: Mario Fannin, 5-11, 225, Jr.
Anthony Gulley, 5-9, 176, Fr.

excuse me for a second....

....no not yet. there's plenty of time for that.

ugggghhhhh. so we've got like probably the weakest defense that Auburn has put together since??????????????? i have no fucking clue, i can't recall when i could say going into the first game of the year that that Tigers looked like they might not be able to shut down most any team they played. this is gonna be a long year, isn't it? fuck. i'm too old for this bullshit.

the only real strength of this team is going to be the running game and if there is a God then Auburn is gonna be a run-first-ask questions later kind of spread team this season, unless Chris Todd had some sort of Robocop super arm put in to replace hi missing arm and some bionic legs put in to replace his zombie speed. so i say give it to Tate, Fannin, and McCalebb and get that zombie out of the fucking way. as far as the wideouts go, again i think we can all extend a nice finger in the direction of our former coaching staff for the top notch job they did with supposed 4 star recruits who'd been a part of the last 4 classes. oh well, let's hope those Freshmen were worth their hype and let's hope Kodi is better at catching and running than he is at accurately throwing a forward pass.

"The Fear" is all over me right now.

TV PARTY: Week 1

The Thursday Night Double Dip

South Carolina @ NC State on ESPN 7pm

this was one of the ugliest games week 1 last year and i was pretty sure, at the time, that NC State's freshman QB got killed during the game. he didn't and actually ended up being 1st team all ACC...which should tell you that the ACC QB situation is even worse than the SEC's. everyone is predicting that this is the Ole' Ball Coach's final season in Columbia and a loss to start the year against a middle tier ACC team probably will help get that ball rolling.

Oregon @ Boise State on ESPN 10:15pm

after you've been lulled to sleep by NC State vs. South Carolina you are gonna have to do some lines and down a couple of Redbulls to get yourself pumped up for one of the best matchups of Week 1. it's unlikely that you will need the cocaine of redbull though because Boise and Oregon will shock your brain into gear with their collection of Neon-Eye-Rape uniforms.

or

who is uglier? i can't even tell anymore.

this is a clash of two top 20 teams with BCS bowl game goals on their mind. last year Boise knocked off Oregon who were down to like their 12th QB of the season. this year the Ducks' starter is healthy (keep him in a bubble until game time guys). if Oregon really is set to knock USC off their perch then beating a solid non-BCS school on their hold turf is a great way to start. unfortunately weird things happen when you travel to the land of smurfs. i like Boise to knock the Ducks off on their way to running the table...again.

if you watch the Tulane and Tulsa game on Friday night and you didn't go to either of those schools then you are 1 of 3 things: a compulsive gambler, someone with mono, or a loser who can't get a date on Friday night.

Good Morning Sunshine, Did You Miss Me? Game
various Noon games on various channels.

now that ESPN owns the SEC i don't get to shake my hangover off with the pleasurable early morning SEC low-budget broadcast anymore and so i must take what the WWL gives me...and that looks to be a choice of either Navy vs Ohio State or Minnesota at Syracuse. FUCK THAT. hopefully CSS has some better option for me or possibly the ACC noon game will be of some quality. regardless i may actually go do something like run an errand or go get beer while i avoid to suckiness of the Big 10.

THE HOLY SHIT REAL FOOTBALL IS BACK GAME

UGA @ Oklahoma State on ABC 3:30 pm

it's def gonna feel weird for the first game of the season to be elsewhere. Athens should be a ghost town, so i'll have my pick of bars to watch this showdown with Okie State. i fully expect the Dawgs to feed the Cowboys a healthy dose of reality and bury them in their brand new T. Boone purchased stadium. if not, at least i can have fun watching the Georgia fans sulk at the bar afterwards.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ESPNU?????

La Tech @ Auburn on ESPNU 7 pm

this will be the time of the day when i try and sober up enough to drive around and search for a bar that has ESPNU and will put the Auburn game on for the one Tigers fan in the Classic City. with luck, the Dawgs will be rolling and noone will give me any shit and i can find my own spot to enjoy SPREAD EAGLE 2: Electric Boogaloo's first outing vs. LA Tech. if things don't go well i may be too sad to endure anything past this game.

ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR ALABAMA RECRUITING COMMERCIAL???

Alabama vs. Virginia Tech in the Georgia Dome on ABC @ 8pm

the Tide in the Dome vs a Virginia Tech team minus their star runningback. this could be another ugly ACC ass-whiping that gets Alabama rolling towards another SEC title game or the Hokies could pull the shocker and take advantage of Alabama's new QB and young offensive line....but that'd probably be too much to ask for. no, i expect this will be a Bama style beatdown. hopefully Auburn looks impressive enough vs. La Tech that i won't be too wrapped up in this game.

Do Your Kidney's Still Work? Well Let's Put An End To That!

LSU @ Washington on ESPN 10:30pm

after a long day of football curl up on the couch and watch LSU commit ritualistic murder against the poor Huskies in the Pacific Northwest.

2009 College Football Pick Em: Week 1

it's back. the thing i fail at every fucking week and piss my money away. the College Football Pick Em.

here are my Week 1 picks:

Thursday Sept. 3
1: South Carolina @ NC ST - NC ST
2:Oregon @ Boise State- Boise

Saturday Sept. 5
3: Navy @ Ohio State - OSU
4:Minnesota@ Syracue - Minnesota
5:Kentucky @ Miami (OH) - Kentucky
6:Western Kentucky @ Tennessee - Tennessee
7:Jacksonville State @ Georgia Tech - GA Tech
8:San Jose State @ USC - USC
9: Georgia @ Oklahoma State - UGA
10: Nevada @ Notre Dame - Notre Dame
11: Baylor @ Wake Forest - Baylor
12: Missouri vs Illinois - Illinois
13: Jackson State @ Mississippi State - Miss St
14: Middle Tennesee State University @ Clemson - Clemson
15: Charleston Southern @ Florida - FLA
16: BYU @ Oklahoma- OKlahoma
17: Florida Atlantic @ Nebraska- Nebraska
18: Louisiana Tech @ Auburn- AUBURN
19: Alabama vs Virginia Tech- Bama
20: Stanford @ Washington State- Stanford
21: Maryland @ California- Cal
22: LSU @ Washington- LSU
Sunday Sept. 6
23: Ole Miss @ Memphis- Ole Miss
24:Colorado State @ Colorado- Colorado
Monday Sept. 7
25: Cincinnati @ Rutgers- Rutgers
26: Miami vs Florida State- FSU
Tiebreakers: (Total points) closest average point total wins
A) Alabama vs Virgina Tech - 37 pts
B) B: Georgia @ Oklahoma State- 65 pts
C) C: Oregon @ Boise State- 70 pts

ARE YOU READY 4 SOME MOTHERFUCKING FOOTBALL?!?!?!

PUNT 4 EVER 2: Electric Boogaloo

opening nationwide next Saturday!!!

War Eagle, Motherfucker.

Positive Vibes Friday: The Ape Of Death

via the world's great television show, THE MIGHTY BOOSH.



I’m the Ape of Death and I don’t care
Cos I’m the monkey with the lovely hair
It’s all fluffy and shiny too
Cos I got that Miracle Wax from Naboo.

Don’t be cynical
It’s a follicle miracle
I said, don’t be cynical
I keep waxing lyrical

He’s the Ape of Death and he don’t care
Cos he’s the monkey with the lovely hair
It’s all fluffy and shiny too
Cos he got that Miracle Wax from Naboo.

Come on, now!

Ah-ah, yeah!
One, two, three, four
Dig that monkey song

Look around at my monkey hair
You can touch it, I don’t care
Used to be that I was ashamed
But now the monkey fluff is tamed.
Come on everybody and walk around my hair!

Don’t be cynical
It’s a follicle miracle
I said, don’t be cynical
I keep waxing lyrical

IT REALLY IS ALMOST HERE

i've been sleep walking through this offseason, barely bloggin about football, not even buying the newest version of EA's NCAA FOOTBALL to help guide my Alternate Reality Auburn Tigers to a string of BCS titles...nope, i've been too busy with my silly band, my new obsession with tumblr, and dare i say...Football Apathy. but all that changes starting next week. i'm gonna Kick Out the Jams and bust out some posts. War Damn Eagle, i'm even gonna be kinda positive... and not "You've got Herpes" positive, No Way! i'm doin' it up KANYE WEST ALL CAPITAL LETTERS STYLE FULL OF EXCITEMENT WE ARE GONNA WIN EVERYGAME SCREW ALL THE DOUBTERS ROCK AND ROLL.

for no apparent reason: My Top 100 Favorite Songs of the Decade

Pitchfork made their top 500 songs of the decade list...I guess it's safe to assume nothing in these last 4 months is gonna be worthy of inclusion, whatever. Anyways I agreed with some of their picks, others I thought they totally dropped the ball on. Anyways if VH1 asked me to put together a list of the Top 100 songs of the decade then this would be mine.

1. The Walkmen- The Rat
2. The Rapture- House Of Jealous Lovers
3. Outkast- Hey Ya
4. The Strokes- Last Night
5. The White Stripes- Fell In Love With A Girl
6. Spoon- The Way We Get By
7. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Maps
8. Phoenix- Too Young
9. Franz Ferdinand- Take Me Out
10. Interpol- PDA
11. TV On The Radio- Staring At The Sun
12. LCD Soundsystem- Losing My Edge
13. R. Kelly- Ignition (remix)
14. M.I.A.- Paper Planes
15. Kanye West- Flashing Lights
16. Radiohead- Idioteque
17. Jay Z- Big Pimpin'
18. Outkast- B.O.B.
19. Youngbloodz- 85
20. The Exploding Hearts- Throwaway Style
21. Bloc Party- Banquet
22. Grinderman- No Pussy Blues
23. No Doubt- Hella Good
24. The Strokes- Hard To Explain
25. The Lilys- Will My Lord Be Gardening
26. The Shins- Kissing the Lipless
27. Arcade Fire- Wake Up
28. Broken Social Scene- Cause = Time
29. Radiohead- All I Need
30. Justin Timberlake- Like I Love You
31. The Killers- When You Were Young
32. MGMT- Time To Pretend
34. Dr. Dre- Still D.R.E.
35. LCD Soundsystem- Someone Great
36. TV On The Radio- Wolf Like Me
37. The Radio Dept.- Pulling Our Weight
38. Silversun Pickups- Lazy Eye
39. Ted Leo & RX- I'm a Ghost
40. Andrew WK- Party Hard
41. Lil Wayne- A Milli
42. Kanye West- Gold Digger
43. Death Cab for Cutie- Soul Meets Body
44. White Stripes- Seven Nation Army
45. M83- Don't Save Us From The Flames
46. Air- Playground Love
47. Yo La Tengo- You Can Have It All
48. Beck- Lost Cause
49. Sonic Youth- Incinerate
50. Morrissey- The First Of the Gang To Die
51. Jay Z- 99 Problems (Dangermouse grey album version)
52. Gnarls Barkley- Crazy
53. Dinosaur Jr.- Almost Ready
54. Bat For Lashes- Daniel
55. Phoenix- 1901
56. David Byrne & Brian Eno- Strange Overtones
57. Wilco- Jesus, Etc.
58. No Age- Teen Creeps
59. Death From Above 1978- Romantic Rights
60. Radio 4- Dance to the Underground
61. Chromatics- In The City
62. LCD Soundsystem- All My Friends (Franz Ferdinand remix)
63. The Faint- Agenda Suicide
64. The Rapture- Out of the Races and Onto The Tracks
65. Jimmy Eat World- The Middle
66. Belle & Sebastian- If She Wants Me
67. Vampire Weekend- Oxford Comma
68. The Strokes- New York City Cops
69. Deerhunter- Nothing Ever Happened
70. Devendra Banhart- Lover
71. The Clientele- We Could Walk Together
72. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Cheated Hearts
73. Broken Social Scene- Lover's Spit
74. MGMT- Kids
75. Mike Jones- Still Tippin'
76. Maximo Park- Apply Some Pressure
77. ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead- Another Morning Stoner
78. !!!- Heart of Hearts
79. Spoon- Everything Hits At Once
80. The Icarus Line- Party The Baby Off
81. Shocking Pinks- Emily
82. Jay Reatard- Always Wanting More
83. The Libertines- Don't Look Back Into The Sun
84. Q & Not U- A Line In The Sand
85. The Stills- Lola, Stars and Stripes
86. Modest Mouse- Tiny Cities Made of Ashes
87. Missy Elliott- Get Your Freak On
88. Lil' Scrappy- No Problem
89. The Warlocks- Shake The Dope Out
90. Fugazi- Full Disclosure
91. Interpol- NYC
92. Guided By Voices- Glad Girls
93. Spoon- I Summon You
94. PJ Harvey with Thom Yorke- This Mess We're In
95. Mobb Deep- Get It Twisted
96. The Strokes- Under Control
97. Black Lips- Dirty Hands
98. Ariel Pink's Haunted Grafitti- For Kate I Wait
99. The Killers- All These Things I've Done
100. Elliott Smith- A Fond Farewell

for Pitchfork's list go here.

NFL 2009 Predictions

AFC

East

Patriots
Dolphins
Bills
Jets

North

Ravens
Steelers
Bengals
Browns

South

Colts
Texans
Titans
Jaguars

West

Chargers
Raiders
Chiefs
Broncos

Wild cards- Texans & Titans

Champs- Chargers

NFC

East

Giants
Cowboys
Eagles
Redskins

North

Vikings
Bears
Packers
Lions

South

Saints
Falcons
Panthers
Bucs

West

Seahawks
Cardinals
49ers
Rams

Wild cards- Bears, Cowboys

Champ- Giants

Superbowl Champion- Giants

MVP- Drew Brees

Poor Crazy Old Man

Dr. Lou wants you to know that Notre Dame is gonna play Florida for the National Title this year. yeah, he actually said that.

is it time for Mark May and Reece Davis to put the ole' Doctor in a home?

A Week And a Day and the Pain Starts

this is everything you'll need for the 2009 college football season, Auburn fans.

positive vibes friday: I'm Feeling Nostalgic for The Blues Explosion

The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion performing "2 Kindsa Love" for some tv show. Jon Spencer is easily one of the top 5 frontmen i have ever seen perform in my life right behind Iggy Pop, James Brown, Guy Picciotto of Fugazi, and Ian Svenonius of the Make Up.

Everyone Likes a Darkhorse

okay, so i already wasted my time with a useless pre-season poll. amd now i unleash my even more useless top Darkhorses/Sleepers in the BCS conferences.

1. Arkansas- Arkansas is EVERYONE's sleeper pick this season, so maybe believing the hype isn't the safest bet, but The Hawgs have 8 very winnable games and also they could easily upset a team like LSU or Ole Miss on the road. i predict 9-3 and a 2nd or 3rd place finish in the SEC West and a trip to a New Year's bowl. then they'll be the hyped Top 10 team to fall on their face in 2010.

2. North Carolina State- granted everyone in the ACC probably could qualify as a Darkhorse/Sleeper but i think NC State could be this year's GA Tech. their two toughest home games are North Carolina at the end of the year and the always schizophrenic Clemson. their road slate seems rough on paper with Wake, Va Tech, FSU, & Boston College. NC State also has the league's top QB.

3. Stanford- last year Stanford was 5-7. this year they return almost their entire starting offense and most of their defense. they have a tough schedule for sure but i see 6 or 7 wins including an upset or two. then Jim Harbaugh is gonna start getting talked about as the next coach at Michigan when the Rich Rod flame out finishes in one more year.

4. Texas Tech- noone is talking about The Red Raiders...and i couldn't really tell you why. i mean YES they did lose their record breaking QB and star Wide receiver, but it's never been about the players at Texas Tech. it's the system. they always win 8 or 9 games. they always score a ton of points. they always go to a bowl. they'll probably end up ranked in the top 25. this is why i was excited about the prospects of the Good Captain Leach coming to the Plains....oh well.

5. Kansas- they've got a veteran QB in Todd Reesing and a descent running game. and should be able to build momentum with wins in the first 5 games of the season. granted their schedule is a son-of-a-bitch (Texas & Oklahoma, & Texas Tech from the South...that's just not fair) but they could easily win all the rest of the games on their schedule and win the North division.

6. Illinois- sure their schedule is tough-ish with non-conference games that include Missouri, Cincinnati, & Fresno State (seriously take some pointers from Penn State...load up on cupcakes) but they've got the most talent and speed in Big 10 outside of Ohio State. look for a 3rd place finish and 8 or 9 wins.

7. Auburn- go ahead, call me a homer...but nobody thinks Auburn is gonna do shit this season. 6-6 seems to be the consensus among experts AND despite being a pretty negative blogger i still have fucking faith in my Auburn Tigers. 8-4 and a trip back to the Peach/Chik-Fil-A/Whatever the Fuck Bowl.

A Public Service Announcement

Hey Recruit,

Were you a Husky boy as a child?

Do you consider yourself a 4th mealer or a 5th mealer?

If someone was trying to take your food would you be able to knock that person down with ease?

Do you enjoy the color orange? Does it make you think of Halloween which makes you think of candy?

Would sex with a woman be considered a lethal act?

Would you be able to engage in physical activity for several hours, once a week, without dying?

if you answered YES to most or all of these then Come on down to Auburn, Alabama and become a Tiger. it's in the South, so you know the food is good.

My Brain Just Exploded

i mean, it IS hard to argue with such sound logic.

via KSK.

Hey Dude, Your List Sucks

the Bleacher Report (some stupid baseball blog written by jerkoffs from the North East) compiled their WORST FANS IN SPORTS list. i'll save you the trouble of clicking over and getting hit with all the spam. their top 10 are....

10. the Cubs for being whiners (agreed)
9. New York Rangers (it's Hockey, who cares)
8. Red Sox for turning into the Yankees(i agree with their inclusion but i'd put them at number 1)
7. The Cardinals for being too nice and not booing (what?)
6. New Jersey Nets for not existing (dude, think outside your tiny Northeastern box. no one knows or cares about the Nets.)
5. Eagles for being evil pricks (yes)
4. Cowboys for not winning a playoff game since Clinton (what does that have to do with their fans?)
3. The Yankees for being snobs (okay. i'm sure you can tell by now that the guy who wrote this is a Mets fan.)
2. Raiders for dressing up in crazy costumes and for their team sucking (i think that qualifies them as diehards...but okay dude, whatever)
1. The Phillies for being violent and crazy (also i would agree, but the Red Sox are still more annoying).

okay first off this list doesn't include a single college fanbase which is not a surprise because people from the city of New York are only aware of things that happen in the North East or things they learn on Sportscenter. noone in New York has ever watched a college football game so they would never know how awful/insane/and retarded things are in THE SEC, Big 10, or Big 12. i mean, what about Texas or Oklahoma? no Red Sox fan has ever ripped off the balls of a Yankees fan, that i am aware of. and where's the hate for the Florida Marlin's non-existant fanbase? they've won TWO FUCKING WORLD SERIES and draw about the same as a Double A baseball team. also any list that leaves off the Duke Blue Devils is completely invalid.

Dear Douchebag,

the Vikings are fucking retarded bringing this hillbilly, attention whore, douchebag onto their team. Super Bowl?! yeah fucking right. Tavaris Jackson had better fucking numbers than Favre did down the stretch to end the season. i wish someone would just Theismann his ass and we'd never have to hear about him playing ever again.

FEAR AND LOATHING IN AUBURN, ALABAMA BEGINS SOON

this pictures illustrates how rough of and offseason it's been for the Tigers and how badly they need to get back on the field and play some football. i can't remember a season that i have wanted to just go ahead and start more than this one. although i'm prone to be angry and negative, i'm attempting to remain as optimistic as possible....yeah right.

POSITIVE VIBES FRIDAY 4 CHRIS TODD

i took a nap, i woke up, i checked all the blogs and noteworthy Auburn sites and Chris Todd IS ACTUALLY the Auburn QB and it wasn't a dream and Tony Franklin didn't secretly steal Gus Malzahn's identity. so that leaves me with no other choice....

(no, not a coup)

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS FULLY ENDORSES THE 1 ARMED ZOMBIE CHRIS TODD FOR QB.


GO! FIGHT! WIN!

EAT BRAINS!!!

WAR EAGLE!!!

ANOTHER SHAMELESS PLUG

shameless plug for my show tonight. come out tonight if you can. fun times.

it's not like you got shit else to do in Athens tonight.

Positive Vibes Friday: Eaten By Teenage Vampires

This is exactly how i want to die.

for more random awesomeness check out my tumblr. it's like this blog, minus anything about sports and with lots of pictures of hot girls and nerdy stuff.

AWESOME

THIS is amazing.

thanks Plainsman Parking Lot for that serious LOL. i really wish i knew how to use photoshop, damnit.

What Burns Never Returns...

...yeah that's right i made a Don Caballero reference in regards to our former would-be QB savior. what, you weren't into late 90s post-rock?



2 seasons ago when Kodi Burns arrived at Auburn i had visions of Dameyune Craig, Micheal Bishop, Dennis Dixon, Pat White, Charlie Ward, & even Tommie Frazier dancing in my head. too bad Auburn doesn't run the old Nebraska option offense...Burns woulda been perfect for that. sadly for all the kids potential he was just never the #1 thing a QB needs to be....Consistent. i blame the constant changes in the offense more than anything, but at the end of the day the coaches didn't believe in him and so that was that.

Burns best quote about losing the job:

"I just told them that I love each and every one of them," he said. "We work together, we sweat together, we bleed together out there working out. I was the guy last year. And things change. Things change for the better most of the time. And things happen for a reason. Just like I said, Chris Todd is the quarterback and whether they wanted me or wanted another quarterback -- it doesn't matter. Chris is the guy. We have to get behind him. He's going to be a leader of this team. I'm also going to be a leader of this team as well."

word. i will be rooting for the kid...

and so it goes for Kodi Burns. welcome to the fantastic world of Auburn receivers.

video via The Goldmine.

Auburn names a starting QB

The Return Of The One-Armed Man

so at the end of last season, after the wheels completely fell off the Spread Eagle ,and all the blame had been spread around, and the tailspin of failure was completely out of control, and Kodi Burns was finally Auburn's starting QB because it was painfully obvious that he was the ONLY option...i would've never in a MILLION FUCKING YEARS guessed that Chris Todd would ever start another game for the Auburn Tigers. AND YET HE FUCKING LIVES!!!! and by that i mean that the Chizik has named Chris Todd as the Auburn starter for the 09 season opener vs. Louisiana Tech. WTF?!?!?!?!?!

if you asked me to bet on who was gonna win the starting job between Neil Caudle, Kodi Burns, Tyrik Rollison, and Chris Todd i would've picked Todd last. i mean Chris Fucking Todd?!?! are you serious?!?! i lost patience with that dude after the Vandy game. remember how that went down?


yeah just like that.

so yeah, Chris Todd. wrap your motherfucking mind around that shit if you haven't already blown it out of your fucking skull with a shotgun. Season of Death 2: The Re-Deathening should be hella rad, dude.

the battle for the back-up spot is between junior Neil Caudle and freshman Tyrik Rollison. and what about Kodi Burns? oh, he's now the WILDCAT QB and a wide receiver. he says he's not gonna transfer...probably cuz he figures if he can't beat out this collection of stiffs what chance does he have anywhere else? besides with the shitty state of Auburn's receiving corp i wouldn't be surprised if he ends up a starter. i really feel bad for Kodi, he never had a fucking chance. one assumes that if Rollison ends up being the backup then he's probably gonna be the starter at some point in the season whenever things go to shit and Auburn's just playing for 2010. i guess the coaches must just said, "Hey you know what would be really funny? we should take this offense that's supposed to be all about pace and the QB's ability to make plays and then just pick the slowest guy on the team and make him be the QB. you know the guy who drove all the fans nuts and who couldn't throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. that would be the ultimate lulz."

so i say it one more time just so it sinks into that blackhole i call a brain: CHRIS TODD IS THE STARTING QB FOR AUBURN IN 2010.



Dear Chris Todd,

please be like Matt Ryan and make me eat a big shit sandwich. understand that it's not personal and i just like having shit to be angry about. i will root my ass off for you.

thanks

yr friend,

justin

oh yeah and some dude named Vick is an Eagle now

just as i was eating dinner and getting ready for band practice i heard the news: Mike Vick signed with the motherfucking Eagles. say what? yeah i'm sure this will work out fine. let's take Mike Vick who is a PR nightmare and stick his ass in a racist city like Philly with the biggest bunch of asshole fans in the country (outside of the Red Sox) and let's not forget that you've got a big sulking pussy named McNabb who is starting ahead of him and will no doubt get injured at some point this year and force Vick to have to start. FIREWORKS BABY, FIREWORKS!!!

ugggghhhh. December 6th when the Eagles come to Atlanta is going to be ugly. like in the most dumbass, annoying, and terrible kind of way.

Hey, It's my completely useless Pre-Season College Football poll

Everybody's doin' it...might as well throw mine out there too.

1. Florida
2. Texas
3. USC
4. Oklahoma
5. Ohio State
6. California
7. LSU
8. Alabama
9. Penn State
10. Virginia Tech
11. Ole' Miss
12. Oregon
13. Oklahoma State
14. Florida State
15. Georgia Tech
16. Georgia
17. North Carolina
18. TCU
19. Boise State
20. Iowa
21. BYU
22. Utah
23. Kansas
24. Oregon State
25. Arkansas

no love from me for the Irish. you gotta do more than beat Hawaii in a shitty bowl game to trick me into thinking you're worthy of the top 25.

so yeah my top 25 is pretty much the same as most everyone else's with some switching of positions here and there. i'd like it to be known that i DO NOT think Ole' Miss is going to be a top 25 team this year when the seasons ends. i see them going 4-4 in the SEC with a trip to the Chik-Fil-A bowl or worse. they've got the talent top be in the top 10, i just forsee them being this year's Auburn. my Darkhorse SEC team is going to be Arkansas. they've got a good schedule, their offense should be killer, and someone in the SEC is always a surprise.

PREDICTED SEC STANDINGS

EAST

1. Florida
2. Georgia
3. Tennessee
3. South Carolina
5. Vanderbilt
6. Kentucky

WEST

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Arkansas
4. Ole Miss
4. Auburn
6. Miss. St.

BCS BOWL PREDICTIONS

BCS Title- Florida over Texas
Rose- USC over Ohio State
Sugar- LSU over Penn State
Fiesta- Oklahoma over Boise State
Orange- Virginia Tech over West Virginia


HEISMAN TOP 5

Tim Tebow
Colt McCoy
Sam Bradford
Terell Pryor
Jevan Sneed

So Does The BIG EAST still get to keep it's Auto-BCS bid this year?

when i posted the pre-season top 25 last week i totally forgot to note the fact that NOT ONE SINGLE TEAM from the Big East was in the top 25. NOT ONE!!!! Cinci, Pitt, West Virginia, Rutgers, & South Florida all received around the same amount of votes from the Coaches meaning that nobody knows anything about any of those fucking teams. The Bearcats won the Big East last year but they lost a number of their best defensive players. Rutgers lost their QB, Pitt their star running back, West Virginia their greatest player in school history, and South Florida is South Florida....meaning they'll start out hot and then hit the late season fade just like every other year. so yeah what makes them worthy of an automatic BCS bowl bid this season? the Mountain West has 3 teams in the pre-season top 25 and the WAC has Boise State (as per usual). i really think it's time that the powers that be took that bid away and ended that stupid rule that says no more than 2 teams from a conference can go to a BCS bowl.

War Eagle Angst

Jerry came out with a deeply frightening breakdown of Auburn's current depth woes. hey, at least we've got some good runningbacks! i've got nothing to add other than i'm slowly but surely trying to get my interest level in football back up...but sadly the more and more i think about the 09 season, the more and more i realize i'm gonna be pinning all my hopes on the Falcons this year and not the Tigers.

Help Wanted

i've become a very lazy blogger over the last few months when it comes to the world of sports. it's a combination of there being no football, Auburn's prospects not being that great for the season, me starting my band back up and being all busy with that, my obsession with my tumblr (if you've got one then follow me and i'll follow you and we can be tumblr friends), and just my general boredom during the summer. and so i think i could use a little help from anyone interested in generating some content for A Lifetime Of Defeats.

you don't have to be an Auburn, Falcons, Braves, or Hawks fan (but sharing my love of at least one of my teams would help), you just need to be interested in writing about sports in an off the cuff kind of way and not be afraid to offend anyone by dropping the occasional (or 50) f-bombs during a post and have a descent sense of humor about the pain and misery that rooting for your favorite team can bring you. shoot me an email at alifetimeofdefeats@gmail.com if you are interested.

also no lame BAMA jokes and obsession with what the fuck The Tide is doing, that's not my scene...that's what Track Em Tigers and all those stupid messageboards are for.

Vintage BO

sweet Uni, Bo. i actually remember this issue of SI laying around the house and being super excited about Bo playing baseball.

and if that isn't enough: SUPER BO!!!

Positive Vibes Friday: IT'S BACK!!!

preseason or not, the NFL will be on this weekend and just in time, as Shark Week is almost over. :(

to quote my girlfriend, "Football on Sunday? Yay football!" how the hell did i get so lucky?

and so it begins, The Pre Season Coaches Poll Is Out

the coaches poll is out, kids. time to start bitching and complaining. actually i think you'd find it hard to argue with the top 4. Florida is the defending champs with virtually the exact same team coming back, Texas and Oklahoma were the top also rans, and USC is the most consistent team this decade no matter who they replace. but after that it's any one's guess. Bama is too high in my opinion, but i guess the Dark Lord gets more respect from his fellow coaches than Les Miles. Ole Miss is still a phantom top 10 team to me and i see 2008 Auburn or 2007 Arkansas written all over them. Ohio State is Ohio State. Penn State is about where i'd rank them. California and Oregon should be higher. Georgia and Virginia Tech should both be a little lower. Notre Dame is back in the top 25 because they beat Hawaii in the bowl game, whatever. North Carolina is WAY too low...at least for me. i see them as a potential top 10 sleeper. but yeah, mostly it's a list that tells us that we don't know nothing about nothing. so let's play some football.

2009 preseason poll

Rank Team
1.Florida
2.Texas
3.Oklahoma
4.Southern California
5.Alabama
6.Ohio State
7.Virginia Tech
8.Penn State
9.LSU
10.Mississippi
11.Oklahoma State
12.California
13.Georgia
14.Oregon
15.Georgia Tech
16.Boise State
17.TCU
18.Utah
19.Florida State
20.North Carolina
21.Iowa
22.Nebraska
23.Notre Dame
24.Brigham Young
25.Oregon State

Hey Athens, Next Friday Get Your Face Rocked

Friday Aug 14th @ The Caledonia. The Agenda and The Dumps. come for the garage rock and the falling on the ground and silliness. stay for the brutal metal onslaught. for the 10 people in America who ever liked The Agenda, you will be happy to know we've actually written new songs and will be debuting them at said show. should be a fun night, come out and get your rock on.

i know Auburn started practice. i'm sorry i haven't been blogging about football. i promise my profanity laced rants and stupid attempts at humor will return soon.

Hey, Who Likes Stupid Arguments?

ESPN created some new poll for college football fans to vote for a BRAND NEW Division 1 A that includes only the top 40 programs in the country for some mythical SUPER LEAGUE. and though i agree that D1 could stand to trim a conference or two (The MAC and Sun Belt, most of the teams in Conference USA, some of the MAC & Mountain West), getting it down to a list of just 40 schools is pretty silly...mostly because you'd have to eliminate a number of state schools who would all be able to produce far better football programs without smaller schools sucking away talent (imagine how much better Texas A&M would be if Houston, UTEP, SMU, & Baylor weren't around). anyways only the top 8 SEC Schools made the cut (Alabama, LSU, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Arkansas, Ole Miss, and Auburn).

If there was to be a new Super Division then I think 60 teams would be a better number as you'd be able to include all the traditional powers, the major state schools from all those states who have DI programs, and then include a number of the successful smaller programs like Boise State, BYU, and Utah.

So here would be my Super 60:

The South

Alabama
Auburn
Arkansas
LSU
Ole Miss
Florida
UGA
Tennessee
South Carolina
Kentucky
Florida State
Miami
North Carolina
Georgia Tech
Clemson
North Carolina State
Virginia Tech
Virginia
Maryland
Louisville

Midwest/North

Ohio State
Michigan
Notre Dame
Penn State
Michigan State
Iowa
Wisconsin
Illinois
Minnesota
Boston College
Pittsburgh
West Virginia
UConn
Missouri
Nebraska
Kansas
Kansas State
Cincinnati
Rutgers
Purdue

The West

USC
California
Oregon
Washington
Oregon State
UCLA
Stanford
Arizona
Arizona State
Texas
Oklahoma
Texas A&M
Texas Tech
Colorado
Oklahoma State
TCU
Utah
BYU
Boise State
Hawaii

so yeah, 60 teams broken up into either 3 divisions of 20 or 6 divisions of 10 with 8 playoff spots up for grabs.