Biggest Egomaniac Ever or Biggest Egomaniac Possible?

a one hour special dedicated to Lebron announcing what team he's going to sign with? seriously is he trying to be the most hated man in sports? if the team he picks isn't Cleveland then he will have been successful in making this so.

what a douche.

Fuck You Mike Vick, Forever and Ever Until You Are Dead

Mike Vick informed noted media outlet, Gangsta Grillz Radio, of his desire to play for the Carolina Panthers because of their sweet uniforms, closeness to his former killing fields, and so he can play against the Falcons twice a year.

yeah, fine, that would be awesome. that's two wins a year and if there is truly karma in the world then some Falcons defensive linemen will destroy your fucking knee and end your career with one righteous hit. that would be sweet sweet justice.

Now I Really Hope USC Gets Put On Probation

i knew that douchebag Kiffin was gonna get the USC job. i bet that ESPN won't be killing him for ditching the Vols after one year like they would if he had ditched Ohio State after one season for the Trojans. i also heard them throw out the term "coming off a successful season at Tennessee", did i miss something? didn't they have the same record as Auburn during the regular season and then get manhandled in their bowl game?

you can't really blame Kiffin though...it is the best job in the country. i had spent the Pete Carroll era actually enjoying USC. Carroll is a likeable coach and i am always fascinated by teams that just fucking dominate. but with an unlikable prick like Kiffin (WHO STILL HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING THAT PROVES HE'S A GOOD COACH) running the show, they are now on the hated list.

sucks for Tennessee, but in the long run it'll probably work out for the best for them.

but Vols fans seem to be taking this well.

good sign. but i woulda gone with something more like this:


and so it goes.

top 5 names who jumped into my head:
Butch Davis
David Cutcliffe
Chris Peterson
John Gruden (since they were so all about him last year)
and Mike Leach (just fucking do it Vols, bring the Pirate to the South)

He's Coming

this Sunday, Mike Vick returns to the Dome. granted he's just the 3rd string QB for the Eagles and will probably be on the field 5 or 6 plays...at the most, and yet i am fucking dreading every second of this. i'm smart enough to know that shit could get really mean and really nasty in the Dome (and especially outside where supporters and protesters will surely have a few words with one another)....so i call for the fans of the Falcons, those who are against and those who support Mike Vick, to use some common sense on Sunday afternoon. let's all be as civil about this thing as possible. let's try to be as mature and calm as we can. let's not let a potentially ugly situation turn into something more than an ex-player who some people love and some people hate that some will cheer and some will boo. please. do it for the kids. be adults.

but if Mike Vick should take the field and be snapped in half by an on coming rusher...well that wouldn't be so bad either.

Josh McDaniels, i feel your pain

found this piece of amazing via KSK. i have uttered this very phrase many, many, many times.

i have watched that at least 12 times.

hey remember when the Broncos were 6-0? me neither.

Good Riddance

college football is about to be down one less douchebag after the Irish wrapped up another disappointing season under Charlie Weis. Notre Dame finishes up the season 6-6 after Stanford gave em a nice little "fuck you" send off. for a team that basically gift wrapped it's own season with as many home games as possible and was in their 5th year under Charlie's "superior NFL system" with countless numbers of 4 and 5 star "talent" a .500 record just ain't gonna cut it.

there have been few college coaches that i've ever hated as much as Weis and that isn't even because he coaches at Notre Dame. the guy has been one giant fucking pile of douche from the moment he stepped on to the scene. that Notre Dame even gave him that giant ass extension because he ALMOST beat USC is one of the dumbest things ever. the dude NEVER WON ANYTHING!!! they had zero big time wins in his tenure. probably the best team they ever beat was Michigan State. it's a miracle they were able to beat Boston College this season. he fucking sucks, he can't coach, his teams can't beat anyone worth a shit, and his recruits are all highly overrated just because they are going to Notre Dame.

a list of suggestions i have for the Irish for their next head coach.

1. Nick Saban
2. Nick Saban
3. Nick Saban
4. Nick Saban
5. Urban Meyer
6. Bobby Petrino
7. Les Miles
8. Nick Saban
9. Lane Kiffin (just to have a possibly bigger douchebag in South Bend)
10. Lou Holtz

Suicide Watch (2010), Iron Bowl

take that national title shot and shove it down their fucking throats!

War Eagle, Motherfucker.

Iron Bowl Week

I BLAME THIS GUY

i wish we could fire him/make him quit (what the fuck ever) again.

fuck you, you one hit wonder, sorry-ass-recruiting, duck hunting, media darling, big eared, jerk. Auburn might as well be on probation with the talent you left behind. you are officially dead to me.

Dear Douchebag,

the Vikings are fucking retarded bringing this hillbilly, attention whore, douchebag onto their team. Super Bowl?! yeah fucking right. Tavaris Jackson had better fucking numbers than Favre did down the stretch to end the season. i wish someone would just Theismann his ass and we'd never have to hear about him playing ever again.

Lies That Urban Meyer Told Me

via Dr. Saturday.

this photo made me laugh my ass off. ah Reality. you are not welcome in the realm of college football player 40 times.


on another Florida related note, when is Orson gonna come to terms with his favorite teams Lawlessness and rename that Fulmer Cup after Urban Meyer? my guess would be never.

still let us list off as many Florida players as we can who have been arrested under Urban's watch.

Carl Johnson (breaking a restraining order filed by his ex)
Cameron Newton (stealing laptop and then throwing it out a window when the cops showed up)
Jamar Hornsby (stealing dead girl's credit card, also arrested this weekend for jumping a guy in a McDonald's drive thru...but that's Houston Nutt's problem now)
Jacques Rickerson (battery)
...that's just this last year.

in 2007 you had, Dustin Doe (fighting)
Ronnie Wilson (shooting an AK 47)
Dorian Munroe (theft)
Brandon Powell and Brandon James (drugs)
Tony Joiner (stole his own car from impound lot)
Jermaine Cunningham & Jon Demps (misdemeanor battery of a Jimmy John's employee)
John Curtis(violated probation).

in 2006 you had Kenneth Tookes shoot a gun into an occupied apartment and Marcus Thomas got kicked off the team for failing a drug test.

and then of course poor Avery Atkins had a number of run in's with the law that got him kicked off the team and he later committed suicide.

all in all there have been 22 players that've had an issue with law enforcement during Meyer's tenure. Barry Switzer would be proud. maybe these players should be using that subhuman speed to run from the cops.

so yeah, that's a nice program you've got there Coach Meyer. as long as you keep winning nobody will ever give a shit. there are always gonna be issues with football players at any university, but 22 player in 4 years is out of control.

The U isn't dead, it just moved the Gainsville.

something that annoys me

This has nothing to do with anything other than the fact I've been reading everyone else's blog in lieu of actually writing on mine, but what the fuck is up with fucking nerds who write "First!" in the comment section on blogs? Are you fucking 7? First? Who cares you big fucking tool?! It reminds me that these internets are a series of tubes clogged with douchebags and it makes my LOL-hating self wanna punch/stab/kill! I liked the internet better when it was just porn, mullet hunters, and a place for emo kids to hook up. The 21st century blows.

my thoughts on the whole A Rod/ Steroids thing

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Oh baseball. You stupid old whore. It's all over, like Alternative rock and American supremacy. Fuck it dude, we've got football, so who gives a shit?

That being said...keep the government away from the damn NFL and you fucking do-gooder self righteous sportswriters need to keep your noses out of what goes on in the "real" American sport. Baseball has fucked itself beyond repair, don't ruin football for us too. Do I think the NFL is full of HGH abusing freaks? Yell yes. But ya know what, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!

My favorite irony in all of this is the fact that The Texas Rangers are the ground zero of the steroid era with Canseco, Sosa, Palmeiro, Juan Gonzalez. Pudge Rodriguez, & A Rod all having their names linked to 'roids. Hey, remind me which former US President used to be part owner of that same team and got this whole steroid witch hunt started in the first place. I mean I know he couldn't ever find any WMDs but you'd think he might've been able to figure out half his team was on the juice back in the 90s.

Jose Canseco really needs to write a new book called "Hey Major League Baseball, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes".

Life Hands Me Yet Another Defeat

went shopping for groceries after work to stock up on gameday supplies cuz i had no plans on leaving the couch this Saturday. found a great spot and everything. i was in and out with a flash only to discover this...

really? you're just gonna knock my side view mirror off with your oversized SUV and not even leave me a note? fucking sorority girls. this is probably a bad omen for Auburn tomorrow night.

ASSHOLES!

so what happened while we were in a state of fever, hacking our lungs out?

apparently all the pussy ass conferences (aka Pac 10, Big 12, Big East, Big 10, and Notre Dame) shot down and killed both a possible plus 1 and 4 team playoff and elected to keep the BCS as it is until 2014, when those same bunch of assholes will vote to keep it like it is for another 8 years or so. FUCK THE ROSE BOWL, FUCK THE PAC 10, FUCK THE BIG 10 (11), and FUCK NOTRE DAME. the Big East is just trying to protect it's ass because it knows it would never make a 4 team playoff and i don't really know what the Big 12's deal is. whatever, with the current format, expect to keep seeing Ohio State ending up in National Title Games every year or so being trounced by some 11-2 or 12-1 SEC team.

My 300th Post...

...is actually something i posted when i first started this site and posted on my other blog as well. but i like it, so i am posting it again.


in the growing age of controversey over athletes using performance enhancing drugs i think that it's time to stop the witch hunt and start looking at the source of this whole problem. it's time that we faced up to the fact that Captain America is the one to blame. i know that may not be a popular stance to take, especially in a time of war when many Americans feel the need to cling to symbols of freedom, honor, and the American Way...but facts are facts. Captain America is the original 'roider.

a brief history lesson for people who weren't nerds in middle school or are just unaware of popular culture: Captain America started off as a pretty normal guy. During World War II, a young Steve Rogers tried to enlist into the military, but was turned away due to his frail and sickly body. Steve Rogers was given another chance to serve his country though, as a General overheard his rejection and offered him a chance to fight the Nazis by being a part of a top-secret experiment. Steve agreed. He was given a super-solider serum and was blasted by radiation. After the process, Steves body was no longer sickly and frail but the pinnacle of human perfection. (in other words they gave the motherfucker steroids) Granted it was to fight the Nazis not crush 450 foot homers, but still he was running around kicking Nazi ass with some shrunken balls. and the US Government was totally complicit in the whole thing.

Flash forward to kids growing up in the 60s, 70's, and 80s with dreams of being heroes on the baseball diamond and so they start taking their own super serum. So yeah, basically Stan Lee and Marvel comics owe the fans of Major League baseball a big apology. Captain America needs to start running a disclaimer on the cover of every issue and a astrick should be attached to all back issues that are ever reprinted. and the media needs to get off the backs of all the guys who were just doing what America's greatest superhero has been doing for the past 65 years...except for Barry Bonds. fuck that guy.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Bracket Busters Day 2

has there ever been so much fucking red on your bracket after one round of the NCAA tourney?

Worst First Round EVER. only got 20 out of 32 and tied for next to last place. holy fuck. what were you thinking about by having faith in Vandy? you know they can't win any games away from their fucked up homecourt.

again i overthink things and they bite me on the ass.

STEPHEN HILL!!!! Arkansas thugs on Indiana who ushered themselves out of the tourney and back into irrelevance as Gordon will be heading on to the League. why'd i lose faith in the Hawgs and change that pick? goddamn it.

Western Fucking Kentucky owns your darkhorse pick Drake. don't fuck with anybody whose nickname is the Hilltoppers. they climb mountains bitch! and they sink game winning three point daggers into your motherfuckin' heart!

so much for the Pac 10's dominance. there are officially as many SEC teams that made it to the 2nd round and Pacific Ten'ers. of course UCLA and Stanford both could make it to the final four and Mississippi State and Arkansas are probably gettin' bounced in the 2nd round...but still.

oh well, lessons learned for next year: you know nothing about basketball, stop picking upsets.

bright side: my elite 8 and final fours are still intact and i've got a Final Four that no one else in my pool has got, so i'm still in the running for the cash despite my low spot right now. hopefully round 2 treats me better, cuz i just got my fucking ass kicked.

i need to watch something to make me feel better.

ok, i'm fine now.

Adios Ron Mexico...it was nice playing as you on Madden

23 months = you will never play another game in the NFL again...probably. oh well, and so it goes for the greatest video game athlete of all time (behind Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson...i mean it's not even fair to put him in the running). every time you lost to some jackass on Madden who was using the Atlanta Falcons you fully understood how fucking awesome Mike Vick truly could be. i guess you gotta worry about Vince Young now gamers.

Free Mike Vick Bitch!

indeed.

no need for any real comments from rational humans of the world. this video sums it up.

Fucking ESPN is SOOOOOO Gay part 10,867

"If a man loves God and God loves him hows he is gonna love him less for sharing a brother forty ounce?" - Leroy Pontrell Perkins

good question. an even better question is why the fuck did ESPN take up an entire hour of it's time yesterday to have a town hall meeting in Atlanta about Mike Vick and the divide among blacks and whites? i love how the issue of race was the only thing that was really focused on during the entire debate and basically it was just ESPN trying to stir up trouble and keep bringing up a story that actually has very little to do with race and everything to do with fame and a since of entitlement that pro-athletes and other celebrities have. i'm honestly sick of the issue. the majority of the audience members seemed to have this idea that the white media was not out to "get" Vick, when in actuality the media in general is just as happy to drag down a white celebrity as it is a black one. just ask Lohan and Britney. it's all about selling papers and getting ratings and getting people to watch your stupid town hall meetings instead of just letting a dumbass who got caught doing something illegal go to jail, do his time, and then maybe get a second chance at playing football...if someone feels like giving it to him. other than that, this is basically now a non-issue. get over it and move on to something else. hey ESPN, T.O. is behaving in Dallas, maybe you should go stir up some shit down there and leave Atlanta alone to die the slow death of a 2-14 season. fuckers.