So Much Wasted Talent and Youth

Fuck You Mike Vick, Forever and Ever Until You Are Dead

Mike Vick informed noted media outlet, Gangsta Grillz Radio, of his desire to play for the Carolina Panthers because of their sweet uniforms, closeness to his former killing fields, and so he can play against the Falcons twice a year.

yeah, fine, that would be awesome. that's two wins a year and if there is truly karma in the world then some Falcons defensive linemen will destroy your fucking knee and end your career with one righteous hit. that would be sweet sweet justice.

The Chiz Grounded Rollison

Way To Go, Tyrik. whatever the fuck you did. (gettin' in fights, bad grades, smokin' weed, gun running, whatever). i'm gonna go out on a limb and assume it's grades based on his grammatical prose via the ole' facebook. but for reals, this is why redshirting kids is bad, they get bored and into trouble. let's all hope this isn't then end for our QB savior to be...cuz if it is then we will be plenty fucked in 2011, if not 2010.

and coach, quit kicking everyone off the team, damnit. i respect your whole discipline thing blah blah blah, but QBs are supposed to get away with whatever they want. don't you think Les Miles wishes he still had Ryan Perrilloux?

When You Put Stupid Emo Wings on Yr Unis This Is What Happens....

LaGarrett Blount wins the award for douchebag of the week.

way to sucker punch a guy after you talked a bunch of shit before the game and then followed that up with an attempt to go into the stands and fight some Boise State fans Ron Artest style until you had to be restrained by your coaches and some cops. You get a big fat "Way To Go" for your effort.

hey LaGarrett, do you hear that sound?

that's your future draft stock falling like a fucking stone in water.

fuckhead.

But hey you weren't the only Duck actingly like a spoiled brat. A couple of your teammates decided to fight with each other as soon as the game ended. Yeah I can really see you guys challenging USC for that Pac 10 crown this year. How do you spell nosedive?

oh yeah and some dude named Vick is an Eagle now

just as i was eating dinner and getting ready for band practice i heard the news: Mike Vick signed with the motherfucking Eagles. say what? yeah i'm sure this will work out fine. let's take Mike Vick who is a PR nightmare and stick his ass in a racist city like Philly with the biggest bunch of asshole fans in the country (outside of the Red Sox) and let's not forget that you've got a big sulking pussy named McNabb who is starting ahead of him and will no doubt get injured at some point this year and force Vick to have to start. FIREWORKS BABY, FIREWORKS!!!

ugggghhhh. December 6th when the Eagles come to Atlanta is going to be ugly. like in the most dumbass, annoying, and terrible kind of way.

Let Us Never Speak Of This Again

The biggest non-surprise of all time took place today as the Atlanta Falcons officially released Mike Vick.

So yeah, it finally happened. I'm sure there are some people who will be upset about this, but I think 90% of Falcons fans don't care and would just like to move on.

If I was Vick i'd go play in the UFL or CFL for a season.

And seriously stop talking about him in the Wildcat...dude is a fucking QB. Hate him or love him, he's still better than about 8 or 9 starters in the NFL. Screw Favre, if I was the Vikings i'd go after Mike.

Top 7 teams I think Mike Vick could end up with. I don't care what these teams have said in the past.

1. Cowboys
2. Seahawks
3. 49ers
4. Redskins
5. Ravens
6. Raiders
7. Patriots (oh don't think they wouldn't do it)

oh, what a waste.


we'll always have Madden.

I Still Got Love For Matt Jones

so Matt Jones was let go by the Jacksonville Jaguars yesterday following his recent arrest for violating his parole. this is only newsworthy to this blog because few players ever scared the shit out of me more when they were going up against Auburn than Matt Jones did. he was Tim Tebow before there ever was a Tim Tebow, but without all the freakish talent around him and with better speed. if the Falcons wanna sell me a jersey they should sign up Jones and teach him how to be a tight end. plus he'd be an awesome weapon in the Wild Cat. whey Jacksonville didn't run that play with him on everydown last year is beyond me.

Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before

Whenever you type the words "dumb motherfucker" together, google should automatically redirect you here.

in case you haven't heard, former Georgia Bulldogs and Dallas Cowboys QB, Quincy Carter got himself arrested....AGAIN.

DWIs are a bitch.

when i think about wastes of talent, i often think of Cocaine Quincy first. he may have done more blow in Athens than the entire music scene combined.

in other football players who are dumbasses news, Kellen Winslow and his swollen balls got traded to the Bucs. as if i needed another reason to hate Tampa Bay. i guess they needed a "soldier".

"I think it's his self-confidence in himself that make him so confident when it get down into the crunch time."

i know i'm a few days late, but this story made me very sad, as ESPN has decided to let America's favorite linguist go. watching Emmitt Smith on television these last two seasons has been a rare treat. his way with the spoken language is a thing of beauty. first ESPN took away our Irvin and now they've robbed us of Smith. how the fuck am i supposed to endure Chris Berman if their isn't an illiterate former Cowboy on the set to supply me some comedy relief? for shame.

Awful Announcing put together a list of his favorite Emmittisms. enjoy.



next Year KB and I are planning on starting a new fantasy football league that was inspired by Smith's famous "Rice Of Passage" line. thank you for all of your hard work Emmitt. you will be missed.

Alabama Is For Lovers

my good friend, noted shit talker, and fellow Alabama ex-patriot Kenniebloggins shot me a link to an article about a brawl that went down between Montgomery's G.W. Carver High School and Valley High during the 5A Boys State Basketball Playoffs. you may or may not have seen this elsewhere on the Interweb but regardless here's the video.

"I'll tattoo my name on your ass" is my catch phrase for 2009

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God Damn, These Morning Games Suck

Baylor and my boy Robert Griffin (if you don't know you better youtube somebody) is getting destroyed by Oklahoma. Tebow and Florida are just sleep walking to victory against Arkansas. The ACC morning game features NC State and Boston College and i'd honestly rather watch golf than those two teams play. and then the rest is Big 10 football and there's no need to tell you how i feel about that.

luckily i went out the other day and purchased the single greatest book written since WAR AND PEACE. Jeff Pearlman's masterpiece BOYS WILL BE BOYS: The Glory Days and Party Nights Of The Dallas Cowboys Dynasty. truly only Motley Crue's Dirt comes close to the awesomness of this piece of literary gold. key words: cocaine, masturbation, orgies, ego, football, grown men crying, stabbing motherfuckers in the neck with scissors, pussy, cocaine orgies, the white house, America's team. if you ever read the Led Zeppelin book Hammer of the Gods or Motely Crue's Dirt and thought only rock stars could be that fucking insane then you should probably check this book out and get your learn on. reading these tales of debauchery make me weep that i had not been born a little bit earlier and with 4.4 speed and the strength of a bull on steroids. this book is magical. i highly recommend.

Thug Apologists Welcome Matt Jones to the Fold

Eazy E is proud to announce that he has landed a new customer....errrr player to the Thug Apologists roster. Matt Jones! he loves him some cocaine and suddenly he also loves being the Jaguars go to receiver. who knew? it must be the sweet 'stache that he grew after getting busted for doing blow. whatever it is we is proud to have his freakish cracker ass on our fantasy team.

We were sorely lacking in the dumbass department on this team...mostly hoping Favre would have a painkiller and booze relapse under the pressures of playing in the NYC. now we got us a go to receiver/coke head to make this team way more interesting.

Bengals Can't Quit Chris Henry

The Thug Apologists would like to send a warm welcome to Chris Henry (aka the dumbest man in sports) who is back to the NFL. Henry has been resigned by the Cincinnati Bengals, despite the fact that Henry suffers from a severe case of constantly arrested. The Bengals are feeling a little thin at wide receiver as both TJ and Chad have some injury issues and also they were feeling that the drama level of their team just wasn't high enough. The Thug Apologists call this move both awesome and ballsy. hopefully this works out because you always have a spot on our fantasy team, young Mr. Henry.

hey Bengals, Odell Thurman is waiting for your call.

Georgia is drunk as hell, Bama is in prison

so it's been quite an off-season for both of Auburn's hated rivals. Alabama has transformed themselves into Thug-U 2.0 and the Bulldogs continue their annual summer tradition of being drunker than fuck, pissing on stuff, getting in fights with parking meters and generally being jackasses, and getting arrested for it (yeah that national title is totally gonna happen). did Richt hire Quincy Carter in the off season as some kind of motivational speaker? one might say that the Dawgs are a little overconfident going into this year and it's making them act like a bunch of douchebags....but you'd be wrong. they were always douchebags. enjoy that #1 ranking while it lasts.

Auburn has amazingly stayed out of trouble, so far. no DUIs (an Auburn specialty) or suspensions for breaking "team rules" aka smokin' weed. of course with my luck Kodi Burns, Ben Tate, and Lee Ziemba will all get busted in an international arms dealing ring or something equally sinister.

Please, Don't Take Emmitt Away

Goddamn it! ESPN knows how to ruin a good thing. first they got rid of Michael Irvin and now they are taking Emmitt Smith away from us on Sunday Night Countdown and replacing him with the highly unlikeable Chris Carter. where else am i gonna get quotes like "Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage." now the Emmitt is being limited in his role? it's time ESPN did the right thing and gave Irvin and Smith their own show together called We Some Cowboys.

Matt Jones Loves The Cocaine

former Arkansas QB and current Jacksonville Jaguars receiver, Matt Jones, got busted doing blow by the Fayetteville Police. what a fucking douchebag. it's bad enough that he was doing coke, but to get arrested by the cops chopping up lines in your car in the town where you were a college football legend is just beyond stupid.

obviously Fayetteville is not governed by the same laws as Athens, GA where Quincy Carter managed to make it through his career at UGA without ever getting busted. DUMBASS.

Jimmy Johns Likes The Cocaine

Alabama runningback/linebacker/MB's favorite thug, Jimmy Johns, got arrested for selling cocaine. looks like Saban is doing a good job of turning the Tide from that shitty team that Shula used to coach into the 1980s Miami Hurricanes.

All Our Runningbacks Are Dumber Than Shit

as is usually the case with any recruiting class there are a number of players who don't qualify to play Division I college football. this is why prep schools like Hargrove Academy exist and why we have junior colleges. this year for Auburn is no exception with both of our top runningback recruits needing some extra schoolin' to get those grades up to par. oh well, so much for Onterrio McCalebb and Reggie Hunt for 2008...not that we needed the depth or anything. hopefully these guys don't pull an Enrique Davis (Auburn's RB super recruit from a year ago) and bolt for another school after a year spent trying to qualify. the good news is Auburn already signed a 4 star recruit for the 2009 season named Rodney Scott (ranked the number 5 all-purpose back in the country)...let's just hope the kid knows how to read and can get into school because we ARE gonna need some backs next year with Brad Lester and Tristan Davis moving on after this season.

Perrilloux!!!

our Hero, Ryan Perrilloux, got his butt kicked off the LSU team cuz he got busted smokin' that weed. coming out of highschool, Perrilloux was considered the number 1 QB prospect in the country and was thought of as the next Mike Vick...oh how right they were. it's a sad day for LSU fans and a happy one for everybody else. go ahead and crank that Western Division title Auburn fans. we got this shit.