A Completely Meaningless and Not Very Well Thought Pre-Season Top 25

A Lifetime of Defeat's Pre-Season Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oklahoma
3. Florida
4. Miami
5. TCU
6. Ohio State
7. Texas
8. Oregon
9. Nebraska
10. Virginia Tech
11. Boise State
12. USC
13. Wisconsin
14. Florida State
15. Georgia
16. Auburn
17. Georgia Tech
18. Pitt
19. Houston
20. Arizona
21. Arkansas
22. LSU
23. North Carolina
24. Iowa
25. Washington

NFL 2009 Predictions

AFC

East

Patriots
Dolphins
Bills
Jets

North

Ravens
Steelers
Bengals
Browns

South

Colts
Texans
Titans
Jaguars

West

Chargers
Raiders
Chiefs
Broncos

Wild cards- Texans & Titans

Champs- Chargers

NFC

East

Giants
Cowboys
Eagles
Redskins

North

Vikings
Bears
Packers
Lions

South

Saints
Falcons
Panthers
Bucs

West

Seahawks
Cardinals
49ers
Rams

Wild cards- Bears, Cowboys

Champ- Giants

Superbowl Champion- Giants

MVP- Drew Brees

Poor Crazy Old Man

Dr. Lou wants you to know that Notre Dame is gonna play Florida for the National Title this year. yeah, he actually said that.

is it time for Mark May and Reece Davis to put the ole' Doctor in a home?

Everyone Likes a Darkhorse

okay, so i already wasted my time with a useless pre-season poll. amd now i unleash my even more useless top Darkhorses/Sleepers in the BCS conferences.

1. Arkansas- Arkansas is EVERYONE's sleeper pick this season, so maybe believing the hype isn't the safest bet, but The Hawgs have 8 very winnable games and also they could easily upset a team like LSU or Ole Miss on the road. i predict 9-3 and a 2nd or 3rd place finish in the SEC West and a trip to a New Year's bowl. then they'll be the hyped Top 10 team to fall on their face in 2010.

2. North Carolina State- granted everyone in the ACC probably could qualify as a Darkhorse/Sleeper but i think NC State could be this year's GA Tech. their two toughest home games are North Carolina at the end of the year and the always schizophrenic Clemson. their road slate seems rough on paper with Wake, Va Tech, FSU, & Boston College. NC State also has the league's top QB.

3. Stanford- last year Stanford was 5-7. this year they return almost their entire starting offense and most of their defense. they have a tough schedule for sure but i see 6 or 7 wins including an upset or two. then Jim Harbaugh is gonna start getting talked about as the next coach at Michigan when the Rich Rod flame out finishes in one more year.

4. Texas Tech- noone is talking about The Red Raiders...and i couldn't really tell you why. i mean YES they did lose their record breaking QB and star Wide receiver, but it's never been about the players at Texas Tech. it's the system. they always win 8 or 9 games. they always score a ton of points. they always go to a bowl. they'll probably end up ranked in the top 25. this is why i was excited about the prospects of the Good Captain Leach coming to the Plains....oh well.

5. Kansas- they've got a veteran QB in Todd Reesing and a descent running game. and should be able to build momentum with wins in the first 5 games of the season. granted their schedule is a son-of-a-bitch (Texas & Oklahoma, & Texas Tech from the South...that's just not fair) but they could easily win all the rest of the games on their schedule and win the North division.

6. Illinois- sure their schedule is tough-ish with non-conference games that include Missouri, Cincinnati, & Fresno State (seriously take some pointers from Penn State...load up on cupcakes) but they've got the most talent and speed in Big 10 outside of Ohio State. look for a 3rd place finish and 8 or 9 wins.

7. Auburn- go ahead, call me a homer...but nobody thinks Auburn is gonna do shit this season. 6-6 seems to be the consensus among experts AND despite being a pretty negative blogger i still have fucking faith in my Auburn Tigers. 8-4 and a trip back to the Peach/Chik-Fil-A/Whatever the Fuck Bowl.

The Return Of The One-Armed Man

so at the end of last season, after the wheels completely fell off the Spread Eagle ,and all the blame had been spread around, and the tailspin of failure was completely out of control, and Kodi Burns was finally Auburn's starting QB because it was painfully obvious that he was the ONLY option...i would've never in a MILLION FUCKING YEARS guessed that Chris Todd would ever start another game for the Auburn Tigers. AND YET HE FUCKING LIVES!!!! and by that i mean that the Chizik has named Chris Todd as the Auburn starter for the 09 season opener vs. Louisiana Tech. WTF?!?!?!?!?!

if you asked me to bet on who was gonna win the starting job between Neil Caudle, Kodi Burns, Tyrik Rollison, and Chris Todd i would've picked Todd last. i mean Chris Fucking Todd?!?! are you serious?!?! i lost patience with that dude after the Vandy game. remember how that went down?


yeah just like that.

so yeah, Chris Todd. wrap your motherfucking mind around that shit if you haven't already blown it out of your fucking skull with a shotgun. Season of Death 2: The Re-Deathening should be hella rad, dude.

the battle for the back-up spot is between junior Neil Caudle and freshman Tyrik Rollison. and what about Kodi Burns? oh, he's now the WILDCAT QB and a wide receiver. he says he's not gonna transfer...probably cuz he figures if he can't beat out this collection of stiffs what chance does he have anywhere else? besides with the shitty state of Auburn's receiving corp i wouldn't be surprised if he ends up a starter. i really feel bad for Kodi, he never had a fucking chance. one assumes that if Rollison ends up being the backup then he's probably gonna be the starter at some point in the season whenever things go to shit and Auburn's just playing for 2010. i guess the coaches must just said, "Hey you know what would be really funny? we should take this offense that's supposed to be all about pace and the QB's ability to make plays and then just pick the slowest guy on the team and make him be the QB. you know the guy who drove all the fans nuts and who couldn't throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. that would be the ultimate lulz."

so i say it one more time just so it sinks into that blackhole i call a brain: CHRIS TODD IS THE STARTING QB FOR AUBURN IN 2010.



Dear Chris Todd,

please be like Matt Ryan and make me eat a big shit sandwich. understand that it's not personal and i just like having shit to be angry about. i will root my ass off for you.

thanks

yr friend,

justin

Hey, It's my completely useless Pre-Season College Football poll

Everybody's doin' it...might as well throw mine out there too.

1. Florida
2. Texas
3. USC
4. Oklahoma
5. Ohio State
6. California
7. LSU
8. Alabama
9. Penn State
10. Virginia Tech
11. Ole' Miss
12. Oregon
13. Oklahoma State
14. Florida State
15. Georgia Tech
16. Georgia
17. North Carolina
18. TCU
19. Boise State
20. Iowa
21. BYU
22. Utah
23. Kansas
24. Oregon State
25. Arkansas

no love from me for the Irish. you gotta do more than beat Hawaii in a shitty bowl game to trick me into thinking you're worthy of the top 25.

so yeah my top 25 is pretty much the same as most everyone else's with some switching of positions here and there. i'd like it to be known that i DO NOT think Ole' Miss is going to be a top 25 team this year when the seasons ends. i see them going 4-4 in the SEC with a trip to the Chik-Fil-A bowl or worse. they've got the talent top be in the top 10, i just forsee them being this year's Auburn. my Darkhorse SEC team is going to be Arkansas. they've got a good schedule, their offense should be killer, and someone in the SEC is always a surprise.

PREDICTED SEC STANDINGS

EAST

1. Florida
2. Georgia
3. Tennessee
3. South Carolina
5. Vanderbilt
6. Kentucky

WEST

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Arkansas
4. Ole Miss
4. Auburn
6. Miss. St.

BCS BOWL PREDICTIONS

BCS Title- Florida over Texas
Rose- USC over Ohio State
Sugar- LSU over Penn State
Fiesta- Oklahoma over Boise State
Orange- Virginia Tech over West Virginia


HEISMAN TOP 5

Tim Tebow
Colt McCoy
Sam Bradford
Terell Pryor
Jevan Sneed

and so it begins, The Pre Season Coaches Poll Is Out

the coaches poll is out, kids. time to start bitching and complaining. actually i think you'd find it hard to argue with the top 4. Florida is the defending champs with virtually the exact same team coming back, Texas and Oklahoma were the top also rans, and USC is the most consistent team this decade no matter who they replace. but after that it's any one's guess. Bama is too high in my opinion, but i guess the Dark Lord gets more respect from his fellow coaches than Les Miles. Ole Miss is still a phantom top 10 team to me and i see 2008 Auburn or 2007 Arkansas written all over them. Ohio State is Ohio State. Penn State is about where i'd rank them. California and Oregon should be higher. Georgia and Virginia Tech should both be a little lower. Notre Dame is back in the top 25 because they beat Hawaii in the bowl game, whatever. North Carolina is WAY too low...at least for me. i see them as a potential top 10 sleeper. but yeah, mostly it's a list that tells us that we don't know nothing about nothing. so let's play some football.

2009 preseason poll

Rank Team
1.Florida
2.Texas
3.Oklahoma
4.Southern California
5.Alabama
6.Ohio State
7.Virginia Tech
8.Penn State
9.LSU
10.Mississippi
11.Oklahoma State
12.California
13.Georgia
14.Oregon
15.Georgia Tech
16.Boise State
17.TCU
18.Utah
19.Florida State
20.North Carolina
21.Iowa
22.Nebraska
23.Notre Dame
24.Brigham Young
25.Oregon State

COACHES ALL SEC PRE-SEASON TEAM

surprise surprise. not a lot of Auburn love from the coaches. still i think Clinton Durst and Ryan Pugh both got robbed. and i know the SEC is a QB wasteland right now...but MIKE FUCKING HARTLINE is on the 3rd team?!

2009 SEC COACHES PRE-SEASON ALL-SEC FOOTBALL TEAM

Pos. Name, School Ht. Wt. Class Hometown

First-Team Offense

TE Richard Dickson, LSU 6-3 246 Sr. Ocean Springs, Miss.
*OL Ciron Black, LSU 6-5 325 Sr. Tyler, Texas
OL Mike Johnson, Alabama 6-6 305 Sr. Pensacola, Fla.
OL Mike Pouncey, Florida 6-5 312 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
OL John Jerry, Ole Miss 6-5 350 Sr. Batesville, Miss.
C Maurkice Pouncey, Florida 6-5 312 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
*WR Julio Jones, Alabama 6-4 210 So. Foley, Ala.
WR A.J. Green, Georgia 6-4 207 So. Summerville, S.C.
QB Tim Tebow, Florida 6-3 240 Sr. Jacksonville, Fla.
RB Michael Smith, Arkansas 5-7 176 Sr. Tallahassee, Fla.
RB Charles Scott, LSU 5-11 233 Sr. Saline, La.

Second-Team Offense

TE D.J. Williams, Arkansas 6-2 251 Jr. Little Rock, Ark.
OL Lee Ziemba, Auburn 6-8 285 Jr. Rogers, Ark.
OL Clint Boling, Georgia 6-5 297 Jr. Alpharetta, Ga.
#OL Chris Scott, Tennessee 6-5 346 Sr. Riverdale, Ga.
#OL Carl Johnson, Florida 6-6 330 Jr. Durham, N.C.
#OL Cordy Glenn, Georgia 6-5 331 So. Riverdale, Ga.
C Josh McNeil, Tennessee 6-4 280 Sr. Collins, Miss.
WR Brandon LaFell, LSU 6-3 209 Sr. Houston, Texas
WR Dexter McCluster, Ole Miss 5-8 165 Sr. Largo, Fla.
QB Jevan Snead, Ole Miss 6-3 215 Jr. Stephenville, Texas
RB Anthony Dixon, Mississippi State 6-1 235 Sr. Jackson, Miss.
RB Jeff Demps, Florida 5-8 176 So. Winter Garden, Fla.

Third-Team Offense

TE Aaron Hernandez, Florida 6-3 255 Jr. Bristol, Conn.
OL Jacques McClendon, Tennessee 6-3 324 Sr. Cleveland, Tenn.
OL Zipp Duncan, Kentucky 6-5 291 Sr. Magnolia, Ky.
OL Mitch Petrus, Arkansas 6-4 315 Sr. Carlisle, Ark.
OL Trinton Sturdivant, Georgia 6-5 306 So. Wadesboro, N.C.
C Jorge Gonzalez, Kentucky 6-3 300 Sr. Tampa, Fla.
WR Shay Hodge, Ole Miss 6-1 207 Sr. Morton, Miss.
#WR Terrance Tolliver, LSU 6-5 194 Jr. Hempstead, Texas
#WR Gerald Jones, Tennessee 6-0 199 Jr. Oklahoma City, Okla.
#QB Stephen Garcia, South Carolina 6-2 219 So. Lutz, Fla.
#QB Mike Hartline, Kentucky 6-6 206 Jr. Canton, Ohio
RB Mark Ingram, Alabama 5-10 215 So. Flint, Mich.
RB Ben Tate, Auburn 5-11 216 Sr. Newark, Md.


First-Team Defense

DL Terrence Cody, Alabama 6-5 365 Sr. Fort Myers, Fla.
DL Greg Hardy, Ole Miss 6-4 265 Sr. Millington, Tenn.
DL Carlos Dunlap, Florida 6-6 290 Jr. North Charleston, S.C.
LB Rolando McClain, Alabama 6-4 249 Jr. Decatur, Ala.
LB Brandon Spikes, Florida 6-3 245 Sr. Shelby, N.C.
LB Rennie Curran, Georgia 5-11 222 Jr. Snellville, Ga.
LB Eric Norwood, South Carolina 6-1 252 Sr. Acworth, Ga.
*DB Eric Berry, Tennessee 5-11 203 Jr. Fairburn, Ga.
DB Javier Arenas, Alabama 5-9 198 Sr. Tampa, Fla.
DB Trevard Lindley, Kentucky 6-0 179 Sr. Hiram, Ga.
DB Joe Haden, Florida 5-11 185 Jr. Ft. Washington, Md.

Second-Team Defense

DL Charles Alexander, LSU 6-3 310 Sr. Breaux Bridge, La.
DL Antonio Coleman, Auburn 6-3 250 Sr. Mobile, Ala.
#DL Geno Atkins, Georgia 6-1 290 Sr. Pembroke Pines, Fla.
#DL Dan Williams, Tennessee 6-3 327 Sr. Memphis, Tenn.
#DL Malcolm Sheppard, Arkansas 6-2 280 Sr. Bainbridge, Ga.
LB Micah Johnson, Kentucky 6-2 258 Sr. Ft. Campbell, Ky.
LB Patrick Benoist, Vanderbilt 6-0 224 Sr. Southlake, Texas
LB Rico McCoy, Tennessee 6-1 220 Sr. Washington, D.C.
LB Dont'a Hightower, Alabama 6-4 250 So. Lewisburg, Tenn.
DB Ahmad Black, Florida 5-9 190 Jr. Lakeland, Fla.
DB Chad Jones, LSU 6-3 214 Jr. New Orleans, La.
DB Prince Miller, Georgia 5-8 198 Sr. Duncan, S.C.
DB Myron Lewis, Vanderbilt 6-2 205 Sr. Pompano Beach, Fla.

Third-Team Defense

DL Jeff Owens, Georgia 6-3 300 Sr. Sunrise, Fla.
DL Marcus Tillman, Ole Miss 6-4 260 Sr. McCall Creek, Miss.
#DL Rahim Alem, LSU 6-3 254 Sr. New Orleans, La.
#DL Corey Peters, Kentucky 6-3 295 Sr. Louisville, Ky.
LB Chris Marve, Vanderbilt 6-0 228 So. Memphis, Tenn.
LB Jamar Chaney, Mississippi State 6-1 245 Sr. Fort Pierce, Fla.
LB Ryan Stamper, Florida 6-2 232 Sr. Jacksonville, Fla.
LB Perry Riley, LSU 6-1 240 Sr. Ellenwood, Ga.
DB Major Wright, Florida 6-0 200 Jr. Miramar, Fla.
DB Janoris Jenkins, Florida 5-10 185 So. Pahokee, Fla.
#DB Ryan Hamilton, Vanderbilt 6-2 210 Sr. Wycombe, Penn.
#DB Chris Culliver, South Carolina 6-0 190 Jr. Garner, N.C.
#DB Reshad Jones, Georgia 6-2 214 Jr. Atlanta, Ga.

First-Team Specialists

PK Leigh Tiffin, Alabama 6-1 199 Sr. Muscle Shoals, Ala.
P Chas Henry, Florida 6-4 215 Jr. Dallas, Ga.
RS Brandon James, Florida 5-7 186 Sr. St. Augustine, Fla.

Second-Team Specialists

PK Jonathan Phillips, Florida 5-10 210 Sr. Wellington, Fla.
P Brett Upson, Vanderbilt 5-11 185 Sr. Griffin, Ga.
RS Javier Arenas, Alabama 5-9 198 Sr. Tampa, Fla.

Third-Team Specialists

PK Joshua Shene, Ole Miss 5-8 170 Sr. Oklahoma City, Okla.
P Spencer Lanning, South Carolina 5-11 188 Jr. Rock Hill, S.C.
RS Trindon Holliday, LSU 5-5 165 Sr. Zachary, La.


* - Unanimous Selections
# - Ties

TOAST

Ole Miss 7-5, i'm callin' it.

Fear and Loathing In Auburn, Alabama: Predicting the 2009 Season

for the first time since Tommy Tuberville's first season Auburn fans are entering a college football season with more fear and loathing than Hunter S. Thompson on 5 hits of acid and wielding salt shaker full of cocaine.

and for good reason. on offense we've got No defined starter at QB, a thin offensive line, a bunch of useless wide receivers, and a stable of good but not elite runningbacks. on defense we replace both starting defensive tackles and 2 linebackers. we also lost our best cornerback to the draft and have a serious issue with experience among all the backups. it's no wonder that Auburn has been almost unanimously picked to finish in 5th place in the SEC West with anywhere between 5 and 7 wins for the year.

okay so worst case scenario from the experts is SEASON OF DEATH Part 2: Electric Boogaloo....and best case = a good season for Kentucky football? yeah...that's where we are right now, which is kind of insane when you think about a team that went undefeated just 5 years ago and was a top 10 team the 2 years following that and last season was predicted to win the SEC West. so did the wheels really just fall off or was last year just one of those perfect storms of FAIL that happen to almost every program every now and again?

sadly i don't have any answers.....so i went and asked a Wizard and the Wizard gave me his predictions for the 2009 Auburn Tigers Football Season:

Kodi Burns will be named the starter for the season opener following fall practices that still result in no clear cut winner at the QB position. Burns experience and athletic ability are what win him the job. Caudle however will get a chance should Burns struggle.

Week 1 vs. La Tech: Auburn plays a sloppy offensive game where Burns fails to generate any kind of a passing offense. Ben Tate however is able to generate a strong rushing attack and Auburn wracks up over 150 yards on the ground and a few touchdowns as well as some key field goals in the 4th while the defense is able to hold La Tech to just 1 touchdown and a field goal. Auburn wins 20-10. the Chizik era gets it's first win but the fans are not happy with Burns or the new offense. many cries of "the Spread is Dead" and "bench Burns" are launched from the sections of the fanbase with the attention span of a gnat.


Week 2 vs. Miss St: after a sloppy game vs. La Tech the Tigers are looking to get the Spread Eagle 2 up and running vs the seriously talent deficient Bulldogs of Mississippi State. Auburn is able to exploit State's lack of experience and their own QB problems and roll to a big victory...31-6. suddenly Auburn fans are starting to believe in Coach Chizik and the new regime.

Week 3 vs. West Fucking Virginia: following their embarrassment in Morgantown last season Auburn is looking to get some payback in 09 vs the Mountaineers. Noel Devine runs wild on the Tigers defense for almost 200 yards...but QB Jarrett Brown is a little too giving with the football and the Tiger's D is able to get some momentum killing turnovers. Burns and Tate both have big games running the football and H-Back Mario Fannin catches a touchdown pass late in the 4th as Auburn squeaks out a win 17-14. Auburn is 3-0 and has beaten a quality team...some insane people even think they'll be able to compete for the division....

Week 4 vs. Ball State: Auburn finishes up their home stand with a all out beatdown of Ball State 38-3 and Onterio McCalebb announces his presence with authority with two 50 yard + touchdown runs. Neil Caudle even gets some playing time in the 2nd half and connects with freshman DeAngelo Benton for a touchdown. Auburn is 4-0 and even i am starting to think maybe they aren't so fucking bad. the world is back to normal.....

Week 5 @ Tennessee: all those good feelings and positive vibes go down in flames as the Auburn Tigers get their asses kicked by a dominating defensive performance by the Vols. Kodi Burns throws 3 interceptions...1 of them returned for a score by Eric Berry and Tennessee's talented freshmen duo decimates the Auburn front 7. a punt return touchdown by Mario Fannin and a field goal in the 4th are Auburn's only points as the Tigers fall hard 28-10.

Week 6 @ Arkansas: reality begins to set in for Auburn fans when the Tigers get their butt's kicked again by a lethal Arkansas offense. Ryan Mallet picks the secondary apart for almost 300 yards and 3 touchdowns in the air and Michael Smith adds another score in the 4th to ice the game. Burns struggles again with 2 interceptions and 0 touchdowns. Fannin and McCalleb both cough up fumbles giving Auburn 4 turnovers on the day and only a Ben Tate touchdown and a fumble return for a score by the defense result in any points. Auburn loses 28-14. they are now 4-2 overall and 1-2 in the SEC. the fans are calling for Burns' head.

Week 7 vs. Kentucky: with Auburn back vs. a weak Kentucky team the coaches decide to make the switch and Neil Caudle is named the starter against the Wildcats. the Auburn passing game has a spark and Caudle is able to exploit the lousy Kentucky defense for 2 touchdowns. Ben Tate and Mario Fannin both add touchdowns on the ground and the defense gives a solid performance after the two bad showings on the road. Auburn wins 31-13.

Week 8 @ LSU: noone in America gives Auburn any kind of chance against LSU...but like every game in this series this one is another classic. neither defense can seem to stop either team's rushing attack and Auburn takes a 21-17 lead into the 4th quarter and drives the football down the field setting themselves up for a game clinching touchdown...unfortunately Neil Caudle throws a costly interception and LSU drives down the field for a go ahead score 24-21. Auburn has the ball back with a few minutes left and is able to get in field goal range to tie the game and send it into overtime but Wes Byrum misses a 33 yarder wide right and i throw my television out the window and swear off watching LSU games ever again.

Week 9 vs. Ole Miss: following the heart breaker to LSU the Tigers must get themselves together for a big Halloween showdown against Ole' Miss. the Rebels haven't exactly lived up to their preseason top 10 expectations but are still favored over the Tigers by 3. this is the ESPN Saturday night game and Jordan-Hare fans are rocking. Auburn gives it's best team performance of the year and shocks Ole Miss with a 20-13 upset making the Tigers bowl eligible and giving fans some hope again.

Week 10 vs. Furman: it's blowout city vs. Furman as the Tiger score 49 points and gain almost 500 yards of total offense. 7 wins and the two biggest games of the year are left.

Week 11 @ UGA: Auburn finally gets some good luck against the Dawgs who jump out to an early lead but then suddenly become turnover prone in the 2nd half allowing Auburn to get back into the the game and claim their 8th win of the year in a 31-28 nailbiter.

Week 12 vs. Alabama: the Tide are looking to start their own winning streak vs. Auburn and the Tigers are looking to avenge the embarrassment of last year's Iron Bowl. unfortunately the Tide still has an advantage in defensive talent and the Auburn offense can't seem to generate any kind of a running game. Caudle gives a solid performance but the Tigers come up short losing to the Tide 24-13.

Auburn finishes the regular season at 8-4. (4-4 in the SEC/ tied for 4th in the West with Ole Miss) and earns a trip to Atlanta to play North Carolina in the Chik-Fil-A bowl. Auburn fans are mostly happy with the way this season went and optimism is high for 2010.

So yeah, that's what my optimistic Wizard friend told me...what are your predictions?

2009 SEC Predictions

so i've inspected all the preseason college football mags and ingested their often highly inaccurate predictions and now i feel like it's my turn to throw out some bullshit that won't be right and will change my mind about a week before the season starts anyways.


based on all the mags Florida is the out and out favorite not only to win the league but also to win the national title...and why wouldn't they be? they've got almost there entire team returning, the best QB in the SEC...and probably the nation, an offense that can't be stopped, and a defense full of 4 and 5 star depth, and a pretty cushy schedule to boot. if Florida can't go undefeated this season then it's never gonna happen for the Gators.


Ole Miss is the trendy pick to win the West and be a top 10 team based on the way they dismantled Texas Tech and knocked off LSU at the end of last year. Ole Miss was a sleeper team for me last season who i thought would probably win 8 games...they exceeded those expectations. this year anything less than 10 wins will be a disappointment for the Rebels. people are looking for a top 10 finish, a New Years Bowl, and maybe even an outside shot at a National title. they've got a couple of darkhorse Heisman candidates in QB Jevan Sneed and WR/Returner/Wild Rebel QB Dexter McCluster. this is it, this is there year....which means they're probably gonna struggle to win 8 games and end up in the Music City Bowl. i mean this is Ole Miss we are talking about, they couldn't win an SEC title with Eli Manning...plus Houston Nutt, despite being a good coach, is never one who delivers on expectations.


Alabama and LSU seem like Florida's to REAL contenders for the SEC. LSU had a bit of a nightmare season last year, for them but the pick-six machine Jarrett Lee is no longer behind center and instead the athletic Jordan Jefferson will be leading the Tigers this season...assuming he can hold off the 5 star freshman Russell Sheppard. LSU has the best runningback in the league in Charles Scott and a wealth of speedsters at receiver and runningback. last year their defense was worthless, but with all the talent they've recruited and with a new defensive coordinator it seems unlikely that trend will continue. still Les Miles is a bit of a retard, so i could see LSU fucking up and losing to some teams that they've got no business losing to and missing that trip to Atlanta.

Alabama has a young and talented defense, a number of quality runningbacks, and one of the two best wide receivers in the SEC in Julio Jones. the Tide do have to replace a number of offensive linemen and will have a brandnew QB...but it's not like Nick Saban asks his QBs to do very much anyways. i assume this years Bama will just run the ball even more than last year's team and try to shutdown everyone they play with good defense....VERY boring, yet effective. it's like Big 10 football but with Southern accents!


Georgia is getting the also-ran treatment from most everyone...which is to be expected when you lose the talent they did. still The Dawgs have probably one of the 2 best offensive lines in the SEC, some talent at tailback, a superstar wide receiver, and a senior QB with some experience. this looks a lot like that 2005 Georgia team that came out of nowhere to win the SEC. now Georgia's schedule is fucking brutal with a murderous 3 game start that could easily have UGA at 1-2 or even 0-3, and then they've got trips to LSU, Jacksonville, and don't forget those rivalry games against Auburn (who will be looking to end UGA's 3 game winning streak) and Georgia Tech (who'll be looking to get a streak going of their own). this Georgia team could end up being 11-2 or 7-5...its anybody's guess.


the most obvious Darkhorse this season has gotta be Arkansas. after looking like a trainwreck at the beginning of the year the Hawgs suddenly turned into a competent team thanks to runningback Michael Smith. Arkansas had upsets over Auburn and LSU and just missed out on a bowl game. now with former Michigan QB Ryan Mallett as the QB, coach Bobby "Pussyface" Petrino has a talented signal caller to lead his very productive offense. i see Arkansas knocking off UGA and then upsetting one of the top 3 teams in the West of Ole Miss, Alabama, or LSU and finishing up with an 8-4 or 9-3 record and a trip to the Peach or Cotton Bowl and a 3rd place finish in the West and a top 25 ranking.

South Carolina, Vanderbilt (can you imagine Vandy making 2 straight bowls?!), Tennessee, and Auburn all should be able to put together enough wins to make it to Bowl games...but i don't see any of them realistically challenging of the SEC. Kentucky will probably scare a few teams but i think their recent bowl streak comes to an end and if Mississippi State wins more than 1 game this year in the league then i will be shocked.

Standing Predictions

EAST

Florida
Georgia
South Carolina
Tennessee
Vanderbilt
Kentucky

WEST

LSU
Alabama
Arkansas
Ole Miss
Auburn
Mississippi State

Champ: Florida

DO NOT TAKE THIS SHIT TO THE BANK AS I NEVER KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT!

2009 Falcons Schedule is a fucking Monster

so following the Atlanta Falcons 2007 season of misery was last year's season of miracles. we've finally got a franchise QB (who doesn't appear to be an idiot) and a solid general manager and head coach in place and things are looking up for the Falcons and with a little bit of help on defense and a strong draft, i was actually starting to believe Atlanta might even be looking at a run to the Super Bowl next year...and then i saw their schedule for next season. they play the entire NFC and AFC east which is loaded with playoff caliber teams (not to mention the NFC South is already one of the 3 toughest divisions in football), they play 2 NFC teams that should all be improved (49ers & Bears), and they have a stretch of games from late October through the month of November that could very well kill any chances at Atlanta's playoff hopes. so let's do that really dumb thing that people like to do and try and figure out how Atlanta favors in these matchups.

Week 1: Sunday, Sept. 13 MIAMI DOLPHINS 1:00 p.m.

the Dolphins, much like Atlanta, came out of nowhere last season and were a playoff team lead by a good defense and one of the leagues best running games. offensively Atlanta holds an edge and the game is @ The Dome. i think Atlanta gets a win here.
1-0

Week 2: Sunday, Sept. 20 CAROLINA PANTHERS 1:00 p.m.

a game against the best team in the NFC South, the Falcons usually play the Panthers pretty good at home so i'll give them another win here.
2-0

Week 3: Sunday, Sept. 27 at New England Patriots 1:00 p.m.

ughhhh. at New England with Tom Brady back and 2 games under his belt, 2 games to shake off the cobwebs, 2 games to get back into a rhythm with Moss and Welker. LOSS.
2-1

Week 4: BYE WEEK

Week 5: Sunday, Oct. 11 at San Francisco 49ers 4:05 p.m.

the 49ers should be one of the more improved teams in the NFL this season (or at least that's what all the pre-season mags are gonna hype them as). this could be a statement game for the Niners against their old-school NFC West rival...luckily San Fran still doesn't have a QB. i'm thinking close win by the Falcons.
3-1

Week 6: Sunday, Oct. 18 CHICAGO BEARS 8:20 p.m.

The Bears have Cutler now and will be looking to avenge the miracle win the Falcons pulled off last year. plus it's a Monday night game. Atlanta isn't really known for stepping up to the plate during big games. LOSS.
3-2

Week 7: Sunday, Oct. 25 at Dallas Cowboys 4:15 p.m.

the beginning of Atlanta's brutal stretch of games. it's at Dallas which is trouble. unless The Falcons defense is greatly improved i am gonna call this one a loss.
3-3

Week 8: Monday, Nov. 2 at New Orleans Saints 8:30 p.m. ESPN

at the Saints for a rivalry game. LOSS.
3-4

Week 9: Sunday, Nov. 8 WASHINGTON REDSKINS 1:00 p.m.

The Redskins should be improved this season and will look to try and make a playoff push. this is Atlanta's only home game during November so they have to get a win or they are fucked. i'm calling a close victory.
4-4

Week 10: Sunday, Nov. 15 at Carolina Panthers 1:00 p.m.

the Panthers will probably be in 1st place and looking to separate themselves from Atlanta. LOSS.
4-5

Week 11: Sunday, Nov. 22 at N.Y. Giants 1:00 p.m.

on the Road vs one of the top 5 teams in the NFL. LOSS.
4-6

Week 12: Sunday, Nov. 29 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 1:00 p.m.

The Bucs are gonna suck this year, that being said they always fucking give Atlanta trouble, but i think the Falcons can take em. WIN.
5-6

Week 13: Sunday, Dec. 6 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 1:00 p.m.

at home vs a team that ALWAYS beats Atlanta. LOSS.
5-7

Week 14: Sunday, Dec. 13 NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 1:00 p.m.

at home vs. the rival Saints...both teams will be fighting for a playoff spot but i think Atlanta takes them at home.
6-7

Week 15: Sunday, Dec. 20 at N.Y. Jets 1:00 p.m.

@ The Jets...fucking hell, 2 trips to New York?! that blows. wait who is New York's QB? fuck the Jets, Atlanta gets a win.
7-7

Week 16: Sunday, Dec. 27 BUFFALO BILLS 1:00 p.m.

T.O. comes to town and wrecks to Falcons playoff hopes. LOSS.
7-8

Week 17: Sunday, Jan. 3 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1:00 p.m.

the Falcons will have to actually win a divisional game on the road to get to .500 for the year...luckily Tampa Bay will probably be one of the worst teams in the NFL next year and so the Falcons get a win to get to 8-8 on the year.
8-8

No Playoffs for Atlanta, No consecutive winning seasons for the 1st time ever. thanks a lot NFL.

A Totally Negative Post about the state of Auburn football

Fact: we have no QB...if we did then there wouldn't be a battle going on this spring

Fact: we have no WRs...it's very likely that two true freshman could be the key playmakers at the position next season.

Fact: our best offensive weapon is being moved to H back even though he's more talented than the other runningbacks on the team

Fact: our defense lacks depth and is a few key injuries away from serious trouble

The season is gonna be rough, all this early optimism is gonna be replaced with the angst and doubt we all got when Chizik was hired...this is reality, no matter how negative it sounds. If Auburn gets a win against LSU, UGA, or Bama then that angst will be replaced by hope. Until then I've got what Hunter S. Thompson called "the Fear". That doesn't mean I don't believe but I mean I did name my blog A Lifetime Of Defeats and my blogger name is JR Suicide...it ain't like positivity is my strongest quality...but I still believe. I am just being cautious and not getting caught up in pre-season hyperbole. At least not until I go to the Spring game next week and get tricked by Spread Eagle 2. Then I'll be drinking poisoned Kool Aid and shooting rainbows out my ass.

It should be noted that I wrote lots of angry and hateful posts last year about the Atlanta Falcons offseason moves and the drafting of Matt Ryan (whom I labeled Fucknuts McWhitey) and that turned out totally wrong, so I am hoping the more negative things I say about Auburn the better they will turn out to be just to spite my internet drivel. A blogger can dream, right?

Isn't It A Little Early For This?

there isn't much to do right now while we all sit around and wait for the machines to turn against us

nope all there seems to do right now is speculate about crap...like College Football!

so Rivals.com already has their Pre-Spring Top 25 for next year's college football season. surprise! the Gators are number 1. and although i hate any kind of preseason Top 25 before recruiting is finished and teams have started Spring practice, i already have some major issues with their Top 25. i mean Va Tech & Oklahoma State in the top 10? ehhh...i guess picking the Hokies to win the ACC is no real stretch. if i was gonna trot out my own pointless WAY TO FUCKING EARLY TO EVEN BE REALISTIC ABOUT THIS TOP 25 it would probably look something like this....

A Lifetime Of Defeats WAY TOO FUCKING EARLY PRESEASON TOP 25 THAT WILL LOOK NOTHING LIKE THIS IS 6 MONTHS AND THIS IS JUST A WASTE OF VALUABLE INTERNET SPACE...BUT HEY I GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
1. Florida (way too easy)
2. Texas (most logical pick)
3. USC (too many Blue Chips all over the place)
4. Ohio State (fool me four times shame on the Universe)
5. Oklahoma (replace most of the offensive line and receivers)
6. LSU (too much talent to not be back in the hunt, for LSU's sake they better hope Jordan Jefferson doesn't like gambling with counterfeit money)
7. Florida State (this time they are back...for real)
8. Oregon (the best rushing team in the Pac 10 will challenge USC next year)
9. Ole Miss (is the SEC ready to get Nutted upon? everyone's gonna be high on the Rebels next season...so that means they are probably gonna go 5-7)
10. Alabama
11. Georgia Tech
12. Boise State
13. North Carolina (the Tar Heels were a year early on their rebuilding job...next season they'll have more talent in place and be ready to contend for the ACC)
14. Oklahoma State (somebody has to be 3rd best in the Big 12)
15. Georgia (even without Knowshon and Stafford there's just too much talent)
16. Virginia Tech (always getting disrespected...so yeah they'll win the ACC again)
17. TCU
18. Penn State
19. Nebraska
20. California
21. Oregon State
22. Miami
23. BYU
24. Cincinnati
25. Kansas

Another Useless Poll For Your Ass

i've given my original preseason Top 25 some second thought, and decided it was total crap. especially with the season getting closer and closer. so let's give it another try, for the kids.

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS PRESEASON TOP 25 (Redux)
1. USC
2. Florida
3. Georgia
4. Oklahoma
5. Ohio State
6. West Virginia
7. Missouri
8. Auburn
9. LSU
10. Clemson
11. South Florida
12. Texas
13. Tennessee
14. Texas Tech
15. Wisconsin
16. Virginia Tech
17. Arizona State
18. BYU
19. Oregon
20. Kansas
21. Utah
22. Wake Forest
23. Fresno State
24. Penn State
25. Alabama

6 SEC Teams in my top 25, with South Carolina and Ole' Miss very much on my radar as teams who might sneak into the rankings at some point in the season.

i don't really believe in Kanas. i think they are in for a reality check this year after going 12-1 last season.

the ACC and Big 10 suck balls. that's why they each only get 3 teams in my useless poll. i do expect for a surprise team to come out of ACC this year though, either with FSU or Miami finally pulling their heads out of their asses or North Carolina taking advantage of a weak schedule and a lot of young talent. on the flipside, noone in the Big 10 will be a surprise. i hope Illinois enjoyed that trip to the Rose Bowl last year, cuz it's back to life and back to reality in 2008.

There Can Only Be One

so last year was quiet possibly the most bizzare one in college football history, it was at least the most strange since 1990 when Georgia Tech and Colorado split the polls. one would assume that 2008 will be a return to rationality and the powers that be using the system to crown a less controversial championship. oh, how easy would it be to just take the winners of the Florida/Georgia and Ohio State/USC matchups and have them face one another in Miami? too damn easy...aka that's not gonna happen. nope, the evil football gremlins who are giving USC jock itch and filling Georgia players full of booze so that they act a fool and get arrested will more than likely be at it again this season.

so let's break down how each AP Pre-season top 10 team is likely to fuck up their chances of winning the 2008 National Title.

1. Georgia

Oh Georgia. you happy bastards. sitting pretty like a drunk sorority girl on top of both the AP and Coaches poll. Knowshon is on the cover of ESPN magazine. Sports Illustrated picked you to win it all (never a good thing, btw). but things have been going iffy for the Dawgs. first Uga died, then a collection of your players found themselves with mugshots thanks to a case of the Drankin' and Fightin' and Vandalizin'. then your star left tackle's knee decided to try and make your offensive line situation more interesting. and so your reign on top appears to be shorter than leprechauns..especially with a Sept 17th match up of the teams residing at number 2 and 3 coming up soon enough. then there's that notoriously tough schedule you've got that includes 3 top 10 teams (LSU, Florida, Auburn). all of them away from home and then don't forget about that trip out west to visit Arizona State...which i fully expect Georgia to win easily, but never underestimate a long road trip to start the year. weird shit happens out in the desert. you start seeing things. mirages of national titles you thought you were gonna win and then the Sun Devils hand you an over time loss and you're fucked forever. also don't go forgettin' about those Push-Pop Orange wearing sons of bitches from Tennessee who know a thing or two about kicking Georgia's ass. yeah it's a pretty rough ride for those Dawgs. i don't know if they've got enough Soulja Boys and Black Outs in 'em to navigate through that gauntlet. better luck next year.

2. Ohio St.

Hi, you're Ohio State. you've appeared in 3 BCS title games this decade. one of them you got lucky and beat a way better Miami team with help from your soon to be jailbound freshman runningback. the next 2 times you dropped some series shit in your pants against a couple of SEC teams with chips on their shoulders. the whole of the college football universe hates your guts and thinks you're the product of media bias and a soft conference. congratulations though, you've decided to step out of your box and play another big boy by the name of USC to start your year. unfortunately said school likes nothing more than feasting on the living bodies of out of conference BSC foes to boost their profile and power rankings at the start of every year. having your bodies grinded up and the bones spit out for all the see on national television will likely leave a sour taste in the mouth of most voters. and just like nobody wants to see a sequel to the Cold War with Russia (Cold War II: Nuclear Boogaloo), we'd all rather not see your ass getting drug up and down the field in another damn title game. have fun dominating your lousy conference and going to the Rose Bowl. it's all you silly Big 10ers seem to care about anyways.

3. Southern Cal

Southern California. The Men Of Troy. Win Forever. The Dominate Force of the 21st Century in the world of College Football. you've got more blue chip recruits than the rest of the Pac 10 teams combined...and yet every year lately you seem to lose inexplicable games to the likes of Oregon State, UCLA, and Stanford that leave you sitting at home watching the BCS title instead of taking back what is rightfully yours. this year you've got a high profile gig with those silly Buckeyes. aren't they cute when they try and matchup with someone not in the Big 10 and MAC? you'll have your way with their women and children, but who is lurking for you in the jungle? Charlie is out there in the shit man! he never sleeps! he drinks viper piss and asks for more! and he's waiting for you to stroll in all lazy eyed and ready for an upset. could be those no luck having Huskies up in Washington. nobody ever suspects them or what about that damn Arizona team? they always pull an unbelievable upset out of their asses that keeps their head coach around another year too long. that's the problem with Charlie, man. you never know when that sneaky little fucker is gonna strike.

4. Oklahoma

on paper Oklahoma appears to be one of the best teams in the entire country. mammoth offensive line anchored by a surefire 1st round left tackle: check. game breaking running back: check. a solid young QB: check. a talented defense full of soon to be NFLers: check. you own your chief rival Texas in the way that Florida has owned Georgia the past 2 decades. and yet who could trust you in a BCS game. your failures are the stuff of legend. if the Buckeyes actually can make it to the BCS title game again, i'm sure they'll be praying that they will run into you.

5. Florida

so you're the Florida Gators. you've got one of best offenses in all the land. you're quarterbacked by the reigning Heisman trophy winner, Tim Tebow (the young Superman. the baby rhino. the human battery ram. jesus is my quarterback). and yet your defense is prone to bursting into flames against teams at any time. can you outscore every opponent you play 50-45? is Tebow gonna carry the ball 8 billion and 1 times again? luckily you don't have to play Auburn this year and you get LSU at home. but with a secondary like that i'd put your chances against a team with even the the most simple of passing attacks as shaky at best.

6. Missouri

Missouri is like the new kid who moves into town during the middle of the school year. everyone's really nice to you at first and invites you over to spend the night but you never let anyone ever see your house and your clothes are all hand me downs. i heard your older brother was in jail for selling meth, maybe it's just a rumor but everyone believes it. then you move away during the summer and noone ever thinks about you again. maybe your dad is in the army. sucks for you. you were the feel good story of 2007. you've got a good QB, a play making receiver, and an NFL caliber tight end. but i think much of your 07 season was the product of an easy schedule and noone expecting you to be any good. sure i think you could pull another 10 wins out of your ass with the offense you've got. but would anyone really be surprised if you guys only won 8 games and fell off the fucking map and back into irrelevance? not me.

7. LSU
You are LSU, the defending National champions. your coach is a jackass who makes the most boneheaded calls in close games that i have ever seen...and yet you seem to win them and get to the national title despite all that. big daddy Saban left you stocked with talent...but a lot of those guys are gone to NFL. sure you're still loaded with shit tons of 4 and 5 stars players, but you're would be superstar QB went and got himself kicked off the team after his 53rd strike and so now you're being quarterbacked by a former member of the Harvard JV team (i didn't even know college football schools had JV teams?!!). i would announce you good and fucked just for that alone. not to mention you've trips to Auburn (a place you aren't too found of winning at) and Floria. i smell Chick-fil-A and a trip to the ATL for you this season.

8. West Virginia

West Fucking Virginia. the most exciting offense in the country. speed is everywhere on this team. your leader is my favorite non-Auburn player in college football, Pat White. you blew the doors off Oklahoma after your dickhead coach skipped town for winged helmets and softer competition. there's no school outside of my Auburn Tigers that i'd root for more to win a National Title this season. unfortunately you play in the Big East, and now that Louisville has fallen off the map you're the only big dog left standing. sure South Florida is a contender, but have you seen those fucking uniforms? they make Oregon look respectable. West Virginia's season is basically two games long. beat Auburn and beat South Florida and you are more than likely gonna be undefeated...unfortunately that's no guarntee that you'll even play for the BCS title. the machines will turn against you and place a 1 loss SEC champ or a 1 loss Ohio State or USC ahead of you any day of the week. it's just the sad facts of the college football world. you had your shot to be champs last year and you fucking blew it. next year Pat White will be gone and so will your time as one of the "it" teams of college football. it was fun while it lasted.

9. Clemson

Clemson in the top 10? hmmm...well they do have 2 awesome runningbacks, a solid QB, some play making receivers, and a shit ton of talent on their defense. and yet they are coached by Tommy Bowden. and so they will lose at least 4 games a season from now and until the end of his terrible reign.

10. Auburn

Auburn's ranked in the top 10. SWEET! Auburn has a loaded defense, most of their tough games at home, and a new spread offense that's should equal more scoring for a team who doesn't give up many points. Auburn is the favorite among most preseason experts to win the SEC west and is a dark horse national title contender. AWESOME! one question: what does Auburn do a really poor fucking job of? living up to expectations. have fun in the Outback Bowl guys.

Get To Know A Freshman: Philip Pierre Louis

Philip Pierre Louis is a 5 foot nuthin' receiver that is joining my Auburn Tigers this season and the coaches are freaking out about his play making ability. after i watched this high school highlight video on youtube i think i might be freaking out a little too.

the cut he makes on the 3rd highlight is pretty sick. Bama may have Julio Jones, but we've got Mighty Mouse. Little dude is shifty and a burner. 4.25 forty. damn! i'm sure he'll see some action on punt or kick returns and probably a reverse or two.

AP Pre-Season Top 25

so Georgia lands on top of both polls. the winner of the USC and Ohio State game is gonna leap frog Georgia, so the Dawgs should enjoy that ranking while they can. i'll say this, living in Athens you can feel the people's excitement around here. football season might actually save the local economy this year. my Auburn Tigers find themselves in the top 10, but 4th among the SEC Teams (there are six SEC teams in all in the top 25). basically the top 15 teams are almost exactly the same as the coaches poll. Bama got some love from the sports writers, which i was a little surprised about. Kansas and Illinois are both gonna be after thoughts at the end of the year. Texas Tech is going to shown to be overrated like they always are at the beginning of the year. South Florida is a little low in this poll. Clemson is too high, i don't care if they are talented...they're still always the most disappointing team in college football.

AP PRESEASON TOP 25
1. Georgia (22)
2. Ohio St. (21)
3. Southern Cal (12)
4. Oklahoma (4)
5. Florida (6)
6. Missouri
7. LSU
8. West Virginia
9. Clemson
10. Auburn
11. Texas
12. Texas Tech
13. Wisconsin
14. Kansas
15. Arizona St.
16. BYU
17. Virginia Tech
18. Tennessee
19. South Florida
20. Illinois
21. Oregon
22. Penn St.
23. Wake Forest
24. Alabama
25. Pittsburgh

Previewing Auburn's 2008 Season (The Schedule)

this is part 3 in my ongoing saga of a realistic preview at the upcoming 2008 Auburn Football season.

The Tigers are coming off a year where they went 9-4 and won the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl. they are replacing their offensive and defensive coordinators, their starting QB of the past 3 seasons, and are going from a classic power running team to a new Spread offense. expectations, as always, are high among the fans and Auburn sees itself as the favorite to win the SEC West and hopefully get into a BCS game.

here's a look at the Tigers 2008 Schedule and my predictions for each game.

game 1. Aug 30th vs Louisiana Monroe.

UL-Monroe is the school that upset Alabama last year. they've got zero NFL prospects on their roster that i am aware of and were a fairly mediocre Sun-Belt team. i fully expect the Tigers to come out guns blazing in week 1 and try and beat them by at least 30, if only to make Bama's loss last year seem all the more humiliating. this is a great first game of the year for the Tigers because it'll basically act as a pre-season game to get both quarterbacks some real game day experience and to tune up the new spread offense. this should be at least a 3 touchdown victory with lots of reserves seeing some action and a lot of padding the stats for the QBs and runningbacks. count this one as a win and move forward.

game 2. Sept 6th vs Southern Mississippi.

The Golden Eagles have knocked off Auburn in the past, so Auburn fans shouldn't just assume this one will be a cake walk. Southern Miss has an excellent running back in Damion Fletcher, so the Auburn D-Line will be asked to stop him and put the pressure on the QB. i expect a closer game than the experts will predict. Southern Miss will hang around and score a few but the Tigers depth and speed will help them pull away by the 4th quarter. i predict a 13 point victory.

game 3. Sept 13th @ Mississippi State.

Auburn's most embarrassing loss of the season came last year against Mississippi State. turnovers cost the Tigers that game so i look for Auburn to try and control the ball and i expect a lot of running, as they were able to move the ball pretty well on the ground last year against the Bulldogs. again this game is probably closer than it should be, especially since it's in Starkganistan...but Auburn's defense and running game should help them put this one away late. i predict a 10 point victory.

game 4. Sept 20th vs LSU.

forget UGA and Bama, this is THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF THE SEASON. the winner of this game is likely to end up winning the West. for the past eight seasons victory has gone to the home team....that means it's Auburn's turn (hopefully). both LSU and Auburn have similar situations. really talented defenses, strong running games, good offensive lines, and in experienced QBs. LSU however may be starting a transfer from Harvard. I'll take Chris Todd or Kodi Burns over the Ivy League any day. this game should be close as hell with some insane play that makes me wanna shoot myself in the head. Auburn squeaks past LSU with a 3 point win and controls their destiny in the West.

game 5. Sept 27th vs Tennessee.

Auburn hasn't played the Vols since 2004, aka last time Auburn won the SEC title. that season Auburn beat them twice. this year the Tigers are likely to be ranked in the top 10 and favored to beat the Vols...unfortunately this is the week after the LSU game, and that always seems to result in some bizarre shit happening. Tennessee has a great running game and a solid defense and a QB (Jonathan Crompton) who could blossom into a star. i look for Tennessee to take advantage of a tired and possibly hurt Auburn team and hand Auburn their first loss of the season in a heartbreaker 24-20.

game 6. Oct 4th @ Vanderbilt.

following a loss at home to the Vols i fully expect an angry Auburn team to take it out on the poor Commodores. this one is gonna be ugly, like scoring 50 points and Auburn knocking one of Vandy's QBs out of the game ugly.

game 7. Oct 11th vs. Arkansas.

i'm usually scared of the Hawgs because no matter how much better a team the Tigers have, Arkansas almost always manages to play them close and pull off the occassional upset or two. this year i don't really see that happening. the Razorbacks have no big time playmakers with Darren McFadden and Felix Jones gone and their defense isn't really anything to speak of either. this game could be as ugly as the Vandy one...especially with the history between Bobby Petrino and Coach Tuberville. Tommy isn't really known for running up the score, but if the Tigers are able to jump out to a big lead against the Hawgs then i don't expect CTT to call off the dogs at all. this one should be a 20 point win at the very least.

game 8. October 23rd @ West Virginia.

Thursday Night. ESPN. Big East vs. SEC. likely a matchup between two teams in the top 10. possibly this game could have national title implications...especially for West Fucking Virginia who needs a win against a marquee team to legitimize their BCS title chances in case they find themselves in a log jam at the top of the BCS rankings at season's end. West Virginia has everything to lose in this game. Auburn however is going to be more concerned with SEC teams. a loss to West Virginia would likely knock Auburn out of the national title picture, but will have no effect on their quest for an SEC crown. this is gonna be a cold night game in the mountains. the perfect scenario for WV to knock off Auburn. but don't believe the hype. Auburn has had success against teams that run the spread...granted Pat White is a lot more fleet of foot than Tim Tebow but i still look for the Tigers to keep him in check. Auburn's defensive coordinator, Paul Rhodes came to Auburn from Pitt where he was able to stop the high powered West Virginia offense last year with a lot less talent than he'll have at his disposal this year. i look for Auburn to pull out a close, low scoring win in the cold mountain night. something of the 20-14 variety. West Virginia will be out of the national title picture and Auburn will jump up to possibly a top 5 ranking. but at the same time i could easily see West Virginia pulling off the win. this is the biggest question mark of the year for me.

game 9. Nov. 1st @ Ole' Miss.

this is by far the biggest trap game on the schedule for Auburn. i fully expect Ole' Miss to be the most improved team in the SEC under new head coach Houston Nutt. the Rebels will be hungry for a major upset and don't be surprised if they give Auburn everything they can handle. my gut tells me this one is gonna go down to the wire with Auburn possibly having to win it in overtime or maybe kick a late field goal in the 4th quarter to put Ole' Miss away.

game 10. Nov 8th vs Tennesse Martin.

it's homecoming for Auburn after a series of tough road games. everyone loves cupcakes. especially the Division IAA variety who've only had 3 winning seasons in the last 20 years. this one is gonna be over quick. expect something in the realm of of 67-3 with every one on the team getting the chance to play.

game 11. Nov 15th vs. Georgia.

right behind LSU, this is the most important game of the year for a variety of reasons. first of all Auburn is riding a two game losing streak against the Dawgs and they were the soul crushing blow out type of losses that deflate your season and leave you crying yourself to sleep at night into your pillow. after last year's Black Out debacle the Tigers will be looking to get some revenge. UGA will be favored in this one...and that might be a good thing as Auburn was favored in the last 2 matchups and only managed to get their asses handed to them. hopefully with interception machine Brandon Cox being gone the Tigers will finally have a chance. look for the Tigers to try and shut down Knowshon Moreno and make Matt Stafford beat them with his arm. this game should be a war. both teams could be in the top 5 and the winner of this game will probably be on it's way to the SEC title game and a BCS birth, the loser might end up in the Capital One bowl. i can't in my heart believe Auburn will lose 3 years in a row to the fucking Bulldogs, but Georgia is fucking loaded. i can't predict this game. too much is still a mystery. if you forced me to pick right now i'd probably go with the Dogs. just because i see 2 losses this season for my Tigers. Auburn is either losing this game or they are losing to West Virginia, but i wouldn't pick them to lose both.

game 12. Nov 29th @ Alabama.

lucky number 7. Auburn will be looking to tie up the SEC West by knocking off the Tide for a 7th year in a row. The Tide will be looking to end the blood letting and also looking to move into a better bowl position after an up and down year. as always rankings and records mean nothing in a rivalry game, Auburn still has enough of a talent advantage over Bama to keep the win streak alive, but i won't be shocked if the Tide finally ends the bleeding this season...especially if it would result in Auburn being knocked out of the SEC title game and the national championship picture. i predict a 24-14 win for Auburn over an Alabama team who will have a very young and not very deep defense this fall. i believe Bama is still a year away from being a serious contender in the West.

so is summation i think the Tigers are at the very very best 11-1 at the end of the regular season and will be facing Florida in the SEC title game. more realistically i'm thinking they'll be 10-2 but still SEC West champs and will face either Florida or Georgia in Atlanta. the worst case scenario for me would be 8-4 with losses to LSU, UGA, Tennessee, and West Virginia...but given Auburn's success against top 10 teams i just don't believe that will happen. this is Auburn's best chance to win an SEC title in the last few years. the schedule is tough, but most of the biggest games are at home. even if everything goes according to plan and the Tigers are 11-1 or 10-2, they'll still more than likely have to face Georgia again or Florida. if they are up against the Gators i don't know if i see Auburn beating Florida three years in a row. likely they'd lose a close SEC title game and end up in the Sugar Bowl while Florida went on to face either USC or Ohio State for the national title. i'd still consider that a successful season, especially given the amount of change that the team will have gone through in the off season. anyway i'm tired of predictions and speculation. August 30th can't get here soon enough. War Eagle!

Previewing Auburn's 2008 Season (Defense and Special Teams)

Football season. it's almost here. you can smell it? oh wait, no that's just regular vomit from the Athens townies. student puke is still a few weeks away. but regardless the anticipation for August 30th has built to the point where i can't even stand talking about it anymore. just let me see some football. and not any of this NFL preseason nonsense. i want some real college football. every game counts. Saturdays in the south. SEC speed. rivalry. pageantry. and of course the crushing of my hopes. i've already highlighted Auburn's three biggest rivals and each of their prospects for the 2008 season, and now it's time to tackle my Tigers. and give a recycled (it's all about being green. so no new content. The Earth is First!) version of their chances for this upcoming season in the least biased way possible.

DEFENSE

Defensive Line- The Defensive front has been the focal point of the Auburn defense during the past several seasons with big play makers such as Stanley McClover and Quentin Groves causing havoc for opposing QBs. and 2008 looks to be no different. the defensive ends this year should carry on the tradition of being sack happy monsters and the big boys in the middle should be able to stuff the run (unless they're playing Georgia in a fucking Black Out Game...GODDAMNIT!!!). pre-season All American Sen'Derrick Marks leads the line as the playmaker in the middle. Auburn fans are hoping he has the type of year that Glenn Dorsey had last season for LSU, minus the knee injury (sorry 'bout that). joining Marks in the middle will be Jake Ricks, Mike Blanc, and Zach Clayton, none have been a starter...but all show strong potential. on the ends we have Antonio Coleman (pre-season All SEC) who led the team with 8.5 sacks last year as a part time starter. on the other side Michael Goggans (a converted tight end) looks to have a breakout year. Sophomore Antoine Carter and JC transfer Raven Gray (a five star recruit!!) also will likely be in the defensive end rotation and getting plenty of playing time. redshirt freshman AJ Green and true freshman Cameron Henderson (4 star recruit) may see some action as well. it's by far one of...if not THE, deepest positions of strength for Auburn. i don't expect any drop off from last season.

fantasy scenario: the Tigers front four destroys opponents and don't allow a single rushing touchdown all season. Auburn's leads the SEC in sacks and hold every running back they face to less than 100 yards. Marks and Coleman both land on several All American teams. Goggans proves to be another in the line of devastating pass rushers and opposing coordinators see nightmares of Navy and Burnt Orange linemen tearing their QBs into pieces.

realistic scenario: the defensive line pretty much holds serve with those that have come before it, getting lots of sacks and plays in the backfield and keeping the Auburn defense as one of the top 10 in the nation.

Linebackers- like the line, the linebackers are deep and very talented as well. former five star recruit, Tray Blackmon is entering his third season with the Tigers. the hopes are that he can get past the injuries and off the field problems that have held him back from being a dominate force. i (and the entire Tiger nation) think this is gonna be his breakout season. backing him up in the middle is another highly thought of recruit named Josh Bynes. Seniors Merril Johnson, Courtney Harden, and Chris Evans will all spend time in the linebacker rotation. each of them has been a starter in the past and have played on the outside and in the middle. Sophomore Craig Stevens (4 star recruit) will find himself as the other starting linebacker. don't be surprised to see freshmen Spencer Pybus, Adam Herring, and De'Shaun Barnes getting some playing time as well. promising linebacker Bo Harris decided to transfer, but there's enought depth at the position that it shouldn't matter.

fantasy scenario: no one can run past the Tigers front line, but the lucky few who do escape the big boys will be getting blown up by a very fast and angry linebacking corp. Tray Blackmon finally shows the nation why he was the number 1 linebacker recruit in the nation and has an All American campaign and then decides to come back for one more year at Auburn.

realistic scenario: as long as the linebackers can stay away from the injury bug that seemed to hit them all last year, then the depth and speed of this position should cause nightmares for running backs in the SEC. i expect this to be the best group the Tigers have in a while.

Defensive Backs- if there was a weakness on this defense it would be the lack of depth in the defensive backs. Jerraud Powers is unquestionably the best player of the group. he's a solid All-SEC player and a likely 2nd round pick. he made big plays and will be looked at as the leader in this group. sophomores Michael McNeil and Zac Etheridge are the starting safeties. both players have a lot of potential and started games last season. McNeil has the biggest upside of the two. Aarion Savage was set to be the other starting cornerback before blowing his knee out. Walter McFadden will be asked to fill that void, he could end up being the week link in what looked like a solid starting 4. redshirt freshman Michael Slade will be asked to back up both safeties and true freshmen D'Antoine Hood and Harry Adams are both expected to see time at corner. freshman QB, DeRon Furr was expected to contribute at safety but left the team after getting jumped at practice by some of the other defensive backs.

fantasy scenario: no one else gets injured and the supposed weakness of the defensive backfield becomes a strength. Powers is an All SEC performer and a Jim Thorpe finalist. the freshmen step into the void left by Savage and become impact players. McNeil and Etheridge wreak havoc on anyone who dares to go over the middle.

realistic scenario: the DBs are a bit of a weak link and teams who can sling it will try and exploit the young safeties and throw away at McFadden in an effort to avoid Powers. the DBs will end up costing the Tigers a loss at some point in the season.

SPECIAL TEAMS

Kickers- Wes Byrum had 2 game winning field goals against Florida and Arkansas and was mostly accurate as a true freshman. punter Ryan Shoemaker is first team All SEC.

fantasy/realistic scenario: i don't really have any real fantasies about kickers. Byrum already has shown he's money in the big moments. and Shoemaker is an ALL-SEC punter. fuck it! we're Golden!

kick & punt returners- Brad Lester, Tristan Davis, Robert Dunn, Mario Fannin, and Chris Slaughter will all probably do some punt and kick returns. Davis is speedster who led the SEC in return average a few seasons ago. Fannin is a playmaker for sure and we'd all like to see him do damage on punt returns.

fantasy scenario: Tristan Davis returns back to his 2006 form on kick returns and Mario Fannin has Auburn fans with visions of Reggie Bush with his combination of receiving, rushing, and punt returns.

realistic scenario: the returns make some plays, but are nothing special and no real game breaker emerges.

In Summation: The Defense is the kind that can win you a championship. the special teams is consistent and reliable. There aren't a lot of questions in the fans' minds. we know our Tigers will be a dominate force on defense, even if we are bringing in a new coordinator. there's some star power with Marks, Coleman, Powers, and Blackmon. as long as Auburn can remember how to tackle when they play the Bulldogs and not give up big passing plays like they did to Georgia and LSU then i expect we'll be winning a lot of games. also let's hope Paul Rhodes can do with Auburn's D what he did last season with Pitt when the Tigers travel to West Virginia in October.