What Happened One Night In America Is All You Ever Need To Know About Atlanta Sports

Where once there was a feeling of optimism and hope, now there is only despair. 30+ years or rooting for Atlanta sports teams has taught me one thing more than any, how it feels to fucking lose.

The Braves suffer yet another heartbreaking defeat in the post season and are now 18 years removed from winning a World Series. The 2013 squad were a team that renewed my interest and love in the Atlanta Braves. They are young, full of potential, had the most dominating bullpen in baseball, hit a shit load of homeruns, and were fun to watch most of the year....but like so many Braves teams that came before them all of the things they did well during the year vanished when it came crunch time. that Atlanta was able to hit 1 meaningless homerun against the the Dodgers after leading the NL in 4 baggers for the year is exactly what you would have expected to happen. having one of your most reliable relief pitchers give up what would be the game winning homerun just 6 outs away from pulling off an upset in LA and sending the series back to Atlanta with all the momentum in the Braves favor is exactly what you should have expected to happen. going home early again is exactly what you should have expected.

The Falcons have gone from a Super Bowl contender to a fucking disaster that will be lucky to win 6 games. Those 10 yards shy of winning the NFC seem 100s of yards away now. a trash heap offensive line, a useless defense, and some of the most boneheaded coaching moves you will ever see has sunk the 2013 season just 5 games in. there are so many negative things i could say about this Falcons team, but i am not gonna waste the blogspot space. the Falcons need major changes if they want to ever win a championship. in the NFL you have the shortest of windows and Atlanta's in closing fast.

2 franchises linked in geography and their ability to mutually let down their fanbase on a yearly basis. Let the yankees burn Atlanta to the ground again and let's just start all over.

Falcons still the Falcons

Just when I was feeling all high on my Auburn Tigers BCS title, I can always count on the Atlanta Falcons to bring me back to Earth.

That was fucking depressing.

the 2nd Season Begins. Can the Falcons actually get to the Super Bowl?

After finishing up one of their best regular seasons in team history the Falcons find themselves as the #1 seed in the NFC. That means no trips to Greenbay, Philly, New Orleans, or Chicago. It's home field advantage...something Atlanta desperately needed to have any chance to get to Dallas. They seemed nearly unbeatable at home (despite several close wins) until the Saints crushed that feeling of invincibility in the Dome. Fucking Saints. Regardless Atlanta was great at home and beat several quality teams and so there's no reason not to believe they've got a shot at an NFC championship this year.

Of the 6 NFC teams that made the playoffs 5 of them seem capable of being the NFC champs. The Saints are defending champs and get an easy 1st rounder vs. The Seahawks, at this point they look like the Falcons most likely opponent in the 2nd round. Both the Packers and Eagles are beat up some, but both are scary. I'll be rooting for Greenbay just because I like Atlanta's chances vs the Packers better than the Saints...and I really really don't want to have to facethe Eagles in the title game. Chicago is the least scary number 2 seed I can ever remember, but their defense is the kind that could easily win the game for them vs. Atlanta...still I'll be rooting for the Bears because I think Atlanta is more talented than Chicago. The Eagles and Saints really seem like Atlanta's biggest threat, so I'll be rooting for upsets next weekend...but I'm not holding my breath on Seattle.

Fuck The Saints. I Hope Your City Floods Again.

take that statement as a joke. i would never actually wish death and destruction on a city, even one as shitty as New Orleans. aka the most overrated city in america. what you can't get drunk in your own town?

anyways the loss last night was sort of a sickening one. Mike Smith made poor choices and left me feeling like there is no way that guy can win a Super Bowl. Michael Turner ran like shit and makes me wonder if the Falcons should dump him in the offseason and find a pair of younger legs. Matt Ryan tried to do everything and got very little help from anyone not named Roddy White. the Falcons #1 draft priority needs to be a fucking WR...that was painfully obvious when Michael Jenkins is dropping passes that hit him in the arms when he's wide fucking open. the mystique of the Georgia Dome is all but gone. Atlanta should be able to wrap up homefield by beating the Panthers on Sunday (never a given no matter how shitty they look) but do you really feel as confidant that Atlanta can defend the Dome should they have to face the Packers or Saints in a few weeks? i don't.

in other words: I AM IN PANIC MODE!!!!!

the defense played well and i think are still the most underrated unit in the NFL. holding Drew Brees to 17 points should be enough, it was the offense that lost that fucking game. hopefully Atlanta can lay a nice asswhipping on Carolina and get some of their swagger back because after the game last night i don't think anyone believes the Falcons are the best team in the NFC anymore.

I also root for the Falcons, so at least i've got that going for me.

lost in my glee (which has now turned into panic and dread) about the 2010 Auburn Tigers is the fact my Atlanta Falcons are also in first place and looking like a real Super Bowl contender. with Atlanta taking care of Tampa Bay and giving themselves a little breathing room...not to mention the fact the 3 toughest games on their schedule (Ravens, Packers, Saints) are ALL at home. at 6-2, it's hard to imagine that Atlanta finishes worse then 10-6 with a wild card spot...but with games against the Rams, Seahawks, Panthers (twice) and those home games (where the Falcons have been nearly unbeatable) 12-4/ the divsion title/ and a 1st round bye is a very real chance. hell, 12-4 might just get you best record in the NFC this year...and if Atlanta wants to make it to the Super Bowl then they NEED homefield advantage. there's no way i want to see Atlanta taking a trip to New York or Philly for the NFC title game, because that sort of thing normally ends ugly for the Dirty Birds.

at the beginning of the year i thought Atlanta would win the division...but my optimism usually turns to shit once i see the Falcons play a few times. i thought losing to the Steelers in overtime (minus Rapey Cocklessburger) was a sign of bad things to come, but the Birds have been pretty solid ever since. the sluggish game vs the 49ers and the ass kicking by the Eagles aside, this team looks just as Super Bowl ready as anyone else in the NFC. they've got an elite wide receiver, a great tandem of running backs, a good/tough offensive line, a defense that can get after the QB, and Matt Ryan, although not putting up the MVP type numbers i was hoping for) is a solid quarterback.

a little bit more about Matt Ryan. my belief that he was going to be the next guy to join the elite ranks of NFL QBs had died down a good bit, i'm more of the opinion now that he's better than MOST starters in the NFL. if i'm giving him a fair ranking then i'd put him around number 10 in the league, right now. Peyton, Brady, Brees, Big Ben, and Rivers being those 5 elite guys, Rodgers, Schaub, Flacco, Sanchez, and Eli being all closer to his level...and if i'm being totally honest, i think i'd take Ryan over any of those next level guys (besides maybe Rodgers).

Perfect Weekend

Auburn Rolls

The Falcons win in comeback fashion to go to 3-1.

& the Braves sneak into the playoffs in Bobby Cox final year.

oh yeah, AND the Georgia Bulldogs fucking suck.

awesome.

as a bonus the weather is FINALLY of the light jacket wearing variety, therefor worth going outside again.

My 5 Overly High Expections for the Atlanta Falcons

1. 11-5 regular season and the NFC West crown. a 1-1 split with the Saints but beats them on Monday Night Football near the end of the year to clinch the division.

2. Matt Ryan finished with 30 TD passes and over 3,300 yards passing. establishes himself as one of the elite QBs in the league and finishes in the top 3 for MVP voting. named to Pro Bowl.

3. Michael Turner returns to 2008 form and challenges Purple Jesus and Chris Johnson for the rushing title.

4. a deep playoff run and a loss in the NFC title game to Greenbay or Dallas.

5. 3 straight winning seasons and the sky is the limit for this team. Atlanta is now one of the contenders for the 2012 Super Bowl.

i'd also be happy with 10-6 and a Wildcard, just as long as the Falcons beat a team or two in the playoffs.

so much for ATL optimism

So the Hawks are about to get bounced in the 1st round by the lousy Bucks and the Braves have been playing like total dogshit. The Falcons drafted a bunch of stiffs and will probably go 5-11. I hate being an Atlanta Sports fan.

Dear Falcons,

Draft some dudes who rule.

thanks.

your loyal friend in pain and misery,

Justin.

Quick Thoughts about The NFL Draft

For the first time in years I have paid almost zero attention to the offseason and I have a general idea of who the top prospects are but I am truly clueless as to who my Falcons are thinking about drafting next week. All I really know is that the Dirty Birds need to get someone to sack the QB and so I am guessing DE is gonna be a top need. Also linebacker is pretty thin and so with that in mind I can only assume either an LB or DE will come off the board first. Some other holes I hope they address would be finding a suitable backup for Michael Turner. I love Norwood's big play capability but I just don't think he's shown the ability to be an every down back if Turner should go down with a major injury. So if Ben Tate is sitting there in round 3 i'd like to see Atlanta pull that trigger...or really in good runningback available. Also finding some players who can actually cover people in the secondary would be nice. It seems like every year the Falcons take a cornerback or two and none of them stick. Finally i'd be very happy if Atlanta took a wide receiver somewhere in the middle rounds to start grooming a replacement for Michael Jenkins. Anyways those are my thoughts. I doubt I'm even gonna watch much of the draft since I watch actual TV shows on Thursday, will have something better to do on Friday, and Saturday is just late rounds. So good luck Dirty Birds, we got a Super Bowl to win next year.

Fuck You Mike Vick, Forever and Ever Until You Are Dead

Mike Vick informed noted media outlet, Gangsta Grillz Radio, of his desire to play for the Carolina Panthers because of their sweet uniforms, closeness to his former killing fields, and so he can play against the Falcons twice a year.

yeah, fine, that would be awesome. that's two wins a year and if there is truly karma in the world then some Falcons defensive linemen will destroy your fucking knee and end your career with one righteous hit. that would be sweet sweet justice.

"...A Fucking Football Team That Never Wins"

i thought i'd go ahead and note as a long suffering fan of the Atlanta Falcons that they finally posted back-to-back winning seasons for the first time ever. EVER!!!!! goddamnit, what a shitty fucking franchise. of course having their 2nd winning season in a row didn't mean shit cuz they missed the playoffs (those damn losses to the Panthers and Giants!) so yeah, all it really means is they get a lower draft pick. still i would like to believe if Turner and Ryan hadn't gotten hurt that Atlanta could've won 10 or 11 games. they had one of the hardest schedules in the league and posted a 9-7 record. they've got a lot of young talent, a legit QB (even though Ryan struggled a lot this year), and a good coach. with any luck winning seasons won't be a big deal in the future and the thought of winning a championship might just creep into my skull....if i could shake 31 years of being a pessimist out of it.

Yay for lowered-expectations!

So the Atlanta Falcons will officially not have a losing season! so that's a positive, still gotta win next weekend to give the franchise it's first ever back-to-back winning seasons. hooray mediocrity! i still can't believe this team lost to the Giants and Panthers. the Falcons should be fighting for one of those last playoff spots, not hoping to be 9-7 so they can feel like winners. fuck winners. i want a team that's competing for a Super Bowl.


not lost on me during the Falcons' savage ass beating of the Bills yesterday was the fact that Matt Ryan was going up against Brian Brohm...the guy i WANTED Atlanta to draft instead of Matt Ryan. let's just go ahead and say that i am made of fucking stupid.

He's Coming

this Sunday, Mike Vick returns to the Dome. granted he's just the 3rd string QB for the Eagles and will probably be on the field 5 or 6 plays...at the most, and yet i am fucking dreading every second of this. i'm smart enough to know that shit could get really mean and really nasty in the Dome (and especially outside where supporters and protesters will surely have a few words with one another)....so i call for the fans of the Falcons, those who are against and those who support Mike Vick, to use some common sense on Sunday afternoon. let's all be as civil about this thing as possible. let's try to be as mature and calm as we can. let's not let a potentially ugly situation turn into something more than an ex-player who some people love and some people hate that some will cheer and some will boo. please. do it for the kids. be adults.

but if Mike Vick should take the field and be snapped in half by an on coming rusher...well that wouldn't be so bad either.

FUCK YOU TURF TOE!!!

Turf Toe!!! say it ain't so.

you know what that means:

Matt Ryan is probably done for the rest of the year.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, why do you hate my Atlanta Falcons so much? is it all the booty music?

goddamncockfacedmotherfuckingpieceofshit!

REDMAN!!!!!!

when you aren't making awesome movies with Method Man you are winning football games for my Dirty Birds!

a billion sips of purple drank for you sir.

BURDS!!!!!

DeAngelo Hall....still a big fucking douche. have i ever mentioned i'm so glad he's gone?

on the flipside, Mike Smith will whip your punk ass if you let go of him.

Fucking Shit Fuck

fucking Saints. the sympathy love ran out already. i hope you fuckers get relocated someday.

goddamn shit fuck cock suck motherfucking bastards!

i'm starting to have my doubts on Atlanta's playoff chances.

BUUUUUURRRRDSSS!!!

Dome = Defended.

thanks Falcons, i needed that.

SUPER BOWL OR BUST!!!!!

Welcome Back NFLs, I Missed You

random thoughts and such from Week 1 of the NFL.



Oh Falcons. You goin' to da SupaBowl. but for serious, watchin' the Falcons manhandle Miami's offense for almost the entire game was a thing of pure beauty. a junk TD by Smoke Dog Ricky in the 4th once the game was pretty much over was okay by me. and in all honestly that shit shoulda been a total blowout of Matt Ryan wasn't over throwing his receivers so much to start the game. I'm feeling it, dude. for the first time in many many years i BELIEVE in the the Falcons.

sadly looking like a smooth motherfucker doesn't = super star QB.


oh Jason Campbell. i fear you won't make it through the season if you keep playin' like this. this is obviously Campbell's make or break it year with the Redskins. they did ever thing they could to try and land Cutler or Sanchez in the offseason, so if J.C. can't lead them to the playoffs (at the very least) then i see him getting shipped out of town or benched next year.

Neckbeard wins it on the most fluke play i've ever seen.


Meanwhile Droopy Dog played like dogshit and the Bears get their lunch money stolen vs. the Packers. that game was pure suck.


elsewheres in games i did not watch:

McNabb got hurt! SHOCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also Jake Delhomme is made of SUCK.

Drew Brees however is made of awesome! 6 fucking touchdowns!? are you shitting me? i'm afraid of what he may do to Atlanta's secondary.

Sexy Sanchez wins. Stafford loses and throws about a million interceptions. my over under for INTS by Matt Stafford this year is 22. such is the life of a Detroit Lions QB.

FACT: Purple Jesus is more awesome at football than anyone since Bo Jackson.


Dear St. Louis Rams fans,

this is your football season.


and for fans out there of the Thug Apologists: i regret to inform you that i've retired from fantasy football as i haven't the love and effort to put into it anymore. and so it goes.

but....

SCI FI FANTASY FOOTBALL! think of the possibilities. Boba Fett is your starting WR, Legolas as your QB, a defense made up of Cylons!!! Nerdgasm.