A Week And a Day and the Pain Starts

this is everything you'll need for the 2009 college football season, Auburn fans.

So Much For West Fucking Virginia

here's the Smiths to eulogize the passing of our good friend West Fucking Virginia with their song "I Know It's Over". (with Spanish subtitles noless.)

for those without sound on your computers, the lyrics follow...

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well. Enough said.
I know it's over - still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Oh ...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
See, the sea wants to take me
The knife wants to slit me
Do you think you can help me ?
Sad veiled bride, please be happy
Handsome groom, give her room
Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly
(Though she needs you
More than she loves you)
And I know it's over - still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Over and over and over and over
Over and over, la ...
I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
And you even spoke to me, and said :
"If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you're so very good-looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight ?
I know ...
'Cause tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they're in each other's arms..."
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes strength to be gentle and kind
Over, over, over, over
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes guts to be gentle and kind
Over, over
Love is Natural and Real
But not for you, my love
Not tonight, my love
Love is Natural and Real
But not for such as you and I, my love
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my ...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can even feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my ...

it was a good run boys. you announced yourself on the scene 3 years ago by upsetting the Georgia Bulldogs in the Sugar Bowl and announcing to the world that Pat White was a college football star. over the next 2 seasons you played in some of the most exciting Thursday night college football games ever. you were within one game of the BCS title game before you got pantsed by Pitt to close out last season. after that your own personal hell got worse when your coach bolted for the Big House and you were left wondering where it all went wrong. but then you guys went out and shocked the world one more time by blowing the fucking doors off those January choke artists at Oklahoma....but euphoria is a sonofabitch. so you made the good ol' boy assistant the head man and now look at you. you're 0-2 against Division I schools. you got your ass kicked by East Carolina?!! it's over baby. oh and that new coach. i'm getting that 1 and done kind of feeling.

poor Pat White. this is totally hurting his draft stock, i'm sure.

and so that's it. a loss to Colorado in overtime last night is the official beginning of the end for West Virginia. i doubt they take the same kind of flaming nosedive that befell Louisville last year, but still 4 losses looks pretty likely with Auburn and South Florida still waiting on the schedule, and that doesn't even take into consideration possible losses to Cincinnati or Louisville. can they really end up 6-6? no! i won't believe that's how my boy Pat White would go out. sad sad sad.

they say pictures are worth a thousand words or some shit like that. well this one sums up my entire post pretty damn well. via Dr. Saturday.

that's what Stewart was doing on 3rd and 2 in overttime. Worst Hire Ever.

if you can't beat 'em on the field, then beat 'em off it

Alabama is currently CRUSHING Auburn today in recruiting. Bama just landed Mr. Everything Wide Receiver and "Next Calvin Johnson" Julio Jones. let's hope he doesn't live up to all that hype. Auburn better make it 7 in a row this year and then hope Saban gets tired of this Alabama shit and splits town, because anymore recruiting smackdowns like this and Auburn might be on the end of some losing streaks of their own.

some BAMA fan made a top prospects youtube video. enjoy your future MB.

I'll Never Get That Part Of My Life Back

Watching the Falcons on Monday Night Football (with an episode of Heroes sandwiched in between) might be the most useless and pointless waste of my time that I've committed in many a year. my fantasy football game was pretty much wrapped up with only Morten Anderson left...so there was no real drama in my fantasy game to worry about, and I HATE The Giants with a passion...so watching them pummel Joey Harrington all night was not something I'd enjoy anymore than having to sit through the rape scene in Deliverance. Honestly having a good fantasy team is sadly the only thing that will keep me interested in an NFL season that is obviously gonna end with another fucking Patriots championship. there's really only so much of that i can tolerate.

ten things i'd rather watch than the Falcons play football

1. South Asian snuff film
2. wild dogs attacking a baby
3. a musical
4. National League baseball
5. the Oxygen channel
6. the male nude scenes from OZ
7. mexican soap operas
8. fattie porn
9. the 700 club
10. any film starring Meg Ryan

The First Saturday In September = The Happiest Time Of The Year

College Football is back!!!!

i'm drinking. although it is German beer.

my girlfriend thinks Jesse Palmer's (former shitty Qb and Bachelor star) haircut is not good. "it looks like a pineapple", actually were her words. i have no thoughts on this matter.

MB will be apologizing for some Thugs at some point and making some insane claims about Bama.

The Michigan loss means that no matter how bad Auburn's season is i will still have something to laugh about occasionally. Coach Carr needs to be fired.

Notre Dame vs Georgia Tech is making me sleepy. Demetrius Jones pretty much sucks, maybe going with Jimmy Clausen would've been a better idea. 16-0 at half time = i could give a fuck who you started at QB.

the Virginia Tech coverage didn't annoy me nearly as much as i thought it would have. I'll be glad when LSU puts an end to this dream. not trying to hate on people who have been through a tragedy but ESPN has a way of making this shit insufferable.

Wake Forest might actually be respectable...or not, maybe Boston College just fucking sucks.

Florida looks like they're going to be scary, granted they did play Western Kentucky...but still they scored points at ease.

maybe Joey Fucking Harrington doesn't suck???

ah the Pre-Season, a time of false hope for the playoff pretender. going into this season i had already written the Falcons off...and that was when that guy who kills dogs was still running the show.. but with good ole' Joey taking over i sorta figured we were just playing for a draft pick, and so it goes. but i somehow got so bored i watched the Monday night pre-season Bengals @ Falcons game and there was a strange thing that happened...suddenly Joey Fucking Harrington looked like a Quarterback. 2 touchdowns, 0 picks, he made all the right throws, he was running around like a kid and pumping his fist. and then i thought, hey maybe this won't be so bad after all. granted it was just the pre-season and it was the Bengals (aka one of the worst defences in the league) but suddenly what was looking like a 2-14 season is slowly starting to look like 8-8, which isn't actually an improvement and honestly i kinda would rather have that 2-14 season so we can get the number 1 pick in the draft....but maybe we won't have to spend it on a QB and instead can get Darren McFadden instead and build this franchise around the NFL's next great runningback. who knows? it's still a long season ahead of us, but i have this sneaky feeling that Harrington might just be the NFL comeback player of the year. HAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH FUCKING RIGHT! this season is gonna be a disaster. but maybe not as big as i had hoped for.

Killing Dogs = Finding Religion

so Mike Vick finally plead guilty today and then had a little press conference from which much bullshit flowed,

"First, I want to apologize, you know, for all the things that -- that I've done and that I have allowed to happen. I want to personally apologize to commissioner Goodell, Arthur Blank, coach Bobby Petrino, my Atlanta Falcons teammates, you know, for our -- for our previous discussions that we had. And I was not honest and forthright in our discussions, and, you know, I was ashamed and totally disappointed in myself to say the least," Vick said.

"I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts and, you know, what I did was, what I did was very immature so that means I need to grow up."

Vick said he now has renounced dogfighting and has found religion as a result of the federal charges. "Dogfighting is a terrible thing. I reject it," he said.

"I totally ask for forgiveness and understanding as I move forward to bettering Michael Vick the person, not the football player," Vick said.

"I take full responsibility for my actions … I am totally responsible."

what a bunch of shit. who wrote that for him? you know what. all i have to say about this is FUCK YOU VICK! you're like a really hot girlfriend who just cheats on you all the time and then ends up fucking your best friend just to drive the nail in the coffin. i hope you NEVER play in the NFL again. you are a fucking useless retard and a disgrace and i hope someone shanks you in the yard...but i guess that's too much to ask for. i will no longer mention you again.

If Only the Falcons Owned A Time Traveling Delorean

so our Hero, Ronald Mexico (aka Michael Vick aka the Unstoppable Force On Madden) is probably about to get suspended for the season by the NFL. now this is more or less just for show considering i don't think anyone saw Mike getting on the field this season anyways, but regardless it's pretty much nailing the point home that The Falcons are totally fucked....which all brings me back to the fact that The Falcons really should have traded Vick right after the water bottle fiasco in Miami. we all know that the Raiders would have stupidly jumped at the chance to trade away the number one pick to Atlanta for Vick. if that had happened we'd have Matt Schuab throwing to Calvin Johnson...instead of Joey Fucking Harrington throwing to the other team. oh well.

An Open Letter To Jake Plummer...and his Mustache

Dear Jake Plummer,

My name is Justin Robinson. I am an unfortunate and tragic fan of the Atlanta Falcons. You may or may not have heard, but currently our franchise quarterback is about to go on trial for dog fighting and more or less his ass has been run out of town. As it stands we are now left with Joey Harrington and some scrubs at the position. there's even been talk of bringing in Aaron Rogers (another fucking Tedfordbot like Harrington and Kyle Bowler...fuck that dude). We were just wondering if it would be at all possible to get you to come out of retirement and get Tampa Bay to trade you north to Atlanta. I have followed your career since your senior year at Arizona State where you lead the Sun Devils to a Rose Bowl appearance. You were one of the most exciting players in college football. Running around like a fool and making amazing plays and earning the nickname Jake The Snake (well that was already someone else's name...but who cares). Bill Walsh even called you "the next Joe Montana". unfortunately you spent your early years in the NFL tearing it up for the Cardinals and performing amazing feats such as throwing a pass with your left hand and getting leveled by linebackers after your 4th interception of the game. but still you were totally awesome to watch and if i am gonna be asked as a fan of the Falcons to endure a losing season, I'd at least like to have a QB behind center who could make me care about the fact that yeah we were gonna lose...but goddamnit we were gonna fucking lose with some style. Jake Plummer, Atlanta Needs You. And Your Mustache.

thanks.

your pal,

justin

Who wants to be the next franchise Quarterback of the Falcons?

so Vick's dogfighting bullshit has created a couple of problems in my universe. first of all The Falcons just went from MOST fun team to use on Madden to LEAST in a manner of seconds. from here on out all of us lazy Madden players who like to run around in the pocket waiting for someone to throw deep to or waiting for the linebackers to drop into coverage and then scramble for 20 yards (repeat x number of times till your friend threatens to stab you in the heart and then throws down his controller in disgust) will now have to run with the Tennessee Titans.

problem 2, who the fuck is gonna pilot this ship of doom for the great city of Atlanta into the next decade? considering the depth in the division and the schedule the falcons have this year it's probably not too unlikely that they are gonna end up somewhere around 4 wins and have one of the top 5 picks in the draft. now part of me really wants them to spend that pick on Darren McFadden and just ride that horse to the motherfucking promised land....but adding a runningback to a team without a quarterback seeems unlikely...not when Bobby Petrino is running the show now and his former start pupil in Brian Brohm is gonna be sitting there on day 1 ready to step in a take over the show in Atlanta.



so Brohm is the odds on favorite to end up the next Falcons QB, which is fine i guess. i'd put him at 3-1. he's shown amazing ability in college and could end up being the next Carson Palmer...but also he seems to be made out of glass at some points and hasn't played an entire season in his 3 years of college so far. and that's the kind of shit that makes me uneasy. i mean don't we all remember the Chris Chandler days? not really ready for that again. so who else is there for the taking?

our second choice is Colt Brennan. he put up insane numbers last year in the pass happy/no defense WAC and is sort of the Anti-Vick....except for the whole breaking into a girls dorm room and trying to molest her when he was a freshman at Colorado or whatever the fuck he did. anyways Colt looks like an NFL quarterback and not just your typical Ty Detmer/Timmy Chang/whoever they have behind center at Texas Tech who just plays throw throw throw football and can't actually make it in the league. No i think Colt will actually end up being a pretty good QB in the NFL...but maybe isn't such a good fit in Atlanta. i see him as a better fit in Detroit running the Mike Martz offense and putting up Kurt Warner (pre-brain meltdown) numbers throwing to Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams.

our third canidate in the race for Falcons '08 is John David Booty. Booty might just end up the third Trojans QB to win the Heisman Trophy this decade...and more than likely is gonna be holding up that National Champion trophy at the end of the year. now Booty isn't as flashy as Matt Leinart and Carson Palmer and he has a knack for getting his passes batted down during game deciding situations...but he is the QB for the Trojans and so far they've produced two stars in Leinart and Palmer. he could end up being a perfect fit under an offensive mind like Petrino and he's basically been playing for a Pro Team at USC anyways. i'd guess he'd be the most ready to step in and play from day one...i just don't know if he'll be happy with all the lack of talent he'll be surrounded by after being spoiled at Southern Cal.

some other dark horses are Andre Woodson from Kentucky, Chad Henne from Michigan, and Eric Ainge of Tennessee...but honestly i find it hard to get excited about any of those names. i guess if people really want to replace Vick the Falcons could always wait another year until West Virginia's Pat White is available. he's got the speed but not really the arm to play in the NFL. he'd still be more fun to watch than Joey Fucking Harrington. oh well, it's gonna be a long season Falcons fans.