10 Most Hated Teams In College Football

ESPN did a list of the Top 10 Most Hated programs in College Football. i agree with most of the list.

here's my own personal top 10
1. Georgia
2. Notre Dame
3. Ohio State
4. Alabama (not really, but you gotta hate the rival)
5. Michigan
6. LSU
7. Oklahoma (only because of Bob Stoops)
8. Tennessee
9. Florida
10. USC (only for all the goddamn cheating and the ESPN lovefest. they turn out the sickest college players since 90s era Miami.)

Top 5 Favorite Teams Of All Time

1. 1991-1992 Atlanta Braves- the team that started the Braves on their historic run. 2 great pennant races against The Dodgers and The Giants. Worst to First. vs the Twins in the greatest World Series of All Time. and then the heroics of Francisco Cabrera with Sid Bream sliding home (he's still running home right now). two painful losses in the World Series would prepare me for all the disappointment to come and then apathy would set it in, but those first two years were the greatest.

2. 2004 Auburn Tigers- the undefeated season. the best backfield in the nation. the 4 first round draft picks. crushing Georgia. beating the Tide. knocking off Tennessee twice. getting shut out of the BCS title game was a bunch of bullshit, but undefeated is better than gettin' blown the fuck out of the water by USC.

3. 2004 Atlanta Falcons- Vick was back and the Falcons were unstoppable on the ground. they won the NFC South and crushed the Rams in the playoffs and made it to the NFC Championship game only to lose to the Eagles. everything was looking up though. the Falcons were a team on the rise....and we all know how that ended. they get the nod over the 1998 Super Bowl team because 1) i thought the Dirty Bird was stupid and 2) it was a total fluke that they even beat the Vikings in the playoffs and 3) they got their asses destroyed by the Broncos.

4. 1985 Chicago Bears- the greatest football team of all time. they had videos, action figures, and Ditka. the first Super Bowl i ever watched. one of the greatest beatdowns in NFL history. the easiest non-regional team ever to root for.

5. 1988-1989 Detroit Pistons- the Motor City Bad Boys. the dirtiest team in league history. i fucking hated them when i was a kid, but as a got older i learned to appreciate how fucking awesome they were. plus they thugged the hell out of Jordan all the time and it can't be understated how much i truly hate Michael Jordan.

The Packers are trying to ruin my fantasy team

so the Packers are offering Brett 20 million over the next 10 years to shut the fuck up and go away. smart. unfortunately it's killing my fantasy team's chances of taking advantage of the 2 QB system this year. i could stab a motherfucker. just trade him to the Bucs and let's get this shit over with. i got a championship to win, damnit!

BUY ME THIS

it's my birthday Saturday. sadly I'm turning 30. in an effort to counteract the aging process i want a shiny new video game system to spend all my idle time. it's only 400 bucks. and really what's the price for happiness?

Peace Out Teixeira

thanks a lot for not helping us get back to the playoffs. have fun winning a world series with the fucking Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Of California In The United States Part Of North America In The Domain Of The Western Hemisphere On The Planet Earth In The Milky Way Motherfucking Galaxy. in return for trading away Mark we get some trash and some minor league guy. and that's not even taking into consideration everything Atlanta gave up last year to bring Teixeira over. all in all i rank this as one of the 5 worst moves in post-91 team history.

Please, Don't Take Emmitt Away

Goddamn it! ESPN knows how to ruin a good thing. first they got rid of Michael Irvin and now they are taking Emmitt Smith away from us on Sunday Night Countdown and replacing him with the highly unlikeable Chris Carter. where else am i gonna get quotes like "Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage." now the Emmitt is being limited in his role? it's time ESPN did the right thing and gave Irvin and Smith their own show together called We Some Cowboys.

it's shark week bitches

sports fall to the wayside in favor of great whites. ryan seacrest is so excited about shark week he went and got attacked by one.

It's Over!

The Braves are officially toast. they're done. let's all move on to bigger and better things like college football. if you enjoy watching losing teams, you'll have the 2008 Falcons to look forward to.

Thug Apologists Fantasy Draft-a-thon 2008

results of our 2008 fantasy draft

round player

1 Tony Romo, QB Cowboys
2 Terrell Owens, WR Cowboys
3 Jamal Lewis, RB Browns
4 Darren Mcfadden, RB Raiders
5 Antonio Gates, TE Chargers
6 Roy Willaims, WR Lions
7 Fred Taylor, RB Jaguars
8 Chris Chambers, WR Chargers
9 New England Patriots defense
10 Chester Taylor, RB Vikings
11 Rashard Mendenhall, RB Steelers
12 Deuce Mcallister, RB Saints
13 Kevin Curtis, WR Eagles
14 Brett Favre, QB Packers
15 Reggie Williams, WR Jaguars
16 Ricky Williams, RB Dolphis
17 Jason Elam, K Falcons

that's right bitches. we got Favre is the 14th round. whatchu know bout dat? steal of the draft...hopefully. anyways our team is pretty solid. not nearly the amazing backfield we had last year of Purple Jesus and Joseph Addai, but we've got easily the best receiving corp in our league and the best QB duo as long as Favre actually gets to play cuz in this year's fantasy league we can play 2 Quarterbacks. and unlike the Atlanta Falcons we've got Darren McFadden. hopefully he can do for us this year what Purple Jesus did for us last year.

to quote kennie bloggins, "this team must be good because i don't like most of these players." word.

Working On Saturday Blows

some random thoughts and notes about sports and other stuff

- it's about fucking time the Braves put a beatdown on the Phillies, but this all seems too little too late. expect to see the Braves trading away anyone of value that they can't build around...aka see you later Tex.

- who knew that the worst possible thing that could happen to the Hawks would be winning 3 playoff games? coach Mike Woodson was retained, thereby pissing off all the players. Josh Smith wanted out, but the Hawks retain him because noone was willing to give him a contract that they couldn't match. Josh Childress opts to go play in Greece instead of having to endure another season with the team. also let's not forget that the Hawks added zero free agent impact players and had no draft picks.

- The Falcons are gearing up for the pre-season, right now Chris Redman is the starter but i'm sure Arthur Blank will be breathing down his new head coach's neck to put in Matt Ryan ASAP. my prediction for the Falcons this year, 4 wins 6 wins top...but that's wildly optimistic.

- Auburn had 9 players named to the media's 1st and 2nd ALL-SEC team the most of any team in the conference. Ben Tate, Lee Ziemba, and Tyrone Greene were all named to the 2nd team offense. Sen'Derrick Marks was named 1st team defense and Antonio Coleman, Tray Blackmon, and Jerraud Powers were named to the 2nd team. punter Ryan Shoemaker was a first team selection and Wes Byrum was the 2nd team kicker. LSU was 2nd with 8 players. Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina all had 5. all in all this is pointless pre-season hype and i just want the season to start already.

- i really really wanna go see The Dark Knight again and i can't wait for the next installment. if i was a betting man (besides college football pick 'ems and NCAA backetball tournaments) i'd put my money on Catwoman and the Riddler showing up in the next film.


- why the fuck is a new X-Files movie coming out and who even cared about see it?

- although i find Katy Perry's song "i kissed a girl" to be highly annoying, i find her to be highly hot.


- i'm really bored and want to take a nap.

Positive Vibes Fridays: No Age totally rules

a video for the song "Eraser" by our favorite new band, No Age. it's what the kids are into. enjoy.

Tebow might not have to cry this year

this is a few days late so the timeline isn't accurate, but at the SEC Media Days Tebow made some comment about losing to Auburn, saying something like if they'd just done one more thing they would have beaten the Tigers. what thing would that have been? calling another timeout so that Byrum had to kick 3 field goals in a row? well at least Tebow doesn't have to worry about Auburn until they lose to the Tigers in the SEC title game.

a look back: 1987 Topps Baseball Cards

1987, the year i really started to collect baseball cards. and Topps was my set. i owned a shit ton of them. it contained the rookie cards of Bo Jackson, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Wally Joyner, Ruben Sierra, Fred McGriff, Greg Maddux, John Kruk, Barry Larkin, Rafael Palmeiro, Bobby Bonilla, David Cone, Will Clark, Benito Santiago, Chuck Finley, and Terry Mulholland. if there was ever a collection of rookie players to build your future card set value around it was this one. but of course that was also the year that Topps overproduced their card line and made the value of the entire set and those rookie cards much less than it should have been, also a lot of those future all stars never really reached the Hall-Of-Fame levels that i'd hoped (i mean seriously Will Clark and Wally Joyner were more hyped than Bonds ever was their rookie years). i of course still look back fondly in the set because it was the first one that i actively collected and it had Bo's rookie card. and even though i kept collecting cards until about 1991, no set ever meant as much to me as this one.

Gettin' Ready For My NFL Fantasy Draft

the Thug Apologist braintrust gets together tonight to get they strategy on for this weekends upcoming fantasy draft. a fantasy draft in fucking July?! yeah, our league is retarded.

likely topics of discussion
-our own player rankings based around personal bias
-which of our players will be arrested during the season
-which college runningback we both love will have the biggest breakout rookie season
-how many rounds we should avoid drafting our first receiver
-what round to take Brett Favre in

Know Your Enemy: Alabama Crimson Tide

Auburn rolls into the season riding a six game winning streak in one of (if not the most) heated rivalries in college football. but this is YEAR TWO in the Nick Saban Rebuilding Project. which means there's no way that Bama is having as lousy a year as they did last season...not for 4 million dollars a year they aren't. Auburn still owns a slight edge over Alabama in terms of on the field talent, especially in Auburn's defense vs. Bama's offense. but help is on the way for the Tide in the form of the greatest recruiting class in school history. Saban might not know how to beat UL Monroe, but he sure as shit can recruit 4 and 5 star man beasts. and so a sense of dread has taken over the happy minds of Auburn fans, who fear their dominance over this most hated rival may be coming to an end. winning 6 times in a row might be the sort of thing you'd think would give a fan base confidence, but this is fucking Alabama and for most of us it's just an act of survival to keep The Tide from reclaiming their foothold on a state rivalry that they dominated for decades.

Alabama's strengths come in the form of one of the best offensive lines in the entire country, headlined of course by Andre Smith, a likely top 5 pick in next year's draft. you might remember him from such moments as this.

i love it when fat guys score. anyways the rest of the line is pretty solid as well, especially senior center Antoine Caldwell (3rd team All SEC). the line is blocking for a talented young running back in Terry Grant (3rd team All SEC) who looks like the first truly NFL caliber runner the Tide has had in years. Grant started the season hot and looked like a possible freshman of the year candidate until injuries and a rotating cast of 8 million runningbacks slowed his season...oh yeah and some guy named Knowshon showed up and took that freshman of the year honor by the horns.

the real weakness of the Tide offense comes in the form of senior QB and perpetual turnover machine, John Parker Wilson. no player cost he's team more games than Wilson. whether it was his poor play against FSU, his interception against Mississippi State, and his costly fumble against LSU; Parker found more ways to lose than he ever did to win. with JP running the show the Tide has turned out 2 straight 6-6 regular seasons and that's something that Bama fans can't stomach anymore. don't be surprised if John Parker finds himself getting pushed for playing time from back up Greg McElroy or true freshman Star Jackson....especially if things start off bad for the Tide. the receiving corp is another weakness for Alabama, but only for lack of experience. Bama landed the number 1 recruit in the nation in five star wide receiver Julio Jones. Jones has been compared to Calvin Johnson in terms of speed and talent, if he's even half as good as Johnson was then Bama could have a lethal redzone threat and a guy who can stretch the field, thereby helping the power running game.

the defense has some real potential lead by senior safety Rashad Johnson and sophomore linebacker Rolando McClain. unfortunately the defense lacks depth thanks to poor recruiting from the Shula era. expect to see lots of freshman getting to play on that side of the ball. and a young defense is often a mistake prone defense. if Alabama wants to climb back on top of the SEC West their D is gonna have to step up sooner than later.

most people wouldn't consider Alabama a real threat to win the SEC West this season. it's basically a two horse race between Auburn and LSU like it has been for the last 8 years or so, but the Tide could greatly impact the West by upsetting one of the top two teams.

i predict Alabama to have a better season than 2007. they start the season off with Clemson at the Georgia Dome. that could set the tone for the entire year if they were able to pull off an upset. after that they've got tough road games against LSU and Georgia and then there's the annual match up with my Auburn team and no Tide fan wants to see this losing streak they are on reach 7. if i was a betting man i'd say Alabama wins 8 games, finally puts the beat down on Mississippi State that they owe them, upsets at least one top 25 team, and ends up in the Chick-Fil-A bowl setting the team up for a West title run next year.

Kenny Irons reminds us that he is awesome

although he's never set foot on the field during an NFL game after spending 2007 out with a knee injury, former Auburn and current Bengals running back still knows how to party. he also carries a midget around in a suitcase to suck his dick. good times.

30 Years Of Auburn Football

in the 30 years i have been alive one of the few constants has been my love of the Auburn Tigers Football team.

Auburn Tigers Dream Team (1978-2008)

OFFENSE

QB- Stan White
RB- Bo Jackson
RB- Cadillac Williams
FB- Tommie Agee
WR- Frank Sanders
WR- Karsten Bailey
WR- Courtney Taylor
TE- Walter Reeves
OT- Marcus McNeil
OT- Stacy Searels
OG- Ed King
OG- Kendall Simmons
C- Ben Tamburello

reserves
QB- Dameyune Craig
RB- Brent Fullwood
RB- Ronnie Brown
WR- Tim Carter
WR- Ben Obomanu
TE- Cooper Wallace
OT- Wayne Gandy
OG- Ben Grubbs

DEFENSE

DE- Quentin Groves
DE- Stanley McClover
DT- Tracy Rocker
DT- David Rocker
LB- Karlos Dansby
LB- Takeo Spikes
LB- Aundray Bruce
CB- Carlos Rogers
CB- David Irons
S- Chris Shelling
S- Junior Rosegreen

reserves
DE- Reggie Torbor
DT- Donnie Humphrey
LB- Kurt Crain
LB- Marcus Washington
CB- Rod Hood
S/LB- Will Herring

SPECIAL TEAMS
K- Damon Duval
P- Terry Daniel
KR- Devin Aromashodu

Pre-Season All SEC Team Announced

lots of Auburn players getting some love, mostly on the 2nd team. but where the fuck is Wes Byrum? he had 2 game winning kicks last year as a true freshman and was very accurate. he's a lot better kicker than Colt David. all that dude did was score a touchdown on a trick play. all in all a pretty good list of players, but John Parker Wilson? seriously? not even Kennie Bloggins would think that was appropriate. i guess it helps being the only senior QB with any experience in the SEC.

2008 SEC COACHES PRE-SEASON ALL-SEC FOOTBALL TEAM
(#-Ties / *-Unanimous Selection) (Coaches could not vote for themselves or their own players)

FIRST-TEAM ALL-SEC -- OFFENSE
Pos. Name School Ht. Wt.
TE Cornelius Ingram Florida 6-4 223 Sr.
OL *Andre Smith Alabama 6-5 340 Jr.
OL *Michael Oher Ole Miss 6-5 318 Sr.
OL *Anthony Parker Tennessee 6-3 305 Sr.
OL Herman Johnson LSU 6-7 351
C *Jonathan Luigs Arkansas 6-4 314 Sr.
WR Percy Harvin Florida 5-11 178 Jr.
WR Kenny McKinley South Carolina 6-0 182 Sr.
QB Tim Tebow Florida 6-3 232 Jr.
RB *Knowshon Moreno Georgia 5-11 207 So.
RB Arian Foster Tennessee 6-1 215 Sr.

SECOND-TEAM ALL-SEC -- OFFENSE
Pos. Name School Ht. Wt.
TE Richard Dickson LSU 6-3 237 Jr.
OL Ciron Black LSU 6-5 314
OL Tyronne Green Auburn 6-2 307 Sr.
OL #Ramon Foster Tennessee 6-6 325
OL #Lee Ziemba Auburn 6-8 288 So.
OL #Mitch Petrus Arkansas 6-4 305
OL #Garry Williams Kentucky 6-3 300 Sr.
C #Antoine Caldwell Alabama 6-3 292 Sr.
C #Brett Helms LSU 6-2 283
WR Demetrius Byrd LSU 6-2 195
WR Mohamed Massaquoi Georgia 6-2 198 Sr.
QB Matthew Stafford Georgia 6-3 237 Jr.
RB Anthony Dixon Mississippi State 6-1 240 Jr.
RB Ben Tate Auburn 5-11 215 Jr.

THIRD-TEAM ALL-SEC -- OFFENSE
Pos. Name School Ht. Wt.
TE Jared Cook South Carolina 6-5 242 Jr.
OL Phil Trautwein Florida 6-6 301 Sr.
OL Jim Tartt Florida 6-3 300
OL John Jerry Ole Miss 6-5 350 Jr.
OL Anthony Strauder Mississippi State 6-3 290 Sr.
C Josh McNeil Tennessee 6-4 280 Jr.
WR Lucas Taylor Tennessee 6-0 185
WR Brandon LaFell LSU 6-3 194 Jr.
QB John Parker Wilson Alabama 6-2 213 Sr.
RB Keiland Williams LSU 5-11 223 Jr.
RB Terry Grant Alabama 5-10 188 So.

FIRST-TEAM ALL-SEC -- DEFENSE
Pos. Name School Ht. Wt.
DL *Greg Hardy Ole Miss 6-4 265 Jr.
DL Sen'Derrick Marks Auburn 6-1 288 Jr.
DL Tyson Jackson LSU 6-5 292
LB *Brandon Spikes Florida 6-3 245 Jr.
LB Rico McCoy Tennessee 6-1 215 Jr.
LB Darry Beckwith LSU 6-1 232 Sr.
LB Dannell Ellerbe Georgia 6-1 232
DB Eric Berry Tennessee 5-11 195 So.
DB Derek Pegues Mississippi State 5-10 196 Sr.
DB #Rashad Johnson Alabama 6-0 187 Sr.
DB #Captain Munnerlyn South Carolina 5-9 185 Jr.
DB #D.J. Moore Vanderbilt 5-10 182 Jr.


SECOND-TEAM ALL-SEC -- DEFENSE
Pos. Name School Ht. Wt.
DL Ricky Jean-Francois LSU 6-3 281 Jr.
DL Geno Atkins Georgia 6-1 290 Jr.
DL #Jeremy Jarmon Kentucky 6-3 277 Jr.
DL #Peria Jerry Ole Miss 6-2 290 Sr. Batesville, Miss.
LB Jasper Brinkley South Carolina 6-2 275 Sr.
LB Rolando McClain Alabama 6-4 255 So.
LB Eric Norwood South Carolina 6-1 270 Jr.
LB #Tray Blackmon Auburn 6-2 220 Jr.
LB #Jamar Chaney Mississippi State 6-1 236 Sr.
DB Emanuel Cook South Carolina 5-10 214 Jr.
DB Asher Allen Georgia 5-10 198 Jr.
DB Trevard Lindley Kentucky 6-0 175 Jr.
DB Jerraud Powers Auburn 5-9 188 Jr.

THIRD-TEAM ALL-SEC -- DEFENSE
Pos. Name School Ht. Wt.
DL Antonio Coleman Auburn 6-2 250 Jr.
DL #Antwain Robinson Arkansas 6-2 258 Sr.
DL #Kirston Pittman LSU 6-4 254 Sr.
DL #Jeff Owens Georgia 6-3 298
LB Rennie Curran Georgia 5-11 220
LB Braxton Kelley Kentucky 6-0 230 Sr.
DB #Reshard Langford Vanderbilt 6-2 208 Sr.
DB #Chad Jones LSU 6-3 222
DB #Major Wright Florida 6-0 194 So.
DB #Joe Haden Florida 5-11 180 So.
DB #Wondy Pierre-Louis Florida 6-0 182 Jr.

FIRST-TEAM ALL-SEC -- SPECIAL TEAMS
Pos. Name School Ht. Wt.
PK Colt David LSU 5-9 175
P Ryan Shoemaker Auburn 6-0 192
RS Brandon James Florida 5-6 179

SECOND-TEAM ALL-SEC -- SPECIAL TEAMS
School Ht. Wt. Class Hometown
PK Ryan Succop South Carolina 6-3 224
P Ryan Succop South Carolina 6-3 224
RS Javier Arenas Alabama 5-9 193 Jr.

THIRD-TEAM ALL-SEC -- SPECIAL TEAMS
School Ht. Wt. Class Hometown
PK Leigh Tiffin Alabama 6-1 198 Jr.
P Brian Mimbs Georgia 5-11 205
RS Trindon Holliday LSU 5-5 159 Jr.

Holy Shit, Batman! That Was Awesome.

went and saw The Dark Knight last night...and HOLY SHIT it fucking ruled. The title The Dark Knight is totally not a misnomer. talk about some dark ass shit. the phrase Best Comic Book Movie Ever, doesn't really do this film justice. as much as i loved Batman Begins, this movie totally blows it out of the water. i'm willing to go ahead and say it's one of the ten best movies of the last decade and i'm willing to go out on a limb and predict Heath Ledger winning best supporting actor (it's such a given...he's totally amazing), and best director for Christopher Nolan, and if their's any justice in the world The Dark Knight will become the first and only comic book film to get an Oscar nomination for best picture.

everyone's been talking about it...and it can not be understated to say how fucking brutal and sadistic and amazing Heath Ledger's performance of the Joker is. one of the best movie villians of all time. a more sadistic version of Alex from A Clockwork Orange and a scarrier maniac than even Anton Chigurh. just totally brutal and thrilling every second he's on the screen. it's a goddamn shame he's dead.

a day later and i still can't believe how fucking grim and bleak this movie was. it's on par with No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood in tone and as far as crime thrillers go, this movie is better than the Departed. there's really no point in seeing any other movies this summer until you see The Dark Knight and if you're like me, you will go see it again and again.

Positive Vibes Friday: BATMAN MANIA

it was the summer of 1989. i was 11 years old and the most hyped movie of my life was coming out. every kid i knew owned at least 3 Batman t-shirts. we used to go see other movies that summer just to see the trailer for Batman. Michael Keaton is the title character. Jack as the Joker. it was THE summer movie of my early days. i'd say if i had to rank it in movies i was anticipating most it would fall only second to Star Wars, episode I: The Phantom Menace (and we all know how that turned out). in retrospect, Batman hasn't aged that well and it's also maybe the most ripped off movie of all time as every single comic book movie that's come afterwards has borrowed from it stylistically(just think of all the black leather suit updates we've had to endure as movie fans over the last 20 years..you can thank Tim Burton for that). for an 11 year old boy it was pretty fucking awesome. well that same 11 year old boy still resides in me somewhere and he's pretty fucking pumped for The DARK KNIGHT (I'll be seeing it this evening at 8pm). anyways here's the famous trailer for the 1989 film that kicked off the whole comic book movie craze.

A Reason To Watch The Olympics

i really could care less about the Olympic games. i mean I'll watch a little men's basketball and maybe some track and field...but honestly who cares about that sport anymore. the only real good reason I've come up with to watch any of the Olympics this year is named Logan Tom.

USA! USA! USA!

Another All Star Game, Another Loss For the National League

at this point it's just starting to get ridiculous. the last time the NL won the All Star game was my junior year of high school. and before that the American League completely dominated the All Star game since 1988, only losing 3 times in the last 20 years. it's enough to make you hang your head in shame and admit that the American League really is the better league...but fuck all that.

that bit of cry-assing aside, last night was probably the BEST fucking All Star game i've ever watched in my life. 15 innings! the American league getting the bases loaded with nobody out in the 10th and then not getting a run. are you kidding? All Star Goat Dan Uggla pulling off the ultimate in All Star suckery by striking out 3 times AND committing 3 errors. Pirates' Outfielder, Nate McLouth (yeah, who?), nailing what would have been the game winning run at the plate in the bottom of the 11th with a frozen rope. both teams using up every pitcher they had giving us the option of another lame ass tie before Michael Young ended the madness with a game winning popfly in the 15th. crazy crazy shit.

some random thoughts i had while watching the game.
- i really don't watch any baseball anymore because i hadn't heard of a ton of these guys...especially on the American League.

- the only way the NL was going to win this was if they could've scored a lot of runs early while their starters were in, because the NL bench was pretty scrub tastic as far as All Star games are concerned.

-Billy Wagner sucks.

-seriously who the fuck are all these guys?

-Miguel Tejada might be a steroid using cheater who lies about his age, but he sure played his ass off last night.

-Jonathan Papelbon really should have been on my biggest douchebags in sports list. i will have to make sure to add him when the next poll comes out.

-Ryan Dempster does the weirdest fucking thing with his glove while he pitches. maybe i was drunk, but it was mesmerizing.

-whoever this Nate McLouth kid is, he rules. I'm sure he's gonna end up playing for the Yankees or Sox some day. speaking of that i wonder what the percentage of players who played in the game last night will one day play for either the Red Sox, Yankees, or Mets at some point in their careers? I'd be willing to go as high as 50%.

-the rosters of both teams need to be expanded even more and each team should be required to bring 15 pitchers just in case we go to extra innings. also the starting pitchers should both pitch at least 3 innings, unless they are getting shelled and need to be pulled for obvious reasons.

-seriously, Dan Uggla, you suck. 3 fucking errors in an All Star game?! you have just become the new Chuck Knoblauch.

-the DH should be used in both leagues for All Star games. this is something I've been saying for years because it prevents the managers from using up their bench with pinch hitters. this really has nothing to do with last night, but I'm just thinking ahead to next year.

-J.D. Drew is in the running for my least favorite ex-Braves of all time. trailing only Kenny Lofton and Gary Sheffield. can you fucking believe a Red Sox was the game MVP at Yankee stadium. i hate the fucking Red Sox.

-if it goes more than 13 innings ever again i think a homerun derby should be used to decide the winner. it makes about as much sense as the college football overtime system.

-they need to end this "The Winner gets homefield advantage" bullshit. give the team with the best record homefield advantage like they do in the NBA. it's the only thing that's fair.

-I'm too old to stay up so late watching Baseball.

Alternate Auburn Uniforms....a terrible idea, i say

this blogger went photoshop crazy and came up with some possible alternate Auburn uniforms that, after talking so much shit about UGA and their lame "Black Out" jerseys, i would be 100% against if they came into reality. check them out if you want.

i get the appeal of alternate jerseys to sell to fans or for spring games and the throw back uniforms (like Notre Dame's green jersey) but it's a slippery slope when you start wearing this shit on Saturdays. before long your Oregon with 8 thousand different uniform combinations, and that's no thing anyone should strive for.

Holy Shit!

who cares that Josh Hamilton didn't actually win the homerun derby. nobody has ever put on a show like he did in the 1st round....crushing, launching, destroying 28 blasts...many going for over 500 feet. it was the most fun thing i've seen in the homerun derby since Mark McGwire's 97 performance.

Hamilton was already the feel-good story of baseball, after overcoming drug addiction and missing 2 full years of baseball to come back and play in the majors, but this pretty much cements his place as the next superstar. i mean, DAMN! 28 homers in one round. that's just fucking insane.

30 Years Of Loving Sports: NBA

my NBA Dream Team from the year's 1978-2008

no Michael Jordan on this team. i always loathed Jordan and the Bulls and even though i understand that he's the greatest player of all time he gets no spot on my make believe squad.

starting 5
C- Shaquille O'Neal
PF- Charles Barkley
SF- Larry Bird
SG- Allen Iverson
PG- Magic Johnson


bench
C- Hakeem Olajuwon
PF- Dominique Wilkins
SF- Julius Erving
SG- Reggie Miller
PG- Steve Nash

bonus Barkley mugshot pic.

It's Official. Favre is a douche.

Brett Favre told the Packers he wants them to release him so he can come back and play for another team. so much for going quitely into the night. the Packers basically said they are gonna do whatever the hell they feel like. maybe they'll trade him. maybe they'll release him. maybe he can go fuck himself and sit his ass on the bench. regardless this reminds me of Joe Montana being sent to the Chiefs or Jerry Rice going to the Raiders...it just doesn't feel right. so Madden gets at least another year of lovefest with ole' Brett. who do you think he'll end up with? my top 3 canidates are The Jets, The Bucks, and The 49ers.

list making winning out over random thoughts on football

i feel like i've been giving less of myself to A Lifetime Of Defeats of late. it's probably cuz i've been all OCDing about turning 30 and compiling all these pointless lists over at my other blog right here. it'll pick up once football season gets closer, i'm sure.

are there things more awesome than Kitty Lea?

nope.

Matt Jones Loves The Cocaine

former Arkansas QB and current Jacksonville Jaguars receiver, Matt Jones, got busted doing blow by the Fayetteville Police. what a fucking douchebag. it's bad enough that he was doing coke, but to get arrested by the cops chopping up lines in your car in the town where you were a college football legend is just beyond stupid.

obviously Fayetteville is not governed by the same laws as Athens, GA where Quincy Carter managed to make it through his career at UGA without ever getting busted. DUMBASS.

30 Years Of Loving Sports: The NFL

my personal Dream Team of NFL players from the last 30 years (1978-2008).

offense
QB- Randall Cunningham
RB- Bo Jackson
RB- Barry Sanders
FB- Mike Alstott
WR- Jerry Rice
WR- Randy Moss
WR- Marvin Harrison
WR- Art Monk
TE- Antonio Gates
OT- Anthony Munoz
OT- Richmond Webb
OG- John Hannah
OG- Russ Grimm
C- Mark Stepnoski

defense
DE- Reggie White
DE- Howie Long
DT- Warren Sapp
DT- John Randle
OLB- Lawrence Taylor
OLB- Derrick Thomas
ILB- Mike Singletary
ILB- Jesse Tuggle
CB- Darrell Green
CB- Rod Woodson
S- Ronnie Lott
S- Steve Atwater

special teams
K- Morten Anderson
P- we will never punt the ball, ever
KR/PR- Deion Sanders

i originally picked Joe Montana as my QB and then i thought about it and said fuck that. then i saw this youtube video of Randall Cunningham and i knew who my QB needed to be.

30 Years Of Loving Sports: Baseball

i'm about to turn 30. it's a sad reality that i am trying my best to wrap my brain around. in celebration of this historic personal event i'm coming up with my JR SUICIDE ALL STARS teams. aka my favorite players position by position in the 3 major sports, plus college football, during my lifetime.

today's sport is Major League Baseball (aka my first love).

starting lineup (we're gonna be a national league team, no fucking DH)

1B- Frank Thomas
2B- Craig Biggio
SS- Ozzie Smith
3B- George Brett
LF- Bo Jackson
CF- Ken Griffey Jr.
RF- Dale Murphy
C- Sandy Alomar Jr

starting rotation
RHP- Nolan Ryan
LHP- Tom Glavine
RHP- John Smoltz
LHP- Randy Johnson

Closer- Dennis Eckersley

Back From Vacation, Now With 90% More Sunburn

ah, 4th of July Weekend. what better way to celebrate being an American than hanging out at the lake with hundreds of drunk rednecks, listening to Randy Travis and being cooked by the Sun's harmful rays? the answer: none.

i watched zero sports this weekend, but this is a run down of things that apparently happened.

Nadal beat Federer, which means that for the most part Federer's reign on top is probably coming to an end. to which i say, good. dude is more boring than Tim Duncan. Nadal at least rocks a wicked headband and probably plays guitar hero to celebrate his victories.

my former Evans High School classmate, Forest Griffin, defeated Rampage Jackson to win whatever the heck title they were fighting for in the UFC. Griffin continues to be the most famous person i went to high school with as i am criminally less famous than i should be.

A.Rod's wife is leaving him for fucking Madonna and lots of other hoes.

every single player on the Red Sox and Cubs made the All Star team, number of players from the Tampa Bay Rays (aka the the team with the best record in baseball) that made the team....2. number of Braves representing the city of Atlanta...2 (Chipper and McCann).

Brett Favre, in danger of becoming a douche

so Brett's at it again. maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't. he's got the itch.

what the fuck ever.

if i was a Green Day fan i'd want someone to come shoot me in the face. oh wait, i'm something far far worse. a Falcons fan. i don't even have a face anymore because it was melted away like those Nazis in Raiders Of the Lost Ark after having to witness last season.

i love Brett as much as the next football fan, but this shit is ridiculous. you just had one of the best seasons in your career, got your team to the NFC title game, and then for whatever reason called it quits. so now Green Bay is ready to move on. they've committed to their young QB. they even drafted another one just in case it doesn't work out. finally they don't have to deal with the endless offseason as Brett debates if he should come back or not. BUT NO! you couldn't just go quietly. now you're giving the Packers a little tease that maybe you wanna come back. it's all a very douchebaggy thing to do. granted the Packers are better off next season if Brett Favre is their qb over Aaron Rogers, but it's starting to get to that point when Green Bay is never gonna be able to move on if they don't do it now. the team is young and talented right now and they are in a weak division, so it's a perfect time to bring in the new QB and make the transition. if Brett does come back you almost would have to trade Aaron Rogers because it would just add unnecessary drama to their season. but then if that happens you're basically stuck with a 1st year player in Brian Brohm after this year. needless to say, the Packers will take him back...they fucking have to. but it's all slightly annoying.

on a related note: all the people who are talking about how sorry they feel for Aaron Rogers though need slow their roll. i think there was this guy named Steve Young who had to ride the pine behind some dude named Montana, and you Mr. Rogers are no Steve Young. besides, it's not like anybody was gonna take Rogers for their fantasy team anyways. so what the fuck should anybody really care? i just really get sick of having to listen to this story every fucking year.

Positive Vibes...errr Thursday, America! Fuck Yeah!

a tribute to Captain America. the original steroid user.

NCAA FOOTBALL 2009 is coming out July 17th

damn those graphics look awesome. it's so worth spending 400 bucks on a PS3 to see what Tim Tebow's head looks like when Trey Blackmon knocks his helmet off from an earth shattering sack in the SEC championship game.

so is dedicating part of my blog to covering my virtual season on NCAA 09 the dorkiest thing ever? yeah probably.

The Sound Of The U

"me so horny" by 2 live crew. you're welcome.

i had this tape in middle school and hid it from my parents. it's the first album i ever owned that made me feel like i was bad. Miami was so much more awesome at football when Luther Campbell was paying guys on the sidelines for big hits and touchdowns.

Biggest Douchebags in Sports...Besides Bonds and Vick

the first top 25 poll ranking douchebags in the world of sports, sports journalism, and sports entertainment. Bonds is off the list because he's a cheating asshole, not a douche. Mike Vick breaks my heart and is left off because he's in prison, so he's sort of irrelevant at this point. i no longer consider T.O. a douche, he is merely bi-polar and good at football. Pacman Jones isn't a douche...he's just stupid. if i left someone off that you despise feel free to comment.

1. Chris Berman (ruins everything he's a part of)
2. David Stern (smug asshole, fixer of games)
3. Curt Schilling (blowhard, bloody sock)
4. Jay Mariotti (whiner, blowhard, terrible writer, hated by his own town)
5. Hank Steinbrenner (blowhard, Yankee)
6. Keyshawn Johnson (asshole, ego maniac, bad interviewer)
7. Stuart Scott (retard, part of the ruining of sportscenter)
8. Roger Clemens (cheater, liar, total asshole)
9. Red Sox Nation (whiny for decades, now just annoying, also full of poseurs)
10. Tiger Woods (whiny, asshole, too fucking good to be liked)
11. Alex Rodriguez (choker, too perfect, possibly fucking Madonna, said he won't be part of the homerun derby at the All Star Game in his own park because it "might damage his swing"...what a fucking douche)
12. Stephen A. Smith (screams a lot, used to be some kind of journalist, had a bad tv show)
13. Chad Johnson (so sad to see Chad go from amusing to annoying as hell)
14. Jeremy Shockey (i don't think i need to explain why he's a douche. if you look at him, you just know)
15. Kobe Bryant (rapist, asshole, whiny)
16. Roger Goodell (fascist dictator of the NFL, made teams go play in England, covered up spy gate, needs to dial back on the suspending everyone for every little thing crap)
17. Colin Cowherd (blowhard, flip flops on everything, smug)
18. Gary Sheffield (moody asshole, cheater)
19. Mike Lupica (blowhard, only talks about things in new york, self righteous)
20. Sean Salsbury (retard, mediocre ex player and even more mediocre analyst)
21. Peyton Manning (robot)
22. Lance Armstrong (possibly a cheater, dates hot famous women, apparently an asshole)
23. Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso together (big 10 homers, annoying, talk out of their ass more than i do)
24. Joe Morgan (knows everything)
25. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver (everything that is wrong with Fox and their presentation of sporting events)

A Damn Good Dawg

indeed. Uga VI was buried yesterday at the stadium. i thought about going and watching from the bridge. but pet funerals are way sadder than those for humans and it's not okay for a grown man to cry in public.