Showing posts with label nerdy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nerdy. Show all posts

Friday, November 19, 2010

Well, They Can't Take Cam's Virtual Heisman Away


i just finished up my regular season on NCAA 2011 with Auburn by destroying the Florida Gators in the SEC Title Game (take that Urban Meyer) giving my virtual Tigers a perfect 13-0 record as they get ready for the BCS title game (vs. Oregon, no less. EA Sports Knows!!!). Virtual Cam is pretty much just as awesome as Real Life Cam...but with even more retarded stats. 3187 yards passing and 35 touchdown combined with 1725 yards rushing and 34 touchdowns (not to mention i had 20 touchdowns with Dyer and 11 with McCalebb).

Crushing opponents in a pretend reality has been a nice distraction from actual frightening reality. Now off to kill the Ducks and get started recruiting for next season.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Get Your Nerd Nostalgia On, Plus Help Some Poor Kids

Starting this week and running through the next 3, the WSLA will be showing the original Star Wars trilogy every Friday (and one Saturday) at Midnight for FREE. they are also gonna be collecting unwrapped toys for needy Athens kids. so come out and watch the greatest trilogy of all time before George Lucas fucked it all up with a bunch of digital garbage in the background.


Friday, July 24, 2009

Hey, LOST fans or people who like campy 60s TV shows

My friends Grape Soda wrote a theme song and made opening credits for LOST reimagined as a campy 60s action show

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Amazing


Plainsman Parking Lot writes an open letter to all our girlfriends to apologize for our obsession with NCAA Football 2010.

Monday, May 18, 2009

random Nerd humor

if you haven't seen Star Trek yet then you are missing out...although according to this you've probably already seen it anyways.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

NERDS + GAMBLING = HOLY SHIT

this was too obvious NOT to happen. apparently there's a secret world of underground Madden Gambling and shit can get violent.

this is what happens when kids get way to into THE WIRE.



please read and understand: YOU ARE NOT A GANGSTA. YOU ARE A NERD.

i should start my own underground NCAA Football 2009 League. you can't stop my Virtual Auburn Tigers where the Spread Eagle actually works and Kodi Burns owns Heismans (plural motherfucker).

Friday, May 8, 2009

Positive Vibes Friday: Japanese Spiderman


back in the 70s there was a Spiderman TV show in Japan and it is out of control. actually it's pretty much like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers but with Spiderman and lots of awesome 70s t-shirts.

Somebody needs to get me one of those 49ers shirts. the name of this episode is "Fearful Hit Tune! Song Dancing Murder Rock". JAPAN FUCKING RULES!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

MY 1000th POST!!!

who says i can't stick with anything?

sadly i've got nothing to write about today...i mean i'm glad the Hawks won the other night, but i don't actually believe they are gonna win this series...and as for the Braves, well they are part of the logjam of mediocrity that is the NL East. i've said plenty about the Falcons lately and Auburn is in the middle of their Limo Ride Recruiting Hunt 2009 and i've already said my peace on that as well. yeah we are about to hit a dead period and my brain is all out of thoughts today...so i'm gonna be lazy and recycle (for the earth).

so for my 1000th post i decided to just repost something i wrote when i first started this blog back in 2007. WHY CAPTAIN AMERICA IS TO BLAME FOR STEROID USE IN SPORTS.




in the growing age of controversey over athletes using performance enhancing drugs i think that it's time to stop the witch hunt and start looking at the source of this whole problem. it's time that we faced up to the fact that Captain America is the one to blame. i know that may not be a popular stance to take, especially in a time of war when many Americans feel the need to cling to symbols of freedom, honor, and the American Way...but facts are facts. Captain America is the original 'roider.

a brief history lesson for people who weren't nerds in middle school or are just unaware of popular culture: Captain America started off as a pretty normal guy. During World War II, a young Steve Rogers tried to enlist into the military, but was turned away due to his frail and sickly body. Steve Rogers was given another chance to serve his country though, as a General overheard his rejection and offered him a chance to fight the Nazis by being a part of a top-secret experiment. Steve agreed. He was given a super-solider serum and was blasted by radiation. After the process, Steves body was no longer sickly and frail but the pinnacle of human perfection. (in other words they gave the motherfucker steroids) Granted it was to fight the Nazis not crush 450 foot homers, but still he was running around kicking Nazi ass with some shrunken balls. and the US Government was totally complicit in the whole thing.

Flash forward to kids growing up in the 60s, 70's, and 80s with dreams of being heroes on the baseball diamond and so they start taking their own super serum. So yeah, basically Stan Lee and Marvel comics owe the fans of Major League baseball a big apology. Captain America needs to start running a disclaimer on the cover of every issue and a asterisk should be attached to all back issues that are ever reprinted. and the media needs to get off the backs of all the guys who were just doing what America's greatest superhero has been doing for the past 65 years...except for Barry Bonds. fuck that guy.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Another EA sports cover boy who isn't gonna play in the NFL


Brian Johnson is one of the cover athletes for EA's NCAA Football 2010. huh?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

ESPN is amazing at wasting time


so ESPN has unleashed on us a Mock Draft of the greatest NFL prospects of all time. John Elway tops their list (no surprise) and they've got 2 former Auburn players going in their fantasy 1st round with Bo Jackson at #7 overall and Aundray Bruce at #13. they do an entire mock 1st round and then included a Top 150 prospects Big Board. this is beyond dorky...and yet this is the sort of obsessive nerdy ass thing i would do if ESPN was paying me. i also like that this draft is based solely on what scouts thought about these players coming out of college and not what actually happened when they got to the NFL. so there's no Joe Montana's or Tom Brady's. so yeah, ESPN.com does something i actually enjoyed, way to go.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up And Become Directors Who Will In Turn Ruin Someone Else's Fond Memory Of Something

a rambling, half cocked, and pointless review/bitchfest/who fucking knows what that i wrote about Watchmen if you are interested.

just another in a long line of disappointments.

let's move on with our lives again.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Weekend Nerdfest aka Going To See The Watchmen Against My Better Judgement


WATCHMEN. it's out today. it's a movie that 15 years ago i would had a full-on nerd boner for but now i'm just expecting it to suck. Alan Moore is sending his negative energies straight Zack Snyder's way. it's still gonna get my 8 dollars.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

when's that shitty Watchmen movie coming out?


It's raining in Athens. This would've been the perfect weekend for a crappy movie based on my favorite comic book story of all time, that doesn't star the X Men or the cursing/fighting/speaking the "word of god" Jesse Custer (seriously that Preacher movie Sam Mendes wants to make better be awesome), to come out. the odds that Watchmen is any good have gotta be 40%. All the nerds who think that movie is gonna be half as good as The Dark Knight or Iron Man are fooling themselves.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Auburn Dynasty Mode, BCS TITLE GAME


it was a long season full of many spectacular beat downs but my Tigers have finally made it to the BCS title game, undefeated and ranked #1 in all the land. they face an undefeated and equally as impressive USC squad that features 2 1000 yard rushers and the top passer in the Pac 10, Mark Sanchez. But you know what? That don't mean shit to me cuz I killed those douchebags 38-0 and won the national championships. That's how my virtual Tigers roll.

This one was over before it even started. Mario Fannin took the opening kickoff 88 yards for a touchdown. But this game really belonged to my Qb Kodi Burns who threw for 300 yards and 3 tds while rushing for 99 yards and 2 more scores. Rod Smith hauled in 6 catches for 121 yards and 2 tds and my defensive MVP, Antonio Coleman got 3 sacks giving him an NCAA record 29 sacks on the season.

So I send Virtual Tuberville out a champion. 14-0 on the back of a dominant defense and an explosive spread offense. God, why can't reality be this sweet?


but hey real life Auburn has Spread Eagle 2 to look forward to...and Antonio Coleman is coming back!!! which is aweseome.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Auburn Dynasty Mode, SEC Title Game

oh what might have been if reality and fantasy weren't mutually exclusive...or if Auburn had an offense like Oklahoma does. reality is for suckers and i've got no time for it right now. it's too depressing.

and so the fantastical world of NCAA 2009 carries on even if the season is already over for my real Auburn Tigers. these video game versions are undefeated with an explosive offense, an unstoppable defense, a Heisman candidate at QB, and a number 2 ranking in the polls. they rolled through the regular season destroying most of their competition and now face off against the top ranked Florida Gators in an SEC title game for the video game ages.

the first order of business for my virtual Tigers will be trying to shutdown Tim Tebow & Percy Harvin who are the two best players on NCAA09 with 99 player ratings each. Harvin is faster than any of my defensive backs and he can score anytime he touches the ball. Tebow is faster on the game than he is in real life and can turn any run into a 20 yard gain if my linebackers aren't ready for it. trying to stop these two is going to be the hardest test my top rated defense has faced all season.


from the get go this game was close. i traded touchdowns back and forth throughout the first half. Kodi Burns opened the game with a 70 yard strike to Mario Fannin. but Florida matched that score with a kick return touchdown from Jeff Demps. i got the running game going on my next drive and Kodi Burns and Ben Tate each rushed for 30+ runs before Tate took it in for a score bringing the lead to 14-7. Florida again countered with a touchdown pass from Tebow to Harvin(surprise) and then we traded another touchdown and field goal bringing the score to a 24-24 tie at the end of the first half. it looked like this might be the hardest challenge i'd faced and my chances at a national title could be in jeopardy....but then the 2nd half started and the Auburn defense showed the Gators no mercy.

it was sack city all second half long as Antonio Coleman single handily crushed Florida's chances with 5 tackles for loss and 3 second half sacks, with the 3rd one knocking Tebow out of the game with a concussion. after that the Gators were forced to bring in backup QB John Brantley and without the threat of a running QB it was pretty much over.


Auburn rolled in the second half and crushed the Gators 52-24 and claiming the SEC title as well as a spot in the BCS title game.

final offensive stats for the game:
Kodi Burns passed for 402 yards and 3 touchdowns and rushed for 57 yards and 1 td.
Ben Tate rushed for 149 yards and 2 tds.
Mario Fannin had 162 yards receiving and 2 touchdowns as well as 62 yards rushing a 1 td.
Rod Smith hauled in 109 yards receiving a 1 td.
Tommy Trott had 4 receptions for 71 yards.

Award winners for my 2008 Auburn Tigers.

Kodi Burns stats for the season were 3257 yards passing with 33 tds and 15 ints. his completion percentage was 60%. he lead the team with 1017 yards rushing at 8.8 per attempt and scored an SEC best 16 times on the ground. he was named 1st team SEC and 2nd team All American. he finished 3rd in the Heisman race behind Graham Harrell who lead the nation with 61 touchdowns and Jeremy Maclin who had over 2,000 all purpose yards and 30 touchdowns.

Antonio Coleman was the winner of the Lombardi trophy and broke the NCAA record with 28 sacks for the year. he was 1st team ALL SEC and ALL American.

Wes Byrum was the Groza winner and 1st team SEC and All American.

Robert Dunn was voted returner of the year with 4 punt return tds. he was also 2nd team All American.

John Bosley was the Rimmington winner and an All American.

other All SEC players were Lee Ziemba, Ryan Pugh, Mario Fannin and Tommy Trott for the offense and Sen'Derrick Marks, Zac Etheridge, and Chris Evans for the defense.

up next: The BCS title game vs. USC

who says the spread offense can't work in the SEC.

with results like these, Auburn might wanna go ahead and add me to the list if people they are interviewing.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Auburn Dynasty Mode, Iron Bowl REVENGE!!!


as the Auburn Football nation crumbles around behind me i find that i must retreat again into the fantasy world of my NCAA Football 2009 Dynasty season. Auburn is 11-0, ranked #3 in the nation, has a Heisman candidate in QB Kodi Burns, is #1 in the nation in both offense and defense, and is 1 game away from facing off against the an undefeated Florida Gators team for a shot at #1 ranked USC in the BCS title....but first it's a battle for the SEC West title as Auburn must travel to 10-1 and #7 ranked Alabama.

if only reality were this fucking awesome.

Auburn ROLLS the Crimson Tide 42-0 in the biggest beatdown i've given a ranked team all season. Auburn racked up over 400 yards on the ground and 200 through the air...but this game belonged to my top ranked defense. John Parker Wilson was sacked 9 times and intercepted 3 times. All-American and Defensive Player of the year candidate Antonio Coleman sacked Wilson 4 times himself, 1 of those causing a fumble the was then returned for a touchdown. Sen'Derrick Marks added 2 sacks of his own and a blocked punt.

sometimes destroying another team through a video game makes you feel a little bit better for about 10 minutes...but not really.

Heisman hopeful Kodi Burns finished with 209 yards passing a 1 touchdown with another 103 yards rushing and a score. Auburn finishes the regular season undefeated and will be heading the SEC title game.

honestly i don't see how the Spread Eagle didn't work...

just kidding.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Auburn Dynasty Mode, Week 12


another loss for Auburn in reality that i must make up for in my imaginary world of video game dominance. a world where Kodi Burns is a Heisman candidate and the Spread Eagle offense not only works, it's the best damn offense in the country (or at least top 5).

Week 12 finds my Tigers ranked #3 in the country, undefeated and facing a 1 loss Georgia Bulldog squad ranked #9 in the nation and looking to get back into the BCS picture. This one was close for about 1 possession. cuz that's all it took Kodi Burns to hit Rod Smith for an 80 yard bomb and take a 7-0 lead. from that point on the Tigers completely dominated both sides of the ball and cruised to a 41-17 win.

Burns continued his Heisman campaign with 3 passing touchdowns and 1 rushing score and over a 100 plus yards both rushing and passing. Rod Smith hauled in 4 catches for 116 yards and 2 touchdowns and Ben Tate added 66 yards and 1 rushing score of his own.

the defense held Knowshon Moreno to just 17 yards rushing on 14 carries and sacked Matt Stafford 4 times and intercepted him twice.

so Auburn sits 11-0 in my Dynasty Season with only a 1 loss Alabama team standing in their way of the SEC title game.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Auburn Dynasty Mode, Week 11


Auburn takes their undefeated record back home to host Tennessee-Martin for Homecoming. this one was over before kickoff. Auburn scored on the first play of the game with an 85 yard touchdown run by Tristan Davis. they then caused a fumble on the kickoff to TN-Martin and that set up a 30 yard touchdown scramble by Kodi Burns and before a full minute had even gone off the clock Auburn was up 14-0...if only real football was this easy for my Tigers.

Kodi Burns lit up the Skyhawks for 285 yards passing and 4 touchdowns. he added another 108 yards and 1 score on the ground launching himself back into the Heisman race. even the backups got into the passing attack as Chris Todd added 2 touchdown passes of his own and Neal Caudle came in late in the 4th and threw a td to Robert Dunn.

Robert Dunn was the real star of the game with 229 yards receiving and 4 touchdowns plus a punt return for a touchdown (giving him 4 on the season). the Auburn ground game was pretty lethal as well combining for 306 yards total and touchdowns scored by Tristan Davis (1), Mario Fannin (2), & Brad Lester (2).

The defense was as dominate as ever with 8 team sacks, 3 forced fumbles, and 1 interception. they held TN-Martin to 55 total yards of offense with 80 yards passing and -25 yards rushing on 24 attempts. Josh Bynes lead the team in tackles with 8 and 2 sacks.

Auburn is now 10-0 and ranked #4 nationally. up next is UGA.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Auburn Dynasty Mode, Week 10


Another game in my Dynasty Mode, another blowout. Auburn destroys Ole Miss 55 to 0. it's all about the rushing attack.

Brad Lester 161 yards 2 tds
Ben Tate 100 yards 1 td
Tristan Davis 100 yards 1 td

Kodi Burns has a productive game with 163 yards passing and 3 tds but also threw 2 picks and fumbled the ball away once. he rushed for another 43 yards and scored a rushing touchdown. he's currently 5th in Heisman voting.

The Defense was it's typical aggressive self racking up 9 sacks and 2 ints. Antonio Coleman leading the way with 2 sacks (18 for the season).