R.I.P. Braves Baseball 2012

Chipper, you deserved better than this...but in your final game as a major leaguer you were more or less  one of the reason Atlanta lost this bullshit one-and-done/let's try to capitalize off the excitement of last year's 1 game playoff play-in/the regular season is now fucking meaningless/ Wild Card game.

facts: he went hitless (that last hit in the bottom of the 9th was a total gift from the ump and the official scorer...Chipper didn't beat the throw and if he did it was an error) and worst of all his error in the 4th is what sent Atlanta spiraling down. at that point in the game the Braves were rolling, Medlen was looking like his magical unhittable self and then Chipper overthrows Uggla and sends one into the outfield and the next thing you know that 2-0 lead is a fucking 3-2 hole. then in the bottom of the 4th with the Braves looking like they were ready to rally back, the Frediot decides to have Simmons fucking try and bunt home Freeman (who didn't even bother to run) and gets called out on interference and Medlen comes up and strikes out and it was at that moment you kinda knew in your heart that the this shit was over and the Braves had choked away a game they should've won.

unfortunately it wasn't just the 4th inning that was full of fuckups because the best fielding team in the National League turned into my 12 year old Little League squad and decided to cough up 2 more costly errors that helped the Cards gain a 6-3 lead that just sank the hopes of even the most faithful of Braves fans. i felt really bad for Medlen. he pitched an excellent game for the most part and i think if that Chipper error in the 4th doesn't happen then he would've kept mowing down Cards until the 7th inning the then the bullpen would've taken care of the rest.

of course the delusional Braves fan is gonna hang this whole loss on THE WORST CALL I HAVE EVER SEEN AN UMPIRE MAKE IN A MOTHERFUCKING PLAYOFF GAME IN MY LIFE!!! on the infield fly rule WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME in the 8th...which ended up turning Turner Field into the set of a WWE event (and observation made by most of my friends on twitter that i have to agree with). whoever says the people in Atlanta don't care about their sports teams will forever be reminded that our drunk redneck fans care a lot.... enough to delay the game for 20 minutes by throwing trash on the field and maybe possibly killing Atlanta's chances at a comeback. but whatever, we will never know.  i'm honestly mixed on how i feel about it all. i am glad Atlanta fans showed some fucking emotion but then again they look like jackasses. i mean shit, it was like we were Phillies fans suddenly. Atlanta wanted some blood. i was half hoping that there was gonna be a riot after the game. Burn Atlanta Again! it needs to be rebuilt anyways. but yeah as much as that single play sucked, the Braves still had chances to get back into the game. that bad call didn't make Michael Bourn strike out with the bases loaded. it didn't make the Braves strand like 8 million base runners over the course of the game. THEY HAD 12 FUCKING HITS AND SCORED 3 GODDAMN COCKSUCKING RUNS!!!! one bad call didn't blow this game. one bad call it didn't turn Chipper into a bottomless pit of suck. fans will always remember that bad call forever until the end of time...but the Braves are the reason the Braves didn't win.

and so Atlanta's playoff run enda the way Atlanta playoff runs always end, when not playing the Cleveland Indians, with another loss. a crushing, soul destoying, heartbreaking loss. and the career of the greatest Atlanta Brave (Hank Aaron doesn't count cuz he didn't play most of his career in the ATL) of all time ends with him exclaiming he was the one to blame for the loss. it just isn't fair. and it's just another moment in Atlanta sports history that makes me believe that if God exists and he gives a shit about sports he sure as fuck hates Atlanta....just not as much as he hates Cleveland.

and finally i would like to announce that i will be following Chipper Jones' lead as i too will be retiring from Braves baseball. i'm just not as young as i used to be and my knees can't take it anymore and my heart is done with being broken. if i need something to make me feel like a miserable loser i will always have Auburn football for that. if i feel the need to suffer along with some stupid fucking team from Atlanta that is gonna let me down in a a big game, well that's what the Falcons are for. the Braves are the only damn thing that even makes me waste time caring about stupid baseball and at some point in your life you just gotta quit things that are bad for you cold turkey. obviously i am gonna relapse and when opening day rolls around next year i will be tuning in...just hoping that this might be the season Atlanta finds their way back to another World Series title. knowing deep down that it ain't even happening again. and so it goes.

Goodbye 2012 Braves. you were a fun team to root for. i will miss you. Goodbye Chipper Jones, you were the fucking best.

fucking Braves

fire Fredi. throw Lowe in the trash. burn down Atlanta again.

at least the fucking Red Sox lost...that way we will never ever hear about the Braves choking ever again.

Falcons still the Falcons

Just when I was feeling all high on my Auburn Tigers BCS title, I can always count on the Atlanta Falcons to bring me back to Earth.

That was fucking depressing.

BOOOOOOOOOOO

Seriously, you got outscored over 25 points a game IN THE 2ND ROUND OF THE PLAYOFFS!

It's time for some changes on this team because the 2nd round is as far as this collection of players will ever make it. So I say Atlanta should just let Joe Johnson go his shit talking way (esp considering Crawford outplayed him the entire playoffs) and the Hawks add some legit players to the bench. Josh Smith and Horford and Crawford are the only 3 players i'd say are untouchable...and the rest of the roster needs a serious shake up.

But the sad truth is that Atlanta (which in all honesty SHOULD be a huge NBA town with the social and racial makeup of the city) just isn't a place players give a shit about playing. Oh well. This might be the end of the line for this short lived run of respectability for the Hawks.

i am breaking up with the Hawks and Braves

Baseball and Basketball are now useless to me. I should just use the offseason for football to just take a break from sports period. There is really only so much disappointment I can tolerate during a year.

Atlanta, You're Fucking Out!

well at this point in the season the Braves look pretty good and fucked. i think it's about time they brought Kenny Powers back to help this team pull their heads out of their asses.

any thoughts on the matter Mr. Powers?

maybe not.

so much for ATL optimism

So the Hawks are about to get bounced in the 1st round by the lousy Bucks and the Braves have been playing like total dogshit. The Falcons drafted a bunch of stiffs and will probably go 5-11. I hate being an Atlanta Sports fan.

FUCK YOU TURF TOE!!!

Turf Toe!!! say it ain't so.

you know what that means:

Matt Ryan is probably done for the rest of the year.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, why do you hate my Atlanta Falcons so much? is it all the booty music?

goddamncockfacedmotherfuckingpieceofshit!

BRAVES r the SUCK

I'm sorry, did I get sucked into some time portal that took me back in time to the mid 80s when the Braves were the worst fucking team in baseball? No...that can't be, because I'm using the internets. So what the fuck is going on? How does a team that dominated it's division for 15 years turn into a clueless franchise in just 3 short years? The answer....there is no one single answer. Call it a combination of a limited payroll, bad front office moves, a lack of talent in the organization, our old reliable pitchers all moved on, and nobody will fire Bobby Cox. Sometimes life is just a bitch.

The Braves are about to embark on a stretch of games where they'll face the Redsox, Yankees, & Phillies...after that they should be dead and buried. Fuck it! Fire Bobby Cox, trade everyone not named Tommy Hanson, & feed Frank Wren to a pack of wild dogs for assembling this flaming pile of suck.

Who would've ever guessed that of Atlanta's 3 big teams that The Braves would be the biggest trainwreck? (I have heard rumors of a hockey team in the ATL but that can't be true because noone knows what hockey is in the South).

Peace Out Hawks

1st off a big hand to the 2008/2009 Atlanta Hawks for completely surprising me and becoming a totally respectable NBA team. They improved by 10 games, nabbed the 4th spot in the East, and then did something no Atlanta team has done in a while, win a playoff series and advance to the 2nd round. So Yay! Way to go Hawks.

But now for the reality check: Atlanta is pretty much at the peak for this current roster...and they're not guaranteed to keep their spot next season. The Bulls are coming up. The Heat will be better as Beasley gets better. The Celtics are old, but they will still be better than the Hawks next season. Obviously Orlando and Cleveland are going to be better. And then there's no doubt in my mind the Sixers could jump the Hawks as well as some young improving team like the Bobcats. Last season was crucial for the future of this franchise...but this one might make or break them.


First things first, the Hawks need to fire Mike Woodson. This team improved in spite of him, not because. Atlanta has no offense, they don't play solid defense on a consistent basis, Woodson doesn't make adjustments, and his players don't like him. Thanks for the memories but it's time for you to pack your bags and go. Atlanta is in the Eastern conference, they need a defensive minded headcoach. That's what the Cavs and Celtics are. The Magic play solid enough defense because of Dwight Howard. The Pistons were able to dominate in the East for years because of their D. If Atlanta ever wants to make it to the promised land they've got to become a team that shuts people down. Mike Woodson ain't the guy for that.


Secondly Atlanta needs to look at Josh Smith and realize that he's a talented young player with some upside who can be a fan favorite and a star and the best asset they've got and then trade his ass away for someone who can either shoot the lights out or rebound and play defense. I'd love for the Hawks to send him to Denver in exchange for Birdman and some cap space. Or for a guy who can come off the bench and light it up. J Smooth just isn't the player the Hawks need him to be. He's immature and selfish and not a leader and he whines too much and shoots to many fucking 3s and doesn't understand how to play power forward. And his teammates don't really like him. I really wish Josh Childress had stayed last season and Smith had left town. The Hawks need to get rid of him now while he's still got a lot of value on the market.


Third thing is that Atlanta needs a real point guard. Bibby was solid this year and I like the guy, but he's old and he's still a shoot first PG...and that's not what this team needs. We need a leader, a passer, and a lockdown defender at the point. I don't care who you get, if it's through the draft or free agency, but this has been the team's biggest need for years.


And finally the Hawks need to add another player who can help Joe Johnson out...or better yet a guy who can lead this team and Joe Johnson can help him out. It became painfully obvious in these playoffs that Joe just isn't a superstar who can lead his team far. He's a great #2 but he's just not a #1 franchise guy. Either Atlanta needs to add another solid #2 player that turns the Hawks into a two man team or they just need to go for broke and pay the best superstar available to come to town and make him the franchise. Either way Joe can.'t do it alone. Johnson, Williams, Horford, and Zaza are all nice pieces to build around but the Hawks are gonna need a major facelift if they want to make it to the next level.

don't take it personal guys. it's just strictly business.


Okay, enough Hawks talk for months. Seriously I've written more about this team over the last month than I have the previous 3 years. Back to football...

The Hawks Are Done

the Atlanta Hawks and i are both currently scorched. me by the power of the almighty god Sun Ra after spending a weekend at the lake. and the Hawks by the almighty god of basketball, Lebron. i'm not even gonna bother checking out game 4. i'll be watching Gossip Girl and then going to see Star Trek instead.

top 3 things i'd like to see the Hawks do to improve the team for next year.

1. FIRE MIKE WOODSON!!!

2. trade Josh Smith for a shooter who can help out Joe Johnson.

3. sign a star or a leader that can take this team to the next level. right now they are maxing out at their potential.

Doing My Part To Inspire The Hawks Tonight

saw this on a friend's facebook profile...instantly had my mind melted away.

T.I., Luda, & Usher need to get on the remake tip & give our 09 Hawks an updated version of this.

The Revenge of Wade

i guess it was too much to ask for the Hawks to end this series in game 6. another ugly effort. another blow out. another example of the fact Josh Smith is an immature kid and is a long way from ever being a leader.

so this sets us up for a Game 7 in the ATL. do or die boys, do or die.

Braves get swept by the Fish

so much for all that optimism i had last week.

so the Braves are now 5-4 and the Marlins are 8-1. damn it! it was bad enough having to worry about the Phillies and the Mets...looks like the Braves could be having another 70 win season.

3 things i learned this past week...

1. much like in the 90s, the Braves' bullpen is the SUCK. Atlanta might as well move one of their starters back to the pen and call up Tommy Hanson now.

2. Garrett Anderson doesn't wanna be in Atlanta and he's not gonna produce this year, they should've spent that money on a closer and just went with Matt Diaz.

3. Jordan Shafer needs to be hitting higher in the lineup.

ALSO: i heard on the radio that Tom Glavine hit another setback in his attempt to pitch this season. his shoulder is causing him a ton of pain and it's looking more and more like he's going to retire soon.

Braves on their way towards 162-0 season

I could get used to this whole beating the Phillies thing. It's amazing what not having a pitching staff with a combined age of 400 can do for your teams ability to look like a potential playoff team. (Fingers crossed) But the Braves look pretty fucking good after two dominant performances against one of the NL's supposed top teams and the defending World Series champs. I mean yes, I know I should slow my roll cuz it's 2 fucking games...you can call me excited and overly optimistic, but I believe in this year's Atlanta team. The pitching seems solid enough, the lineup has a nice mix of youth and veterans, and Atlanta seems to have some of there old swagger back. With The Hawks doing well, the Falcons showing the promise of becoming one of the NFC's best young teams, and now the Braves possibly reemerging...well the ATL might finally be shedding it's bullshit label as a bad pro sports town.

Now prepare yourself for the Hawks to get swept in the 1st round, the Braves to get hit with major injuries and a long losing streak that kills their season before June, and Matt Ryan to develop a drug problem. This is what I've come to expect as fans of these teams. Whatever, i'd trade all the ATL misery in the world for Spread Eagle 2 to bring Auburn to the promised land...come on world, you fucking owe me.

Does Anyone Want To Play For The Braves?

hey remember that random excitement i had for Braves baseball with the news that Ken Griffey Jr. was coming to town? yeah well fuck it! it isn't happening.

Can the Braves just fire Frank Wren right now? i mean honestly losing out on Griffey to his first team the Mariners isn't really that upsetting, but when Atlanta has done virtually NOTHING to improve possibly the WORST FUCKING OUTFIELD in baseball and they've been turned down by nearly every single free agent that they've gone after...well it's just enough to make me lose my fucking mind. good thing i don't care about baseball anymore.

and as far as Griffey going back to Seatle...dude? that's like gettin back together with your girlfriend from highschool at 30...it's just sad. she's not as cute as you remember and she likes Grey's Anatomy and you are totally an It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia kind of guy. plus she still sucks at doin' it...just sayin'.

Griffey choo-choo-chooses Atlanta

Hey, at least someone wants to be a Brave besides just Tom Glavine. Griffey Jr announced that he's coming to the ATL which just made the 300 die hard Braves fans who live in Metro Atlanta happy. Actually I feel like a douche for making the tired old "they don't have any fans joke". Atlanta has tons of fans, hell Nike did a study (or maybe it was MLB who knows) and the Braves were ranked the 3rd most popular franchise in baseball, ahead of every douchebag bandwagon jumper who doesn't really care about baseball's favorite team The Boston Fucking Redsox. Sadly none of those Braves fans live in Atlanta because it's a haven for SEC alumni who don't like baseball because it cuts into college football time and then assholes from the North and Midwest who love the Mets and Cubs.

Okay, sorry for that rant. Who am I fooling though? I could care less about Atlanta anymore either, I soured on baseball years ago and the 'roid shit had just made it worse. Still Ken Griffey Jr. Was my favorite non-Braves/non-Bo Jackson baseball player of all time and that snot nosed kid who still lives inside me is gonna make it out to see Junior play next season in his Braves' Navy & Red and will be excited to do so.

Griffey Coming to the Braves?

he can't actually do this anymore. just so you know.

Considering Atlanta's failure to land any talent this offseason it seems doubtful that Jr. will be calling Atlanta his home next season, but regardless ESPN is saying there is a good chance it could happen. So does adding Griffey make the Braves any less irrelevant than they already are? Not really. It does get your average sports fan who quit paying attention to Baseball in 1998 excited, and that largely sums up the Braves' fanbase. Besides, haven't you heard, the 90s are back. If Junior comes to the ATL then I'll bust out my flannel shirts and Soundgarden records and make it out to the Ted a couple of times to see him play, hopefully before he goes down with an injury and misses 90 games.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Say It Ain't So! John Smoltz is about to become a member of the Red Sox.

and i'm about to use so much profanity that small children everywhere will cry.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Not the GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING PIECE OF SHIT WHINY ASS ESPN ENDORSED BOSTON FUCKING REDSOX.

seriously i'd rather him become a fucking Yankee. at least with the Yankees he's just another old overpaid guy past his prime taking up a roster spot and collecting a check. BUT THE REDSOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

i'm beyond depressed about this. John Smoltz is my favorite Brave of all time, even more than Dale Murphy. this crushes me. and to the REDSOX whom i loathe more than any organization in professional sports. well it's 100% official now. the Braves are fucking dead to me. they can't even resign players who have spent their ENTIRE careers with the club. yeah i know he's old...but Damn it! it's John Smoltz. Smoltz Heat can't pitch for Boston. i hate baseball.

This sucks. Fuck You Boston! i hope Tom Brady never plays again (not that you assholes really give a shit about football anyways). i hope Lebron destroys the Celtics in the playoffs. i hope the Yankees run away with the American League East next season and you douchebags are sitting at home.

shit fuck shit

Good season Atlanta........

...But this game was some horseshit. How fitting was it that Keith Brooking killed us with that blown coverage? Fuck his sorry old cracker ass. Cut him now and leave him in Arizona for the coyotes to feast upon.

FUCK!!!!!!

Still a great season. I believe in this team (minus Brooking) and the future looks very bright. That being said these are the Falcons and that means anything horrible is possible. Goddamn it.