R.I.P. Braves Baseball 2012

Chipper, you deserved better than this...but in your final game as a major leaguer you were more or less  one of the reason Atlanta lost this bullshit one-and-done/let's try to capitalize off the excitement of last year's 1 game playoff play-in/the regular season is now fucking meaningless/ Wild Card game.

facts: he went hitless (that last hit in the bottom of the 9th was a total gift from the ump and the official scorer...Chipper didn't beat the throw and if he did it was an error) and worst of all his error in the 4th is what sent Atlanta spiraling down. at that point in the game the Braves were rolling, Medlen was looking like his magical unhittable self and then Chipper overthrows Uggla and sends one into the outfield and the next thing you know that 2-0 lead is a fucking 3-2 hole. then in the bottom of the 4th with the Braves looking like they were ready to rally back, the Frediot decides to have Simmons fucking try and bunt home Freeman (who didn't even bother to run) and gets called out on interference and Medlen comes up and strikes out and it was at that moment you kinda knew in your heart that the this shit was over and the Braves had choked away a game they should've won.

unfortunately it wasn't just the 4th inning that was full of fuckups because the best fielding team in the National League turned into my 12 year old Little League squad and decided to cough up 2 more costly errors that helped the Cards gain a 6-3 lead that just sank the hopes of even the most faithful of Braves fans. i felt really bad for Medlen. he pitched an excellent game for the most part and i think if that Chipper error in the 4th doesn't happen then he would've kept mowing down Cards until the 7th inning the then the bullpen would've taken care of the rest.

of course the delusional Braves fan is gonna hang this whole loss on THE WORST CALL I HAVE EVER SEEN AN UMPIRE MAKE IN A MOTHERFUCKING PLAYOFF GAME IN MY LIFE!!! on the infield fly rule WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME in the 8th...which ended up turning Turner Field into the set of a WWE event (and observation made by most of my friends on twitter that i have to agree with). whoever says the people in Atlanta don't care about their sports teams will forever be reminded that our drunk redneck fans care a lot.... enough to delay the game for 20 minutes by throwing trash on the field and maybe possibly killing Atlanta's chances at a comeback. but whatever, we will never know.  i'm honestly mixed on how i feel about it all. i am glad Atlanta fans showed some fucking emotion but then again they look like jackasses. i mean shit, it was like we were Phillies fans suddenly. Atlanta wanted some blood. i was half hoping that there was gonna be a riot after the game. Burn Atlanta Again! it needs to be rebuilt anyways. but yeah as much as that single play sucked, the Braves still had chances to get back into the game. that bad call didn't make Michael Bourn strike out with the bases loaded. it didn't make the Braves strand like 8 million base runners over the course of the game. THEY HAD 12 FUCKING HITS AND SCORED 3 GODDAMN COCKSUCKING RUNS!!!! one bad call didn't blow this game. one bad call it didn't turn Chipper into a bottomless pit of suck. fans will always remember that bad call forever until the end of time...but the Braves are the reason the Braves didn't win.

and so Atlanta's playoff run enda the way Atlanta playoff runs always end, when not playing the Cleveland Indians, with another loss. a crushing, soul destoying, heartbreaking loss. and the career of the greatest Atlanta Brave (Hank Aaron doesn't count cuz he didn't play most of his career in the ATL) of all time ends with him exclaiming he was the one to blame for the loss. it just isn't fair. and it's just another moment in Atlanta sports history that makes me believe that if God exists and he gives a shit about sports he sure as fuck hates Atlanta....just not as much as he hates Cleveland.

and finally i would like to announce that i will be following Chipper Jones' lead as i too will be retiring from Braves baseball. i'm just not as young as i used to be and my knees can't take it anymore and my heart is done with being broken. if i need something to make me feel like a miserable loser i will always have Auburn football for that. if i feel the need to suffer along with some stupid fucking team from Atlanta that is gonna let me down in a a big game, well that's what the Falcons are for. the Braves are the only damn thing that even makes me waste time caring about stupid baseball and at some point in your life you just gotta quit things that are bad for you cold turkey. obviously i am gonna relapse and when opening day rolls around next year i will be tuning in...just hoping that this might be the season Atlanta finds their way back to another World Series title. knowing deep down that it ain't even happening again. and so it goes.

Goodbye 2012 Braves. you were a fun team to root for. i will miss you. Goodbye Chipper Jones, you were the fucking best.

fucking Braves

fire Fredi. throw Lowe in the trash. burn down Atlanta again.

at least the fucking Red Sox lost...that way we will never ever hear about the Braves choking ever again.

Atlanta, You're Fucking Out!

well at this point in the season the Braves look pretty good and fucked. i think it's about time they brought Kenny Powers back to help this team pull their heads out of their asses.

any thoughts on the matter Mr. Powers?

maybe not.

BASEBALL, they're still doing that?

Pedro vs. Petite? what fucking year is this?

baseball = a thing i used to love that was ruined over the course of 15 years or so because of the strike, the whole roids thing...not the actual taking of steroids...but the coverage of it, and the media obsession with the the Yankees and Red Sox rivalry. if it wasn't for some strange since of loyalty i have for the Atlanta Braves (who at a time in my life were the only team that mattered to me...this includes you Auburn) i'd pretty just ignore it all together. sometimes i wish that they'd have another strike and it would kill the old bloated beast for good.

my thoughts on the umpire controversy

Who gives a shit?

Baseball sucks. Only yankees and old people watch that bullshit anyways.

The records are meaningless now and the season lasts too fucking long. Cut 20 games off the schedule and retract 4 teams and maybe I'll care again...either that or the Braves need to win again...that would also work for me.

What I Learned During the 09 All Star Game

While watching the Allstar game on Tuesday I realized something...baseball is dead to me.

I don't know anything about baseball outside of the Atlanta Braves, and even that is spotty at best. I didn't know just as many guys who were playing as did. In the past this would've been a sin for me, now it just tells me 2 things: 1, baseball is having a generational changeover right now and most of the stars from the 90s and early 2000s are retiring/ getting exposed for steroid abuse/ turning into marginal bit players. And 2, I could really give a fuck about baseball anymore because of ESPN's constant northeastern bias to all thing YANKS/SOX and also Mets and Phillies to the point that I never watch even a second of Baseball Tonight (a show I worshipped as a teen) and never watch a televised baseball game that does not involve Atlanta.

And so it has become official: baseball, the sport I played from 6-16 and loved even longer...the thing is obsessed over as a kid even more than Auburn football or comic books has become a sport I know nothing about and care even less. The NFL, College Football, March Madness, the NBA, & Ninja Warrior (the show on Spike TV where lil' Japanese dudes try to make it through an obstacle course) are all sports i'd rather watch than a Major League Baseball game.

And so it goes.

BRAVES r the SUCK

I'm sorry, did I get sucked into some time portal that took me back in time to the mid 80s when the Braves were the worst fucking team in baseball? No...that can't be, because I'm using the internets. So what the fuck is going on? How does a team that dominated it's division for 15 years turn into a clueless franchise in just 3 short years? The answer....there is no one single answer. Call it a combination of a limited payroll, bad front office moves, a lack of talent in the organization, our old reliable pitchers all moved on, and nobody will fire Bobby Cox. Sometimes life is just a bitch.

The Braves are about to embark on a stretch of games where they'll face the Redsox, Yankees, & Phillies...after that they should be dead and buried. Fuck it! Fire Bobby Cox, trade everyone not named Tommy Hanson, & feed Frank Wren to a pack of wild dogs for assembling this flaming pile of suck.

Who would've ever guessed that of Atlanta's 3 big teams that The Braves would be the biggest trainwreck? (I have heard rumors of a hockey team in the ATL but that can't be true because noone knows what hockey is in the South).

Manny & A.Rod R Cheatin' Douchebags, Just LIke Everybody Else

Manny is getting a 50 game suspension for failing a drugtest. excuse me for a second...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

so do you still consider him the greatest right handed hitter of all time, Northeastern Sportwriters?


fuck baseball.

at this rate noone is ever gonna get into the hall of fame ever again.

Dear Atlanta Bullpen,

FUCK YOU!

Love,

Justin

Does Anyone Want To Play For The Braves?

hey remember that random excitement i had for Braves baseball with the news that Ken Griffey Jr. was coming to town? yeah well fuck it! it isn't happening.

Can the Braves just fire Frank Wren right now? i mean honestly losing out on Griffey to his first team the Mariners isn't really that upsetting, but when Atlanta has done virtually NOTHING to improve possibly the WORST FUCKING OUTFIELD in baseball and they've been turned down by nearly every single free agent that they've gone after...well it's just enough to make me lose my fucking mind. good thing i don't care about baseball anymore.

and as far as Griffey going back to Seatle...dude? that's like gettin back together with your girlfriend from highschool at 30...it's just sad. she's not as cute as you remember and she likes Grey's Anatomy and you are totally an It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia kind of guy. plus she still sucks at doin' it...just sayin'.

my thoughts on the whole A Rod/ Steroids thing

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Oh baseball. You stupid old whore. It's all over, like Alternative rock and American supremacy. Fuck it dude, we've got football, so who gives a shit?

That being said...keep the government away from the damn NFL and you fucking do-gooder self righteous sportswriters need to keep your noses out of what goes on in the "real" American sport. Baseball has fucked itself beyond repair, don't ruin football for us too. Do I think the NFL is full of HGH abusing freaks? Yell yes. But ya know what, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!

My favorite irony in all of this is the fact that The Texas Rangers are the ground zero of the steroid era with Canseco, Sosa, Palmeiro, Juan Gonzalez. Pudge Rodriguez, & A Rod all having their names linked to 'roids. Hey, remind me which former US President used to be part owner of that same team and got this whole steroid witch hunt started in the first place. I mean I know he couldn't ever find any WMDs but you'd think he might've been able to figure out half his team was on the juice back in the 90s.

Jose Canseco really needs to write a new book called "Hey Major League Baseball, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes".