Vintage Barkley

Chuck with an Eagle (he probably thinks it's a hawk).

Chuck gettin' ready to ball out for the Tigers.

these picture remind me that Auburn is currently involved in some sport called Basketball? is this correct?

My First and Most Likely Last Auburn Basketball Recruiting Post

so Auburn landed one Shawn Kemp Jr. today. yeah, son of THIS Shawn Kemp:


let's hope Junior is half as good at dunking and being awesome as his dad. let's also hope he doesn't leave as many babies in his wake as the elder Kemp.

The Best Use Of Basketball and R&B Together, EVER

it's rare that you even see a video anymore and when said video melts your brain...or other things...well it needs to be shared.



i already know what my top pick for video of the year in 2009 is gonna be.

Hawks doing some dealing before the Draft

The Hawks and Golden State Warriors are set to trade for Jamal Crawford in exchange for Acie Law and Speedy Claxton. Crawford would more than likely mean the end of any possible deal to bring Mike Bibby back to Atlanta...or that's my guess. it also ends Acie Law's chances of becoming the future point guard for Atlanta.

Crawford is a nice piece player (averaged 19.7 ppg and 4.4 assists) but he isn't a true point guard. it does give the Hawks another scorer to go with Joe Johnson, but i don't see this as a move that greatly improves Atlanta's chances...also Crawford was once a Knick...which makes him tainted in my eyes for all time. i'm still hoping for them to package either their draft pick and another player (say Marvin Williams) and move up in the first round...or what i really would like to see is for them to deal Josh Smith for some bench help and make a play for a big name free agent.

Peace Out Hawks

1st off a big hand to the 2008/2009 Atlanta Hawks for completely surprising me and becoming a totally respectable NBA team. They improved by 10 games, nabbed the 4th spot in the East, and then did something no Atlanta team has done in a while, win a playoff series and advance to the 2nd round. So Yay! Way to go Hawks.

But now for the reality check: Atlanta is pretty much at the peak for this current roster...and they're not guaranteed to keep their spot next season. The Bulls are coming up. The Heat will be better as Beasley gets better. The Celtics are old, but they will still be better than the Hawks next season. Obviously Orlando and Cleveland are going to be better. And then there's no doubt in my mind the Sixers could jump the Hawks as well as some young improving team like the Bobcats. Last season was crucial for the future of this franchise...but this one might make or break them.


First things first, the Hawks need to fire Mike Woodson. This team improved in spite of him, not because. Atlanta has no offense, they don't play solid defense on a consistent basis, Woodson doesn't make adjustments, and his players don't like him. Thanks for the memories but it's time for you to pack your bags and go. Atlanta is in the Eastern conference, they need a defensive minded headcoach. That's what the Cavs and Celtics are. The Magic play solid enough defense because of Dwight Howard. The Pistons were able to dominate in the East for years because of their D. If Atlanta ever wants to make it to the promised land they've got to become a team that shuts people down. Mike Woodson ain't the guy for that.


Secondly Atlanta needs to look at Josh Smith and realize that he's a talented young player with some upside who can be a fan favorite and a star and the best asset they've got and then trade his ass away for someone who can either shoot the lights out or rebound and play defense. I'd love for the Hawks to send him to Denver in exchange for Birdman and some cap space. Or for a guy who can come off the bench and light it up. J Smooth just isn't the player the Hawks need him to be. He's immature and selfish and not a leader and he whines too much and shoots to many fucking 3s and doesn't understand how to play power forward. And his teammates don't really like him. I really wish Josh Childress had stayed last season and Smith had left town. The Hawks need to get rid of him now while he's still got a lot of value on the market.


Third thing is that Atlanta needs a real point guard. Bibby was solid this year and I like the guy, but he's old and he's still a shoot first PG...and that's not what this team needs. We need a leader, a passer, and a lockdown defender at the point. I don't care who you get, if it's through the draft or free agency, but this has been the team's biggest need for years.


And finally the Hawks need to add another player who can help Joe Johnson out...or better yet a guy who can lead this team and Joe Johnson can help him out. It became painfully obvious in these playoffs that Joe just isn't a superstar who can lead his team far. He's a great #2 but he's just not a #1 franchise guy. Either Atlanta needs to add another solid #2 player that turns the Hawks into a two man team or they just need to go for broke and pay the best superstar available to come to town and make him the franchise. Either way Joe can.'t do it alone. Johnson, Williams, Horford, and Zaza are all nice pieces to build around but the Hawks are gonna need a major facelift if they want to make it to the next level.

don't take it personal guys. it's just strictly business.


Okay, enough Hawks talk for months. Seriously I've written more about this team over the last month than I have the previous 3 years. Back to football...

I Do Commercials

Okay Hawks, no fucking around, i wanna see you guys roll down to Miami and send Dwayne Wade and his boys on vacation. no game 7s. no bringing it back to the ATL. IT ENDS TONIGHT. okay, come on the city of Atlanta hasn't won a playoff series of any kind in years (i know nothing about the hockey team so i don't know if that's 100% true). Joe Johnson, i need about 30 points from you. Josh Smith, your job is to dunk it in Jermaine O'Neal's face as many times as possible...tomahawk style.


Al Horford and Marvin Williams are both out, so that means i'm counting on you Zaza (aka my favorite Hawk)...god i love that big ugly Russian (or whatever the fuck he is). more of this is welcome too...


HAWKS HAWKS HAWKS!!!!!!! just win baby.

It's NBA playoff time! that means i'm gonna pay attention to the Hawks for a bit.

so the NBA playoffs are about to get underway shortly and Atlanta has earned themselves the number 4 seed in the East and a home series. everyone who thought the Hawks playoff birth last season was a fluke (you can count me in that group) was totally wrong. yeah the Eastern Conference kinda sucks after the top 3 teams, but Atlanta has been pretty consistent all year and has beaten some of the best teams in the NBA. unfortunately their opponent in the 1st round is the Miami Heat lead by Dwayne Wade who has been on fire all season following his awesome performance in the Olympics. i'm gonna go out on a limb and assume everyone is gonna disrespect the Hawks and pick the Heat to win this series. i'm just hoping that Atlanta can bring the same kind of energy during this series that they did last year vs. Boston (considering Atlanta was the only team that seriously challenged the eventual champs).

Zaza is fucking pumped, and you should be too.

A Stupid Thing I Heard On Local Sportstalk Radio

today while listening to the local radio show the topic of John Calipari possibly taking Kentucky's offer and becoming the highest paid coach in college basketball turned into a rant about how this contract was about to start the sort of out of control coaching arms race in SEC basketball that exists in football thanks to the whole Saban/Bama thing.

okay, seriously, that's the dumbest fucking thing i've heard on local radio in a while. i mean Billy Donovan might get a raise from Florida and Bruce Pearl might get some more cash from Tennessee, but that's about it. NO ONE in the SEC gives a shit about basketball team besides Kentucky (other than when their football team sucks and that's only if their basketball team is playing well). nobody in the SEC is gonna start throwing ridiculous money at basketball coaches to try and compete with Kentucky. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. you don't care and i don't care...only Kentucky cares. the rest of us would gladly scrap the basketball programs entirely if we thought it would win us an SEC title in football. that's just reality.

Bracket Now 100% Busted

Oh Louisville, why you gotta let me down so bad?

In life there are 3 guarantees; death, taxes, and failing to win my NCAA bracket pool. 2009 is no exception, delivering the usual brand of disappointment and proving that I know nothing about college basketball or gambling. Another planned trip to Athens' finest gentleman's club, Toppers, to spend all my tournament winnings is ruined. Fucking basketball...why you always gotta do me like that?

Will I ever learn my lesson? Probably not. Well now that I'm toast I can stop wasting my valuable time watching guys who will never be any good in the NBA bore the hell out me in one of the worst NCAA tournaments that I've seen in years. Spring Football, you now have my undivided attention.

Pour a 40 Out for my Jags

Last night, my alma mater, Augusta State University fell 74-70 in the NCAA Division II Final Four. This was the University's. 2nd straight trip to the Final Four (they lost in the title game last year) and have gone 81-19 over the last 3 seasons. I can't even fathom Auburn having a team that good. Anyways the run ends for the Jaguars, still short of a National Title...maybe next year.

So Much For That Whole Basketball Thing

Well that was fun while it lasted. but Auburn goes down to Baylor tonight 74-72, thereby ending the Tigers season...and just a game short of New York. In the football offseason it's nice to have this kind of curious distraction, but at the end of the day all Auburn fans really care about is the damn football team.

And here's to Vot Barber the double double rebounding beast of the plains. Its doubtful that the NBA is in your future kid, but head east...no more East, aka Europe...they've got money to spend and hot chicks who don't speak your language. Good luck.

Way To Go Auburn Basketball Team That I Never Watch...

so Auburn had a big come back and knocked off Alabama (giving them the season sweep! basketball is the new football bitch!) last night and earned themselves 2nd place in the SEC West and a 1st round bye in the SEC tournament. i only watched the 1st half where Auburn was getting their asses handed to them and totally missed the 2nd half come back to win 77-73. well War Eagle!!! so if Auburn can somehow knock off LSU and then win at least a game or two in the SEC tournament, well hell...there might be an NCAA tournament trip in the Tigers future. who would have guessed going into this year that the Basketball team would end up having a better season than the football team?! hell you would've probably gotten better odds betting on a black dude being president or Vandy going to a bowl game. the world is full of crazy and we are thankful for it.

Dream Baby Dream (Long Version...

To Basketball Or Not To Basketball?

so the Auburn Men's B-Ball squad (aka HOTTEST TEAM IN THE SEC BABY!!!) is in town tonight taking on the trainwreck of doom that is the UGA Basketball team. it's $15 dollars for some pretty low quality college basketball with zero guys who will ever play in the NBA taking up valuable amounts of my time that could be spent playing NCAA 2009 or watching season 1 of Californication on DVD. and these are the delimas that haunt me. if this were a choose your own adventure novel then i'd likely be eaten by a dragon on the very next page. regardless, noone i've talked to seems all that into the idea of watching my Tigers whip up on their Dawgs. come on, UGA just beat the Gators...where's your spirit Athens?

You've All Just Been Served By Shaq

by far this was the best moment of the NBA All Star Weekend.

so is their any doubt that Shaq is gonna be on Dancing With The Stars once he retires? think of how hilarious it will be. Shaq rules.

and as much as i enjoyed seeing Nate Robinson's tiny ass dunkin' over Dwight Howard, it still isn't nearly as awesome as the time he blocked Yao. if Yao isn't the most useless bigman ever then i don't know who is...okay Shawn Bradley comes to mind.

that midget can ball.

Please Make This Happen

okay, i am obviously no fan of Georgia athletics, but i do live in Athens and i do like college basketball for the one month a year of excitement it brings to my checking account. if the rumors that Bob Knight is interested in becoming UGA's next basketball coach are indeed true then i am rooting for it to happen. anything that would make Georgia basketball more interesting is something that i can get behind...hell i might even start going to actual games. besides can you imagine what kind of freakshow Knight would bring to Athens?

Sometimes There's Nothing More Awesome Than A Dunk

so i'm sure everyone who watched Sportscenter today has already seen this, but HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!

the dunk looked like something out of the Matrix.

Hey, Who Likes Shitty Basketball?

so someone told me that the Auburn Tigers play some other sport called Basketball? i've heard rumors of this but i thought it all ended back in the 1980s with Charles Barkley and Chuck Person, but apparently the school still carries on this pointless sport on a yearly basis. who knew? the Tigers will be making their yearly trip to the city of Athens, GA to face an equally as uninterested and pathetic basketball school known as the Georgia Bulldogs (HEY, That's the SEC tournament Champion Georgia Bulldogs El' Fucko!) on February 18th and depending what's on TV that night i might actually go out and watch the game with the other 200 people who have nothing better to do that evening. it's still over a month away, so that's plenty of time for me to come to my senses and decide not to go, but as of this moment i am leaning towards going to watching some shitty college basketball.

Don't Believe The Hype

so all i've heard since going into these Summer Olympics was about how the Redeem Team was gonna be challenged and that Gold wasn't going to be easy etc....some "experts" even picked against Team USA. first we heard Greece would be tough (92-69 yeah, not really), then Spain was gonna be trouble (119-82 not so much), and now we have Argentina...the BIGGEST hurdle of all. yeah, well it's 21-4 in the 1st quarter with 1:55 to play. i'll go ahead and assume it was a hurdle designed for midgets and move on. the best games Team USA have gotten were from Angola and Australia.

yeah USA Basketball is back on top like it should be. the only real question is could the 2008 team beat the 1992 team? i'm leaning towards yes. if only because the 92 team was full of aging stars near the end of their careers or well into their primes while the 08 squad is full of young superstars in their primes. granted 92 had Jordan and they have a size advantage with Patrick Ewing, David Robinson and Karl Malone; but 08 has Lebron and Kobe and plays way better defense. i don't know...maybe i'm just being insane, that's just my opinion.

Gotta Keep J. Smooth

if Josh Smith really leaves the Hawks via free agency then you can go ahead and kiss the playoffs or fan interest in next season good bye. if Josh stays he could rule the ATL as it's premiere superstar. hopefully the Hawks don't fuck this up, but considering they gave their lousy coach an extension i wouldn't count on it.

Finally The NBA Playoffs Are Over

song of the day: "Boston not LA" by the Freeze. go download it. it fits the theme of the day if you've been watching any ESPN.

i don't think i've seen an ass whipping that one sided in any sort of championship game since the 49ers crushed the Chargers back in 1995. The Lakers should be ashamed of themselves. they totally mailed that game in from the word go.

how thankful are we all that the Giants beat the Patriots. 3 Boston Championships in all 3 major sports might have caused the nation to take up arms and attack our Masshole neighbors.