Please Make This Happen

okay, i am obviously no fan of Georgia athletics, but i do live in Athens and i do like college basketball for the one month a year of excitement it brings to my checking account. if the rumors that Bob Knight is interested in becoming UGA's next basketball coach are indeed true then i am rooting for it to happen. anything that would make Georgia basketball more interesting is something that i can get behind...hell i might even start going to actual games. besides can you imagine what kind of freakshow Knight would bring to Athens?

I'm Not Saying He Should Get Fired...I'm Just Saying

10 years is a long time. 10 years ago i was too young to drink, i had a girlfriend who was still in highschool, i was really fucking into the hardcore punk scene, and Auburn football was a flaming pile of shit. i was mostly busy pretending like Auburn didn't exist that year to avoid the reality of a 3-8 season and our coach skipped down (aka was run out of town) in the middle of the season. it was a bad time to be an Auburn fan.

but then along came Tommy Tuberville and things began to turn back around. there was an SEC West title in 2000, and the amazing 2004 season, and then of course 6 straight wins over Alabama. but there's also a lot of disappointment in there too. 2001, 2003, and the let downs of 2006 and 2007...and now the most chaotic season since 1998 is rearing it's head.

i've been avoiding the issue but i feel like it's time to face the reality. this season has been a total disaster and it's pretty much all Tuberville's fault. Bama is back and in a big fucking way and from the looks of things we aren't going bowling this year. recruiting is likely to take a hit thanks to the firing of Tony Franklin and Auburn fans are pissed. people are calling for Tuberville's head but i don't think those poeple are really thinking about what could happen if we ditch our coach after one bad year. does the word Nebraska mean anything to you? i for one am not ready to send Tubs packing after a bad judgement call on the offensive direction. 6 wins over Bama earns you a do over. but FIRE TUBERVILLE is all i hear and see on the message boards. you fucking people are crazy.

that being said, if Butch Davis would like to come coach Auburn and use his recruiting magic to match Saban's then by all means fire Tuberville and make that man the coach. any coaching move other than that will be program suicide. so unless it's Davis, then we gotta stick with Tuberville. if this shit happens again next year...see you later dude and thanks for 2004.

Who is gonna be the next coach to join the BCS meat grinder?

with Tommy Bowden and Phil Fulmer's asses being on constant fire, one would assume they are gonna be fired at some point in our lifetime. and if last Saturday is any indication of what this year is gonna be like for each coach's team then those two tortured fanbases might finally get their wish and be rid of such painful incompetence. also never underestimate Spurrier getting sick of that losing bullshit at South Carolina.

but who is gonna take their spots...and what about old Joe Pa. sure he's a zombie, but eventually they're gonna take away his supply of brains in Happy Valley and send him off to that big football game in the sky. the Bear is up there waiting for a good challenge and he's coaching a pretty tough team led by Bo Jackson's hip and Kenny Stabler's liver.

so with at least one of those jobs more than likely opening up next season, who's gonna be the next coach to leave his upstart program for the big money/big pressure major conference coaching gig?

the top 5 most likely coaches to bolt for the big time after this season:

1. Greg Schiano of Rutgers.

Schiano is easily the top candidate on most school's lists. i mean the dude took one of the worst college football programs in history and has taken them to 3 straight bowl games. he's yet to win the Big East but he's made his team respectable. Schiano already turned down one high profile gig in Miami, mostly because he's waiting for that Penn State job to open up. if Joe Pa finally fucking retires after this season then he's as good as gone from New Jersey.

2. Brian Kelly of Cincinnati.

Kelly is a rising star from the mid major ranks, he turned Central Michigan into one of the better teams in the MAC and then took Cincinnati to a bowl game, 10 wins, and their first top 25 ranking since the 40s in his 1st year. Kelly's an offensive guru and his version of the spread was one of the most productive groups in the country last year. with the spread being the hot shit offense of college football for the foreseeable future he'd probably be a hot commodity for a team that could recruit good talent but not maximize their potential. so let's see, what team is constantly loaded with great talent yet can't win a fucking thing? Clemson!

3. Kris Peterson of Boise State.

Peterson took over a very successful Boise State program from Dan Hawkins and ran the table in his 1st full season and shocked the world with one of the greatest bowl upsets of all time by beating Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. a coach with BCS bowl winning experience at a non-BCS school is basically just biding his time for the right job. one assumes that unless Jake Locker can perform miracles for Washington, then Ty Willingham is out of there at the end of the year. staying in the same region he's already recruiting in makes a lot of sense and Peterson could more than likely bring the Huskies back to respectability pretty quickly.

4. Skip Holtz of East Carolina

young coach of a program on the rise. legendary coach father. stuck in a state that really only cares about basketball. all these factors plus the fact he's pretty likeable and ESPN has been all over him lately make Skip Holtz a big time target for a major college looking to either replace a legend (Spurrier if he retires) or get rid of a worn out old shoe (Fulmer). Tennessee might be a little over Skip's head, but can't you just see him becoming the 2nd Holtz to coach at South Carolina if the Ol' Ball Coach hangs up his visor at the end of the year?

5. Jim Grobe of Wake Forest

okay, so Grobe is technically already at a BCS school...but really Wake fucking Forest...really?! who'd wanna stay there? if Jim Grobe isn't the best coach in college football then he's easily the best one at getting the most out of pretty mediocre talent. imagine what he could do at a big school completely dedicated to football with 4 and 5 star recruits and an endless budget. i imagine it to be somewhere just north of Georgia and Alabama with pushpop orange colored uniforms.

I Bet Spurrier Does Have A Giant Lazer In His Office

The Coaches of the SEC as Bond Villains. Evil and Genius.

speaking of coaches; apparently Donovan McNabb is gonna play a role in hiring the next Syracuse head coach. that's sort of bizarre. i can't imagine Auburn asking Bo Jackson to give the Tigers some advise on coaching hires...but then again, Syracuse is probably one of, if not the worst BCS conference schools in all of football.

Pete Carroll ain't comin' to Hotlanta....

....but even if he wanted to Herbie-bot and Corso would do everything in their power to sabotage it. i mean would they even be able to do an entire season of College Football Gameday without being able to give Coach Carroll oral pleasures? what would Colin Cowherd even talk about on his radio show? and honestly why would Carrol wanna coach the Falcons? he's got a more talented team at Southern Cal than he would as boss in Atlanta. this is one of those stories that i fully expect to die by the end of the day. and even if he really does come to Atlanta do i even care? not really. being able to recruit insane amounts of talent to come play for you in LA and then dominate a fairly average conference every single year doesn't mean you can turn a terrible NFL team into a winner. if he turned down the Chargers and Dolphins last year then there is no fucking way he'd wanna coach the Falcons....UNLESS he thinks USC is about to get put on probation for all the Reggie Bush shit. whatever. this story doesn't even really interest me that much. i could care less about the Falcons unless they draft Darren McFadden. and watching Pete Carroll go 5-11 for 2 years before deciding he'd rather go back to college and "win forever". Arthur Blank needs to fucking hire a good NFL assistant coach and quit trying to make a big splash with his next hire. that's the problem with him as owner of the Falcons...he's way too concerned with making BIG MOVES instead of just having a solid football team.

and let's be honest, how could you ever leave the Song Girls behind?

Gimme Back My Mushchamp!

my hero of the 2007 football season, Auburn defensive coordinator Will Muschamp is apparently bolting for the greener pastures of Texas football. the Longhorns (who stole Auburn's last defensive coordinator) have offered him a job...and considering that Texas is a better launching pad for a headcoaching position, he's probably gonna take it. this fucking blows. I LOVE MUSCHAMP! he's an insane badass who fires up his players, blitzes like a maniac, and headbutts people. i'm sure Tuberville will find a good coordinator somewhere, cuz that's what he does...but fuck, it'll be sad not to see Muschamp on the sidelines next year yelling "Boom! Motherfucker!" at his players.

Oh Shit!

Houston Nutt just got the Ole' Miss job. this of course equals Ole' Miss becoming immediately better and then beating Auburn every other year or so. FUCK!!! here i was hoping we'd get some NFL retread or some MAC coach. nope, instead we get good old Nutt. i'm glad to see Houston found a job, but i was kinda hoping he'd go save SMU and bring the wild hawg with him. with any luck Arkansas will fall off the map and become a college football wasteland kinda like pre-2007 Mississippi State...but that's probably hoping against hope. no, i think all this move really does is make the SEC West that much tougher. fuck this league, Auburn needs to just go join the Big 10 and dominate that motherfucker. they already play ugly, boring, Big 10 football anyways.

a little tribute to Nutt...via the ole Youtube.

Will Muschamp Owns The Night, Motherfucker!

i stole this from Every Day Should Be Saturday, who got in from someone else, who stole it from youtube, who took it from ESPN. regardless it's about Auburn and includes the use of the word motherfucker. it felt appropriate to repost here.


I Heart Will Muschamp. if Tommy really does leave for Texas A&M they should just go ahead and make Muschamp the head coach.

I'M A MAN! I'M 40!

Mike Gundy is fucking crazy. that being said this is the best thing that's happened all season in college football. i respect Gundy sticking up for his player. but if this was Tommy Tubberville ripping a member of the media over something written about Brandon Cox sucking (to which there is plenty of) i'd be fucking embarrassed as an Auburn fan. also it totally took away from the fact that Oklahoma State actually won a game. this was a team that alot of people were talking about as a dark horse in the Big 12 and so far they've fallen flat on their face, including a loss to Troy (you can't lose games to goddamned Sun Belt teams and expect anyone to take your team seriously), so you finally go out and beat a superior Texas Tech team but all anyone is talking about is you screaming at a female reporter who called your overrated QB soft. get with it dude. you're a man. you're 40.