What Happened One Night In America Is All You Ever Need To Know About Atlanta Sports

Where once there was a feeling of optimism and hope, now there is only despair. 30+ years or rooting for Atlanta sports teams has taught me one thing more than any, how it feels to fucking lose.

The Braves suffer yet another heartbreaking defeat in the post season and are now 18 years removed from winning a World Series. The 2013 squad were a team that renewed my interest and love in the Atlanta Braves. They are young, full of potential, had the most dominating bullpen in baseball, hit a shit load of homeruns, and were fun to watch most of the year....but like so many Braves teams that came before them all of the things they did well during the year vanished when it came crunch time. that Atlanta was able to hit 1 meaningless homerun against the the Dodgers after leading the NL in 4 baggers for the year is exactly what you would have expected to happen. having one of your most reliable relief pitchers give up what would be the game winning homerun just 6 outs away from pulling off an upset in LA and sending the series back to Atlanta with all the momentum in the Braves favor is exactly what you should have expected to happen. going home early again is exactly what you should have expected.

The Falcons have gone from a Super Bowl contender to a fucking disaster that will be lucky to win 6 games. Those 10 yards shy of winning the NFC seem 100s of yards away now. a trash heap offensive line, a useless defense, and some of the most boneheaded coaching moves you will ever see has sunk the 2013 season just 5 games in. there are so many negative things i could say about this Falcons team, but i am not gonna waste the blogspot space. the Falcons need major changes if they want to ever win a championship. in the NFL you have the shortest of windows and Atlanta's in closing fast.

2 franchises linked in geography and their ability to mutually let down their fanbase on a yearly basis. Let the yankees burn Atlanta to the ground again and let's just start all over.

A Lifetime Of Defeats Returns Not To Praise The Auburn Tigers, But To Bury Them

Hello old friends, foes, loyal readers, and people who accidentally stumbled on to this long vacant piece of blogspot real estate. i have decided to bring this useless site back because whining on twitter just isn't the same. it takes a lot more than 140 characters for me to say Auburn Sucks And They Are Ruining My Fucking Life.

 Following Auburn's 2010 BCS title season I felt like I had finally made peace with my long suffering Auburn Tigers fandom. Going into 2011 I knew it was going to be a tough season and there just wasn't anyway I had much to say or complain about while still basking in the afterglow of Cam Newton, Nick Fairley, and those 2010 Tigers. But it's been a long time since then in the world of college football and my rage and despair have returned to me with a vengeance.

 2 weeks into the Auburn Tigers 2012 campaign and there aren't words to describe how I feel about this team....well maybe a few words... Unbelievably Shitty, Fucking Awful, Useless Motherfuckers, Worst Auburn Team Of My Motherfucking Lifetime. Those are some that come to mind. Sitting through 2 weeks of truly embarrassing performances by this version of Auburn is really more than my 34 year old heart can take. This bullshit ages me. How my father hasn't died rooting for this fucking team is beyond me. Even when they win a title there's no real fun to be had. Fuck it. What else am I gonna do with my life...watch soccer? Fuck that commie shit.

Anyways I've completely lost the point....oh yeah this year Auburn is going to suck in a way that I don't think I would've let myself imagine they could suck. I mean is Auburn on double secret probation? Cuz they seem like a team on probation. They sure as shit don't look like a team that's had 3 top 10 recruiting classes in a row. I understand that they are young...but I didn't realize they were also inept. I hope Gene Chizik sends Cam Newton a gift every single weekend to thank him for the job security that the Chiz currently enjoys...because without that handsome magical mountain of a QB's magical season Gene Chizik's seat would be on motherfucking fire right now. He and his staff might be able to recruit but they sure as shit can't coach. The linebackers can't tackle. The defensive backs can't cover. The linemen can't hold on to the other teams QB. And the offense is looking really fucking similiar to that shitty 2008 one that got Tommy Tuberville's big eared ass run out of town. BCS title or not, if this doesn't turn around quickly then ole' Chiz might start looking for some defensive coordinator work in his future. So why do we suck so bad? The lack of depth and the quality of Tuberville's pisspoor recruiting classes can't be blamed for the bullshit product we see out on the field. These are all Chizik's boys. I guess Gene has kicked one too many weed smoking 5 stars off the team than he should have. Maybe it was a terrible idea to run your offensive coordinator out of town so that you could get a boring pro style play caller in to town to NOT take advantage of all the spread ready talent you've been recruiting for 4 fucking years. No wonder our quarterback looks completely fucking lost on the field every time he touches the ball. Or maybe he just sucks. I am starting to think that may be the case. Cuz he sure as shit didn't look like he knew what the hell he was doing last season when he attempted a pass. He looks even less so this season without the benefit of sitting the bench behind that two headed beast of mediocrity that was Barrett Trotter and Clint Moseley. Speaking of Moseley, why not put him in the game? Is his shoulder that trashed? I guess Zeke Pike's dumbass should've been given another chance before the Chizik sent him packing. That moral high ground seems real nice until your only options are a deadarmed loser, a sophomore who looks like a fish out of water, and a true freshman who noone was recruiting. I feel bad for Blake and Lutz that their final years on the Plains that their draft stock is going to take huge hits because they don't have anyone to throw them the damn ball. For future reference to any Auburn coaches....DO NOT RECRUIT QUARTERBACKS FROM THE STATE OF ARKANSAS WHO HAVE STUPID FUCKED SPELLINGS OF THEIR FIRST NAMES. Those guys are coach killers.

the head attached to this shirt is full of hate and rage.

 So what do we have to take away from these losses to teams we should NEVER lose to. Well the main thought I have is this is going to be a really long season. Like 4 or 5 wins long. Anyone who thinks Auburn is gonna magically turn it around when LSU and Arkansas are about to crush the Tigers in the next few months is higher than Michael Dyer. Auburn doesn't look like a team that can give Vandy or Ole Miss much of a game. Another thought is that the really great recruiting class we have right now is all nice and everything but the Tigers top priority should be to go out and find a QB who has started for another Division 1A team that can come in and start for Auburn next season cuz we obviously have noone capable of running a pro style offense or any kind of offense on campus. And fianlly I am gonna be doing some major liver damage to myself this year because I am going to need to be shitfaced every single week to get through a year like the one we are looking at. Either that or I could just free up my Saturdays and do things like spend time with my lady or visit my parents or go see some movies. But who the fuck wants to do that when there is football to be watched? The suffering is back friends. Did it ever really end? War Damn Eagle.

all my teams suck again, as i remember them

That didn't take very long. Last year I got spoiled by a national title winning Auburn team and a Falcons squad that had the NFC's best record and the Braves were back in the playoffs with an exciting group of young players. 1 year later I have a young Auburn team that is gonna be lucky to win 7 games, a Falcons squad that looks fucking terrible and has me wanting them to blow up the franchise and start all over again, & the Braves collapse makes me wanna give up baseball for good.

Auburn I at least still believe in...well not this year's team, but I believe in them going forward...assuming Frazier actually figures out how to throw a football. (Please don't let him be Kodi Burns all over again.) Maybe QBs from Arkansas that spell their first names retardedly just aren't the way to go.

The Falcons I don't believe in AT ALL. This is season 4 of the Matt Ryan/Mike Smith era and this year's version of the Dirty Birds looks like the worst of the bunch. Turner is old. The offensive line is banged up and ineffective. Roddy White is dropping passes. Julio Jones was not worth all those goddamn draft picks. The defense is just fucking awful. And worst of all, Matt Ryan is exactly the QB I thought he was before Atlanta drafted him...aka average. You are not winning a Super Bowl with a guy who is just average. It is not happening. Not anymore. The days of Trent Dilfer being a championship QB are over. If you don't have one of the top 10 qbs in the league then you are fucked. Matt Ryan might not even be top 20 if you are being honest. Hell he would be the last QB I would draft out of his own division. Brees and Freedman are already better than Matty Ice and Cam Newton is the fucking future of the NFC South. Matt Ryan is Steve DeBerg. Why didn't they just suck one more year and then draft Matt Stafford?

The Braves are...ugghh who fucking cares? I hate baseball.

all my favorite teams suck at everything

Braves complete the most epic fail in baseball history (other than those far more overcovered assholes in Boston). I'm swearing off baseball for good.

The Falcons let a mediocre Seahawks team comeback on them and nearly choke.

Auburn remains the most frustrating team in the country but somehow beats an even more clueless South Carolina squad.

Sports are supposed to entertain...but these 3 teams just make me wanna shoot my face off.

please let me get what i want this time

my name is Justin Stephen Robinson. i was born August 2nd, 1978 in the shitty northern Alabama town of Fort Payne during the reign of terror of Bear Bryant. the year i was born Bama were champs and even early baby pictures depict a young Justin in Alabama baby clothes given to my folks by my mother's family...all die hard Tide fans. to be honest the entire northern part of Alabama were Tide fans...well most of it, my father on the other hand being a contrary sort of person had long ago pledged his allegiance to Auburn University. like any good son, i took up my father's team as my own as soon as i was old enough to understand what the fuck football was.

luckily for me becoming aware of football also happened to coincide with some guy named Bo Jackson coming to Auburn and things like SEC championships and beating the Tide on a regular basis. my first live Auburn game was the 1987 season opener where the Tigers destroyed Texas. that moment pretty much made me a Tiger for life.

in 1989 i can remember crying from happiness when Auburn defeated Bama for the 4th time in a row and giving them a win at Jordan-Hare for the 1st time the game was ever played there. that might always be my favorite Auburn moment of all time. i was still young and not yet broken and jaded from years of disappointment to understand just how special that moment was. but as i got older disappointment is what i learned to expect as a fan of Auburn. i always remembered my dad being pissed about Auburn being screwed in favor of Miami in 1983 but i didn't care about such things. well of course probation came along and robbed me of the 1993 season and any chance at a national title. it wasn't fair. flash forward to 2004 and another crushing blow. now i could relate to the old man. rooting for Auburn meant you'd win some big games...but in the end you are gonna get fucked by the Powers That Be.

when the Tuberville era came crashing down and Alabama re-established themselves i began to resign myself to the fact that i was probably NEVER going to see Auburn win a national championship. it just didn't seem even remotely likely.

...and yet here we are, just one more win away from having a shot for a BCS title. and that's all i've ever wanted for Auburn. a motherfucking chance. if they lose to Oregon then so be it...but just give them the chance. some of my friends have been quick to tell me that if Auburn wins the title then it's probably going to be taken away, something i could honestly give a fuck about. you can strip away a title but you can't take away my memories. just give me some memories Auburn. that's all i'm asking.

Fucking Hell

Well Bama fans are having a good night, I'm sure. This has been a crappy week. the local elections already had me down and now this. Ugghh.

I guess the main concern is did Auburn do anything wrong? My guess/hope would be no. Noone at Auburn gave Cam Newton any money and so the chance of being put on probation isn't an option. If that isn't the case and he was paid...WELL I GUESS I'M GOING TO JUST PRETEND COLLEGE FOOTBALL DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.

The 2nd concern is if Newton will be declared ineligible after some kind of NCAA investigation. Which wouldn't seem likely to come during the season, which means we've still got our best player for the rest of the year.

I've already assumed Newton would go pro after the season and with this cloud now hanging over his head it seems 99% more likely.

All in all this fucking sucks because even if Cam did nothing wrong this is going to be a story that is a distraction for the rest of the year and could end Newton's chances of winning the Heisman as well as hurt Auburn in the polls thanks to self righteous sport writers ready to convict a player and a team before any facts can be proven.

In the end; FUCK MISSISSIPPI STATE! and Urban Meyer.

"...A Fucking Football Team That Never Wins"

i thought i'd go ahead and note as a long suffering fan of the Atlanta Falcons that they finally posted back-to-back winning seasons for the first time ever. EVER!!!!! goddamnit, what a shitty fucking franchise. of course having their 2nd winning season in a row didn't mean shit cuz they missed the playoffs (those damn losses to the Panthers and Giants!) so yeah, all it really means is they get a lower draft pick. still i would like to believe if Turner and Ryan hadn't gotten hurt that Atlanta could've won 10 or 11 games. they had one of the hardest schedules in the league and posted a 9-7 record. they've got a lot of young talent, a legit QB (even though Ryan struggled a lot this year), and a good coach. with any luck winning seasons won't be a big deal in the future and the thought of winning a championship might just creep into my skull....if i could shake 31 years of being a pessimist out of it.